— Middletown, Connecticut, since 1868 — THEWESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 VOLUME CLIII, ISSUE 24 WESLEYANARGUS.COM Students Face SJB Musical Ethics Sanctions for Activism By Miranda Katz gist.org prior to the hearing, the News Editor three students faced a fine of $5,245 for the degendering of all signs on Three students faced a Student campus after being identified in Judicial Board (SJB) hearing on Usdan with degendering materials. Wednesday, Dec. 4, for participa- Two of the five students involved tion in the degendering of campus at the time were not referred to the bathrooms over the past month. The SJB. SJB found the students responsible “Although other students may for removing signs from the Usdan have been involved in ‘de-gendering’ University Center (Usdan) on Oct. bathrooms across campus, these 15, determining that this action three students were confronted by constituted a property violation and Usdan staff while doing so,” wrote sanctioning a restitution of $451 to Vice President for Student Affairs be split between the three students. Michael Whaley in a statement. The SJB did not find the students “[...] During the hearing, the Board responsible for the degendering of received some evidence that two ad- other bathrooms on campus. ditional students may also have been According to a statement writ- involved, and an additional hearing ten by Mariama Eversley ’14 and EMMA DAVIS/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Ross Levin ’15 and posted on youn- SJB, page 7 Paul McCallion ’15, Jessica Perelman ’17, Lauren Langer ’16, Ryan Breen ’17, and Melanie Parziale ’16 will appear in “Broadcast,” directed by Dylan Zwickel ’14 and showing in the ’92 Students Object to Theater this weekend. See page 13 for the full story. Pomace Oil in Usdan Faculty Approves Creation of By Jess Zalph olive oil that was usually present at College of East Asian Studies Food Editor the salad dressing table was replaced with olive pomace oil in October. By Sofi Goode Chair of the East Asian Studies hopes that the new structure will bring A small but burgeoning protest Students raised their concerns Assistant News Editor Program Stephen Angle presented the fresh enthusiasm to the study. on campus is being raised against about this issue, citing studies proposal to the Educational Policy “Right now is a crucial moment Bon Appétit’s use of olive pomace done by the United Kingdom Food The University officially ap- Committee (EPC) at the beginning of transition for East Asian Studies at oil in its food preparation. On Nov. Standards Agency and the United proved a proposal to create the College of the school year. Wesleyan Student Wesleyan, in two different senses,” Angle 24, Wesleyan Student Assembly States Department of Agriculture. of East Asian Studies (CEAS) on Nov. Assembly (WSA) Academic Affairs said. “A bunch of long-time faculty (WSA) Dining Committee member These studies indicate that many 19. The new interdisciplinary college Chair Grant Tanenbaum ’15 sat on the members are retiring, and our long-time Angus McLean ’16 raised the issue brands of olive pomace contain po- will combine the current East Asian committee and believes the College will support from the Freeman Foundation is the presence of pomace oil’s at the tentially harmful levels of polycyclic Studies program, the department of strengthen East Asian Studies at the basically ending.” salad dressing table at the commit- aromatic hydrocarbons, which are Asian Languages and Literatures, and University. The Freeman Foundation, which tee’s meeting. carcinogenic. The quality of the oil the Freeman Center for East Asian “What was most exciting is that aims to strengthen ties between the Olive pomace oil is a relative is a result of the refining process that Studies. it looked like this solved a problem,” United States and the countries of the of extra virgin olive oil that has the manufacturer uses and the rela- The new CEAS major will be a Tanenbaum said. “These very related Pacific Rim, has given extensively to the been processed using high tempera- tive temperatures in these different three-year program that students ap- disciplines that were separated and made Center for East Asian Studies for de- tures and solvents, usually hexane. processes. ply to at the end of their first year. things more complicated for students cades. Houghton and Doreen Freeman, Students became aware of the po- Wesleyan Executive Chef Brian Major requirements for the College who were often taking courses in all of the foundation’s benefactors, passed tential issue when the extra virgin will only differ from the current East these areas.... [I]t was exciting to see a away in 2010 and 2013, respectively. OIL, page 15 Asian Studies major in that students proposal that addressed those short- “We are at a point where East Asian will be required to complete three comings.” Studies could wither away unless we get years of a foreign language instead of The planning for the College and Progress for Women’s Basketball two. proposal began several years ago. Angle CEAS, page 5 Sustainability Office Gives Students the Green Light By Jenny Davis the Environmental Studies Program,” products, are recyclable or composta- Assistant Opinion Editor Royer said. “Sustainability isn’t the ble. The cold cups are plastic, but they explicit focus, but a lot of the material are not being recycled because people When the 2009 end-of- we cover is directly related to it. We don’t realize and put them in the trash.” semester environmental sci- don’t just pay lip service to the fact that Elliott and Max will propose a ence symposium was postponed, Environmental Studies is broad. One mug-sharing system that could oper- Associate Professor of Earth and overarching theme is climate: energy, ate in one of two ways. Their first idea Environmental Sciences Dana Royer fossil fuels, food, and global warming.” would make reusable mugs just as con- was forced to think of a new idea Projects this year ranged from venient to use as paper cups. for his class’ final project. What he conserving water to reducing off-cam- “We think that people who care devised was rooted in practicality: pus air travel. Royer allows students will continue to bring their reusable students were tasked with submit- to work in teams of no more than mugs to Pi Café and get the discount,” ting a four-page proposal to boost two. One such pair, Lizzy Elliott ’16 Elliott said. “But it’s the convenience Wesleyan’s sustainability, and Royer and Sonia Max ’17, took advantage of of single-use cups—not wanting to would select the top several for Royer’s efforts to encourage collabora- carry them around and not wanting consideration by the Sustainability tion. Elliott and Max decided to focus to clean them—that makes people use Office. This project proved so suc- their project on doing away with sin- them. With mug-sharing, we would cessful that Royer recycled the as- gle-use cups, both plastic and paper. get the benefit of using non-disposable signment three times. “Our idea behind the project mugs while also maintaining the con- “‘Introduction to is that we’re trying to reduce hot and venience factor. People would use the SHANNON WELCH/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Environmental Studies’ is designed cold disposable cups,” Elliott said. “We mugs and then put them in bins in The women’s basketball team defeated Worcester State as a gateway to the Earth and still haven’t determined if the hot cups, University 56-34. See page 19 for more. Environmental Sciences major and which are made from post-consumer E&ES, page 9 ACCESS “Family Frenzy” Imaginary Tracks Murphy on higher ed reform 7 Diecke talks writing, reform 13 Davis explores trains, fantasies 16 2 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013

The Wesleyan Argus WESPEAKS established in 1868 Apply for The Editors-in-Chief Keeping Textbooks in Lily Baggott Christina Norris Production Manager Morgenstern-Clarren Michelle Woodcock The (Student) Loop

Executive Editors By Alex Kelley It may not be convenient Claire Bradach for you to hold on to your books Olivia Horton Prize for Social Justice Hi everyone, Alex Kelley here— for a summer, and at the end of Abbey Francis I graduated last spring. I majored the semester you may want to get News Editors Miranda Katz in English and now live in Oakland some quick cash for them at Broad Tess Morgan working as a namer at Catchword. Street. But in doing that, you are Work! Asst. News Editors Sophie Zinser During my senior year, there was forcing a different student next se- Sofi Goode By Joshua Krugman careers or career interests and people Features Editors Rebecca Seidel a lot of campus kerfuffle about need- mester to BUY a book from Broad blind admissions. And, now that my Street at a much higher price. who are out of work; and lastly, by Adam Keller Current sophomores and ju- serving as an example of the possible Asst. Features Editors Gabe Rosenberg friends and I are having to start pay- Everyone knows how little you get ing back our student loan bills, I have when you sell back a book, and niors, roles a farm can play in a community, Rebecca Brill I’m writing to encourage you and by promoting further experi- Food Editors Andrew Ribner been thinking once again about how how expensive it is to buy from expensive school was. there! Don’t force other students to apply for this year’s Morgenstern- mentation in this vein at other col- Jess Zalph Clarren Award for social justice leges, in other cities, and beyond. Asst. Food Editors Erica DeMichiel There were parts of the need- to buy from BS! Even if a student blind admissions fight that I remem- only makes $100 more in selling work. The generous award from the Emma Davis This award recognizes activist, 2013 Morgenstern-Clarren bought Opinion Editors Josh Cohen ber fondly. I remember witnessing their books and saves $100 buying Jenn Cummings great camaraderie and kindness as stu- books over the course of their four volunteer, and organizing work that several cherry trees, blueberry, rasp- Asst. Opinion Editor Jenny Davis dents fought on behalf of each other years of using texts.com, that’s still students have done at or around berry, elderberry, and blackberry Arts Editors Dan Fuchs and future students they had never a significant amount of money. It’s Wesleyan that has had some positive bushes, a pawpaw tree, a mulberry Gwendolyn Rosen met against the rising costs of tuition. a student loan payment, it’s a plane impact on people’s quality of life, tree, a chestnut tree, rhubarb and Sports Editors Josh Cohen Then, there were the trying, madden- ticket, or it’s a security deposit. and has made communities health- other plantings this past summer for Brett Keating ing parts of the battle, most notably Texts.com is about building a ier, safer, more equitable, peaceful, the “edible forest garden” that Long Asst. Sports Editors Felipe DaCosta the feeling of helplessness in the face strong community where students and just. Lane Farm is creating using perma- Gili Lipman of the powerful administrative body. help other students; that’s why it The Peter Morgenstern- culture principles in its central half- Photo Editors Trisha Arora I’m writing today to remind you doesn’t take a single cent from any Clarren ’03 Social Justice Award acre. We would not have been able to Kathy Lee about just one small thing everyone student transaction. Think about was created in memory of Peter advance so quickly toward our vision Asst. Photo Editor Noah Mertz can do in the ongoing fight against how much students would save if Morgenstern-Clarren, who worked of creating this vital, nourishing heart Head Layout Noor Tell for social justice while a student at for the farm ecosystem without the At-Large Eliza Loomis rising tuition: use Texts.com (and all of Wesleyan started using Texts. neither the administration nor Broad com. Then, what if it caught on Wesleyan. His activism included generous help of the Morgenstern- Layout Mariel Brunman securing benefits for Wesleyan Clarren Award. We are fully and hap- Cat Walsh Street can stop you!). across the country? Textbook costs Don’t think about Texts.com just as are a huge part of tuition at every custodial staff while a member pily in their debt. Sofia Zaidman of the United Student and Labor Any sophomore or junior may Gabe Rosenberg a site you should use to get a little more single school. Please, use Texts.com money for your books. Texts.com is a for your peers, the students in your Action Committee and contribut- apply for this award. She should sub- Hadley Feingold ing his leadership to the campus mit an essay that addresses the fol- Business Manager Andrew Hove site you should use because it helps classes, and those who will come your fellow students afford to go to after you; everyone thanks you for chapter of Amnesty International. lowing: Advertising Manager Katya Sapozhnina The Award is endowed by Dr. Describe in detail the most in- Web Editor Alicia Gansley school. Every book you sell on Texts. it. Hadley Morgenstern-Clarren and fluential social justice effort in which Social Media Editor Kirby Sokolow com is another book that bookstores Distribution Managers Aaron Veerasuntharam and online retailers won’t be able to Kelley is a member of the class of The Honorable Pat Morgenstern- you played a leadership role that Alex Papadogiannis use to rip off one of your peers. 2013. Clarren to remember their son’s sought to make our local and global Ampersand Editor Sarah Esocoff activism for the public good and to communities more equitable (The ef- Head Copy Editor Elana Rosenthal applaud those who continue in this fort should have a direct effect on the Copy Editors Erica DeMichiel path. Wesleyan campus and/or on external Billy Donnelly Past recipients of the award communities.); Sophia Franchi On the Senior have included students working Explain your level of involve- Emma Sherman for greater social responsibility in ment in the work, for example: your Wesleyan’s investments, working for role in raising awareness about a par- Thank you to our generous donors: Class Reception disability rights at Wesleyan, and or- ticular issue on campus, coordinating Alice and Colby Andrus ganizing a youth radio program in events, implementing programming Brooke Byers Middletown, among other things. and campaigns in the pursuit of so- By Jose Enrique Calvo Elhauge in a form of communal or exemplary Lawrence Ling I received last year’s prize for cial justice; punishment, even as Wesleyan refuses my three years as a worker and In addition to your essay, you Alex Wilkinson Last night, pre-registered students to prevent or reimburse damages to organizer of Long Lane Farm, a must include a letter of support from from the Wesleyan University senior student property. For example, in my community-run organic farm on a faculty or administrator involved class attended their first Senior Class freshman year, the University hardly the Wesleyan campus. Long Lane in your effort and submit evidence The Wesleyan Argus (USPS 674- Reception. Barely any hint was given that responded when seven locked bicycles supplies fresh, delicious, healthful of impact that the social justice ef- 680) is published by the undergradu- this event was in fact a fundraiser for the ates of Wesleyan University. The Uni- in the designated bike room of my organic produce for free to families fort had on making our society more versity does not publish the Argus or University scheduled to coincide with the dormitory were vandalized for what in the neighborhood as part of the just by contributing testimonies from influence its content, nor is it respon- “Giving Tuesday” fundraising initiative easily totaled to over $1,000 in proper- Middletown Food Project at afford- individuals (excluding family and sible for any of the opinions expressed directed at the alumni. ty damage. A report was filed, but the able prices to people living in the friends) directly involved, artifacts in the Argus. I attended anyway, but felt incred- promised Public Safety investigation economically-depressed North End from your social justice effort (e.g., The Argus is published twice ibly uncomfortable at the event. The did not materialize, no security cam- of Middletown via the North End past printed programs, presentations, weekly during the school year except fundraising theme was front and center. eras were installed, and no reimburse- Farmers’ Market, and it improves and articles), and/or your work from in exam periods or recesses. First class The speeches of President Roth and the ment was contemplated for the lack of the health and sustainability of courses. postage paid in Middletown, CT student organizers were painful to watch. preventative or investigative measures. 06459. Wesleyan’s own food system by part- You may include non-print It was not school spirit that was being ap- The University receives a quarter of nering with Bon Appétit, Wesleyan’s items, such as DVDs. The Argus welcomes Wespeaks pealed to, but blind patriotism. I could see that pertain to campus issues, news a million dollars per student, charges dining service, to serve our produce I submitted some pickled green stories and editorial policy. Wespeaks (and it gave me some solace) that most of students even more for property dam- to Wesleyan students in the dining tomatoes from the farm in the cat- should be no longer than 750 words. the seniors around me were squirming. age that they aren’t responsible for and halls. (The Bon Appétit administra- egory of “non-print items.” Be cre- The deadline for submission is 4 p.m. And I was temporarily relieved to see an- that the University could easily cover, tion has been incredibly supportive ative! (Monday, for Tuesday publication, and other fellow senior take the stage not to and then does nothing when student of the farm, creating two student You must include at least four Thursday, for Friday publication). All continue the show, but to call for a boy- property is damaged. jobs to augment volunteer labour copies of the non-print and printed submissions should be e-mailed to ar- cott of donations until misplaced financial Each member of the senior class in tending to the farm, and the Bon items and drop them off to Dean [email protected], and should include priorities returned to need-blind admis- has already given hir fair share to help Appétit staff has been keen to exper- Marina J. Melendez, North College, the author’s name and telephone num- sion and financial aid policies. maintain the University. “Our goals iment with integrating Long Lane 2nd floor, Room 215 by 5 p.m. on ber. But I have since grown indignant, The Argus reserves the right to edit are to educate seniors about why it is produce into a variety of dishes, as February 28, 2014. All essays, letters all submissions for spelling, grammar not because this student was almost physi- important to support Wesleyan,” say well as featuring them regularly on of support, and printed items must and length as well as withhold We- cally bullied off stage, not because of the the organizers. Yes, you read that cor- the salad bar.) be in by the deadline. By submit- speaks that are excessively vulgar or smirks on the student band members’ rectly: “educate.” I’m sure that loos- Long Lane Farm also benefits ting your packet, you agree to allow nonsensical. The Wespeak editors will faces as they tried to cut off this student’s ening up attendees with free alcohol community members by empow- the Office of Student Affairs and the provide titles for all submissions. Due speech with their sub-par music, not be- helped with this ‘education.’ Wesleyan ering people from a wide range of Office of Diversity and Institutional to the volume of mail received, neither cause of the University’s questionable and once protected its student body from backgrounds with the skills, knowl- Partnerships to use it (or excerpts publication nor return of submissions concealed financial priorities, but because predatory military recruiting; why edge, and means to grow their own from it) for assessment, archival, and are guaranteed. the University was asking its own student can’t it protect its student body from Editorial offices are located at 45 food by incarnating the academic promotion purposes. body for money. All members of Wesleyan predatory fundraising? The admin- spirit of the University in embodied If you have any questions, don’t Broad Street, Middletown. Email: ar- University’s senior class have already paid [email protected] istration and the Wesleyan Student enactment, sparking an ongoing, hesitate to contact Dean for the Class through their families almost a quarter Assembly should ban funding for uni- dynamic dialectic by way of which of 2014 Marina J. Melendez, Ph.D., of a million dollars to the institution or versity fundraising initiatives directed theory is also transformed; by serv- x.2765, [email protected]. otherwise rigorously demonstrated their at the student body. ing as a welcoming gathering place Also, feel free to email me at jk- Find an Error? inability to pay such an exorbitant sum. This is why Not. for people from different academic [email protected]. Contact us at Many if not most students have further disciplines, different neighborhoods [email protected] been fined for (often minor) damages to Calvo Elhauge is a member of the or countries, different economic Krugman is a member of the class ‘communal areas’ owned by the University class of 2014. means, different politics, different of 2014. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS WESPEAKS • 3 Why You Should Care Why I Will Not Support Vandalism About Repatriation in The Name of Social Justice By Nina Gurak would prove a hierarchy of races. He By Mytheos Holt despite the fact that the idea of a fair and chalking as expression, this act is legally asserted that Caucasian people had consistent rule of law is part and parcel of equivalent to someone expressing a belief It is hard to believe that Wesleyan larger skulls than Native Americans This past Wednesday, alumni of conservative ideology, and has been since in need-blind admissions by running a once had strong religious roots as a and African Americans, so they this university joined to author a letter the time of Edmund Burke. This willful squatting ring for homeless people out of a Methodist Missionary school. Now the must be of a superior intelligence. condemning the administration’s alleged ignorance of potential allies speaks poorly dormitory: optically unhelpful, immature, venue of trippy concerts, progressive lec- Additionally, indigenous youth were abuse of transgendered students, and call- of the authors’ strategic sensibilities, as well and clearly criminal. tures, and sexologist talks, the Chapel is being sent to residential boarding ing for it to drop its controversial SJB case as their supposed tolerance for diversity. Finally, even if you concede the one of the last vestiges of this former iden- schools, and assimilation was the of- against trans* students. Speaking of the rule of law, this premise that students ought to be able to tity. Unfortunately, it is not the only thing ficial policy of the United States gov- I respectfully dissent. This is not brings me to my second point. The let- deface university property at whatever cost the missionaries left behind. Deep within ernment. It was in this climate that in- an easy stance to take. For one thing, it ter appears to be entirely unconcerned in the name of free expression, the letter’s the collections of the University lies an digenous human remains and cultural is unpopular among the Wesleyan com- with the administration’s blatantly illib- philosophy is still illiberal. To illustrate entire museum collection. Abandoned objects were brought into the collec- munity to be on the perceived wrong side eral treatment of the students involved as this, imagine the situation were reversed, since the 1970s, this collection once tions. The collections eventually grew of gender issues. For another, I remain “guilty until proven innocent.” In fact, it and gender-conforming students had housed over 500,000 specimens. Now, so large that they took up residence concerned about the persistent degree to seems to agree with the administration ripped down signs declaring bathrooms due mostly to theft and destruction, the in the former Wesleyan Museum in which the administration has selectively in presuming their guilt, which it tries gender-neutral and replaced them with Wesleyan University Archaeology and Judd Hall. The museum continued ignored the idea of due process when deal- to recast as heroic behavior in the face of gendered signs. How would the authors of Anthropology Collections (WUAAC) collecting and displaying artifacts un- ing with students, a problem that goes oppression. This is an absolutely irrespon- the letter react? dwindles at nearly 25,000 artifacts. til its closure in the 1950s. The con- back to my years at Wesleyan, and which sible position to take. If the students in Or, to be less speculative, how have Where did these artifacts come from, tents were then packed up and placed I vividly remember complaining about question are guilty, then the administra- students at this school reacted in the past and, perhaps more importantly, where in storage until they were uncovered in the pages of this paper. Nevertheless, I tion is completely within its rights, both when this sort of treatment is accorded to did they go? This semester, I set out to in the 1970s. The in-between years must express my total disagreement with morally and legally, to punish them as less politically sympathetic targets, such answer these questions and, instead, un- were especially difficult for the collec- the letter sent by my fellow alumni, for the severely as it can. Whatever one’s agree- as the Wesleyan chapter of Theta Beta Pi? covered something much more sinister tions because of the University’s awful following reasons. ment with administration policy, vandal- With protests against an administration lurking behind the curtain. storage conditions. As one University 1. I believe the letter is needlessly ex- ism and destruction of university property that treats any liability to its reputation Reverend Dr. Fisk, of Fisk Hall employee put it, “the collections were clusionary in its language. are crimes, and Wesleyan ought to have no as de facto evidence of guilt while hiding fame, was the first to mention the word ravaged by two, four, and six- legged 2. The letter evinces an understand- tolerance for them as a form of activism. behind anonymous accusations? Or with “museum” in conjunction with the vermin,” in reference to the students ing of the administration’s role that is, if More to the point, while the instinct to victorious triumph at the persecution of University. On Oct. 22, 1834, he ad- and pests that destroyed some of the possible, even more damaging than the sympathy on the part of progressive alum- less progressive groups? I don’t need to cite dressed a crowded chapel with his vi- materials. administration’s itself. ni is understandable, even the noblest act Wesleying to know the answer. sion for a new society at Wesleyan, The The University just issued a 3. The letter’s position on student of civil disobedience by definition involves In short, my reason for dissenting Missionary Lyceum. He believed this formal apology to all indigenous expression is incoherent at best, and hypo- an acceptance of consequences for one’s is simply this: I do not believe my fel- society would function to “further the people for participating in these op- critical at worst. disobedience. low alumni want to protect free expres- missionary enterprise and all who profess pressive collecting practices, but what Firstly, there is the issue of exclu- Advocates for the students may point sion, but instead the “right” of specific, to be governed by liberal principles and can we, the students, do to reconcile sionary language. The letter begins with to the issue of chalking as a predecessor. anointed groups to disrupt campus life all who feel a deep interest in improving this historical oppression with a the the words “We, progressive Wesleyan But unlike the case of chalking, in which and vandalize the school, while using their their fate by extending them the blessings liberal and progressive Wesleyan we alumni.” Did the authors really believe real student speech was being suppressed presumptively underprivileged status as of civilization and Christianity.” Daniel want and deserve? The first goal is that only progressives would be concerned in order to save the minimal cost of clean- a form of extralegal privilege. This is not Kidder, Class of 1836, expounded on the return of all human remains and about the administration staging a trial ing up campus, here the students inflicted how the world works, nor how it should the reasoning behind a missionary mu- sacred objects taken by Wesleyan stu- of students for something there is (chari- actual damage on university buildings, work, in Wesleyan or out. seum in his correspondence with another dents so that they may be repatriated tably speaking) only weak evidence they which is a more serious violation. What Reverend. He stated that the two func- to their proper origins. These human actually did? I am afraid they must have, is more, where there was grey area about Holt is a member of the class of 2010. tions of the Missionary Museum were as remains and sacred objects are linked follows: the first was to use the collections to the insidious cultural oppression to learn about different cultures so that of Native people across the world. missionaries could teach Christian prin- It is integral that we, the students of ciples as effectively as possible, and the Wesleyan, take a look at our contri- second was to use the collections to serve bution to this oppression and think as a tribute to the missionaries’ work so carefully about what we are doing that “their own collections may be exam- to cause further harm or to take ad- ined by their friends, an[d] in the future, vanced action. Engaging in a dialogue be treasured as relics of their labors and of around these issues will force the their love to man.” University to think about its past with The practice of collecting artifacts a critical eye and move towards pro- from different cultures was not unique at gressive reforms in the future. While the time, nor is it unique now. This was faculty has contributed greatly, with- a time when “science” was privileged over out a student push on these issues, the personal stories, and collecting meant University will continue to drag its taking without free prior and informed feet. Engaging in a dialogue around consent of the indigenous people. This these issues will force the University to means that the indigenous people did not think about its past with a critical eye understand and agree without coercion, and move towards progressive reforms the exact conditions under which the col- in the future. lectors were obtaining their items. During this time, Samuel Morton was conduct- Gurak is a member of the class of ing a craniological study that he believed 2016. 4 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 editorial

By Lily Baggott and Christina Argus is the oldest twice-weekly print- of the past iterations of the design, in- to advertising revenue. Jessie Loo ’14, The Argus has always been and Norris, Editors-in-Chief ed college newspaper—the new layout cluding the most recent. The current with the help of Cantrell, is in the pro- will always be devoted to providing was designed to reflect a classic style. editors-in-chief decided to discontinue cess of creating a seal designed for The its readers with information to which On Friday, Nov. 22, The Wesleyan The banner was simplified, the infobar the use of this seal because we feel it Argus to replace the University seal. the community has a right. We hope Argus launched a new design of its made more prominent, and the title is inconsistent with The Argus’ inde- In addition, Michelle Woodcock this design will serve to better reflect front page. was made to stretch the width of the pendence from the University; neither ’14 has rethought many interior as- the values of the paper for years to The Argus was founded in 1868 page. does the paper receive funding nor do pects of the paper throughout the come. Truly a student collaboration, and since then has provided the com- The new layout, designed by Alex student workers receive credit from semester. She updated these designs the design marks an important step in munity with journalism by and for Cantrell ’14, notably does not include the University. Instead, the paper is to reflect a more simple, classic, and the history of the paper, one that will the University community. Given the a University seal, which has appeared funded mostly by students through readable aesthetic and to increase the continue to serve future generations of paper’s rich history—The Wesleyan on the front page of The Argus in most the Student Activities Fee, in addition paper’s overall professionalism. readers. WSA Winter At-Large Election: Candidate Statements

Mikaela Reyes Simon Chen tive in making change. Student body. I hope I will have your provide my insight on key issues, Serving as a freshman rep- I’m Simon and I am running to 3. There is hope for this school to be- vote in this election. e.g.: resentative this fall allowed me to serve as one of your WSA representa- gin divesting, to raise more aware- • Diversity; explore the diversity of opinions tives. ness of key issues on campus, and Jake Lahut • Sustainability; through the WSA and personal in- My biggest issue with elections to promote a more affordable and Trans* student concerns, the • Equality of opportunity. teractions with the student body. I is that candidates are expected to inclusive environment. future of Westco, and the plight of We only get the best out- engaged in projects outside of my brainstorm elaborate lists of “issues” Your vote for me will allow me to the Sun workers were initially what come if we ask for the impossible committee and got involved in oth- and promise to work towards resolv- continue making the change we want brought me to running for the WSA. and think big - our ideas have to er aspects of Wesleyan life. I hope ing them. I do believe that there are to see. Thank you. More importantly, I’m interested in be several miles outside the box. to continue sharing my perspec- substantial administrative and campus the entire shared experience here at Simultaneously, we have to know tives to the assembly for the good issues that need to be addressed and David Schwartz Wesleyan. I continue to learn from my what we are fighting for. of the community. resolved, but I really want to focus 1. I promise to create a more person- professors and fellow students, and the First, we must define our As a representative, I hope my efforts on pushing for greater ef- able exchange between SJB/PSafe WSA will allow me to put what I’ve objectives. We can only chase our to follow through in strengthen- ficiency within the WSA. Rather than and the student body in order to learned into action. The big issues, like goals after we put a face to them. ing the community of the student pile more and more issues onto the foster mutual respect and under- need blind, are certainly daunting and Each one of you is aware of body. I was able to help promote agenda, I want to initiate larger policy standing. may not have a solution that we all what is most important to you. and fund student-run group activi- changes. 2. I will make sure all dorms are guar- like. However, just because there are Yet, regardless of how confident we ties. I hope to continue to do more Some of the largest issues that I anteed the option to vote on gender constraints on the University finan- are, we must keep questioning our- with the organizations within and see impacting the Wesleyan commu- neutral bathrooms. cially does not mean that we cannot selves - we must find the time and beyond our campus. As an organiz- nity are: 3. I will work to ensure RAs are as- have a say in how those constraints af- the courage to check our premises. er in student-led activities, I hope • The fragmentation of student signed to the dorm they requested. fect the students. As a freshman, I’m Is divesting more important to expand these events to the en- groups; I think, as a campus, we’ve 4. I will work to improve the food ser- eager to take on these challenges. I will than shareholder activism? Should tire student body. As an advocate of become too focused on differences vices at Usdan; often at peak hours also do my best to have patience with we stop demanding carbon-inten- extracurricular activities, I hope to between student group objectives to there are no cups or utensils avail- administrators and the students whom sive products? help these platforms of engagement engage in effective collaboration. able. I’m grateful for while trying to make To what extent are we com- grow. As a member of the student • The administrative perception of life here as good as it can be. mitted to self-reflection? How far body, I hope to gain more perspec- the student body; There have been Bruno Machiavelo Tinoco are we willing to go? tives and continue listening to what too many “preventative” measures Hi! I’m Bruno, and I currently Keyonne Session I give you an honest answer – you have to say. taken by the administration recent- sit on the WSA’s Student Affairs Hello Class of 2017. My name and there is more where that came Help me in continuing to pro- ly, limiting student activity for the Committee. is Keyonne Session and I want to rep- from! mote a great sense of community in sake of what may happen. • This semester on the WSA, I have: resent YOU as one of your class reps Wesleyan! A vote for me is a vote for a more • Established an institutional- for 2017. Serving on the WSA for the Jenna Starr impactful agenda and meaningful so- ized Wesleyan Alternative past half year I have worked on CoCo Hi! My name is Jenna Starr and Pat Keogh lutions. Spring Break program that helping to work with student groups I’m a member of the class of 2015. I spent this past semester as will be starting next semester. to help them strive for their ultimate I’m a really outgoing, approachable part of the WSA and SBC after Sara Dean • Worked with the University goals. I would like to be re-elected so person, and I promise to listen to being appointed, and I would like Hey, Wes! My name is Sara Dean, ResLife Committee to imple- I can help strengthen the community the needs of my fellow students. to that I’ve done a good job. Given I’m part of the Class of 2017, and I ment beneficial changes to the and continue my goal to help unite I’m running for the WSA because that my term is now up, I’d like to want to represent YOU on the WSA! I GRS system, New Student common groups to achieve their goal! I’m passionate, determined, and be elected so that I can do a better want to bring about the changes nec- Orientation, and the judicial I am here to make sure that our com- have lots of ideas to improve our job. I transferred here as a sopho- essary to ensure that Wesleyan is the role of RAs. munity is represented and understand school. One of my ideas is to have more, and so the sense of com- best home possible for every member • Worked with the Public Safety there is someone there with you in more campus-wide events. I think munity and values of the Wesleyan of our community. If elected, I prom- Review Committee to ensure mind first. it would be beneficial to have a sub- student body are of particular im- ise to work tirelessly to make the voices students’ rights with regards to Current Project: committee of WSA just dedicated portance to me. I hope to extend of all Wesleyan students heard in ad- Public Safety. • Collaborative Yearly Magazine of all to planning fun, stress-free, non- my time in student government ministrative policy. My specific goals • If re-elected, I will: Publications academic events (Maybe a campus- so that I can continue serving the include: • Fight to make the admission • School-Wide Cardinal Cheer wide foam party during the day?). Wesleyan community and the val- • Building an RA system with more process, especially financial Committee I’m continually impressed with ues it holds. On a more personal emphasis on honest guidance that’s aid, more transparent as a • I am here to make sure YOUR voice how driven the students at Wes note I like sandwiches, hockey, the not hindered by punitive discipline member of the Admission is heard! are, but I feel that there should be movie Men in Black, and rabble • Fostering a stronger sense of com- Committee. LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, more opportunities to take a break. rousing. munity, pride, and unity within • Work to establish and develop KEYONNE IS THERE The UCAB does a good job at put- individual classes by creating class Cardinal Connect as an orien- ting on events, but I feel like more Alice Lee events students actually WANT to tation program. Julio Angel could be done. I’m going to work Hi Wesleyan! My name is attend. • Represent the student perspec- Hey y’ all! I’m Julio Angel, hard to make sure changes are im- Alice Lee, and I’m a freshman • Being transparent and accessible to tive on issues such as the de- and I’m currently part of the WSA’s planted. Please vote for me. Thanks here at Wes. I haven’t been on the all students as a student representa- gendering of bathrooms, cam- Student Affairs Committee. for the support! WSA yet, but I am really passion- tive. I’m always open to conversa- pus drinking culture, custodial This semester: ate about being able to represent tion! labor and divestment. • Chair-ed the Fire Safety Committee Richard Fessler you, the student body. I want to If you have any questions about However, one of my main goals in which I: I have been a member of the make sure that everyone can enjoy what I stand for, or want to share ideas, is representing YOU, the Wesleyan • Worked with administra- WSA for one semester, and am cur- the feeling of membership in the feel free to email me at sdean@wesley- student. tors to update the Fire Safety rently focusing on reform to the community we’re in. I can person- an.edu Vote Bruno and have your voice Website in order to improve SJB system, including: ally attest that I initially had a hard Vote Sara Dean for 2014! heard! transparency. • Gathering student feedback on time at Wes, but I’ve found that • Improved the process of ap- what works and what doesn’t in I’ve come to love our school in all Sadasia McCutchen Isabel Linzer peals by working to increase the current system, its quirkiness and individualism, Hey Ladies and Gents! This fall I served on the WSA information students receive • Reforming the role RAs current- and that the amount of passion My name is Sadasia and I am as a member of the Student Budget regarding notification of viola- ly play as enforcers, here needs to be fully represented. hoping to represent you again for Committee. Next semester I am hop- tions, how to appeal, and fur- • Ensuring that our judicial sys- I hope to work with the WSA to: the Spring semester. I believe that as ing to do the same, and also to get in- ther contact information for tem is educational rather then • Develop and support diversity, a member of this class, it is my re- volved with research projects for the administrator. punitive, especially by reaching out to mi- sponsibility to represent and support Academic Affairs Committee. If I am • Conducted surveys regarding library • Better publicizing of process ad- norities my grade in the best way possible. reelected and given the opportunity to noise levels in order to designate ap- visors to help students navigate • Improve academic opportunities Wesleyan is a great school and com- do both of those things, I will better propriate noise levels for each level through the process when they and networking within and out- munity, but as with anything, things be able to represent the student body of all libraries. are written up side of Wes can always improve. Being on the as a whole, and not just represent and I hope you will reelect me to the Through my current work on • Make Wes more affordable and Student Assembly last semester has understand issues in a specific area. WSA and allow me to continue work- the WSA, I have also been work- sustainable taught me a lot and I am campaigning Electing a freshman to the WSA is a ing and fighting for YOU! ing on reform to the WestCo RA I promise that I will do my again because: responsible choice for Wesleyan’s fu- system, making GRS more user best to always be approachable and 1. I know that everyone’s voices can ture because I can ensure that impor- Carlos Gonçalves friendly, and accessibility issues on open so that you feel that you can be heard and equally represented by tant projects are pursued from year to OLÁ E BOM DIA! campus. come talk to me about (almost) the assembly and I want to continue year. I believe that I have the commit- I am Carlos Gonçalves, from If reelected, I will continue anything. Vote for me, Alice Lee! advocating for all of you, my peers. ment and the awareness that it takes Portugal, and I want to represent you! working hard to ensure these re- (If anything, because it rhymes) 2. I am a good listener and very proac- to continue representing the Wesleyan As an international student, I want to forms are implemented. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS 5 news Art History Department to CEAS: College To Introduce Minor Begin in Spring By Courtney Laermer “We hope in general that the mi- Staff Writer nor will further integrate art history into Continued from front page philosophy, but we haven’t been able to the liberal arts education,” said Kuenzli. offer anything like that. With the new fac- In response to a Wesleyan Student “Art history is one of the fields you usu- some new momentum,” Angle said. ulty resources and financial resources that Assembly (WSA) survey conducted in ally encounter in an academic setting “We saw this as an opportunity to re- are coming with this college, we hope and the previous school year, the Art History for the first time in college. Often stu- boot with what is turning out to be the expect that we’re going to be able to start Department has decided to offer an art dents encounter it on a whim, and often enthusiastic support of the administra- offering half-credit lab sections.” history minor that will tentatively begin then it is too late for them to declare the tion.” These lab sections would be addi- next semester. major. This is here to allow students to As per the original proposal, the tional class discussions held exclusively in According to the results of the take an interdisciplinary approach to department of Asian Languages and the language of origin of the material and survey, 25 students expressed interest humanities and allow art history to be Literatures will cease to exist; the pro- would allow students to study untrans- in art history but were not interested part of that.” fessors and classes will now be housed lated texts. in declaring it as a major. Art History The proposal discusses the purpos- in CEAS. In addition, Korean will be “The real payoff for all of us is to be Professor and Chair of the Department es behind creating the new minor. C/O WESLEYAN moved out of the Less Commonly able to read stuff that we couldn’t other- of Art and Art History Joseph Siry stat- “Our motivation for creating a mi- Art History Department Chair Taught Languages Program and into wise because it’s only available in Chinese, ed that the survey kickstarted the discus- nor is to reach students who discover art Joseph Siry supported the cre- the College. and [to] debate it in Chinese,” Angle said. sion of a minor. history later in their college career and/ ation of a new Art History minor. CEAS will officially begin in- “From my perspective, it’s great for faculty “[The survey] got us thinking or who would like to incorporate the struction at the beginning of the 2014- and for students. Being able to operate at about how [a minor] would be struc- study of artworks and architecture into eval, Renaissance/Baroque, modern, 2015 school year. Current juniors will that level of sophistication is both intrin- tured,” said Siry. “It would have to have their work in other disciplines,” the pro- and non-western—and one of the five remain in the East Asian Studies pro- sically just a blast, but it’s also practically a fewer number of courses than a major posal reads. courses must be a seminar. gram, while sophomores who declare speaking really good because it’s hard to and a slightly different set of require- The proposal also mentions that To avoid discrepancies between the the major at the end of the year will compete in a job market with people for ments.” establishing a minor provides an alter- Art History major and minor, no cours- automatically become students of whom it’s their native language.” The art history faculty held meet- native path for students to engage in art es numbered 401 or higher will count CEAS. Freshmen will have the op- Nanda believes that both of these ings in April and May and unanimously history courses. toward the minor, and the study of a portunity to apply for the college at changes will create interesting classes and voted to proceed with a minor. Meeting “Non-majors applying to graduate foreign language through the intermedi- the end of the 2013-2014 school year, opportunities for upperclassmen. again in September, the group approved school in the humanities or to jobs in ate level is not required. although it will not yet officially exist. “I think the lab is a really interest- the idea by a vote of 7-0-1. arts-related fields after graduation have Students who choose to complete Christopher Nanda ’16 plans to ing idea, and offering the higher level of “The current Art History major repeatedly expressed an interest in hav- this minor will not be required to have declare the East Asian Studies major in language is great,” Nanda said. “If you opt provides an excellent and rigorous sur- ing art history appear on their transcript an official minor adviser, but all of the the spring and believes that the three- out of the first or second year, and you vey of visual culture from both historical in ways that go beyond a mere listing of full-time members of the Art History year nature of the CEAS program will end up maxing out the current program, and stylistic points of view,” wrote Dean individual courses,” the proposal reads. faculty will take part in advising stu- not discourage students from the ma- I think there’s a danger of your language of the Arts and Humanities Andrew Siry added that there are several dents as needed. jor. ability stagnating. Anything that would Curran in an email to The Argus. “It students who are engaged in the subject “I think there is a general support “East Asian studies isn’t a major get a group of language speakers together is a very strong major. In my opinion, but have other interests and commit- among [students] and Art History facul- that a lot of people go and discover in and practicing in a lab setting or an even the new Art History minor will allow ments in their major fields. ty,” Kuenzli said. “Our main concern is college,” Nanda said. “It’s less likely higher classroom setting I think is really students majoring in other subjects— “The thought in our minds is that that it would take away from the major that people will just decide to take good.” but who nonetheless have a real interest it might fulfill an educational aim for and that our majors may downgrade to Chinese or Japanese on a whim and The new College will also include in art, design, painting, sculpture, and students who have some interest in art the minor. But in the end, we thought it decide they love it. Compared to other a five-credit minor that requires a sec- photography etc.—to move past taking history,” he said. might have the opposite effect. Instead, majors, I think a lot of people have an ond-year language proficiency. A critical a couple of classes in the department Curran added that this minor the minors might like it so much that idea that they want to pursue it as a distinction between the minor and the and undertake a more in-depth study of will attract students who enjoy art and they might upgrade to the major.” course of study. As long as there is an major is that native speakers of Chinese, the subject.” art history but have been unsure about The Art History Program will hold awareness that CEAS is an option, it Japanese, or Korean will not have to learn In order for the minor to gain what classes would be best to take. an open house in February to introduce shouldn’t be a problem.” an additional language to complete the approval, Associate Professor of Art In order to complete the minor, the minor to interested and prospective Angle noted that he hopes to use minor, while they do in order to major in History and Art History Program students will be required to take six students. the new structure and additional year CEAS. Director Katherine Kuenzli created a art history credits. These requirements “This new idea is to open a door of study to offer several distinct op- Angle explained that the minor is de- proposal to send to the Educational include the completion of a 100-level and create an option that seemed to be portunities. signed to extend the CEAS community to Policy Committee. The minor was ap- course, as well as five courses numbered in sustained demand,” Siry said. “We “We expect to be able to of- a broader group of students. proved on Nov. 18 and is currently be- 200 or above. The courses must include hope it will serve a good purpose edu- fer some new options for first-year “We want to have both the cohort ing sent to the Registrar. four of the five areas—classical, medi- cationally.” Chinese, [such as] an intensive course of the intensive major, but also this re- for students who have grown up ally broad group that are attracted to the speaking Chinese but don’t know how different sorts of lectures that we do, and to write it,” Angle said. “Currently, cultural events, and social events, and so CFA Accepts Unsolicited Grant they fit awkwardly in the normal first- on,” Angle said. “That very much should year Chinese class. By offering a course include folks from East Asia. So partly, By Matthew Shelley-Reade I think that this idea of teaching people development, technology, board and staff dedicated to heritage learners, they can by making the minor accessible in this Staff Writer how to perform curate performance, and retreats, convenings, and consultants. progress more quickly.” way—they’re still going to have to take five taking the arts and elevating it to this new Tatge commented on the importance of These classes would allow heri- classes—but we won’t make them learn The University’s Center for Fine place of learning and teaching is really the grant money for these services. tage learners to learn enough charac- another language.” Arts (CFA) recently received an unsolic- main reason that...we were selected.” “We can’t use the money for what- ters in one semester to skip a full year Although many decisions about the ited $400,000 national grant award from Roos-Brown elaborated on what ever we want to use it for; it has specific of study and enter into the second se- structure are still to be made, Angle is the Doris Duke Charitable Foundation, this grant means for the CFA. purposes,” Tatge said. “The important mester of the intermediate course. hopeful that it will allow both students an organization dedicated to supporting “For me, it was a wonderful valida- thing about a cash reserve is that it is Angle is hopeful that these pro- and faculty new opportunities. performance art. tion [of] the kind of work that we’ve been made to be a rainy [day] fund that you grams will allow more students to “It is not just about classes, but about CFA Director Pamela Tatge was ex- doing, that this kind of experimental always have, that you never sort of just achieve a higher language proficiency. cocurricular activities, extracurricular ac- cited to hear the news of the grant. nature in the arts on campuses is some- spend.” He stated that the College hopes to tivities, things that reach out across the “It was one of the more surreal mo- thing big funders value,” Roos-Brown In addition to the grant money, the create new opportunities for students campus,” Angle said. “Faculty at big, re- ments in my life,” Tatge said. “It was a said. “When you look at the number of CFA will receive an added bonus of finan- who reach this stage in their language search universities have courses with grad- wonderful moment where you can’t be- arts institutions in the country doing re- cial consultation from the Foundation. study. uate students that would potentially be in lieve it is actually happening.... It was a ally interesting stuff, the fact that they “[T]hey’re giving us funding to “We’ve got some really cool Japanese or Chinese, but I don’t know that wonderful surprise and it’s a very rare oc- only picked five—that’s just inspiring. bring the non-profit finance fund in to ideas for advanced classes in Chinese anybody at an undergraduate institution currence in the non-profit arts world to Knowing that we were the only univer- take a look at how we do our financial and Japanese,” Angle said. “We have is doing anything like what we’re talking receive this unsolicited grant.” sity of those gave us a lot of confidence to management and give us advice,” Tatge students who are past fourth-year about. I think that, for our students and The Foundation donated a total of keep plowing away.” said. “That’s terrific; that’s another piece Chinese, ready to actually take a class for our faculty, it’s going to be an exciting 3.5 million dollars to five different institu- However, the Foundation’s grant of the money we didn’t anticipate. And so in Chinese in history or literature or opportunity.” tions, including the American Repertory comes with some restrictions. Tatge for us—we’re a department in a large uni- Theater, the Oregon Shakespeare described the process by which the versity—it’s going to be really helpful to Festival, the Woolly Mammoth Theatre University will receive the grant money look at how we can manage things better Company, and On the Boards. The CFA over a period of up to four years. given the fact that we are an arts institu- was the only department within a univer- “We will go through a self-assess- tion working within a larger institutional sity to receive this award. ment,” Tatge said. “They will give us an bureaucracy.” CFA Program Manager Erinn Roos- assessment tool [with which] we will sur- President Michael Roth expressed Brown expanded on why the University vey ourselves and send the results to the his enthusiasm about the grant in a press was a special selection for this grant. consultant, who will then do a site visit release sent out by the CFA. “I really think it has a lot to do and then meet…with leadership as well “This exciting award really speaks to with...[the University’s] creative cam- as faculty, students, and staff. It’s designed the CFA’s tradition—40 years and count- pus initiative and within in [that], the to be helpful to us....What they’ll be look- ing—of building a community of creativ- ICPP [Institute for Curatorial Practice ing for is our organizational adaptability ity and experimentation,” Roth said in in Performance], given that there are no to change—that is what the program is the press release. “Under (Director) Pam other…higher education degrees based called—as well as our ability to continue Tatge’s leadership our Center for the Arts on performance curation in the United to innovate.” has found ways to engage an increasingly States,” Roos-Brown said. “It’s a really The CFA will spend the money in a diverse audience. An award like this also EKI RAMADAN/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER big undertaking and a really important variety of ways, including staff expansion, recognizes and supports Wesleyan’s ex- The College of East Asian Studies will be housed in the Mansfield one to elevate performance in the U.S.... creation of capital reserves, professional traordinary commitment to the arts.” Freeman Center for East Asian Studies. 6 • NEWS THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 Reddit Cofounder Visits, Talks Entrepreneurship By Madeleine Stern students and alums have truly strived to ly in Ohanian’s presentation. Staff Writer ‘make the world suck less’ [...]. I’ve per- “Life has no grades,” he said. “You sonally embraced many aspects of Alexis’ can experiment…. You’re allowed to Students and faculty gathered on ideology, which hold some crossover suck. Sucking at something is the first Thursday, Dec. 5 for a talk given by with the lean startup movement. We ab- step in being really good at something. Alexis Ohanian, co-founder of the popu- solutely embrace operating ‘without their And it’s not just business. It’s every- lar social news site Reddit. The talk was permission.’” thing.” sponsored by the Patricelli Center for Attendees of the event were able to The second part of the talk took the Social Entrepreneurship and the online submit questions for Ohanian in advance form of a conversation between Ohanian textbook exchange company Texts.com, via the Wesleyan subreddit, /r/Wesleyan, and Frank, who discussed their respective which was founded by Peter Frank ’12. but Ohanian did not address them dur- experiences with start-ups. Frank echoed “I sent Makaela Kingsley [Director ing his talk. Rather, he delivered an hour- Ohanian’s sentiments on entrepreneur- of the Patricelli Center for Social long presentation during which he dis- ship strategy and perseverance. Entrepreneurship] an email […] the cussed his experiences with and thoughts “The biggest thing…is just start same day Alexis posted his plans for the on the start-up business, the changing doing something,” Frank said. “It doesn’t tour,” Frank wrote in an email to The face of entrepreneurship, and the future matter how small or how janky it is…. Argus. “[I] explained that I’m a huge fan of the Internet. You’ll be in a better position than the of Reddit—I met my co-founder on /r/ “I’m here to talk about…how to people who only dreamed of doing some- NYCJobs [and] recruited my college rep be awesome without their permission,” thing.” team from /r/Entrepreneurs […]. We of- Ohanian said. “I think there’s so much Ohanian concurred with Frank and KATHY LEE/PHOTO EDITOR ten hear that Wesleyan students see the more to come from the people who are encouraged students to strive for their Ohanian discussed the Internet and entrepreneurship in his talk on world in a different way, and I think that designing the things that let us share the goals. Thursday, Dec. 5. harnessing technology gives us the abil- great ideas we want.” “We’re always hacking,” he said. ity to act on those insights and affect a Ohanian also highlighted the im- “We’re always in situations where we to take advantage of it. I will say this: it’s I thought it would be,” said Samira change with dramatically more power portance of the current generation in don’t know what we’re doing…. Don’t let probably mostly on you guys. But I re- Siddique ’15. “[As expected] he talked than playing by yesterday’s rules.” moving Internet entrepreneurship and ‘I don’t know what I’m doing’ stop you.” ally do hope that this will lead to better a lot about startups and entrepreneur- Ohanian is currently touring to activism forward. However, Ohanian cautioned the things—better businesses, better non- ship…. I didn’t get a book, though, promote his new book, “Without Their “The people in power, by and large, audience in his concluding remarks, ex- profits, even better politics.” which is kind of fucked up.” Permission: How the 21st Century Will don’t understand the Internet the way pressing the sentiment that the road will Ohanian’s presentation elicited a Gabe Rosenberg ’16 found the talk Be Made, Not Managed.” we do,” he said. “We are all creating the not always be easy. lukewarm reaction from the audience. somewhat lacking and was particularly “I think that the messages in Internet every day, and [in particular], “None of this wide-eyed future is The event was promoted as a lecture and concerned by some of the topics that [“Without Their Permission”] are totally those of us who can write code are liter- guaranteed,” he said. “The Internet is still book signing; however, not every student Ohanian omitted. relevant and important to the Wesleyan ally building the frontier under our feet.” not accessible to everyone. This technol- who attended received a book, which up- “[There are] a lot of general community,” Frank said. “Capped in one The importance of perseverance in ogy is world-changing, but it’s only going set some attendees. Internet- [and] citizen journalism-related sentence, across generations, Wesleyan entrepreneurship also figured prominent- to change the lives of those who are able “It was about as Internet-y as issues that weren’t addressed,” he said.

Introducing the new Editors-in-Chief:

Adam Keller and Miranda Katz FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS NEWS • 7 Pass/Fail Deadline Extended Senator Murphy By Sophie Zinser “This is for that student who gets tion will make it easier for students to Assistant News Editor a notification at 5 p.m. on a Friday that make decisions regarding planning so they were admitted into a course, with that they are not overwhelmed by the Shares ACCESS Act On Nov. 24, the Wesleyan zero context as to whether or not they end of the semester. should take it pass/fail,” Hutman said. “The goal is to decrease stress Student Assembly (WSA) announced out of control of colleges when it The WSA has been developing and to make sure that students end up By Michelle Li in its newsletter that the University Staff Writer comes to completion rate.” the resolution since the spring of last where they need to be in terms of their faculty approved a WSA resolution to Murphy predicted that the ac- year. AAC Chair Grant Tanenbaum ’15 courses,” Updegrove said. “All policies extend grading mode changes. The new At a time when American countability standards will largely spearheaded the passage of the resolu- surrounding course selection should be policy will give students an additional student loan debt has surpassed affect for-profit colleges and univer- tion and made it a prominent part of set up to do that, but they don’t always two weeks after the drop/add period $1 trillion, U.S. Senators Chris sities, which have a higher number of the AAC’s platform this semester. The succeed. This policy certainly would to decide between pass/fail grading Murphy of Connecticut and students defaulting on college loans original proposal for the resolution have helped me in past courses and options and graded modes of evalua- Brian Schatz of Hawaii are call- in comparison to non-profit col- was submitted to the WSA on May 13 hopefully will also make student expe- tion for courses that have the option. ing for reform in higher educa- leges. He stated that the legislation and suggested several different ideas re- riences better going forward.” This will mean that students can take a tion. On Wednesday, Dec. 4, would not have a large effect on pri- garding ways to change grading mode. Philosophy and College of Letters course for nearly a month before decid- Murphy briefed college report- vate non-profit institutions and ac- The AAC approved the proposal in Professor Tushar Irani noted a potential ing to change the grading mode. The ers within the state in a press knowledged that the tuition at such October and sent the resolution to the disadvantage in extending the drop/ policy change will be effective begin- conference call, during which he institutions, including Wesleyan and Educational Policy Committee (EPC) add period for larger classes. ning during the Spring 2014 semester. discussed the Affordable College its peer institutions, are high, but for approval. The EPC is a standing “As a professor within the COL, The WSA adopted “Resolution Costs Empower Student Success commended the financial aid op- committee comprised of Tanenbaum, where students take most of their X.35: Resolution Supporting the (ACCESS) Act of 2013, a bill to portunities provided to grant better AAC Vice Chair Nicole Brenner ’15, classes pass/fail, I don’t think that stu- Extension of Grading Mode Changes” combat the rising cost of college access to middle- and lower-income and several members of the faculty. dents preform less well than they do on Oct. 6. The resolution emphasizes tuition. Murphy and Schatz will institutions. Once the EPC approved the resolution, when they are taking a course for a the fact that during the drop/add pe- introduce the bill next week in “There would be no standard it was presented and deliberated upon grade,” Irani said. “However, it might riod, student schedules are undefined Washington, D.C. that the bill can have that Wesleyan at a monthly meeting of the faculty. be a problem for large lecture classes in and change quickly depending on “College affordability is the wouldn’t be able to meet,” Murphy The proceedings of these meetings are which students are already less engaged course availability. It also suggests that middle class issue of this genera- said. “The benefit to a school like kept strictly confidential to maintain with the material. If to do the reading an increased flexibility in selecting tion, and federal policy in higher Wesleyan, who has thought of a three the privacy of the students and faculty means to get a good grade, then with- grading mode might alleviate student education can’t simply begin and year program, would come from in- involved. out a grade, there might no longer be stress, allowing students to make bet- end with a debate over the inter- centive funding from the federal gov- Though according to Tanenbaum an incentive to do the reading.” ter decisions regarding scheduling. est rate that students are paying ernment.” only about 13 to 17 percent of courses WSA Outreach and External Furthermore, the resolution suggests on loans,” Murphy said. At the University, the acceler- are available for student option, he Affairs Committee Chair Jacob that giving students extra time to de- Murphy pointed to the high ated three-year option, which allows hopes that this resolution will alleviate Musinsky ’15 said that this resolu- cide whether to take a course pass/ cost and rate increase of college students to complete their credits and some of the stress that students experi- tion, along with those passed by Wes, fail might improve student success in tuition as access barriers to higher major and graduate in three years, is ence during the hectic drop/add period. Divest! and the United Student Labor courses and lead to a decrease in with- education. The youngest member endorsed by President Michael Roth “The proposal was written be- Coalition (USLAC) earlier this year drawal rates from courses. of the Senate, Murphy discussed as a method to create greater access cause this seemed to be an unneces- ,are examples of how students who are WSA Academic Affairs his personal experience with the to students. sarily restrictive policy that Wesleyan committed to enacting policy changes Committee (AAC) member Rebecca costs of higher education. “We are trying to make educa- had,” said Tanenbaum. “It neither can use the WSA as a resource. Hutman ’17 noted that classes tend “I am one of the few mem- tion more affordable,” Roth wrote in helped professors nor students nor the “Anyone can come to us and write to increase in difficulty as the semester bers of Congress still paying back an email to The Argus. “[The three- administration to have only two weeks a resolution,” Musinsky said. “I wish progresses. The addition of two weeks my student loans, and I am saving year option] can save families about to decide how they wanted to take a more people knew they could do that. of class time before the deadline for up for my kids’ college [tuitions],” 20 percent off the cost of a Wesleyan course. This new policy will give stu- We passed both the Wes, Divest! and deciding the grading mode will give Murphy said. “A good portion of degree, and we are keeping tuition dents more freedom about what kind USLAC resolutions, and they both had students a better sense of the rigor of our income comes to paying past increases in line with inflation. We of choices they want to make for their concrete effects. If someone has a prob- the course. Hutman also emphasized and future college loans.” hope to offer more opportunities for personal schedules.” lem with something that’s happening that with the current deadline, students The ACCESS Act seeks low income students and veterans in WSA President Nicole Updegrove on campus, they should come to the who are not certain of their enrollment to address the issues of access the coming years.” ’14 also approved of the resolution, WSA and we can all try to get a resolu- in a course might not have enough time and affordability by rewarding Jessica Seidman ’16 is currently stating that she agrees that the resolu- tion passed.” to decide on a grading mode. schools that develop programs on track to graduate in three years to lower the cost and reduce the and reported an overall positive expe- time for completion of a degree. rience with her decision. These could include offering on- “[The three year program] puts SJB: Students Found line courses, competency-based more pressure on you in terms of degrees, dual-enrollment pro- managing requirements and expecta- grams, and accelerated degrees. tions,” Seidman said. “But it definite- Currently, institutions seeking ly is worth it, and if you’re motivated Responsible for Removing to implement alternative mod- enough, you will be able to make the els of higher education must ac- most of your college experience.” quire waivers from the Education Yet not all students at the Restroom Signs in Usdan Department on an individual ba- University agree with the direction sis. The ACCESS Act will allow of changes in higher education sup- institutions to clear those hurdles ported by Murphy and Roth: the ac- Continued from front page rules, because Scott Backer can make essential as using the bathroom,” the more easily. celerated three-year option has faced up the rules on the spot.” petition reads. “We ask that you stop In addition to encouraging criticism as well as praise. will be convened to review that evi- Due to the short span of time the SJB process that singles out a institutions to adopt competency- “If making education more af- dence.” between the divulgence of this infor- handful of students for an action that based and accelerated degree pro- fordable means squeezing it into Eversley and Levin’s youngist. mation and the publication of this ar- was taken by many as a means of sur- grams, the bill will hold institu- shorter intervals and with an end-goal com statement argued that these ticle, Backer could not be reached in vival. Instead of blaming the victims tions accountable for delivering of molding students to be ‘prepared three students were targeted for their time for comment. of oppression, Wesleyan must engage quality education through the for the workforce,’ then it’s time visibility in the LGBTQ community The students facing the sanc- in a dialogue about cisgender privi- creation of a system of standards to reevaluate our priorities,” Evan on campus. Eversley elaborated on tions were unaware that its outcome lege and begin to do the painful but of affordability, access, and value Bieder ’15 wrote in an email to The this claim. would be publicized. necessary work of creating a campus to low- and middle-income stu- Argus. “If Murphy and Roth’s views “[T]hree students who were also “I was holding off on being too that is just and safe for all.” dents. It calls for the creation of on education are followed through three gender non-conforming people, vocal about what the sentence was be- Pointing to this support from a panel of students, education completely, what’s stopping institu- they clearly were the people who were cause I wanted to think about it,” the alumni and to outreach from other experts, and other stakeholders to tions of higher education from being targeted and profiled,” she said. “I same student said. “I wanted to think activists in response to the youngist. measure student outcomes with stratified by class to an even greater think another word to use is profil- about it before I said anything to any- com statement, Eversley noted the tuition affordability. Institutions extent than they already are? If we ing. We talk about racial profiling a one about it.” importance of the matter. must satisfy minimum standards continue on this trend, before long lot, and in a way it’s kind of like queer Whaley clarified the role of the “[T]rans*-activism and gender for affordability and student poor students’ only option will be profiling.” SJB in this situation. activism [aren’t] going to end here, graduation rates to remain eli- 1-2 years of highly intensive, work- One of the three students who “As part of their responsibili- and because of the actions of people gible for federal funding such as place-applicable schooling while only were sanctioned by the SJB expressed ties, the SJB is responsible for de- who decided to degender, this action Pell Grants and Stafford Loans. wealthy students enjoy the luxuries of a similar sentiment. termining whether students violate is going to be made larger and has al- Murphy predicted the account- a 4 year liberal arts experience.” “The ongoing thing throughout the provisions of Wesleyan’s Code of ready reached other people,” she said. ability portion of the bill will be Murphy explained that the leg- the case was that it was trans*phobic,” Non-Academic Conduct,” Whaley “...[H]opefully this is the moment controversial yet crucial. islation is not aimed at replacing the the student said. wrote. “The Board does not strive to where activism can go beyond just “A lot of schools aren’t going traditional undergraduate experience According to Eversley, who determine the legitimacy of a protest/ Wesleyan.” to like the fact that they aren’t go- competency- and assessment-based waited with approximately 20 to action, only whether such protest/ac- Levin similarly noted that the ing to [automatically receive fed- degrees, but at opening up the option 40 students in the North College tion is done in a manner that violates hearing and sanctions by no means eral aid],” Murphy said. “We can’t of accelerated education for students lobby while the hearing took place, our community’s standards.” mark the end of trans* activism on accept the status quo.” who wish to enter the workforce early Associate Dean of Students Scott The action surrounding the de- campus. Murphy recognized, how- or are unable to afford the traditional Backer was present at the hearing. gendering of bathrooms and the SJB “The trial is unfortunate in the ever, that no one standard for ac- experience. “[That] to my understanding is hearing led alumni to circulate a peti- sense of its trans*phobic persecu- countability can be universally ap- Higher education reform has atypical because usually you only have tion calling for the University not to tion, but fortunate in the sense that plied to all institutions. As such, garnered much attention as Congress the students on the SJB board in the punish the students accused of being it’s been able to be a rallying point,” the legislation will devise different gears up to debate the reauthorization room at the same time,” Eversley said. involved. As of Thursday afternoon, he said. “In any case, it’s one step in standards to be applied to differ- of the Higher Education Act, which “Not only was Scott Backer there, but the petition had been signed by over this longer process, and I think that ent institutions. governs federal student aid. Murphy he also intervened several times in the three hundred alumni. all of this action and attention has re- “There are different types does not believe the ACCESS Act trial, so he was an active participant “We demand that the ally put the administration in a posi- of students walking through the will pass as a standalone bill, but in the SJB trial…. Obviously it’s dif- Administration ensure that trans stu- tion where they have to start acting door at Yale than at Gateway sees the opportunity to introduce its ficult to react and defend yourself in dents feel safe on campus, especially on making at least more bathrooms... Community College,” he said. components to the renewed Higher that situation where there just are no when engaged in an act as basic and all-gender.” “There are some factors...that are Education Act. 8 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 features

there was one day that I came into school and I had shaved my legs for WesCeleb: a show that I was in, and everyone ALMA SANCHEZ-EPPLER was freaking out. And that’s when I understood that I had a reputation Abbey Francis A: And you also did an opera last year, pretty lonely, but the work is good. I always been very adamantly indepen- as someone that doesn’t shave. And Executive Editor right? like it; it’s a tradeoff I’m happy to live dent. And it’s never served me as well it was strange to know that that was ASE: Oh yeah, I wrote that too, I with. as I could be served by collaborating so important to how people see me. I’ve known Alma Sanchez- guess. Golly. That was through the Of the 30 songs, there were nine with people. Next semester, I’m focus- So I think of clothing as a per- Eppler from afar since freshman faculty production last spring. That that I felt really worked together in ing on music, so hopefully that will formance. Because I don’t feel par- year, when she was this impossi- was Peony Pavilion. I was dramaturge telling the story of my observations necessitate that I do collaborate more ticularly female, so getting dressed bly intriguing person transplant- for that production, which basically and experiences around the Occupy and do create more of those ties and in the morning is often an act of ed from Western Massachusetts means I did historical research for it. movement. Not just celebrating the connections to other people. I’m afraid getting into drag, no matter what into 200 Church. We became But it’s an ancient Chinese opera, so movement but really trying to compli- of other people because I don’t under- I’m wearing. I feel most like my- friends two years ago in 202 it’s 20 hours long, and they needed cate it. stand them very well. Which is fine, self when I’m naked. So clothing Washington, where I could often someone to adapt it, and I was there, So then over the summer I was and exciting. is always sort of an imposition. But hear her earthy, soulful singing so I did. I heard [people say] it was living at home at my parent’s house, After the summer of festivals, since I’m aware of that imposition, voice coming through the door beautiful. But I don’t know if that’s a and I made a little tiny recording stu- we’ll see what happens. I might hang I might as well have fun with it. of her room on the ground floor. compliment or not. dio in my basement and recorded my out in Philadelphia. I kind of think of it as a I mentioned to her months ago album. It’s just me and my guitar, and Brechtian device in some ways. To that I wanted to interview her as A: Why do you not think that’s a com- it’s pretty terrible quality, but I like lis- A: Why Philly? make people aware of the perfor- a WesCeleb—after all, she’s men- pliment? tening to it. ASE: Um, Quakers. It’s been really mativity of my gender. tioned in the pages of The Argus ASE: I think that, [while I was] adapt- hard being at college and so separated approximately every other week ing something that is so foreign and A: Talk a bit about your political activ- from my religious community. And A: Like, excessively female, or ludi- for her work with USLAC and so often othered into a western college ism: you’re very involved in the United I know that’s something that’s really crously female? the music and theater scenes on campus setting, I wanted the piece to Student-Labor Action Coalition hard for people for whom religious ASE: Right, it’s like a parody of campus—but we finally got the be more cognizant of that appropria- [USLAC]. communities are really important. femininity. Which is the most I can chance to sit down this week on a tion. But the cognizance came really ASE: It gets harder, and it gets easier. And the Quaker world is one where say for my gender identity. But re- misty, chilly Thursday afternoon. just from the awkwardness of western Basically, I’ve found myself in a posi- there is more support for the work that ally it’s just like, the clothes I have Alma came to meet me in Usdan bodies and untrained bodies perform- tion, often, where I feel like I’m filling I hope to do. So either I’ll be doing happen to be very weird. So, at wearing neon yellow jeans and ing in a quasi-Chinese operatic form. in the gaps that other people can’t. And volunteer service work, maybe for an this point, these are the clothes I a red blouse embroidered with So a lot of the commentary became the I know that’s often a place where “lead- organization that’s doing anti-racism have, and I wake up and grab some songbirds and flowers over a tur- form that the play took place in, rather ership” can exist, in picking up the work. That’s the political work that things and put them on. But some quoise cowl-neck top. As always than the content of the script, which I slack that other people can’t take on. I’m most excited about right now, and days I do put on [what I call] “high with Alma, however, her clothes think was good. I think for the rest of my life. I think drag.” were not nearly as surprising as I always want to revise my work, A: I feel like you’re often the face of this is the one. what she had to say. and I’m always kind of saddened that USLAC on campus. A: What question do you wish I in the context of college, there’s such ASE: Yeah, it’s interesting, because I’ve A: So, you said that people know you would ask you? The Argus: So, I’m going to ask a push forward, and we have to do really tried not to be. But especially because of your bright colors. I feel ASE: I always want to talk more the question everybody asks: Why things so quickly. I really would love around things like labor activism where like, in some ways, your clothes signify about whiteness. Just because this do you think you should be a to take the time with it and recognize there’s so much jargon, I just happen you in a way that they don’t for a lot is a platform, and I recognize that. WesCeleb? my mistakes. Especially in terms of to know so much about how the custo- of people. I’m running a student forum next Alma Sanchez-Eppler: I think appropriation and utilizations of my dial contract works at Wesleyan. And ASE: One of the things that I dislike semester about bias awareness and everyone should be a WesCeleb; privilege that I wasn’t aware of the first as much as I lecture about that, the uncomfortably is the fashion industry. learning self-love. I feel that, from a everyone is in their own way. But time around. I could always go deeper information transfer isn’t immediate. white perspective, things that drive I think it’s probably because I wear in those directions. But this year, recruiting-wise, we did A: What does that mean? the perpetuation of racist and sexist bright colors. You probably saw me But I think that “beautiful” is a amazingly. We have an amazing group ASE: I’m such a pluralist person that and ableist and gender-normalist around campus. word that is often used in the context of underclassmen. I’m very happy most of the time to let systems are about an inability to of exotifying and othering Chinese everyone do their own thing. But the love oneself and to listen to oneself A: So what do you do on campus? “museum pieces,” so [the idea] that my A: I feel like something that is so key to fashion industry bothers me. I’m un- and to trust. Walking around the ASE: On campus, I’m involved in work was part of that is a little uncom- my understanding and my love of you comfortable because I don’t want to world and noticing the ways that I labor activism and theater and mu- fortable for me. as a human being is that, more than be someone who doesn’t want to let am biased has allowed me to make sic. And…friends. Oh, and poetry, anybody I know, you put your heart everyone do what they want to do, be- the room I need to not keep doing I guess. But mostly I hang out in A: Tell me more about your musical and soul and emotion into everything cause I think a diversity of experiences those things. Making that space is my room and make things. work. You put out an album this sum- you do. are important, but I don’t like to think an act of self-love for me. mer? ASE: There isn’t enough time in the about appearance very much. But I never want to prefer- A: What is your favorite thing that ASE: I did. Basically, last winter, about world for me to spend any of it do- ence my ideas over other people’s. you’ve made recently? a year ago, it became evident to me ing things that I don’t need to do. And A: But you do cultivate a style. Which is complicated as a very ASE: I’m working on a play that that music, particularly writing lyrics, that’s a pretty selfish attitude. And it’s a ASE: I went to a [performing arts] opinionated person. But it also I wrote that’s going up the first or is just the thing that I feel most compe- pretty incredible privilege that I have, high school where a lot of people wore feels true. second week of next semester. I’ve tent at. It’s when I feel most eloquent. being able to survive having that at- kind of kooky things. I don’t shave heavily revised the script of that And I became confident enough in my titude. The way that I explain this to my legs, and I never really have. But This interview was edited for length. and started the rehearsal process work on guitar that I was able to call myself is that everything I love in the with the cast, so that’s really excit- myself a musician, which was a very world, except for nature, exists because ing, and I have high hopes for it. big deal for me. And then, very shortly somebody committed to an idea with It’s called “They Extract.” after that, I lost the ability to play gui- everything that they had. So if I don’t tar. We’re still not sure what it is, but treat my ideas with the same kind of A: Can you tell me what it’s about? my wrists are very weak and sore and reverence, I’m never going to make ASE: It’s a very physical piece and don’t let me play music very much. So anything worthwhile. And I’ve kind involves original musical compo- I haven’t been able to write very much of resigned myself to being an artist sitions by me. It’s a very poetic since last year. But what’s come out of at this point. My brain doesn’t really piece.... I don’t know, it’s a very that is really being able to focus on the work other ways. “Alma” kind of play. It’s just kind songs that I wrote before and really of out there and visually pensive. being able to focus on complicating A: So speaking of resigning yourself the musical structures and rhythms of to being an artist, what do you think A: This is at least the second those pieces. you’ll do after graduation? piece that you’ve put up so far at I was lucky because I had written ASE: Next summer I’m going to try Wesleyan, correct? a lot before that point. I had written to travel around and gig at different ASE: Yes, sophomore spring I put over 30 songs from the summer before festivals. And if my wrists aren’t healed up another show that I had writ- sophomore year to winter junior year. yet, then I’ll try to get people to come ten, which was much more realist. It kind of became this ridiculous com- with me. And that’s been one of the “They Extract” is futuristic: it’s set pulsion for me. And I’m a pretty com- blessings of having this different abil- about 500 years from now in a… pulsive person; when I’m in a creative ity in my hands, is having the need different world. grind, I can’t do other things. And it’s to collaborate. Since I was a kid, I’ve ARIELLA AXELBANK/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Wednesday Dec. 11 The Patricelli Cener’s class, “Money and “Money and Social 6-7 p.m. Social Change,” donated $10,000 to four local charities this semester. There will be a recep- Zelnick Pavillion tion to meet the local organizations and learn Change” Reception Dinner will be served. more about their work. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS features • 9 Woodshop Offers Infinite Jest: Beyond Endurance

By Emma Davis dependence prior to his checking into proach to race relations. Moreover, since Cutting Edge Assistant Food Editor Ennet House, the recovery program where our professor, Salvatore Scibona, was also he eventually befriends Orin’s former lover experiencing the book for the first time, When I started “Infinite Jest,” I and James Incandenza’s muse, Joelle van we were treated to his own exclamations By Rebecca Brill increasingly safer space since its reloca- had absolutely no idea what I was in for. Dyne. These, however, are just a few of over the text, which often referenced Assistant Features Editor tion in 1999. The shop’s current loca- The only David Foster Wallace piece I’d the threads that intertwine to form the Freudian developmental psychology but tion used to be used for ceramics, a ever encountered was an excerpt from book’s seemingly disjointed yet meticu- were occasionally as blunt as “What the Next semester’s art studio curricu- craft no longer taught at Wesleyan. At “The Pale King” in the The New Yorker. lously crafted plot, which weaves together fuck?!” lum is chock full of drawing, architecture, that time, the woodworking tools were From it, I had developed the expectation different segments of time and different Because “Infinite Jest” was the most sculpture, printmaking, and photography stored in the sculpture studio, a hazard- that Wallace only wrote about Internal perspectives to create a richly textured contemporary of the novels we read as a classes, but you won’t find any woodwork- ous arrangement not only because of Revenue Service employees in somewhat portrayal of the futuristic world. class, the other two being “Middlemarch” ing or furniture-making courses listed in crowdedness but also because supplies dry, futuristic prose. Although the details of the dystopia by George Eliot and “Independent People” the course catalog. Still, those eager to for the two activities are not designed to Fortunately, when I jumped into can be overwhelming at times, most of the by Halldór Laxness, it was certainly one of hone Ron Swanson-worthy technical skills be stored together. Ten Eyck is surprised, “Infinite Jest” as part of my “Three Big book’s setting quirks can be tolerated and the easiest to relate to as college students, need not feel disappointed. The visual for instance, that the plaster from the Novels” course this fall, every single one even appreciated as they become more fa- and one that inspired some of our deep- arts classes offered present students with sculpture shop did not rust the wood- of my preconceptions was turned on miliar to the reader. For example, instead est and most philosophical conversations. plenty of opportunities (and often even re- working tools. its head. “Infinite Jest,” first of all, has of using Arabic numerals, Wallace refers Questions posed included “Can you think quire them) to become closely acquainted Since its occupation of the for- nothing to do with the IRS. Set in a to each year based on the corporation that with your body?” and “Can we exist with- with the cutting-edge tools housed in the mer ceramics shop, the woodshop has dystopian, hyper-commercialized ver- the government has allowed to sponsor it out self?”, the exploration of which both Wesleyan Woodshop. acquired tools that emphasize safety. A sion of the United States commonly (the years before the sponsorship system captivated and brought us closer as a class. Tucked away in the center of the spray booth, a power-ventilated hood, known as O.N.A.N. (Organization of are known as “Unspecified Time”). This If you do persevere, and persevere CFA at 105 Art Studio South, the shop prevents paint fumes from contaminat- North American Nations) since sign- means that most of the book’s action takes you should, in reading “Infinite Jest,” you stores top-grade appliances including ing the air. A SawStop table saw uses ing a treaty of interdependence with place during the Year of the Dependent will be treated to a wildly entertaining, and band saws, machines that cut wood into electrical current-based technology to Mexico and Canada, the book follows Adult Undergarment, which is in real- at times deeply moving, examination of straight and circular pieces; a drill press, a sense when a finger is touching the 17-year-old lexical and tennis prodigy ity sometime in the early 2000s. By this competitive youth tennis and drug addic- tool bolted to the ground that is used for blade. If a person comes into contact Hal Incandenza and 29-year-old recov- time, Canada has absorbed the United tion, combined with a prolonged ode to drilling holes; and an air compressor, a de- with the blade while it is in motion, a ering oral narcotics addict Don Gately. States’ radioactive dumping ground (the the city of Boston and a political satire so vice used to power a nail gun. brake pushes the blade away. The two lead distant but interconnected “Convexity” or “Concavity,” depending biting you’ll be concerned for the future of Assignments for a variety of art stu- The only downside to this technol- lives in a tennis academy and a halfway on which side you’re looking from) and our government. And, if that’s not enough dio courses entail the use of tools in the ogy is that it renders the blade unusable house, respectively, on the same hillside. most of New England has been lost to of an incentive, you’ll also have the curious woodshop. Painting II students, for exam- once the brake is employed. Replacing When the story opens, Hal’s father, nuclear waste. experience of hearing the advent of video ple, saw wood to build stretchers for their the blade costs over $100. But for Ten James O. Incandenza, an alcoholic auteur Despite these departures from real- chatting predicted and described by an au- canvases. Students taking a class called Eyck, whose father, a carpenter, recently of experimentalist “cartridges”(similar to ity, Wallace’s style is gorgeously hyper- thor firmly anchored in the 1990s. “Alternative Printmaking: Beginning lost part of his finger to a saw blade, the VHS tapes) and the founder of Enfield realistic, unwilling to shy away from the It’s not often that I recommend a Japanese Woodblock Technique” must guarantee of protection is worth the Tennis Academy, which Hal currently literal piss and shit of day-to-day life while book so unabashedly, particularly one as carve blocks to create woodcuts with cost. attends, has been dead for five years but displaying an emotional sensitivity that is eccentric as this, but there’s so little to be which they later create ink prints. “That’s better than the trauma of has left a web of intrigue behind him. almost unparalleled among modern nov- lost in comparison to what you’ll gain in Architecture students frequently use the someone getting a serious injury or the Incandenza’s family, consisting elists. Though it’s easy to dismiss his writ- the process of reading it. If you consider laser cutter, a machine that carves into ma- cost of reattaching a finger,” she said. of his wife, Avril Incandenza, Hal, and ing as obsessive and dense based on the the time we devote on a daily basis to more terials like wood, paper, and Plexiglas, to “So I sleep better at night since we got Hal’s two older brothers (critically de- 388 endnotes and the overall length of the mindless activities—checking Facebook; create models. this, because it is very real. It’s when formed but eternally cheery Mario and book, he takes brilliant risks and manages marking promotional emails for the Seniors working on art studio the- you’re pushing into a blade that bad football star Orin), is still struggling to to live up to the grandiosity of his own spam folder; contemplating, then decid- ses might use several tools in the shop for things happen.” make sense of his suicide. Meanwhile, title, disguising but not obscuring the ex- ing against texting a person—it seems far their projects, which vary widely. It is not Ten Eyck began her woodwork- terrorist cells seeking Quebec’s separa- hilarating honesty of his narrative with a more worthwhile to allot at least some of unusual for students to stay at the shop as ing career as a child, when she learned tion from Canada are distributing a fa- wonderfully ironic wit. it to “Infinite Jest,” which, contrary to late as midnight. to use tools like band saws from her tal cartridge of Incandenza’s called “the The unusual subject matter and popular belief, can be ingested in bite-size It can be easy to get caught up in the father. She received a BFA in sculpture Entertainment.” wrenching sincerity of “Infinite Jest” servings. excitement of working with fancy gadgets, from the Rhode Island School of Design Gately’s experiences, on the other made it a particularly compelling book So, whenever you next feel like mak- but at the woodshop, safety comes first. and, later, an MFA in printmaking from hand, serve as a microcosm for the to discuss in class, provoking debates over ing space for a 1,000-page book in your Kate Ten Eyck, who has served as Art Hartford Art School. This semester, Boston AA community, beginning with topics as wide-ranging as the significance heart or luggage, give it a try, and be pre- Studio Technician since October 2000, she taught printmaking in the place of his criminal past and descent into total of powdered milk and the narrator’s ap- pared for one hell of a ride. trains art students in shop safety rules Professor David Schorr, who is on sab- before allowing them to use the tools. batical. Next semester, she will teach During training sessions, she reviews the Drawing I. proper use of each tool and stresses the Because space in the woodshop importance of wearing protective gear like is restricted, Ten Eyck has no plans to E&ES: Students Brainstorm goggles. add new tools to the space. However, Ten Eyck, who also oversees the students should expect to see new signs sculpture studio, printmaking, and pho- next semester reiterating safety rules. Ten tography equipment, as well as general Eyck also hopes to better publicize the Sustainability Ideas health and safety issues in the art depart- wood storage cage located in the shop, ment, supervises the shop four hours a which has a sign that reads, “Take what Continued from front page Sustainability Coordinator Jen things happening on campus that students day from her office. She relies on student you want, drop what you don’t need,” Kleindienst has worked with students to don’t know about or are misinformed monitors, who are art studio majors with and contains free cycle art supplies. On centralized locations. Then we would refine their ideas for the “Introduction about,” she said. “That’s something I’ve expert knowledge of fire safety and wood- Tuesday, its contents ranged from a par- collect them and bring them to Usdan to Environmental Studies” final project. been working on: getting the most ac- working tools, to keep tabs on students tially used gallon of glue to a small mir- or Summerfields to wash.” Though she agrees that it can be challeng- curate and up-to-date information on working in the shop. ror. Because they realize the possibil- ing to balance the ideas of the faculty, staff, the website. I’ve had four or five students Virgil Taylor ’15 works as a student Supplies are certainly not all that is ity of people picking up mugs but not and students, she stressed that she and her asking about trying to reduce water usage monitor during the Sunday night shift, shared at the woodshop. Since the space returning them to the centralized bins, colleagues value student involvement in for their projects, especially in dorms, by one of the busiest times at the shop. His is one of the only locations in the art de- Max and Elliott are also interested in sustainability issues. replacing the showerheads with low-flow main responsibilities include reiterating partment not designated to a particular partnering with the Eco To-Go pro- “The more input we have from stu- showerheads. That’s something we did safety rules, reminding students to clean concentration of the art studio major, gram that Summerfields runs. Each dents, the better the results will be,” she years ago. I’m sure it made the news when up after themselves, and familiarizing the woodshop serves as a center of cre- member of Eco To-Go has a card they said. “We want students to have a hand it happened, but then nobody continued students new to the shop with the equip- ativity manifested in different forms of must hand in every time they get a con- in making Wesleyan a more sustain- to publicize it. We need to let students ment. artwork. tainer. Likewise, Max and Elliott have able place, and one of the big ways that know that we’ve done this, and it’s saved “Basically, in order for the wood- “The woodshop is kind of this considered a system in which students I’m hoping to get students involved in a ton of water.” shop to be open at night, someone has to interesting place where painting stu- would be required to exchange a card in this spring is working on rewriting the Going forward, Elliott and Max be there to make sure no one kills them- dents will come and build structures, order to receive a mug. The duo antici- Sustainability Action Plan. We’re trying to are excited about their project regard- selves,” Taylor said. “So we’re there to make architecture students will come and use pates that the latter system would result get together a smaller group of students, less of whether it is one of the five or 10 sure that everyone is wearing safety goggles the cutter, sculpture students will come in fewer lost items. faculty, and staff to work on the research that Royer will choose to submit to the and being careful with the different saws and build structures for their projects,” “It would probably make more part and then on writing it. It’s a plan that Sustainability Office. and drills and also assisting people if they Taylor said. “It’s interesting because you sense to do the card system, because will set guidelines about how Wesleyan “We’ve done way more research than are doing something that they’re worried see a lot of different things happen- then you could combine Eco To-Go will move towards carbon neutrality.” we needed to and definitely want to look about in terms of helping them with ideas ing inside the woodshop and then, of and your mug all on one card,” Elliott Royer explained that the University into implementing it either way,” Elliott for how to construct something. It’s not a course, all the thesis students are doing said. is serious about its pledge to achieve car- said. “By starting really small and making high-skill job, but it’s a necessary one.” all their separate things.” Elliott’s enthusiasm for the mug- bon neutrality by 2050. sure that every little bit of [the] system Generally, Ten Eyck and the student Since students are working on vast- sharing program stems in part from “In 2007, we signed onto the works, it’ll take a long time. We’ve realized monitors intervene quickly enough when ly different projects at any given time, frustration with what she sees as the American College and University that the idea is complicated, with a lot of they encounter safety hazards that prevent the woodshop has become a hub, or as University’s half-hearted approach to Presidents’ Commitment on climate moving parts that take a long time to fig- students from injuring themselves and Elmer calls it, “a hothouse,” for creativ- sustainability. change,” he said. “The main reason the ure out. It’s not so simple as, ‘Here are a those around them. However, last month, ity. Art students seek not only inspira- “The issue of single-use cups is Green Fund started was to achieve what bunch of mugs; let’s do it.’” the woodshop saw its first major injury in tion but also artistic guidance from peers something I’m passionate about,” she we set out to do. As humans, you pick the Royer agrees that moving toward a several years when, according to Student working at the shop. said. “I’m especially frustrated with low-hanging fruit. I’m involved with the more sustainable future is far from simple, Monitor Nathaniel Elmer ’14, a fatigued “People bring in things, and you Wesleyan because it’s not as sustain- energy sub-committee, and we’re com- but he hopes that students won’t be de- student hurt herself badly by misusing a get to see the process, and that’s really able as it claims to be. Even the people ing to a close for the easy stuff. We have terred from trying to effect change. tool. great, especially for thesis kids,” he said. who manage Pi have no idea if you can to start thinking beyond that. Getting all “I encourage them to be their own “She was tired and she was on the “We have all our own studios, our own recycle or compost the cups. Why are the way to zero will require some tough advocates,” he said. “Just because we band saw and she just moved her hand a space to work, but we all converge there we spending all this money on things choices.” don’t choose a project doesn’t mean it’s little too close and wasn’t paying attention with tools. That’s our center, our node if we don’t know what the next step of Kleindienst emphasized the need for not worth pursuing. Even if you don’t and cut it,” Elmer said. “She had to go to of interaction amongst each other, and their cycle is? People who control these communication among faculty, staff, and recognize it now, these three or four years the hospital.” that’s totally valuable, because you get resources have no idea what the implica- students about these choices. you spend in college are the easiest to get Still, the woodshop has become an critique on your work.” tions of the resource use is.” “I’ve realized that there are a lot of things like this accomplished.” 10 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 ROVING REPORTER What are you most looking forward

to after finals? By Emma Davis ’17

“Going back home to Berkeley and seeing all my “Sleep.” “Going home and being able to drive myself to friends.” Ben Romero ’16 Trader Joe’s.” Ava Miller-Lewis ’17 Carolyn Dundes ’17

“Going to Washington, D.C. for an organizing “I don’t really have an after-finals period, because “Going to a klezmer festival up in the Catskills — conference, then going to an event in New York. my last final is Saturday, and then I fly home.... a solid week of music and jam sessions up until Also going to L.A. for four days at the end of Just getting on break.” four in the morning. It’s a much better reason to break.” Dylan Nelson ’15 stay up late.” Danny Blinderman ’14 Matthew Stein ’16

“Going home to see my dog.” “Getting to sleep in my own bed, once again.” “Sleep.” Joseph Eusebio ’17 Julia Zachary ’17 Martin Malabanan ’16

“Chilling like a villain at home; learning music.” “Seeing my sister for the first time in seven “Going back home.” Jamie Jung ’16 years.” Vanessa Chen ’16 Opraha Miles ’14 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS 11 WEEK OF ARTS

ARIELLA AXELBANK/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER ARIELLA AXELBANK/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

Top: Second Stage produces the second production ever of the musical “Broadcast” this weekend.

Right: Winter Dance showcases student-choreographed work in the CFA this weekend.

Bottom Left: The cast of “Next to Normal” gave an emotional performance in the ’92 before Thanksgiving break.

ARIELLA AXELBANK/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

ANDREW RIBNER/FOOD EDITOR

ANDREW RIBNER/FOOD EDITOR

ANDREW RIBNER/FOOD EDITOR ANDREW RIBNER/FOOD EDITOR ANDREW RIBNER/FOOD EDITOR 12 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6. 2013 arts Looking Back: The Year’s Best Music By Dan Fuchs style of music, and it draws on inspira- both artists’ catalogs. Whether biting My Bloody Valentine. But if this is how Vampire Weekend: Modern Vampires of Arts Editor tions ranging from Brian Eno’s ambient political commentary wrapped in slick they want to leave us, it’s a hell of a way the City drone to Tom Waits’ fuzzy growl to Nick funk on “Viceroy’s Row” or bleak, po- to go out. It’s pretty rare for there to be an album If you can believe it, it’s already Cave’s ferocious snarl. etic prophecies delivered on “Come the that eclipses all other releases. This year is December, and as people prepare for But, because of this, it’s also an ex- Meantimes,” this is an album that isn’t The National: Trouble Will Find an exception, and Modern Vampires of the finals and the holidays, pop-culture ob- hausting listen, never letting the listener afraid to pull punches, a collection filled Me City is that album. Contra was great, and sessives (myself included) look back at settle emotionally. For each moment with anger and grandiosity. This is more “If I stay here,” growls The their debut produced some of the funkiest the year that was. For music, 2013 was of darkness, like “Casino Lisboa” or than just recommended listening for fans National’s Matt Berninger on their pop singles in recent memory, but Modern a watershed moment, filled with block- “Aurevioir Mon Visage,” there is a mo- of Costello or Questlove and company: newest LP, Trouble Will Find Me. Vampires of the City feels like so much buster releases and indie breakouts. But ment of extreme beauty, like “Love Is the this is a powerful celebration of the past This kind of depressive forlornness more. Perhaps the band’s mission state- it was also a year of unparalleled qual- Devil.” Does Hungtai find his way back 40 years of music. has characterized this band in the ment. Dropping the bright afropop influ- ity. It’s difficult to narrow down an en- home at the end of this globe-trotting al- thirteen year’s they’ve been on the ences for a darker sound, this is an album tire year’s worth of music into only five bum? It’s hard to say. But maybe that’s My Bloody Valentine: m b v scene. Yet Trouble Will Find Me, the filled with moments of folkie energy and releases. Nonetheless, if there are five the point of it all: the beauty never comes 22 years is a long time to wait for band’s sixth album, feels larger and ambient noise, and Sgt.Pepper-era harpsi- albums from the year to hear, these are from the destination. It comes from the an album. Hell, the five years that I more versatile than the rest of their chords and revving guitars, each moment them: five sets of moving, powerful songs journey. spent waiting for this album were long efforts. Whether the dirge of “This more exciting than the last. from masters of their craft. enough. Thankfully, Kevin Shields and is the Last Time” or the rush of “Sea Yet it’s the songwriting that truly Elvis Costello & The Roots: Wise Up Bilinda Butcher haven’t lost a step in that of Love” or the isolation of “Hard to makes this an album for the ages: here, Dirty Beaches: Drifters/Love Is the Ghost time, and with mbv, they’ve delivered a Find,” The National is branching out, Ezra Koenig embraces his inner poet, Devil I confess, I’m biased: Elvis Costello breathtaking new set of tracks that ulti- expanding itself in style and scope. crafting lyrics that demand close listening. Dirty Beaches’ Alex Hungtai is and The Roots were two of the first acts mately picks up where their last album, The depression’s still there (it “Unbelievers” prepares for the apocalypse, a nomad. In interviews, he describes that I ever truly loved. But this collabora- Loveless, left off. The base of the group wouldn’t be a National album with- “Diane Young” for death, “Ya Hey” for sal- his childhood as adrift, moving from tion is more than just a jam session and is still there: Butcher’s saccharine vocals out it), but it feels shared, less insular. vation. But “Step” is the crown jewel, a tale country to country. Drifters/Love Is the absolutely more than just a cash-grab. It’s and Shields’ wailing guitar and thick Berninger’s narratives are all first-per- of life at a crossroads, filled with paradox- Devil, then, is an album that constantly a fully formed piece of work that takes walls of sound are better than ever here. son (the album opens with “I Should es: insecurity and confidence, nostalgia, shifts its own locations: from “Belgrade” the best of two titanic acts—Costello’s But there’s something newer, something Live In Salt,” for example), but the and foresight. It’s this song that cements to “Alone At the Danube River,” from acerbic wit and the Roots’ unparalleled freer about this album, a sense of gran- “I” here feels more interchangeable Modern Vampires of the City as more a “Night Walk” to a “Greyhound At musical craftsmanship—and melds deur and openness that makes this album with “you.” Maybe, after over a de- than just a great album but an album that Night.” It’s exciting and kinetic, never them into a sharp, funky collection of a slower, more captivating listen. It’s dif- cade, he’s not singing alone. Finally, will stand the test of time and, perhaps, sitting still and never settling on one tracks that rank amongst the best of ficult to tell if this is the last we’ll hear of he’s singing to us. prove to be this band’s mark on music.

ALL PHOTOS C/O STEREOGUM.COM From Lovers to Princesses to Warriors: Movies To Keep You Warm This Winter By Ali Jamali comes a movie that will leave you troversial due to its extended scenes “Tangled.” But it didn’t work out, de- word. Staff Writer speechless. Last week, “Blue Is the of explicit sex, but I call this movie a spite its lovely characters and its col- “The Hunger Games” was a ma- Warmest Color” convinced me that piece of art that rarely happens. “Blue orful world. It lacked something that jor success, and the sequels were im- The Wesleyan campus can be movies can still cross boundaries and Is the Warmest Color” is the phenom- Disney was known for: the music. mediately planned. Since the movie a lonely place over Thanksgiving offer more than just entertainment. enon that must be welcomed with “Frozen” is the dream that no- became a box office beast, I was wor- break. Not many people are around, “Blue Is the Warmest Color” in- open arms to keep more of its kind body believed would happen. Call ried that the producers’ hunger for and the bleakness of winter starts to troduces us to a young high school coming. “Frozen” a Disney Broadway show be- cash would make them abuse the set in. I stayed warm and entertained girl named Adele who unexpectedly cause it will take you back in time to technology and sacrifice the storyline throughout the break by visiting falls for a college girl named Emma. “Frozen” the days of “Under the Sea” and “Part to gimmicks like 3D and over the top Metro Movies three times to see some We follow her journey through the Once upon a time, there was a of Your World.” CGI. After watching the new sequel of the hottest movies out right now. path of finding who she is and who company named Disney that gave Anna (voiced by Kristen Bell) “The Hunger Games: Catching Fire,” Whether you’re looking for a way to she wants to be. What makes this life to imaginations. For years, the and Elsa (voiced by Idina Menzel) are I can put all my worries aside and start procrastinate during finals week or movie so special is that it doesn’t fol- world was amazed by the masterpiec- the two princesses of Arendelle. Long counting down for the next movie in already planning how to spend the low the rules of the romance genre. It es Disney made, such as “The Lion story short, Elsa runs away to the the series. extremely long winter break, here are tries to define a new modern meaning King” and “The Little Mermaid.” mountains and builds a castle for her- “Catching Fire” takes off in three movies that you can’t miss. for love, and it accomplishes its goal But no one remains on the throne self without knowing that she cast an District 12 after the events of the first without a single flaw. forever, and Disney was not an excep- eternal winter on the whole kingdom. movie. Katniss Everdeen and Peeta “Blue Is the Warmest Color” “Blue Is the Warmest Color” is tion. Pixar took the lead with movies Anna, feeling guilty and responsible Mellark, the champions of the 74th Some movies will manage to more than a movie. You will not be that mixed philosophy with anima- for the winter, goes after Elsa to return annual Hunger Games, get ready to entertain you for a night or two, the viewer watching the screen. You tion. “Wall-E” and “Up” were univer- summer to Arandelle. start their victory tour just before the but some will hit you like lightning. will be the invisible camera follow- sally acclaimed, and each topped the “Frozen” may not be as mean- 75th Hunger Games. However, as Inspiration is harder to find when it ing Adele, and you will lose yourself charts with impressing figures. While ingful as “Wall-E,” but it satisfies uprisings start to form across the na- comes to movies these days, as block- to the world in which she desperately distributing Pixar’s films, Disney’s in- what you might expect from a Disney tion, unexpected events lead Katniss busters looking for nothing but box searches for the truth that may be her house output fell behind. animation. The winter theme will to once again play in the deadly office success dominate the film in- only shot at finding peace. However, Disney did not give make it one of the top choices for a Hunger Games, now consisting of dustry. But every now and then, there Some may call this movie con- up and made a comeback with family holiday movie for the years to larger threats and more experienced come. Don’t miss the chance to watch contestants. “Frozen,” and be ready for some inter- “Catching Fire” can be divided esting plot twists that make this movie into two sections: one that focuses safe from falling into the cliché trap. on Katniss and the events of the vic- tory tour and one filled with action “The Hunger Games: Catching scenes that will pin you to your seats. Fire” The CGI never feels overused or gim- When it comes to book adap- micky; in fact, it is the exact amount tations, making movies can be chal- that this movie needs to present its lenging. The films can satisfy but not full potential. Jennifer Lawrence, who be quite loyal to the book, like the plays Katniss, brings her best acting Harry Potter series, or it can be nei- since “The Silver Linings Playbook,” ther, like the Twilight saga. It rarely and she is no doubt the best fit for her happens that an adaptation turns out strong and fierce character. to be stellar. However, last year, “The Whether you have already read Hunger Games” proved us wrong: its the books or not, “Catching Fire” brilliant cinematography and unique will undoubtedly surprise you with directing makes the viewer feel as if its dark humor, drama, and inspiring C/O STUDIOSYSTEMNEWS.COM C/O SKWIGLY.CO.UK C/O /CATCHINGFIREMOVIENEWS.COM they are reading the book word by characters. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, THE WESLEYAN ARGUS arts • 13 Zwickel ’14 Directs Second-Ever “Broadcast” Production By Hazem Fahmy sitting around a table with their iPhones, tunities. Staff Writer and all that started with the radio.” “It’s interesting to see how the in- While this powerful social commen- vention of the radio can be made so par- Second Stage never shies away tary is reason enough to see the show, it is allel to the invention of the Internet,” he from unorthodox productions, and not the only major incentive. “Broadcast” said. “Broadcast,” showing in the ’92 Theater was originally written in 2003 by Nathan One of the musical directors, Mary this weekend, is bound to continue this Christensen and has only been fully pro- Foster ’14, expressed equal excitement for fantastic tradition. A period musical re- duced once. While working at the pow- the production due to the musical na- volving around the invention of the radio erhouse Eugene O’Neill Theater over ture that gives it the capacity to provide a and its impact on society, “Broadcast” the summer, Zwickel personally met and more powerful voice to the issues at hand. aims to be in many ways a unique worked with the “Broadcast” creators, “Musicals are great in the way songs Wesleyan theatrical experience. who were thrilled to give her the rights provide a way for the actors to convey Upon speaking to Director Dylan to the show. their message beyond just speaking,” Zwickel ’14, who is a theater major, it be- “I think it’s gonna really go places, Foster said. “Never really done anything came very clear that this production will and we’re gonna have this honor of be- like it. [It’s] new territory and it’s mostly be far from the average musical. ing one of its very first production[s].” based on historical facts so it’s been fun to “It doesn’t have big dance numbers, Zwickel said. learn about the time period.” and it’s not your typical ‘jazz-hands’ mu- Zwickel’s relationship with the writ- Zwickel believes that although it is sical,” Zwickel said. “It’s so much more ers and their excitement for the produc- a historical piece, it is nonetheless impor- meaningful.” tion left the show in an advantageous tant to our generation. While nowadays the radio appears position that most collegiate shows could “Even though it’s a different time to be a topic most of us would be some- only dream of. For example, the compos- period, you’ll watch it and think that what detached from, Zwickel revealed er came to campus for a full day to work you’re living this,” she said. “Now it’s just that it is extremely relevant to modern with the actors. They produced new or- phones rather than radios, but the issues society. chestrations, which have never been per- are the same.” “This show does an amazing job of formed and were specifically written for Second Stage seems determined to presenting the pros and cons of technol- the performers’ vocal ranges. go out this season with a bang, and one ogy and its impact on our lives,” Zwickel “The writers are even coming on can comfortably say that “Broadcast,” the said. “It doesn’t just take a side. It really Saturday so they’ll be able to see first- last production of the semester, is not a presents both sides and kind of leaves you hand how they can improve on the show to be missed. to draw your own conclusions in a really show,” Zwickel said. “Broadcast” goes up in the ’92 exciting way, because we’re still struggling Cast member Jacob Feder ’15 ex- Theater this Friday at 9 p.m. and this with how to implement technology into plained how he and the other actors were Saturday at 8 p.m. Tickets are available at ARIELLA AXELBANK/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER our lives. We’re all familiar with everyone similarly excited for these unique oppor- the Usdan Box Office. “Broadcast” is the last Second Stage production of the semester. Family Frenzy to Hit Campus Stage Next Semester By Gwendolyn Rosen draft. The actors are going to start put- what the show was going to turn into, then I’m ultimately picking one of this fairly intensive process, working Arts Editor ting voice to text, reading it out loud, he came in…with such a clear con- those, not saying “this is the way it with our lovely ensemble. I’m excited and we’re going to spend the first week cept. That was what made me be like, should be” but “this is the way I’m go- to see what comes out of it and how Coz Deicke ’15 has stormed doing some intense workshopping. alright, I can just go along with it. ing to try it now.” I feel like if I was di- significantly things will change from through the Wesleyan theater scene And then taking that written work at recting a play, it wouldn’t be one time. I my initial read. throughout the past five semesters. the end and then rehearsing…. A: Where do you hope to go up? did “About Face,” and if I was going to CD: I have to say that I’ve found that He’s tackled palindromes and homi- CD: The ’92. I feel pretty good about do that same script right now, I think I things change more than you expect cidal beauty queens in his past direc- A: You took a similar writing approach getting it. I’ll know soon enough. I would go way differently. I would have them to. Like you think that you’re torial endeavors, but next semester he to the show you wrote and directed think I have a good design team. made it way more surreal.... I would only going to change a little bit, and hopes to dramatize a much more relat- last spring, “About Face.” Is there any- have tried a different vision, essentially, then you end up writing something able theme: family. “Family Frenzy” (a thing you’re hoping to change this time A: Who are some of the members of as I’ve shifted as a person. completely different. The process is so working title) is Deicke’s latest project, around? your design team? key; a good process makes the whole which he plans to write this winter CD: I think that I could have written CD: Cicily Gruber [’15] is doing light- A: Do any of you have any advice for production worth it. break based on interviews about fam- more challenging characters for the ac- ing design. She’s great; she has tons of other Wesleyan playwrights? MT: I would say this sort of unconven- ily with his four starring actors: Jessica tors, for sure. And I think that some of experience. Anders Dohlman [’15] is CD: Yeah, I do. [To MT] Do you have tional process is good for a stage man- Cummings ’17, William Dubbs ’14, my dialogue could have been a little bit doing set design. He recently designed advice for Wesleyan playwrights? ager. I think as a stage manager, you Emma Hagemann ’17, and Ava Kikut stronger, and I think that’s just true as a a fantastic set for “Next to Normal,” MT: No, I want your advice. sometimes don’t feel artistic ownership ’17. Through a true Wesleyan theater developing writer. I think as you devel- actually. Tawni Stoop [’15] will be do- CD: Oh yes. I think the thing about over the play. You feel ownership over connection love story, May Treuhaft- op as a writer, you get a better and bet- ing props. She actually is the props writing is that a lot of people don’t all the technical elements, but you Ali ’17 and Maya Herbsman ’17 have ter sense of what you want to say, what master, props secret samurai. And I think they’re writers. I think it’s a very don’t really feel invested in the ideas jumped on board the project as stage you want your characters to say. I think have Alexa De la Cruz [’16] doing cos- funny thing, because I think that if and the magic that is happening on managers. The team sat down with the I was very good at sub-textualizing and tumes. And I will be sound designing. you start writing, you become a writ- stage, which is problematic, for me at Argus to talk about writing techniques, knowing what I meant, but some of er. And if you start writing again and least, because if you’re not invested in theater experiences, and who is really my word choice probably could have A: What do you think are some of the again, your writing gets better. It’s just the artistry of it then why are you do- in charge (hint: it may not be the di- been stronger….I really hope that I advantages to directing something that kind of how it works. I don’t think you ing theater? So I feel like because we’re rector). can create the same kind of ensemble is your own work? need to necessarily take a ton of writ- more involved in the workshopping feel that I had with that show. I’m also CD: Well it is a double-edged sword. ing courses.... There’s no other way to process and the collaboration and the The Argus: What’s one thing that each kind of excited to break up a little bit I think that in terms of developing, in it other than writing and embracing artistic part of it, that’s a good way to of you find interesting about families? of the writing and the acting. With both, one can rely on the other for me. what you think and the ideas you have reconcile that for me. May Treuhaft-Ali: [The concept of] “About Face” it was kind of ongoing; One of my stage managers here is also and putting them down on paper and nature versus nurture, and how people the writing was shifting, and we were a director and playwright, May, and being open to criticism and getting CD: Can I interject something here? are really products of their parents’ rehearsing kind of together. This time when we first spoke I thought it was your work workshopped and working A: Go for it. strengths and weaknesses. it’s a little more separated, doing that very interesting, she said to me that she hard on it and moving forward and CD: I’d really like to speak about my Maya Herbsman: Secrets within fami- workshopping first really intensively. doesn’t like to direct her own plays. She trying again. And I think it’s also what stage managers. I just think that in lies, and the way that those come to likes to write her own work and have you want to get out of it. terms of collaboration, I’ve always light, particularly as children of a next A: As stage managers, were you ner- it directed by other people, and direct been really interested in having stage generation get older. And even not, vous to come on board to a show that other people’s work. And I thought it A: What do you see as being the ulti- managers who I felt like could have a even when things just sort of pop out hadn’t been written yet? was very interesting because I’m con- mate success of “Family Frenzy?” hand in some other parts of the pro- of the blue, and it totally rocks the en- MT: I think it’s sort of difficult when stantly interpreting my own work and CD: I really want people to come in, cess, not just the technical aspects of tire family. people ask you, “So what is this play reinterpreting and shifting it. So I and I want them to sit down, and I the production and some of the or- Coz Deicke: Conflict, and how you that you’re working on?” And you’re think it’s very different. want them to watch this play. And I ganizational aspects. And I think that handle conflict from families. The like…Family Frenzy?... I think right MT: I think that I’m constantly rein- want them to be engaged; I want them with these two, they both have direct- huge obstacle when characters have now we don’t really know what our terpreting my work too, but in hav- to be like, O.K., I’m following this ing experience. May has a lot of writ- that family factor in dealing with an job entails. Like we do know what ing someone else direct a play that plot, that’s interesting. And I want ing experience, which I think will be enemy of a kind, perhaps. it entails because we talked about it I’ve written helps me to reinterpret it. them to laugh a few times. And then I good at the beginning and will be eas- with Coz, but I don’t know. When I Because, you know, I’m only going to want them to clap, and be excited, and ier to split between them. And Maya A: Coz, how are you approaching this got my script for “The Seagull” I was have one vision for it. And knowing congratulate me, but when they walk has much more acting experience... It’s writing process? like, guess we’re dealing with some fake that a director can take a play that I out of the theater I want them to be nice to see that they have slightly dif- CD: I’m going to interview these ac- blood; guess that’s a thing we’re going wrote and have a completely different thinking about their own family. And ferent feels and they’re able to kind of tors these last two weeks, kind of hear- to do…. I don’t know what’s going to vision is reaffirming for me because it I want them to be questioning some of step in. It was really great discovering ing their stories, hearing their skills, be required from me in terms of the means that the play has multiple mean- their relationships and seeing if they’ve them. They both did these One Day the roles that will challenge them, specifics of the show. ings and is complex. Like if a play only been hiding behind a word. I think it’s Plays, and I just thought that their thinking about what kind of role I’m MH: I agree, and I feel like what bal- means what I intend it to mean, then very easy to say “family” as this blanket direction was really good. I was really going to craft that will make sense the anced that for me was from the very it has limited meaning. statement you throw over this group impressed with what Maya did with most for them. And then I’ll be spend- beginning of me being involved in this CD: Obviously our philosophies are of people; it’s like this universal wool my own and what May did with Will ing the beginning of winter just kind project, Coz was just like, “I got this. different. For me, I think that when pulled over your eyes. And I want Dubbs [’14’s play]. I’ve never had two of thinking about how I want to ar- Like I don’t know exactly what I’m do- I do a play, I explore many different them to start thinking about those re- stage managers before. range the characters into this family… ing, but I know what I’m doing.” ways, and I’m trying different things lationships, and I want them to think and what I’m interested with them [CD laughs] and going different ways with the text about how family is unique. Family Frenzy will be performed character- and conflict-wise and devel- MH: He just very much started off and I’m discovering. I feel like I’m get- MH: I’m really excited for the process. next semester, pending the acceptance oping the plot. And then I’m going to with being very confident and very ting that of watching a performance I haven’t done a process like this be- of the show’s application through start writing towards the end of winter firm, and despite not knowing exactly again and again because I’m constantly fore, and that’s what I’m most excited Second Stage. break. I’m going to come back with a how the script and the intricacies of seeing it change in front of me. But for really. Just sort of going through This interview was edited for length. 14 • arts THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6. 2013 “Next to Normal” Sets New THE IDIOT BOX Standard for College Musicals “Spongebob Squarepants” By Alyssa Domino Contributing Writer

Let’s kick back to the late ’90s for a second: back when PB&J and gushers in a brown bag were the top-pick for lunch every day, when 3 p.m. marked the start time of neighborhood capture the flag, and when all of life’s problems could be solved by escaping to our favorite pine- apple under the sea. Season one of “Spongebob Squarepants” opens with our beloved French narrator zooming into Bikini Bottom for a 30-sec- ond introduction to what became one of the most memorable animated shows to ever grace television. Though we ’90s babies recall “Spongebob” as the show that always left us begging Mom to let us watch just one more, the animated com- edy has made its mark upon other audiences as well. Marine biologist Stephen Hillenburg began developing the idea for the show in 1984, and he finally released the season one premiere episode in 1999. Originally planned to be “Spongeboy, Ahoy!” the show quickly gained critical ac- claim. It has been nominated for 16 Annie Awards (winning six) and 15 Emmys (winning one). It has even found relevance in the science world, as a species of mushroom discovered in 2011 was named spongiforma squarepantsii, after the main character of the show. Though the little yellow sponge and his underwater friends are al- most always included in conversation while reminiscing over childhood throwbacks (among other classics like Shrinky-Dinks, Kraft Macaroni and the Nickelodeon show “Doug”), one could say that appreciation for them has been largely abandoned as their favorite traditional viewers be- ANDREW RIBNER/FOOD EDITOR gin rounding their way into adulthood. I’d say the best way to say three Michael Linden ’15, Tess Jonas ’15, and Liam Tram ’17 explore the troubled mind of Diana Goodman in cheers to the faithful pal is to resurface some of, what I dub to be, the “Next to Normal.” most classic quotes from the most classic episodes.

By Coz Deicke for her son, Gabe, when Dan stops her was the glue that held the entire per- “Help Wanted” Staff Writer and reminds her that her son died 16 formance together. Jonas brought This was the very first episode of “Spongebob” ever. It begins with years ago. As someone unfamiliar with great chemistry to her interactions Spongebob waking up to apply for a job at the Krusty Krab. On his way Can’t stop yourself from seeing the production, I was flabbergasted to with each member of the ensemble over, he almost chickens out, but his best bud Patrick steps in to save the rock musicals tackling mental illness learn that Gabe had been imagined and gave the musical that crucial fam- day with a pep talk for the ages. and the disintegration of the “nor- by Diana the whole time and thought ily feeling. Patrick: “Whose first words were, may I take your order?” mal” family suburban life? Then you McCallion pulled off the twist amaz- Jonas allowed the audience to Spongebob: “Mine were.” likely witnessed Second Stage’s recent ingly well. understand Diana by portraying her as Patrick: “Who made a spatula out of toothpicks and woodchips?” production of “Next to Normal,” the I was enthralled by watching someone relatable who struggles with Spongebob: “I did!” Pulitzer-prize winning musical writ- Gabe battle with Dan for Diana’s mental illness instead of a stereotyped Patrick: “Who’s...who’s a big yellow cube with holes???” ten by Brian Yorkey and Tom Kitt acknowledgement and affection crazy person, showing her impressive Spongebob: “I AM!” and staged by director Sarah Corey throughout the song, “You Don’t versatility by portraying a character When you’re feeling incapable, YouTube-ing some Patrick pump up ’15. Before our Thanksgiving Break, Know.” Diana’s struggle between the who is constantly undergoing ever- speeches is a safe bet to get your head back in the game. “Next to Normal” gave many audi- real and unreal is delightfully compli- changing treatments and medications ence members a powerful reminder cated by the physical embodiment of in addition to having emotions that “Band Geeks” to be thankful for the relative stability her delusion on stage, which makes turn on a dime. In an impressive group This episode is a classic in that every favorite character has a mo- of their own families. It also made me the audience either sympathize with of vocalists, Jonas shone through with ment to display his stripes. It opens with Squidward playing the clarinet thankful for my introduction to this Gabe or view him as the dastardly an- technique, vocal range, and power and then his doorbell ringing. fantastic musical. This was a produc- tagonist. So while McCallion’s singing that elevated the lyrics and gave them Animal Rescue: “Hi, we’re from animal rescue and heard there’s a tion focused on executing tech and was on point throughout the produc- sensational emotional depth. Diana is dying animal on the premises.” powerful acting as well as near-flawless tion, and his pre-reveal portrayal of the focal character of the show, and Later, during band practice, when Squidward asks if anyone in the singing. Gabe was well executed, I felt he could Jonas’ stamina allowed her to be en- band has ever played an instrument before, Patrick responds by asking, Upon entering the theater, I was have made a bigger choice with Gabe’s gaging and dynamic throughout and “Is Mayonnaise an instrument?” struck by how the set was structured. character once we knew he was a fig- to smack the audience in the face with Sandy shows off her guns, Plankton gets to be just a little bit devi- Set designer Cara Sunberg ’15 and ment of Diana’s imagination. rock sung at its best. ous, and Spongebob saves the day by getting the band together to pre- master carpenter Anders Dohlman ’15 Eventually, with Diana not get- The technical aspects of the pro- pare a fantastic number for the ugly fish at the Bubble Bowl. did a fantastic job creating an elabo- ting any better, Dan reluctantly con- duction were very well done, with rate set intertwining multiple rooms vinces her to forget her son by taking lighting expert Rachel Leicher ’15 of the Goodman home that allowed on electroconvulsive therapy. Linden doing a great job of illuminating a for dynamic staging. The pit orches- continued the trend of phenomenal multi-faceted set, props, and cos- tra, led by their killer musical director, singing within the production and tumes fitting perfectly with the con- Marc Whittington ’14, was seated be- played the intention of his character temporary work. Despite a few minor Arts Calendar hind a room of the house, successfully very believably, allowing the audience grumbles, sound came through clearly enhancing the music’s significance to to feel the weight of a collapsing fam- (which has often been an obstacle for the production. There was a surreal- ily falling onto his shoulders. Despite Second Stage musicals). The pit or- Friday, Dec. 6 Saturday, Dec. 7 ism to the design as well: colors were a consistent performance, Linden chestra was fantastic throughout, and oddly shifted and walls had tattered grappled with bringing nuance to the considering the amazing caliber of the Slender James and Broadcast edges, and all of this left the impres- role that brought it outside of the un- singing as well, Whittington deserves Notably Sharp ’92 Theater, 9 p.m. sion that something was off in the happily married father archetype. a lot of credit for his contribution to Memorial Chapel, 6 p.m. world we were about to see unfold. Diana returns home and has lost the production. Although this isn’t a Winter Dance Concert The show opened with a pow- nearly two decades of her memory. big song-and-dance type musical, the West African 2013: renderings of erful number, “Just Another Day,” Under the stress of her mother’s is- choreography brought by Miranda Drumming CFA Stage, 8 p.m., $4 in which we were introduced to the sues, Natalie begins sabotaging her Orbach ’15 really strengthened cer- family dynamics of the main charac- relationship with Henry, slacking off tain numbers, notably “Catch Me I’m Crowell Concert Hall, ters. Paul McCallion ’15 played Gabe, at school, and taking an increased Falling.” 7 p.m. Sunday Dec. 8 the rebellious teenage son; Michael amount of drugs. While I am both- Yet ultimately, Corey deserves the Linden ’15 played Dan, the father ered writing-wise with the “good girl” credit for bringing this musical to life. Punchline Presents: Worlds of Dance Concert trying to hold his family together; character whose boyfriend goes from This was a work she has long had a Christmas Attack Zone Crowell Concert Hall, Beanie Feldstein ’15 played Natalie, smoking weed to using much harder personal connection with, and when Alpha Delt, 8 p.m. the daughter sick of her family’s prob- drugs, Feldstein portrayed the charac- she wasn’t given the rights to direct it 2 p.m. lems; and Tess Jonas ’15 starred as ter believably and removed all feeling last semester, she wasn’t discouraged. Diana, the mother who ends the song of cliché. Feldstein wears her musical When she was given another chance Winter Dance Concert Monday, Dec. 9 acting hysterical, making sandwiches theater experience on her sleeve, deliv- this semester, she nailed the execution. 2013: renderings of on the floor. This song about everyday ering perfect singing (and love ballads She casted perfectly, considering both CFA Stage, 8 p.m., $4 New Works by Graduate life, which starkly ends with the main with Chiumento), strong one-liners, vocal and acting talent; elicited im- character broken down, set the tone emotional depth, and a well-rounded pressive work from talented designers; Student Composers Broadcast CFA Hall, 8 p.m. for this awesomely unhinged musical. character. Feldstein worked well off and coordinated musicians and chore- ’92 Theater, 9 p.m. After seeing some of the fam- the energy of the other actors, and ography as well. Corey’s work has set ily’s day-to-day life, including Natalie her presence augmented the conflict a new standard for the college musical Tuesday, Dec. 10 meeting a cute, piano-playing ston- within “Next to Normal.” in having exactness in tech and acting Sean Nicholas Savage, er named Henry (played by Cole As Diana starts to regain memory instead of sacrificing these aspects of Bamenda, Ahem! The Painting Show Chiumento ’14) and Diana getting of her son, the visions of him return as the production for the vocals. The cast Eclectic, 10 p.m. Art Studio South, 12 p.m. varying, confusing prescriptions for well. She leaves her home to deal with and crew of “Next to Normal” should her illness from her doctor (played by her problems on her own, no longer be proud of their incredible perfor- Liam Tran ’17), we see Diana singing having to act as a burden for Dan or mances, as they created what was truly happy birthday and presenting a cake Natalie. From beginning to end, Jonas an unforgettable theatric experience. All events are free unless otherwise noted. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS 15 food Food Fight: Home Cooking Sbona Remembers Home Cooking Makes The Holiday ponents. But, with a spread like that and decorating the house, it’s hard By Emma Davis before you, and satisfied smiles on the to imagine anyone’s preparations for 18 Years at Deli Assistant Food Editor faces of its chefs, wouldn’t you be hard- holiday festivities as being anxiety-free. pressed to condemn home cooking and Cooking a full, three-course meal on I spent Thanksgiving break in the mouth-sized miracles it delivers? top of these other obligations could what was essentially a glorified cabin in And, to add to the general success certainly make for an unpleasant holi- the woods. With no Internet, no TV, of our Thanksgiving’s culinary experi- day experience. and the nearest store at least 10 minutes ence, it was the mounds of cold stuffing Of course, foregoing a home- away, our primary activities were eating, and green beans with almonds that got cooked meal in favor of catering sitting by the fire, and playing Scrabble. us through the evening and next day af- should not mean foregoing the quality In other words, aside from enjoying the ter the pump broke, and we had to sur- of the meal. Though a host might opt peaceful rural setting, we were there for vive without running water. In the end, to order food, care can still be apparent the food and the bonding. not only did our homemade meal bring in the planning of the menu. If execut- When the time came on us together; it proved to be the true es- ed thoughtfully, having a catered meal Thanksgiving Day to set out the meal, sence of Thanksgiving: after all, if you need not be seen as a lazy alternative, it was with growing glee that I carried can celebrate with only good food and but rather as a way in which a host can dish after dish of holiday specials to family in a cabin in the middle of no- more fully enjoy the presence of hir the table, from the three types of stuff- where, what else do you really need? guests. ing and cranberry sauce to the trays of Instead of slaving over a wide ar- string beans and mac and cheese and Enjoy the Company ray of recipes (not to mention the in- the golden-skinned, gleaming turkey By Erica DeMichiel evitable cleanup process at the end), resting on its wooden carving platter. Assistant Food Editor perhaps a host can prepare one or two It was a feast that occupied literally half special dishes supplemented by the ca- the table, resulting in an almost buffet- I consider myself to be an avid tered meal. Not only will it be easier to style extravaganza in which the center- supporter of fresh, home-cooked tidy up, but it will also take a consider- piece marked the divide between food foods, and I often recoil upon hear- able amount of pressure off the host, and food-devourers. ing the term “store-bought.” Though who will then be able to devote hir EMMA DAVIS/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER Since there were only six of us I am always grateful for the love and attention to the friends and family ze 232 William St., formerly Marco’s Deli, will soon become Mama’s (my parents, myself, and three fam- effort that go into making a meal, the might not see frequently. Italian Deli and Market. ily friends) there was no question that holiday season is an inherently stressful Though food plays a significant we would not be able to finish it all. time of year even without the added role in holiday traditions, the most im- By Emma Davis A: What did you enjoy most Instead, as we passed around the gravy burden of hosting dinner parties. Food portant part of any celebration is not Assistant Food Editor about owning the deli? and various vegetable sides, we made should certainly not be neglected at quite as tangible. Though American MS: It was the people. I met so light of the enormous amounts of left- this time of year, but it should never culture would have us believe other- Marco’s Deli, located across many really wonderful people overs ahead of us and compared recipes become more important than enjoy- wise, stress should not be an intrinsic from LoRise on William Street until over the 18 years; it was a really as we sampled each iteration of Brussels ing the company of one’s friends and aspect of the holidays. Winter vacation its closing in June 2013, used to be nice way to make a living, meet- sprouts. family. is supposed to be an opportunity for a convenient food stop for students. ing kids from all over the country Sure, there were actual tears cried While a home-cooked meal is a us to temporarily escape a hectic work Middletown native Mark Sbona and all the people at Wesleyan over the turkey, and, in an atypical per- fantastic way to express appreciation schedule, so this next month should owned the deli for 18 years, begin- and in the neighborhood….It petuation of gender roles, my mother for loved ones, preparing food should be devoted far less to food preparation ning in 1995. was a lot of fun, I’ll leave it at and our female family friend spent two never feel like a chore for a host dur- than to relaxation, reflection, and hap- The Sbona family is familiar to that. I met some characters. days in their respective kitchens slaving ing the holiday season. From buying piness. many in Middletown: Mark’s broth- away to produce the meal’s many com- and wrapping presents, to cleaning After all, ’tis the season to be jolly! er, Bill, took over Central News on A: You and your brother closed Main Street a few years before he shop for good within a few weeks opened Marco’s Deli, and his fa- of each other this past June. Can ther, “Buddy,” served three terms as you speak to what led both of Mayor of Middletown and 20 years your establishments to close and Oil: Students Raise Concerns as city clerk, retiring in 1995. what you might have done differ- Sbona now works at Public ently, if anything? Market on Main Street, and the MS: For me, it was just the cir- About Use of Pomace Oil former Deli’s location will become cumstances. I didn’t own the Mama’s Italian Deli and Market, ac- building, and the building was in Continued from front page flavor that may not cording to a sign in the window. I pretty rough shape, and it would be desired in a given spoke on the phone with Sbona to have been a real big investment Dagnall noted that the reputability dish. talk about his experience running for me to stay there. At my age, of Marconi, the pomace oil brand, Just how exten- the deli. I didn’t know if I wanted to do would suggest that these toxins are sive is the use of olive that…. If I’d owned the building, found in low quantities in oil that pomace oil? Dagnall The Argus: How did you wind up I probably would have stayed, Bon Appétit uses. says it is used exten- in Middletown prior to owning but I didn’t. “You would probably have sively at the Classics Marco’s Deli? As far as my brother, news- to drink two cups a day, every day station, and it is used Mark Sbona: I’m a lifelong resident papers and magazines aren’t really of your life [for it to have harm- in Mongolian Grill of Middletown. Kind of grew up in popular anymore. There aren’t ful effects],” said Resident District due to the high-tem- that area, too. many stores like his left anymore. Manager at Wesleyan for Bon perature cooking and [He sold] newspapers, magazines, Appétit Michael Strumpf. the need to use oil A: What prompted you to start a res- cigarettes, cigars, and between Although McLean said that with a high smoke taurant in Middletown? computers and taxes on ciga- Strumpf contested the validity of the point. Other oils, MS: I was working for a construc- rettes, that kind of sealed his fate. health concerns raised by this oil, he such as vegetable and tion company, and I was out of characterized Bon Appétit’s response canola, are used in work at the time. The two people A: What kinds of interactions did as responsible. Within several days deep frying and salad who owned the store [Marco’s Deli] you have with students from the of this meeting, the extra virgin olive dressings. I knew [from] my childhood, and Wesleyan campus? oil had been returned to the dressing M a c k e n z i e they asked if I knew anybody who MS: Well, they were right across table. Schlosser ’16 noted might be interested in taking over the street, at LoRise, and I had McLean’s concern lies more the confusion about the store. I thought about it for a a lot of regular kids coming in. with the extent of the use of the oil where in Usdan the little while, and three months later, They’d come in two, three times and with the lack of transparency in pomace oil is used. they helped me get started with the a week, and as far as interaction, oil use. “They should at EMMA DAVIS/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER business. And that’s how I got there. that was basically it. That’s how “I didn’t realize they use it in the very least label Pomace oil, a relative of other olive oils, is pro- I knew a lot of these kids. A lot practically everything,” he stated. [it],”she said. cessed using high temperatures and solvents. A: And who were the previous own- of them would come back after Some students suspect that Bon Since the Nov. ers? they graduated on reunion week- Appétit uses pomace oil because it is 24 WSA meeting, posted menu signs watch out for this,” she said. MS: The people that owned the ends, and stop in and say hello, a less expensive product than other have indicated which products con- Casey Downey ’16 took a more place [then called Marino’s Market] and it was really nice. Made me types of olive oil. However, both tain pomace oil, though not consis- skeptical view of the issue, stating when I was a kid were the Marino feel good. Dagnall and Strumpf assure that cost tently; for instance, the Mongolian that he still had not seen enough in- brothers, and I think they started concerns are not a factor in the deci- Grill section is not labeled. formation about the potential risks in 1951. They retired in 1985, and A: Anything else you’d like to sion to cook using pomace oil. Although Bon Appétit has be- to form an opinion. then there were two ladies who ran add? Dagnall argues that pomace oil gun to label the use of pomace oil, “If I knew it had significant the store from 1985 to 1995, and MS: I’d like to take this op- is similar in nutritional value, retain- Schlosser was also frustrated about health risks, then I would avoid it if that’s when I came along. portunity to thank everybody ing many of the beneficial properties the students’ lack of choice in the it were labeled,” he said. at the University, everybody of extra virgin olive oil. It is also a situation, especially in light of Bon Although Strumpf and Dagnall A: What were some of the challenges who worked there, professors, solution to the concerns raised by Appétit’s positive reputation on noted that they do not consider the of taking over the deli? Physical Plant guys, everybody mixed oils, which may contain cano- campus. She also noted that she rec- use of olive pomace oil as cause for MS: The place had been closed for a around there, everybody in the la oil and be dangerous to students ognizes that, like any cafeteria, Bon alarm, they stated that they encour- while. The challenge was just to get neighborhood who supported me with nut allergies. He described Appétit offers several unhealthy food age suggestions and are open to ad- people to come back in there. It was over the years. I wouldn’t have pomace oil as a less expensive alter- options, but was concerned with the dressing student concerns. a struggle for a while. It took a cou- been able to stay there if it wasn’t native to olive oil, explaining that pervasive use of the pomace oil. “We take the food very seri- ple of years to get going, so I kind for them, and I just wanted to say pomace oil has many of the proper- “Wesleyan food is known for ously, and we take the student’s con- of had to build the whole customer thank you to all of them, and I ties of olive oil without the strong being healthy, so it’s their job to cerns very seriously,” Strumpf stated. base again. miss them all. 16 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECENBER 6, 2013 opinion Bill Cosby is Funny and The Holy That’s All That Matters Rail: Trains By Josh Cohen, Opinion Editor By Jenny Davis, Assistant Opinion Editor On the Friday following is, was performing on such a blue net- Bill Cosby came to the University Thanksgiving, a Bill Cosby stand-up work. “Is this a new Comedy Central?” back in 2010. His daughter attended If there is one thing I know happened to me. Even the closed-door comedy special aired on television. This he recounts some skeptical fans ask- Wesleyan, so he’s officially Bill Cosby for certain, it is that trains are won- fiasco, which lasted 10 minutes and was a moderately advertised, somewhat ing. When he informed them that no, P’87. I didn’t get to see him then. The derful creatures. can hardly be classified as a fiasco, was anticipated event for a comedy giant this is the same Comedy Central they Homecoming performance in Crowell I might not have said that classier than any other mundane dis- with little remaining cultural relevan- know, one of them began to cry, la- Concert Hall had sold out months in a week and a half ago. At that turbance to befall Thanksgiving travel- cy. Cosby had not performed a stand- mented “Mr. Cosby’s gonna curse,” and advance, back before I was a Wesleyan time, I was standing on a platform ers. Something about riding a train— up special in over 30 years. Comedy walked away. It’s an absurd story, but student. Some friends of mine were able at Manhattan’s Grand Central not a subway, but an above-ground Central used that fun fact as its main it plays because the storyteller is still at to get tickets, and they tell me Cosby Terminal ten minutes before my train, preferably owned by Metro draw, although it’s hard to identify with the top of his game. He doesn’t orate to was seated then, too. train was supposed to depart, wear- North—makes me feel like a World a sales pitch that predates my birth and the back rows, but speaks in measured I’m trying to contextualize what ing about twenty layers of clothing War II-era spy en route from Russia is based on information no one seems to tones that make the audience lean in to “Far from Finished” means to me. I and carrying a thirty-pound duffel to Switzerland. You can be anybody care about. listen. After 50 years onstage, he trusts missed him at the University as a fresh- bag. The doors to the train were you want on a train, and it doesn’t Was anyone clamoring for a Cosby his gravitas to carry the narration, and man, but I saw him back at home as a closed. This closed-door thing had even matter how you act, because the special in 2013? Clearly he was: he went he nails his vocal inflections, eyebrow senior, enjoying my last Thanksgiving never happened before—usually entire fantasy can live in your head. out in front of the cameras and called raises, and head feints to punctuate each of college. What that means, I have early passengers are free to board On a train, everything and everyone his set “Far from Finished.” But from joke with impeccable technique. no idea. Maybe I need to stop trying the train—and it was not an alto- is much more romantic: even though the advertising, the special resembled In fact, the most impressive quality to think of everything that moves me gether pleasant surprise. The un- sometimes there are gross people, such an important moment more than it was of the performance was Cosby’s physi- as part of a grander narrative. Maybe I derground passageway was a good as the fellow who plucked his hair actually momentous, like a museum cality. His face is as expressive as ever, should just acknowledge that this hour four hundred degrees warmer than from his scalp and used it as dental exhibit on stand-up from a bygone age. his smile and wide eyes like a Greek of comedy made me laugh, and I don’t the outside temperature. I think floss, who ride them, it’s O.K. Being The elderly crowd applauded apprecia- comedy mask come to life, but that has need to frame that experience in any I actually saw steam evaporating on a train in the first place gives him tively when the man of the hour walked always been his strong suit. Cosby made way. from a few bald people’s heads. 10 automatic sophistication points. onstage, but watching at home on the a career being under control onstage, Besides, Cosby’s special didn’t need Would-be passengers began to Riding a train is like being at a network that airs South Park and such, I but he sold his best bit with his limbs context to be funny. You don’t have to congregate, but the doors remained weird dinner party at which you know was the target demographic. in “Far from Finished.” Describing his be a Cosby fan or even know about the suctioned shut. I set my bag on the none of the guests and don’t particu- Then Cosby sat down—oxymo- golden-year bickering with his wife like 30-year gap to find “Far from Finished” gum-speckled platform, held it larly care to get to know them. I’ve ronic as it was, the 76-year-old per- a swordfight, Cosby described an argu- hilarious. It also doesn’t matter how old firmly with my feet so that nobody never been to a dinner party, so of formed his entire set from a chair at ment over whether he had spoiled his he is. Cosby uses his age to his advan- would take off with my knitting course I’m only guessing, but that’s center stage, never once actually stand- dinner by eating cookies. The premise tage because he’s a great comedian, not needles and toothpaste, and un- part of the fun of riding the train: ing up—and proceeded to do what he is infantile, but he surrounds his slow, because he needs his age to be funny. He zipped my winter jacket. My other guessing what it might feel like to be a has done his entire career: make people severe, calculating dialogue with a car- doesn’t need to curse or stand, either. nineteen layers stayed put. dinner-party attendee. I imagine that of all ages laugh with the same material. toonish fencing pantomime. His arms He’s just going to go out and deliver a At first people were agreeable, people who go to dinner parties also That has been his niche in his stand-up, make wild jabs and circles and slashes vintage Bill Cosby performance. even jolly, about the circumstance, frequent the train, but again, that’s his writing, “The Cosby Show,” ever while his feet dance in front of him. You Two days after watching “Far from but soon the businessmen became only a guess. since he started performing in 1962. can’t help but stare at his feet as they fly; Finished,” I came back to campus. Six terse. Many of them began to I once rode the train in front of a Over half a century later, he proved even in his spryest days, Cosby was nev- months from now, I will graduate. Bill loosen their ties. One man reached British woman and an American man again that stand-up, a vulgarian’s game, er so balletic, but he can pretend to be Cosby is developing a new sitcom. I bet into his bag and pulled out a glass who were, at least by my interpreta- can be funny for the whole family. from the chair. He strikes cavalier poses, it will be great. bottle of beer, something that I tion, conducting a covert affair. She He started his set by addressing and a trivial anecdote becomes neces- wasn’t quite sure was legal to do in was tipsy and he sounded as though the fact that he, wholesome man that he sary viewing. Cohen is a member of the class of 2014. public. I seem to remember there he was positive that he was the most being a small wedge of lime wear- alluring man on the planet. She had ing a tiny plastic umbrella perched put the kids to bed in Larchmont un- in the neck of the bottle, but that der the watchful eye of her 95-year- might have been a heat-induced old husband, and they were on their Finding The Place of hallucination. way into his New York City apartment The time of departure came while his wife tended to the country and went, marked by the business- chateau in Connecticut. I believe I Greek Life at Wesleyan men checking their gold watches fabricated every detail of that anec- aggressively. The doors were still dote besides the accents, but my point By Matthew Leibowitz, Contributing Writer closed. Another man took out a is that the truth doesn’t even matter. carton of takeout Pad Thai and be- On the train, everything is fair (fare?) The Wesleyan community often aside (as the fact is that University stu- take action. gan to eat it with his fingers. This game. Making assumptions about takes pride in its uniqueness—its abil- dents participate in drinking whether in Lastly, the administration must be group had reached a new low, I people is only part of the fun. ity to do things differently. While the a fraternity or not), there are aspects to accepting of the Greek organizations on decided. On the train, you can listen in University, like every university, has its the cultural portrayal of Greek societies campus. It is difficult for the University A businessman in a red tie be- on people’s conversations, formulate faults, this approach to higher educa- that hold true and that are concerning. Greek community to try to make chang- gan to get anxious. a perfect image of the people speak- tion is something to be proud of and to But Greek organizations on campus can es to be productive contributors to the “I’ve been riding the train for ing in your mind’s eye, and then spin encourage. The problem with this ap- and are taking steps to not only be pro- Wesleyan idea of a college experience ten years!” he said, anguished, “and around in either satisfaction or disbe- proach, however, is their inclusion of or- gressive but also to join in the University’s whilst being constantly labeled as against this has never happened before— lief. Harriet the Spy played a similar ganizations that it does not deign worthy approach to a college community. that concept. Both the Greek organiza- not once!” game, I believe, though she stayed off of its goals or mentality. My organization, Alpha Epsilon tions and the University administration Other people murmured their the rails and dabbled mainly in restau- Such seems to be the issue facing Pi, has instituted a required consent- would benefit from working together to agreement. rants and dumbwaiters. After listening the Greek system on campus. The ad- and healthy-relationship workshop for find a place for Greek organizations in Ten minutes after the train to the conversation of the affair people ministration especially, but also parts of incoming members, and many other the Wesleyan community and mindset. should have departed, the engine for about twenty minutes, I had decid- the student body, do not see the Greek organizations have instituted or are in One method of achieving this turned on again and the doors fi- ed that the woman would have chin- college experience as compatible with the process of instituting similar require- would be to hire a Greek representative nally opened. We let out a collec- length blonde hair and Anna Wintour the Wesleyan experience. This seems ments. In addition, there have been in the administration, just as most col- tive sigh of relief and piled in. It sunglasses (or maybe she would just be hypocritical to the idea of a “Diversity conversations held on campus to discuss leges with an active Greek life possess. was all terribly undignified, and I Anna Wintour) and be middle-aged; University,” which should, to achieve how Greek organizations, specifically fra- This individual would be a constant, found myself squished between the the man would be balding and have such a title, embrace all types of college ternities, can work to be safe spaces for proactive liaison between the two groups red tie businessman and the Pad a mole on his right cheek. I was right experiences within the University mind- women on campus and be more inclusive to develop a productive dialogue. The Thai businessman. Within min- about the blonde hair, but it was long set of unique and progressive approaches toward the entire University community. administration should take advantage of utes, we were pulling out of the sta- and stringy; I was dead wrong about to the college community. How, then, The steps being taken show these Greek the organizational skills, funds, and en- tion, faster than I could even make the man, who was strikingly hand- can the Greek college experience, often organizations’ commitment to share in thusiasm the Greek communities have a mental remark about the tie/ some, with no mole to be found. seen as anachronistic within a small liber- the University’s idea of a college com- to contribute toward bettering Wesleyan. Thai homophone. To my surprise, I should have berated myself for al arts university, be part of the Wesleyan munity. Two of the phrases presented by nobody came to collect my ticket, making such an abysmal guess, but my experience in a productive and inclusive Just as Greek organizations at Wesleyan’s fundraising campaigns seem and I realized that because of the point here is that on a train, abysmal way? Wesleyan take steps to act progressively relevant to this conversation: “Are you ten-minute delay, we weren’t being guesses are irrelevant, and so I forgave To achieve such an end, the re- and find how they can contribute to the Wesleyan” and “This is Why.” Wesleyan charged for the ride. It was prob- myself pretty quickly. I’m still using sponsibility should not solely lie with the Wesleyan ideals of a college experience, students involved with Greek life are just ably the classiest thing that has ever my train(ing) wheels, after all. Greek community. If the Greek life com- it is important that students embrace as “Wesleyan” as those who are not; Greek happened to me. munity wishes to be accepted as part of these actions as sincere changes. It is societies on campus do represent what it Trains in general are probably Davis is a member of the class of what it means to be at the University, and comforting to see several organizations means to be “Wesleyan” and are working the classiest things that have ever 2017. if the administration in return wishes for on campus, including several identity to become even more so. It should be the the Greek community on campus to con- organizations and sexual health advocacy goal of the entire community—Greek tribute to a better campus, the members groups, work with Greek organizations organizations, non-Greek students, and of the Greek community, those on cam- to run events that advocate for activism the administration—to make sure that Follow us on Twitter! pus not affiliated with Greek life, and the both around and from the Greek com- the slogan “This is Why” can be attached administration all must put in effort. munity. Although this proactive action to any and all of the Greek organizations. The stereotypes of Greek life culture isn’t necessary of everyone, it is encourag- on college campuses are rooted in real as- ing to see students appreciate what Greek Leibowitz is a member of the class of @wesleyanargus pects of the Greek community. Partying organizations are doing to step up and 2014. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS opinion • 17

Making This Time of Got an opinion? Year More Wonderful Wanna share it? By Jason Shatz, Contributing Writer Write a Wespeak!

When we hear “It’s the Most walking to the podium and snatching in charitable efforts, like volunteering Wonderful Time of the Year,” we don’t the microphone. He attempted to give at the soup kitchen, as a study break. always share the sentiment. Outside an opposition speech, but one of the At a school whose students come the University, people experience the speakers leaned against him and the from 52 countries besides the United stress—however joyful—of planning musicians tried to play him off. Several States, we at the University are also en- for the holidays and shopping for gifts. members of the audience shouted, “Let couraged to engage in charitable efforts We feel this stress on campus as well, him speak!” worldwide. Our bonds with friends and of course, but it is augmented by aca- Although I disagree with the tim- family are certainly the most impor- demic struggles; final papers and exams ing of his tactics and the content of his tant, but in this increasingly globalized provide yet another burden for both message, I consider his a well-formulat- world, we must think in much broader students and faculty. ed and well-articulated argument that spheres. For instance, we are very much I was especially stressed when I deserves to be heard. That said, I wish aware of the affects of the typhoon in found messages in my email account to challenge the speeches on a different the Philippines. Haiyan happened to from various organizations about level, albeit one that incorporates their occur just before a season where the Giving Tuesday. The stress did not message. spirit of giving and charity reaches its come from the tone or content of the I sympathize with the alumni zenith. We should seize this opportu- messages themselves, or from the fact who spoke at that reception because nity. that many undergraduates cannot af- the circumstances forced them to pro- We face similar issues here in ford to contribute as much as the or- mote contributions to the University Middletown. Rather than becoming ganizations deserve. I felt distraught at on Giving Tuesday only, rather than a community of communities, we at the fact that there had to be a Giving to extend the spirit to every other day the University have become a bubble Tuesday in the first place. of the year. I do not doubt their pride that is home to other, smaller, bub- Isn’t the holiday season a time for in our school. But if Wesleyan instills bles. Focusing on the bubbles within giving and sharing? Is that not the place and hones one skill, it is critical thought the University, and the bubble of the from which a substantial portion of its on broader lenses. That spirit should University itself, we often do not priori- joys emanates? And above all, in the compel those who can to give to the tize our neighbors in Middletown and 21st century, shouldn’t we be engaged University with vigor, but it should beyond. in more giving than ever before? I sup- also compel us to give outside of the I hope that we can use the giving port the spirit of Giving Tuesday, but University with the same vigor. season to channel our contrarian energy there should not be a giving day or sea- At the very least, we should con- toward helping those around us, in this son. Giving ought to be a regular part tribute to efforts that will improve the community and beyond. The pending of our lives. quality of life for those who need it in deluge of final assessments and perfor- I recently attended a senior class the surrounding Middletown area. We mances unites us in stress, but we must reception in which President Roth and should support efforts that provide remember to come together and em- Melody Oliphant ’13, among other shelter to the homeless and offer food brace the holiday season while we can. alumni, gave brief speeches about the to the starving. We should continue And let us sustain the spirit of giving The Wespeaks section is a forum for student opinion, debate, importance of giving to the University to provide necessary resources to those beyond the end of the term, for the bet- ideas, rants, quips, and anything you want to share. on Giving Tuesday. Almost inevitably, who are still reeling from the super- terment of us all. the speeches were challenged. Joshua storms and blizzards of the last several Submit online: wesleyanargus.com/submit-a-wespeak Krugman ’14 stormed the stage, briskly years. Perhaps some of us could engage Shatz is a member of the class of 2014. 18 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 sports Men’s Hockey Takes Two of Amherst Sinks Three in Non-Conference Play WeSwim And Dive By Gili Lipman home ice with a 4-1 victory. Hartnett in the third period. The team trailed by By Brett Keating success against the Lord Jeffs, despite Assistant Sports Editor scored the lone goal for Wesleyan, with as- one after allowing two unanswered scores, Sports Editor falling 109-85 in the partially-scored sists from Captain Keith Buehler ’14 and including a goal late in the second period. meet. Currently sitting fifth in the confer- Vorel. Dawson Sprigings ’17 suffered his Sprigings played very well, saving 20 out In their home opener against a The 400 medley relay came in ence standings, the men’s hockey team first lost of the season despite stopping 28 of 22 for a .901 save percentage. Little Three foe, the swim and dive at second in the first race of the eve- started to pick up its play last week after of 32 shots for a .875 save percentage. Wesleyan came back the next day teams fell to Amherst on Monday, ning, posting a 4:07.6 finish behind losing two straight NESCAC games to “We took way too many penalties to defeat Salve Regina at home by a score Nov. 25 in their first home very strong splits from backstroker Hamilton and Amherst by a combined against Hamilton and Amherst, which of 6-2. The Cardinals never trailed in the NESCAC meet of the season. Angela Slevin ’15 and freestyler Serena margin of six goals. The team followed was a big part of those losses, as well as game, and failed to look back after netting The men’s team dropped to Zalkowitz ’17. these defeats by picking up five points in not capitalizing on our own power plays,” three goals in the first period. James Kline 1-3 on the season, falling 104-70, “I was very happy with how the last three games, with wins over non- Hartnett said. “We learned as a team that ’17 scored twice in the game, and each of although both the men’s and wom- the medley relay did,” Slevin said. conference opponents Stonehill and Salve in order to be successful, we cannot take his goals was assisted by Vorel. Kline also en’s scores were deceptively close; “Everyone’s splits were very good for Regina, as well as a tie with Wentworth. as many penalties as we did that weekend, added an assist on a Buehler goal, while Amherst swam all exhibitions af- this time of year.” “I think we learned that we have to and we have to come to battle for 60 min- Connor Ryan ’15 scored his second goal ter securing the victory, meaning Coach Peter Solomon has shown come to play and battle every single night, utes every game.” of the season, shorthanded, off assists from Amherst times do not count to- much confidence in Zalkowitz; she and if we don’t, we won’t be happy with Against Stonehill, the game was in Terence Durkin ’16 and Harbison. Ryan’s ward the overall score. is the lone underclassman on the our result,” said Assistant Captain Tommy a 1-1 tie entering the third period. That’s goal proved to be the game winner against None of the Cardinals on the Cardinals’ top relay team, which the Hartnett ’14. when Wesleyan erupted with 4 goals, the Seahawks. Daley was back in net for men’s side finished atop the scored Birds hope to send to Nationals this Elliot Vorel ’17 continued his streak which led them to a 5-3 victory. A team ef- Wesleyan, as he blocked 34 of 36 shots races, although Billy Hepner ’16 year. Zalkowitz also turned in a solid of scoring a point in each of the first seven fort was given for this victory, as eight dif- fired for a .944 save percentage. turned in another strong perfor- finish in her individual events, swim- games this season. He leads the conference ferent players recorded at least one point. “We played a solid game against mance in the 200-yard breast- ming the 100 free in 56.16, sixteen- with seven goals and nine assists for a total Jaren Taenaka ’16 scored the winning goal, Salve, especially after coming off a tough stroke, finishing in 2:14.7, just tenths of a second off the winner, and of 16 points. His success has been an indi- shorthanded, about midway through the tie with Wentworth the night before,” four-tenths of a second behind the the 50 free just six-tenths of a second cation of a larger theme for the Cardinals, third period. Daley was back in net for Hartnett said. “We capitalized on some winner, Amherst’s Nick Lafky. of the winner. as first-year players have been credited this one, as he stopped 23 of 26 shots that early power plays, and with a great game Hepner led for the much of Slevin had another strong meet with 11 of the team’s 29 goals and 20 of came his way for a .885 save percentage. from a few guys, as well as a great goal- the first three laps, and on the turn herself, unexpectedly edging near the their 42 assists this season. “The Stonehill game proved to be tending performance by Nolan Daley, we heading into the final lap the two school record in the 400 individual The loss against Hamilton was dis- a big bounce-back game for us,” Harnett were able to put the game away.” were dead even, their splits separat- medley, a rare feat to perform in season appointing for the team after last season, said. “I think we were playing pretty well The team will look to keep their suc- ing the men by just 0.02 seconds. untapered. She finished second in the when the Cards were able to demolish the throughout the game, and the guys came cess rolling as they have a few more non- Lafky pulled out the victory, but event at 4:38.57, less than two seconds Continentals in Clinton, N.Y., 11-3. This out to really battle for the win. [Robby conference games before jumping into the race was nonetheless a highlight behind last year’s National B-Cut. She time around was different, as Hamilton Harbison ’17 and Buehler] made a great a challenging NESCAC schedule. They of the evening for the Cardinals. also came within a second and a half outscored the Redbirds 8-5. Once again, play to get me the puck, and it ended up will face off at home against Hobart on Behind Hepner finished of the B-Cut in the 200 back, winning Vorel led the team in scoring with three in the back of the net. I think it was a mat- Saturday, Dec. 7 at 4 p.m. This will be the Spencer Daus-Haberle ’17 and the race with a time of 2.07:39. points, while three others, James Albrecht ter of time until the team exploded for final game for the Cardinals before head- Zach Carfi ’17, who came in third Captain Roxy Capron ’14 had ’15, Jay Matthews ’16, and Nick Malone some goals because of how well we were ing into winter break. and fourth respectively with times another solid performance in her lone ’17, each scored two points. Nolan Daley playing. Tying the game up brought some “We expect to come out and play of 2:16.78 and 2:17.24. The three individual event, completing the 200 ’16 saved 20 of the 28 shots that were fired energy back into the bench, and we were a great game on Saturday and come underclassmen breaststrokers were breast in 2:29.85, good for second in at him. able to roll for a few more goals.” away with a win against a good team in the only trio to all earn points the race. Fellow Cardinal Erin Cohn The Cardinals were hopeful of The Redbirds’ next game ended in a Hobart,” Harnett said. “It will be a great for Wes in the same event against ’15 finished fourth in the event, two avenging their two losses to Amherst from 2-2 draw against Wentworth. They fought stepping stone going into break on a posi- Amherst. seconds behind Capron. last year, but the Lord Jeffs protected their back with a comeback goal scored by Vorel tive note.” Daus-Haberle enjoys sharing After the race, Slevin highlight- the pool with the other men he ed a similar atmosphere that Daus- swims with in this event. Haberle did. “Having teammates share the “I think the Amherst meet was a Men’s Hoops Wins Harbor same events that I do is great,” lot of fun because it was our first home he said. “After spending so many meet and there was a lot of energy and hours training together, it’s fun excitement,” she said. “People really By Asher Young the second half, and Williams ended up finals, where the Cards faced off against stepping up to race together and stepped up, and we had a lot of suc- Staff Writer winning 91-74. tournament hosts UMass Boston. The knowing that we have all earned cessful swims.” Glen Thomas ’14 played strongly two teams began the game going blow- our times. Having familiar faces in The junior Academic All- The men’s basketball team had a in the loss, scoring 16 points on eight- for-blow, and they were tied at 14 af- the water while racing always helps American enjoys this style of meet, successful run over Thanksgiving break, of-eight shooting, and Rafferty scored a ter the first six minutes. However, after to add excitement and reassurance with longer events, more than shorter winning four of their five games in the team-high 19 points. Epps also put up 14 Rafferty hit a three pointer to break the to a meet.” meets that feature lots of sprints. past two weeks. Highlights of the team’s points and 10 boards, which was good for tie, the Cards surged ahead to a 47-31 lead Individual wins are an im- “The team is usually better in the strong play included its first road win over his third double-double in four games. at halftime. After a strong second half of portant place to put some focus, longer format with 200s as opposed to Emmanuel College on Nov. 21, a tight The Cardinals squared off next play, Wesleyan captured the tournament because team wins are tough to shorter meets, so going in I knew we 74-71 victory over Elms College on Nov. against Elms College in their third title with a 75-64 win. come by for a team of Wesleyan’s could do some good stuff,” she said. 26, and the championship win at the 29th straight road game, where their strong Both Epps and Davis received all- size. The team has just 17 men, Both teams also competed the Annual Harbor Invitational Tournament defense continued. Davis had a career tournament honors, and Epps was also including no divers, compared to previous weekend, Saturday, Nov. 23 last weekend. game against the Blazers, putting up a named the tournament MVP, averaging Amherst’s 35-person squad. in lovely Lewiston, Maine against the Through seven games, Wesleyan game-high 21 points on an impressive 13.5 points and 12.5 rebounds per game Daus-Haberle was strongly local Bates Bobcats and the Trinity sits at 5-2 overall, with a 0-1 record in 6-7 shooting, including 3-4 from beyond in the tourney. encouraged by the results against Bantams. NESCAC play. The Cardinals’ .714 win the arc. Bryan Galvin ’15 added 13 points Wesleyan has received scoring help Amherst. The women fell to Bates 218- percentage is good for fifth best in the with three treys, while Epps recorded his from many different players this season, as “Despite the advantage that 81, and beat Trinity 149-145. The conference. fourth double-double of the season with a the team’s depth has helped it come with a our rival had in numbers, we were men fell to both the Bobcats and the Wes traveled to Emmanuel after 10-point, 11-rebound performance. different look in every game so far. Reilly able to pull together and create a Bantams. finishing its first weekend of play as a Epps currently leads the NESCAC talked about his team’s unselfishness, as supportive atmosphere for all the Highlights of the meet for the runner-up in the Herb Kenny Tip-Off in rebounds per game with 11.6, which well as the members’ ability to play with swimmers in the water,” the fresh- men were a thrilling victory by Jimmy Tournament. Harry Rafferty ’17 and is a full board ahead of the next-best re- many different personalities. man said. “The team was able to Gaston ’15 in the 1000 free, pulling Rashid Epps ’16 led the Cardinals with bounder. The junior is currently the sec- “I think we even have some guys maintain a strong attitude through- out a victory by less than three-tenths 14 points each against the Saints, while ond-highest scorer for Wesleyan with 13.4 who haven’t contributed yet who are ca- out the competition. At the end of of a second in his 10:20.64 race. He PJ Reed ’17 and BJ Davis ’16 both added points per game, trailing only Rafferty’s pable of doing so,” Reilly said. “We have a the meet, our team was still cheer- also came in first in the 500 free, com- 10. Epps also recorded an impressive 17 14.0. Coach Reilly not only praised Epps’ situation where we have a lot of competi- ing for all the relays despite an fortably finishing three seconds ahead rebounds, tied for his season high. work ethic, but also his ability to stay con- tion at every position, so I’m excited about impending loss. This meet proved of second place. Daus-Haberle and fel- The Cardinals jumped out to a 9-2 sistent. the potential for growth that we have.” that having the right attitude can low first-year Nate Courville took the lead just over three minutes into the game “Rashid does everything in life one After Wesleyan’s home game greatly shape a team’s performance third and fourth spots in that event. and never looked back. While Emmanuel way; with one hundred percent,” Reilly on Thursday against Westfield State and that Wesleyan definitely has Wesley Ho ’15 grabbed the top was able to cut the lead to four in the sec- said. “He is fully committed and plays ex- University, the team will not play another that attitude.” spot in the 50 free, winning the race ond half, the Wesleyan defense proved too tremely hard every single possession. He’s contest until Dec. 30. While the 25-day While the results of the strong by just six-hundredths of a second. tough to crack, as the Cards went on a just a winner, and it’s great to have some- layoff will provide some rest for the play- team unity are not immediately Capron and Cohn once again 12-1 run to put the game away, coming one that does things the right way.” ers, it will also prove to be a challenge. tangible, Daus-Haberle says they battled for second place in the 50 out on top 72-61. Last weekend, Wesleyan traveled to Reilly said that because of the way the will definitely come, sooner rather breast, with the former edging the lat- “Even though we’re not shooting UMass Boston to compete in the Harbor schedule falls this year, the break was the than later. ter by half a second in the sprint. the ball as well as we’d like to, we’re play- Invitational Tournament. The tourna- longest possible amount of time off that “Remaining unified is the Slevin swam the 500 free for the ing great defense,” said Head Coach Joe ment field included College of St. Joseph’s, his team could have. best way to continue to improve first time this year in that meet, setting Reilly. “I think it was really our defense UMass Boston, and Emerson College. “Other teams that we compete throughout the season for the team a new personal record while finishing that got us going in [the Emmanuel] The Cardinals played Emerson in against are dealing with the same thing,” as a whole,” he said. “The close- in the top spot by just seven hun- game.” the first game of the tournament, winning Reilly said. “So our goal is to have an edge knit nature of the team is unique dredths of a second at 5:10.17. After beating the Saints, Wesleyan easily 74-59. Epps came out with perhaps over those teams, and that’ll mean our to our school, and it is important Some swimmers from each squad traveled to Williams for its first NESCAC his best performance of the season, scor- guys working hard individually over the for us to emphasize it during the will be heading to Cambridge, Mass. match-up of the year. Although the ing 17 points on 7-11 shooting from the next couple of weeks. If you’re motivated coming months.” this weekend for an optional meet at Cardinals trailed by only four points at field while recording 14 rebounds. and you’re mentally tough, you can have a The women’s side of the pool the MIT Invitational before their two- half, the Ephs went on a 21-8 run to start The win propelled Wes into the lot of growth in this period.” found a moderately higher level of week Christmas break starts. FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6, 2013 THE WESLEYAN ARGUS SPORTS • 19 Women’s Basketball Team Makes Strides in Season their best team field goal percentage to come out of.” On Thursday, Dec. 5, the wom- with a 47.2 percent mark on the contest. There would be sufficient time to en’s basketball team defended its home Coming off the bench, Dreisen Heath ’15 regroup over the holiday break, as the court yet again, drubbing Worcester was just a rebound short of a double-dou- Cardinals would not be in action un- State University with a 56-34 win. The ble with a 20-point, nine-rebound exhibi- til this past Sunday when they hosted Cardinal defense was unyielding, holding tion. Kaylie Williams ’16 decided to show the University of St. Joseph. The Birds its foes to 10-of-53 from the field, a mis- off her shot on Saturday as well, draining displayed great resolve by getting back erable 18.9 percent shooting. Worcester six of seven from the field to chip in 13 to their winning ways in a grinding 70- could get nothing going on offense against points along with eight boards. With the 66 battle that went down to the wire. the stifling hosts, particularly in the first victory, the Cardinals rolled on to their With just 1:15 remaining in the contest, half as Wesleyan entered the break with a best start in nine years, but a quick turn- Wessells chose the perfect time to drain 32-13 lead. Williams led the way for Wes around game the following Tuesday may her first three of the game, and the trey with 12 points and 9 rebounds, but the have slowed down the celebration a bit. ball put the Cards ahead of their oppo- Cardinals really shut down Worcester as In their third straight home match- nents for good. a team. up, the Cardinals fell early against a tal- The Cards were able to persevere “It was a great team effort and team ented Vassar squad, trailing 40-18 enter- against such a persistent opposing side due win,” wrote Captain Jenna Klaes ’14 in a SHANNON WELCH/STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER ing the half. Unlike their gritty comebacks in part to the monster efforts of Captain message to the Argus. “We came in strong The women’s basketball team defeated Worcester State University earlier in the season, the Cardinals were KellyAnn Rooney ’14. The senior leader and ready for the game and executed as 56-34. in no position to climb back from this was shooting lights out as she established a best we could.” deficit as they dropped the contest 65- new career high for points with 22 on the With a tough test looming before By Felipe DaCosta while shooting well under their average 52. Though the Cardinals played mark- contest to drive the Cards to a 6-1 mark. winter break in the form of Little Three Assistant Sports Editor mark on the season. Despite the fact that edly better in the second half, Vassar was Despite individual heroics, forward rival Williams, the team will need to con- the Cards may not have been as sharp as still able to outpace them by nailing over Lashley said that the early season success tinue to create and capitalize on as many Over break, the Cardinals have been we’ve come to expect, the Birds were able half of their field goals with a 52.7percent earned by the Cardinals has been a team opportunities as it can. Additionally, putting in the work on the hardwood to to outclass the Beacons by 11. Captain mark. effort all the way through. Lashley said that pulling off a pair of wins earn their best start since the 2004-2005 Amber Wessells ’14 provided a spark for “Our loss against Vassar was a tough “Our record has revealed that our to end the first portion of the season will season. The Cardinals opened up shop the squad, as she was the only player scor- one,” Cherkira Lashley ’15 wrote in an team is growing and becoming more ma- involve a massive resurgence on the defen- at the Silloway Gymnasium with the ing in double digits with 13 points off of email to The Argus. “It was new for us to ture this year,” Lashley commented. “In sive side of the ball. Courtyard by Marriott Tournament on four-for-eight shooting. have to recover from such a bad start. The the games and practices it’s become ap- “Before this weekend we will need Nov. 22 and picked up a pair of deci- The Cards surely got their groove score was 10-0 at the start and we took too parent that we are all committed to being to regain confidence on defense,” wrote sive victories against UMass Boston and back for the second leg of the tourna- long to respond. We struggled defensively teammates more than any other aspect of Lashley. “Good defense is our identity this Albertus Magnus. ment, dropping a season-high 89 points and in rebounding. We lacked focus and the game. I think that mentality is difficult year and we’ve got to reclaim that. We also In their home opener, the Cardinals on an unsuspecting squad from Albertus even though we won the second half, the to compete against and it’s largely respon- need to get fired up! Our energy will set managed to contain their opponents Magnus. The Cardinals collectively shot hole we were in the first half was too deep sible for our success thus far.” the tone.” Women’s Hockey Competitive Squash Continues in Little Three Matchups Dominant Start By Michael Sheldon Corcoran ’16 in favor of having another game ended in a 0-0 tie. So, while By Felipe DaCosta I think we came into the match a little Staff Writer offensive player on the ice. Corcoran re- Amherst saw its long winning streak Assistant Sports Editor nervous and tentative. Personally and as corded 25 saves before being taken out. in games against Wesleyan slip away, a team we realized that we struggle play- As most students were packing their The shot differential, which was it extended its unbeaten streak against While the rest of us were stuffing ing against hard-hitters. Everyone on bags for Thanksgiving break, the women’s problematic for Wesleyan the weekend the Cardinals to 21. our faces with delicious gourds, Wesleyan’s Navy played the power game rather than hockey team was gearing up for its first before facing Williams, again worked Still, there is hope for this squad; squash squads were mashing potatoes and the finesse game, so we’ll be working on two home games of the season. Wesleyan against them. Amherst won the shot dif- the Cardinals went 2-14 last year, but stuffing turkeys on the courts. Both the that going forward and look to take down hosted Amherst on Friday, Nov. 22 and ferential 28-21 in the game. they’re already 1-2-1 with a big win men’s and women’s squads notched a teams like Navy later on this season.” Saturday, Nov. 23. The Cardinals dropped For Amherst, the victory extended over Williams and the recent draw. number of impressive victories to keep up Looking forward, the Cards will take the first game 3-2 and played Amherst to its streak of consecutive wins against Wesleyan need only beat out one team their hot starts. on Northeastern and Brown to wrap up a scoreless draw in the second. Wesleyan to 20 games. This was a trend in the regular season standings to The men’s squad came home from the first portion of the season on Saturday, The Cardinals got off to a rocky start Wesleyan sought to break in the second make playoffs, which is what the team the Boston Round Robin on Nov. 23 Dec. 7. While Northeastern won’t neces- in the first game of the two-game series. game of the set. failed to do in its previous campaign. hosted by Harvard with a pair of victories sarily pose a significant threat to the Birds’ Amherst scored the first three goals of the After having given up three early With their first four games be- in tow. First on the schedule, the Birds 3-1 record, Wesleyan is wary of its Ivy game, taking a 3-0 lead with 11:48 re- goals in the first game, the Cardinals’ hind them, the Cardinals have shown squared up against a side from Boston League counterparts. maining in the second period. Wesleyan defense toughened up dramatically. This they can be seriously competitive in College, tearing apart the lowly Eagles Things have been shaping up finally answered two minutes later, when was largely on the strength of Corcoran’s NESCAC games. The question going squad with their first 9-0 victory of the perfectly for the women’s team as the Caitlin Bray ’15 netted a goal through play in goal; she recorded saves on all 42 forward is whether they will be able day. Cardinals have amassed an unblem- several defenders coming off assists from of Amherst’s shots on goal. Her effort en- to earn enough wins to make playoffs, The very same day, the Cards took ished 4-0 start to the 2013-14 season. Hannah Jellinek ’15 and Ellery Sarosi ’17. sured Wesleyan’s second ever shutout of signaling a start to the rebuilding of on a squad from MIT to wrap up their The Cardinals continued their winning Jellinek later scored on a power play early Amherst and was impressive enough that the program. The Cardinals will not pre-holiday affairs. Without breaking ways at the Boston Round Robin against in the third period, drawing the score to Corcoran earned NESCAC Player of the have to begin answering that ques- a sweat, the same starting nine took the Northeastern and Boston College where 3-2. Week honors. tion for a bit more than a month; courts for the Cards, and this time the both squads were unable to register even Neither team was able to score from Unfortunately, Wesleyan was unable they next take the ice in a NESCAC Cardinals notched 3-0 victories in all of a single victory over the mighty Redbirds. that point onward, despite the Cardinals’ to muster up any goals of its own—the game against Middlebury on Friday, their matches. The team sported a pair Playing both of their matches in desperate ploy of pulling goalie Laura Cards managed just 23 shots—and the Jan. 10. of newcomers in the starting nine for Cambridge, the Cardinals denied their Saturday’s affairs, as Alex Kamisher ’17 opponents as each competitor took their and Chris Hart ’17 each notched their contests 3-0. Most impressively perhaps first ever pair of collegiate victories at the was Claire Miller ’15 who notched a pair Wrestlers Struggle at Parker number seven and number nine spots, of victories at the number six spot and respectively. only surrendered seven total points be- By Tobias Thor Lichtenstein showed in Springfield; only twelve wres- son, so most first-year college wres- In their most highly-anticipated tween her two contests. Miller, number Contributing Writer tlers were entered into the tournament, tlers, especially in their first few com- matchup of the early season, the Cards one Mary Foster ’14, number two Lauren and three weight classes (125, 184, and petitions, are not going to get seeded returned home to host a powerful Navy Nelson ’15, number five Nell Schwed At the Doug Parker Invitational heavyweight) didn’t have a Cardinal and thus face very tough, nationally- squad ranked 15th in the nation. Despite ’14, and number seven Miranda Linsky hosted by Springfield College, the grappler inserted, influencing the final ranked or higher-seeded wrestlers in their steadfast preparation, the Cardinals ’14 stand as the five Cardinal players that Wesleyan wrestling team faced adversity, team scores significantly. However, nine the first and second round of a tour- were only able to muster a pair of victo- have yet to concede a single game so far but was able to place 10th out of seven- of the 10 wrestlers who didn’t place were nament competition,” Black said. ries, and fell prey to Navy’s powerful play, this season. teen teams by accumulating 56.5 team able to win at least one match, and seven Roometua, Wesleyan’s other 7-2. The Cardinals were redeemed by the The Cardinals continued their string points. The Cardinals had two place of them went 2-2 or better. place-winner, placed fifth last week play of their number eight and number of dominant performances against a well- winners as captain Ryan Sblendorio ’15 “At this point, we just need to get as well, and while he didn’t improve nine guys, as Raheem Logan ’16 and Hart prepared Wellesley squad ranked 23rd took second at 174 and Josh Roometua healthy and sharpen things up and we on his previous finish, Black thinks each picked up victories. overall. The Cardinals were challenged a ’16 took fifth at 197. Unfortunately, will be looking strong for this weekend Roometua is doing just fine. Logan battled to a 2-1 advantage bit more as they finally surrendered their it was a significant drop-off from the and beyond,” Sblendorio added. “He had some opportunities in in his first three sets before outclassing first set loss of the year, winning over five that placed at the Roger Williams Just as Sblendorio has high ex- tight matches in the last two weeks, his Navy opponent 11-5 in the victory- Wellesley 8-1. Annie Maxwell ’15 willed Invitational on Nov. 16. pectations for his team, he didn’t spare but at this point in the season, Josh clinching final game. Despite pulling off a out a highly contested 3-2 victory at the “The team competed hard but did any criticism of his own performance, is in a real good place and he is only 3-0 win, all of Hart’s matches went down three spot, taking her final game 11-7. not come out with the results we expect despite his strong finishes in each of the going to get better,” Black said of to the wire as he outscored his opponent Abigail Smith ’17 also closed out an im- as Wesleyan wrestlers,” Sblendorio said. past two tournaments. his 197-pounder. “He has earned 12-10, 11-7 and 11-9 in the tempered pressive weekend run, pulling off a third “We’re a young team so there’s still a lot “I don’t think I performed any- a target on his back this year due battle. consecutive 3-0 victory at number nine. we need to learn going into the dual where close to where I should have, but to his qualification to the NCAA Despite the troubling result, the This Saturday, the women’s squad meet season.” it is the beginning of the season, so I am Championships as a freshman last Cardinals remain confident after the loss. will return to the Rosenbaum Squash The Cardinals faced many of the looking to build off from here as well,” year.” Veteran squasher Mike DeLalio ’15 drew Center for their first home matchup of the top teams in the country including Splendorio Said. As the wrestling season heats some positives from the outcome. season. The Birds will play host to Smith Springfield, Roger Williams, and Stevens While Head Coach Drew Black up and Wesleyan’s first dual meet “First of all we had a lot of close for the annual Wesleyan Round Robin. Institute of Technology. This was one also has higher expectations for his team, approaches, the Cardinals will try to matches with Navy, so we left knowing The following Sunday, the women’s squad of the tougher tournaments they will he understands the circumstances sur- get back on track at the Rochester that they are in reach as the season pro- will close out 2013 with matches against wrestle all season. Injuries have been a rounding this year. Institute of Technology Invitational gresses,” DeLalio remarked. “If anything William Smith College, Mount Holyoke nagging issue for the Cardinals, and it “We have a younger team this sea- this Saturday, Dec. 7. it was uplifting, because we have hope. College, and Vassar College. Survey Reveals The Holy Roman Empire Was a Dos and Don’ts for the Plague! Complex Political Union of Territories in The Black Death is the new black this fall, so we’ve put together Central Europe Existing From 962 to 1806 some tips for all of you feudal fashionistas. Make this devastating pandemic work for you! Historians have made Empire were characterized by Complex Political Union of guesses as to what was going a complex political union of Territories in Central Europe) Do: Pray for God to have mercy on your soul. on between the years 962 and territories in central Europe. beat out all three other op- Don’t: Pray in the same room as your spouse or other loved ones— 1806 for centuries, but these “With these kinds of num- tions in a nation-wide poll, they present a totally trashy risk of infection. guesses, while possibly valid, bers, it’s simply irrefutable,” proving that it is, without a Do: Dispose of your dead with as much dignity as possible. could never be stated as fact. historian Timothy Stunt as- shadow of a doubt, the whole Don’t: Hang around open mass graves for too long. The stench of Now, having polled our great sures naysayers who insist and inarguable truth. decaying bodies will overpower your perfume. citizens, we can finally be that, while there is an over- “The people have spoken,” Do: Seek a confined, comfortable space when tumors develop in sure. whelming probability that the said Ex-Secretary of State your armpits or groin. A staggering 42 percent of chosen explanation is correct, Hilary Clinton on this huge Don’t: Let your tumors burst and spill blood and puss in front of those polled indicated that the we should remain open to oth- win for the United States. others. This take on the trend is a touch too aggressive. nine hundred or so years we er options. “This is what democracy is Do: Ask the Lord to forgive you for your sins before you die. refer to as the Holy Roman The winning theory (A all about.” Don’t: Groan or scream as you succumb to death. Passing in si- lence is way more relevant this season.

Why Doesn’t Anyone Remember I Was President? After using my time-kite to my name would go down in his- in the census (albeit at 3/5ths the visit the future, I have to say that tory along with his and everyone value of whales)? The leader who I am disappointed with the quality else’s. That smug asshole. built the first trans-continental buf- of American education in modern I thought that getting my face fet line, or invited the Indians back times. Specifically, no one remem- on the currency with the highest from their nice vacation? I had so bers that I was president, or that value would insure my immortal- many important accomplishments, I was the first guy to use an um- ity, but the only people who think but Americans seem to remember brella for the sun. Seriously, how $100 bills are cool are wannabe me as nothing more than an idiot can people forget my presidency? rappers and thirteen year-olds. I who shocked himself in a lighten- Was it because I didn’t fight in any should have gone for a coin deal ing storm. wars? How can history neglect my like Thomas. I even wore a funny Maybe I should count my bless- complete extermination of the na- hat! I hated that triangular shit, but ings and be thankful that no one tive mole people? I really think I I thought for sure people would re- remembers much about me. It #gandhi #michaeljackson #elevator deserve a mention as more than the member a president with a hat. makes it easier to get laid if peo- #gandhiandmichaeljacksoninanelevator author of an almanac. Don’t people ever wonder ple don’t know about the problem I was always worried that I about the man who added the State with my “Benitalia” “Frankfurter” Robespierre’s List wasn’t as interesting as my friends. “Bentana” to the Union, or who “Lightning rod.” George tried to reassure me that allowed dolphins to be included Through my studies and observations, I have come to the realiza- tion that people are fundamentally good. There are, however, a few notable exceptions. These people must die so the Republic can live:

1. King Louis XVI was walking very slowly through a narrow corridor, and I could not pass him. 2. Jean-Baptiste Robert Lindet failed to use a coaster, and it left a ring. 3. Charles de Calonne broke into my room one evening and re- placed the top half of my deodorant with cream cheese. 4. Marquis de Lafayette declared his support for Team Peeta, which is completely ludicrous because Katniss obviously belongs with Gale. She doesn’t even like Peeta. 5. Jean-Paul Marat winked at me this morning. It made me feel unclean. 6. In his old age, Emmanuel-Joseph Sieyes’s face reminds me of a raisin.

The Ampersand: In it for the money. Sarah Esocoff, Editor; Ian McCarthy and Emilie Pass, Assistant Editors; Emma Singer, Queen of Layout. Sarah Esocoff, Survey; Nico “The Hedge” Hartman, Ben Franklin; Emilie “So Sad” Pass, Black Plague; Emma Singer, Gandhi and MJ; Melissa Misch- ell, The List; Emma Singer, Susan B. Anthony. Write for the Ampersand! E-mail [email protected]