Heroin Kills; context and meaning in contemporaryart practice

JoanneElizabethTatham

Submitted in accordance with the requirements for the degree of PhD in Fine Art Studio Practice

The University of Leeds School of Fine Art, History of Art and Cultural Studies

August 2004

The candidateconfirms that the work submitted is her own and that appropriate credit has been given where referencehas been made to the work of others. This copy has been supplied on the understandingthat it is copyright material and that no quotation from the thesismay be published without proper acknowledgement 2

Acknowledgements

The researchsubmitted here has been completedwith the assistanceand support of many people, including Lars Bang Larsen, Robert Johnston,Will Bradley and Alexia Holt, who all contributed to the realisation of the HK publication. I would also like to acknowledgethe financial assistanceprovided by, amongstothers, the ScottishArts Council, The Modem Institute and Tramway, as well as the Burton Family Trust. Finally, I would particularly like to acknowledge Tom O'Sullivan's role within the ongoing HK project. Abstract

Heroin Kills; context and meaning in contemporaryart practice is a thesis comprising of two parts; the HK publication and a separatewritten submission. Since 2000 I have worked simultaneously as a Fine Art research student within the University of Leeds and as a professional artist within the context of contemporary art. This thesis aims to negotiate these two parallel yet distinct sites, within which art practice occurs. The two contexts make different demands of art practice. They do not operate within a common discourse and they do not necessarily use the same systems to validate art activity. As such, art means differently within each of these two contexts. This thesis usesthese differences of context to enablea considerationof how art, in the form of objects, imagesand words, means.Concurrently, the thesis then usesthis potential for different meaningsto articulate the distinctions that exist betweenthese two contextsas sites for art. The HK publication exists both as a componentelement of the thesis and separatelyoutside of the context of the PhD as a handbookfor the HK project. The HK project has been enabledby the context of contemporaryart and this remains a principal signifying site for the publication. The PhD thesis re-presentsand re- frames the HK publication. The publication functions through how and where it is positioned, drawing attention to the mechanicsof its presentationas it does so. The written elementof the thesis considersthe relationship that exists betweenan artwork and the written word. The writing attemptsto presentan alternative method for taking account of the contexts for the production, exhibition and disseminationof art by constructing a narrative aroundHK that provides an accountparallel to the HK publication. The two elementsof the thesiswork togetherto considerthe context of the Fine Art practice PhD as a site for meaning for contemporaryart. I hope HK, the project that residesbehind, above and beyond this thesis, survives this process. CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE 5 CHAPTER TWO 14 CHAPTER THREE 20 CHAPTER FOUR 33 CHAPTER FIVE 47

AFTERWORD 57 BIBLIOGRAPHY AND REFERENCES 74 5

CHAPTER ONE

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 10/7/01 5:27pm SUBJECT: from Lars Hi Joanneand Tom, I just sent off a mail to Alexia saying that I will be happy to write a text for your Tramway exhibition. The outline of your project sounds absolutely great, so it will be really interesting to write this! Maybe the best thing would be to have a chat on the phone about things, because I am basically only familiar with your work through the Berlin showing of The Glamour (and C--2s praises).On what number can I reachyou? I'm travelling at the moment, but my home # is +45 3225 1989, mobile +45 2117 3397. Speak soon then, Lars

FROM: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsj akob @planet. dk DATE: 11/7/01 10.3lam SUBJECT: from Joanneand Tom Hi Lars It's great that you're happy to do a piece of writing for us! We really enjoyed your piece on The Glamour for Art Forum. We're also interestedin your writings about the social function of Art, relational aestheticsetc. It would be great to have something that brought the two together (! ), but really, we would be very happy with whatever you wanted to write. We could sendyou someslides to show you what we have been up to. We also have somebits of writing by Christian on our work, which might be useful for you. Perhapsit would be best for you to seethis before we talk? Have you got an addresswe can sendstuff to? 6

Our telephoneno is +44 141 323 1990 Hope to hear from you soon. Joanne& Tom

FROM: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsj akob@planet. dk DATE: 14/8/01 11.37am SUBJECT: HK Hi Lars

Hope you had a nice holiday. Did you receive the slides we sent? Some of the work is quite distant now, but we thought we'd send it anyway. We're hoping your writing will work as another elementwithin the project. We've beenthinking about the way the "critical essay" functions within the art exhibition. At the moment we're thinking the essaywill be printed as a poster/publication, which we're designing with R-. HEROIN KILLS is after all just a big bit of design typography - and we want the whole / typographic thing to work together. We seethe presentationsby the Glasgow drug support groups as having a similar curious relationship within the project. Officially it provides a context of useful information for the HEROIN KILLS sculpture - but only if a viewer seesthe work in a literal way. There is a plan to do a cataloguetype publication after the show. We like the idea that this is maybe a year plus later. We went in a couple of weeks ago to build a trial letter R, which went very well. The scalewas suchthat it was easily possibleto walk under the arch of the R! We're talking to Alexia about getting somemoney so we could maybemeet up and talk. We'll let you know. best wishes Tom and Joanne 7

FROM: [email protected]

TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 15/8/01 10:22am SUBJECT: Sv: HK

Hi Joanne, hi Tom!

Thanks a lot for the material you sent me -I received it already a few days after we talked on the phone. It looks great, it should provide me with background knowledge of your work. I will spendthe weekendwith it and try to think of ways to approachthe text in the light of what we've talked about. The trial run of the R soundswild! I really like the idea of messedup scale relationships. It would be great if we could meet up in Glasgow, I would love to come over if possible so we could have a chat about everything. I think it would also be useful if I could do someresearch in Glasgow in relation to the drug scene/problemand the way it is dealt with there. Anyway I'll sit down and have a look and a think about it. Let's talk on the phone Tuesdayor Wednesdaynext week. I will be in Helsinki and will give you a call then. Take care,best to C- and A- if you talk to them. Lars

"Hi Lars. It's Tom. We heard from C- that you're coming over to Glasgow next week We're just wondering if you were hoping to meet with any of the drug support groups while you were here, just we've only just sent offff introduction letters and it might be too short notice to setup meetings. We're sort of hoping you might have your own idea about how to go about checking out the context over here, but if there's anything we can do before you arrive let us know. Olc bye. "

"Hi Tom and Joanne, it's Lars here. I arrive in Glasgow on Wednesday afternoon and Im staying through to Saturday. Sorry for not being in touch before. G- is also in town with work then and we'll be sharing a hotel. Ok, I look forward to seeing you then. " 8

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 10/9/01 12:28am SUBJECT: Sv: HK Hi Joanne,hi Tom, A brief mail just to say hi. It was very nice to meet you in Glasgow last week and talk about the HK project (and art and life in general!). I'm very excited about HK and looking forward to writing the text. It feels good to be working with you and R- on this project. I'll let you know how the writing goes...don't think there's any risk of writing blocks this time though. Looking forward to talking again. I'm back from Stockholm on Thursday and I will call you then. Best, Lars

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsjakob@planet. dk DATE: 11/9/019.50pm SUBJECT: Re: Sv: HK Hello Lars

It was really good to meet you. It madeus think hard about certain aspectsof the looking forward project again - which is always good and we're to your writing. We've arrangedto meet people from the Glasgow Association of Family Support Groups and Phoenix houserehabilitation centre later this week. We'll let you know how that goes. Here's the contact for Ken Butler at the Council that you askedfor. I think he's happy to help, but he is quite busy. His phone no. is + 44 (0)141233 6061. I think their researcherat the council is called David Macpherson. We're just watching eventsin New York on TV... Tom and Joanne 9

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsjakob@planet dk DATE: 21/9/019.50pm SUBJECT: HK update Hi Lars How's things?

We have met up with two of the Glasgow drug support groups - Phoenix House and Glasgow Association of Family support groups. Phoenix House is a residential programme for those who are coming off heroin. It is a privately run organisation if but residents are funded by the council. I thought I'd pass on the website you want to know what they do - www. phoenixhouse. org. uk Glasgow Association of Family support groups is an umbrella organisation,run by its members,of about fifty community support groups. We met one of the associationmembers, who was very open about talking to us about the association and about giving us information and leaflets we could display. Again, they had no problem with the idea of the exhibition. They have a quilt that is a patchwork of memorials by family and friends of people who have died from heroin overdoses. Its a bit like the U. S Aids quilt, but much smaller scale.It's a very poignant representation.We meet the associationagain early next week and hope to get some documentationof the quilt and other info, which we will then sendon to you. Best wishes, Tom and Joanne

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 3/10/01 5:40am SUBJECT: HK Hi Joanne,hi Tom!

I am now finished with the text, but I would like to sit on it (or rather sleep on it) till tomorrow. Hope this is OK. Then we can maybe have a telephone congress about it on Friday. Take care, Lars 10

"Hi Tom, hi Joanne, its Lars here. Wednesdayturned into Friday morning... sorry. I'm sending the text now. Let's speaklater today. Ok, bye.11

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 51/10/01 9.27am

SUBJECT: Re: here is a text for you Hi Lars

We'll read it now. Speakto you later. Joanne

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 9/10/01 6: 01pm

SUBJECT: addition! Hello there J+T,

I'm happy you liked the text! Like I said it was great fun to write it. Hope everything's otherwise going well with the preparations. Got a mail from Alexia yesterday re: talking about your work... maybe we could do some kind of performance ("") together? Let's speak tomorrow on the phone, also about the editing of the text perhaps. Let me call you when I get back from Helsinki. Also, I have an addition to the text. I came acrossthis ChineseRed Army slogan which seemsquite appropriatein the context of HK: "One could say that it is not the two that recomposein one, but the one that opens into two. " I'd like to proposethat we insert it after paragraph6. What do you think? Speak soon, take care. Lars 11

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsjakob @pl anet dk DATE: 9/10/01 9.00pm SUBJECT: Hi from Tom Hi Lars

Thanks for the note. I've just got in from teaching and I'm teaching again early tomorrow. Joanneis away in Leeds.How about talking Thursdaymorning? Thought you might like to seethe attached- the draft design for front and back of the HK handout. Speakto you soon, Tom.

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 9/10/016: 01pm

SUBJECT: Sv: HK poster

Looks great, can't wait to see it "live"! Speak soon, Lars

FROM: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsjakob@planet. dk DATE: 6/11/01 10.11pm SUBJECT: Hi from Tom and Joanne Hi Lars

We have been so busy with the HK project (and teaching) I haven't got round to giving you a call. The building is going very well; the R, 0 and S are up and look really great! Tom 12

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 14/11/01 3: 13pm SUBJECT: Sv: Hi from Tom and Joanne Hi there Tom and Joanne! I can imagine things are pretty hectic for you right now... Hope everything's going well with HK. Sorry for not having got back to you before now - I've been in Berlin. We should talk about our talk! Give us a call tomorrow morning if that's convenient, on my mobile and I can call you back from our landline. Cheers,Lars

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 17/11/01 5: 16pm

SUBJECT: no subject Hi Tom, hi Joanne,

I'm glad everything is going well with the building. I'm now back in Copenhagen and I leave for Glasgow on Wednesday.I'll call you then. Seeyou soon, take care, Lars

FROM: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net

TO: larsj akob@planet dk DATE: 11/12/016.08pm SUBJECT: Farewell to an idea... Hi Lars Attached are the edited transcriptionswe did for HK (apart from one for various reasons).Also, here'sthe details of the TJ Clarke book I kept going on about: from History Modernism" "Farewell to an Idea - Episodes a of TJ Clarke Yale University Press ISBN 0300089104 1999

Have a very good Christmas and see you in the New Year. Tom 13

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 12/12/019: 17pm

SUBJECT: Sv: Farewell to an idea... Hi Joanne,hi Tom,

Thanks a lot for the last time in Glasgow, it was a great experience to see HK and take part in the seminar! I've been propagating your production in Copenhagen so your audience should be well prepared when you land in April... By the way, please let me know if I should try and set something up in terms of talks and stuff when you are around, maybe I can be of help. TJ Clarke is definitely going on my list of Xmas wishes. I'm in SaoPaulo right now, but I'll be in Glasgow by the beginning of the New Year, so seeyou then. Take care, and have a merry Christmas! Lars 14

CHAPTER TWO

Scene: a small room with a table and a number of chairs. Thefurniture is institutional; grey plastic chairs and a table with a scratched plastic surface and thin black steel legs. The room is dark with only a small window. The light from the window is further decreased by the slatted venetian blind that hangs partially shut over the window. The view afforded through the slats of the blind offers no recognisable feature. The walls of the room are painted a pale green. Their appearance is again institutional. Thefinish of the paint is shiny and durable, as if long applied in anticipation that it will soon need to be wiped clean. On the wall feature opposite the table hangs a large patchwork banner. Its the one of note drabness within the room and provides a brightly coloured counterpoint to the of the decor. The wall hanging is composed of separate pieces of fabric, each of which has been embroidered in commemoration of a relative or friend who has died as a consequence of heroin use. The squares contain the names of the deceased and their Some ages. Some are in their teens, some in their twenties, some in their thirties. of the squares also contain anti drugs messages, such as heroin kills, drugs screw you up and don't die of ignorance. Two people sit at the table, a man and a woman. There is a tape recorder between them. One of them leans forward to turn on the tape recorder.

Q: How did you get involved with the centre here?

A: I heard about this through other folk that I knew. Then my drugs worker got me a place. It was a day programme,and I was interestedin that. Its not residential like the place up the road and its a lot more relaxed here. You're here and you're back in the community, you know. My drugs worker told me more about the place, and I'm like, that's really good. I'll give it a try.

Q: You said before that you'd been using since your teens. How did you get involved with drug use? 15

A: I started off smoking hash and I enjoyed it. Before that I was buzzing gas, glue and then got into using other stuff. My Mum brought us up with good morals, but the expectations that she put onto me were that I'd be like my older brothers and sisters, that I would go to school, get good qualifications, maybe even go to university... But, my Dad was an alcoholic and he used to always have a go at me, you know he would be constantly like this, you wee rat, you worthless shite. That's what he was like. He used to batter my Mum and all that too and I used to just go off with my pals. It was something we were all doing. I thought I was cool and nothing that'd I heard, that it was bad for you, or that it was illegal, had any affect on me.

(There's a knock at the door and a middle-aged woman starts to enter the room. When she realises the room is occupied, she apologises, steps back and shuts the door behind her.)

Q: How long was it before you startedusing heroin?

A: I was introduced to it by someone I looked up to, someone older than me that I had respect for at that time. I'd progressed right through the recreational drugs, I was buzzing glue, then I got into smoking hash. I was drinking, taking speed. I was always chasing something, chasing that extra buzz. So, what happened was I tried it and it became part of my life, on and off, for the last fifteen years. What you've got to remember is that I enjoyed using drugs. In my life, at that point, I could use them to control how I felt, you know, and that was something I needed. For a long time I managed to find ways to control my using so that I could use and I'd still be okay. I always thought I could just drop it when I needed to. Money wasn't a problem because I used to sell, and money was always there for me.

Q: You mentionedthat this wasn't the first time you've been involved with a group like this. When did you first think you had a problem? 16

A: The people I worked for left me in the lurch and I've never been in so much pain before. I thought I'd got things under control, but I ended up having to do things that I regret now. I was in a bad place. I ended up going to the North Street Centre, the crisis centre. I stayed there for a wee while, tried to get myself together. That's when

I realised that I was dying and that - well, I was not just physically sick - but that inside me I was dying. You see, if you're using, what it does to you, is it takes away how you feel. I was at a point where I realised I felt nothing.

(The man begins to coil the wire from his clip-on mit around his finger)

Q: So, you felt you'd hit rock bottom?

A: Yeah, I felt I was as low as it can be. But since then, I was in the crisis centre four times before I realised I needed to do something. It took me three years from that point, from realising I had a problem to deciding to do something about it. I saw that I needed to do something long term and I got myself into residential rehab. I needed to find out what was wrong with me, you know, that I needed to keep going back and taking the drugs. I'd lost everything you know by that point. I'd lost my family. I couldn't see my kids... I was sleeping in the street. I was totally burnt out with the whole lifestyle by that point. So I got myself a drugs worker and she sorted out for me to go to the rehab centre, but I screwed up. I was there for six months, seven months and then I left and it was a big mistake and I was straight back into it all again. I was very angry with myself, yes, because I'd had it all going for me. I went back to my drugs worker, and I had to really push to get back in. There's all sorts of expectations that get put onto you and I'd messed up once, you know. In the end I had to leave of my own accord and that was two years ago. I thought I could leave on good terms and get transferred somewhere else, but it's all down to funding. Because I'd already had a couple of shots at rehab, I was put to the bottom of the pile. 17

Q: How are things working out now, here at the centre?

A: It's going great and I've got a much better outlook on life now. I know what I want now, becausein the past,I think it was with my family and all that and with them always putting me down, I wasn't interestedin anything. I get a lot of inspiration from ex users.I've got pals who I usedto use with... they're out there doing counselling work, community work, that kind of thing. I've got a focus now that I usedto lack in my life before.

(The woman has picked up a pen and, while not shifting her attention from the man across the table, has begun to make a series of small lines around the edge of folded leaflet in front of her.)

Q: I was wondering how things are structuredhere. What kind of help are you getting?

A: Its a nine month programme,with different stagesthat you go through. I'm doing a courseon money managementright now, becauseit always goesright through my fingers. That's stagetwo - there'sthree stages.You start off doing stuff about your feelings and dealing with stress,anger managementand all of that and there'salso, er, more practical things like computers.A lot of it's about coping, it's about talking to other recoveringusers and that helps me learn how to cope. It meansI don't feel so isolated as I usedto feel becauseI'm learning how to share how what goeson inside my head.I had zero social skills before. It's knowing to just do small things, everyday small talk. I'm not getting any younger. I've wasteda lot of my life using, you know, and I want to experiencelife now, do things. I want to travel, go placeswith my kids.

Q: Could you tell me about the quilt on the wall over there?

(Both the man and the woman turn to look at the patchwork banner) 18

A: There'sa bereavementgroup... part of the family supportthey run for families and friends of users,ex-users too. They made this to rememberthe folk who died. It's quite affecting for someonelike myself. There's namesup there... people I used to know. It puts things directly in your face...

(The man starts to pick at somethingon the sleeveof his top.)

Kills". Q: We spoke before about the sculpture at Tramway that will say "Heroin What do you think about those words?

A: Well, look around in here (The speakergestures towards the banner). The reality is heroin doeskill, you know, but it takes away your soul before it doesaway with it kills It's your body. That's what heroin kills, and all drugs really, I think your soul. not just the physical or emotional stuff, it's much deeperthan that. Seethe crisis centre,you should go and sit in the waiting room for twenty minutes; and that's why does "Deal it" its it annoysme so much - the Daily Record this with campaign, all Death to the Dealers and all that, and if someone'shouse gets burgled then a junkie must have done it. That's all just ranting and raving, it's pure ignorance. My Mum family was like that and then she started to read up on stuff. She joined a group and she'schanged a lot, I've never seenher the way she is now. Its about talking to other folk, making connections.That's how I'm planning on surviving.

here? Q: What are your plans for when you finish the programme

is keep A: Like I said before, I'm not getting any younger and the first thing to off the heroin. Its a sad and pathetic way to be. I'd like to... I dunno, there's not a lot of stuff for someone at my age, unless, well, I mean I'm not going to go to university or anything now. It's not that I'd say I wasn't bright it's just that I'm more streetwise than anything. Maybe I put myself down too much. I don't know, I just love doing things, that's what I'll do. 19

Q: Is it okay if we call it a day there? Do you think you've said what you wanted to say?

A: Yeah, that's fine. Turn it off.

(After a moment's pause, the tape recorder is turned off.) 20

CHAPTER THREE

Day One

It was still dark as we finally got down to work. IN had been a long evening and the day's work was only just beginning. We'd startedthe night off at a party, before making our way over to the gallery via a couple of the South Side'smore salubriousbars. Luckily the effects of the alcohol were now beginning to wear off. I'd knocked out those last couple of glassesof wine pretty quickly and that seemed to have done the trick. As I startedto sober up I noticed how exhaustedI was. Things would only improve from here. We all changed out of our clean clothes, replacing them with old jeans, t- shirts and overalls. It was going to be dirty work. As I walked into the gallery, I saw that Henrik was already in there. This didn't surpriseme. It was as much his project as anyone'sI guess.He was kneeling behind the S, working away at somedetail. He must have decidedthat was the best place to begin the unconstruction.He was carefully removing the paint with a small brush. It might have seemedabsurd to begin such a massiveundertaking in such a small way, but it wasn't up to me make those sort of decisions.Henrik must have heard us walk in. He stood up and came over to join the group. Even though Henrik was the one leading the unconstruction,we didn't expect him to start issuing any orders.It didn't really work like that; it was much more relaxed, more casual.We stood around chatting for five minutes, maybe more, and eventually one or other of the group would leave, heading off towards the storeroomarea. Then, it wasjust, Henrik, Rineke and myself left chatting. Rineke finished her cigaretteand placed it back betweenthe silver foil, and we made our way over to the storeroom. Over in the store, a couple of the team were unrinsing out plastic trays and rollers in preparationfor the paint removal. It was going to be quite a task. I reckonedthat it'd be to at least two or three days work before we'd uncover all the MDF. Each of the eleven letters was covered with a least three coatsof vinyl black emulsion, with eachlayer having to be removed separately. 21

Someof the team were carrying out laddersand I could seethat Henrik had got the scaffolding tower wheeled out already. We'd probably needto use the big cherry picker too. The letters were massive,nearly six metreshigh, and that meant a lot of paint. The empty pots were scatteredaround the gallery, ready to store it in. I picked one up along with a tray, a roller and a long wooden pole. When I got out into the gallery, I saw Olaf and Naoto already up the scaffolding tower over by the K. They were frantically removing the first coat of paint, rolling the black liquid back into trays. Other members of the team were dragging dust cloths into place below the letters so we could catch the paint drips up from the floor. It was hard to know where to start when there was no reason to be methodical. These things always ended at the same place, wherever you began. I fitted my roller onto the pole and angled it up towards the top of the S and began to roller the paint off in quick short strips. By lunchtime we seemedto be making good progress.The K and the S were already showing IvIDF through. The coatsof paint were coming off quickly, with barely half an hour passingbefore the next layer was wet enoughto begin stripping. I took my lunch with Rineke, Laszlo and Lukas. It was a quick break,just enough time to take our food out, and then we were straight back in the gallery. The first few days of the unconstructionwere always like this: long days, short breaksand everyonefeeling worn out and exhausted. Henrik was still in the gallery, working away at the S. Even though the team were still removing the paint, he'd already startedto nail loose one of the MDF panelsthat clad the front of the letter. At the other side of the S, Keith was up on the platform of the hydraulic lift, reshapingan MDF panel before it was removed.The paceof work was still frantic. I wonderedwhen we'd be getting our first requisition order in. The earlier orderswere usually for small stuff, just a box of screws,or a couple of bolts. It was only as the unconstructionneared its conclusion that the big stuff startedto shift off. By nine thirty there was barely light left in the sky. We worked on until our trays were full and then tipped the paint back into the containers,leaving the rollers wrapped in plastic bagsready for the following day. As we left, the team pausedfor 22 a moment to assessthe unconstruction we'd completed so far. There was a detectable patchiness here and there on the letters that formed the word HEROIN, although other areas were a persistent and overwhelming matt black. The letters forming KILLS were much further on. The S was most progressed, although it was frustrating to see how slowly the curved side panels were coming off. The gallery itself was beginning to fill up with all the necessary raw material of an unconstruction. Erik had been busy most of the morning emptying out sawdust at specific locations across the gallery floor. The sawdust was essential part of the constitution process. He'd also begun to carry out some of the MDF cut-ons that were kept in the store. The cut-ons intrigued me. These curious shapes would somehow be united, piece by piece, to form the rectangular eight by four sheets required for requisition.

Day Two Today saw the first requisition order of the unconstruction.Six rawl bolts for Donald Brothers. As always the order was ready and waiting to go. I took the delivery, returning with the £11.71 cash.Henrik took the call afterwardsto confirm the details.

Day Four An early start, working through from ten o'clock first thing in the evening to nine in the morning. The team startedthe shift exhaustedand little was achieved before the first break of the day. Daylight, what there was of it, was somesix hours away. I was still rolling the black paint off. After three days, the musclesin my arms were eventually easinginto the job and the achesand pains were beginning to lessen.The bad news was that a faint scar had appearedon the edgeof my thumb. I flinched at the thought of the wound that would open. It looked like a ten dayer to me. The paint was nearly all off by now. Läszlö, Lukas and me were completing the final removal. Rows of filled pots were already stackedon the pallet, ready for requisition at some future date. We'd left the lower reachesof the letters until last. It 23 wasjust easierthat way. It was a satisfying feeling to take off a final layer of paint and reveal the smooth MDF underneath.Maybe it soundsstrange, but as eachletter was individually uncovered,it would becomealmost complete.I often had moments like that during an unconstruction,where I wished it the processcould stop before it went any further. I wanted a chanceto take stock of what had been uncompletedso far. Maybe it wasjust the haphazardnature of the unconstructionthat frustrated me. As I finally finished removing the last strip of paint from the R, eachof the other letters would be moving along through the various statesof unassembly.The processwould only be completewhen the gallery was finally empty.

Day Five Monday already! Now that the paint was finally off, the team were working in twos and threesto completeparticular tasks. I joined Erik and Ingmar unfilling the cracks betweenthe MDF panels.It was a tediousjob. First we had to slowly rub on layers of dry unfiller, then wait for it to soften before skimming it off using wide palette knives. I startedback at work on the R, this time working my way up the structure.Even with a stepladderthere were still severalmetres that were well beyond my reach.Rineke had managedto get use of the scaffolding tower and was working her way along the upper panelsof the letters that still neededunfilling. Many of the letters were now unconstructedwell beyond that stage.Keith and Naoto had been up in the hydraulic lift firing the nails out of the upper boards.The nails were all carefully placed into small cardboardboxes, while the sheetsof MDF were taken down one by one and piled up onto a flatbed trolley. The S had receivedthe full attention of the team during the first few days of the unconstruction.The timber structureunder the side panelswas fully revealed, while the front and back of the letter was stripped down to the plywood under layer. Henrik had now moved his attention to someof the other more complex letters. The K, for example,now existed only as a timber outline and the N was not much far behind. The tops of the Is, the Ls and the sides of the 0 were similarly insubstantial. 24

The secondrequisition order of the unconstructionwas collectedjust after lunch: three nine inch roller frames,three twelve inch roller frames,three nine inch paint trays and three tubs of unfiller. The paint trays and rollers had been wrapped and ready to go since the day before, but I wasjust completing the final tub of unfiller as the collector from Akzo Noble walked in through the door. This was an account payment,so no cashchanged hands. With tomorrow being the weekend,we knew it was likely we'd get another requisition order in before the shift was through. We might all be working over the weekend,but the companieswe supplied would be shut until four o'clock Friday at the earliest. Sure enough,just after ten, Henrik emergedfrom his office with the delivery notice. It was a big order. Sixty sheetsof nine millimetre MDF and fifty metresof two inch by four inch CLS plus the stack of nail boxes that Keith and Naoto had been filling all day. We'd get nearly £500 for that lot. Santiago,Olaf and Henrik carried over the last few sheetsof MDF from the workbencheswhere they'd been assembledand wheeledthem out to the truck waiting outside. I took up one end of the lengths of CLS, with Lukas and Läszl6 taking the weight in the middle and at the far end. Outside there was the usual banter as the MDF was loadedup onto the truck. After the truck had driven off we stood around chatting for a few minutes, all shifting feet and rubbing hands in the frosty air. Back inside, it felt like someof the senseof urgency had lifted. It was often like that just after we'd got a big order out. All of us, even Henrik, were hanging around a bit aimlessly, as if we were waiting for somethingto happen.After fifteen minutes or so the team startedto drift off one by one. I collected my things and mademy way out into the cold morning twilight.

Day Six The entire team was neededback in for the weekendshift. Sundaysare time and a half, which meanswe pay out one and half times as much for eachhour we work. My usual hourly paybackrate increasesfrom £5.77 to £8.65 and even though it had all been paid out weeksback, it was still an annoyancewhen it cameto actually working the shift. 25

Day Seven

I think today it dawnedon the teamjust how much work there's still left to do. The real work of the unconstructionhas barely begun. Getting the paint off was just the start. That was easygoing comparedto unassemblingthese giant letters. Then we have to take all the raw materials and constitute them to the level required for the requisitions. It's exacting stuff. Okay, so someof the MDF sheetsmight look like they just need one or two joins made in them, but then there'll be a strip missing off an end or something.It can take days for all the piecesto finally come together. Henrik, Keith, Naoto and Olaf were taking care of most of the heavy stuff. The less skilled membersof the team were working on the details, such as sanding up the edgesof the MDF boards.Santiago had already swept out great piles of sawdustand wood shavingsaround the bottom of the letters. Some of theselarger pieceswould take more than sandingto join them to the panels.It was very important to get such detailing right at this stage,otherwise you might end up with an incomplete sheet,stuck with a join or something which didn't quite match up. Not that this ever happened,we always made sure all the edgeswere sandedup just the right amount. It took fine judgement to know when to switch off the sander.You had to use your eyes and your brain, but it was also an instinctive thing. I worked on gut feeling a lot. By the end of the day, I was starting to feel pretty rough. Maybe it was the noise from the sandingmachine, because my head was splitting. I endedthe day crawling into bed straight after I got home,just managing to get one strong black coffee out before I crashedin.

Day Eight

Henrik had given us a late start today. I'd woken up at one that morning, my head spinning with alcohol. Well, that explained the headacheI'd had earlier. I staggeredout to meet the rest of the team in the pub for our traditional start of the week drinking session.As usual, we all gradually soberedup in time to start work. 26

We were now entering the mid-phaseof the unconstruction.The K and the N had completely vanishedfrom the line of letters. Some of the other letters, such as the Is and the Ls were strippedback to such an extent that they were no longer recognisableas letters. The solidity of the structure was starting to break down. It was no longer at all clear what two words had been spelt out before we got to work. The team had also startedto realign the remaining letters, gradually moving them away from the two perfectly parallel lines they had originally followed. It was a satisfying sight.

Day Ten The big event today was to get the S lowered from its vertical position and get it flat down on the floor. This would make it easierfor the team to continue stripping the letter of its wood. The plywood under the top layer of MDF was twelve millimetres thick and would go onto form somevery large heavy sheetsonce it had been constitutedup. The letter was both too heavy and too high to get down without a bit of mechanicalintervention. Henrik was also concernedthat the CLS struts battenedaround the edge of the curves would have no supportif the ply was removed whilst the letter was still in. It following like upright - causingthe whole thing to crash was through things this that madethe unconstructionsuch a lengthy process.There were no short cuts. Each step had to be followed through carefully and at the appointedtime. The team were going to need some assistanceand Henrik had askedthe guys who rigged the lights for the theatreto come and help. The first thing was to get the pulley chain fastenedto a suitable spot above the letter. The riggers took the hydraulic lift and drove it over to a spotjust behind the S. High above us, one of the guys steppedout onto the beam and beganto attach the pulley, first to the beam, then onto the letter. Once they were back on the ground, the riggers took control of the pulley chain, whilst our team bracedagainst the bottom of the letter. It slowly beganto swing out of position, and then lifted several inches off the ground. There was now a real tension, real concentration.This was a very heavy massof wood and screws.There was an alarming screechingnoise as the wood strained againstits 27

own weight. With a lot of frantic shouting Henrik managedto get the lower edge of the S back on the ground, and then gradually we beganto lower the letter to the floor. The team guided the letter down with our arms stretchedabove our heads, while the chain rattled through the pulley. The scale of the project really kicked in. We were completely dwarfed by the massivestructure being lowered down. As the S droppedtowards the horizontal, the team moved to the sidesof the structure to steadyit onto the ground. The chain went slack as the letter finally settled to the floor. Henrik and Keith unscrewedthe planks they'd usedto help securethe structure and the rest of the team gradually moved off to continue with their own tasks.I'd been helping Erik constitute lengths of CLS that had been removed from the letters. Different lengths had been left in piles after being removed. Our job was to saw them together and then measurewhere eachjoin had been after we'd done so. Each measurementwas then off checkedagainst our list. The pile of sawdustat our feet was gradually receding,although we knew that there would be plenty more bags delivered before the unconstructionwas complete.

Day Eleven The team was starting to lose numbers.Ingmar and Lukas hadn't been in since Wednesdayand today Naoto had also failed to show up. As the letters gradually becameconstituted up into the completedpanels and lengths of timber, there was less work to do and the work that did remain was becoming increasingly specialised.From the figures on my payback slips I reckonedthat I'd be seeingthis unconstructionthrough to the end, or as good as.

Day Twelve Monday again already.I woke with a sharppain in my hand. I'd been aware of the scar gradually opening up over the week and it looked like today was the day. I preparedmyself by peeling off the clean pink plaster and replacing it with a grubby, slightly blood stainedone. 28

The afternoon was busy and productive. When I arrived Henrik was already up in the hydraulic lift, unfitting someof the last MDF panelsfrom the curve of the 0. I joined Läszlö and Rineke working on the E. The E still containeda lot of raw material which neededto be constitutedup in time for the next requisition. I'd seen the paperwork on Henrik's desk and knew we were expecting a large collection later that day. It was sometimessurprisingly slow work unfitting the MDF panels.It wasn't so simple asjust unscrewingthem and taking them down. Sometimeswe'd find ourselvestaking down a panel, then adding an edge on here or there, and then putting it back up again. This proceduremight have to be repeatedseveral times before we'd get the right shapeand size. It was a frustrating processthat could take half an hour or so for eachof the panels.The uncompleteMDF sheetsthen had to be measured,sawn back together and then measuredagain, before finally being taken over to the neat stack piling up by the door ready for the collection. By the end of the lunch break my hand was really quite painful. I took off the grubby plaster and replacedit with a wad of bloody tissue paper, strapped around my hand with severallong strips of masking tape. It was makeshift, but I imagined I wouldn't needit for much longer. Just half an hour later and I found myself back in the toilets, with my hand in the sink, blood and water pouring up out of the plug-hole. The water turned from clear to pink to red. The pain really was quite immense.I flinched as I caught sight of the raw wound. I rushedback out to the gallery as quick as I could. The team were also making their way over to the workbench where I'd been sawing the MDF up before lunch. I picked up the jigsaw clumsily, feeling dizzied by the throbbing and the shock of the situation. I don't rememberexactly what happenednext. I think I only just caughtthe edge of my palm with the blade, but it was enoughto stop the bleeding and the pain instantly. Theseincidents were stressful,obviously. It was the countdown to the inevitable I suppose,as symptomsworsened, pains sharpenedand scarsunhealed. Afterwards, I wouldn't describethe feeling as one of relief exactly, it wasjust as if the whole thing had never happened. 29

Shortly afterwardsand Henrik askedme to make the delivery for the first requisition of the day. He handedme the order: filler, brushesand paint for Akzo Nobel at a cost of £69.44. It was the last of the painting ordersand was all stuff we'd had ready since the week before. By the time I returned,the wood order was nearing completion. Within ten minutes of the final sheetbeing stackedup, the collector from the timber wholepurchasershad arrived and the team began shifting the sheetsout to the truck. I checkedthe order seventy-five sheetsof nine millimetre MDF and nearly four hundred metresof four by two CLS. As I walked back into the gallery after the collection, I noticed that the place was actually starting to look quite empty. The H, E, R and 0 were all that were left standing. The S still lay where we'd left it after lowering it to the ground two days ago, while bits of the other letters were scatteredaround in a state of partial unconstruction.The scatteredpiles of raw material that accompanyany unconstructionwere noticeably decreasedin size. Tomorrow was Sunday;it would be our first day off since the beginning of the unconstruction.

Day Fifteen Friday evening arrived all too soon and I felt more exhaustedthan I had on Monday morning. The achesin my muscleshad resurfacedwith a sharpnessthat was almost painful. The team was down to five now, including Henrik, and it was a slow start to the day. I think everyonefelt as tired as I did. The senseof urgency that motivated us when we beganthe job a fortnight ago had been replacedby a relaxed senseof resignation. The first task of the day was to bring down the 0. Once again Henrik had got the riggers in to come and assist.The procedurewas no lesstesting than before, and by now of coursethere were fewer of us to steadythe weight of the letter as it was lowered down. The shapeof the letter must have strengthenedthe structure and there were fewer of the disturbing screechesthan had accompaniedthe descentof the S. 30

The 0 was formed by severallarge sheetsof twelve millimetre ply all battenedtogether with four by two CLS at the rear surface.The two faces of the 0 were then connectedby a large number of shorter CLS batonsplaced at regular intervals aroundboth the external and internal curves. There was a huge amount of timber containedjust in this one letter. Keith and I startedto unscrewthe upwards facing side of the 0 away from the batons,collecting the long screwsand placing them into small cardboardboxes. Meanwhile the riggers were back up in the hydraulic lift attaching chains to the R. Keith and I left the 0 to go and assistwith this final heavy lowering. The other two remaining letters, the H and the E were much simpler structuresand were already stripped of wood down to their armatures.With the R finally horizontal, the be done gallery now took on a very different appearance.There was still work to for stripping the R and the 0 back and then constituting the wood ready requisition, depleted. but the raw materials of the unconstructionwere now almost completely

Day Sixteen Today the team was down to four, with just me Henrik, Keith and Rineke days left. The atmosphereof camaraderiethat typifies the early of an unconstruction friendly had all but evaporated. The remaining team memberswere still with each less fortnight other, but the senseof purposethat had united us all than a ago was no longer present.

Day Seventeen The remaining frameworksof the H and the E came down today. The frameworks were then quickly unconstructedand the team continued with the 0 S. Henrik remaining constitution work on the R, the and the was sawing together formed S. the sheetsof twelve millimetre that had the curves of the It was skilled work, requiring a steadyhand to follow along the smooth curve and createa neatly fitted complete sheet.Thick reddishbrown sawdustand splinters flew up off the floor from where they'd been swept out. The uncut ply was carried away to another CLS batons backs spot in the gallery, where Rineke and I unscrewedthe from the of 31 the panels.Keith then cameand collected the batons and sawedthem together, ready to stack in the growing pile of raw timber ready for requisition. At two the team took an early lunch break. As the week passed,the lunch breakswere getting longer and more relaxed. The other remaining membersof the team were much less tired too. I borrowed Rineke's bike and cycled over to the supermarketto deliver lunch for everyone. After lunch Henrik startedwork on the 0.1 swept out the next pile of sawdust,then helped Rineke to collect together the curved piecesof ply that would be neededto constituteup the eight by four sheets.The team stood around idly watching and chatting as Henrik concentratedon the careful sawing process.Once that was completedwe all beganthe processof removing the CLS batonsthen sawing them into six metre lengths.

Day Eighteen Another big requisition of wood today. The collection cleared out the timber we'd been working on, leaving only the unfinished sheetsof twelve millimetre plywood and a few imperfect sheetsand CLS lengths

Day Nineteen The last day of the unconstructionbegan with a late start. Henrik and Keith continued with some final constitution work on the wood that remainedafter the previous day's big collection, while Rineke and I startedthe fine detailing on the twelve millimetre sheetsof plywood. The twelve millimetre sheetswere all marked with pencil outlines showing where the letters had been sawn together.Our job was to remove the lines, one by one, leaving the sheetsof ply unmarkedand ready for requisition. I was working on the S. The sheetswere no longer fastenedtogether, but were arrangedon the floor as if they were. It was a slow and laborioustask, and although not as physically demandingas most of the unconstructionwork we'd been doing, it was still pretty hard on the knees.The work beganby gradually unclarifying the line that the saw had taken by using freehanddrawing. Each curve drawn off took it that bit further 32 away from the clear defining line I'd started with. SometimesI got it wrong of courseand had to rub a line back on before it could be finally lifted off. When all the lines were off, I beganthe tedious processof removing the crossesthat plotted out where the lines had been.I'd draw the cross off, then calculate its position and check it back to the scaleplan of the letter I was working to. The final part of the processwas to draw off the grid. The grid stretched acrossthe full expanseof the boards,with the longest lengths nearly sevenmetres long. Rineke and I had to work togetherto draw off the lines, moving a straight edgedlength of MDF betweenus to guide the pencil along the lines of the grid. As the end of the morning's work approachedI beganto anticipate the end of the unconstruction.As ten o'clock drew near, Henrik, Rineke, Keith and I stood around with cups of tea, surveying the almost empty spacebefore us. There were always remnantsleft over to be completedat a later unconstruction,but the piles of raw materials had disappearedto be replacedby tidy piles of fresh smelling timber, clean sheetsof MDF and an assortmentof refurbished tools all awaiting collection. The exhaustionhad lifted like magic, as it always did when an unconstructionwas complete.We stood around chatting for five minutes, maybemore, and eventually into light. one or other of the group left, heading off the decreasingmorning 33

CHAPTER FOUR

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 5/7/02 6:38pm

SUBJECT: Hi from Joanne and Tom Hi Lars

We're hoping that we could meet up when you're next in Glasgow. We're putting together an application for SAC funding for the HK publication and are hoping to proposea new piece of writing from you. The SAC would need a portfolio of some previous examplesof stuff you have written. Deadline is end of July. Anyway, it would be great to catch up over a beer. Best wishes Tom and Joanne

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 17/7/02 7.58pm SUBJECT: Sv: Hi from Joanneand Tom Hi there,

Good to seeyou last night! Attached are a few things for the application - if you in need more just tell me. I'll be back Glasgow at the beginning of August - let's speakthen. Take care, Lars

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 2/11/02 6:45pm SUBJECT: HK publication Hi Lars 34

Good news! The SAC awardedus the money for the HK publication. We've also managedto get someextra cashfrom various other sourcesand can now start putting things together. We've beenthinking about how the whole thing should shapeup and it would be good to talk to you about your contribution some time soon.We're in Glasgow most of November, so let us know when would be a good time to meet and talk more. All the best Joanneand Tom

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 6/11/02 11.58pm SUBJECT: Sv: HK publication Hi there Tom and Joanne That's great news with the catalogue,I'm looking forward to getting startedwith it... I'm on my way to the US for a week now and I'll be in Glasgow again sometime after that, so let's be in touch when I'm back and meet up for a chat. Take care, Lars PS I just got Clark's "Farewell to an Idea" !1

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 19/12/025: 06pm SUBJECT: HK Hi Lars Just thought we'd fill you in after the HK meeting with Will and R- this afternoon: We seethe publication as a documentof the HK event Your text would run through by the whole book, accompanied,even illustrated black and white imagesof the event. Thesewould mostly compriseof shotswith people in. We've got some great shotsof the construction of the work! Your text and these images would exist as 35

parallel narratives.Also, we're thinking of including someof the original interviews, probably as a separatesection that will act as a counterpoint to your text. Theseare very much preliminary thoughts. A lot dependson how you approachthe writing. Is the end of February a reasonabletime to aim for in relation to a first draft from you? Best wishes and have a very good Christmas! Joanne and Tom

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 8/1/03 12.21pm SUBJECT: HK Hi Joanne,hi Tom, Happy New Year! We're moving this week so everything's a bit hectic... Thanks for the follow up on the meeting. It soundsgood and I should have a draft ready by the end of February.My feeling with the text and the way you're talking about the publication, though, is that the longer it is the better... and I'll need some more time for that, but I can have an outline and an idea of the final word count ready by the end of February,no problem. Hope to seeyou soon, maybe at the Lambie/Dawenhoggeopenings in a couple of weeks? Cheers, Lars

"Hi Lars, it's Tom. Wejust got your email. That's great you can get us a rough plan for the end of February. Hope the move is going well and see you soon. Bye. " 36

FROM: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net DATE: 9/2/03 4: 30pm

SUBJECT: HK Hi Lars last Good to seeyou - very briefly! - night. We're thinking of showing a continuation of the HK project at Venice (the model and the piece of jewellery) so we hope the HK publication will be out for then as well... Bearing this in mind, the end of February would still be good in regards to a draft/word count from you so we can start putting it all together. If you want to meet up before then to discuss anything, just let us know. Best wishes Joanneand Tom

'Hi Tom, hi Joanne, it's Lars. The writing is going well and 1 have an estimate word count for you. Maybe you could call me and we could talk more. I'm in New York on my way back from Mexico City but you could call me at home tomorrow or maybe the day after. I met Santiago from the Tramway at a gallery tonight, which jogged my conscience! Ok, take care, speak soon. 11

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 4/4/03 1.49pm SUBJECT: HK Hi Joanne& Tom, Hope all is going well with the HK preparationsfor Venice. I am afraid things are only progressingslowly with the text. It's a bigger job than I thought that entails a bit of researchand I can seethat I won't be able to finish it by next week... that'd be for longer too shoddy a job, so I'd rather ask you a deadline - also becauseits a text 37

I'd like to spendsome time with. I basically need another month... I am very sorry aboutthis but I hope you understand. I am going to Denmark for about a month to spend somequiet time with this text and someuniversity work (our squashgame will have to wait a bit, Tom! ). But I'll be back again by the beginning of May, would that work for you as the deadline? Take care, Lars

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 5/410311: 14pm SUBJECT: HK Hi Lars

The beginning of May is fine - we're looking forward to seeingwhat you do! Have a good time in Copenhagenand in the meantime I'll start practising my backhand! Tom

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 28/4/03 8.44pm SUBJECT: hk stuff Hi there Joanneand Tom, I'm knuckling down to deliver the goods and it's progressingwell - but slowly! Mannerism proves to be a quite productive vein, you might want to start calling yourselvesneo-mannerists... I wanted to ask you if I could seesome of the interviews you madewith addictsand former addicts?Also, do you have any stats on drug abusein Glasgow?If you don't have any handy then don't worry, it should be easy to find on the net. I'll give you a bell later this week to talk stuff over. Take care Lars

LEEDSUNIVERSITY LIBRARY 38

FROM: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net DATE: 29/4/03 9: 54pm

SUBJECT: Re: hk stuff Hi Lars Neo-mannerismsounds good! We'vejust got back to Glasgow this evening, all things HK are down at the studio. We'll get a chanceto go down there on Thursday and seewhat statistics we have. The interviews are attached. Glad to hear it's going well and look forward to hearing from you later in the week. Best wishes Tom and Joanne

FROM: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 3/5/03 1:54pm SUBJECT: h Hi there T&J, Here's HK the way it's looking now, so you can get an idea of how it is progressing. It's pretty rough, especially towards the end, where it all falls apart into fragments and notes...and it's also possiblethat I need to alter the sequenceof some of the paragraphs. I need to discussthe gothic, satire, Smithsonand absurdtheatre... Let's speakon Monday afternoon. I'll be leaving Denmark around 3 local time, so let's speakearly afternoon. Take care Lars 39

FROM: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net TO: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net DATE: 8/5/03 4: 44pm

SUBJECT: In pursuit of oblivion Hi Lars

It was good to talk with you the other day. I've just ordered "The Pursuit of Oblivion; A Global History of Narcotics" from Amazon. It should arrive within the week. I'll put it in the post for you (will this give you enoughtime? ). Alternatively I could try and locate the relevant bits and email them over. Speakto you soon Tom

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 8/5/03 9:40pm

SUBJECT: Sv: In pursuit of oblivion Hi Tom,

Great, thanks a lot for that... Pleasesend it to me, it should be all right time wise. Take care, hi to Jo Lars

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 13/5/03 10:29am SUBJECT: Silver HK necklace Hi Lars

Attached is an image of the prototype silver necklace- also a couple of images from the show at KunsthausGlarus. Your book has arrived we'll put it in the post today! Hope all's well. Tom and Joanne 40

'Hi Tom and Joanne, it's Lars. Thanksfor the book, I got it yesterday so I'm, flicking through it now. Would it be possible for you to meet up next Friday in the morning? I'll arrive in Glasgow Thursday and have meetings Friday afternoon. I'll send you the text on Tuesday so you can have a read through it before we meet, then maybe we can have a discussion about what should stay and what should go. Oh and the necklace looks great, by the way. Congratulations! Okay speak soon. Take care. 11

"Hi Lars, it's Joanne. I just got your message. Wejust got back in. Friday morning is fine to meet, we're free all morning. When and where's good for you? Call us back bye for now. "

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 20/5/03 11:20pm SUBJECT: txt Hi there T&J, So here'sthe latest instalment.. I didn't get as far as I'd have liked to. It still needs the elaboration of de Man (found a good section in "The Resistanceto Theory" on the evasivenature of shifters that is really spot on) and Smithson. Swift and the absurdtheatre still needsto be fitted in. However it's a cleanerversion than the previous one and the Gothic is in there now, as well as more TJ Clark on suprematism. I'm not sure if I'll be going to Venice this year, but seeyou soon! Lars

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 16/6/03 10:42pm SUBJECT: Hk in Venice Hi Lars 41

We'rejust back from a very, very hot and sticky trip to Venice. The HK necklace went well, although not completely to plan... In the end we had quite a range of people "hosting" it. Jim Lambie wore it for the Zenomap opening and then Enrico David (do you know him?) for the Scottish party. SadieColes was very keen to wear it but it was hard to meet up in the heat. We then passedit on to Stefania Bortolami (the Gagosianconnection through H-). She said it looked very El Lissitzky. After Stefaniawe lost sight of it and she passedit onto Adam Szymcyk from KunsthausBasel and then H- wore it to a curators'breakfast... Finally it endedup around the neck of Pavel B-! I don't know if what happenedin Venice changeshow you approachthis aspectof the project - but we like the way the work took on its own life. One other thing - we saw an amazing manneristVenetian painting at the Academia that we were so sure was the one you mention. There was a lily limp limb, a decorativedress and even a baby prince. We realise now that it was the wrong artist, but nevertheless... We go to Praguenext week - do you think you'll have somethingto sendbefore then? Speaksoon. Tom and Joanne

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net CC: will. [email protected] DATE: 19/6/03 12:04pm SUBJECT: HK Hi everybody, here we go... It's some 8000 words now so let's all have a read and seeif there's somethingthat needsto be developedor added. Swift is only discreetly present,I couldn't get my head around the satire thing in the end; it made more senseto approachHK's political stancefrom the contemporary point of Giddens and 3rd way slogans. 42

I have a proposal for the illustrations if we're still doing that: HK portrait gallery, with more or less all the people mentionedin the text, including the artists and the author (the editor will be a mere shadowpresence to make him even more scary!) Art piecescan't be heroin users,only people can, so I thought it could be a (slightly paranoid) way of illustrating specificity of the issue,and how we "go down" with HK and drag others along with us. Will, let's talk about the editing, but I'd like it to be as straightforward and accessibleas possible.A fireside chat on heroin sort of. Looking forward to talk... take care, Lars PS My mobile is sort of working (I'm high up in the Alps) +45 7132 7944

FROM: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net TO: [email protected] DATE: 16/6/03 10:42pm SUBJECT: HK Hi Lars

We're reading and digesting the text... Looking forward to a chat - maybe call you over the weekend? Speaksoon, take care. Tom and Joanne

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net CC: will. [email protected] DATE: 23/6/03 10:24am SUBJECT: HK Hi there T&J Good to talk to you yesterday.I'll get the final version to you and Will tomorrow, in the am so you can take it to Pragueif you should get the urge. 43

Here's an invoice, I didn't have your addressbut sendit to me and I can mail you a hard copy. All right, let's all be in touch tomorrow. Lars

FROM: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net CC: will. bradley@hotmail. com DATE: 24/6/03 10: 12am

SUBJECT: txt update Hi all, Here's the latest version of the text... Will, let's speaklater today about the edit - I'll try and reach you. Good luck in Prague,Tom & Jo! Lars

FROM: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net TO. jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net

CC: will. bradley@hotmail. com DATE: 15/7/03 12: 19pm

SUBJECT: new hk Hi T&J and W, Here's the latest HK. The only major changeis a new ending that sumsup the discussionsin a clearer way, I think, than the first one. At least it doesn'tmake any attempt to continue the allegorical spiral... Other than that I've only worked with languagestuff. I'm in Copenhagenall week (+45 3579 1822) so let's speakwhen you've had a look. Take it easy, Lars 44

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net CC: will. [email protected] DATE: 18/7/03 11:30am SUBJECT: final hk

Here's the final. I've had a go at punctuation in a few places (I've been too liberal with the semicolons), and I've changed small things in the de Man footnote on page 3, around Eleonore of Toledo (the baby prince has a name! ), and in the last paragraph. I found the Finlay quote, which also brought a few alterations along. Otherwise I think we're there. I'll be away in Istanbul for the weekend,but let's speakMonday. Cheers Lars

"Hi Lars, it's Tom. I don't know if you're back from Istanbul yet. We've got a few more edit suggestions. Call us when you're back There's no big alterations. O/c hope to speak soon. "

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 18/7/03 12:16pm SUBJECT: (no subject) hi T&J Ok, I've had chanceto look at the edits you suggested.New version attached. Looks better without "slogan" and "word sculpture" is good. The only place it doesn'twork is p3, where slogan was replacedwith "work" which is confusing becauseit can be taken to meanHK incl. interviews... I've summed up the immaterielle Arbeit quote in English. Also changes on pages 7, 10,12. All changes are in bold. I don't know what the missing word is. I don't have the book with me here in Copenhagen, but I'll try and phone it in later today. L 45

FROM: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net DATE: 22/7/03 11:30am

SUBJECT: (no subject) Hi there. You're right about the taking out last line - the ending is better without it. I'm afraid the lost word remains lost at this end. Can you check up on it? Speaksoon, Lars

FROM: [email protected] TO: jtatham.tosullivan@virgin. net CC: will. [email protected] DATE: 22/7/03 8:21 pm SUBJECT: HK2207 Hi- Thanks for the latest edit, it looks good, and thanks for translating the immaterial labour quote to whoever did that...The only thing is on page 12 where it now reads: "Where avant-gardemovements readily embracedthe political by denouncing tradition, this aesthetictreason weighs heavily on Mannerists and Goths. Accordingly, the possibility of the political lies in blowing the covers of identity and history and showing them for what they really are: charades,stylised and discontinuous." Could we changethe last line to: "Accordingly, their political possibility has turned identity in on itself and lies insteadin blowing the covers of and history and showing them for what they really are: charades,stylised and discontinuous." How doesthat sound?Just to explain the twists and turns of the political engagementof manneristsand goths. Take care Lars 46

FROM: larsbanglarsen@earthlink. net TO: jtatham. tosullivan@virgin. net

CC: will. bradley@hotmail. com DATE: 29/7/03 1:26pm

SUBJECT: 23 changesfor HK text Hi there, Got the latest version of HK but have been in KL (! ) so only got a chanceto look at final it today - it looks like the version to me too... I'm in Copenhagenthe rest of the week so let's speaksoon about proof reading and stuff. Take care, Lars 47

CHAPTER FIVE

I'm in a dark room, perchedon a hard chair. My handsare tied behind my back. I try and look around, but the darknessis absolute.I hear a cough and a murmur, followed by a click and a low hum. I shout out "Hey, who's there?" There'sno reply. There'sanother click and the room fills with bright white light. I want to shield my eyes,but I can't get my handsfree. I hear a rustling behind me. "Hey, what's going on?" A click, a flash and an image drops into place on the screenin front of me. "Whatthe hell... ?" The image flickers in and out of focus. I narrow my eyes,trying to make senseof the information in front of me. It's hopeless.I turn my head,hoping that I might be able to identify my captor.No such luck. I'm hit by a beam of light betweenthe eyes.All I can make out are the thick dust motes swarming in front of the lens. I turn back to the screenin front of me. Now, suddenly,the projector jumps right into focus. I laugh out loud. I can't help myself. It's probably the tension of this whole situation. "Shut the fuck up." I shut up. It's the first time I've heard his voice. It's nondescript- kind of its hard middle middle-class,maybe even lower, although admittedly to tell these live days. There'sno traceableaccent, just somesense that this guy used to just is someplaceelse, although God knows where. He's got that right; this definitely a voice that's been worked on. "Look at the screen." I'm already looking, but I move my head forward so that it showsthat I'm head like I'm really paying attention. Then I incline my to one side, really scrutinising the detail. I don't really know what I'm looking at. I mean I can see be. I don't it. what it is, but I don't what its meantto get "Tell me what you're looking at." 48

There's some quality in the voice that seemsfamiliar. Maybe it's some place I visited sometime, maybe that's where he's from. My work meansI get to travel a lot I get to meet a lot of interestingpeople. "What are you looking at?" I detect a shift in the tempo. He's making like he's getting aggrieved.I realise I'd better answerhis question. "It's a picture." Silence. I figure my answeris inadequatesomehow. I try again. "It's.... it's a photograph." More silence. I don't get this. "Come on. What do you want me to say? Let's just get this over with. I've got appointmentsto keep...I'm, er, a busy man." The lights black out again. More silence. I'm beginning to wonder if this guy is really a professional.He's acting like some kind of extra. "Hey, maybe you could undo theseropes for me. They're starting to rub. I've got an evening engagementand, er... that bondagething is so over." I start to feel this line of reasoningisn't going down too well with my host. It's true that I've got a dinner that evening.Ulrich's hosting. I realise that if I'm going to make it, I'm going to have to start playing it a bit cooler. "Ok then." I say. "Let's just sit here in the dark." There's no response.I begin to considerthat perhapshe's left the room Maybe sometimewhen I was talking hejust sneakedout a back door. I begin to feel an absence,and I admit this worries me. As the minutes passI becomeeven more anxious. I really needa Xanax. I make a tentative struggle with my handsat the ropes, but its no good. I'm starting to sweat.I really need a cigarette. As the minutes pass,I becomeeven more anxious. I start to fall asleep. Click. The projector flasheson. My headjolts up. "Ok. Now you're... refreshed." His voice has changed,but it's definitely the sameguy. "Tell me what you're looking at... " 49

"I'm looking at a picture, a-aa photograph... "I take a deep breath. "It's a photograph. It's a photograph of... of a jester. " "Ok. Good take it easy now. Don't rush it. "

His voice has definitely changed.I can detect a pronouncedSerbo-Croat inflection. I decide not to mention this. "He's holding something... he's holding a necklace." "Wrong. Look harder. "

"I look harder.I don't get it. I don't get what I said wrong. I start again. "Ok, I'm looking at a photographof a jester... " I stumble to a halt, "Come on help me out here. What do you want me to say? Just tell me what you want me to say, then I'll say it and we can both get out of this pit. " "Tell me about the jester." I don't know what this guy's game is, but I'm beginning to realise that I've got to find out soon - and start playing. "Ok. It's a jester. Well, I guessI don't mean a real jester. This one'smade of glass, or something." I hear somethingthat soundslike a sigh of relief. I take this as a positive. "Yeah, it's one of those little glassjesters, like, like... " I pause.A memory is breaking through, some flashback or something. "Yeah, it's one of those little guys, like you get at the airport." Silence. "You know, duty free shit." it down The brand name flickers in an out of my thoughts. I can't pin though, not under pressurelike this. "Keep looking. "

"It's a small glassjester. It's, er... I don't know, I guessit's about six centimetreshigh... " I've got to keep talking. Find out what gets the approval and what gets the silent treatment. 50

"Er... it's clear glass.Except for the tips of the hat. The hat, you know, it's like, er a typical jester's hat. It's got thesetwo points coming off. Like horns. They've got a different colour of glassat each tip. One'sred, one'syellow. " "What else?" "There's coloured glassballs on the tips of the feet. One red and one blue. The red foot is high in the air. The jester is made to look like he'sjust fallen over, or maybe he's fooling around, you know... " "Just tell me what you see." "The face of the jester has got a different surfaceto the rest of it. Its... er... it's frosted. Looks like he's wearing a mask... " I hear a disappointedsounding sigh behind me, but it seemsI'm expectedto continue. "In front of the jester there'sthis necklace or somethingleaned up. " I hesitate.I got caught out here before. "Yeah, it's a necklace.I'm certain. There's a chain attached.It's gold. I'd say it was eighteen-carat.There's a good clean shine to the gold. "Tell me more." "The necklace.It's, er, letters. You know like a name-tag,only this has got a cool El Lissitzky twist to it. " "What are the letters?" It's hard to make out. The necklaceis angled on its side. Part of it's obscured by the jester's leg. I shift my headto one side and begin to spell out. "H-E-R-O-I-N-K-I-L-L-S. " Behind me, there's a laugh. "The letters on the necklacespell out heroin kills. " I'm choosing my words more carefully now. Then without warning, a thud, aimed from behind and a sharppain breaksout acrossmy right cheekbone.I shout blinking, image in front out. My face stings I try to right myself, staring at the of me it's as it shifts in and out of focus. This time my eyes making the adjustments. "What did I..? " 51

But then the lights go out and this time the pain hits really hard. Briefly, I reel, dizzy in the darknessand then I'm out. I register a click and then a familiar a flash of light and I'm coming round. My handsare sore where the rope'sbeen tied and I realise I must have been out for sometime. Now I'm scared.I'm really scared.I lift my head and look at the screen. The jester, the necklace.It's all the same.I feel like I've been taught a lesson,but learnt nothing. Yeah, now I'm really scared. "Ok. Now it's time to start using this." He taps me on my skull. I wince. This guy's a sadist.I'm trapped in a fucking basementwith a fucking sadist.And another thing, I think his voice has changed. It's definitely the sameguy, but his voice is... kinda different. I say nothing. "Tell me what you see?" "A jester... a necklace..." My voice soundspathetic now. There's no response.I try again. "Heroin kills. " "What do you mean,heroin kills? " "The necklace,that's what the necklacesays. " Suddenly, I'm getting a flashback.It's the necklace; I've seenit before. But before I get chanceto think, a thud. A fist hits the spot, the samespot as before. This is precision beating. "What do you mean heroin kills? " "I don't know. It soundslike a slogan..." "Yes?" He soundsinterested. Alert. "It... it soundslike a slogan,I dunno." "What else?" in His voice has definitely changed. There's something almost Scandinavian his pronunciation. This doesn't necessarily reassure me. 52

"Heroin kills. Well I guessit's true. It's like smoking kills on a cigarette packet.But I imagine a user doesn'tcare whether heroin kills, just as smokers don't spendgood smoking time worrying about lung cancer." I'm trying to fix on that flashback.I need to get back to where I saw that necklace.I've got to keep talking. I cough nervously, playing for time. "Keep going." "Listen. It meansthat heroin kills. There's this drug, and sometimesit can kill you. " "What else?" I've still got his attention. "Well, sometimesit doesn'tkill. The sentencecould mean anything. Heroin kills... Maybe. Sometimes.Hey, I dunno."

There's silence. I wince in expectationof his fist bearing down, again, but nothing comes.My mind's working overtime now. I've got to keep talking. I cough nervously, playing for time. "I guessit's a kind of inconclusive fatalism. I mean,if it is a slogan... it's a pretty dumb slogan. It, ahem, spawnstoo many questions." Words enter my head and exit my mouth. My efforts elicit no comment. I keep talking. "I mean, er... like, what's the point of these two words as a necklace,and why place it over this, er... trinket. " "You tell me." just have There's no discernible trace of humour. I've got a feeling I might idea jester has do talked myself into a comer. I've got no fucking what this to with heroin killing, or not killing or whatever.Come to that, I've got no fucking idea, why any of this has got anything to do with me anyway. "Come on. Tell me why. " This is said in way that makesit clear that this is no casualenquiry. I've got to rememberwhere I saw the necklace... "Come on. Why. " "Listen, man. Help me out here. This isn't easyyou know. " 53

There'san unexpectedsound, a deep, long sigh. Human breath exhaled slowly, in sympathy, in despair,in contemplation, I don't know. I detectwhole histories of unspokennarratives in that one sigh. I decide to persist. "Hey listen. I'm really trying you know. I really want to help you. Tell me what you want from me... " I don't get to finish my sentence.My head is yankedback hard and somethingcold and hard smashesinto my skull. I passout as the chair starts to topple backwardsto the floor. When I come round, even before I open my eyes,I know I'm someplace else. The room I'm in is bright and warm and I keep my eyesclosed, relishing the reprieve. Through closed eyelids I can seebright red and black swirls. Through an open window I can hear the put-put-put of an outboard motor and the churning sound of water as a boat pulls away from a jetty. There'sa cooling breezeblowing acrossmy body, making the burn of direct sunlight on my leg bearable,pleasurable even. There are voices, shouting. I'm still, but alert. My musclesrelax in the heat, then tensein anticipation of the next onslaught verbal, physical, whichever. Through closed eyelids I can seebright red and black swirls, through an open window I can hear the put-put-put of a motor and the churning sound of water. Then I rememberwhere I saw the necklace.I feel the gentle pressureof a chloroform soakedpad placed silently over my mouth and nose. Imagesflash rapidly before my eyes and I passout When I come round I'm in a dark room, perchedon a hard chair and my hands are tied behind my back. The darknessis absolute.I hear a click and a low hum followed by a cough and a murmur. I keep quiet. There's anotherclick and the room fills with bright white light. An image drops into place on the screenin front of me. The image flickers in and out of focus. I narrow my eyes,trying to make senseof what I'm being shown. Suddenly,the projector jumps right into focus. The image hits me like a misplaced memory. Words and pictures flood my mind. I open my mouth to speak. III... of "Keep your mouth shut." 54

I shut up. I've got to stay in control. "Ok, you know the drill. " His voice has definitely changed.There's somethingSwiss-German about his intonation. Theseaccent changes make me think I'm working with some kind of low budget amateur.I look at the screen,moving my head forwards so I can really take everything in. My mind's working overtime. I've got to say the right thing. I've got to be ready with an answer. "Tell me what you seenow. " "It's a photographof a woman." I pause, trying to assesshis response. There's silence. "She's wearing designer biker shades and the necklace. " I pause again. "She's smiling, she looks healthy, relaxed." "Ok, you can cut the advertorial." I flinch in anticipation of his fist bearing down again, but nothing comes. My mind's working overtime now. I've got to keep talking. I cough nervously, playing for time. At least I've got his attention. "It's the samenecklace, y'know, er, the sameas in the last picture..." I don't get to finish my sentence.Without warning, his fist thuds into my face and a sharp pain breaks out across my left cheekbone. I blink, staring at the image in front of me as it shifts in and out of focus. Then I remember where I saw the necklace. I can hear the put-put-put of an outboard motor. Stefania is smiling at me, her white halterneck is vivid against the green silk wallpaper. Adam is over by the open window chatting to Jim and Enrico. Pavel has crashed out in the corner, an empty champagne bottle rolls by his side. Piotr, Olaf, Monica, Christian, Sadie and Keith all walk in together. "What can you see?" "Nothing. Everything."

My voice sounds pathetic now. There's no response. I try again. "Heroin kills. "

"What do you mean,heroin kills? " 55

"The necklace,that's what the necklacesays. " "What do you mean heroin kills? " "I don't know. "

"What do you mean heroin kills? " "Heroin kills? " "What do you mean?" "Nothing. Everything. It soundslike a slogan..." "Yes?" He soundsinterested. Alert "It... it soundslike a slogan,I dunno." "What else?" His voice has definitely changed.The accent is Sudanesemeets Home Counties. This doesn'tnecessarily reassure me. I keep talking, playing for time. "Heroin kills. Well I guessit's true. Heroin does kill, but it takes away your soul before it does away with your body. That's what heroin kills, and, er, all drugs really, I think. It kills your soul." "What else?Tell me what it means." At least I've still got his attention. "Well, sometimesit doesn'tkill. The sentencecould mean anything. Heroin kills... Maybe. Sometimes.You know, I dunno." My head is yanked back hard and somethingcold and hard smashesinto my skull. I pass out as the chair topples backwardsto the floor. When I come round, the room is just a dazzling white. There'sno image: no here necklace, no jester. The chair has beenput upright again. I can the sound of my captor breathing behind me. I feel strangelydisconnected. "What can you seenow? " I can't seeanything. "Two words. Heroin kills. " "Good"

"It's not a sloganbut it soundslike one." "Keep going." 56

"But as a slogan it would be ineffective, er... given the opacity that follows the message's,er, initial bombast." Words enter my headand exit my mouth. I feel myself slipping in and out of consciousnessas I speak. "It... it shunsthe deitic... the linguistic mechanism that distinguishes between here and there, now and then, we and you... I have no idea what I'm saying. I have no idea where thesewords are coming from or what they mean.I feel strangelydisconnected. "The readingsdon't sit easily with any of.., of its bottom lines on, er, either side of the literal meaning residual meaning divide." My head falls forward. I passout briefly and come round to the sound of my own voice. "... it isn't obvious how the sentenceoperates or how it can be talked about... " The lights blur my vision. There'snothing to see. I black out. 57

AFTERWORD

Heroin Kills; context and meaning in contemporary art practice is a thesis comprised of two parts: an exhibition, in the form of a publication, and the written work that precedesthis endnote.This afterword attempts to discusssome of the factors that informed the researchtowards the thesis, and outlines the rationale that determined the form of eachof thesetwo main elements. Over the last four years I have been working concurrently as a Fine Art researchstudent within the University of Leeds and as a professionalartist within the context of contemporaryart. The approachto my PhD has been underpinnedby the need to consider the relationship betweenthese two parallel, yet distinctly separatecontexts. The activities I engagein, in either of thesecontexts, may not initially appear to be fundamentally different. In fact, theseactivities have often manifest themselves through the samematerial outcome.However, I was awarethat while the outcomesof my activities may appearidentical, the two contexts in which I operate frame and determinemeaning in specific and different ways. The same thing, seenin a different place, turns out not to be the samething after all. As an artist, the work I make always respondsto the context in which it will be seen.I use the term context in its broadestsense; for example an artwork may respond to the political ideology that informs how a specific gallery is run, or it may consider the mechanicsof the wider market of contemporaryart. The artwork, however, does not exist to presentan illustration of a context to a viewer; insteadit consolidates context as one of the factors that will determine its interpretation and meaning. As a PhD studentin Fine Art practiceI have consideredit necessaryto account for context in precisely the sameway as I do as a professional artist outwith academia. However, the context of doing a PhD and the wider context of the University has proved an exceptionalset of circumstancesthrough which to operate. The submissionrequirements of the PhD in Fine Art practice at Leeds University are identified as: an exhibition in a form appropriateto the candidate,a 58

permanentrecord of that exhibition and a written work of 15-20,000words. 1These submissionrequirements appear to relate back to existing modelswithin the School of Fine Art, History of Art and Cultural Studies.An Art History or Cultural Studies PhD submissionis required to take the form of a written thesis.The dominanceof this model within the Departmentcreates a precedentthat appearsto privilege this aspect of the Fine Art practice basedPhD submission,over the presentationof artwork. From this position, the written work can appearto have acquired special status: one that affords it the ability to act as a transparentconduit for meaning.The University's restrictions on form, layout and title serve to further demonstratethis idea; the guidelines reaffirm the apparentautonomy of the written thesis as the site for meaning. 2 All of the three componentsthat make up the Fine Art practice submission (the exhibition, the dossier and the written work) are presentedas being both neutral and transparent they are presumednot to impinge upon the way in which academic research can convey its meanings.Furthermore, it is implicit that the relationship between exhibition, documentationand writing is incontestableand that theseare

1This information is taken from the Fine Art postgraduatehandbook that I receivedwhen I first registered at Leeds University. There were no guidelines about the practice basedPhD in any of the following years' handbooksthat I received. 2I had some difficulty finding a title for my PhD submission that met with the approval of for the Research Degrees and Scholarships Office at Leeds University. The request a title was not accompanied by any information about what exactly I was titling or a form that would be acceptable. I initially thought it would be appropriate to submit a title that would reflect the practice based nature of the PhD. In addition, I hoped to use a title that would reflect some of the titling strategies that I use within my practice. I employ titles to exist as part of the narrative space constructed by an artwork; they do not label, or provide a literal explanation. The titles often use found words or idioms, adopting a process similar to that in employed in the presentation of an art object (and also fact the written work that you have just read). My initial attempts to submit a title were all rejected. I eventually managed to get a title accepted by following the format of title; semicolon; explanatory subtitle. The form from resulting title is obtuse, perhaps even absurd. It uses a appropriated academia for and subverts it. It makes no literal sense; it also makes perfect sense this submission. 59

discrete concernswith clearly defined functions. This unquestionedconnection between form and meaning is at odds with the ways in which contemporaryart practice operates.Contemporary art makesmeaning through negotiating the form in which it occurs; it has no autonomouslanguage that presumesto act as a direct conduit for meaning. Therefore the conventionsthat surround and inform the thesis guidelines for Leeds University's Fine Art practice PhD presenta considerable challenge to a contemporaryartist. The submissionrequirements are pivotal within the framework of the Fine Art practice basedPhD. As such, they gave me a very presentand direct opportunity within which to take accountof the context I was working in. The submission requirements provided a framework within which I could position my research. They offered both a form and a context, and in doing so presenteda perfect opportunity to consider the systemsand structuresthat governedthe practice based PhD.

I particularly wanted to questionthe idea that the context of a PhD in Fine Art practice can somehowpresent a neutral spacewithin which to engagein contemporary art practice. Furthermore,I wanted to challenge the model for Fine Art practice basedPhDs that could be summarisedas "exhibition plus writing", such as that at Leeds University. My main motivation in challenging this model is that, to me, it appearsto privilege the written submissionover the exhibition as the primary 3 site for meaning within the thesis.

3 Many amongst my peer group of contemporaryartists have been slow to recognisethe concept of thesis by exhibition. The culmination of my activities as a PhD studenthas been presumed to be a lengthy written work, rather than an exhibition. This is surprising, as many of this group have been through a similar processfor a Masters in Fine Art, such as at Glasgow School of Art, where the assessmentis mademainly on the final exhibition. This misperception about the Fine Art practice PhD is probably due to both its relative newness and the cognitive gap that exists betweenprofessional contemporary art practice and Fine Art researchwithin a University. In addition, many institutions do privilege the written component to a much greaterdegree than at LeedsUniversity. I have, on occasion,found myself succumbing to the misapprehensionsthat surround Fine Art practice PhDs. In 60

In the Leeds guidelines it statesthat the writing "should provide both the historical context and the critical commentary"(Graduate handbook. 66). The implication, it seems,is that an artwork may be unable to provide those requirements for itself. In this scenario,the exhibited work is mute. It appearsto know its place - or rather, not to know its place; it is art that exists out of context. In considering context as key to meaning in art, I am hardly alone. Art no longer is means - or produced- as if it were autonomous. The difficulty, then, with the model of "exhibition plus writing" is that the exhibition all too easily finds itself sidelined.The method of examinationfor the PhD privileges the word; the exhibition is temporary and inevitably distancedfrom that process.The final submission,stored in the library, will not easily submit to functioning as an artwork The exhibition will ultimately exist as documentation within a storagebox, for which clear stipulationsabout colour and size make it indistinguishable from the more conventional%%Titten theses that will surround it. The artwork, as documentation,assumes secondary status, whilst the written work, is primary and therefore assumesthe statusof thesis. At the time of writing my PhD proposal,I was aware that negotiating the relationship betweenthe written and exhibited elementsof the submissionwould form a centralpart of my research.However, as my researchcontinued I realised that the ideaof "exhibition"was equally problematic on its own. The currentexamination model for theFine Art practicePhD is not very different from that provided by the undergraduatedegree show, with the practice element of the researchexpected to culminate in a final exhibition. This similarity

response to enquiries about the progressionof my PhD I have often found myself responding in relation to the written component.This is despite all my argumentsto the contrary in this afterword that it is not the written work. but the exhibition that is primary. In my role as a contemporaryartist it seemsthat I sharethe sameequivocal relationship to the written word that many of my peer group do. As artists we are seducedby the charms of theory (whatever that is). There are hints of esotericknowledge (those who have the key to the dusty library acquire the aura of the initiate). At one level, of course,I have benefited enormously from this, but I suspectI shall be found out sooneror later. 61

with the undergraduatedegree show implies that the three or four year research period will enablethe artwork to get "better", with the "best" work to be presented as the culmination of that process.This allows the work in the exhibition to self - validate through a circuitous route of referenceto earlier (and therefore inferior) output. This model for presentingart revealsthe difficulty perceived within an academic context of assessingartworks or exhibitions. The uncertainty that exists about art practice and artworks is, of course,also demonstratedby the requirement for a written accompaniment.The existing model of exhibition needsto shift to take account of the wider context of contemporaryart, somethingthat would in fact enable the processof assessment. The current model fails to reflect the wider context of production and exhibition; it doesnot acknowledgethe importance of the processof dissemination, 4 and presumesa limited site within which meaning occurs. My PhD researchhas been dependentupon maintaining and developing opportunities to produce and exhibit work. This provides both a discoursewith which to engage,as well as the spaceand money necessaryfor production and exhibition. The current model often seemsto wish to confine practice to a monastic existence.Perhaps this is not surprising, as it is only reflecting the conventional PhD models on which it is based.

4 This was somethingI consideredthrough my PhD upgradepresentation in 2001. I presenteda collection of texts that existedaround the artwork The Glamour. The Glamour was first realised as a collaborative exhibition with Tom O'Sullivan at Transmission Gallery, Glasgow in June 2000. By the time of the upgrade paper in Summer 2001, The Glamour had beenre-presented at ARCO, Madrid and as part of the Berlin Biennale (both 2001). The upgradepresentation included reviews of the work from art journals, a diary style account of the work's production and reception in Madrid and an account of the work written in a fictional style. The upgradepaper re-positioned The Glamour, a work that may originally have appearedto be a sculptural installation, as an event. The material that was generatedthrough the disseminationof the work allowed the work to manifest itself within an alien context. 62

There seemsto be a reluctanceto find any sort of parity with the systems that qualify professionalcontemporary art practice. 5 This meansthat the "quality control" of Fine Art PhDs is at odds with those of contemporaryart. The systems that validate Fine Art researchin Universities need to reflect contemporaryart practice. Removing the discrepanciesthat exist at every level between contemporary art practice and academiais increasingly important given the value of researchoutputs that occur in a professionalcontext. In addition, it will allow for and enablemore sophisticatedenquiry in art practice.

The exhibition The exhibition elementof my submissionconsists of a publication, HK. The publication is submittedas a specific responseto the context of the PhD in Fine Art practice at Leeds University. The publication exists and functions in a number of distinct ways. The HK publication is part of an ongoing project that was first realised at Tramway in Glasgow in November 2001. This exhibition, also titled HK, was comprised of severalelements, namely, eleven six metre high three-dimensional black letters spelling out the words HEROIN KILLS, as well as a seriesof texts basedon transcribedinterviews with people involved with heroin use and addiction 6 in Glasgow and a poster with a text by the writer and curator Lars Bang Larsen. The HK project has continued with the HK necklace,an 18-caratgold necklace that The hostedby spells out the samewords as the Tramway sculpture. necklacewas an

s As a professional artist I rarely mention my status as a PhD student. It does not qualify my lessen it. status as an artist, ifanything, I worry that it might 6A review of The Glamour by Lars Bang Larsen was included as part of my PhD upgrade presentationin 2001. This text was the first point of contact with Lars. His writing, with its artworid in-jokes, caught somethingof the attitude behind The Glamour. He is recognised for his associationwith artists such as Superflex and N55, who are known for their socially- engagedpractices. This madehim an interesting choice for the HK project, with its ambivalent relationship to its own senseof social responsibility. In a sense,we appropriated Lars' context. 63

invited selectionof artists, galleristsand curators at the 2003 Venice Biennale. The HK marble is a 1:20 scaleversion of the Tramway letters, made from Absolute Black Zimbabwe marble. This piece was produced as an edition with The Modem Institute gallery in Glasgow. 7 The HK publication provides a record of the HK project in its different manifestations. The publication contains photographic documentation and transcribed interviews from the Tramway exhibition, as well as an extendedessay by Lars Bang Larsen, in which he provides a detailed analysisof the HK project. A photo essay,comprising mainly of found images,provides additional contextual information for the project. The HK publication is, in fact, both a documentof the project as well as forming part of the project itself. As such, I would describeit as a handbook for the HK project, rather than as a catalogue.The letters of HK are shown half-built, rather than as seductiveinstallation views of the completed exhibition. As a handbook, the publication doesnot remove itself from the HK project, rather it is embeddedwithin it. It avoids the temptation to adopt the detachedgaze that the exhibition catalogue so often seemsto aspire to. To work successfullyas a handbook,the HK publication must communicate through the content within its pages.This content, in the form of the written essay, the photo essay,the photographsand the transcribed interviews, allows itself to be read as a book. The contentsof the publication also provide a solution to the submissionrequirement to supply a lasting document of an exhibition for the library 8 archives. The publication also fulfils the requirementsof the dossier.

7 The HK project, at least as it exists within the context of contemporaryart, is co-authored with Tom O'Sullivan. I discusssome of the issuessurrounding collaboration and co- authorship later on in this afterword. 8 In the PhD guidelines it statesthat the dossiermust representboth "previously exhibited work" and "the work leading up to the final exhibition", as well as contain "theoretical reflection". The HK publication containselements that could be seento fulfil all of these requirements.The HK project at Tramway and the HK necklace are both exhibitions of work that pre-datethe PhD exhibition of the HK publication. The photographswithin the 64

So far I have outlined how the HK publication functions as a book However, by presentingthe HK publication as the exhibition componentof the thesis, I am proposing that the publication can also function in other ways. By submitting the HK publication for the PhD examinationI am attempting to createa scenariowithin which the work can articulate the contexts of its own production, presentationand dissemination.The publication can do this by functioning as a found object that meansthrough its positioning. The meaning of the publication is determinedby the situation in which it is located, i. e. as part of a PhD submission.In this sense,the publication operatesin a manner more akin to an artwork than a book. It functions within the tradition of Duchamp'sFountain and like the urinal it meansdifferently when relocated. As a found object sited within the thesis, the HK publication is able to frame itself and its status.The opportunity to produceHK, to have the necessaryspace, support and budget, reflected my "track record" as an artist. The funding for the publication was madeavailable through similar mechanismsand validatory systems:the two main fundersbeing the Scottish Arts Council and The Modem

publication show HK being constructed;literally providing a presentationof "the work leading up to the final exhibition". Lars Bang Larsen'sessay could be seento fulfil the requirement for theoreticalreflection deemednecessary by the guidelines. However, to interpret theseelements as a fulfilment of the PhD requirementswould be to miss the point. The HK publication provides an interpretationof the requirementsfor the dossierthat is so literal minded that it could be seento function as critique. However, such a critique of the dossier is not intended to be the primary function of the HK publication, instead it servesa more complex role as the exhibition componentof the submission.The notion of the dossier is basedon a model of art production that presumesworking processesthat are far removed from my own and that are basedon an outmodedmodel of where meaning occurs. For me (as for many others) work is made in the public realm; the working processes manifest themselvesthrough commission,exhibition, publication and dissemination. Meaning is not slowly chiselled out by hand, to be then presentedwith a flourish, then left to gather dust 65

'These Institute in Glasgow. systemsof validation manifest themselvesin the HK

publication. The siting of the HK publication makes it necessaryto take accountof level the of professionalvalidation required to produce both the HK exhibition and publication. This further strategy illuminates the disparity between the submission for PhD requirements a and the methods that may need to be employed to realise them. The HK publication is a responseto this very real predicament:it provides a meansof presentingan exhibition that is able to negotiate the uncertain context of academia.The publication is framed by the context that generatedit, i. e. the context of contemporaryart practice. In a sense,the HK publication could be said to carry its context with itself. The HK publication is able to operate simultaneously both as a book and as a sited object. As such, it usestwo distinct frameworks of meaning to fulfil its remit within the PhD presentation.This strategy intends to confound linear or singular methodsof interpretation.The presentationof the HK publication for the PhD is determinedly ambiguous. Despite the HK publication's handbook-like format, it still operateswithin the interpretative framework that governsall exhibition publications. The exhibition publication is a device that convention rendersneutral; the audiencesees through it to view the artwork. The publication documents,it is both secondaryand transparent.The HK publication, as an exhibition publication, always also exists elsewhere.The HK publication may exist as a thesis within a University library; however it also exists alongside the eleven monumental letters at Tramway and the 10 photographof a woman in Venice in Frieze magazine. By submitting the HK

9 The total cost of the HK publication was just under £6000. The Scottish Arts Council The Modern Institute awarded £2500 to Tramway to produce the publication, contributed City Council £1500, with smaller awards from Glasgow and Cumbria Institute of the Arts. Leeds University contributed £500, which is the allowance available towards PhD exhibition costs. 'o Polly Staple wrote about the HK necklace at the 2003 Venice Biennale in the The contemporary art magazine Frieze photograph that accompanies the review shows 66

publication for the PhD examination I am exploiting these conventions and opportunities for meaning. Within my PhD submissionthe HK publication exists as both the exhibition component and as evidenceof anotherexhibition elsewhere.This makesthe submission knowingly misleading; it tempts the audience(the examiners)with the wider HK project. The six metre high letters at Tramway and the Venice necklace offer themselvesup for PhD examination.The mechanismsof meaning in contemporary art are such that is possiblefor the wider HK project to be both the PhD exhibition and not the PhD exhibition. Afterall, HK doesnot exist, or rather it exists through image and spokenand written words. This strategyof positioning the HK publication as the exhibition component of the PhD draws upon the interpretativediscourses of contemporaryart. One of the devices of this discourseis paradox.The HK publication, as the PhD exhibition, functions through paradox.One of the purposesof using this strategy is to reactivate the issue of parity betweenthe two contextswithin which I have been working, The positioning of the HK publication as part of the thesis forces a comparisonbetween the discursive systemsof academiaand contemporaryart. Both the wider HK project and the HK publication function by negotiating their own multiplicity of meanings.HEROIN KILLS can be seenas analogousto the way in which the HK publication operateswithin the context of this PhD submission.The way in which the HK publication presentsitself for the PhD submissionrequires that thesetwo words cannot and should not be ignored. HEROIN KILLS exists as both a physical manifestation and as a sequence of letters. It can be read as a found object, or understoodas word-language.It is both specific and random; it is about heroin becauseit cannot evade such a burden of content, but is also not about heroin at all. The words HEROIN KILLS re-mean as they re-contextulisethemselves; they reflect, know, the sites that they occupy. HEROIN KILLS becomesa sign (for itself). The words would not function as art,

Stefania Bortolami of the New York Gagosian Gallery wearing the HK necklace at a party at the PalazzoGiustinian-Lolin in Venice. 67

do, if as they they weren't "heroin" and "kills" next to eachother, in that order - yet the work simultaneouslyacts to deny the specificity of this word meaning.

The written work As with the exhibition, the submitted written work has developedin responseto the conditions of the context in which it operates.The written work attemptsto provide both an accountof the context of production, exhibition and disseminationof contemporaryart, and to demonstratethis through the form that it has adopted.It consistsof five short chapters,which together form an account of the HK project. The chapterseach adopt a distinct style or approachthat hovers, to varying degrees,somewhere between the fictional and the factual. The written work differs from the exhibition componentin that it has been produced solely becauseof the requirementsof the PhD. This is not to undermine this aspectof the thesis,rather to establishthat it is not a requirementof the parallel context of contemporaryart. This clear demarcationprovides the written work with a more easily knowable framework within which to operate.There is no overlap to negotiate.However, as I discussedearlier within this afterword, this is not to say that the written element is unproblematic.The PhD guidelines imply that there can be a straightforward relationship betweenartwork and written work. The written work that precedesthis is constructedas a responseto this. I consideredit necessaryfor the written submissionto function in relation to the work submitted for the PhD exhibition. The PhD exhibition is itself composed of words, both in the form of the HK publication and in the object-words HEROIN KILLS that the publication refers to. The inclusion of the Lars Bang Larsen text within the submissionin particular is deliberately provocative. The content and approachof the Bang Larsen essayprovides "historical context and a critical commentary" (Graduatehandbook 66) for the HK project. However, as the essayis in fact located within the exhibition elementof the PhD submissionit doesnot, and is not intendedto, fulfil this aspectof the submissionrequirements. However, the presenceof the essaywithin the overall PhD submission,can still act as a 68

persuasiveargument that a similar approachfor the written componentwould be unnecessary. My PhD researchhas been framed by the necessityto find an appropriate and acceptablesolution for the written component. In my PhD proposal in 2000 I identified a possible strategyto negotiatethe relationship betweenthe written and exhibited components.This strategyaimed to challenge the presumedmodel for writing about art by drawing upon sociological researchmethodologies. 11 Sociology is an attempt to provide an account of complex social circumstances;as such I was interestedin what models it could offer to take account of art and the context of its production. The different researchmodels each presenteddifferent possibilities. Quantitative researchmodels use statistical information to convey information about often large groups of people. This model demonstratesan almost visible discrepancybetween an experienceand the representationof it. This slippagemakes it an appealing systemto use to consider 12 art Its form readily reveals its own failure to provide a truth. Qualitative researchdraws out the narratives within society, using personal accountsacquired through a number of approaches.Recent research using qualitative models has seenthe methodology followed through to its logical conclusion, in that the researcherhas become both author and casestudy. In this, the subjective accountseems to have acquiredparity with other methodsof recording and representingexperience. 13

" In my secondyear of PhD researchI attendeda programme of postgraduateseminars within the Sociology Departmentat the University of Leeds. 12In 2003 the Scottish Arts Council published their Audit of Visual Artists. The survey used questionnairesdistributed through various artists' networks to provide an account of the social and economicposition of Scotland'sartists. I have found the audit strangely compelling; it feels as if the complex lived experienceof my contemporaries,my friends and myself has beenreconfigured into neat columns of numbers. 13In Disarming Patriarchy, SashaRoseneil used her own experiencesof living in the GreenhamCommon PeaceCamp to provide an ethnographicand historical account of a community. SashaRoseneil is Professorin Sociology and Gender Studiesat Leeds 69

This line of enquiry returned me to one of my original points of reference for my PhD proposal,Elizabeth Price's 1999 PhD thesis in Fine Art practice at Leeds 14 University. The written componentof her thesis consistedof a precise and detailed accountof her actual making of her exhibited work. By interpreting the submissionguidelines in a determinedly literal minded manner,her written work managedto provide an effective riposte to the requirementsof the PhD examination. 15 I recognisedthat rather than produce an ethnographyof a contemporaryart world, that I could considerthe context for art production through an accountof the HK project. This strategywas ratified by the decision to presentthe HK publication as the exhibition component.The different sociological methodologiesthat I had examinedsuggested a number of systemsthrough which I could take account of the HK project. I was interestedin adopting a number of approachessimultaneously, ranging from the objective to the subjective,to createa multi-layered account. These strategies tallied with the approach I had taken for my PhD upgrade in 200 1. Here the project The Glamour took account of itself through a presentation of the texts that occurred during the process of its dissemination. I began to establish an archive of documents relating to the HK project, from its inception in early 2001 in the first year of my PhD research, through to the current date. Documents include

University, however she lived at Greenhamprior to her academiccareer. Her approach appealedto me. It seemedto offer a way of taking account of the broader context of contemporaryart by focusing on the specific lived experienceswithin my immediate community of artists, writers and organisers. 14I saw Elizabeth Price presentsome of her written PhD submissionas part of Education in Reverse,a programmeof contemporaryart events,lectures and performancesorganised by the artist SarahTripp that took place in and around Glasgow in November 1999. 15In a paper by Fiona Candlin on practice basedPhDs, Elizabeth Price draws attention to the problematic relationship betweenformal critical writing and art practice and "the relative statusof thesethings within the context of the PhD... probably 90% of the formal discussionsI had were about the statusand value of the written component". Her experienceat the University of Leeds and her responseto the situation has been reflected in my own experiencesof completing a PhD. 70

orders for materialsfor the exhibition at Tramway, e-mails exchangedover the course of the project, as well as reviews and coverageof the work in newspapers andart journals. Although actual, the documentswithin this archive cannot be presumedto presentan accurateor truthful accountof the HK project. The final form of the written work draws upon this archive, but filters the evidencethrough a range of styles or genres.Although the chaptersadopt different approaches,taken together they provide a narrative to accompanythe HK project. Charactersand details of information re-occur from one chapterto anotherto reinforce the coherencethe story. The writing usesthe conventionsof contemporaryliterature to play with its own factual (or fictional) status.It adoptsa number of specific literary devices to create an effect of fiction. In one chapter,the narrative is constructedas if events have occurred in reverse;this hasthe effect of heightening the reader'sawareness of the physical and material. Other chaptersmimic the convention of incorporating texts, such as diary entries letters or e-mails into a narrative. Thesetexts are presentedas "found", although both readerand author are complicit in the deceit The written submissionsubverts this convention, transforming actual found text into 16 something that may appearfictional.

16The backwardsnarrative device has beenused by both Martin Amis in Time'sArrow and by Phillip K Dick in Counter-Clock World. AS Byatt is a particularly prolific user of fictional "found" texts within her novels. In The Biographer's Tale the central character, PhineasG Nanson, a disillusioned post-structuralistand (ex) PhD student,uncovers a box of cards that seemsat first glance to be "a file of disjunct quotations or jottings". Byatt re- presentsthese cards within the novel, allowing her to incorporate known eventsand actual characters(for example Henrik Ibsen) into what is, ultimately, knowingly, a fiction. The Biographer's Tale is a book about knowledge and the systemsthat we use to take account of or make senseof it, and as such has beenuseful reference.Other books that have been useful, both generally in terms of their approachand specifically in terms of their style are Brett EastonEllis' Glamorama and StewartHome's 69 Things to do with a Dead Princess. 71

The approachto the writing reflects the manner in which the HK project exists. The six metre high letters at Tramway exist only as photographic documentation, art reviews and the collective consensus that it did actually occur. The HK necklace at Venice is similarly present (or rather, absent). It functioned throughmyth, rumour and an occasionalsnapshot. HK is a projectthat functions primarily through spectacleand myth. In the after effects, it is myth we work with, somethinghalfway betweenfact and fiction.

A note on collaboration Collaborative practice presentsa challenge to academicconventions of authorship.The existing academicframework attempts to take accountof collaboration by using a model that presupposeseach contributor to be responsible for a specific and accountableinput, with authorship allocated on a pro rata basis. This model is inappropriateand inadequateto deal with collaboration within creative practice.Collaborative creative practice posits a model of production that occurs outwith the individual subject.It is a model that is intrinsically social: it exists as a dialogue within the wider discourseof its context. Collaboration provides an opportunity to test the parametersof an artwork's production, presentationand interpretation.It is a device through which to consider how an artwork means. 17 The HK project is an exampleof such a process. The work is presented & under the joint authorshipof JoanneTatham Tom O'Sullivan, somethingthat is 18 itself an acceptedconvention within the context of contemporaryart. However, the HK project functions as an event that both necessitatesand creates

17Here I mean the HK project as it occurredat Tramway, the Venice Biennale etc. "The agreedform for the collaborative authorshipis "JoanneTatham & Tom O'Sullivan". There is an inclination to either reversethe names,placing Tom's name first, or to remove our first names.Interestingly, The Modem Institute, the Glasgow gallery that representsus often describesus as "Tatham O'Sullivan", creating a further, third, single identity. 72

collaborations,in both its production and its reception. 19The meaningof the work is determinedthrough its existencewithin the public realm; it exists within a terrain of knowledgethat results from collected experienceand is not the consequenceof authorial determination. The thesis,Heroin Kills; context and meaning in contemporaryart practice is not a collaborative work. At the beginning of this endnoteI outlined my rationale for the separateelements that comprisethe thesis. Each of theseelements - the exhibition (which is also the dossier)and the written work, exists as a positioned artefact. They cannotbe read or understoodoutwith the context in which they are seen,i. e. the context of a PhD submissionin Fine Art practice. This framework of interpretation allows me to claim sole authorship in a manner that an artist presentinga found object in a gallery would claim sole authorship.This processis in fact analogousto the way in which the HK project itself operates;it is the presentationof a found sign, mademeaningful through its context(s). This line of reasoningproposes that the author of a PhD in Fine Art practice is defined differently than an author of, for example, an Art History PhD. As a practice led submission,the Fine Art PhD must necessarilytake account of concepts of authorshipthat exist within the wider context of art, yet this inevitably presentsa challengeto the predominantacademic model. Whilst we would not have difficulty attributing authorshipto an artist who was not directly involved in the manufacture

"The following people in particular all played key roles in the project. Robert Johnston designedthe letter font, as well as collaborating on the design of the publication and Tramway publicity material; Lars Bang Larsen wrote essaysfor the HKpublication and a shorter essayfor the Tramway exhibition; lain Kettles, the Tramway gallery manager,along with the technical team designedand built the letters at Tramway; Alexia Holt, Tramway visual arts officer until 2003, commissionedthe HK exhibition; Anne Lindsay produced the HKnecklace for Zenomapin Venice; StefaniaBortolami, Enrico David, Adam Szymcyk and Pavel Buchler amongstothers hosted the necklace in Venice, Toby Webster initiated the HK marble; Polly Staplereviewed the HK necklace in Frieze. All of thesepeople, as well as many otherscontributed to the discussion,which enabledHK to enter into a public discourseand into the realm of meaning. 73 of their own work, such an approachis not so easily absorbedinto models of academicactivity. I wanted this thesis to considerthe implications of joint or multiple This authorship in both the contexts of contemporary practice and academia. thesis finds and frames the collaboration(s)that occur within my practice. The collaboration of JoanneTatham & Tom O'Sullivan occupiesa similar relationship to the thesis as the artworks that are produced within it. Both the collaboration and the artworks are absentsignifiers; they inform interpretation but for the reasonsoutlined in this preface,always remain elsewhere. 74

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Superflex, (1997 ongoing) Biogas. [Artwork: ongoing project in various locations] Sutherland, G. (2001) A question of heroin chic. Sunday Herald. December 160' 2001, p. 9.

Tatham, J. & O'Sullivan, T. (1999) The Mirror and the Masque. [Artwork: ongoing archive/events] Tatham, J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2000) The Glamour. Glasgow: TransmissionGallery. [Artwork: installation] Tatham, J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2001) HK. Glasgow: Tramway. [Artwork: installation] Tatham,J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2001) The Glamour. Madrid: ARCO art fair, with The Modem Institute, Glasgow. [Artwork: installation] Tatham,J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2001) The Glamour. Berlin: Berlin Biennale 2. [Artwork: installation] Tatham, J., O'Sullivan, T. & Bradley, W. (2001) The Glamour. Glasgow: TransmissionGallery. Tatham, J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2002) The Glamour. Liestal, Switzerland: Kunsthalle Palazzo.[Artwork: installation] Tatham,J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2003) HK marble. [Artwork: sculpture] Tatham, J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2003) HK necklace.Venice: Zenomap, 50thVenice Biennale. [Artwork: event] Tatham, J. & O'Sullivan, T. (2004) HK necklacewith jester. [Artwork: sculpture] 79

Tiravanija, R. (September25`h 1999) Community Cinemafor a quiet intersection (against Oldenburg) Glasgow. commissionedby The Modem Institute. [Artwork: sited event] Tripp, S. (1999) Education in Reverse.Glasgow. [Artwork: public events] Tripp, S. (1997) Marc Diaz questionedby SarahTripp In: C. Woodley, (ed). StopStop.Glasgow: StopStop.Pp. 62 - 66. Tufnell, R (2002) JoanneTatham and Tom O'Sullivan. Untitled. Spring 2002, pp. 30 - 31. Tufnell, R. (2002) JoanneTatham and Tom O'Sullivan. Frieze. Issue 55, pp. 118. Uklanski, P. (1998) Untitled (The Full Burn), Luxembourg: Manifesta H. [Artwork: event] Ulclanski,P. (1998) TheNazis, London: Photographer'sGallery. [Artwork: installation]

Vowles, H. & Banks, G. (1991) Catalogue May 91. London: Gimpel Fils. Wallinger, M. & Warnock, M., (eds). (2000) Art for All. London: PEER. Wikstrom, Erling Kjell E. (1999) Gunde, and - Three Tranquil and Hard-Working Work live Swedish Men Who Would Rather than on Social Security and Respect Women. Karlskrona, Sweden: commissioned by The National Art Public Council.

[Artwork: public event] Wikstrom, E. & Lind, M. (1999) A conversationbetween Elin Wikstrom and Maria Lind In: W. Bradley, C. Esche,A. Nacking & M. Lind, ThreePublic Projects; Mike Bode, Superjlex, and Elin Wikstrom.Karlskrona, Sweden:Blekinge Museum. Pp

66 -103. Wilkes, C. (1997) The Lion For Real In: C. Woodley, (ed). StopStop.Glasgow:

StopStop.Pp. 58 - 61. ýipl$I4 THE PRESSrelease for HK, issuedby Tramway on the 12thNovember 2ooi, referred specificallyto JoanneTatham and Tom O'Sullivan'searlier projectsand to recentexhi- bitions at TransmissionGallery The ModemInstitute and The Showroom. The intention was to communicatesomething of the artists'practice, their concernsand approachto their work, without describingliterally what HK wasactually going to be.Although the text mentionedTatham and O'Sullivan'scurrent research into the anti-drugscampaigns of the eightiesand their mediarepresentation, it did not explainwhat the sculpturalinst- allation would consistof, or evenwhat the lettersof the title might standfor. If this wasa strategyto intrigue the readerit wassuccessful. Those who workedon the installationof HK wereasked repeatedly by friendsin Glasgowwhat the showwas about and what the artists were up to. Onejournalist who cameto the previewon the 22ndNovember had deliberatelyavoided certain peoplein casethey gaveit all away.However, beyond the immediateeffect of creatinga senseof anticipationaround HK, the releasewas ultim. ately entirely appropriateto the project.By not dictatingat this early stagewhat HK was or might be about, this preliminary text seemedto predict the considerablelevels of debatethat surroundedthe show.It alsoimplied that HK would not be limited to just one exhibition but couldcontinue to developthrough a seriesof relatedprojects. The enigmasurrounding the exhibition was supersededby the physicalimpact and monumentalpresence of the installation itself. On one level,the work was a direct res- ponseto the vastscale and hard,industrial characterof the gallery.During a month-long residencyin the summerof 2ooiTatham and O'Sullivanhad worked with lain Kettles, Tramway'sGallery Manager,to developa systemof constructionfor the elevensix- metre-highletters. The scaleof this sculpturenecessitated, by mid-November,a team of sevenpeople to completethe installation over a three week period.Photographs were taken during everystage of the project to recordnot only the magnitudeof the build itself but also the ways in which visitors negotiatedand interactedwith the work. The physicalexperience of standingbetween the letters- at a point where the senseof any text fadesaway - wascrucial to the work asa whole. developed In collaboration with Robert Johnston,the artists had adaptedand a specificfont for the letters.However, the useof text wasnot limited to the main gallery.A seriesof posters,located on a purpose-builtwall in Tramway'sentrance foyer, presented statementsand abstractsof interviewscollated as an integral part of the project.Over a families, six month period, Tatham and O'Sullivan met heroin usersand their social

3 Glasgow.Those workersand project managers to recordtheir experiencesof drug usein few individualsthat took part were extremelygenerous with their time andstories: were unwilling to havetheir commentstranscribed and displayed,and many took an active high- part in the process.Beyond the act of testimony,the presenceof thesestatements lighted the methodologyof the artists' practiceand locatedHK within an ongoingdia- loguecentral to the work of Tatham and O'Sullivan,in which the parametersof whatcan be consideredto be art arechallenged and the processesof its productionare continually and emphaticallyexposed. A further text was a commissionedcritical essayby the writer and curatorLars Bang Larsen,available at the exhibition as a posterto take away.Larsen's ongoing involve- ment with HK hasbeen a key elementin the way the projecthas developed, and for this publicationhe has written a new text that expandsupon his original essay.HK was arguablythe mostcontroversial exhibition at Tramwayin recentyears and it is therefore particularly appropriateto producea publicationwhich not only documentsthe work but develops also the numerousideas and concernsthat it putsforward.

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R Vladimir Tatlin'sMonument to the Third international paradedin a Moscowstreet, 1927.

Demonstrationby Citroenworkers, Paris 1968.Citroen workers became involved in theFrench generalsinke after studentspicketed the factoryand handedout leafletsto workers.

Cuttingfrom The NewYork Timesshowing Herbert Hainer, head of Adidas-Soloman,May 2003.

Negativlandresponding to the temporaryrestraining order issued against them in rggr,after theyreleased a singleparodying the U2 songI still haven'tfound what rin looking for.

KatherineHamnett and MargaretThatcher at a Downing Streetreception forBritish Fashion Week,1984.

Saatchiand Saatchi;Labour Isn t Working,1978. This poster is often creditedas instrumental in the collapseof the Callaghan-ledLabour governmentand the subsequentelection success of the ConservativeParty. john Leech,cartoon published in Punch.Leech worked for Punchbetween 1817 and 1864.

GeorgeCruickshank, The peril of changingthe British Constitution,i8ig.

Modelof the Spireof Notre-Damede Paris, built by the CompagnonsCharpentiers, r97r.

Foundillustration,

AgnoloBronzino,Eleonora of Toledo-Mediciwith Giovanni Medici, 1546.

StefaniaBortolami of the GagosianGallery, New York wearingthe HK necklaceat thePalazzo Giustinian-Lolin, Venice,2003.

RobertMorris, detail from a posteraccompanying the exhibition Labyrinth-Voice-Blindtime at Leo CasIelliGallery; New York 1974.

Cuttingfrom The Daily Record showing demonstrators with a homemade banner on an anti- drugsmarch in Glasgow,April zoor.

Cuttingfrom The Daily Recordshowing demonstrators on an anti-drugsmarch in Glasgow, April 2001. IT'S NOT a sloganbut it soundslike one,like smokingkills, or speedkills. But opacityof meaningsucceeds the bombast:How doesheroin kill? Doesit kill everybodyor just a few? Who is telling us? Don't we alreadyknow? Why are the letters six metreshigh? And why complicatethe reading of the sculptedwords by exhibiting interviewswith heroin users,their advisorsand families? Or is it the sculpturethat complicatesthe readingof the interviews? A userpresumably doesn't care whether 'heroin kills, just assmokers don't spendgood smoking time worrying about lung cancer.The slogan'smoking kills' now appearson cigarettepackets, and perhapsthis makesan impressionas you work your way through the first one,but afterthat the wordsare null andvoid. The inconclusivefatalism of 'heroin kills', consideredas language,is gnomic.It will neverhave any agencyin the world: it comeseither too soonor too late.To the user it functionsas a deferredmessage, resonating in the guilt of addiction(`one more fix, then I will kick). If heroin doeskill the user,it becomesvalid, but too late. And if the user indeedchooses to stop,it isn't thanks to the sloganas language,but only to what we imagine is the intention behind the statement.The perceptionof classA drugs is that thereis no outsideto their useand that the insideis untouchable.You either do them or you don't,and if you do you are in real trouble.At the sametime, heroin'smorbid gravity overpowersa legislativerationality whose prohibitions played a part in creating the drug'smythology In the first place.The residue of heroin is somekind of dark glamouzit fucksthings up and makesyou interesting.The words'heroin kills' sit inconvenientlyon the fence,and we won't find meaningful presenceon either side.Heroin kills, heroin keepskilling. Physicallythe letters are too big for their messageto be quite legible.You are nece- ssarily myopic;you can say it but you can't seeit. It is clear that we are dealing with heroin as a sign, spelledout in letters three or four times our own size.However, this doesn'tmuch help our effortsat characterisation:even as a sign,'heroin' is still a forceful referentthat cannotbe abstractedwith impunity, and the disproportionatescale of the lettersonly remindsus of that fact Thereis no telling if the wordsshould be shoutedor But becauseheroin is whispered. then - is heroin - the waveringof meaning overtaken by the sinister,though baffling,Immediacy of the statementitself. You don't expectirony here.You want art to assumea moreresponsible stance, not to be testing attitudes to art. To allow for semiotic redundancyIn issuesthat cut to the

35 marrow of the socialseems frivolous, flippant in a nihilistic, punk rock sort of way.Punk made a habit of stealing and emptying out moral signifiers,from Will Damage Your Health by The Cigarettes,to The Ramones'Blitzkrieg Bop and Joy Division's casual referenceto sexualexploitation in the Nazi concentrationcamps. In his autobiography, JohnnyRotten recalls how he would cleanhis fingernailswith Sid Vicious'smuch-hated girlfriend Nancy'ssyringes so her skin would get infectedfrom mainlining. But punk wasn'tjust the free play of ugly signsfor the hell of it. Therewas a political aspectto the way it phasedout authority. Punk referencedmorbid and disgustingthings that couldn'tpossibly signify anything other than themselves:glue sniffing, abortions, nose picking and wanking vicars- becausethe world is ugly and insane,and whateveryou say or do there is nothing you cando to embellishit. It is as obvious as the letters themselves that neither the exhibition, nor the message it propounds, can solve any problems. There is something self-destructive in addressing this level of responsibility. It is hard to imagine another messagewritten six metres high that would carry the same level of contradiction; MEDIOCRITYKILLS or POLLUTIONKILLS, although truthful, just wouldn't have been the same` HEROINKILLS becomes a yoke on our shoulders because the uncertainty about the statement's how, what, when and whom makes a dramatic contrast to the tragic value we tend to give to the word 'heroin'. The statementshuns the deictic,the linguistic mechanismthat distinguishesbetween here and there,now and then, we and you and therebygives authority to an assertion and the theoreticalenterprise that decodesit Becauseof this evasionit isn't evenobvious how the sentenceoperates or how it can be talked about,and this is a significantpart of the way it comprehendsitself. In the words of the literary theorist Paul de Man, it be- comesan allegoryof its own reading. To de Man, the radical act of readingcan't be admittedby any theoreticalenterprise but has to be understoodthrough itself. De Man shows how reading resists being understoodby theory,but at the sametime can only be worked through by theory.We can't know what theory is unlesswe get to grips with what reading is: the two pre- supposeeach other like chicken and egg. Samenessand differenceare intertwined and set each other in motion, and theory paradoxically confirms reading's self- referentiality.Jorge Louis Borges said that allegory is 'an aestheticmirror'; de Man would argue that reading mirrors itself in allegory.The allegoricaldrive is literature

36 turning inward to its own rhetorical form, where reading and theory are shown to be twins feedingoff eachother. In the sameway, de Man proposes,we haveto find the linguistic momentIn painting and music.' Of course,allegory is nothing new to visual art, it usedto be the secrethand- fact shakeof classicalpainting. HK, however,is an allegorycomplicated by the that its linguistic both 'images'- the word-sculptureand the interviews- are structuresthat con- from vey and resistthe real.Language's resistance to language'sown drift away the real is what allows HK to simultaneouslymake contradictorypropositions, tragic and re- dundant,obscure and transparent,overwhelming and insufficient,art and non-art.As de Man puts it, '... there is probablyno word to be found in the languagethat Is as over- determined,self-evasive, disfigured and disfiguringas "language." The sameshakeout is hinted at in the title, [eiti keil. We know what H is, K is moreelusive, together they fail completelyto gel into a symbol.And that is when you don't evenconsider the sizeof the head lan- word-sculptureitself. In HK, power and representationgo head to through guageand scale. Obviously,what is representedand what is meantIn HK aren'tseparated, as they usu- ally are in an allegory with proper didactic qualities,but are both subject to extra- polation and collision. Allegory is on the side of dysfunction,as shown In the exag. black hollow) gerateddiscrepancy between the materiality of the signifier (massive, and Its dyn- with the materiality of what it signifies(almost not there).But we can't isolate amicshere, that would be to relegatethe projectto the realm of theoreticaland artistic space.Instead, HK's readingpasses through layersof cultural and socialsignification it can't master. Allegory in itself isn't an active form. Although he developedan anti-authoritative his theory of reading,de Man neveropened an explicitly political dimensionIn writing. Glasgow's But, as HK deconstructsitself, historical markers are closeby. HK indicates both massivedrug problem,only to withdraw to becomeits own problem.It operates as a contextualdialectic and an autonomousform, a historicallyInformed and self-conscious genrepiece, with and againstthe spaceIt is in` design As if to suggestthis vortex that sucksin any attemptat closure,the original for the HK posterdisplayed a spiral,lifted from the coverdesign of William Burroughs'The Wild Boys' RobertSmithson, writing abouthis famousLand Art pieceSpiral Jetty (ig7o), developsthe spiral asa figure of infinity and fluid scale:

37 Thescale of the SpiralJetty tendsto fluctuatedepending on wherethe viewerhappens to be.Size determinesan object,but scaledetermines art A crackin the wall if viewedin termsof scale,not size,could be calledthe Grand Canyon.A room could be madeto take on the immensityof the solar system.Scale depends on one's capacityto be consciousof the actualitiesof perception. Whenone refusesto releasescale from size,one is left with an objector a languagethat appears tobe certain.For me, scaleoperates by uncertainty.To be In the scaleof the SpiralJetty is to be out of ft.... This descriptionechoes and reflectsBrancusis sketch of JamesJoyce as a'spiral ear' becauseit suggestsboth a visual and an aural scale,in other words it indicatesa senseof scale that resonatesin the eyeand the ear at the sametime. HereIs a reinforcementand prolongation of spiralsthat reverberatesup and down spaceand time. So It is that oneceases to considerart in terms of an 'object: The fluctuating resonancesreject 'objectivecriticism; becausethat would stifle the generativepower of both visual and auditory scale.Not to saythat one resortsto'sub- jectiveconcepts; but rather that one apprehendswhat is around one'seyes and ears,no matter how unstableor fugitive.One seizes the spiral,and the spiralbecomes a seizure.'

Whenone acceptsuncertainty, the spiral canbecome a trap, and hencereal. In Alfred Hitchcock'sVertigo (1958) the spiral indeedbecomes a traumaticfixation point for James Stewart's character,Scottie, caught In a play of doublesin the settingof 'a vastsimulacra built by demiurge, frozen an evil and peopledwith automatons:' The seizure- in this casecaused by the conjunctionof Scottie'svertigo as he climbs the spiral staircasewith Madeleine's apparentsuicide - is the result of a paranoidtwist of anxiety that responds to a threateningobject by magnificationor diminution, therebyattributing to it dispro- portionatepower. In the spiral,human experiencereaches the limits of intelligibility. Still, in the midst of HK's figural form it is impossibleto forget the destiny of the victims.In other words,Joanne Tatham and Tom O'Sullivanare caughtbetween being artistsin the morning and activistsin the afternoon.'Then why don't they make up their ' minds? one could ask. And why don't they decidewhether we are an art audienceor visitorsto a communityproject? Because to be an artist in the morning and an activistin the afternoon,and admitting asmuch, is clearlydifferent from beingeither all day,and it is differentfrom fusing the two. The artist-or-activistsqueeze becomes relevant from the perspectiveof the civic decline of the rggos,as representednot only by the rise of right wing populismbut also by the realisationof 'third way' ideologies.This politically flexible 'third way' paradigm

38 has spreadfrom Tony Blair's New Labourto other EuropeanSocial Democratic parties, and then to bona fide neo-liberals,who would find its tenetsstrangely familiar. This is Anthony Giddens'1998 list of catchwordsfor'third way'values:

EQUALITY PROTECTIONOF THE VULNERABLE FREEDOM AS AUTONOMY

NO RIGHTS WITHOUT RESPONSIBILITIES

NO AUTHORITY WITHOUT DEMOCRACY

COSMOPOLITAN PLURALISM

PHILOSOPHIC CONSERVATISM$

Theseslogans may seemaxiomatic, but we mayalso, five yearson, reflect on their real political meaningsand effectsin a way that compromisestheir origin in the abstract spaceof political science. We can imagineGiddens'slogans as the positiveinversion of HK'sblack malediction, spelledout six metreshigh on top of Whitehall,but what elsedoes the'third way' haveto do with HK's artist/activistdouble-bind? First of all, concurrentlywith the development of `third way' ideology,behaviour has become aesthetic through immaterial labour's new patterns of communicationand consumption?In this new paradigm of labour, prod- uction takesplace in a mannersimilar to the way artists investtheir subjectivityin the reshufflingof information.Secondly, it couldbe arguedthat, as a result of third way pol- Ides, citizenshipis at oddswith economics,because the constitutionof public discourse hasbeen shifted to financialconcerns and individuality haslost its symbolicvalue. Now, let us take for grantedthat when artistsact in socialreality thereis no functionallink bet- ween their art and real politics;and that, on the other hand,when you act as an activist you investyour citizenshipin an exemplaryway. But the rolesof citizenand artist have been rearrangedand confused,so, today, to be a citizen is to be an artist, and to be an artist is often to be an activist HK, with its two components,refers to art of the ig8osand 'goswith an activistslant: the block lettersrecall BarbaraKruger's billboards; the structurallydifferent elements of the installation, the sculpture and the interviews, form a combo similar to Group Material'sintertwining of art, informationand politics.In that typeof juxtapositionof art

39 and documentation,different discoursesare shownto affecteach other, but HK Isn't out to expandthe limits of artistic agency,In fact it could look like it performsan almostself- deprecatorydemarcation of what art can do. Somebody'sgetting their feetstuck under- neaththose ostentatious letters. If JoanneTatham and Tom O'Sullivan had made a gesturetowards a homogenous presentationof the two componentsof HK, they couldhave condensed their positionInto an'artist-activist'hybrid. However,the two tiers of UIKset up a divided terrain where but kept differentproperties exist simultaneously- in parallel or in contradiction, apart asentities in order to maintain the possibilityfor their integratedevaluation without rec- ourseto transcendencefrom the real. But if it only were that easyto establishmaterial reality through HK. In Brett Easton Ellis'snovel American Psycho (iggi) there areseveral good examples of the impassesthat our desirecan lure us into. Ironically enough,one of them seemsto be involuntary.The chapter'Concert'is abouta U2 gig.Other representationsof popmusic in the book (apart from the name-dropping)are monographicessays on pop greatsGenesis, Huey Lewis and WhitneyHouston. apparently authored by the main characterPatrick Bateman and insertedas breaks in the narrative.To explain the highs and lows of a careerappears to be Bateman'sIdea of connoisseurship.In the fictional economyof the book this life- lessnessneeds a counterpartIn genuine artistic expression.At the U2 gig, Ill at ease becausehe hates live music, Bateman suddenlyfeels an inexplicablecorrespondence with theband's singer, an epiphanythat strafesthe veneerof yuppieculture. [ Thatis the risk whenyou operatewith Indivisibletelerents. You risk Bono.Of course, couldbe doing Ellis an Injusticehere. You could argueit is a questionof taste;maybe Bono to travelswell acrossthe Atlantic: or maybeIt wasn'tsuch an obviousdiscrepancy the pin an ethics on U2 during the uninspiring political and musical apocalypsesof 1g8os.Joanne Tatham and Tom O'Sullivanshow where and how this crisis of authentic signshurts, because they don't point to signsthey hopewill providethem with a get-out Glasgow's clause.Instead they make themselvescomplicit with the impossibility of heroinproblem. It is HK itself knows Its messageIs compensatory.We can't parsethe sentence. as thoughit hasfallen from somehigher realm of reliablesignification to crash-landacross the tramlines of Tramway's concretefloor. HK deals at the same time with a socio- drama political problem, an artistic problem and a meta-artisticproblem. With this

40 heroin has come home, in a way that is muter and more matter-of-factthan Irvine Welsh'searly iggos tales of smackheids(that to someextent followed Alexander Trocchi's idea of heroin asa protestform). From a historicalperspective, Richard Davenport-Hines writes aboutthe classissue of Scottishdrug misuse:

Scotland'sexperience Indicated that socialdeprivation was becoming a significantcause of drug misuse,and that povertyand barbaroussurroundings made such misuse more Intractable. Overall, the Edinburghand Glasgowclinic policiesof the ig6oswere myopicand narrow-minded.As in- tended,they only displacedthe pain from their communities.In the early hoursof a dismal wet London morning in 1g6gMargaret Tripp watchedintravenous barbiturate-users, 'loaded with barbs, abscessesand their internal conflicts; circling near the Eros statue in Piccadilly.They formed a small group,mainly Scotsand Irish and all troubledwith... a strangecombination of uncontrolledaggression alternating with servility which makesequal loving relationshipsprac- tically impossible.Separated from their friends and family, the Dilly was their end point, there was nowhereelse for them to go:"

Heroin addictionis often only visible as a classproblem, but eventhen it is always displaced,pushed outside. When the Glasgowtabloid TheDaily Recordturned the fight againstdrugs into a mediaevent in 2001,it authoriseditself to becomea mouthpiecefor communityprotest. The anti-heroinmarch that the Recordsponsored presented a corp- orate vision of a united front, defining heroin abuseas a problem to be isolatedand disowned,while claiming 'ordinary people' and 'the real world' for itself with self- promoting populist rhetoric.Everyone but the user seemsto get somethingout of the junk scene. HK posesas a messageeverybody is supposedto benefit from, just as everybodyis supposedto benefitfrom art. The conventionalnotion of aestheticsis that of an edifying presencewithin the bourgeoispublic sphere.It existsfor the stimulation of the indi- vidual imaginationon the horizon of the commongood. Aesthetics isn't about the con- tent of different evaluations,but about the effect of meaning:we are able- so the But Westernsubject was told -to have experienceregardless of class,gender, race etc. where the Westernsubject has had the right to his or her own aesthetictaste since the heroin 18thcentury, drugs forbid the subject'sperformance and productivity.Art and are both universal quantities- heroin as the sign that travels intravenously,art as the

41 both that involve slowestof all liberators- and are propositions the whole of socio- political life in an arbitrary but absolute way. For example,aesthetic experience re- presentsdisinterested well-being, the metaphysicalequivalent of the opiate high. As heightenedexperiences, heroin and art are supposedto work bestfor and in themselves accordingto quite different ideasof purity. Art through its philosophicalautonomy, and heroin asa debaserwith which you can abjure the world.To the bourgeoismind heroin will pollute anything it touches,and art will be tainted by any exterior source.Heroin: corrosive.Art: edifying. But in both cases,when on heroin or art, the modem subject appearsto be most intensivelyherself. As AlexanderTrocchl realised,heroin wasn't merely a 'critical tool' to subvertcoun- terfeit individuality, but an indulgenceof great vanity too-it flows in my veins,Iam turnedon. Smack is the surfeit of self:

his - Cain at his orisons,Narcissus at mirror. The mind under heroin evadesperception as it doesordinarily; one is awareonly of contents. But that whole way of posing the question,of dividing the mind from what it's awareof, Is fruitless.Nor is it that the objectsof perceptionare Intrusivein an electricway as they are under mescalinor lysergicacid, nor that things strike one with more Intensityor in a more enchanted or detailedway as I havesometimes experienced under marijuana;it is that the perceivingturns inward,the eyelidsdroop, the blood is awareof itself, a slow phosphorescencein all the fabric of flesh and nerveand bone;it is that the organismhas a senseof being intact and unbrittle, and, aboveall, inviolable."

As a sign heroin is ultra-hedonisticand self-referential.It cancelsout body,freedom anddesire. Most other drugs make you feel or do somethingelse. Heroin doesn't enhance your performancein any way, quite the opposite.It is the oppositeto the expressive. Heroin is indifference,a-effect. Insofar as heroin connotesdeath and deathoverlaps with the back fasc- real- the latter two being entirely at one with themselves- we bounce In ination and fear.In HK, however,our next moveis alreadyprefigured: we will go round once more in the spiral and explore another allegorical turn In Its specificity and historicity. Let us go backto the 'primal scene'of fart pour l'art sincethis is what seemsto fuel HK'sallegorical engine. In the early15oos, Italy wasinvaded by theSpanish and

42 the French,and the Reformationwas in full swing. The fiction of a balancedstate of affairs could no longer be maintained.Mannerist art grew out of the perfectforms of Renaissanceart but, sensitiveto the impending doom all around, rejectedits philo- sophical harmony.Mannerist art indirectly expressedthe historical crisis: economic disarray,religious intoleranceand what, in Machiavelli'seuphemism, is called'political realism. With Mannerism, nature had had her day. More than any previous art trend, Mannerismdeconstructed the art of the precedingepoch, turning Renaissanceform into a rhetoricalreservoir a convention.But Mannerismtried too hard:igth centuryart histo- rians saw it as an anomaly,set against the Renaissance,and later neo-Classical,myth of Naturalism.Ruskin alliterated that FlorentineMannerism was vile, vacantand void" Arnold Hauser,however doesn t passjudgement:

We dealinghere, in the are other words,with a completelyself-conscious style ... consciousatt- the is directed to defining itself the theoretical ention of artist ... the artistic purpose - progr- amme is no longer concernedmerely with methods,but alsowith aims.From this point of view, Mannerism is the first modem style, the first concernedwith a cultural problem and which regardsthe relationshipbetween tradition and innovationas a problemto be solvedby rational means.... it is impossibleto understandmannerism if one doesnot graspthe fact that its imit- ation of classicalmodels is an escapefrom the threateningchaos, and that the subjectiveover- straining of its formsis the expressionof the fear that form might fail in the strugglewith life and art fadeinto soullessbeauty. "

But the rational meansslipped. Mannerism's approach was cool,but not necessarily born of reason.It enlistedopposites to exist side by side,uniting the prudish with the lewd, the economicwith the extravagant,the spontaneouswith the affected,and idio- syncrasywith a belief in authority." In architecture,this breaking up of spaceintroduced Raumflucht, 'space flight, a strategyfor explodingcentral perspectiveby emphasisinga building's horizontal dim- ension.The building becomesa line of flight becauseits vertical hierarchyis eroded. Hausermentions the lossof spatialunity in painting asthe moststriking exampleof the way that 'thereis no relationshipcapable of logicalformulation between the sizeand the thematicimportance of the figures"' It is impossibleto decodea pictureaccording to the

43 principleof hierarchicalsize because the leadingtheme is suppressedand pictorial space usurpedby secondarymotifs. With his chilly depictionsof Florentinenobility, the late manneristAgnolo Bronzino is the foremostexponent of the court painting of the period.But It Isn't in overexciteddepic- tions of the body or subjectivelyre-arranged pictorial spacethat Bronzino'smanner appears.In his portraits of a stoicallyglazed aristocracy he locatesexpressivity In pains- taking representationsof the Nebenwerk,the peripheraldetail that surroundsthe osten- sible subject of the painting; vestment,armoury, jewellery, decor.In the portrait of Eleonoreof Toledo(ca. 1544-45) You will loseyourself in the tiny surfacesof her dress:a stunningnegative of black and gold, it is crownedby Eleonore'smannequin shoulders and a puff sleeve,from which a hand extends,lily white and limp as an octopuson land. By her side Giovanni,the baby prince.There is often not much psychologyin the art of troubledtimes. The overworkedNebenwerk is the exhaustionof subjectivity. It could be arguedthat for every Classicismthere is a Mannerism,unadjusted, sec- retive,decadent, in which the artist works againstthe nothingnessof history to produce irrefutablelooks and styles!' In HK, admittedly,you can't accusethe leading theme of being underrepresented.It is rather the oppositethat is the case,but that could be an equallymannerist move. The primary motif is debunkedby its own excess.For their participationin the 2003Venice art biennial,Tatham and O'Sullivancame up with a new HK design:HEROIN ]KILLS refashioned as jewellery,a gold pendant.This heroin chic numberadorned various artworld figureshandpicked by the artists.We canimagine that it disturbedthe socialtransparency of its wearerand started a familiar,laborious process of decoding,in a repriseof the way that Eleonoreis freeze-driedby her eloquentdress. The HK necklacewas an incorrectornament, incorrectly worn by the art-world aristo- cracy,in their dampand beautifulAdriatic prison. Fast-forwardingfrom Mannerisma few hundredyears, we cannow be more accurate in pinning down HK's style allegiance.It isn't a post-punkstyle after all. Although, to paraphraseTrocchl, it is born of the respectfor the whole chemistryof alienation,HK doesn'thave an uncomplicatedcause the way punk did!' Punk was straightforwardly propagandist,like the Baroque,and a negationof art like Dada.Its bilious histrionics were anarchistand its vexations ultra-egalitarian:punk actually cared.HK is more exclusive.Although producedin a way that implicatesneither the masternor the ama- far teur,the HEROINKILLS letters are all in the samefont, nicelycut, drilled into line and

44 from the cut-up stylings of punk graphics.And it would nevercross a punk's mind to allegorise. Instead,appropriately enough given the way it was echoedby post-punkbands like the Bansheesand The Damned we will haveto look to the Gothic,which wasaltogether more elitist and right wing." CourtMannerism was the first greatinternational style after the gothic periodin the Middle Ages,and the echoof its split origin recursin the Gothic revival of the 17thcentury, which perhapsexplains the spiritual ecstasy,mysticism and anti-humanismthat runs through both styles. Robert Smithson implicitly connects Mannerismand Gothic:

Manneristart is often calledpseudo, sick, perverse, false, phoney and decadentby the naturalists or truth tellers,yet it seemsto me that what the Manneristaesthetic does disclose or recoveris a senseof primal evil"

The coupling of Mannerismand Gothic also ties into the modernistfigure of enga- gement As the philosopherBoris Groys has shown, assuming that we areabsolutely free to chose,the possibility of treasonis an intrinsic part of the nature of engagementIf engagementcan't be betrayedit is no engagement,but merely an expressionof outer or inner necessityto which you may passivelysubmit In orderfor art to engageitself polit- ically, it has to learn treason:in breakingwith its own tradition art getsthe necessary freedomto engage?* Mannerism and Gothiclearn treasonthe hard way,as their desires to staytrue to tradition are forbiddenby historicalloss. Where avant-garde movements readily embracedthe political by denouncingtradition, this aesthetictreason weighs heavilyon Manneristsand Goths.Accordingly, their political possibilityhas turned in on itself. It lies insteadIn blowing the coversof identity and history and showingthem for what they really are:charades, stylised and discontinuous. While Mannerism has been dismissedas an afterthoughtto the Renaissance,the In the Gothic-albeit of the order of `low' culture-has proved to be quite persistent Gothic,new forms and motifs appearthrough dislocation.Its versatilityis almostprom- iscuous,drawing on a swatheof signification since it cameback from the medieval. Having servedboth as a vehicle for the discontentsof the political classesof the 18th century,and an awe-inspiringarchitectural style for the nobility in the early19th, it plays its foremostrole in a nihilist dialectic.

45 (TheGothic] revival was an expressionof the Counter-Enlightenment,the emotional,aesthetic and philosophical reaction against the prevalent eighteenth-centurybelief that by right reasoninghumankind could achievetrue knowledgeand harmonioussynthesis, and hence obtain perfectvirtue and felicity. Enlightenmentphilosophers sought to dispensewith the prej- udices,errors, superstitions and fearswhich they believedhad beenfostered by a selfishpriest- hood in supportof tyrants;but their theoriesof knowledge,human nature and societyseemed dire and dismalto thosewho believedthat fearcould be sublime"

Davenport-Hinesfurther arguesthat the resurgenceof new Gothic in recentyears has been provokedby a new fundamentalism,and by mainstreamculture's aim to infan- tilise, cleanseand control.HK locatesitself in a critical red zonewhere it statesits busi- nesswith the'simplicity of profoundcorruption, a negativitythat is at the sametime the seedof its own dissolutionn The monumentalsentence in the gallery maintains one of the staplesof the Gothic mode,that of enormouspower put forth and resistanceovercome. The body in HK, summonedby default by the sculpture'soverwhelming proportions, is downcastand humiliated,awaiting only a giant flyswatter.However, the overcomingof resistancenot only lies in the letters'gigantism, but most of all in the paradoxicaleffect of the referent made terrorising becauseit is evasive.Once again,the twisted intelligenceof Evil is victorious. In the classicGothic novel The Castleof Otranto (1764),Horace Walpole describes how the houseof PrinceManfred has been corrupted by Manfred'slate grandfather,who criminally separatedthe principality from its rightful owners.Divine powersintervene to offer a restorationas, immediately before his wedding,Manfred's ailing son Conradis crushedin the castle'scourtyard by the suddensupernatural appearance of a gigantic steelhelmet, complete with plume:

But his buried - what a sight for a fathers eyes!- He beheld child dashedto pieces,and almost underan enormoushelmet, an hundredtimes more largethan any casqueever made for human being,and shadedwith a proportionablequantity of black feathers"

For Walpole,a Whig MP, this burlesquetale was a warning againstroyalist reaction and intervention in the debate about property inheritance,a conflict between the

46 aristocraticand bourgeoisideals of the day" The greatestthreat to freedom,Walpole maintained,is the control of propertyover people.Confronting conservatism with 'the great resourcesof fancy' the novel was formative for the whole genre of 'modem romance,or 'terrorist fiction; whoseaim it was to generateanxiety as a transgressive strategy.Walpole's giganticism isn't hyperbole:the overwhelmingforce of the threat he allegorisedwas real and present'4The monstrouscasque is in proportion. From this Gothic viewpoint,HEROIN KILLS is a dark play on power,where the giant letterstake on the rolesof lonely lords of a desolateprospect They are mummersenact- ing a masqueradewhere face,dress, voice, everything is feigned.The beholdergets lost in the symbolic,a dwarfed extra lost in a forest of signs,lost betweencognition and emotion.In the Gothic drama,as in Bronzino,the props becomeprotagonists in their own right distinctfrom characterplot and dialogue.The Gothicis, afterall, an underdog tacticthat opposescontrol by exaggeratingit No doubt HK'sallegorical spiral canbe extended.Our reflectionon the negativein art connectsartists in and acrosshistory throughdefamiliarisation and throughantagonism to authority and comfortablenotions of progress;a fissured'genealogy' spreading by frustrationand showing radicalism in the faceof constraint As we have seen,HK allegorisesboth artistic and non-artisticrelations that rest on dynamicdistinctions. What is being allegorisedis the fact that ideasare in conflict,but, more than that, the abstractbattles with the actual, the latter attacking and perhaps threateningto destroythe allegoricalmode. [an Hamilton Finlay seessuch a scenarioas the dissolutionof what he callsdramatic allegory:

Onecannot describe as merelyallegorical an eventin which the presenceof the actual[is] more obviousthan the presenceof the idea.`

Is this a dramathat hasalready been prefigured by HK itself,or couldthis surplusof the actual becomeallegory's breakdown? To give this questiona further twist, what comesafter the allegoryas a post-modernseizure evoked by deconstruction'sscrutiny? Traditionally,an allegoryis the illustration of an idea or a parable.In deconstructive theory,allegory is constitutedin the text's meeting with a remainderof signification unaccountedfor, which then is shown to spin the reading of the text For the latter, allegory has lost its didactic content,but in both casesthe allegory consolidatespre-

47 establishedconcepts or strategies.The contentof traditional allegorywas guaranteed by religion or metaphysics;the deconstructiveallegory is inevitablyexercised by, in and for the actof reading.It is differentwith HK. Evenits formal instability is not somethingyou can count on. As much as it performs several allegorical functions- configuring conflictingsubject positions, the artistic and the socialbeing implicated yet dissociated- HK is the eventof its allegory'sdissolution in history.It opensup a temporaldimension where non-artisticevents disrupt the project'smastery over its own constituentparts. Moreover,allegory traditionally works by personification:a blindfoldedfigure holding a setof scalesstands for justice,a lion for courage.The darknessaround HK is exactlyits impersonality, fact its figural implosion- the that there is nothing to representthe victimswho arelost.

LARSBANG LARSEN

48 NOTES

1 Thanksto PavelBüchler for the useof the title MediocrityKills 2 Paul deMan: TheResistance to TheoryMinnesota Press, Minneapolis 1997, p. to. 3 Ibid. A 12. 4 De Man writes: Technically correct rhetorical readings may be boring, monotonous,predictable and unpleasant,but they are irrefutable. They are also totalizing (and potentially totalitarian) for since the structuresand functionsthey exposedo not lead to the knowledgeof an entity (suchas language)but are an unreliable processof knowledge production that prevents all entities, including linguistic entities, from coming into discourseas such, they are indeed universals,consistently defectivemodels of language's Impossibility to be a model language:(p. ig). I would argue that HK leavesbehind the negativelytotalising ambition of deconstructionand locatesdoubt and unreliability historically,not just linguistically.This would knowledge mean,then, that HK also can lead to the - if only applicableand provisory- of an entity, in this caseheroin. 5 William Burroughs:The Wild Boys:A book of the dead,Grove Press, New York 1992. 6 RobertSmithson: The Collected Writings, ed. Jack Flam, University of CaliforniaPress, London 1996, p. 147. 7 Ibid. P.353" 8 TheThird Way.The Renewal o/Social Democracy,Polity Press,London 1998, p. 66. 9 According Maurizio Lazzarato, labour things:'... hand the to the conceptof immaterial refersto two on one ... modificationsof working-classtabour in the big industrialconcerns and big organisationsin the tertiary sector where the jobs of immediate tabour are Increasinglysubordinated to the treatmentof information.On the hand labour,In other words to other ... a seriesof activitieswhich, normally speaking,are not codifiedas all the activitieswhich tend to defineand fix cultural and artistic norms,fashions, tastes, consumer standards and, more strategically,public opinion' UmherschweifendeProduzenten, ed. Antonio Negri, Maurizio Lazzarato, PaoloVirno, ID Verlag,Berlin 1998,pp. 39-40. 10 Richard Davenport-Hines:The Pursuit of Oblivion, p. 335. It should be mentionedthat Glasgowin recent decadeshas developed more progressive attitudes to its userpopulation (see for examplep. 379). 11 AlexanderTrocchi: Cain's Book, Calder, London 1gg8, pp. ro-n. 12 J Ruskin:Modern Painters, IL Part ül, NewEdition, London 1873. PP- 54-55- 13 Arnold Hauser:The Social History o/Art, vol. ll, London1951, P. 9L 14 Hausernotes the sameambivalence In the dawningIndividualism of the post-renaissanceartists: In them we encounterfor the first time the modem artist with his inward strife, his zest for life and his escapism,his traditionalism and his rebelliousness,his exhibitionisticsubjectivism and the reservewith which he tries to

49 hold back the ultimate secret of his personality. From now on the number of cranks, eccentricsand

psychopathsamong artists increases from day to day.' [bid, p. u6.Trocchi is alsocaught between life and art: For a long time now I havefelt that writing which is not ostensiblyself-conscious is in a vital way inauthentic for be dated.... I know our time. For our time -I think every statementshould of no young man who is not either an ignoramusor a fool who can take the old objectiveforms for granted.Is there no characterin the book writ largeenough to doubt the validity of the book itself7, p. 59. 15 Ibid, p"93.

16 John Boardmanwrites about a group of painters during the Athenian vase monopoly (ca. 540-520 ec), amongstthem 'The Alfecter and suggeststhat every epochhas its mannerists:"The Affected'is a stylist like no other and the content of his figure scenesbothers him little. Passive,mechanically rendered old men gesticulatewithout meaningwhile men greetyouths or Hermesjumps aboutbefore the crouchedZeus. It is a world of make believe,and if the Athenian tradition had not prescribedthat picturesbe appliedto vases,'The Affecter"might havemade a distinguishedand primal exponentof an archaicart nouveau:Quoted in Torsten Abos Welmarck:Konst och varu/orm.Kaleidoskop F6rlag 1g79.p. 46. (Author'stranslation). 17Trocchi, p. 33. 18 I haveused 'gothic' to referto the historicalmedieval period, 'Gothic with a capitalrefers to the aesthetic movement. 19 RobertSmithson: The Collected Writings, ed. Jack Flam, University of CaliforniaPress. London 1996, p. 350.

20 BorisGroys: Trotzkr oderMetamorphosen des Engagements. in Logik der SammlungAm Endedes musealen Zeitalters,Carl HanserVerlag, Vienna 1997,p. no. 21 RichardDavenport"Hines: Pour Hundred YearsoJExces., Horror. Evil and Ruin, North Point Press.New York. 2000,p. a. In this study the author traces the Gothic aestheticmovement mainly In terms of its British reception.Perhaps, he evensuggests, it is a predominantlyAnglo-Saxon phenomenon? 22 In the words of the author CharlesRobert Maturin (178o-5824),ibid, p. Mg. This is perhapswhat led Sarah Lowndesto write that'Simplistic in its approachthough this exhibition is, it would be hard to enumeratethe ways in which it offends.' (The List, 4-17 Jan 2002.Issue 435).However, given its open ambivalences,that probablygives the project too much credit If it on the other hand is the ambivalencethat is offensivethen surelythat mustbe an argumentagainst simplicity? 23 HoraceWalpole: The Castle of OtrantoA Gothic Story.ed. WS Lewis,Oxford UniversityPress, 1996, p. r'9. 24 Ibid, p.xxxt 25 Ibid, p.xiil Finlay, 26 Justified Sinners.An archaeologyof Scottish counteculture : 96o-zooai ed. RossBirrell and Alec Pocketbooks,Edinburgh soot. No pagereference.

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t I work in residentialand the remit is offending onto me and I didn't like the way that shewas andoffending behaviour- with that comes putting themonto me.My ilia waswrath, you do addictionwhich is causingpeople to offend. what you'retold and that wasthat. There was all Theremit of the projectis that whenthey come sortsof crazystuff filling my headat the time, In it's independentliving andchange, you try that shedidn't love me,all that kind of carry on, andempower the clientsto changewhat they and I soughtthat elsewhere. needto changein their lives.If Its addictionIt's I progressedright throughthe cardswith trying to empowerthem to put stuff Into practice recreationaldrugs, then movedon to harder andhelp them. Its a sixteenweek residential drugs,opiates. What that doesto you, is take project.If everythingthere goes okay they then awayhow you feel I neverfelt nothing.I lost all moveon to a flat.With it beingresidential, I live my family.I endedup derelict,sleeping In the with themas well. I seethem quite a lot. it's a streetand spenta long time In and out of jail and key It, worker system- we arrangetwo meetings endedup totally burnt out with that whole how a weekand work on whateverprogrammes lifestyle... housingschemes, to get it, who's for they'vechosen to work on,such as alcohol got the best,how to get the money it. You end here, awareness,drug awareness, anger management, up burnt out with It 1came I cameto drugs,I had victim awarenessand assertiveness.For each Family Support.When I took the I Individualto look at why they'reusing drugs. no socialskills whatsoever.couldn t talk to the way they'reusing drugs and whether they anybody,you know ordinarysmall talk, every- do 1 here canuse drugs in any kind of successfulway. And day small talk, l couldn't that came and basically.They if the answer'sno, if they'rehonest enough with thesepeople hauled me up they themselves,and they look at their pastexperi- acceptedme, they didn't judgeme, and got brought enceand theysay no, then we canlook at ways me involved And that my self-esteem of trying to changethat and trying to develop and my self-worthback. into differentskills, like buying food,budgeting The stuff that rd programmed myself do money,and trying to Integratewith society. for twenty yearswas that you unto others I knew,I knew The houseI got broughtup in, the morals beforethey do , to you,and way I feel and valuesthat my Ma tried to give me,were back then that it waswrong. would guilty 1 feel I would be remorse- goodmorals and values- that'sthe onesI try to and would ashamed, to from that live by today.But backthen I didn't realisewhat ful, it wasjust a circletrying escape hereI knew somewhere shewas doing. The expectationsthat sheput stuft Sowhen I came knew that the life I wanted onto me werethat I'd be like my older brothers deepinside me. I was I hadto the way I and sisters,that rd go to school.that rd get a to by andto live and change I go aboutwith goodeducation and get a goodcareer. But I lived my life, the people would I about wantedto be like the peoplehanging about the and the placesthat went andbecause of my housingscheme, doing all the stuff that you I would commit a crime I go to court and shouldn'tbe doing.That wasthe examplesthat I previousconvictions would if they'dhave really followed.Basically what I thought was,I couldn't then get sentto prison issuethat wascausing me to matchthe expectationsthat my Ma was putting lookedat the core

65 do what I was doing:when I was sentto prison aboutwhat was goingon with me.Take them I wasjust took out of societybasically. I paid a back,give them a bit of identificationabout the pricefor what I did, but nevergot any treatment jack-the-ladstuff: and how I'd rubbish stuff, and I cameback out with goodintentions. I wantedto how I'd do stuff to try and be acceptedand try stop.I wantedto go back to my life, I wantedto andbe I'm the man,and then wherethat led me. be a father,but I wasn'tequipped, wasn't helped What I think is underneaththat is just fear, to achievethat. Sowhen I cameback out I went it's a defence.Then trying to get acrossthe mes- right backinto the samecircles, talked the same sagethat it's okay to talk aboutyour emotions. talk, and donewhat I alwaysdone, hence ended That it's okay to be a bit scaredand it takesa lot up back in jail again. of courageto go and sit down with somebody I knew that I would needto go back and and say,l don'tlike what Pm doing,I don t like learnthe stuff that I didn t learn when I was a kid the peoplethat Im with, and I'm a bit scared,and -I got flung out of schoolwhen I wastwelve. trying to give help to help them get out of that It Therewas a teacherwho camein hereand wasn'tcool to talk aboutyour emotionsgrowing taughtus the basicstuff. I wastaking babysteps. up in a housingscheme, you couldn't I then did differentcourses, counselling courses, If you showedany weaknessat all, you were drug awarenesscourses. I startedgoing out and pouncedon, you wereused and abused,so it doingdifferent talks, talks to schools,talks with definitelywasn't cool to do that but then there's the police. the damagethat comeswith that as well, and I've beento schoolsand I talk to parents it's trying to find somebodywho it's safeto do and childrenand just try to educatethem. What that with I lackedin my life, it wasn'tsafe for me to come It's awesomenow, totally different end I and speakabout -I tried this - and talk about of the stick.Its great,it's the way that always my experiencesof trying that, then to get a bit of wantedto live my life, but I was neverable to right informationand a bit of help.It wasn'tsafe do it, through Internal pressures,and external, for me to do that.When f was goinginto schools and my own emotionsand my own headstuff I wastrying to put the messageacross that it's and the stuff that wascoming at me from all not coolto do it, first and foremost,and this is sides.I couldnever, never do it whereIt might leadyou, but In that process,if at any time you want any help or you needany help, don'tbe too scaredto comeand talk. J Becausesaying to them,just sayno, that'spie in Addictionhas no boundaries,none whatsoever. the sky.I found that I would go into different The only reasonthe majority of our client group classes,and I could alwaysspot the jack-the-lads are in the lower socialand economicclasses is that I usedto be like myself.I would judge and becausethose that are in the higher onescan criticiseanybody that wastrying to give me afford to fund their habit without thieving.Bec- information,you know rubbish It right away, ausethat's how the majority of them get caught, I wouldspot that, and what I wouldbasically do. becausethey haveto start thieving.Drug related I wouldtake myself back to thatage, and talk crime is ninety percentacquisition, its stuff that

66 they cansell so they canfund their habit I think they weren'tan alcoholicor a junkie, they were that a lot of the socialand economicissues do a humanbeing, who had dreamsand who had effect,but you can'tsay that's the only reason, ambitions,that for a variety of reasonsthey'd becausethose who are, who come from Bearsden neverbeen able to fulfil becausesomething or wherever,Milngavie, they're not usingdrugs generallyhad happenedthat got in the way and becausethey've no money,or becausethey've no stoppedthem reachingtheir potential.Maybe Job, becausethey've house, bit but Most or not got a stable so that soundsa patronising, ... of my they're running awayfrom that,you know.But experiencehas been residential, this is my first that doesnt meanto saythere's not other issues. experienceof a communityproject and it is diff- The onesthat would jump to mind arethe young erent,no doubtabout it. peoplewho the expectation put on them by I thinkits muchharder In thecommunity, parentsis to achieve,and they can'tcope with on the basisthat you'reasking people to live in That's house that. a classicin your higher classcircle - the same or the sameclose, which could I know we're supposedto live In a classlesssoci- be next door to the samedealer that they'vebeen ety.Another one couldbe again,young people dealingwith, or users,other userson the dose. who'vebeen sent to boardingschool, there's not And other usersknow wherethey live and they door. beenthe samebonding with parentsand again will continueto go to the And the amazing it's like an escape.They get In with a community thing aboutsubstance misuse - seeonce some- friends who they feel more acceptedby, but in order to bodytries to stop,then all their are up know do that they'vegot to participatein this offering them termerbags, you here's particular action. a bag for nothing.Whereas when they'reusing I got into this work through default I'd just nobodywould everdo that to them,and that's because finished a diploma In advancednursing and I got quite difficult for them, you'reasking a summer job in a residentialrehab unit for drug them to try and abstain,and when all aroundifs and alcohol abusein Argyll It washt that I had still trying to forcethe substanceonto them. difficult, this long burning desireto work with substance Soin that respect,it's muchmore they hour In misusers- and I was asgreen as the grass!They don't havetwenty-four support. residen- hours probably took me for a ride big time thosethree tial thereis alwaysa staff member24 a basis. months that I wasthere. But that openedmy day,you don't havethat in a community eyesbecause I was probablyquite prejudiced In this projectthe averageservice user or client hours evenup to that point You know,alcoholics were is only heremaybe 20 a week,which is not how hours the peopleyou saw in GeorgeSquare, and a lot.when you think many there are junkies, I meanI wouldn't call them junkies now, in the week.So in that respectwere askingthem But but then that's what I would havecalled them. to survivea bit betteron their own. in saying for Junkies,well they were just a wasteof spaceand that there is a place residential,there's no you know, they wereIn placeslike run down doubt,some people need the cottonwool, the from It. housesIn Easterhouseand all the rest of It That's completeIsolation away they can'tcope, isolation kill how nave I was at that stage,and I think those but for othersthe would them, for if they've three months openedmy eyes,and I realised particularly women got children.

67 That's big have a issue,at leastin the community to go through,people underestimate - servicethey can still hold on to them. it's the psychologicalwithdrawal, It's not the Morecould alwaysbe done.Name me a physical.Physical withdrawal, it's out of your country,name me a local authority,name me systemwithin a matterof days,weeks, whatever, an organisationthat's got it onehundred per- It's the psychologicaladdiction that projectslike centright. I don't know if we everwill. I mean this dealmore with. Trying to get peopleto dev- I don'tbelieve that we'll everattain perfection, elop strategieswhere if you get into an arguent, but we haveto be openenough to keepadapting you don'tjust without eventhinking aboutit go servicesto suit the needs,so that'swhat it should and take a drug.The definition of rehabilitation be about.There are numerousservices that are is to changeone's attitudes and behaviours. It's availablein Glasgow,but yet it's amazingthe not easyto do. amountof peoplethat are still not in a service. I would saythe majority of the general And particularlywhen you look at your metha- public,and this is just an opinion,I don't have donepopulation. The percentageof methadone any facts,but my experienceis they haveno idea usersin Glasgowwho don't haveany connection what it's like to be a drug user.They have no idea at all with any serviceis staggering,but they're what thesepeople go throughon a daily basis. beginning to addressthat now.Some of these They'veno ideahow the cycleperpetuates itself. peopledon't have an addictionworker, or a They'veno ideawhatsoever. They havethis kind socialworker. They just go week in, week out, of naivenotion that they shouldjust be ableto pickup their prescriptionand that'sit. Thereare sayI'll not take drugsanymore. It's not assimple peoplewho prescribemethadone who are of the asthat You'renot just dealingwith a physical opinionthat you canbe on methadonefor life, addiction,you're dealing with a psychological because if that meansthat personcan function addiction.The best way that I sometimestry to for the restof their life, that'sfine, it's not any get acrossto peopleis, I'll ask them,what is the different to being on heart medicationor what- mostfavourite thing you love to do,what is it? ever.And then there'sthe schoolwhich believes, For argumentssake let's just saythey said,oh, well wait a minute,it Is an addictivesubstance, I play footballfive nightsa week,and I sayto peoplecan be free from it if they get the right them well, I want to tell you that as of now, help, so why,why let them be labelledlike this you'renot allowedto ever,ever play football for the restof their life when they couldbe free again.Not at all. You can'tgo neara football if theychoose. ground,you can'twatch football on the tele- My cynicalside, what I think aboutthat vision,you can'tread about football. I want you wholething is,Its much easierhaving somebody to totally disassociateyourself, for the restof comingin collectingtheir scriptwho's not going your life. You want to talk aboutfootball, you to causeany problems.They don't have to be can'tdo that Your friendsthat arefootball fans, referredto the socialwork departments,or all that areall footballfans and all the restof it, and the restof it, and becausethey've got a job and I say,you imagine,could you do that?Well that's their life'sticking on, that'seasy. Now if we have what it's like for somebodythat's trying to give to start detoxingthis person,they're going to up drugs.It's exactlythe same.It's not aseasy

68 aspeople think it is. Its so lied up with their peoplewho've got an alcoholproblem, but it whole life structure. probablywouldn't be asvast as the issueis now, I wasat a seminarabout understanding on the basisthat its not illicit. Peoplehaving to addictivebehaviour. They gave out this statistic be so underhandabout it all. But rm not - please and it wassomething like, they'ddone a survey don't think for a minute rm sayingwe should on fourteento sixteenyear olds, and it wassome- legaliseheroin. I'm certainlynot at that stage, thing like 50 or 6o percenthad tried hash,but of becauseI've seenthe destructionit can do. that 6o percentonly threepercent went on to havea drug problem.I just think it's a scare- mongeringtactic that's been used over the years. I is You start smokingcannabis -I know people think there actuallysome research which that smokedcannabis for 30 yearsand never showsthat thereis a geneticpredisposition in touchedanything else. Again Its not just about somepeople towards addiction. I'm not saying the drug,you've got to look at the person,where herethat addictionis hereditaryand that if you are they at in their life, what arethe issues.Nine havea particulargene you will be an addict,but times out of ten that'swhat's more responsible I think thereare fairly well establishedgrounds for them movingon Into higher gradesof to believethat thereis somesort of genetic substanceabuse. predisposition.However, I believethat you can I'm not into the Daily Recordscampaign. I havethat geneticpredisposition and not become can understandthe sentimentin It, yeahif I can a drug addict,or alcoholic,or addictedto ciga- kind get hold of a few drug dealersI know what rd rettesor whatever.I think that it's a of I like to do with them,but the bottom line is they nature/nurtureargument again. think maybe shouldn'tbe targetingthe generalpublic on the someIndividuals are addicts waiting to happen, have biological street,they shouldbe targetingthose bringing becausethey might somesort of like, the drugsinto the country.That's the level they predispositionif you then maybethe circ- shouldbe targetingat, you know.Forget your umstancesof their upbringingare suchthat their becomes weestreet pusher, who's only pushing,you know, psychologicalmake up alsothen a becausehe's got a habit Im talking about,let's contributoryfactor, and then perhapsspecific get the guyswho arebringing the stuff in, the life eventscome together. millions that they'resending, you know let'scut Addictionis a morecomplex thing than deprivation off the supplies,which then bringsyou into simply issuesof social or povertyor have anotherrealm. It begsthe question,you know lack of education,and we currently a state are drugscoming into this countryand people of affairswhere a lot of peoplewho are socially know they'recoming in, becauseit's politically or economicallyor educationallydeprived fall but I don't expedient into addiction- think that that'sthe Wecould actuallyproduce heroin for only causeand I don't believethat only if those penniesand if the governmentso wantedwe factorsare in placethat peoplewill suffer from could tax it You'll still havea problem,you still addiction.I think addictionis an illness.It can havepeople with a problemwith it, like you do happento anybodyat anytimeright acrossthe

69 socialspectrum, irrespective of what you haveor just so happenedthat I think all sortsof things, what you dont have.You only haveto look you know a lot of the othersets of circumstances around.Lots of peoplewith money,particularly and factorswere in placefor me.I wasstarting to celebritiesinvolved in the musicbusiness, do somethingthat wasactually really going to movieswhatever, in and out of rehaball the dominatemy life, and in fact dominatedmy life time.They end up with addictionproblems prec- a long time beforeI waseven aware that it was iselybecause they havemoney, rather than they doing that.Because I meanI wasaware of addic- don'thave it tion andwent to considerablelengths to try and Peoplemake big distinctionsbetween not be like that, to try and avoidbeing labelled alcoholand drugs, and at the momentyou know, an addict,but in actualfact drugswere the fore- the big thing Is drugsand the causeof addiction. most obsessionin my life for me.They had been If it wasn'tdrugs it would be alcohol.If it wasn't from my middle teens. drugsand alcohol people would find other ways I enjoyedtaking drugs.I thought that I was of relievingthe stresses,if you like, of being poor beingvery grown-upand sophisticatedby doing or economicallydeprived or whatever.The two it Initially I smokedhash and I liked that and thingsaren't necessarily a direct result,one of the that mademe want to experimentwith other other.What actually happens, I think, with drugs.Nothing I heardfrom any authoritative peoplewho arepoor and on the margins,is that sourceif you like, you know that taking drugs theybecome criminalised through their addic- was illegal,was wrong, was bad for me,had any tion. I managedto makemy way through my kind of impacton me at all. In fairly quick addiction,financing it and stayingout of trouble successionI'd smokedhash, I'd got into taking with the law.I waslucky I didn't get caughtbuy- speed,downers. I endedup taking opiates,I used ing illegal streetdrugs, which I did over many acid;all thosethings because I wantedto, years;but I didn't get caughtand so I could avoid becauseI enjoyedthe way they mademe feel that wholekind of thing of havingto be drawn and It wasreally very easyand straightforward. into the criminal justicesystem which happens I supposeI wasn'tparticularly happy as a teen- with somany people. That's as a result f think of ager.I wasvery rebelliousand I wasbreaking their povertyand exclusion,rather than their ad- out and breakingaway from my parents,the diction. I managedquite successfullyto maintain societythat I lived in, all of that kind of thing. my addiction. And at the time in the late sixtiesand early Thecircumstances in my life asa young seventiesthere was a counterculturewhere person;I discovereddrugs really early on. I usingdrugs was part of that counterculture, discovered them in a kind of contextwhere they and I Justfell right into that, into the whole ethos wereacceptable to use,they were cool.I was of it. Also,I enjoyedthe drugs.For me,I actually introducedby a slightly olderyoung adult who enjoyvery muchbeing able to controlhow I feel I really respectedand lookedup to, you know all andwhen I useddrugs I couldcontrol how I felt, that sort of stuff:I'm not sayingfor a minute that until in my addictionIt all got out of control In theywere trying to do me any harm.So I found the end I couldn'tcontrol it any longer.I couldnt drugs asa way,initially, of copingwith life, and it usedrugs successfully, but aslong asI could I

70 was quite happy,and I wasalways looking for I would still be in that sort of that spacewhere I waysto try and controlmy using so that I could wasreally emotionallyabsent from the world, continueto usesuccessfully. I substituted the and everythinghappened Inside of me.And drugsrd taken beforewith alcoholand cocaine, through becominginvolved in Narcotics but f wastotally out of controlby that stage. Anonymous,that's the thing that has startedto Whatchanged was that I reallybecame change,and it's what enablesme todaynot to go awareof the fact that I wasdying. Though I was back and usea drug when I feel a certainway. actuallyreally physicallyunwell by the time It's an understandingof the importanceof being I realisedI realisednot only wasI physically connectedwith other people.If I can look outside unwell but that I wasmentally gone, and I was of myself,if I canmake connections outside of spiritually,if not dead,then absolutelydying. myself,if I canstop actually obsessing about head I rememberhaving an experiencewhere I could myself,living insidemy own and my own beginning really seemy life slipping awayfrom me.At that thoughts,then that'sthe of the process point I realisedthat I had a problem,and from of comingback into the world again.Yeah, in for be that point it took me four yearsto actuallygo that senseits really important me to have to NarcoticsAnonymous, which for me wasthe aroundother peoplewho experiencedthe supportgroup which enabledme to stopusing samesorts of isolationand to sharethat with how Tm drugsand to staystopped using drugs. I had people,and to talk to peopleabout how I'm feeling.Pd developed quite a strugglewith it, althoughI did go to seek thinking and no life for help,there was a periodof time when I was mechanismsin my actuallyexpressing through unableto stopeven with support,or goinglook- how Katefelt, ever,about anything, and help NA,I've ing for support.It took, for me,finding a twelve beinginvolved in self support, It's to do that stepprogramme In NA. actuallydiscovered that possible doing it That I'd lived entirelyinside my own head. and I've startedto actuallypractice free; NA, I ceasedto communicatewith anyoneor to have is how I staydrugs through goingto here, any kind of connectednesswith other peopleat alsothrough coming which was an ext- back all, and through becomingInvolved with ensionof that in a way, putting something NarcoticsAnonymous that's changed completely, in, you know spendingtime with people,telling how I feel, becauseI've cometo understandthat the healing peopleabout who I am, what'sgoing drugs for Connecting. for me,the solutionis -I mean,I canput on me. I think heroin kills, down,I acceptI can'tuse them successfullyand Do you know what and it kills I In a senseI knew that all my life, but it didn't all drugsreally, I think your soul. think kills. And f think that's hap- actuallyever stop me usingthem. I would keep that'swhat it what's turned is going backto usingthem, so I canstop using peningfor me,what's around under- drugs,but what I couldnt do wasstop that proc- standingthat, understanding that there'ssome life that be essof living within myself,living in isolation, sort of sparkof insideme can sort of living in completeemotional isolation. In the end re-Ignited,and its that - whateverthat is - that Connects the only relationshipI had waswith drugs.So, connectsus all. us asartists, connects beings, drug evenif I waspt using,or I wastrying to useless, us ashuman connectsus as users.

71 I think drugsare damaging in the effectthat they shewas young. When she had birthday parties canhave on certaintypes of people,the kind of and that shealways asked the onesthat didn't spiritual effect I meanthat rather than the phys- get invited to the parties.She's like, aw they ical or emotionalimpact, but what happensat a neverget invited,because maybe they're a wee deeperlevel. bit chubby,or they didn't havethe right trainers, which happens,but shealways made sure they were the first on the list to get invited.So for somestupid reason she tried it, this went on, Shewas on heroin for 18months. She was rg on and off for about18 months. And thesepeople first, whenshe started and she was 21when shedied. that shehelped at chasedher out of It wasthrough unemployment. She was in two Rutherglen,because I think sheknew too much. different first lastedtwo And that's happened, found or three jobs.Her job ... well what we out years.Paid her off becauseit wastoo high wages, Within a periodof maybegoing on for two they wantedanother junior in. Shestarted in Go- or three monthsher attitudechanged. She was Karts,which sheloved. She was the receptionist gettingcheeky, and Katrinaloved her hair, she had blonde had there,plus shewas welcoming folk In at night - nice hair,and she really thick the partiesand whoeverwon the raceshe was hair aswell andshe always took careof it. It was gettingthe champagne.She was really bubbly just gettingtied back.I meanshe always still got Katrina,so she really liked that What happened up and showeredand that,but her hair wasjust wasthey started cutting all her hours,but they getting tied back,where she used to go mad with wantedher in everyday, some days she was only her hairdryergoing all the time.There were just in two hours.She went backto the job centreand weechanges like that,not comingin for her tea, saidthis is not working out. Now,if you give then when shewas coming in - shealways used your job up,you dont get any moneyand that to comeinto say goodnightto you,but then it wasthe reasonshe went to seethem. She said wasjust that'smein. Shewasn't actually coming well I'm payingbus faresevery day, I'm going in Into the room,and shewas goingout in the mor- everyday, Pm going in on a Saturdayand a ning andI'm going,where is shegoing? And it Sunday.They agreed, pack it in, it's not worth It. waswhen her Dad wasworking, it wasa Friday And then her friend got her a job In Capital.They afternoon,and shesaid, I've got somethingto tell went into liquidation,that washer out again. you Mum. And if you'renot awareof drugs Shegot in with friends,well peopleshe you'venot a clueand I thoughtshe was going to knew,that wereactually on heroin,and shetook tell me shewas using hash, and shesaid. Mum pity on them at first, especiallyas one of them you start taking theseshots of it, and I think this hada weegirl, and sheused to ask me for food wasthe start,the stagewhere she was startingto andbring the weegirl up to feedher. This went feel shewas needing it. Shehad to go out in the on for months,and her Dad and I we usedto say, morning andgo and get her fix We got her to the Katrina but like Mum they doctors Our doctor but ... she's that, need right away. wasn'ton, help,they can'thelp it, It's not their fault. Shewas somebodyelse spoke to her,and they gaveher like that all throughher life, l meaneven when painkillers to try and gether overthe worst of It,

72 becausethey said the amount of timesshe's used mixingabout with dealers and that from the andhow much she was using, she still hadn't town,which was a big leapcompared to the reallydone herself any harm, and she could get peopleshe knew, and sheended up stayingin a herselfsorted out Shegot sorted out for a wee hostel.It washorrendous. It wastoo much for my while,and then Pd her to Mum aswell, becausef think shewas starting to see start get... the phonewould be goingand it would be them take moneyfrom my Mum's.I think what hap- No,you can'talways blame them, because penedwas, that whenshe used she didn't like to Katrina still took it Shestill took It be at homebecause she didn't like us to seeher I meanI feelsorry for herold friends. like that.You know shewould alwaysbe away. Her bestfriend's taken it really hard,because And then this went on for a weewhile, and she I think quite a lot of times Katrinaused to ask got herselfsorted out abouteight weeksbefore her to go out and shewouldn't go becauseshe shedied, and she phoned me up askingme if had a boyfriend.Rachel was a weebit older than I got a letter askingme to meetheti saying,I'll Katrina again,so shewas at the ageto start get- understandif you don't want to meetme. But ting a steadyboyfriend. Katrina was still at the there'sno way I would neverhave met her. agethat shewould meetsomebody, but shewas Shemet me,she took me for a meal,and alwaysworried aboutwhat her pals weredoing. you seewhen shewas on lt shealways had to You know shewould arrangeto meetthem up run awayand I couldnever understand that, the dancing,I'll go with my pals,you know.And but I wasthat stupid I thoughtshe was running then been It I from BecauseKatrina I, ... she'd off a weewhile, and as say away me. and we were shewent back on It. Shetold me sheowed deadclose, we'd go shopping,she'd come with peoplemoney, and thesepeople that shewas me into the town,and shewas about five foot ten helping to feedand that,and they werestarting Katrina,and shealways just held my hand, to phoneup and kind of threatenher, so her Dad becauseshe said if I took her arm I wastoo low paid them off. I still don't know to this day if it down!So we werereally really close.And then was moneylenders or the dealerswho wasowed this washappening and shewas running away, the four hundredpounds. I really don't know. and Im going like that,what's happened, what's She told us it wasa moneylender, but it could changed,but shemust have been going for a fix havebeen a dealer,but I don't know if a dealer The last day shewas with me the whole day,she would give you all that heroin.But her Dad got told me she'dmet an American,and he wasa that sortedout and shewent up to staywith her pilot and Pmwho's he kidding?I thought maybe kidding Granny and shegot anotherjob, in a shoeshop. he wasa stewardand he was her on. Shegot herselfsorted out, startedwork again. That'swhat really I thoughtright And she's What happenedin there,they wanteda girl to going,oh he'sdead nice to me Mum. During all be take over asmanageress, but shedidn't want the this time,she always used to quite polite her responsibility,so they'dto bring somebodyelse Katrina,I startedeven seeing changethe way for from anothershop, so what happensis that shewas speaking. I was, God'ssake Katrina And Katrina was last in again.And that'sbecause she what'shappening to you? shewas saying, for him was afraid to comeinto Rutherglenshe started it's goodbecause I've got to speakright

73 to understandwhat I'm saying.She said he takes you bring Katrina.The dayof her funeral he flew me to niceplaces, and shewas telling me the from Chicagoto cometo her funeral and he said first night he took her out shehad five pounds, he would nevercome to Glasgowagain. I got a and afterhe boughtthe meal shewas going to nice letter.We don'twrite to oneanother now. say,well I'll pay for my sharebut hoping he At the beginningwe got a nice Christmascard wasgoing to saydon't be silly.He paid for the from him sayingthat he rememberedKatrina. meal andgets her a weerose and that and It But he didn't evenknow sheused drugs. wasreally nice. There'smore peopleunderstanding now I did seea changein her and I'm saying, becauseof what'shappened in TheDailyRecord well she'snot running awayand she'sbought Becausepeople are starting to write stories. me theseflowers and she'spaid for the meal. They'restarting to say,well this is my son and Shebought herself a dress,because he wasonly this Is what he waslike. He wasjust an ordinary here maybeabout once a fortnight He'dcome person.And you'restarting to see- putting a face out from Chicago.It was the nice weatherand to thosewho're dead. I think peopleare standing she'dbought herself a weedress from Benetton, up.Well before,I must admit, I didn't tell anyone a weesummer dress, and I helpedher towards Katrinawas using drugs because I kept thinking a pair of sandals.So she was fine. So next thing, shewas going to get better.I really thought,well threeweeks later, she was dead. Died in a close what'sthe point of peopleknowing, she's got this in Haghill.And that day shedied, the phone to live with without everybodyknowing. It's the went,well obviouslythe phone'sgoing to be stigmaof knowing your daughteror your son's goingall day,but it wasthe American He says on drugs.But peopleare now standingup and this is Scott,could you go and tell Katrina I'm saying,well It's a problemthey've got They're here.So rm like, I to to him, they're just junkies. what am going say still ... not soI had to sayKatrina's dead. And he'slike that, I don'tknow what to sayto you, I really don't know what to sayto you. Hejust said he was sorryand he put the phonedown. I regrettednot I heardabout this through other guysthat I met. sayinganything, I'd havesaid I'd haveliked to Theywere saying that this was a day progr- have met him. Sothe next day the phonegoes ammesort of thing. I was interestedin it, bec- again,and Lindsey'slike, Christine,it's Scott, auseI've donerehabs, I've beenin Phoenixup it's Scottwho's on the phone.So I took the phone the road,the residential.I've donethat twice. If and I saidto him that I would like to meethim. I'd known this was herebefore I'd beeninto Sohe cameup, and he didn't know shewas on rehabI'd havedone here first becauseit's a lot, drugs.So when he had to it's it's It's cameup we sit and more ... not structured. constantly we'dto tell him and he wasshocked. He said, structuredup In that residential,there's a lot of I introducedher to all the crew,and that'swhen structuresand things like that, whereasthis is I realisedhe wasthe pilot He said,oh and they more relaxed.You go and you'regoing back Into loved her,and they'darranged a night to go to the community.I think it's a lot better In my the Tattoo,and his crewsaid to him why don't personalview, it's a lot better than residential.

74 I think here,when I found out abouthere, I just community and that just makesyou a stronger went right to my drugsworker and says,I've personI think. It givesyou a- it givesme a good know heard aboutthe Phoenixday programme,any outlook,knowing what I want. I what chanceyou could give us a bit of input aboutit. I want and I know how Im going to go round He spoketo us and Cmlike, ayethat sounds aboutit and get it. really good. I startedoff smokinghash, well didn't start It's a nine month programme.It's like you off with it, startedoff with -I wasbuzzing glue, different but beforethat Da go into stages.Three months you're in gas,at nine yearold, ... my he batter phaseone, that's you learning aboutyour feel- was an alcoholicand usedto me,you defend ings,stress, doing a bit of computer,learning know,and becauseI usedto my Ma all how I to just it I big to work the keyboardand things like - the time, man, used get worse. got but you know how to get into certainthings. It's all brothersand wee brothers and sisters it just it about finding your feetbasically in phaseone. alwaysjust felt asif it were me that got all. I'm in phasetwo now,I just went in there,I went Pddefend my Ma anywayeven though I knew I'd in there last Thursday.So its a lot better now, just get a doing.It's the angerwhich was Da down you start to deal with things like anxietyand triggeredfrom that and my putting me stressand things like that. You learn how to put constantly.You're a weerat and all that sort of I had becauseI football, in copingstrategies in caseyou -I get bored thing. chances, played fell because deadeasy. My copingstrategy Is just go out, S-formand that,and I just away my walk, either go to swimming,do somethingthat Da pushedme and I just rebelledagainst it. buzzing keepsmy headgoing, and that'swhat it is in Then it just led to missingschool, glue, hash, phasetwo. Putting things into copingstrategies, gas,then it went to smoking then it went know, knowing all your triggers,boredom, stress, to drinking, then all my pals,you my pals I the everything.It could be anything,and it's just and that all doingit, and thoughtthis was doing it, putting it into place. hip thing you know,everybody all so flow know- I've got a better outlook on life now,so obviouslyyou go alongwith the not I have.I know what I want now.For yearsand Ing that you'vestepped onto somethingelse. I I yearsI alwaysjust thought I think It was With me,I chasedit, chasedsomething, chased ... betterbuzz. I just kept through pastexperience, through my Da putting that extrabuzz, that on I that me down all the time, and I alwaysthought, this chasingsomething. wanted ultimate exper- buzz just sleep- Is going to be me.Down and out, not interested ience,an ultimate and endedup You it, I've in anything. When I was in the rehabsand ing right througheverything. name That things like that, they gaveme a tasteof what I takenit, takenheroin. wasmy ultimate first I tried it, but then you're could have,going to collegeand stuff like that. buzzthe time ever that just doesn'thappen But it's becauseI waswrapped up in cotton chasingsomething know, that high the wool, when you leavesomething like that you're again.You you get ultimate take it but after that you're just opento all sorts.In here,it's like you'renot first time you right, it doesn'tcome, you neverget it no wrapped in cottonwool, you'regoing homeat chasingit and take or how much you take, the end of the day,you're still out in the matterwhat you

75 you'll neverget that first time effect.Strange, but road,I went there,! wasin therefor eight month that'show everybodyI think getsa lot addicted and I left with a lassie.And when I waswalking to it, becausethey're chasing that ultimate buzz. out the door,I startedgreeting, because I knew I didn't think I had a problem for a long I wasdoing this big blunder,the biggestmistake time,I thoughtI couldjust drop it, until one time. of my life doing this,but onceyou're out you I usedto sell,I soldeverything, drugs, I sold a lot can'tget backtn. I realisedthis and I just went of drugs,so I neverhad to do really anything to back down that road,because I was moregutted get my drugs,because it wasalways there for me, with myself.I punishedmyself basically and and moneywas there for me,and it was always that'swhat it was,because I had everything there,and then oneday it wasn'tthere, because going for me. I got Into heroin.People that I was doing things I went backto my drugsworker, I pushed for Justtook it awayfrom me.I earnedmy and pushedand pushed,saying f really do need money,whatever it wasI wasselling at the time this. I want It again.I went backinto rehab,and 1 and wasleft in the lurch.I neverfelt so much the lassiethat I left the rehabwith had come pain in all my life. I've neverbeen like that in all backin andshe was also with this other guy,and life my man,the heavycramps and stuff like it wasjust all bad.Instead of getting me flung out that,It was,It wasn'tnice, no. Wasn'tvery nice. for violence,or anythinglike that, I just went, I endedup doingthings that I regret,that 1had to I'll leaveand that way I'll get left on goodterms, do to stopthat pain.There's lot of thingsplaying that I couldget in somewhereelse. I shouldhave in head, your and it's not a niceplace to be In. just went to the staff and says,look any chance I lost my girlfriend,my threeweans and 1could getsent somewhere else, another rehab, that,lost everything,my house,the whole lot. or can I get my funding transferredto some- I handle couldn't It. I was living in the street. whereelse. But I didn't,I just went I needto get I In was the streetfor abouta yearand a half, out of here,and I just left I and endedup going,I can'tdo this anymoreand Then this must be aboutfour yearssince I I to the went crisiscentre in WestStreet. Went to was in the rehab,and now I just heardabout this. there, stayedIn therefor threeweeks, got my All the other times,man 1done it for everybody headtogether, but it was.I just wantedto feel a else,I did it for my girlfriend, my ex-partner, bit better,feel healthy. That'swhat it's there for, I wantedto seemy weans,I wantedmy Ma to be So a respite. I just wantedto feel alright again, proud of us,I wantedeverybody tobe proud of becauseI fed was up goingInto jail and things us,and I wasdoing it all for the wrong reasons. like that But I went Into the crisiscentre three I wasdoing it for all them,whereas I wasn't times, four no timesI was in the crisiscentre doing it for me.Now, it's taken me all this time beforeI actuallywent like that,I needto do to realiseit, and it's me I needto do it for. It's me, here. something And then I saidto myselfI need definitelyman. to long go term or something,you know rehabor Ex-usersgive me inspiration.I want to do a whateverit may be. I needto do something, lot of things.I want to experiencelife, like to I find needto out why I keepgoing backto drugs. travel,whatever, experience things man.I could I went to Phoenix the rehabilitationcentre up alsosee myself - I'm doing a mountain leader-

76 love ship course.l that 1go out hill walking identifyingthe trendsin the city and the service everyThursday, get away,wherever. You know needsIn the city.Really making the services I love love that,I canoeing,whatever. more appropriatefor the city they'reIn. The orienteering,you nameit. I loveall that I could funding in the pastfor drug serviceshas been seemyself getting into that,but I could alsosee very ad hoc and it's very much dependedon doing myself this,you know this sort of work. funding beingavailable in certainareas of the It's somethingthat I know,it's somethingthat city,whether urban aid or oneoff payments. I've done for fifteenyear so I would saythat rm Someareas of the city havebeen well servedand very experiencedat it You can'tget any more otherswere poorly served, small teamsin very experiencedthan somebodythat's been it them- denselypopulated problematic areas. What we selves.But I pushmyself away from that because havedone is we ve comedown from 13teams to I don't to just want - see comingstraight from nine - they'rebig teams- and equippedthem in being this, so manyyears clean, going into accordancewith the level of needin their areaof sessionsand things like that t don'twant that, the city,so that regardlessof wherepeople try to I wanta timegap, whether it betwo, three years accessa servicein the city they'regoing to get a whatever.I want a lifeoutside away from It, comparableservice. I don t want it just in my faceconstant Drug treatmenttesting orders we've piloted for the last two years.The pilot's almostfinished on that and were startingthe drug court pilots - R drug courtsfor persistentoffenders. So that's the Politically peopleare now willing and ableto first one in the UK,although there is onein make an investmentin addictionissues and see Ireland.Theres a lot of work goneInto that to the Impacton families,on children,on the crim- get it to that stage,and once we actuallyget it how inal justicesystem. There is a realisationthere into to court it'll bevery interestingto see that drug and alcoholis a sustainingfactor In it all works.Its very mucha treatment-based that and that needsto be treatedto addressthe option for people,which is obviouslygoing to other issuesand the biggersocial picture. There's be beneficial. deal more resourcescoming in, which can therefore Drug court is goingto very muchwith It doesn't tobe go and deliver much much better more complex drug relatedoffending. need drug servicesthen we'veable to do before. a drug charge,but offendingthat's related. huge in Weve alsohad a major review of our own There'sgoing to be a emphasis assess- to serviceslately. It's coveredvarious different ment that peopleare willing and susceptible kind, then there be levels and a lot of the work centredaround treatmentof some and will a consultationwith existingstaff and various continuation,where we assesspeople very beforethey back to stakeholdersand serviceusers, service users comprehensively go court togetherby the families,GPs, the whole gamut.In addition to with a full treatmentplan put If Sheriff that we havea researchofficer in the team and client and the treatmentproviders. the to then they he'sbeen collecting data over the last four or feelsthat that'sthe right way go, will be it drug treatment five years,bringing this togetherand actually havesome sort of order, a

77 forwardfor and testingorder, or enhancedprobation or the for womento come services.I think like, then it'll be a questionof working with that in our communityteams we ve set abouta 38 female 62 order.It getspeople Into treatmentwith some percent to percentmale client group. balance levelof accountabilityas well, becausewith drug Ideallywe'd needto redressthat and get but because treatmentand testingorders offenders are back more womenspecific services; difficulties,because in courtevery four weeksin front of the Sheriff they'vegot childcare of from because and theyhave to accountfor their progress,good the pressure partners,and some forwardbecause or bad.But what we havefound is that the con- womenare reluctant to come know feels drug gratulationsaround people who are doing well they society that using'snot for do, hasa phenomenaleffect to keeppeople really a goodthing womento it's very very difficult. trying hard and doingwell and moving forward. We'vebeen looking It's got to be aboutthe positivereinforcement of at the patternsof female how deal progress,as much as,you know things haven't offendingand courts with female different. gonetoo well sopull your socksup. offendersand againit's quite be There'sa lot of damagebeen done to people Womentend to sentencedmore regularly, overthe years.lt takesa long time to be able to alsothe crimesthat they tend to commit suchas be lower leavethat behind.But there aredifferent sorts soliciting,shoplifting tend to a tariff drift of servicesthat peoplecan tap in to, againsome- so they don'ttrigger socialwork. They thing that we'rejust aboutto look at is our pur- throughthe court systemand into CorntonVale chasedservices, both residentialand community andthen comeback out againwithout actually from based,and to try to get goodmodels of service triggeringanything such as a report request over the city so that peoplecan access them reg- court,social work Inquiry reports.So that's ardlessof wherethey are. somethingwere working on at the moment: Therehas to be differentoptions available trying to get servicestogether to try and support to peoplebecause people are individuals with thesewomen and givethem the opportunities differentexperiences and different backgrounds that other peoplenaturally have. has and differentneeds, so it needsto be a very A reviewof the methadoneprogramme diverserange of goodquality services.I think beencompleted, and that'sjust finishedconsult- that'sthe really importantthing; they havetobe ation andjust aboutto work towardsimple- of a high quality.Also somethingthat were mentation.Again, if peopleare usingmethadone be startingto look at more and more on a city wide properlyand It's well supervisedpeople can basis,although it hasbeen done on variouslittle on methadoneand nobodywould know.People piecesof local work, Is working with femaledrug canfunction very very well, there arepeople who low doses, five users;because the whole way womenwork are on extremely only two mils or day. breaking psychologicallyis entirely different to the way mils a It's just that with people, helping menwork. There's been a lot of researchdone to and it's about them get the confidence don't start and reachwomen, to try and find the best and the realisationthat they actuallyneed but have drugsfor way of working with femaledrug usersand it, whenpeople used 20,25 trying to help them.It's arguablymore difficult yearsit's very difficult It's abouttrying to give

78 people,help peopleidentify other thingsin their life, drug usecan be put in the backgroundand not be importantanymore. Equally people do functionvery very well on methadoneif it's properlyadhered to and properlydispensed. In many many areasof Glasgowand outwith, drug useis not unusualand therefore it doesnot hold the fearsfor youngpeople that it did maybeten yearsago, and it's not seenas beingso far out of society,so we definitelydo havean obligationthere. Part of it's beenabout the servicesbeing there and beingaccessible and tobe goingto parentsso theycan learn how to besttry and help their childrento avoidthe pitfalls of becominginvolved in drug andalcohol use.But againthat's something that our teams alongwith peoplethat comein for their help can hopefullywork togetheron, to try and get as much accurateinformation as possible. I think it's difficult to put figureson things, peopleare individual and addiction'sa complex thing to try and get out of. I think generally there'sa lot of peoplewho we havein our servi- ceswho arevery very stableand doingvery very well Up until recentlythere hasn't been the moveon servicesavailable for them,so hope- fully what we would like to seeis that people who arecurrently stable and doing very well are movingin throughthe servicesso they don't needus any more.Also we haveto achievea better level of stability for other people;really keepthat continuumgoing. That peopleare moving through,rather than cominginto service and stayingthere, that peopleare going through successfully. Published October 2003 in an edition of iooo by Tramway, 25 Albert Drive, Glasgow, G412PE IN ASSOCIATIONWITH TheModern Institute, Suite 6,73 RobertsonStreet, Glasgow, G2 8QD

Supportedby

Q Scottish f ml* Arts Council Institute of theAra

Thanksalso to the Universityof Leeds

ISBN 1 899 551 30 1

®2003 Tramway,The Moderninstitute, the artists,the writers

Pp.28-31 courtesy The Daily Record/Mirrorpix;p. 27 courtesyAas, NY and DACSLondon, 2003

Considerableeffort hasbeen made to traceand contactcopyright holders and to securereplies prior to publication However,this hasnot beenpossible in all instances,particularly with old material.The publisher apologisesfor any inadvertenterrors or omissions.If notified the publisherwill endeavourto correctthese at the earliestopportunity.

HH PUBLICATION:

Designedby RobertJohnston with JoanneTatham and Tom O'Sullivan Editedby Will Bradley Printed by Beith Printing, Glasgow

HH EXHIBITION: Commissioned by Tramway, Glasgow, November 23rd 2001to January 20th 2002

HK NECKLACE: Commissioned by Biennale, Zenomap at the 5oth Venice presented from June 11thto June 14th 2003

HK MARBLE: A 1:2o scaleversion of the HK sculptureat Tramway,produced with The ModemInstitute, Glasgow, 2002

JoanneTatham and Tom O'Sullivanwould like to thank: lain Kettles,Colin Macfarlane,Mick Peterand Kim McPhieand everyoneelse who helpedbuild the exhibition at Tramway;Anne Lindsayfor making the HK necklace;Stefania Bortolaml, Jim fambie, EnricoDavid, Adam Szymcykand PavelBüchler for hostingthe necklace;Neil Hunterfrom GlasgowCity CouncilSocial Work Department,Glasgow Association of Family SupportGroups, Phoenix House and all the interviewees;Toby Websterand TheModem Institute.

Thanksalso to AlexiaHolt for commissioningHK for Tramwayand for her continuingsupport with this project.