Makhai Fascicle 1 (Raw) “Alala”
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MAKHAI FASCICLE 1 (RAW) This is only an incomplete fraction of MAKHAI. MAKHAI’s release is planned as 5 fascicles, each going through the stages of raw, rough and ready. “ALALA” This fascicle is RAW. Misspellings abound. Chapters may be incomplete, to be finished or abandoned. Lines shoot into margins, and text turns to notes which turn to gibberish. There are no illustrations. February 20th, 2015 MAKHAI by Mr. M-of-Eris Makhai, be- ing the Battles of Eris, as revealed by the All-Mum, Eris Dis- cordia, Lady of the Kallistic Kabbalah, Mistress of the Dungeons of Doubt, Keeperess of the Guesthouse of Kaos; she who is She, and She’s the One, the Daughter of Night, Sister Moon, Mother Fucker, etc., the diverse beginning, being and end- ing of all, except uninteresting things; and as recorded by the most unworthy and ineloquent and annoying and stupid and oh Goddess why me? Why me? Why not someone wiser and nicer and better with words and ideas? But there is but I, Episko- pos Trishop Epsilon, of the Church of Eris Erisian Eristic, the Reformed Church of Eris Eridian Eristic; being the Protector of the Antarctic (part-time), a Legionary of the Legion for the Advancement of the Ter- minally Confused, and the Grand Verpa Dragon of Ordre Belle Ebullience, Chaotica Anarchica Lacklaw Priory; and the Foe of Sport. ~ THE INVOCATION OF THE STAR-BEAST Hear me, five guardians of the black stone of heavens! I call on thee, King of Sagittarius, Lord of Carina! Step aside! I call on thee, Scutum-Crux, dread monarch! Step aside! I call on thee Norma-Cygnus, Cygnus-Norma, the heart’s holding hand! Step aside! I call on thee, o dreadful sky-shadow, Perseus! Step aside! I call on thee, red-handed huntsman, Orion! Step aside! By the power of the Ring of Monoceros, I compel thee! I bind thee! I command thee! In Sloan have I seen thee! Open the gate of Virgo; open the gate of the Stellar Stream; open, by the power of the Ring of Monoceros! I compel thee! (repeat until the result is achieved) THE LAKE OF BOÖTES The sleeper awakens, the sleeper in lye, The night comes, the interstitial night; Close lie the stars, stars bloom tonight; The fountain rises, the made mind rises, Want and will rises, willing all to be: Across time, across space, across being, What is not, shall be again, now again; Northern sky, celestial spine, Power of place, brightest star, Arek Tura, al-Poeetai, The lake, the fountain, the sleeper, Come forth! / Tower of marble, green veins and gold, The god awaiting, in dark beyond, Ibis on the wing, golden triangle eye, Bloodless face, steelshod deadly pace, Dreams eaten low, go up to cold hands, Be- hind you now, your awakening scream, Repeat this twenty, and this makes sense. / Spica, Betelgeuse, Deneb, Coxa Fomal- haut, the mouth of the fish Spica, Betelgeuse, Deneb, Coxa Night-Fomalhaut, moonlight pale Spica, Betelgeuse, Deneb, Coxa Sharp ever-Fomalhaut, home to one Spica, Betelgeuse, Deneb, Coxa Hearing dark at-Fomalhaut, alive Spica, Betelgeuse, Deneb, Coxa Tymbark, whaley, bridge of Fo- malhaut! / Aurigae, Ophiuchi, Ursae, Ursae Kaitos, Crucis, Eri- dani, Eridani Vulpeculae, Fornacis, Gruis, Gruis Ursae, Eri- dani, Gruis, Equulei, Equulei, Pedicabo ego vos et irrum- abo, e? TO SUMMON LAIS OF CORINTH Numquid, cum crisas, blandior esse potes? Imago imago imago. 1 Argument (Excerpted from Theon’s Sword of Heracles.) The Machai were daemons of strife and bloodshed, daugh- ters and sons of Eris, soldiers in the hosts of Enyo and Ares, the gods of war. The first among them was Alala, the ululating maiden of the war cry. Enyo’s war cry was ’ulule alalu’ and that of Ares, ’alale alala’; both were the cries of Alala. The brother and husband of Alala was Homados, he of the tumult of war. Where Alala was the cry of warriors, Homados was the cry of steel on steel; there is no need to transcribe that awful sound. The sisters Proioxis and Palioxis were women with the heads of hounds, and their part the herding of armies: the former was Onrush, the latter Backrush; between them, armies were battered into red ruin. Their shoes were red, their eyes bright, their ears perky and triangle-shaped [. ] studded with the skulls of dead men. The final of the Machai was Kydoimos; and she was not seen before her brothers and sisters, for she was Confusion, [. ] with a thousand voices, and no mouth. [. ] Among those that did not worship Zeus Xenios, much of this was forgotten even before the coming of the Dorians. 5 Contents 1 Argument 5 Contents 6 2 Sources 11 I Alala: ululations 13 3 The Church E.E.E. 17 4 Who is Eris? What is this? 19 5 Of the Golden Apple 23 6 For the Finnish reader 29 7 Of the children of Eris 35 7.1 The family of Eris . 35 7.2 Prometheus and Pandora . 36 7.3 Ancient Greeks: not very bright . 38 7.4 Anemones and apples . 39 7.5 The Second Apple of Eris . 40 7.6 How many apples? . 41 8 Family feuds 43 6 CONTENTS 9 After 85 10 Of “Of the Golden Apple” 87 10.1 Preliminary notes . 87 10.2 The Intotroduction . 89 10.3 The Nomineation . 90 10.4 The Bacchanalyasis . 94 10.5 The Circumauralsis . 97 11 Boycott the muses 101 12 Evangelize for Eris 105 13 Catmas of the e.e.e. 109 14 The Discordian Society 111 15 The Discordian Society (redo) 113 16 The coming war 115 17 The Curse of the Gr(a/e)yface 117 18 Eris in the skies 119 19 The False Buddha fragments 123 20 An unbeliever! 127 21 An extract from Principia Discordia 131 22 An extract from Not Principia Discordia 133 23 An extract from Come Again? 135 24 Black pearls 137 25 Trishop? 139 26 A brief sermon on good life 141 7 CONTENTS 27 Laughter and apathy 143 28 St. Confusius 145 29 A theorem of Lao Tzu’s 147 30 Pink litmus paper shirt 149 31 Insidious suggestions 157 32 Pirate the holy texts 159 33 EEEk! 163 34 Fan fiction 165 34.1 Fan fiction as a work of love . 166 34.2 Fan fiction as a different perspective . 173 34.3 Fan fiction in history . 175 34.4 Religion as fan fiction . 178 35 The Ur-Koan in full 183 36 Sacred obsolescence 185 37 Origins for familiar words 187 38 The theology of P and P 189 39 Chao and Herwe 191 40 The theology of Erisian poetry 195 41 Word proverbs 199 42 Colors of Magic 203 43 Discordianism as democracy 205 44 The Vision of H. Drocsid 209 8 CONTENTS 45 Meditations 213 45.1 Out of order . 213 45.2 In life, death . 214 45.3 Horror, laughter . 214 45.4 Discordianism is not a religion . 215 45.5 Overton window . 216 45.6 Insanity . 216 45.7 Offense . 217 45.8 Interfaith . 218 45.9 The Enemy . 219 45.10The passion of the passion . 220 45.11Heart-to-heart . 221 45.12Between extremes . 223 45.13Change your mind . 224 45.14The Truth . 225 45.15Certain doom . 225 45.16Indecision . 226 45.17False virtues . 227 45.18Innocence . 228 45.19Onrush . 228 45.20Subtlety . 229 45.21Gry . 230 45.22Mind modes . 230 45.23Aims . 231 46 Sharks in Minnesota 233 47 On False Gods 235 48 “U Can’t Touch This” 239 49 Gods and Goddesses 243 50 God wants 247 51 Eris-worship 249 51.1 Greece . 249 51.2 Rome . 250 9 CONTENTS 51.3 Vandalia . 251 51.4 China . 252 51.5 India . 253 51.6 Sumer . 254 51.7 Japan . 256 51.8 Nyarlathotep? . 258 51.9 To-do . 258 52 Truth is a glass statue 265 53 Theology of practical jokes 267 53.1 The argument . 267 53.2 Practical jokes as public art . 269 53.3 Practical jokes as self-examination . 270 53.4 Practical jokes in practice . 271 53.5 "Knock knock." — "Hannibal ad portas?" . 271 53.6 What is not success . 273 53.7 Nobody there . 274 53.8 Sage in the shadows . 275 53.9 Nothing to lose but our dignity . 276 53.10Don’t be a brute . 277 53.11Stores . 278 53.12Don’t get angry . 280 53.13Bump . 280 53.14From the TV Guide . 281 53.15Suit up . 281 53.16The joker as a tool . 283 53.17Moar . 284 54 Got¯ o¯ dialogues 291 10 2 Sources First there was the first holy book, Erisiana. It was shit, though the author thought it was the shit. Then the second holy book, Book of the Light Warrior. It was the same story. Then, because such torrents of shite never cease, there was the holy website, Mirrors of Eris, and everywhere in spat- ters on the edges of all this was the holy blog, Masks of Eris. All in all, lots of shite. After much polishing, and much subtraction and addi- tion, this holy book, Makhai of Eris, has resulted. This book alludes to, but does not contain, the first bible of the Erisian Movement, Principia Discordia (which is a real book), by Malaclypse the Younger and Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. It can be found in many places, including the Internet. Wherever you find it, you also find good people. Finally: whosoever adds to this book, is blessed. Whoso- ever changes these words, is beloved. Whosoever takes away from these words or abridges or distorts them, is a trans- forming Agent of the Goddess whose feet this poor and fat author is not fit to kiss.