Oh Shit!! by Luke Hickey University Security to Go Topings Which Have Been Flushed Deputy Editor Clandon House 29-42

FREE 01/02/01 Issue no: 1000

www.ussu.co barefacts beer drink-- Bf Sporting history inging compcompe-- Profiles .uk tition p6 p17 p26-27 p33 Oh Shit!! By Luke Hickey University Security to go topings which have been flushed Deputy Editor Clandon House 29-42. Luke tolddown toilets. The cause of the barefacts what he found, “WeStag Hill blockage (weekend After the sewage problemswere called by Pete Huggins frombefore last) was not found though reported in last week’s barefacts,USSU reception, he was asked toa build up of grease in a drainpipe last weekend saw further prob-raise the highest ranking sabbati-was one suggestion. The two foul lems with the University’s sewagecal on campus. When we got towater systems are entirely sepa- system. A total of over twenty stu-Clandon, we found them all in arate and nothing indicates that the dents were moved out of Guildfordstate, with no information forthproblems are related.” Court over Saturday 27thJanuary.coming. However, UniversityHe also told us how he thought The areas affected were ClandonSecurity were great in their workthe evacuations had gone from and Compton houses. that evening.” the accommodation office’s point During Saturday afternoon Meanwhile University Securityof view, ”Although we have our fair sewage overflowed into the hall-called Ann Griffiths , a member ofshare of plumbing problems, way outside the bathroom at thethe accommodation team. Annfloods, etc. foul water leaks on this lower end of one of the blocks inattended and spent the next 4scale and affecting this number of Compton house and started flood-hours trying to find all the resi-students in such a short space of ing into and around seven bed-dents alternative rooms on cam-time are unprecedented. Both sit- rooms. University Security imme-pus. However, Ann mainly worksuations have been difficult to deal diately moved the residents outon offsite accommodation andwith because they occurred at and the accommodation officewas therefore unfamiliar with thenight and have affected the living found them rooms in Cathedralsystem of allocating on-campusconditions of a large number of Court, where they are currentlyaccommodation, so progress wasstudents. Some of these students staying at no extra charge. slow and in a few cases roomshave, understandably, been upset At approximately 9:15pm,were allocated which were alreadyby these events. sewage began flowing into thebeing lived in. Six residents (all “The Residences staff, hallway and rooms around thefemale) were given UniversityWardens, Union Sabbatical bathrooms in Clandon. ThereCourt accommodation for theOfficers and Estates and Buildings were similar problems in thisnight, with the remainder beingstaff as well as Accommodation house the previous weekend, buthoused in other University CourtsOffice staff have all played a part only on a small scale. One of theand Hazel Farm. in trying to resolve the situation as residents, told barefacts that they By the following morning theswiftly as possible. In the event called out University Security, whosewage level had lowered, leavingthat this type of event happens upon arrival helped the residentsjust the smell and toilet paper lin-again, we will take steps to re- try to hold the sewage at bay.ing the floors. On Monday morn-house students if needed and to However, a combination of theing, Richard Paxton, head of therepair the problem. The one thing Sewage flowing down the bottom floor of Clandon smell and the force of the rawaccommodation office, had arrivedI have learnt is that you cannot sewage began to overpower themto inspect the scene for himself.please everyone!” affected by the sewage problems email Luke at and they gave up. After trying toThe residents asked him if there Finally he spoke of plans for theor if you experience similar [email protected] clear everything off the floor inwould be any compensation, butnext few weeks, “We will havelems in the future then please their bedrooms, the residentshe told them that he couldn’t com-Stag Hill 29 ready for occupation went to the Court Receptions toment on it at the time. Barefactsthis week. Compton and Clandon await further information. has also been informed that to hiswill take until the middle of next At about 10pm Luke Mackenziecredit, Paxton was helping theweek to rectify. If any students and Ben McCauley (VPs forclean-up, personally ripping up thehave to move to cheaper accom- Finance and Development and forcarpets to ensure they aremodation, they will be refunded Sport respectively) were asked byreplaced rather than just cleaned.the difference. No decision has The residents also told us thatbeen made about compensation – Paxton was encouraging them toall our efforts have gone into the move back, but Susie Westwellmost important work of getting stu- (VP for Education and Welfare)dents settled again and the affect- advised them not to move backed accommodation repaired.” until she was satisfied it was safe At time of going to press, it has to do so. The six residents whoemerged that there are still prob- have been housed in Universitylems accommodating the remain- Court have now been offered it oning seven students, with some the financial terms of Guildfordunhappy with their treatment by Court. the accommodation office. There In an interview with barefacts,have also been complaints that Paxton explained what hesome residents are still waiting to believed to be the causes of theget the belongings from their two weekends worth of flooding,rooms. Whatever happens please “The blockages in Guildford Courtbe assure that barefacts will keep appear to have been caused byyou informed of the latest. Sewage - shower basin A toilet system in reverse plastic bags and plastic food wrap- If you have been personally

[email protected] News 1-4n Bf History 15-23, n barearts 7-30n Lifestyle 21 n Sport 34-36 News 2 01/02/01 Editorial who wrote the Quirk’s music tips for 2001 and the Sugar Coma interview then it was Andy (he also wrote the Alien Crash Landing rag news article as Well, it’s here, the 1000th issue. I can hardly believewell). Editorial Team it that I am here still writing my editorial at 5.30 am. Editorr Yep, it’s taken this long to compile...I suppose its theAgain, a big thank you and thanks for all the contri- Kevin Marston 36 fun filled pages which did it. butions this year to barefacts as without them there- would be a rather small paper. Deputy Editorr Anyway going back to being the editor of the 1000th Hmmm, I’ve just realised that its now the 31st and its Luke Hickey issue. I feel that its quite honour considering how many years and editors there have been before memy birthday, yeah...... err getting old now... Production Editor and hopefully they will all like the paper and what I Production Editor Well, its goodbye from a very tired me. And I will see Andrew Thomas and this years barefacts team have done with it. I believe that barefacts is one of the longest runningyou next week News Team Film Editors student newspapers in the country which has main- James Buller Libby Hurt tained the same name - even ahead of papers likeKev Mike Rolfe the the Gair Rhydd (Cardiff) Science Editorr Political Editorr Nick Walsh As for the actual paper - will it still exisit for another Reuben Thompson 1000 issues? Well, I am not sure it will in its current Sports Editorr form, a newspaper, because of the rapidly expanding internet technology, but it will great to hope that the Features Editorr Dave Chapman name will stay the same. David Abbott Marketing Team Music Editor Ali Danby Anyway, enough of me rambling on as you all are Music Editor probably getting bored of reading this by now so i Owen Hazelby Ellen van Keulen hope you enjoy the paper and if you see some ele- gantly dressed people handing out barefacts today Proof Readerr Arts Editorr then say “hi” as it will be members from the barefacts Duncan Hamilton Vacant team.

Contributors I would also like to say a big thank you to all the peo- Ali Danby ple that helped out this week on the paper whether it be writing, laying up or just staying to the same awful Reuben Thompson hours as me just to get the paper ready in time, David Abbott cheers Luke. As I am on the subject I must apologise MWC to Andy (production ed) for not putting his name on Simon Robinson two of his articles last week. So if you wanted to know Music Team SAIS & Dr Russ ...News In Brief...News In Brief...News Police Pull A Fast One the blackened shell because it was so unsafe. Just four days earlier Guildford Borough Council’s A row has erupted over ‘double standards’ used byplanning committee had save the site from demolition. Surrey Police. A Conservative Counsellor has broughtCounsellor Nigel Sutcliffe said: “I’m surprised and the constabulary to account over an incident concern-shocked and local neighbours are absolutely devas- ing its top officer. tated.” Counsellor Auriol Earle added: “It’s absolutely The Chief Constable, Denis O’Connor was travellingtragic that this much loved local landmark has gone.” in a chauffeured car at 78mph, along the A3 lastPlanning committee chairman Richard Marks said he December. Traffic police spotted the car and pulled itwould be seeing if “a similar building to that of the orig- over for speeding. When they realised who was insideinal Tangley Place, can be erected on the site.” barefacts however the officers waved the car on. Ed Goodwin a director at Camp Moss Property, who Union House, University Of Surrey Counsellor for Addlestone, Terry Dicks, questionedsubmitted the application for the office development in Guildford, Surrey, GU2 7XH Surrey Police Authority over the affair during a meet-place of the building, was equally shocked by the fire. ing of Surrey County Council on Tuesday. He hadHe said on Monday: “As far as I know the building is Tel: 01483 879275 received a written statement from the SPA saying: not insured. I only heard about the fire this morning.” Fax: 01483 534749 “The force recognises that all its drivers should set email: [email protected] the best possible example to other motorists. All police Deadline for Publication officers are able to use their discretion when dealing Please Sir, Can I Have Some More? with traffic offences.” “On this occasion, the traffic offi- Monday 12pm cer did not operate within force guidelines in respect Last year Barefacts covered the university’s of applying discretion.” “The chief constable is takingannouncement that it would be hosting a position that Submissions steps to reinforce the application of national guidelinesrapidly became dubbed as ‘Professor of Airline Food’. to the traffic officer involved and to the whole of Surrey Indeed Professor Peter Jones has now been preferably on disk / email in Word 6.0 Format,Police. The chief constable is also of the view that aappointed to the post. Officially known as ‘ Text in Arial, size 9 font prosecution should have occurred in this case.” International Flight Catering Association Chair of

barefactsis an editorially independent newspaper, published by the University of Surrey Students' Union Communications Office. O’Connor has said he was asleep at the time of theProduction and Operations Management; he shall be incident, was not aware of it and played no part. “dedicated to researching the airline catering industry” The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors, and do not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, the Editorial Board, the University of Surrey Students' Union Dicks faced the chairman of the police authority,and will receive £1/2 million sponsorship from the or the University of Surrey. Alan Peirce at the council meeting, Mr Dicks said theIFCA.

This publication may not be reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, without the express permission statement was a “whitewash.” “Does the action taken Prof. Jones said: “This is an exciting challenge. of the publisher. by Surrey Police in this instance not indicate doubleWhen the post was first announced reports in the All submissions must include the author's name and Union or Staff Number. Submission is no guarantee of publication. standards?” “Can we be assured that any othermedia suggested some scepticism about such a pro- Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published. barefactsreserves the right to edit submissions. motorist, not connected to the Chief Constable of Surrey, caught driving at 28mph above the limit in sim- Printed by ilar conditions, will be treated in the same way?” East End Offset (TU), Bow, London, E3 3LT Peirce responded “the incident may be perceived to © USSU Communications Office 2000 imply double standards. This is not the case and that Surrey Police officers will continue to focus on speeding and the threat it involves to the public in a consistent manner in accordance with nation and local guidelines.”

...Up In Smoke

An Edwardian building in Guildford caught fire last week leaving the structure dangerously unstable. Tangley Place on Worplesdon Road went up in flames on Saturday for reasons unknown. 60 Firefighters attended the scene but couldn’t save the much-loved building. Afterwards, Fire Accident Investigators could not enter what little remained of 01/02/01 News 3 ...News In Brief...continued...News In Helen Roast Bar! fessorship. But this is a big industry generating salescertain areas for under 16’s and ‘on the spot’ fines for Andrew Thomas of US$15 billion a year. It is also highly complex, com-rowdy behaviour. by prising airlines, caterers and suppliers around theYou’d think that most people would be in favour of world. I hope that my expertise in operations will bringthe measures designed to crack down on ‘yob’ cul-No sooner had certain residences on campus begun to overflow with some useful insights into how the industry may deliv-ture, but according to a BBC Online survey, 45%effluent a second crisis hit campus late on Saturday night. Motion and er better quality food and service in more effectivethought that curfews were not a good idea and want-Sonic Boom music societies were running a dance night in the HRB until and efficient ways.” ed other options to be looked at. one of the speakers caught fire, allegedly as a result of overloading the Jones will be based in the School of Management sound system. The crowd and DJs only became aware of the situation Studies for the Service Sector. when flames began to shoot from a speaker, people initially assuming Trigger Happy? – Not any more! the smoke was coming from the usual machine and the orange glow being some kind of special effect. Fire services were called and the bar Alder Hey Scandal Three fans of the television series Trigger Happyarea evacuated, the flames were contained within the speaker and so TV, screened on Channel 4, found themselves indamage was limited. However, it is believed that the fire has still caused Professor Dick van Velzen, a pathologist at theSouthend Magistrates Court this week after trying tosome £2,000 worth of damage to the sound system and immediate Alder Hey hospital in Liverpool, may face criminalimitate the sort of sketch featured on the show. Paularea. charges after an official report alleged that he hadBooth, 23, and two unnamed teenagers staged a ordered the removal of thousands of body parts frommock mugging outside a post office to fool the public. dead babies. The staff of the post office called police after seeing The news that this was done without the parent’s con-what looked like two teenagers attacking a postman. sent or knowledge will be a further embarrassmentThe three were later charged with public order for the Government who promised to improve theoffences, which they all pleaded guilty to. Booth was NHS before they were elected. fined £100 and the other two have yet to be sen- Chief Medical Professor Liam Donaldson said: “Wetenced. need to regain a lot of public trust.” Part of the strategy for this was outlined by Alan Milburn, the Health Secretary who promised: “Those who did wrong will now be held to account. The pain caused to the parents by this dreadful sequence of events is unforgivable.” There are many examples of this pain felt by parents. These include one woman who has held no less than three funerals for her son as more of the body parts have been released over time. Unsurprisingly almost everyone in the country is calling for action to ensure that this is never repeated.

Indian Earthquake Sports Round-up

Rescue The excitement about the 2001 Formula 1 season efforts areis beginning to mount this week following the launch- continuing ines of the new cars from Ferrari, Williams and Jordan India followingamongst others. Recent pre-season testing has Friday’s earth-shown that Michael Schumacher and the Ferrari quake.team will be setting the pace this season, although Fire Fire Measuring 7.9there is still a couple of months for the other teams to by Luke Hickey ing the fire/security control room, on the Richtercatch up. scale, the Boxing looks set to return to terrestrial television,Deputy Editor who then call the fire brigade and send a security team to the scene. earthquakeafter Lennox Lewis followed the example of Audley was centredHarrison and signed a deal to show future fights on After last week’s front page arti- It is only then that a decision cle on the fire in Stag Hill Court,should be taken as to whether it is in the north-the BBC. west state of The six nations rugby tournament kicks off thisbarefacts has received a lettersafe to tackle the fire youself, using from Mark McGlinchey, theappropiate equipment. Please Gujarat, butweekend, with England clear favourites to win it again was feltthis year. University Fire Prevention Adviser.remember in all cases your safety Mr. McGlinchey has asked us tois the most important thing,so throughout India, as well remind readers of the correct pro-please do not tackle the fire unless cedure when discovering a fire. Weyou are convinced it is safe to do as in Pakistan Lockerbie and are, of course, more than happy toso. do so. Fire is a dynamic phenomenon Bangladesh. Many rescue teams continued to searchThe long awaited verdict of the two Libyan men for several days, their spirits lifted by miracle storiesaccused of the Lockerbie bombing was announced Upon discovering a fire youand can be very unpredictable in should immediately raise the alarmnature. of people being pulled alive from the wrecked build-yesterday. Pan Am flight 103 blew up over the ings on Tuesday. One man was pulled out after beingScottish town, over twelve years ago in Decemberby breaking the nearest glass fire The first priority is always to alarm call point. This alerts every-raise the alarm. trapped for 103 hours and promptly joined the search1982, resulting in the death of a total of 270 people. claiming he was fine. The search and clear-up con-Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, 48, and Al Aminone else in the building to the factIf you have any questions about that there is a fire situation andfire safety, please do not hesitate tinues and will probably carry on for several days. Khalifa Fhimah, 44, both deny muder but will face life imprisonment if convicted. (At time of going to pressgives them the opportunity to evac-to speak to your departmental uate. safety officer or one of the sabbs. the verdict had not been returned). By doing this you are also alert- Elections

The closing date for the sabbatical elections Anti-yob measures divide voters

With the election looming (well 4 months isn’t that and NUS delegates long, is it?), certain key issues are bound to come up again and again. One big area is going to be law and by James Buller & Mike Rolfe order, but a recent poll suggests that voters have split forms is 4pm, Friday opinions about whether the Government’s “zero toler- ance” approach will work. 2nd February The proposed measures include restrictions on drinking in some public places, placing curfews on Your Emails & Greensoc 4 01/02/01 Your Emails

To: barefacts From: Alex Stanway Subject: RE: Tuition Fees Cc:

Dear Sir, array of innovative solutions thatask if they *would* do so. to? The point is really a more gen-erty and freedom from coercion none of us here, nor anyone inIf taxation is about 'asking' peo-eral one of how can we haveare rights each person posesses In reply to Tristan O'Dwyer's let-Whitehall or Westminster couldple to contribute, then what hap-rights that put active obligationsof himself, and may trade for other ter last week I wish to make sev-think of in 100 years of discussingpens if I say no? Ultimately refusalon other people? We can have athings more useful to him. For eral points. it. to pay taxes will get you put inright to free speech, private prop-example most people trade the First of all, as I explained on theWhen every significant inventionprison. The whole point of 'asking'erty and other such rightsright to do what they want for 8 web site discussion boards, as Ifrom the wheel to the microchipsomeone something, is that theybecause they don't require any-hours a day, in exchange for mak- believe in self interest, and ithas been developed by privatehave a choice. With taxation theone to take any specific action, alling a living. Can I sell my right to would be against my interests toindividuals and companies, it is'choice' is 'give us your money orthey require is that no one inter-education? No. It is therefore not leave the NUS, I have no intentionquite simply wrong to say that pri-we'll lock you up.' This is not myferes with our right to do that.a right I posess, but rather an enti- of doing so. vate funding will not cover blueunderstanding of being asked. Having a right to education (andtlement handed down frm above. Primary education could be fund-sky research. As the recentLastly, my point about educatorsother consumables) puts obliga-From a state that is meant to rep- ed by parents, charitable organi-dot.com explosion on stock mar-refusing to educate us is a trulytions on others. These obliga-resent and serve us, but has in sations and anyone else whokets showed, massive funding ishypothetical one, but if we have ations, and so the 'rights' we getfact come to own and control us. chooses to fund it. One of theavailable for innovative compa-right to education, I think it mustfrom them, can not exist along beauties of having no centrallynies exploring a potentially usefulbe addressed. Supposing no oneside the right to do as we pleaseAlex Stanway imposed system is that with everytechnology. Could any govern-was prepared to teach in schools,and to own private property. school working it's own wayment anywhere have raised andcolleges and universities, howFurther to this I would ask where around the problems schoolstargetted this money so quicklywould/could the government givethese rights come from? The face, there would soon be anand effectively, before we evenus the education we have a rightrights to free speech, private prop- Please send all responces to emails to barefacts not the author. If you would like to write a letter then please send them to [email protected] GUILDFORD SAYS “NO!”

By Emma van Huysse waste in it’s immediate proximity thereforespeech from Abbottswood Residentsthe main issues – recycling, health, traffic, Ethics & Envirmoment Officer much additional transportation would beAssociation also suggested an adoption ofand the tentative nature of the Surrey Waste At The Guildford Civic necessary). They also identified severalthe ‘Three R’s” – “Reject! Reject! Reject!”Local Plan. She also mentioned the visual gaps in TWM’s plan regarding the facilities Each of the Councillors were then givenimpact, proximity principal, lack of compli- to be provided for recycling and use of thethe opportunity to speak, and their viewsance with the County Waste Plan as being The meeting, held before a packed Civicgenerated energy, as well as pointing outsimply served to emphasise those alreadyof significant importance. A vote was called, Hall and relayed to the equally full bar areathat TWM has no contract to deal withgiven. An amendment to the Council’sand all members voted that the Thames last Tuesday represented an importantSurrey’s waste so we could end up import-report, referring to the final decision from theWaste Management’s proposal for an incin- event in the future of the incinerator propos-ing rubbish from all over to ensure the incin-County Council taking until July, was dis-erator at Slyfield should be rejected by als for Slyfield. At the special Planningerator is maintained running at its full capac-cussed – it was felt that this was too long. ASurrey County Council. This decision was Meeting, attended by 23 councillors, an offi-ity. Ian Moore (Centre for the Protection ofsmall change was made, although theregreeted with a cheer from everyone present cial objection was made by GuildfordRural England) highlighted this, picturingwere concerns that to hurry the case mayin the hall, and after over three hours of dis- Borough Council to the County Council withGuildford becoming a “central bonfire facili-lead to the wrong conclusion being reached,cussions, words of thanks were made and whom the decision now lies. Their case wasty” for the county. Significantly, the Wasteor for the wrong reasons. the meeting was drawn to a close. strongly supported by GAIN (Guildford AntiLocal Plan is currently under review, so anyIt was pointed out that even with increasedWe are now left to await the decision from Incinerator Network), 16 public speakers,plans are being judged against dated infor-recycling targets being met, there would stillthe County Council. If planning permission and by the massive public response with amation and changeable policies, and it wasbe some waste that would need disposingis granted and the proposal is allowed to turnout of over 1200! Although invited tosuggested that planning permission should-somehow. One Councillor stated he felt thatproceed, several of the MP’s in attendance attend, Thames Waste Management, then’t even be considered, let alone granted,incineration was a better option than landfill,stated that they would have the case called company making the application for theuntil the local waste policy has beenbut was still opposed this proposal as he feltup to be considered at Government level. incinerator, was conspicuous by theirfinalised. the scale of the plan was totally inappropri- absence. Next was the turn of the public, with Rev.ate for Guildford’s needs. A valid opinion The evening began with Simon Birch,Colin Matthew’s of GAIN stating a clearthat needs addressed. Director of Planning for GBC, introducingcase against the proposal. Again, the report Councillor Angela Gunning summed up those present and outlining the key ele-was backed with scientific evidence, and ments of the proposal. Three independentshowed the tremendous level of public feel- experts have been employed to look at theing in its depth and detail. Many of those main issues that have been raised as objec-involved have very real fears regarding their tions: families’ health and the potential risk of something going seriously wrong. As a com- 1) Pollution/waste and its effects pany, TWM has the worst record for envi- on health. ronmental convictions amongst all UK com- 2) Appearance of the design. panies. 3) Effects on local transport routes.The 16 other speakers were members of the local community – individuals such as These were discussed in turn, and all theteachers, MP’s, Community associations, experts gave presentations with a scientifi-and businesses. Many of the issues raised cally supported negative response. The fac-were similar to those already stated, tors described included the lack of knowl-although there were many additional per- edge of the effects of dioxins and othersonal responses and all the speakers had emissions on health, increased congestiontrouble expressing the full weight of their on the roads, economic impacts, impacts onopinions within their allotted 3 minutes. the local environment which includes theWhat stood out was a huge commitment to Riverside Park and areas of particular con-increasing recycling, with MP Nick St.Aubyn servational value, the high potential visibilitystating “If Colchester can recycle half their of the incinerator building itself, and failurewaste, Guildford can recycle half their to comply with the proximity principal (inwaste”. MP Sue Doughty urged the council other words, the incinerator site and size isto “Go back and start again with a much not appropriate to deal with the volume ofmore imaginative policy!” An animated 01/02/01 Features 5 Your ShoutApathy Soc byLuke Hickey associated costs, for exampleThe fridge then toppled over Deputy Editor insurance type policies. Butand landed on him. He pro- anyway the company wouldn'tceeded to bring a case Column So how have you been keep-take your case on if theyagainst the fridge manufactur- ing lately? I hope you haven'tthought you would loose. Iers because there was noby A.Member had any cause to take a trip towouldn't like to comment onmention in the instruction A&E, but imagine for athat, as I will probably getbook to not climb on it. Ificanbebothered editor moment that you have. Was itsued myself if I give my opin- The national press recently after a car crash, bit ofion. What I will say though ishad a field day, taking the whiplash perhaps? Did youthat these companies are notmickey when the BBC brought trip and twist your ankle orstupid. out a number of instruction wrist on an uneven bit ofI heard a couple of storiesleaflets, including one about paving (nothing to do with theover Christmas, I'm not 100%how to go through revolving 10 pints you've just con-sure that their true but if thedoors and another about how sumed, I hope)? Or did youcurrent escalation in 'Claim'to boil a kettle. I personally burn yourself by putting yourcompanies continues thenthink this was sheer genius arm in the oven and leaving itthey could soon be very typi-from the beeb, covering them- there for about ten minutes?cal cases. A convicted thiefselves in advance, but it does You may laugh but thanks tobroke into a house and triedprovide a sad indictment on an influx of 'No Win, No Fee'to steal a washing machine,society. or 'Where there's blame,but when he went to pick it up So my point is this, if there there's a claim' companies,he found it to be too heavyis a genuine accident that was you are being encouraged toand injured his back so muchsomebody else's fault (and I'm conform to the kind of 'blamethat he couldn't move. Whentalking about it being their culture' that we stereotypical-the house owners got homefault morally, not just legally) ly associate with America.they found him andcalled thethen by all means seek com- The premise is simple, havepolice. The thief then tried topensation. However if it was an accident, ensure you havesue the washing machinejust one of those things, I beg a case for saying it was some-manufacturers because thereyou, please use the old fash- one else's fault entirely andwas no notice on the washingioned method of not always then sue them. If you win,machine saying that it waslooking for a scapegoat to everybody's happy, you getheavy. financially take to the clean- some money, the company Story two: a perfectly saneers. Maybe then we might gets some money. If you lose,man just bought a new fridge,start to slow down the alarm- you don't pay a penny.upon getting it home he, for aing growth in these types of Actually, that's not alwaysreason probably only knowncompanies that make money true, often there are variousto him, decided to climb on it.out of people's misfortune. Know Your Rights byTom Sugarman The most common health and safety problem cited in Feature Writer the workplace was employers failing to provide transport either late at night or early in the morning, Due to the introduction of tuition fees and the aboli-although this is in part due to the introduction of the tion of maintenance grants, paid employment hasminimum wage. This is because employers have become a necessity for students wishing to avoidlooked to cut costs in order to negate adverse effects huge debts after graduation. With more than 90% ofon profit margins and hence fringe benefits such as all students working during the holidays & 40% duringtaxis for transport home in the evening have been a term time clearly knowledge of rights in the workplacecasualty. is an important topic for students. In conjunction with the public service union UNISON In November 1999 the NUS and the Trade Unionthe NUS has produced a website Congress joined forces to launch the 'Unions inwww.troublework.org.uk which gives students infor- Partnership' campaign. This aimed to bring studentsmation and advice on all aspects of employment rang- into trade union membership as it is only by joining aing from self - motivation to dealing with a bullying trade union that a student's rights in the workplace canboss. be assured. In conjunction with this is the continuing A Summary of your rights is shown below although NUS 'grants not fees' campaign to abolish tuition fees,troubleatwork.org.uk is a good starting point if you which if successful would reduce the need for stu-have a particular problem. dents to work in the first place. Another joint NUS & TUC initiative is the 'Are you getting enough' cam-From your first day at work in a new job you are paign, aimed at raising student awareness of theirentitled to: new rights at work under the national minimum wage. The scale of the problems faced by students in the* A proper pay statement showing how much you earn workplace can be seen by NUS 'Students at Workwith any deductions Survey' where 311 students were surveyed. The most· worrying aspects of the survey were that: * Time off for antenatal care · * Over two thirds were working to meet basic living* Freedom from discrimination on grounds of sex, race costs or disability

* 90% of respondents said that their employment was not relevant to their chosen career. After you have worked for one month you are entitled to: * The average rate of pay was £4.37 per hour. In rela-· tion to the Council of Europe's decency threshold* One week's notice of dismissal (£6.90 per hour) or the Low Pay Unit's low pay thresh-· old (£6.38 per hour) it is clear students are working in* Payment if you are suspended low pay jobs.

* Only 25% of respondents said there was a recog-After one year's service you are entitled to nised trade union in their workplace. · * Claim unfair dismissal Unsurprisingly the survey found those working long· hours affected academic work with 59% of respon-* A written statement from your employer stating why dents stating that there work had a detrimental impactyou have been sacked on their degree. 21% had failed to submit coursework. Reuben rants 6 01/02/01

Reuben Rantshe’s political!

by Reuben Thompson pletely true, but the aforemen-for British citizenship by Indian bil-Australia. The Political Editor tioned Mr. Mandelson managed tolionaire SP Hinduja. Mandelsonmain difference get himself sacked (“resigned”) fordenies having done anything par-this time is that dubious behaviour for the secondticularly wrong, but he did after alle-commerce site 192.com shippedBaker took the home secretary to Well, if you are looking for thetime in a year. His repeated riseinitially deny having borrowed5,000 copies into the UK in directcourt this week over his refusal to sensible side of British politics, Iand fall has astounded many by£300,000 off the then paymaster-opposition to the ban. The Sundayreveal whether MI5 held a file on suggest that you take a break fromactually being faster than that ofgeneral, Geoffrey Robinson, lastTimes then argued that since thehim for his “ecological activities” my article this issue (as if any ofMichael Hesletine under the Toriesyear. Whatever the truth behindpublic could get the book anyway(i.e. Greenpeace membership). you actually read it anyway!).in the mid eighties. He does,the matter, both Ann Widecombethey could print excerpts. The highThis is the first test of the new There has been nothing but back-though have some way to goand William Hague have had ancourt agreed, saying it wouldFreedom of Information act. stabbing and bitching all week,before notching up the grand totalabsolute field day in ripping it out“make a mockery of the govern-Unfortunately however, the act is most of it surrounding one Peterof four sackings thusfar enjoyed byof our beloved government. ment if something widely availablewidely expected to fall to pieces at Mandelson, an unimposing gentle-Hesletine. In other news, Richardwere suppressed”. The upshot ofthe first piece of controversy due man, known for his non-controver-On this particular occasion, theTomlinson, the ex MI6 spy, hasall this is that the government hadto the general wooliness of its con- sial behaviour, whom none of us(ex-)Northern Ireland Secretarybeen defying a government ban onto back down and it will nowtent. Yet another case of that regu- had ever really noticed before thishas managed to get the heave-hothe publication of his book by hav-appear in paperback here in thelar government problem— a good week. for some alleged “discrepancies”ing it published in Moscow, muchUK next month. idea executed badly. Okay, so that last bit wasn’t com-in the handling of the applicationas Spycatcher was printed in Lastly, Lib-Dem MP Norman

USSU Onlinehttp://www.ussu.co.uk by Bulent Yazici that with proper marketing, thefeedback form to send him these. Technology Officer If you remember what the old web-website will generate more hitsThese would also help in his proj- site looked like last year, you'lland this in turn will allow the unionect documentation! realize that the website has goneto charge more companies with With the Unions' continous effort tothrough a lot of design changes.advertising deals. improve its' services to the stu-This was B's first priority as the dents, USSU has appointed Bulentnew site makes it easier to navi-In the last academic year (1999- 'B' Yazici as the new Webmastergate and be able to add more sec-2000), the Union website received and Technology Officer of thetions if needed. Next came theabout 130 visitors per week. Now, Union. He has been working onsecond goal; Moving the USSUthe website is regularly receiving the website, as a part of his finalsite out of the University serversmore than 1,200 visitors per week. year project. This way, the Unionand placing it outside JANET (TheThis nearly ten-fold increase is has been helping B with thisUK academia network on which allmore than anyone in the Union degree and in return B has been.ac.uk websites are hosted on).expected but is a measure of the providing a professional service toThis allows the website to be data-success of the website. B is hoping USSU and the student body, freebase driven which in turn allowswith proper marketing, the aware- of charge! online administration pages toness of the website can be raised which all clubs, societies, sabbsand this might even rocket the Last semester B put down someand several other Union membersusage of the website to well over goals he wanted to achieve withhave rights to enter and change2,500 visitors per week. One of the the website the website. The one downside ishardest challenges that has that students accessing the web-plagued B is the flow of information - Improve the design and ease ofsite from their rooms for free, usingfrom the sabbaticals and other offi- use of the USSU website the internal dialup, are temporarilycials, to the students, via the web- - Increase the frequency of visits tonot able to view the site. He is hop-site. The Union has been running the site. ing that UCS will soon give accessin a set way and it has been hard - Increase the awareness of stu-to residents. (This is under UCS'sto change some of this. As time dents to events around thecontrol, not ntl). Another advan-progresses, the flow of information University and the Union. tage of moving the site out of thehas been growing but at the - Attract advertisers to generateUniversity network is the ability tomoment he still considers it a trick- The New Union web into page. much needed money. have our own domain name,le. Hopefully, in the upcoming - All these goals sound like a goodwww.ussu.co.uk which is easier tomonths, this will increase and idea, but a lot of changes neededremember and is more suited formaybe to a full flowing river of to be done to the website beforemarketing purposes. Anotherinformation by next year when the they could be achieved. Not allimportant advantage is the factnew sabbs will learn from the these changes are visible to thethat it is now easier to advertise onbeginning to work with the website. visitors of the site but the way thethe Union website. In fact, with aIn the meantime, he will be using website runs now allows thedeal with NUS, the Union is nowhis role as Technology Officer to Sabbs and relevant Union peoplereceiving £4,000 a year for adver-try to change things around the to update the site more regularly. tising on the website. B is hopingUnion.

So, go on, have a look around the website. It now boasts the following;

Up-to-date news and information More and in-depth information about the Union and events General Information Forums (Bulletin Board) Pictures pages Sports & Societies pages Jobs @ Union section Welfare & Services pages Elections pages Auction pages

B is working continously on the website and if you want to help B, he would love to hear your com- ments and suggestions about the A snippet from the flash movie introwebsite. You can use the online An example of the easy to use menu system Music News Competitions OFU Music News and Competitions 8 01/02/01 Music News 30 people have been injured at the Biging experience affects us profoundly.” Day Out festivalin Sydney AustraliaThe band have pulled out due to argu- this week. During Limp Bizkit’shead-ments with the organisers about not put- line set 30 people had to be pulled out ofting on extra security. Meanwhile in the the moshpit and several members of theUK the bands success continues by top- crowd had sustaining injuries includingping both the album and single charts. one girl who suffered a heart attack and was resuscitated back stage by para-Jonathan Kingformer Radio 1 DJ and medics. Limp Bizkit were given praisepop mogul has been charged with 11 for their actions by stopping their set inoffences against young men and boys what the organisers called a “difficult sit-with some of the incidences dating back Limp Bizkit uation with a volatile audience”.to the 1970’s. King was arrested byshow in Reykjavik to preview some offor being manufactured. O-Town, the “Excessive heat and crowd excitement”police on January 23rdand was taken tothe new material. The new album fea-result of the TV series ‘Making The were blamed for the cause of the inci-Staines police station in Middlesextures rare vocals from frontman StuartBand’ were put together by former N- dent. where he was later released on bail. HeBraithwaitebut he has commented heSync manager Lou Pealrmanwho was is due to return to Staines magistratechose to do it because “there are lots ofsacked by the band in 1998. Lance As a result of this incident Limp Bizkitcourt on February 13thto face furtherbands making the kind of recordsBass from N-Sync said that the bands have withdrawn from the remaining ofcharges. King has yet to comment onMogwai made two years ago, so we hadobjections are justified on ethical their headline appearances at the Bigthese new charges. to make something different.” Fans willgrounds that the way O-Town got Day Out festival shows. A statement be pleased to know that “there’s stilltogether was “just a bunch of stupidity.” from the band commented that “concernMogwai’snew album ‘Rock Action’isnoise, though.” Something about the pot calling the ket- for our fans safety and well being is ournow complete and is going to be tle black springs to mind. first priority… people hurt during what isreleased on April 23rd. Before theFinally this week, popsters N-Sync supposed to be an enjoyable and unify-release they are due to play a one offhave slammed pop newcomers O-Town

Hi, Lovebite here again with a plethora of goodies for you to win off me in the usual manner. My thanks to the Bird Bums for standing in for me last week, although her running the comps coincided with a drop in the number of people entering, in fact nobody entered. Marvellous. CompetitionWell despite this I have some fantastic prizes for you; how do you fancy, £75 in Topman/Topshop vouchers, or two VIP Union Semester Passes, or two tickets to the Boy George gig, sound good read on. As usual all entries (except the Boy George one) have to be in by 6pm Monday 6thFebruary 2001. Email your answers to barefacts@surrey.ac.uk. Editor’s decision is final, first name out of the hat for all Time! except the FNO tickets. Win 2 Tickets to Boy George FNO

Ok so you’ve heard of Boy George then, fancy seeing him at the union tomorrow (Fri 2ndFeb) but don’t want to fork out £6 a ticket to go and see him. Well help is at hand as I have a pair of tickets to give away. For what I hope are fairly obvious reasons, please get all entries in to barefacts’ email address by 2pm Friday 2ndFebruary. Please include a phone number which we will be able to contact you on to let you know you’ve won. So here’s the question:

Which band was Boy George the lead singer of?

Boyzone Culture Club The Tweenies

Win £75 to spend in Win 2 VIP Union Passes

Topshop or Topman! How do you fancy free entry to the Union for most Friday’s left before Easter? I’m sure you know how the VIP passes work, so I wont bore This one is really easy, I give you £75 of vouchers if you’re the first you with the details but basically the prize would cost you (if you could name out of the hat or if you’re the second or third then I give you £25. still buy them) £30. Worth having? Well answer this question: Nice. You can spend these vouchers at a dozen places including Topman / Topshop, Burtons, Dorothy Perkins, Evans, and Miss This issue of barefacts is the Selfridge. To be in with a shout of winning this fantastic prize just answer this really easy question: 10th 100th What was so special about week 2 of this semester? 1000th

It was Rag week It was Old Hag week It was New Carrier Bag week Win 6 FNO Tickets

Old one this, just answer the following question in the wittest, most original and apt way you can think of and you and 5 of your mates can get into the union for free and without having to queue, and as if that wasn’t enough, I’ll even throw in Fuse’s latest album, Audio. Can’t say fairer than that can I?

Other than Friday Night Out, what could FNO stand for? (please remember this is a family newspaper and we don’t print rude works) 01/02/01 Millionaire 9 Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Hi, quizmaster Lovebite here again, Ask the Audience 50:50 being bf’s 1000th birthday we thought we’d let some of our finest £100: a 0% b: 100% c: 0% d: 0% £100: keep a & b jouirnalists show themselves up. For £200: a: 100% b: 0% c: 0% d: 0% £200: keep a & d example how much does Chops,our £300: a: 0% b: 3% c: 95% d: 2% £300: keep c & d sports ed., really know about sport, £500: a: 19% b:3% c: 78% d: 0% £500: keep b & c or how much of a film buff is our film £1000: a: 16% b: 74% c: 7% d: 3% £1000: keep a & b editor, Libby. As usual, two lifelines £2000: a: 72% b: 15% c: 3% d: 10% £2000: keep a & d (ask the audience and 50:50) and if £4000: a: 4% b: 88% c: 7% d: 3% £4000: keep b & c they get the £1000 and £32k ques- £8000: a: 9% b: 8% c: 79% d: 4% £8000: keep a & c tions right, they ‘win’ at least that. If £16000: a: 6% b: 59% c: 31% d: 4% £16000: keep b & d you want to take part in a future £32000: a: 32% b: 45% c: 21% d: 2% £32000: keep a & b Millionaire, and represent your £64000: a: 6% b: 21% c: 34% d: 39% £64000: keep a & d department, society or sports club £125,000: a: 4% b: 31% c: 16% d: 49% £125,000: keep c & d then drop us a line a barefacts@sur- £250,000: a: 33% b: 39% c: 18% d: 10% £250,000: keep a & c rey.ac.uk. £500,000: a: 24% b: 29% c: 21% d: 26% £500,000: keep a & b £1,000,000: a: 27% b: 25% c: 26% d: 22% £1,000,000: keep a & d Thanks to everybody who rather gleefully pointed out to me that most of last week’s answers were wrong. The Contestants I would at this point like to blame Kev, but it probably was my fault. They should have read: c,b,a,b,d, a,d,b,a,c d,a,c,b,a. And yes, I did make the Dave Chapman Alison Danby questions far too easy last week, please rest assured, I won’t be so gen- erous in the future. First up was Surfer Boy Representing the marketing Chops, our learned Sports team was the Miss Piggy of Finally, last week’s winner Jez suggested that there is a Champions, Editor, who openly professes the bf team. Ali started off Weakest Link style, play off before Easter. So hopefully it will happen live to know not a lot about sport living up to her blondness by in the Union, with maybe a small prize for the winner. I’ve always fancied (as his prediction of Man Utd saying, “I can always do it being Anne Robinson. Goodbye. for the Cup shows). Chops on the telly, I’m actually quite started off exclaiming that he good on the telly.” She didn’t ‘did really badly last week however offer an opinion on The Questions: and it was meant to have been too easy’ Well, he how she would do at the quiz. Ali started off well, managed to stumble through the first six, with a fewknowing every answer till question 5 where she £100: What is the capital of Ireland guesses, but he did manage to avoid using any life-asked the audience, which confirmed what she a: Single b: Dublin c: Treblin d: Qudruplin lines. Question six saw a big gamble, as he had nothought. Question 6 was confortable for the Winnie idea, except it wasn’t the Spice Girls, but he the Pooh number one fan but disaster struck on £200: What style of cooking would you be eating if you were consumingguessed correctly. He amazingly got the sportsques-question 7. Ali took her 50:50 lifeline and then pro- a Korma? tion (7) then used his audience lifeline on questionceeded to guess wrongly. a: Indian b: Italian c: Chinese d: Scottish 8, and followed their advice. Question nine was another guess, then 10 then saw his downfall, as he£1,000 £300: Which of these days comes earliest in the calendar year? incorrectly thought d was correct. a: Christmas Day b: May Day c: St. Valentines Day Dave Abbott d: St. Stephen's Day £1,000 Union Chairperson, bf fea- £500: Martin Kemp used to be a member of which band? Owen Hazelby tures editor and now a: Duran Duran b: Queen c: Spandau Ballet d: The Spice Girls Millionaire contestant, how Bf man with his finger on does the vampire fit it all £1000: In which Shakespearean play did Sooth Sayers advise a char- the pulse of today’s music in? Well, in the middle of acter to 'Beware the idea of March'? began with the question his frantic schedule , we a: MacBeth b: Julius Caesar c: Hamlet d: The Comedy of Errors “Why have I been roped tested his general know- into this?” Well the incred- eldge. He stard off having a £2000: Who created Winnie The Pooh? ably clever Man-Made pop at me, “Are the ques- a: A.A. Milne b: Enid Blyton c:Lewis Carroll d: Roald Dahl Marion had nothing to fear tion correct this week? I’m not well at the minute but as he sped through the first I’ve got at least £32k both previous times.” His confi- £4000: In a normal game of basketball, how many players can each eight questions with only dence was misplaced as he stumbled through the side have on the court at any time? one slight hitch. Owen took first five questions with a combination of guesses a: 4 b: 5 c: 6 d: 7 his audience lifeline on question 3 being unsure and the audience lfeline onquestion 4 (and then when St. Stephens Day is (26th December). acusing me of being wrong again). Question 7 was £8000: How many months were there in early Roman Calendars? Question nine saw the end of the Music God, afterthen when his luck ran out as he incorrectly a: 6 b: 8 c: 10 d: 12 taking a 50:50, he still had no idea so he took the guessed 7. money. A wise move as his guess was wrong, so £16000: Which was Sean Connery's second film as James Bond? Owen is through to the grand final. £1,000 a: Diamonds are Forever b: From Russia with Love c: Dr. No d: Goldfinger £8,000 Libby Hurt

£32000: Which Prime Minister came to power immediately after Sir Film editor Libby was last to Winston Churchill's third and final term ended in 1955? James Buller take to the hotseat and had a: Clement Attlee b: Sir Anthony Eden c: Harold MacMillan the advantage of knowing d: Harold Wilson One of bf’s longest serving everybody else was useless before her. She started off £64000: In which year was Sir Christopher Wren born? members, Jimbo is the by declaring that she was a: 1482 b: 1532 c: 1582 d: 1632 main member of the news team, having been it’s edi- “quietly confident”. The sex- tor from 1997. He started godness next door neigh- £125,000: What is the 14th chemical element? bour began in a similar vein a: Lithium b: Boron c: Carbon d: Silicon off with a quietly confident, “I enjoy the program a lot to Mr. Hazelby by getting through to question 8 having lost just the one lifeline, audience, on question 3. £250,000: Which rugby union team play at The Memorial Stadium? and usually do quite well.” Question 8, though, totally threw the film buff and a: Bristol b: Northampton c: Rotherham d: Harlequins Well, James was the first of the contestants to sail through the first three withoutshe took the money, not having any idea as to the either having to guess or use a lifeline. answer. So she escped without answering the film £500,000:Who played the male lead in the Hollywood Classic 'Yankie question (9) but for the record she got it wrong. Doodle Dandy' ? However, the first lifeline was used on question 4 (a 50:50) and then second shortly after on question 5. a: Fred Astaire b: James Cagney c: James Dean £4,000 d: Dean Martin In both cases he then got the question correct. Question 6 proved straight forward enough but the £1,000,000: Who invented the hovercraft? basketball question took another victim as James The Answers a: Sir Christopher Cockerell b: Sir Michael Spowner thought it was 4. c: Sir Timothy Duken d: Sir Richard McGoverall £100: b £200: a £300: c £500: c £1000: b £1,000 £2000: a £4000: b £8000: c £16000: b £32000: b £64000: d £125,000: d £250,000: a £500,000: b £1,000,000: a Music Reviews 10 01/02/01

THEWEBBBROTHERS – I Can’t Believe You’re Gone (Mews 5) Single of the Week Singles“I can’t believe it” sing the Webb broth- ers on their latest single. Perhaps it isLLAMA FARMERS them reflecting on their recent success.– Note On The Door Shivaree – Goodnight Moon (Capitol)With sold out UK shows and successful This debut UK single from Shivaree is (Beggars Banquet) single sales their name may one dayA relentlessly catchy simply magnificent. Fronted bybecome bigger than their dad’s. ‘I Cant Ambrosia, with her chilling beautiful guitar riff is the basis Believe You’re Gone’ is a strutting,of this single, which vocals which make Shivaree sound likestomping piano fuelled romp. 7/10 S.R. Mazzy Star with the complexity and is another demon- genius of Tom Waits. Goodnight Moon stration that guitar CRASHLAND - Waiting For Someonedriven pop is by no is a beautiful, weird musical sound-(Independiente) scape that needs to be savoured. 8/10 means dead… quite 1995 was the year of Britpop. Crashlandalright! 8/10 J.H. S.R. are 6 years too late. With a boppy rhythm, a slightly nasal singer, and plen- LOWGOLD - Mercury (Nude) ty of “nah nah nah” backing vocals Blame Coldplay. 2001 will no doubt seeeverything is here. Nice, but tired. 6/10cessful. 6/10 J.H. they were from the states which I mean many trying to emulate the success ofA.T. as a compliment but the tunes here the band who brought you ‘Yellow’. 57 DYNASTY - Ghetto Gold / Holdwere , in my opinion nothing to shout Thankfully Lowgold are actually quiteSPACEK – Eve (Island) Strong about . Although I think in the future they good, at least in the genre of acousticA fluid blend of styles and sounds, thisThese guys are from Brixton and bymight produce something a bit more bedsit escapist romanticism. 8/10 A.T.debut single should prove quite suc-their rapping you know, you might thinkexceptional. 5/10 C.H.

SPOOKS - S.I.O.S.O.S- Volume 1 become quite successful. .lets see… oncoming charges of heavy metal gui- This is new commercialised hip hop5/10 C.H tars and dodging a steady pritzing of from New York. It sounds ok and some dance rhythms.” So all you punks, what of the tunes are catchy, but I think thatAPARTMENT 26 - Papa Roach are you waiting for? Albums much of their style has been taken fromThis is their debut album and I thought3/10 C.H. the Fugees. I think they are trying to useit was trash. Trash metal fusing all sorts sounding like a cross between Neil the same recipes for success. Check itof stuff together in anarchistic orgy ofLUKAN – Lukan (Depth) Young And Brian Molko, the guitars out though . “Things I’ve Seen” hasmelodies. The collection is a “wild rideThe new album from Lukan features 10 been on the Radio quite a bit recentlythat speeds down the rock and roll free-dynamic new songs filled with theirhave muscle and the drummer must get through a set of drums a day at least, so I guess if you liked that then you’llway like a blur , hopping over drum n’trademark big riffs and arena drums, big judging by this!!!. These guys have all like the album. I think Spooks willbass like speed-bumps, swirling aroundchoruses and intelligent, soulful lyrics… Lukan rock, and that, nowadays, is anthe ingredients to make it big: great songs, great tunes and loads of atti- extremely precious commodity! Keep a tude. Thirst will definitely quench your look out for them, they are going to be Album of the Weekhuge. 7/10 J.H. thirst for good music! 7/10 O.C. KINGS OF CONVENIENCE - Quiet Is Arab Strap – Love TEENAGE FANCLUB – Howdy Detective (Chemikal (Columbia) The New Loud (Mawlaw) The title says it all. KOC are very very Underground) The Scottish quartet that attracted mod- quiet. Bare acoustic plucking features in Aidan Moffat must be the ern rock attention with its Geffen debut most depressed person Thirteen and has given us such greatjust about all the songs (because, presumably, strumming would be a little too known to man. albums as ‘Bandwagonesque’ and aggressive?). First track, ‘Winning A Constantly singing of for- ‘Songs From Northern Britain’ bounces lorn love and ex-girl- back with a new set that alternatesBattle, Losing The War’, is pleasant in a poor Belle & Sebastian clone kind of friends, Arab Strap are between well-crafted harmonies and way. From then on in it’s even quieter, enough to drive anyone stormy guitar interplay. With lines like to suicide. However, this “Don’t know what I’ll do but laziness willand verging on folk. Crossed legs round a camp fire, this deserves 3/10 A.T. is their greatness, they see me through” this is the album all sing about real feelings fourth years doing their dissertations and emotions that have have been waiting for, but I am sure you not be created for them, will all find something in it you like! 7/10 something pop never O.C does. This is dark, moody, melancholic and THIRST – From Mouth To Skin (Zip)This weeks reviews brought to you by: f**king great. 9/10 S.R. These are some of the most honest andAndrew Thomas, Christian Hunter, Alex bold lyrics I have heard for quite aRajkovic, Simon Robinson. Matt while… their frontman is excellent,Southcombe, Oliver Chamero. Rock DJ! DJ Downfall / The Sunset Sound London Kings X Waterats, 13thJanuary The Sunset Sound are a five piece thatIt’s a strange idea to make a DJ a headline includes 2 ex members of power poppers,act at a live gig but DJ Downfall almost pulls Gel, and 1 from infamous grrrl teen punks,it off. Backed by primitive drum machine Period Pains. It is unsurprising to find theirrhythms and synths DJ Downfall (formerly sound is a heady mixture of naïve har-John from C96 discopunks, Dweeb) is joined monies and choppy fuzz. The influencesby a mate to set off vocal samples and fiddle stem from the early sixties, even going as farwith keyboards. It sounds like music for an as to cover the “ba ba ba, ba, Barbara Anne”Amiga game for the most part, occasionally tune that most people now recognise fromwith earth shuddering drum loops free falling the Baby Bell cheese adverts. Neither asin. Not much to watch and not really very camp as Steps or as allegedly “indie rock” asdanceable either, his “live experience” either the previous act they supported, the Dumneeds to be enhanced or he should hide Dums, this gang need a direction to takebehind some decks and wave his hands them away from being merely passablyoccasionally ala Fatboy Slim. pleasant. Andrew Thomas Music Reviews/ live 01/02/01 11 Why Does “Directors Cut” and “Special Edition” mean More Music (or Film)? Think of the words. Special Edition. campaign currently defacing posters across Tube Stations in Britain? Simple. In some First used in 1980, to promote the thenway, to try to prop up the corrupt, inefficient ‘Directors Cut’ of Spielberg’s “Closeand uncompetitive British Music Industry, the Encounters Of The Third Kind”, it began toindustry has chosen to bastardise our music mean, slowly, but surely, the way in whichby tacking on new sleeves, extra unreleased the directors of said film could ‘reclaim’ theand unreleasable material and bootleg movie from the commercial clutches of themixes with gaffa tape to our established major studios and present their original,albums. untainted cinematic vision. Quite why this was allowed to happen, and why directorsThis is a crass, and wholly avoidable attempt didn’t just bemoan the meddling hands ofto recoup the crass mismanagement with their despotic studio bosses in the numerousthe current industry, as every label chases interview opportunities open to them, is athe increasingly irrelevant and ever shrinking mystery. teen market with super-expensive multimil- lion dollar videos that actually cost more per unless… they agreed to mercilessly exploitminute than most blockbusters, advertising the consumer by presenting, at a later date,the fake breasts of supposedly attractive previously unseen footage. That’s right.mannequins miming along to songs they What you saw and paid for the first time,don’t like, don’t write and don’t understand in wasn’t the whole film, just a diluted greatestan attempt to push themselves ever further hits version, sanitised by the millionaires inup the ladder of infamy and celebrity cinema command. Surely then, now that the oppor-premiere guest lists. And Johnny Public tunity has arisen, we should see the film asfunds it when Joe and Jo Record Label picks it was meant to be, for free? We’ve alreadythe wrong pretty boy to pour money into. paid the money, invested the time, seen the film already. So give us the ‘proper version’Even the biggest bands are not immune. U2, fought their record company, and for free. REM found every one of their early albumsreleases will be priced at a reasonableApart”. The Manics Generation Terrorists repackaged with a myriad of bonus songs,£9.99. Maybe missing a CD-Rom video andbeing closed by the furious “Motown Junk”. Oh no, see it again, firstly at your local mul-generally crap quality live recordings, gaffat-a crap demo version of a song you don’t likeOr Nirvana’s Nevermind finishing on a unre- tiplex where the projectionist can’t be both-aped on the end. U2 fought tooth and nail,anyway. But relatively speaking a bargain,leased breakneck punkrock demo “Pay To ered to get the picture just right, and thenyet lost, to their record company who insist-and containing the album the way it wasPlay” instead of the elegiac “Something In again on overpriced DVD – where we selled on adding a second-rate soundtrack con-meant to be heard, without any crap remixesThe Way”. Special Edition Means More you your memories again at a higher price –tribution to their album. If this is the biggestor extra trimmings to tempt the mindless andMusic. Fuck Off. Special Editions Means Get or on a crappily re-edited VHS in the ‘pan-n-band in the world, what hope do the smallerthe dumb. Ripped Off. Be Like Zak Off Grange Hill. Just scan’ format with some, but not all, extrabands in the world have of their artistic free- Say No. footage tacked on the end haphazardly, per-dom to create good music? None. Bands areStill don’t get it? Fine. Imagine Joy Division’s haps in a box set, with some dog tags and aforced to release records they don’t likeCloser – the ultimate nihilistic album of theMark Reed fake diary. For a nice large price tag. because they owe money to their label,edge of suicide – being closed, in England which has squander a fortune on drugged uponly, by the jaunty pop of “Love Will Tear us Stand up, Reservoir Dogs. The Abyss.PR’s and pretty gay boys trying to commod- Aliens. Terminator 2. Sixth Sense.ify music like ice cream to school children. Of Ghostbusters. Fight Club. Matrix. Titanic.course, the general public aren’t that clever. Star Wars. The Empire Strikes Back. ReturnSome suck up to such tactics, like the lucky, Of The Jedi. Blade Runner. JFK. Naturalgrateful punters they are. Others see Born Killers. Pulp Fiction. Trainspotting. Truethrough such soulless exploitation and burn Romance. CDR’s.

For those of us, unable, or unwilling toSo stand up the following, all of whom have reduce the pool of cinematic memories toreleased “Special Edition” albums, whereby whatever the DVD manufacturers see fit towe pay twice for the same music to line the legitimise in a Stalinist revisionism of history,coffers of the corrupt. Limp Biskit. u2. Moby. we are reduced instead to looking at copy-Texas. Kelis. Pet Shop Boys. Ronan protected (i.e. finite lifespan) cheap video-Keating, Blink 182 (probably). INXS. tape with a whole host of castrated ‘fea-Morrissey. Blur. Suede. Stereophonics. New tures’. In order to push the DVD players andOrder. Leftfield. Henry Rollins. The Wonder the Saddam sponsored Playstation2 VHS isStuff. Alabama 3, who released their second slowly being edged out of the market. Whilstalbum containing a hit single off their first the quality of VHS is somewhat lacking, it isalbum, which you should own anyway, bolt- somewhat frustrating to have to repurchaseed onto the end. No One Is Fax Exempt. your entire collection of films every few years when a new format is released andGenerally speaking, the material released inevitably, lose some unprofitable master-on these CD’s is sub b-side fodder. Crap pieces as martyrs to the cause. remixes they can’t farm out on bargain singles, boring reheated live material and other But how does fit in with the new, and repug-leftovers scraped off the studio floor and nant, “Special Edition Means More Music”reprocessed like meat. Maybe, if you’re lucky, some CD-ROM material of a crap video in a grainy tiny window and a boring interview with an inarticulate moronic musician. It’s not worth the entry fee. Occasionally, this stuff is, if we’re lucky, released the first week so that those of us who actually look forward to buying records, might get a little extra – if we like paying more. Often though, as the album slides off the charts, like a desperate man clinging to the side of a sinking ship for a little longer, it is reissued months later with ‘exclusive’ material to revitalise it through the sad devo- tion of music fans.

What can be added. Special Edition means that we are being exploited by businessmen to fund their own mistakes. Go down the road, boycott your HMV, and find your local Grey Market importer. There the latest REM, repackaged for the people A Short Story 12 01/02/01 Partingby Stan Richards Another sheet of rain hurled itselfof his mind, making him think oth-no matter what he did; like thinking from the sky at Dave as he walkederwise. of all the great times they had and across the hill that campus was There were other thingswhat made him love her, he could- built upon. Almost impossibly theas well. Little things, which at onen’t stop his feelings slipping away. rain got heavier, as if the cloudstime had reassured Dave of her That’s why he was slowly had decided to compete to seelove for him, but had now fadedwalking across the hill in the pour- which of them could drop theaway. She always used to pinching rain to end something that he greatest amount of water in thehis arse at the most embarrassingreally didn’t want to end. That was least time possible.times, giggling like a maniac as herthe root of his problem; he knew Understandably, Dave had nothand snapped back when he wentthat he didn’t love her anymore, seen anyone else out. He occa-to gently swipe it away. The waybut he had moments where the sionally heard the distant splash-she always managed to sneak afeelings flooded back into him and ing of someone running throughkiss into every conversation, seri-he wondered why his feelings had the storm, but he had not seen aous or not. Just the way she usedfaded in the first place. But these soul this evening. to hug him whenever he was doingsoon passed leaving him confused Dave made his way slow-anything, her arms snaking aroundas to how he actually felt about ly across campus, watching thehis waist and up to his chest whileher. This left him with the only sen- light dance in the puddles as heher head moved onto his shoulder.sible choice, he had to leave her, it walked by. Even though it was All these things had nowwas the only fair thing to do. Heopened her window. the silence that had followed him raining hard and he was gettingdied away, leaving him feelingdidn’t want to hurt her or himself by ‘What are you doing?grow deafening. soaked, he still walked. He didn’tinsecure and helpless to do any-staying in a relationship that wasYou’re getting soaked you fool! ‘Why?’ particularly want to reach his desti-thing about it. Maybe it was justdying on its knees. Come inside!’ she smiled at himThere was another awkward nation. He knew that when he gotthe way their relationship had pro- The introduction ofand her eyes lit up like stars. pause. there, it would be difficult to talk togressed or maybe her love for himBeverley into the situation didn’t Dave walked down the ‘I don’t love you anymore. her about the things he wanted tohad faded, withered and died andhelp either. She was his best friendstairs to her flat’s front door, eachIt just got too hard and the things talk about. She had such a hold onshe couldn’t bring herself to admitand confidant, and she had turnedstep echoing with the anxiety ofthat we had have died. All that’s him; that he knew it would be hardit to his face. He wasn’t sure andto him and said that she thoughtwhat was about to happen. Whenkeeping us together is the habit of to break. this insecurity scared the hell outshe was falling in love with him.he reached the front door a fewbeing together. It’ll make us resent Dave had been going outof him. They had bumped into each othermoments later, Kelly was there,and hate each other if we don’t with Kelly for… well ever since She’d never once saidin the union in the early hours of aleaning against the open door,break up. We’ve just got to admit they were at Uni, three years in all.that she loved him, Dave neverSaturday morning a couple ofsmiling. to ourselves that we’ve run our Ever since that night at the end ofsaid it much himself, but sheweeks ago, they were both very ‘Hey darling, what arenatural course and that’s it. As Freshers week, when they finallyalways refused to say it on thedrunk and she had turned to himdoing out tonight? Why didn’t youhard as it is to admit, we’ve got to got it together, after a week of thegrounds that she said that heand just said it, sobering himring to tell me you were cominggo our separate ways.’ most blatant flirting ever. In thoseshould already know. But he wasinstantly. Ever since that night, heover?’ ‘Is there somebody else?’ days their relationship had beennever that sure. It stayed at thehad found himself wondering ‘I err… couldn’t get ‘No, god no, Of course wild and intense, and had beenback of his mind and plucked at hisabout the possibility of just beingthrough’ there isn’t. You should know me much the same until recently, theconscious at inappropriate times.with Beverley. He was never quiteHe leaned forward to kiss her, outbetter than that. In fact I can’t passion and the turbulence calm- All these little things stucksure of the other feelings that wereof force of habit, but she backedbelieve that you thought I would do ing down and settling into a lan-in his head like needles, erodingdeveloping for her, sometimes itaway from him. that. What does it matter now, any- guid complacency. the very feelings he had for herseemed to him that he was falling ‘Urrgh! Keep away fromway.’ Things had changed. Ataway, washing them away as eas-for her, just so it gave him anme! You’re all wet! Come on we’ll ‘I’m sorry, I just needed to first, Kelly had always been ecstat-ily as the dirt from his hands. It hadexcuse, no, a reason for splittingget you dry.’ know.’ ic to see him, even if it was onlysurprised him how fast it hadwith Kelly. But then sometimes itHe followed her down the corridor ‘I still care for you enough briefly. There was always thisoccurred, almost as fast as he felldidn’t, and these feelings that wereinto her room, where she handednot to do that to you.’ brightness in her eyes that hefor her in the beginning. He hadrising inside him were a naturalhim his towel that he kept there. ‘So what are we going to loved. But it had gradually fadedtried to stop himself, but no mattercourse of events leading to a fatedHe took of his jacket and started todo?’ until he hardly noticed it. Now, shehow much he tried, he invariablyend. dry his hair. There was a long and awkward always seemed pleased to seefound out that falling out of love This, combined with the ‘Kell, Do you love me?’silence after she said this, both of him, but the absence of that bright-could happen just as easily asthings that had been happening ‘Why did you ask thatthem looking at each other trying ness always squatted at the backfalling in love. It annoyed him thatwith Kelly, made Dave constantlywhen you already know theto find something to make it less wonder whether he was doing theanswer?’ uncomfortable than it was. Dave right thing or not. It had been play- ‘Just, for once, tell me’was the first person to speak. ing on his mind for just over a ‘You I know that I only say ‘Look, I think I best go; week and he had reached its cul-it occasionally so it means morethere’s nothing else I can say mination twenty minutes ago. Sowhen I do say it’ tonight. I don’t think we can say now he was finally going to act on ‘You’ve never once toldmuch else’ this conclusion. me, Kelly’ Kelly looked up at him, tears were He was nearly at Kelly’s ‘What do you want me tostreaming down her face. block and the rain was easingsay, Dave? I love you. There I’ve ‘Don’t leave me, Dave, slightly, but it didn’t matter now. Hesaid it and it’s meant nothing.not now.’ had reached the point where heHappy now?’ ‘I have to Kelly, It wouldn’t could see into her room. NothingThis made him stop for a second;be fair otherwise’ voyeuristic or anything, it was ait wasn’t what he was expecting. thing of there’s. Whenever KellyThere was an awkward pause. She walked him as far as the front knew that he was coming over, she ‘No Kelly, I’m not. I don’tdoor where they hugged awkward- used to wait at her window for him,know what to do anymore.’ ly before he stepped back out into just to see him come down the ‘What do you mean youthe night. It had been easier than steps towards her block. She useddon’t know what to do anymore?’he thought it would be, which wor- to rest her chin on her hands as ‘About us Kelly, I don’tried him. (Was it ever meant to be she leant on the sill; they alwaysknow what to do about us; it’s justeasy?) used to watch each other as hegot too hard to do anything any- It was still raining hard walked down the steps towardsmore. I feel completely helplesswhen he got out into the night, the her block. Now it was different, sheand alone and I don’t know what towind had picked up making the didn’t know he was coming and hedo.’ noise of the rain get louder and could see her through a gap in her ‘What are you trying tosofter at random intervals. He curtains. She was on the phone,say?’ walked back up the steps contem- and laughing at something, herDave didn’t answer at first; he wasplating what had happened tonight hand was covering her mouth asscared at how much he might hurtand what was going to happen she giggled away at something.her by saying those six little words.next. At the top he turned round to Dave stood and just looked at her.He tried to think of a way of cush-look at her window one last time, She looked so beautiful when sheioning the blow of what he wasshe was stood there watching him laughed; she always looked beau-about to tell her but he couldn’tleave. Even from this distance he tiful. He stood there just looking atthink and the words just tumbledcould tell that she was still crying. her, contemplating what he wasout of his mouth. They looked at each other for what about to do, getting soaked. It was ‘I think we should breakseemed like the rest of the night, then she put the phone down,up’ and then he just turned and disap- looked out the window and sawShe just stared at him for whatpeared round the corner. him stood at the corner. Sheseemed like an eternity, just letting Sabbatical Interviews 01/02/01 13

The Wareham Interview USSU then the decision would rest in the hands The Westwell Files of the Arts & Entertainment Committee" by Luke Hickey by Ali Danby Student Union relations with Senate House are often strained to say the least but Fiona radiates There's something about Fiona Wareham that Briefly outline what your sabbatical pride when she describes the current one as "fan- position involves. suggests she's going somewhere. As a perfecttastic". "It's great that there is such a good rela- professional she exuberates so much confidence Anything and everything! I deal with tionship, it gives us a voice and helps change students who have grievances, com- that even if you disagree with what she says, youthings we don't like, but we are still 100% behind can't help but respect her. plaints or problems with their course. I students." am a voice for students who have prob- It has been just over seven months into the job Despite all the negative aspects to the job, for the Union President and so far she is happy lems they need help with and don't Fiona has still loved every minute of it and looks know who to turn to. Welfare issues I with her progress. "It's gone well so far, thoughforward to being able to reflect on all the memo- slightly up and down sometimes. Nothing pre- have to deal with are such things as ries. "The best part of the job is that I can interact NUS campaigns and meningitis aware- pares you for the job, even being Unionwith loads of different people: staff, students, Chairperson. The job is much more like real life ness. I also organise the training of locals and businesspeople." She said how she senior residents. Basically I am a than many people realize, you have your onereally loved the experience of working on bf for month change over with last year's sabbs, but on friendly face with an open door. the first couple of weeks. "I would like to still be the 1st July is entirely over to you." involved but there is an editorial team, so it's up to Two months into her reign saw one of the worst What have been some of the high- them really. I had a personal problem with a cou- Student safety around campus must lights of the year so far in your job? months any president in living memory has had tople of articles and wouldn't have let them through be one of your main concerns. How face. A perfect catch-22 situation where the union It was very satisfying when the senior if I was editor but we do realize that it is a paper are you trying to improve the situa- residents training went well and of were on the verge of bankruptcy and thereforefor the students and as such wide ranging views tion? needed every penny it could get against the course knocking down beer prices was should be accommodated." Street lighting on campus , especial- obviously a highlight. Just being able to protests over the high drink prices. "After the rel-So to the future, and Fiona has still many goals ly over Yorkies Bridge has been atively quiet period of July and August, make a difference is great. she wishes to attain. "I want to continue rebuilding improved with help from the local bor- September was by far the hardest I have had tothe commercial side of the union with Bob; it had ough council. This should deter any face in the job. We (the sabbs) spent most of our What have been the worst experi- got to a low point before I started. Bob is a fan- potential attackers and reassure stu- ences so far? time solving these various problems, and a greattastic asset; we really work well together. I hope to dents that they are safe. Security have deal of this was helped by employing Bob Long hours! There is a continuous continue with the working parties for long-term printed leaflets to make students aware pile of paper on my desk to get through (Anderson - USSU Interim General Manager). Bystrategies and are soon going to be initiating of how to be safe and are available to October the situation was a great deal healthier and never enough hours in the day to some community action projects with Susie all students now. I also make sure that do it all. The job was hard at first and we managed to temporarily drop the price of(Westwell) and Anna (Stone). I also want to work the minibuses run smoothly to and from Carling to £1 a pint as a thank you for the loyalty because there was such a negative with the library to sort out opening hours and work Cindy's and Hazel farm. feeling about the union. students showed us." towards long-term structures for the union. My The £1 a pint didn't last for ever and eventually one main goal is that no future years of sabbs are What problems have you come up Do you ever regret becoming a sab- the price went back up to £1.59, a fact which var-put in the same position as we were at the begin- against in your job so far? ious posters around campus made reference to. batical officer? ning of the year." It's frustrating when tasks that have "Good luck to them," she says with a wry smile, Never, its the best thing I've ever done!required a lot of time and effort go "They're right the price of Carling is now more unnoticed. Trying to lower beer prices expensive than just before Christmas. However, You often hear people say that beingwas hard as there were lots of hurdles the price drop was only short term and I'm proud a sabbatical officer is not a properto get over but we succeeded in the that draught products across the board are now job. How much work do you have toend. I have to remember that it is cheaper than when I came to university do? impossible to please everyone. (September 1997)." I sit on 15 committees which takes up Another problem facing the president in an awful lot of my time as I have to readWhat qualities have you gained from September was that B*Witched were booked to the notes before each meeting. Mostdoing the job so far? appear at the week 3 FNO, traditionally one of the things I do I do off my own back likeI have become much better at public busiest of the year with large numbers of freshers campaigns and helping with rag week.speaking and have found the confi- wanting their first big experience of the union. The You make the job what it is. You coulddence to voice my opinion. Being a event flopped, with only about 600 students pay- do the bare minimum or you could worksabbatical officer has definitely made ing the £13 to see the Irish quartet. "That was 90 hours a week, it just depends howme more ambitious and has helped me nothing to do with me, the band were booked by motivated you are. I might get 10 stu-to decide that I would like to work with my predecessor (Ben Davis). I don't think I would dents coming to me with problem inpeople and not have a mundane office ever book a band for any future academic year; it one week and have to research andjob when I leave here. has to be up to the people in charge at the time. deal with each one which takes a lot of If any big named band now wished to come to time and effort. The Marston Files than last year. Some people are under the misconceptionOne of your mani- that you need to be part of some elite to write for the paperfesto aims was to pro- by Tom Sugarmanbut this is not the case at all. Any student can write for themote the university paper. To encourage participation in student media I havewithin the local com- What initially appealed to you about the Communicationoffered people the chance to write an article for the end ofmunity. What have & Marketing sabbatical position? semester magazine. I'd advise the next editor of BF simplyyou done to achieve It evolved from writing for Barefacts really. I'd written arti-to talk to people and be seen around campus to encouragethis pledge? cles for BF in the 1st year & in the 2nd year I became Music involvement. There has been a lot Editor. I also enjoyed the production and lay up side. I was of progress in building 'No Wave' chairperson for 2 years and so had experience of One of your manifesto aims was to produce a semesterup relations with local organising and administering a society. I progressively gotmagazine for placement students. What has delayed thecommunity. more involved in university affairs and I began to attend stu- launch of this publication? Commercial relations dent council meetings. I really love life at Surrey so I thoughtUnfortunately, due to a lack of finance it hasn't been pos-have developed with as a sabb I could make a worthwhile contribution. sible to publish a semester magazine for placement stu-Gateway and the dents. As an alternative I've introduced regular e-mail bul-Odeon cinema. Particularly good relations have been fos- Relations between certain societies & Barefacts haven't letins and information through the USSU website. I havetered with the Odeon, where listings are a regular feature of always been harmonious. Would you in hindsight haveencouraged, through this, placement students to give me aBarearts and whose special events have been a BF feature edited or pulled any articles e.g. those that provoked the mailing address for them to receive Sab' election forms. such as last year's London Film Festival tour. fury of the C.U? I was going to hold a talk at Guildford College about No, but such decisions are difficult. For example, as long You aimed in your manifesto to create GU2 radio sta-Newspaper production and editing but this unfortunately as no laws are broken and the union constitution is upheld,tion. What have been the problems that have delayedcoincided with the 1000th edition of BF and has been post- the editorial board, that is myself, Luke Hickey (dep ed) and the launch of GU2? poned. the section ed would run the article. However, clearly someThe delayed launch of GU2 has arisen from the take-over opinion pieces may provoke an extreme response such as of the company that was due to install the aerials. Not sur-Finally, would you recommend becoming the article on Christianity but there were Christians on theprisingly money, once again, has also been a factor in theCommunication and Marketing sabbatical to your fellow editorial board who thought the article should run. delay but rest assured GU2 will launch in February! students? What I think is most important though is the right to reply Yes, I'd certainly recommend being Communication and either for readers with contradictory opinions or for the orig- You aimed in your manifesto to generate more unionMarketing sabbatical to anyone who really loves the Union inal author to further justify his opinions. There have beenparticipation especially from minority interests. To whatand student life. It is very time consuming and can be very some articles though that have been pulled, notably one on extent have you been successful in achieving this? tiring. It is good fun but like all jobs there are frustrating days. security. I haven't been as successful as I would have wished. IBarefacts forms a big part of the job which entails plenty of would have liked regular contributions from internationaltime sat in front of the computer. Because you become so Does it disappoint you the lack of people interested instudents. Some people have said they would contribute butinvolved with union life it can be difficult to have a life outside contributing to BF. What advice would you give the next this has not materialised. However, there has been somethe Union. However, the reason anyone stands for a sab- BF editor in encouraging contribution, especially as onesuccesses such as the LGB article before Xmas and therebatical's job in the first place is because they want to make of your manifesto aims was to generate participation in have been some successful International student societiesa positive contribution to the Union so this shouldn't be a student media? events e.g. the recent Hellenic Society event at the HRB.problem. I wouldn't say I'm disappointed as BF has more writers Sabbatical Interviews cont 14 01/02/01 The Big The Lucy Andrews Mac Files File by Chops by James Buller

Ben has been Lucy Andrews's is your girl the Vice for any activities relating to President for societies and improving the Sports for the culture around campus. She last one and a was the first to take the new half years having Societies & Culture been re-elected Sabbatical position when nearly a year elected last year. Her pleas- ago. Having ant and strongly pragmatic been involved approach came across in the with Sabbatical answers to her interview: team (being quick, clipped and to the good friends with point. Tom Sherwin (VP She began by recalling her Communications desire at the start of the year: 1998-1999) ) "make some people happy, before his first keep the good work done so year, he had a far and take it further. good idea of Freshers Fair was cool" she what is involved beamed. so things have been much asinvolved in this fateful error).Now she feels the Union's expected. The reason that it took a while tosocieties are "multitudinous, Although he is prevented fromthink of this is that he is usuallysociable, fun and active."policy. Maybe we couldness and commercial law standing for a third year by theable to correct mistakes with fix-Culture is also "thriving, var-replace it with a 'diversityknowledge too." constitution, he would do so if ittures before they become a prob-ied and multinational". Shestatement', like some otherLucy describes her working was allowed. This is because helem. proudly said that nine interna-places do". "I've also got toenvironment with the other has enjoyed his time hereWhen asked if there is anyonetional, departmental and gen-organise two more inductionSabbaticals as "stressful yet although he feels the pay is notdecent lined up for the job nexteral societies have beenprograms for the new intakesociable while still at each enough due to the amount ofyear he says that there is butformed since September.of postgraduates and nurses"other's throats!" "Hopefully extra time that is spent over thedoes not elaborate any further in"There's a lot of activity in theshe continued. All this is writ-we'll be passing on a better and above that contracted inorder to prevent influencing thePostgraduate Associationten on her large 'Done' andship this time" she said, refer- order to get everything done. Ifupcoming elections. too" she added. "I got an'To Do' lists hanging over herring to the financial crises the he was paid by the hour heHis top tip for whoever gets inexcellent review from them.desk. team has had to deal with this would be a happy man. is to argue lots and prepare toThey gave a me a fluffy star to So much for the achieve-year. He currently has no plans forhave no personal time giving thesay thanks for helping them."ments, how about Lucy her- What next then for the the future and is not consideringexample that he had been help-Thinking of the otherself? Why did she originallywoman who wore THAT being involved in any repeats ofing people move out of sewageSabbaticals she said, "Wewant the Sabbatical job? "Inurse's outfit at Fetish Night? the streaking that the Rugbyflooded accommodation in thealso jumped into help RAGhad been involved with the"I'd absolutely love to do it Club inflicted on everyone at theearly hours of Saturday. because there was only aUnion since my 1st year," sheover again!" she cried. "I Colours Ball a couple of yearsIn the next year Ben would likecouple of people involved".said. "I'd always chatted towould want to take another ago. to see Surrey teams win a fewPresently Lucy is occupiedpeople a lot and been socia-sabbatical year but I just can't Ben’s best achievement wasmore trophies as he has seenwith organising one of theble in the Union mould." "Iafford it! I want to stay in keeping sport afloat last yearthe teams built up over the lastUnion's biggest culturalthink I brought continuity toGuildford. It feels like home while most of the rest of thefew years and believes they areevents. "A successfulthe job, an open door and anafter being here for 4 years." union was up shit creek. Whilestrong enough. International Week will makeorganised filing system. I also "I'll get done all the things I other areas were overdrawn, the Within the next ten years heme a happy bunny," she said.made the office colourful andwanted to do" Lucy conclud- sports budgets came in at aboutwould like to get lots of moneyShe is also finalising the newfilled it with fluffy toys!" ed. Indeed with her practical £5000 into the green. (by any means) and spend it all'Music Society'. "We're cutting "Doing the job I've learntand organised methods After a long think, he decidedon himself. Sounds like a gooddown from over 8 budget lineshow to do a million things attogether with her very that his worst mistake wasplan to me. and sounds to 3" sheonce, as well as making workamenable personality, it is agreeing to have B*Witched onOn behalf of everyone who hasexplained. for myself. I reckon my geog-very hard to doubt that asser- in the Union last year (it shouldbeen involved in sport for the lastIn her remaining 5 monthsraphy has improved alongtion. be noted that Ben would notcouple of years I would like toLucy hopes to "investigate thewith my people and memory have been the only personthank Ben for all his work withUnion's equal opportunitiesskills. I now have more busi-

The MacKenzie Report aside, I asked Luke what the other by Reuben Thompsonachievements he thought most important of the first half of his tenure, and It’s fair to say that USSU finance sab-what we could look forward to before batical Luke Mackenzie didn’t pick thethe end of the year. “Well, we got GU2 easiest of years in which to take on theits funding in three months after more finance job. Last year’s deficit of overthan four years of fuss. And hopefully two hundred thousand pounds left himthe structure for the funding of societies in an almost impossible position at theand clubs will improve greatly. That and beginning of this year. “My biggestwe now have reports out in one week— achievement”, he tells us, “is that thethat was down to the whole sabatical union will survive this year financially”.team though.” But despite this, does he enjoy the job?Finally, I asked Luke what he thought “Of course! It’s hard work, but it’s worthhe had gained so far from his job here in it” the union. “Well, I’ve gained experience Asked what the hardest part of his jobpersonally, and hopefully am now more was he replied “The 24x7 access is theemployable as a result. I went for this hardest part. Take last night[the night ofjob not only because I wanted to do it, the sewage problem in Guildford Court]but also because there were things I as a prime example. I was up almost allwanted to change about the union. I night sorting accomodation for students.think I can do that.” The job has two parts— the finance part, and being a sabbatical in general.” Responsibilities and necessities containing barefacts history, how it all begun, & music of the past 33 years bf history 16 01/02/01 Barefacts - The Wonder Years by Ali Danby & Ellen van Keulen have faced common problems, not in the Archivists least the lack of campus news and lack of students to report what little there is. The The first edition of Barefacts as we knowsubmission of articles to Barefacts has it was a flimsy piece of paper that was cre-always been a stumbling block. In 1989 it ated in September 1968. From then onwas boasted that “most of the articles are Barefacts has never looked back and hasnow sent by electronic mail, although some continued to flourish! people still suffer from ‘computer fright’ and The ideal that is Barefacts was actuallyinsist on sending stuff through on tatty bits conceived in April 1968 by students at theof paper” and nothings changed! Battersea site. When the University split intoIt wasn’t however until 1993 that the posi- two sites and half the students moved totion of communications officer was created. Guildford production continued in the formUntil this time Barefacts was edited by des- of two separate papers. However theperate students who had to try and squeeze Battersea paper only managed a feeble twoin writing, editing and laying up between lec- issues before collapsing. tures. At the time the readers were assured Barefacts hasn’t always been the way wethat the content of the paper would not be know it now, in fact in the late 60s early 70saffected by the regulation of a union sabbat- Barefacts could have been mistaken for aical. top shelf blue magazine. The first nude pic-Barefacts has not always been loved in ture to appear on the cover was seen infact readers were encouraged to put their issue 33 and a mere two issues latercopy of the paper in the “bins in the union Barefacts was nearly sued by Playboy forand all court receptions”. It was later dis- publishing cartoons taken from their publi-covered that this was promoted by cation. This wasn’t the only controversyBarefacts in order to get readers to recycle created by Barefacts that year. Issue 36the paper and should only take place after contained an article about quality, or lack ofyou had read it. it, of the food in the newly opened libraryThe last entry in our review of the wonder restaurant, now known as Rushes. Thisyears of Barefacts is the note worthy occur- caused such a hullabaloo that the staffrence of the change in size and style of the walked out. Unfortunately nothing’spaper. Before 1997 Barefacts was an A4 changed. sized mag compared with today’s informa- By 1973 Barefacts was a staggering 12tive tabloid newspaper. Barefacts has pages with a circulation of 2,300. Much toevolved from a single one page flimsy the despair of the male members of the cur-newssheet to the current, well-established rent editorial team, full frontal nudes had to16-20-page student newspaper that it is be removed in order to fall in line with Uniontoday. However Barefacts can only contin- policy. Two years later it was voted by theue to go from strength to strength with your GM that Barefacts should be run by anhelp and support, so please keep reading elected editorial board. and if you fancy it bloody well write some- Over the years all editors of Barefactsthing too! 01/02/01 bf old news 17 Have we got old news for you?

Have we got old news for you? … well actually yes we have

So here's a round up of the best stories from the last 1000 issues, the highs the lows, the scandal and the propaganda.

Britain's First Amateur Herbs For You Satellite Bare Facts Bare Facts Issue 189 Issue 345 26/04/74 16/02/79 An article about a selection of herbs Britain's first amateur space satellite grown in the university grounds describ- is to be built at the University of ing the characteristics of common gar- Surrey. den herbs and their uses. The range of herbs grown for public use were bay, The project is being co-ordinated by sage, parsley, lavender, rue, heart- the Telecommunications Research sease, mint, verbena, and rosemary. Group within the Department of Electronic and Electrical A definitive guide to weed growing, not Engineering. It is being carried out in close collaboration with the University's Electronics and Amateur Radio Society (EARS), the Amateur Satellite Organization of the UK (AMSAT-UK) and the Radio Society of Great Britain. Active support is being given by Britain's electronics, telecommunications and space industries.

AMSAT has been responsible for 8 previous amateur satellites in the OSCAR series (Orbiting Satellites Carrying Amateur Radio). These have been built internationally by radio amateurs in the USA, Germany, Canada, Japan and Australia, and their function has been to relay VHF and UHF radio signals, extending the range of trans- missions by amateur radio enthusiasts. Each has been given a "Piggy Back" launch by NASA when space was available in launch vehicles, because of their educational value.

The spacecraft, which will be constructed mostly at the University, is intended for a polar orbit at a height of 900km. The cost is expected to be around £150 000.

It's dull but its history

Shop Committee Meeting Bare facts Issue 157 04/05/73

Price check on Tesco and the university shop. Over the years Barefacts has changed dramactically in its views of student life, with it’s political stances, and in its tastes Uni shop Tesco of the unusual. Barefacts has always found its own niche in the newspaper Weetabix, small 9p 8 world though, with articles like the Millbank Tapes. The article Cornflakes 10 9 written by the Editor at the time, Matthew Pannel, exposed the ½ lb Anchor butter 12 ½ 11 ½ fact that the Labour spokesperson at a recent student journal- Bourbon biscuits 9 (5 ½) 7 ist conference before the general election of that year (1998) Digestive biscuits 7 (5 ½) 6 briefed students that they would not have to pay tuition fees. Marmite, small 10 9 All kinds of articles have graced the pages of Barefacts over Colgate toothpaste 14 13 the years, some of them being displayed below. Barefacts Potatoes, 3 lbs 7 6 even had its own art pages (see left). Tin peas, 10 oz 5 ½ 5 If you want to look at any of the old barefacts just pop into Ariel 26 25 the office. Nescafe, 2 oz 17 16 Eggs, std/large 15/16 14/15 Compiled by Ali Danby & Ellen van Keulen Baked beans, 7 ½ oz 5 (4) 4

What the hell were they complaining about?

bf music reflection 20 01/02/01 Musical Union Rob Winder takes a look at thedebut album with some Yardbirdspened. After two or four songs,Folk Club. The Union continued to coverage of music in the firstsongs and a 'blistering' cover ofreports vary, Stranglers frontmanhost popular shows: 1000 issues of Barefacts andWillie Dixon's "I Can't Quit YouHugh Cornwell asked if the audienceMenswear;Heather Nova; Salad; picks some highlights of gigs atBaby". The bands self-pennedwas from Guildford or from theAppollo 440 - Barefacts reports that the Union and recommends an"Communication Breakdown" andUniversity. When it became obviousthey left the crowd 'cold'; Fluke and album from each year since the"How Many More Times" werethat very few of the crowd were fromLush. The return of the Senseless paper was founded. picked as highlights of the show.Guildford the band walked off, butThings in February 95 had queues Page was obviously the attractiononly after Hugh said his piece:around the building and was a rap- Students at Surrey are fortunate tofor the audience yet 'seasoned ses-'Guildford University never repre-turously received show. have a weekly publication that keepssion musician John Paul Jones pro-sented Guildford. We hate playing toIn 95-96 Alan Duthie Roy became them informed about the activities invided solid bass and keyboardelitist audiences, so fuck off'. Thethe Ents sabbatical, by his second the Union. As with many Universitiesduties while lesser knowns RobertBBC did not show the film until itssemester in the job the Union pre- the Student's Union is the centre ofPlant (vocals) and John BonhamSounds of the Seventies series insented a good line-up of bands: musical life at the University, and(drums) both added their unique and1992. At the Union GM the followingGomez, Ocean Colour Scene, 60 Ft over the years this has certainlyimpressive styles to the group'sweek a motion was heard to banDolls, Baby Bird, China Drum, Jesus been the case for Surrey. sound'. The unknown writerThe Stranglers from the Union andJones and Jocasta. Since its early issues as a newslet-summed up the show with an accu-ask other Unions to do the same.No-Wave were fortunate enough to ter, Barefacts has informed studentsrate prediction, 'judging from theThe BBC arranged a replacementpresent Kula Shaker in February 96, about the varied musical events inreaction of the young crowd, most ofshow in February 1979 with thejust before Chris Evans picked up on the Union. More in depth coveragethem Surrey University students,Average White Band. the band and they exploded to suc- of music in Barefacts has been spo-Led Zeppelin seems to be on theThe punk era also saw Daily Mailcess. radic over the years. Until the 80sright track and may just be the nextlike knee-jerk outrage in theIn 96-97 the Ents sabbatical posi- the'Guildford musical content of Barefacts wasBritish music export to enjoy intern a-BarefactsUniversit letters page at punktion was dropped and replacedy by little more than previews of shows attional success'. antics. After a Skids show there hadthe Ents manager, with Alan contin- the Union and reviews of the records been some vandalism on campusuing the job he had started as a from artists performing in the Union.Late 60s / Early 70s which was blamed on 'punks' attend-sabb the year before. Interviewed in There have been attempts to devel-David Bowie played two shows ating the show. It is notable howeverBarefacts at the time he said there op a more complete music section inthe Union. The first at the Guildfordthat further vandalism occurred overwould always be a place on stage at thenever paper over the years, but theyArts Festival in March 69represente as part ofthe following weeks when therethe Union for his favourited band - never came to fruition until Steeeevethe mime troupe Feathers. One yearwere no punk shows. David Devant and His Spirit Wife. French took over as music editor inlater Bowie took time out from hisAlso making headlines in 79 wasThey have played here several 1994. Steeeeve is probably respon-'new electric band' The Hype to per-the Metal for Muthas tour in May,times since. sible for starting the music sectionform a solo show at the Union.which featured up and comingOne of the first gigs under the new as we now know it, and began itsTickets were 10 Shillings (50p). NWOBHM acts Samson, Ironregime was from former- transformation into one of the mostIn June 70 the Barefacts preview ofMaiden and Toad the Wet Sprockett.Wonderstuff frontman Miles Hunt's popularGuildford. sections of the paper. Thethe Free Festival described a 'local We newhat band Vent 414. Their sub-Pixiees changes which Steeeeve brought ingroup of progressive style - bothLivin' in the 80s wannabe-grunge was not well were not without problems: followinglight and heavy music' that wasThe free Sunday night band shows,received by the audience. an article which gave a less thanscheduled to appear as the secondwhich started in the 70s, ran along-The 96-97 academic year saw the favourable account of Universityband of the day. There are noside the paid entry shows. The FolkFolk Club change its name to band Redwood, the band took phys-reports as to whether Genesisand Jazz Clubs continued to presentUnplugged - a few years late for the ical action to let Steeeeve know theyturned up or not. shows and were joined in the eight-MTV inspired name to have rele- wereplaying not happy. to elitisvance, the name changed againt this The Free Festival was a regular fix-ies by No-Wave, Soul Club and the Fortunately, things have beenture on the Ents calendar. Usually inBlues and Rock societies. More thanyear to Live. smoother for music editors sincelate June, after exams, the festivalsever live music was apart of campusIn recent years a couple of the then; it is far easier to dismiss anwere a day long showcase for locallife. Sunday night bands have gone onto irate press officer on the phone thanand campus bands. A variety of famous and not-sogreater success: Moloko and the to face the band in person. In the early seventies the Folk Clubfamous names passed across theDum Dums. Maybe last weeks' audiences,Looking back through Barefacts, itwas also attracting big names toUnion stageso in the eighties :Dimestarsfuc will be the next.k is obvious that in the past the Unioncampus. Richard Thompson andMarillion; The Men They Couldn't used to be one of the main stop offLinda Peters, who later married,Hang; Dr and the Medics; TheNo Future? points for artists as they toured theleading lights of the British folkHigsons led Charlie Higson who UK. Bands have performed under Recent years have seen the decline scene performed a couple of times.went on to fame and fortune in theof the free Sunday night band. In the the Union banner in the Hall, theAs did Gordon Giltrap, EwanFast Show;The Pogues; Eddie and main Union room and the lower bar past bands appeared every Sunday MacColl, Ralph McTell, Christythe Hot Roads; The Christians sup-night, now it seems that there are asoff'. well as in the campus amphith Hughe-Moore and Jasper Carrot, whos eCornwell.ported by Danny Wilson; The Mighty more Sunday's without bands. atre. performance was filmed by the BBCLemon Drops; Cutting Crew - a Over the years the Union has pre- Sunday bands always used to have but never shown. show of which BareFacts noted 'atsupport bands, but this has not been sented some of the all time biggestIt was not just the leading folkleast the 14 year olds enjoyed it'; names in music to artists who could the case in recent years. There are artists of the time, the list of progres-The Mission; King Kurt; Robynletters in Barefacts from people well have been forgotten a weeksive rock acts that performed at theHitchcock and the Egyptians; The after they played here. complaining when support bands Union reads like a who's who of theLevellers, firstly as a Sunday Nightfailed to appear and the perennial genre: Caravan, supported byBans and then returning for a paidproblem of gig attendances also The New Yardbirds Hawkwind, Gentle Giant, Van Derentry show; The Shamen; the Houseraises its head from time to time. At the time of the early BarefactsGraaf Generator supported byof Love and China Crisis. In 89 RightMany of the bands that played the issues in 1968, progressive rock,Lindisfarne, Gong, Magma andSaid Fred performed theirUnion for a free Sunday show later folk and jazz were the offerings onBarclay James Harvest. 'Proclaimers-like' songs. This wasreturned with a larger crowd for paid the musical menu. The 71-72 academic year startedbefore their kitsch make-over andshows. Recently there has also In October 1968 (people seem towith a bang when The Who per-chart success. They returned to thebeen a total eradication of paid gigs disagree on the exact date, but theformed. BareFacts mentioned theuniversity in 96. at the Union. 15th is the likeliest choice), one ofgig taking place but little more, The lack of bands appearing is is the Union's most famous gigs tookindeed the show does not appear onEnd of a Century certainly not for a lack of bands look- place when Jimmy Page's 'new'The Who's web concert listingAs the 90s started the Jazz club hading for venues - there are now con- Yardbirds, having completed a briefdespite their being photographs ofdisappeared but the other clubs keptsiderably less venues in the country. Scandinavian tour, performed for thethe event in existence. supporting live music alongside theThe problem appears to come from first time under the name with which Union Ents. the students-only policy that prevails they became infamous - LedPunk vs Elitists January 90 saw No-Wave presentin the Union which makes the venue Zeppelin. By 1978 punk has shaken the musica sold out Ride show in the lowerless attractive to bands. It is notable It is not known what BareFacts hadbusiness to its core. On 11 Octoberbar. Bare facts reported that therethat gigs in the 70s and 80s gigs at to say about the show as someone1978, the most infamous incident inwere 'people trying to get in throughthe Union were open to non-stu- has foolishly lost part of the archive,the history of music at the Unionthe windows'. Later that year thedents and were often well attended. however, reports from the time sug-occurred. The Stranglers wereManic Street Preachers supportedThe Union was a regular stop off gest 'Led Zeppelin played to anbooked to play the Union by thelong-forgotten, crusty-types Ruffpoint for up and coming bands as enthusiastic crowd that at firstBBC as part of its Rock Goes ToRuff and Ready. The Manicswell as more established acts as it seemed a little overwhelmed by theCollege series. The band had beenreturned early in 91 supported bywas, and is, the only venue of its sheer volume the four members pro-assured that half the tickets for theDodgy. size in the area. duce while onstage'. The bandshow were made available to theirBy the mid-90s the only societies mixed songs from their forthcomingfans in town. This had not hap-putting on bands were No-Wave and Past Editors Interviews 01/02/01 21 Past Editor Interviews Ever wondered how bf has changed over theName: Melanie Dean (editor 1996-1997) editor meetings once a week to discuss themes. Most of the years, well we have, and three of the old content was left up to them; it was their paper and that left me Age: 27 time to concentrate on getting some advertising for the paper. fogies in the team (Kev, Luke and James) went out in search of answers by interviewingJob(s) had since leaving Surrey?One year as AssistantWhat other successes did you have as a sabbatical (rather four previous editors. Media Consultant for Royal Economic Society writing pressthan as BF editor)?We had a demonstration/strike day organ- releases and organising conferences. Two and a half years atised by Sharon Baker (President) to highlight our ‘unhappiness’ Unilever working in Market Research on Flora and now on PGabout the introduction of tuition fees. All days we had events Name: Trish Horwood (editor 1980-1981) Tips running in the union and we had the local radio and TV interview us. Age: 39 Did BF help you get the job(s) or guide you towards it? Helped me with my first job but it was my degree that got meHow has BF changed since your first year up to the pres- Job(s) since leaving Surrey: Bummed around France for ainto market research ent day, and do you approve of the changes?‘Manoj says year, then spent 6 years working for publishers, 4 for a psy- Bollox’ was the first headline I remember reading. BF was mas- chologist publisher and 2 for academic publishers. Took a num-How has the BF experience and skills you gained from itsive; everyone picked up their copy Friday morning and read it ber of years off to have children and is now, with her husband,helped you since?Managing budgets, people, meeting tightin the lecture – even if it was only to find out the gossip in the running her own business, a fax and internet service for cardeadlines. Negotiating with people, in particular, more seniorpersonals manufacturers colleagues. The high level of responsibility at the Students’ Union helped me get promotion into my current role Where should BF go now?I am as guilty as any of the Did bf help you in getting any jobs? Definitely, bf got me the Communications Officers for trying to put my mark on the first job. At the time there was a deep depression and most stu-What was your favourite/best/worst story? Favourite arti-paper. At the end of the day it is the students’ paper and must dents were struggling to get a job after graduating. My experi-cles were the ones by Liz M reflect their ideals and values. ence with bf gave me that something extra which made me more employable. What stories could you not print at the time (why?) but thatWhy did you want to become BF editor?It was a bet with a you could hint at now?Did print an article on drugs and howfriend that I think I won! I really enjoyed reading the paper and What was your favorite story? There was a large number ofto use them safely but I had a mixed response to the article.wanted an opportunity to contribute, something I hadn’t done as big issues during my time on the paper. The campus was aWhy some people thought it was helpful others thought BF wasa student great deal more political then, with around two thirds being con-promoting the use of drugs – that was not its intention servative in persuasion. Rents had risen alarmingly and there What do you feel you brought to the position?Fresh/con- was a student sit-in protest, which eventually won the day.How would you describe BF when you first joined (eithertroversial ideas. Money There were also large-scale gay rights demonstrations. Sounder your predecessor or as a writer)? Newsworthy paper overall I didn’t have one favorite story, instead I was luckyconcentrating on hard facts and student issues. The BF teamWhat skills + experience did you have before taking the enough to have many very good topics that we could cover.had been working together for some time so I was able to learnposition (including BF experience, if any)? a lot from the current working team No BF experience. I had worked in marketing at Tesco for my Were there any stories that you could not print at the time industrial year so I had some ideas about how I could sell but would have liked you? We tried not to give anybody out-What did you want to achieve with BF during your year andadvertising space to the local community. I had also worked for side the bf team any editorial control. This was generally donedid you succeed? I set myself a target to make the paper selfa summer at a graphics design company so I had some expe- by printing the paper before anybody outside the team couldfunding within 3 years. The paper was given a budget from therience of design. read it. Back in those days, however, we (students) werestudents’ union and I felt that by making it financially independ- expected to be radical and could get away with more than youent students would be able to see it as a student paper ratherDid you lack any skill or experience, what effect did that can today. than a students’ union paper. Also it meant that the moneyhave and how did you deal with it?I had the summer to learn saved could be ploughed back into the union and used for otherthe software needed to design the paper and the NUS provid- What did you achieve in bf over your editorial reign? Ithings. By the end of my year I had increased advertising rev-ed an induction and media conference where I learnt skills on fought long and hard to bring the paper up to the times.enue by 30% to ensure that BF only spent £10,000 of thehow to run the paper. Eventually I got a word processor, a godsend at the time as£16,500 budget. I discussed my ideas with my successor, Matt, before we were doing everything manually. and he was keen to continue with the target. I don’t how thingsHow and why were you elected?‘VOTE MEL DEAN SHE’S have gone since! WELL KEEN!’ Wasn’t this enough? I had enormous amounts of How would you describe your bf? We had a team of about enthusiasm to do this job and a great deal of support from fifteen, including three whose sole role was to be printers. I alsoHow would you describe BF at the end of your year? Muchfriends. My campaign team helped me loads during the run up had about three reporters, a theatre critic, sports reporters andmore of a magazine with articles on student life, activities andto the election and I worked really hard by going and talking to typists. We used to walk round campus at 2am on amusic and less on news. Really good music and sports pagesdifferent clubs and societies and explaining to them why I Wednesday morning delivering the papers by hand and somethat the editors worked really hard on over the year. A few of thethought I would be the best candidate for the job. people used to come along for that on its own. old crew stayed on which was great. The music editor set up a team of writers behind him which worked really well Would you want to take the position again if in your final How did bf change over your time at Surrey Uni? The paper year now?Absolutely, I learnt so much and made loads of new changed in its style, with more of an emphsis being placed onWas there anything that you could not achieve in yourfriends. Also it has really helped me with my career, when I what students were interested in reading, which basicallyyear, why not?A weekly paper meant that deadlines werestarted the role I was told that it would take me 10 years in meant putting in more campus news. As editor I just tried toalways tight. I would have liked more time to work on more inemployment to have the level of responsibility I had as a sabb. make the paper as widely readable as possible, perhaps andepth articles While this is probably true my sabb year has helped move my attempt to work against apathy. With the depression, I also tried career forward. to devote some space to careers. What was the best/worst crisis/cock-up/typo during your year?My computer crashed at 11.30pm on Wednesday nightThe old BF office was also a general communal area where Were there any stories which the university or union reallyas I was printing the final version to take to the printers in thesomething was always happening. How did this atmos- objected? We ran a story about how the accommodation officemorning, I lost a whole weeks work and didn’t see any way Iphere affect your job? Was it good or bad?I liked the gen- was really badly run, and how the rents were too high. The uni-could redo it in time. I cancelled the paper for the week witheral buzz round the office. When I was Communications Officer versity hated that one. huge apologies to the students. I got severely slated at the GMpart of the office was occupied by Job Shop and part by the that week about not working through the night to get the paperClubs and Societies. There were always people in and out of How did you get your news? We just had feelers out for sto-out but it was not possible, my computer hard drive had to bethe office and I think people felt very comfortable about just ries, people regularly asking all the departments, Senaterewritten! The positive thing that came out of this was that mywalking into the office for a chat or to talk about something for House, security and students. There was very little happeningPC got upgraded and I was able to buy a new software pack-the paper. that we didn’t know about. age that meant the design of the paper could be improved. Do you have any messages for todays and next year’s BF What made you want to become editor? I really enjoyedHow did you balance BF vs. Union vs. University alle-editor?Good luck and enjoy yourself! It is important to gain working on the paper and enjoyed writing. The chance to takegiances (e.g. sensitive stories and time spent working onsupport from the freshers at the fair; you will need their contri- the role came up and I fancied it, a case of the right place theBF)?I was very keen to make sure it was a students’ paper andbutions at the end of the year when the old writers are off doing right time. not a union paper. My only restriction was to make sure it was-their finals! It is good to put your mark on the paper but think n’t liable – anything else I felt should be printed. On the wholeabout having long-term targets that the following sabbs will What skills do you feel you brought to the role? I felt I wasthe other sabbs agreed with what I did however it is a shamecarry on. a great motivator of people, the most important skill an editorthat the majority of these types of articles highlighted the nega- by Kevin Marston can bring. tive rather than positive aspects of life at Surrey.

What was you specialty as a reporter? I was very good atHow did you get content for BF?Recruited loads of students political reporting, either nationally, in the union, at lectures. Iat freshers fair and refreshers fair. Many people just sent in ad was good at getting information. hoc work which was great, getting fresh voices and opinions kept the paper interesting. by Luke Hickey How did you want the editorial team to work - and did it? The subeditors had a team of writers behind them and we had Past Editor Interviews 22 01/02/01 Name: Andy Blair (editor 1999-2000)Were there any stories you could notideas and willingness to help out. print? There were none that we couldn’t Would you run for the job again if you Age: 23 print but there was one about a universityWhat was your biggest failure as editor?were in your final year now? Definitely, I professor who filled a case against the uni-Probably that we didn’t have enough moneywould still go for it, even if I had no chance Job(s) since leaving Surrey: MD of Sevenversity for unfair dismissal. We interview theto make the second edition of 5XH (theof winning. Stone Media Ltd. Marketing Officer of UniS.professor, and printed his side of the story,semesterly magazine now known as Interim Manager of UniS while the case was in court. The universityPhased) at the end of the Spring Semester.Other than editor, which was your spe- was furious; we probably shouldn’t haveBasically we had only budgeted enoughcialist area of the paper? I would probably Did bf help you get the jobs or guide youprinted it. There was also a letter that I wishmoney for 12 pages of bf every week buthave wanted to be in the Marketing team of towards it? Absolutely, being editor of bfI hadn’t published, somebody wrote in com-produced 24, so ran out of money early.bf. gave me knowledge of stuff I didn’t haveplaining about certain sections of the paper.Instead of the mag. We did produce a big bf before and is the kind of knowledge that isMost section editors read it and decided toat the end of the year. Do you have any messages for the cur- sought after. If nothing else, it looks reallywrite a response, one of which was particu- rent bf editor and his successor? Kev’s good on your c.v. larly vicious and signed ‘a disgruntled edi-How did you balance bf Vs Union Vsdone well; he has kept the good parts and tor’; everybody thought this meant me. ThenUniversity? I saw bf as a triangular tool; theimproved the bad parts. Campus news has What was your best story? I had quite athe original author threatened to take us tovoice of students, the voice of the union andcertainly got a lot better. Bf now provides few; the main one was the resignation ofthe PCA (Press Complaints Authority) buta pressure tool on the university (while stillwhat is needed, information about the uni- Marcus Meyers (Marcus was VP for Financefortunately accepted our apology. acknowledging the good things about theversity, campus, the union and students. So and Development last year but resigned in university. my message for Kev is keep up the good January). It was the first time any sabb hadDid you achieve all you set out to achieve work. For next year’s editor, just bring in resigned and was a very difficult subject toduring the year? Absolutely everything,How did you get your news? Mainlysome more fresh blood and new ideas but broach in bf. On the one hand I was the edi-before I joined bf was lacking a semblancethrough reading the Surrey Advertiser, look-before you change anything ask why it was tor of bf and had to carry the story, on theof current news, so I tried to build up thating at the BBC website, speaking to peoplelike that originally. other hand I was a fellow sabb. There wassection and ended up getting pages 1-3 ason campus and ringing the Senate by Luke Hickey. also the Anniversary of the Guildford Parknews. We also turned bf from 12 pages to 24Marketing Department. bombing and breaking the story of the Unionpages with the help of Kev (current editor) going down the pan financially. working on barearts. This corresponded toOutside of bf, what was your greatest the number of section editors increasing tosuccess as a sabb? In a way, that’s not for What was your worst story?There wasabout 10 from 4. me to judge but I think that as the first ever only one really bad story, the one we ran VP Comms & Marketing, I did well. I think it during rag week. We had taken a photo ear-Was there anything you didn’t achievewas rebranding the Union to its current lier in the year and there was somethingbut would have liked to? At the end of theorange logo, making it more professional strange at the top of the image, could haveyear, the newspaper was established but inand semi-corporate. been a UFO. Anyway, we sent the photo offneed of fresh blood that I believe it got this to the Ministry of Defense and they told us ityear and the layout has improved immense-How was it first going into the job? was nothing, so we ran the story in rag weekly this year. Nobody realizes how little you know when about a UFO sighted in Guildford. you first go into the job. I lacked general Everybody thought we were serious and IHow did you get on with the rest of the bfexperience, I was fairly weak on websites got a fair amount of abuse. team? The team was great, always willing toand graphics but I am lucky that I am a quick learn new techniques and fantastic withlearner.

Name: Matt Panell We found the students that hadwhen you need information. It’sthin air. cle in. (editor 1996/7) lived with him both before andcounterproductive in the long run. Mel had spent her whole year after the vacation - ‘Shock As Hmmm. It is a bit tame isn’t it?!getting enough money for comput-So describe BF at the end of You are remembered very fond-Housemates Realise Man In NextI’m sure we’ve had some moreer equipment and a print budgetyour year? ly by many of those who workedBedroom Is Murderer’. It was ahot-blooded Editors since then! so we could go tabloid. I thenMaybe it wasn’t as strong at the with you on Barefacts, any ideagreat story but we had to tone it enjoyed the benefits of that. If sheend as it was half way through; the why? down because so many peopleWhat’s your view of BF in thehadn’t been there then BF in myyear saps your energy. We kept up Everyone has their individualwere upset about it. They said Ipast? year would probably have beenthe changes and improvements quirks. So maybe if these peoplewas unashamedly enjoying having In the 70’s it was a politicalprinted on the back of beer mats!though. We brought colour in at were news hounds I can see howa real crime to write about. debating forum about free loveWe would have run out of money.the end of the year. The circulation they might come to think that. ButThere were a lot of people fromand the Vietnam War. There were was up too. Mel Dean had commercialnational and region newspapersmore rows between locals, uni andWhat did you want to achieve The colour was remarkable. It strengths that no one else hashounding the students so westudent organisations during thewith BF during your year? Didwas different from every other matched. Tom Sherwen did a lotspent more time trying to keep80’s. you succeed? newspaper. Flesh tones came out more for the role ofthem off than we did writing aboutNow the focus isn’t so much on When I first became involvedday glow pink and grass was like Communications Officer than Iit ourselves, which was a shame.those. I thought that a news agen-with BF, I felt that given a studentgreen highlighter pen! I saw the could ever have. Its nice to know da and good features was whatbody as big as ours, with all its tal-first edition and put my sunglasses but I’m sure there are those thatWas the right thing to do? people would be more interestedents and resources, we shouldn’ton. Jeff, the technical guru said would dispute that. Well it certainly scuppered myin. That’s quite intensive though, itbe turning out something that‘wot you complaining about, it’s career in the tabloid press! takes up a lot of time. looked like a village newsletter.coler init?”It was quite psychedel- What was the best/funniestIts a tricky thing because as a Although it didn’t read like that andic. story you ran? Sabbatical and an Editor its asDescribe BF when you becameit was very well managed, stu- Definitely the Labour party slip-much your duty to look after theEditor? dents deserved a proper tabloid. The BF team was great. Sarah ping up. They told student Editorsstudents who elected you and to As a team it was great. As aI’ve got this thing: ‘if its going to be Giles as Secretary was brilliant. before the 1997 election that theymanage external media relations,paper it was quite weak. That’scalled a newspaper, its got to look We had Andrew Thomas and Rob didn’t intend to introduce tuitionas it is to write the newspaper. Ifbecause Surrey is a science uni.like a newspaper, and come off on Winder doing music, James Buller fees. It was only BF that picked itthose two roles had been separateAt Nottingham for example stu-your hands’. as News Ed, Jeff Blackman han- up when they did just that. As suchthen it certainly would have beendents do English and journalism.I wanted to focus the paper ondling the technical side, Justine BF was mentioned in parliamenteasier They have to take part in the stu-news, make it more of a newspa-Beavis was our commercial expert and the national papers. dent paper to impress employers.per. Whether that’s what the read-while John Dear did politics. Loads It was good because I was soYou seemed to be rather cau-My predecessor was Mel Dean.ership wanted I’ll never know, but Iof people helped out including cross with the way the press con-tious with those kind of stories.She was a perky, chirpy girl andthink yes that was the direction thePhoto Soc. developing pictures at ference had been reported by theNot wanting to upset anyone?would often use strong languagepaper took. midnight. At the end of the year I other papers. It riled me so I wasWell maybe on the face of it yes.and short sentences to describe Going tabloid was another stepwas very pleased with that little pleased to even things up a bit.However we did put people whoher feelings. An Editorial would beto becoming a credible newspa-gang, it was very focused. We made a big thing of it. ‘The purported to have the right to con-all about how someone barged inper. It was something that could beSome of the quieter members of Millbank Tapes’with a photographtrol the paper in their place. Forfront of her in the queue at Toppicked up by people outside of unithe Editorial team would come out of cassettes on the front page, asexample some Senate HouseShop. and be taken seriously. It looked,with some quite sensible views if it was Watergate. It was nice tobods dragged up an old agree-The thing I liked most about Melfelt and read more like a newspa-too. I wanted to run a front page play at being a proper newspaper.ment signed by a former Presidentwas her attitude. When peopleper. about the VC’s salary. One girl A funny story was when signsaying they could vet the paper. Ididn’t contribute she said, ‘This is The only downside is that peoplesaid ‘why bother. No one cares? writers wrote ‘Motorycle Parking’explained that it was no longera student paper. If the students are a bit more intimidated by that.It’s not money out of their pockets. on the tarmac outside the library!applicable. aren’t going to write, then I’m bug-They feel that to write in a news-Who gives toss?’I said ‘are you I think I can safely say that wegered if I am either!’One issuepaper you have to have some spe-completely mad? Everyone’s furi- What scandal could you notnever pulled or edited a letterfamously came out with a blankcial ability, which isn’t true. Youous about it’. We duly ran the story print at the time but that youunless we had been advised thatpage except for a bit in the centre:don’t have to be Charles Dickens.and afterwards there was not a could hint at now? we could be sued for printing it.‘Nobody’s bloody written anything I mean god knows none of us weresingle squeak from anyone! It Scandal?! I wish! We’d have Maybe we were a bit cautiousfor this page so it’s blank. I’m off to eh?! We couldn’t bloody spell!dawned on me that no one did printed it! but there’s being over cautiousBo’s from Mel’. I could never havePeople ought to have realised!give a toss. It’s important to listen There was the Guildford guy whoand deliberately baiting the Uniondone that but I admired her forThat’s the biggest challenge to allto all the team. was convicted of murdering some-or Senate, creating a pointless rowdoing it. I’m sure it made a couplestudent Editors. Convincing peo- one during the summer holidays.just for a bit of controversy. Itof people think and realise that theple that you don’t have to be partContinued on page 23 doesn’t actually get you anywherepaper doesn’t just appear out ofof some special club to put an arti- Past Editor Interviews 01/02/01 23

I used to love seeing people reading the The President has a nightmare job, whenWhat did you bring to the Editor posi-Where should BF go now? paper, talking about it, laughing at it. Usuallyan Editor is beating his chest declaring inde-tion? I would always say that it should be rooted they’d be pointing and shouting ‘which f*ing pendence and running stuff that’s goingEnergy! I’d always fancied it too. The firstas a newspaper, but something tells me that cretin wrote that. He can’t spell!’ damage the Union. That’s what they dothing I did when I arrive at Surrey was wentmodern students are less and less interested One week a guy pursued me all aroundthough, it’s their job to be embroiled in politi-to see BF Editor. in that. In just the same way as the Union is campus because I’d left out his letter. Hecal rows. It’s the Editor’s job to cause them! perceived less and less as a democratic stu- even jumped in my van at one point ranting The President doesn’t have Editorial con-What skills + experience did you havedent run organisation and more as a service about how I’d ruined his rights. But the goodtrol over the paper but is in charge of thebefore becoming Editor? provider - food and drinks etc. Even before thing was that he felt passionately aboutorganisation that publishes it. Therefore ifI could write relatively well. I could also per-my year people were seeing the paper in the what his paper said and what it stood for. Ofsomeone takes us to court it’s the writer,suade people of things. I’m fairly level head-same way. ‘The Union provides it, we read course I put his letter in the next week andprinter, Editor and publisher who are respon-ed I’ll sit and think about calmly. If you panicit’. People couldn’t get it into their head they he wrote again later. There was pleasuresible. The President has a duty to protect thewhen someone comes in and hurls abusewere supposed to write it and read it, that the even in that because it showed peopleUnion. However allowing them to have athen you’ll spend your whole time having aUnion was meant to be the students. We cared. veto is bad. We got around it was by gettingheart attack. spent a lot of time trying to battle against that I think I left the paper in a really good statesomeone independent who was doing a law In my time I’d written news features andbut it’s a trend you can’t get around. of health. Students turned to it for education,degree to be libel lawyer for us. liased with people outside of the paper,I hope in years to come that will reverse information, amusement, and personals. WeOur Editor/Sabbatical arrangement is fairlyincluding some ITN correspondents and aagain. But at the moment the paper will have had TV and cinema listings. It was a refer-unique among Students’ Unions but worksreporter on the Surrey Advertiser. He thento evolve to what students want. For ence guide, ents. guide, news source and apretty well. It is dependent upon havingwrote really fair and accurate coverage ofinstance in Phased, the Christmas gifts forum for debate. It enabled the Union tostrong student writers and Editorial board.issues concerning students. ideas. If that had been submitted to the 70’s communicate its messages more effectively As for my job responsibilities the same Barefacts, it would have been unthinkable to the next year because it’s had a good read-thing goes. We had a weekly SabbaticalDid you lack any skill or experience?print it. It goes to show that the readership ership base. I think it looked better after memeeting. If it overran I’d have to say ‘I’ve gotWhat effect did that have and how did youand their demands change, So whether BF than it did in my first year but the content wasto start working on this weeks paper’. Otherdeal with it? wants or needs another news fanatic is always good throughout. Sabbaticals might see BF as 1 out of 10 ele-I took myself, the job and paper too seri-questionable. I would always say ‘yes’but I ments of your job, but for me it was the bulkously. It’s easy to loose perspective and for-don’t know if that’s what people want. What was the best/worst crisis/cock-of it. I’d have been a better Sabbatical if Iget that your writing something that only up/typo during your year? hadn’t been editing BF. And I’d have been a2000 people read. It’s easy to get carriedDo you have a message for today’s BF There were an awful lot. There were a cou-better Editor if I hadn’t been a Sabbatical.away and absorbed. I took a couple of holi-Editor? ple of typos that created obscene words byI’ve found you can get on with people whoday breaks and read other papers. That andKev, Keep your head down. Enjoy it. Give mistake! We often put in adverts upsideyou’re a deadly political opponent of. Thedrinking loads helped! us a ring if you want a job! down or sideways! Vice Chancellor for instance. He’d look at the Technical knowledge is usually lacking in Oh a really good one was the special edi-paper and say ‘What have you put in yournew Editors. You don’t realise the technicalAnd for next years Editor? tion for the election manifestos. We messedsqualid rag this week?’I’d say ‘Your pay rise skills you need to publish a newspaper and ifDevote time and effort to getting a team in at up the layout in such a way that it changedfatso!’He’d just mutter about it. He had ayou don’t have them then the job instantlythe start of the year. Cajole them, buy them the meaning of some candidates’ slogans! Ihouse with remote controlled metal blinds.becomes twice as hard. You can see how thedrinks whatever you have to do! came back into the office after distributingSo I used to call him Ernst Bloefelt! IT and design skills of all the EditorsDon’t get the paper or yourself dragged into them and was met with a firing squad. I got a improves over the year. I was really luckytoo many odd little disputes because they massive roasting! We had to reprint theHow did you get content for BF? having Jeff so I could spend time writing andjust waste time. whole edition, corrected the next week. Begged stole and borrowed! Most peoplephotographing, rather than swearing at theWhen you do get caught up in a dispute over People always used to write in aboutwho wrote during my year did it becausePC. When he wasn’t around that’s what I dida story that has caused a bit of controversy, spelling mistakes but they never learnt, wethey were threatened! That was always thethough. People used to come and check Iabsolutely stick to your guns. You’ve would just carry on regardless. When youbest way to get people to write. Either that orwas ok. They’d hear me through the walls,checked your facts, you’re backing your writing in a caffeine fuelled haze at 5 in thethey were writing in to complain about whatscreaming obscenities. writer and you know no one can sue you. morning there isn’t time to re-read stuff. EvenI’d written the previous week. They were Therefore if anyone has a problem don’t let if you could spell there was always a techni-usually more passionate! Would you want to be Editor again if inthem interfere with your Editorial judgement. cal gremlin that would ruin it for you. your final year now? You’re appointed by the students and there Your BF office was also a social area. Categorically yes! Definitely. Except Ifore you should only be able to be unap- How did you balance BF vs. Union vs.How did that affect your job? wouldn’t get so distracted by details andpointed by them. Remind anyone of that who University allegiances? It was a pain in way but at the same time itwould concentrate on a few main things. tries to bully you. With a lot of difficulty. That’s the trickiestmeant people would come in with half an The only trouble was you have to get the thing. You’re meeting, working and eatinghour to kill and write something. PeopleWhat do you think of BF since your time?story right in the first place. That’s where we with a group of people who if you were inde-would get themselves a cup of tea or more This year’s Phased is a terrific piece ofalways went wrong!! pendent, you may be criticising. So thereusually a pint of lager and do some gooddesign. It pisses over what I did for BF. was a tacit understanding between the mework. by James Buller and the other Sabbaticals, whereby if a People felt relaxed there because you writer decided to treat them robustly, theycould be surfing the net, doing some photos wouldn’t moan about it. They also had toor writing a story. It was a buffer zone accept that trained journalists don’t write thebetween the hacks down the corridor and paper and so articles may not get written‘normal’ people. If you make every inch of with the slant they desire. Given that naturalspace an office or a bar there’s no happy tension between the paper and the Union Imedium. think we did very well. There have been years when it went badly wrong. Age now? I stated at the start of my year ‘the paper26 will not shy away from criticising the Union’. Someone said that the Sun would never crit-Job(s) had since leaving Surrey? icise Rupert Murdock. But the Sun’s Editor isJust the one, at Photosound, a design and appointed by the publisher and so tows thecommunications agency. I was a Project line. I said ‘that’s not the way it works.Coordinator and now I’m an Account Students elect their Editor to say what they Manger. want’. My line was always that if the EditorialDid BF help you get that job? Board voted on an issue, then that would go.I would definitely not have got the job with Elsewhere the Editor would have decided. Iout having done BF. It taught me writing, accepted that it was a student’s paper andpublishing, communications, and project that I was no longer a student, I was anmanagement. As Editor you’re responsible employee of the Union. The Editorial Boardfor managing the budget, suppliers, person- was, always quite balanced and thoughtful.nel, regulators, the powers that be and deal- They could have made my life hell but theying with all the flak. So in terms of manage- didn’t. ment skills it was very very useful. It’s the Editor’s job to make sure there is not going to be legal trouble with a decisionHow has the BF experience helped you made by the Editorial Board. If there is notsince? then he has to go and bat for his team. I gotI learnt how to get the best out of a group of a few roastings but was happy to say: ‘Ifpeople, to decide upon a stance and devel- someone wants to take legal action and wins op it. I’m sure I learnt that at BF. Also how to then I’ve made a boob, but if not then its convince people of things. Anytime we want- robust criticism’. ed to make a change to the funding or struc- I remember being summoned to discussture of the paper we had to get it approved BF with the President, General Manger andby Sabbaticals, Executive Committee and a Catering Manger. I said if it’s about BF thenStudent Council meeting. So you had to come to me. Unfortunately they refused so Iargue your case. had to go to them! Societies 24 01/02/01

RCS - the society formerly known as Robot Soc! Robot Society is evolving. We’reyou like) to compete. Anyway peo-include other forms of radio control changing our name and our focusple come and fight their robots,vehicles, we will now (if you show to hopefully get more of you inter-which must fit in a 4 inch cube andup!) be organising different events ested in joining. From now on weweigh 150g or less, right here onfor radio control cars, boats, aero- are going to be called the Radiocampus in the students union! Theplanes etc. So come along and Control Society or RCS for short.world series are held roughly everyget involved! 4 months so there is always some- What do we do you might ask?thing to be doing, like building newThe last Ant World Series - What Well we organise the ant worldrobots and improving our existinghappened? series for one thing, which is aones, so we can win the nextWell we entered two robots, but Robot Wars related event whereevent. did not do as well as we had people come from all over theSince the focus of the society ishoped. One of our robots was country (sort of a UK world series ifnow changing from just robots toslightly too heavy to compete and the other robot was eliminated early on after being picked on by two of the best robots in the competition, which proves it must have been a threat. One of these two A helping hand robots later went on to win the individual event. We did however dochains, weapon and armour beforeposters in February advertising well in the group battles and teamthe driver lost the battle by acci-this event. We hold meetings events, going on to win the halfdentally driving the robot off theweekly on Wednesdays in the hour long final battle whichedge of the arena. During this bat-union at 1pm upstairs by the involved all the robots which stilltle everyone was standing at leastarcade machines. You can contact worked, thrown into the arena at5 metres away from the arenathe Society at once. We did get a chance to runwearing safety glasses because [email protected] or by the overweight robot round as well,flying debris! turning up to a meeting. it fought against another overweight robot by the name of Plod.When and how can I getWritten by Graham Doe This was the most destructive bat-involved? (Chairman) and edited beyond all tle so far in the history of Ants. OurThe next Ant World Series will berecognition by Stephen Pearson Mini Robot Wars robot, which is armed with a high-in the union building on Sunday(Treasurer). speed saw, destroyed Plod’s drive25th February - look out for

laid up. I only stayed a couple of hours. In fact this process takes USSU’S VERY OWN ‘BLIND DATE’!! several hours, often only coming to an end in the small hours of the barefacts morning. I wrote up the competi-Valentine’s day will shortly be upon us once again, great if you have tions page and generally watched someone to share the romance with…..a bit of a non-event if you don’t. what was going on. There were Well no need to despair if you haven’t got a meal booked at that little by Rosie Burns how they managed to find suffi- Italian restaurant, or the trip to Paris isn’t quite happening this year, your cient stories for the paper eachstill interviews being conducted and articles written for inclusion in caring student’s Union is playing cupid by hosting its very own version of My barefacts ‘try it’ started onweek, and he explained that at that tv classic ‘Blind Date’ and it’s guaranteed to be a lorra, lorra fun Monday night, when I went alongtimes it can be quite difficult, asthat issue. I left the others to a long night and went off to (sorry, couldn’t resist). We are after volunteers to take part, not only to the weekly meeting attended bymajor stories can go unreported if could they win a fantastic date, they may also meet the girl/boy of their the main team. I arrived early, andnobody thinks to inform aChancellors. I would urge anyone to get involved in barefacts - they dreams. Bare Facts will meet up with the couples after their dates to find watched as Kev (Ed.) and Lukebarefacts contributor. out how they got on……… (Deputy Ed.) worked out how theyUnfortunately it appears thatare a very cool and friendly bunch of people. Perhaps the one thing were going to lay up the variousalthough barefacts is a valued part Entry is open to all (though the lack of a girl/boyfriend is kind of an articles for that week’s edition. Asof our student life, and the mainthat people don’t realise is the amount of work that goes into pro-essential), application forms can be obtained from the main union recep- the team arrived it struck me thatway in which many of us find out tion. So, come on and take part in what definitely promises to be a great there were not actually that manyabout events and news, throughducing the paper – now that I have seen it myself I might just appreci-night, and who knows who you may meet…… on the main team. The discussionno fault of its own not all major centred around the previoushappenings get covered. ate barefacts a little bit more. week’s issue, concentrating on areas that had worked well andThe following evening I went those which could be improved.along as the paper was actually Luke chaired the meeting, and the conversation was surprisingly frank but the team seemed to take both compliments and criticisms alike on board. The discussion moved onto the following week’s issue, of which several pages were to be devoted to articles produced by various participants of rag week. It was at this point that I realised perhaps just how difficult it can be to get stories. As a rule everything in the paper is produced by this relatively small group of people, aside from emails, advertisements and a few contributions from other members of the student body. I asked Luke

AGM’s EGM’s Wednesday 7th Feb Meetings Notices 1pm 43BC02

Stage Crew Hockey Sailing Club Union Exec Committee The Stag Hill Archers GM Monday11th February 2001 Tuesday 6th February Thursday 8th February will take place Saturday Monday11th February 2001 Tuesday 6th February Monday/Tuesday (week 4 will take place Saturday 6pm Helen Rose Bar 6pm Varsity 5pm GMR 10th Febuary, 10.30am, TB 6pm Helen Rose Bar 6pm Varsity tbctbc)) 10th Febuary, 10.30am, TB LTA Time TBC 12B Chem Eng Soc 01/02/01 Classic bf 25 OLDFAT& UGLY one in the town who was willing. More bizarre barefactsis just one of a multitude of stu-events included dent activities that has been going from“Emptying the Wey”, in strength to strength over a period ofwhich a human chain decades. In fact, the origins of many of thepassed buckets of water university’s multifarious clubs and societiesfrom the bridge at the are lost in the mists of time; historicalbottom of the High record-keeping is never foremost on theStreet all the way to the minds of a committee when dealing withtop; a “Mile of Pennies”; and a highly amus-http://www.folkcorp.co.uk/uos/ whose owneronce again a few years later when some- day-to-day business. ing lilo race in the Wey, which, given that thisrecently wrote to OFU, saying that the well-body realised that the two committees were It is generally believed that EARS is thewas in the middle of some impressive snow-known lion logo, that is still in use, datesidentical. Currently, the only distinction is oldest society; second only to this is Oscardrifts, was probably not particularly pleasantfrom 1972 - his sister drew it, apparently.that OFU is subsidised by USSU whereas Film Unit, the university’s film society. Infor the participants. It is also fortunate thatThe highlight of this website is the “UrbanUAC is supported by the University Arts common with barefacts, OFU has left athe students did not succeed in emptyingLegends” section which aims to list structur-Committee. treasure trove of information about universi-the river while their colleagues were pad-al (and personal) defects from around the Today, rumours abound on campus that ty life - in this case, in the form of an archivedling along it... The event was rounded offuniversity. Dubious claims such as the infa-OFU is dying a slow death and this is not of 16mm films shot by members of the soci-by a concert at the Guildford Civic featuringmous one about Guildford Court accidental-altogether untrue. Since the mid-1990s, ety. Deep Purple. ly being built to 2/3 scale hold a lot morewhen the Odeon moved from the top of town What follows is partially conjecture from 16mm film was used much more in thosewater when written by someone who wasto its current location, many students have the contents of these films and partly expla-days for teaching purposes, so much of theactually on campus when it was bright, shinypreferred to go there and OFU started mak- nation from OFU alumni that have been inarchive from this period of time consists ofand new. ing a loss almost immediately; however, contact with the society recently, mainlyinstructional films which are reminiscent ofFor the last decade or so, OFU has con-thanks to reserves of cash, it did not need through our new website atthe sort of Open University videos that youcentrated mainly on showing films ratherUnion assistance for some time afterwards. http://www.ofu.org.uk/. If anyone can correctinvariably used to record by accident whenthan making them. While the archive cannotAnother factor plaguing OFU at the moment any of the points mentioned in this article,trying to get the late-night film. The nexttell us for how long OFU has been showingis the cessation of 16mm film as an exhibi- OFU would be delighted to hear from you.OFU-made film of interest, however, datesfilms, we know that it is at least since thetion format, not to mention consistently low From the vintage of some of the archivedfrom the early 1970s and is called “Petermid-seventies, as we have a season ticketquality film prints. A major survey for USSU films, it is possible to see that OFU actuallyThe Cow”. It comprises a pantomime cowfrom this era which lists the films (mostlyabout two years ago showed that fewer than predates the university. The oldest film ofwandering around campus, including intoawful, unfortunately) and also gives the10% of students have ever been to even a historical interest in the collection is a docu-lectures. This could have been made in con-location - Lecture Theatre D. Back then,single film showing. Rest assured, however, mentary made of RAG week 1967. This wasjunction with “COW”, or Charities Ownthere was a second film society on campus,that plans are afoot to save the society and in the very brief period after BatterseaWeek, a sort of rival to RAG with whom OFUcalled Stag Hill Film Club (or SHFC) whichrelaunch it into the next 35 years or so. OFU Polytechnic was granted its charter andapparently produced film projects. Ofwas the forerunner of today’s University Artsstill shows films - see barefactsweekly for became the University of Surrey yet was stillcourse, Peter The Cow is mostly interestingCinema (UAC). details - and meanwhile, if you fancy making based in Battersea, as the campus here inthese days for its views of the campus as itSomewhere along the line, SHFC starteda film (that is, real film, not video) then get in Guildford was still under construction.was back then, including the Students’getting into financial difficulties, whereas atcontact with OFU by e-mailing oscarfilmu- Events of that particular RAG week includedUnion building and lecture theatres. Also ofthe time OFU was completely [email protected] as we are currently prepar- a carnival procession through the streets ofnote from this period is the film risibly knowning. In fact, OFU never received a grant froming to shoot a project later this month. London, which seemed mainly to consist ofas “The OFU Sex Film” which is, accordingthe Students’ Union until as recently asDavid “I’m making it up as I go along” Abbott partially-clad women gyrating on the backsto one of our current members, the “least1998. OFU was of lorries while blokes with suspicious facialerotic piece of pornography” he has seen intherefore in the hair waved collecting tins. his life. unique position of Two years later, another RAG documen- It seems that the early seventies weresubsidising tary shot around Guildford shows the townquite a prolific time for OFU’s film-makingSHFC for several and students in some detail. Many of theand there are such gems as “Enter Theyears until the shops in the High Street and North StreetNewt”, a spoof of “Enter The Dragon”, thattwo merged. are still present today; for example,was shot at The Manor House in GodalmingThen, in the Messingers (opposite TGI Friday’s) andwhich was, in days gone by, a student resi-eighties, the soci- even Sainsbury’s. Again, a carnival proces-dence. From a historical point of view, it isety devolved into sion was the central feature of the week,also interesting to note that the members ofOFU and UAC, with every society and even individual courtsOFU seemed, in general, to get involved inand also of residence providing competing floats. Theother student media - including Bare Factsswitched film pro- traditional RAG slave auction had an added(as it was then written) and PhotoSoc. Thusduction to some twist that simply would not be safe thesemany of the archive materials coincidevideo work, days: it took place on the steps of the churchbetween the different societies. One of thebefore eventually at the top of the High Street and involvedbest archives covering all of these societiesceasing altogeth- selling semi-naked female students to any-and more is ater. OFU and UAC were reunited SocItToMe Classics Railway Society (issue 159) Folk Club Events This Term (Issue 189)Hammersmith Bridge. The gig was very good but Carter were almost invisible behind their light rig. Will all members of the University please note that theMay 15th: Dave Ellis 25p on door I hope that some of you turned up to the "learn to DJ" ses- Society now has a notice board in the card room. Full detailsMay 22nd: Local Talent evening - 10p on door sion on Monday. If you did, and want to DJ to a proper No of future activities etc. will be shown on the board. May 29th: Marion Segal & friends - 25p in advance, 30p onWave crowd then come to the meetings on Thursday at 6 in Next meeting will be this Monday 21st at 7:30pm in lecturedoor the Barclay room. theatre E for illustrated talk on the Festiniog Railway by RoyJune 1st: FOLK FESTIVAL. For details see posters appear-Later on this term we have a band on Dec. 5th and we're Humphries also the E.G.M. All welcome. ing round site in the near future. probably Djing for Animal Welfare around then as well. I'm going to end now as I haven't got anything to say.

I.M.G (issue 159) Stag Hill Morris (Issue 179) Rock Club Header thingy (Issue 738) The International Marxist Group holds weekly discussionsStag Hill Morris is desperately short of FIRST YEAR MEN to every Wednesday on revolutionary politics. This week's dis-continue the Stag Hill traditions. Keep fit with the ConstantYo peeps again! We're still here! There WAS a meeting this cussion will be on Stalinism and Trotskyism and will be heldBilly! Slurp beer with the Squire and the Bagman! You canweek and lots of things happened, there will be a disco in in the Conference Rooms in Union House at 4:00pm All wel-gain the admiration of thousands, with STAG HILL MORRISRag Week (WEEK SEVEN) and hopefully there was a come as seen on T.V. disco/band this week which is bound to have been a success…cough, cough…Flappy in minibus-test-shock! Keep off the roads today!!…Iain is now officially power- crazed. If you have any ideas for records to complete our Lost Property (issue 129) OFU (Issue 738) ear-grinding (not really, honest) record collection then come to the next meeting at the bar, Thursday at 7pm. And listen Lost property will be auctioned in the Students' UnionThe trip to see Carter last Thursday was enjoyed by all whoto the RADIO SHOW on Thursday nights from 9 till 11 on Lounge on Thursday 15th June at 1:00pm went, one of the highlights was the precarious journey overGCR!! Does anyone want to see a main hall band?? Rag Week 26 01/02/01 Rag Photo Special Throughout the week there have been various promotions to support and raise money for the rag charities. Therefore without further a do here are some photos of the events. First up in the week was Shave Shaggy where the ever beautiful Ali and Sven that bloke from behind the bar took part in the shearing of the Shaggy.

HAIRTEC (01483) 440414 24 Madrid Road

Reduced prices for Students Tuesday’s - Friday’s inclusive

Lloyds Chemist

Madrid The Astolat Road

xNewsagentApollo Rag Week 01/02/01 27

Also that night the annual beer drinking competition took place in the Students’ Union where all the contestants adhered to one rule, if you thrown up enough you haven’t drunk enough.

Friday night saw the return of the traffic light party but unfortunately some people got the total wrong end of the stick, naming no names...... Ofu & Website 28 01/02/01 FilmFilm RevieReviewwLovingly Scraping The Bottom TRAFFIC by Sariqa Wagley Of The Oil Barrel The sea is cold. Cold and wet, like the sensation of If you want something to watch this denim on skin after a hearty morning spent chopping week, I highly recommend Traffic, wood in autumn. Only more so. And, even apart from directed by Steven Soderbergh that, it's full of fish. In many ways, it could be argued (also directed Erin Brockovich) and that the decision taken by our distant ancestors to for- staring Catherine Zeta Jones, sake the aquatic lifestyle was a damn good idea. Michael Douglas, Dennis Quaid and Benicio Del Toro. The film is Down the ages of humanity, Thor Heyerdahl, based on the 1980’s Channel Four Jacques Cousteau, and Herman Melville have all mini series Traffik and was beaten contributed to the worldwide animosity mankind holds for best motion picture (by towards the sea. We're well out of that, humanity at Gladiator) at last weeks Golden large seemed to decide. We'd rather dine on premi- Globe Awards. um brands than shrimps, coral, and remoras. The film has three different plots all surrounding the same theme. Some people just never take a hint. Michael Douglasplays the role of a judge and leader of an anti-drugs So, in "Deep Blue Sea", a typically-dense group of campaign who discovers his daughter is a heroin addict and is forced research scientists are buggering about in the middle to face up to the drugs crises that is more closer to home. Catherine of the drink, hundreds of miles from anywhere, trying Zeta Joneswho is heavily pregnant in the film plays the wife of a drugs to find cures for brain dysfunctions. With the usual smuggler, who has to take control of business matters herself while her cabin-fever idiocy that bored scientists in isolated husband is in prison. The final plot is that of Benicio Del Toro, who research facilities seem particularly susceptible to, plays a Mexican cop, Javier Roderiguez, trying to battle the against the they decide to deform some sharks for kicks. By local drug cartels on the other side of the American border. All three enlarging the creatures' brains, they hope to... well, plots are great but the acting of Del Toro is by far the best and hence,do something or other. The exact idea behind this is it is not surprising that he picked up a Golden Globe for best support- never explained -presumably Pan Am baggage han- ing role in a motion picture last week. Del Toro, who played Fenster in dlers lost the suitcase with their Really The Usual Suspects, plays a more heroic, character with an agonised Expensive Microscope in, and they've had to resort to Deep Blue Sea conscience as well a cop with a heart and soul. using the backs of sporks to examine their test sub- The film has a strong plot and is set both in America and Mexico with jects. noir genre. heavy Spanish dialogue from Del Toro adding to the films authencity. Credit goes to Soderbergh who has turned this nearly forgotten British Anyway. That isn't important right now. What is impor-A young American writer arrives in Vienna shortly serial, into a artistic and riveting film with its off-beat techniques and tant is that their hapless experiment goes wrong, andafter the close of the Second World War with the most of all a well acted cast. This film is not to be missed. they find themselves confronted by a trio of intelligentintention of seeing an old friend, only to find that said sharks (sadly -not- christened Huey, Dewie andfriend has died in an automobile accident. Parts of Louie), who, yes it's true, lead an uprising. the story, however, don't seem to add up, and he starts to run an independent investigation into his An uprising. Led by sharks. Featuring LL Cool J. friend's demise - becoming further embroiled in the postwar Viennese underworld as he does so. As attentive readers may have guessed, "Deep Blue Sea" isn't exactly a po-mo take on "The Battleship"The Third Man" unwinds like a long nightmare, a plot Potemkin". It's more of a generic Dumb Summerthat's virtually sadistic in its outright refusal to identify Action Film (with parent object #3421, "The Abyss").a "good" or "bad" guy in this uncertain world not com- Were we to sit Jacques Cousteau down before "Deepposed of black and white, but many shades of grey. Blue Sea", we would probably have to lead him fromThe dreamlike tone of the movie's cinematography, the cinema in tears at the conclusion of the film. But,along with the infamously incongruous zither sound- somewhat fortunately for us, he's not returned ourtrack, only serve to add to the unsettling atmosphere. calls. A strange, dislocated world where characters some- What "Deep Blue Sea" is is a fast and genuinelyhow coexist within a moral vacuum, the Vienna of thrilling film. Lots of suspense, a satisfying amount of"The Third Man" is ruined, paranoia-ridden, and gore... and a supporting role from Samuel L Jackson.above all uncertain. Within this seething mass of Hey, at least it's not "Lake Placid"... ambiguities and tension, Orson Welles as Harry Lime moves serenely, sharklike, wholly within his element, OFU shall be showing "Deep Blue Sea" at OFU thishis performance crowning an already superb film. Sunday, at 8pm, in Lecture Theatre G. University Arts Cinema shall be screening Carol Meanwhile, University Arts Cinema this week isReed's "The Third Man" in Lecture Theatre G at 8pm, screening the 1949 Carol Reed classic, "The Thirdnext Wednesday. Man". Written by Graham Greene and starring Orson Welles, this film is an undisputed classic of the film[this week's OFU column written by Jean Baudrillard] 01/02/01 Computing Page 29

Intro Barefacts Pipe to the This area is aimed at all you students out there who spend lots of time twiddling your Gaming World thumbs (on analogue sticks!). Hopefully you will find the short articles of interest. I'm no [PLATFORM] 129 expert, but simply enjoy gaming. If anyone can contribute via the form of reviews, com- ments, letters etc...don't hesitate to send them to: [email protected] . Enjoy... PREVIEW

Extra Black & White To play a top PC game you need a top PC. If you don't own one and feel you are missingwww.lionhead.co.uk out then I strongly recommend you take a visit to Quarks, Guildford. Situated on 'JeffriesFormat: PC Passage', Quarks offers excellent services. Upstairs belongs to gamers. With top spec PCsDeveloper: Lionhead Studios you can take part in some serious madness. Recently, after tiring of Tiberian Sun, I asked the staff to promote a game to me. They did so with the style of a drug dealer (a harmlessRelease: Spring 2001 drug!) and my CounterStrike days began!! The frequency of my visits increased dramati- cally. I believe this game will send ripples through the gaming media in the coming months. Guildford based Lionhead Studios, led by the well-known Peter Molyneux, are set to FOCUS release a game that will raise standards. The gamer is cast into a world where they act the role of a god. Impressing humanoids with miracles will gather a following of which 'prayer power' can be gained to perform increasingly impressive magic (spells, tricks??). Starpeace Completing against rival gods for power you must control and raise your people with a www.starpeace.net degree of skill. The miracles are performed in a unique way. For example, to unleash a wall Format: PC of fire, the gamer must perform a circular movement with the mouse. The game will judge Publisher: Monte Cristo your accuracy and therefore how effective you are. There is more. At the start of the game Developer: Oceanus an animal will be born. You are to raise this animal, how you see suitable, by punishing and Release: Out Now awarding it. As it gets older it will be able to perform its own miracles. If you've been a bad parent you'll see your people getting eaten and buildings flattened as a monster evolves. Gaming online is the future. The space for thought is enormous. Imagine a world online, notInternet play is also supported with the added feature of being able to 'carry' your creature only an imaginary world, perhaps a recreation of the real world! Choose who you want tointo new games. Raise your pet well and be rewarded when battling out with human play- be and do what you want! Stroll through your hometown, bomb a few buildings, and leaveers! This game should make an impact. With imagination and new ideas becoming risky in (nobody gets hurt!). Well, perhaps today we don't have the technology to map the real worlda business that's becoming all about the money, hopefully Lionhead will do well with their into binary, but things are moving fast in the graphics department. PC processing powersfirst release. were predicted, by a former Intel chief, to double over a period of 18 months. Graphic power is now improving as much as eight times per year! So, taking a step back, we now come toREVIEW Starpeace. Looking at this isometric 2D sprite-based game you might be quick to criticise, but the point is Monte Cristo has its eyes on the big picture. At the moment, to log onto theSheep Starpeace universe will involve you in a massive multiplayer business sim. Create your ownFormat: PC / Playstation empire, do some deals, and make money to expand into a potential universal power con-Developer: Empire Interactive trolling planets of gamers. This core economic base is only the starting point. Monte CristoRelease: Out Now have an engine in development which will create a real-time, 3D environment, so walking around the virtual city will become possible. The first sub-game to be released will involve the gamer in criminal activities. Gather a few other players, for a price, and assassinateFor the benefit of Kev, who provided me with a demo CD, here is a review of sheep (Better your business rivals! Sounds good, but think even further and players could be piloting star-late than never!). Empire Interactive, previously known for its golf and simulation titles is ships in a war versus rival planets. There's still a lot of work to be done but ambition makestaking on a new genre. If fun, casual puzzle games catch your interest, such as the classic things happen. Keep your eyes on this one. Lemmings, then Sheep would be sure to entertain you. The object of the game is to suc- cessfully guide a flock of sheep through all sorts of bizarre obstacles, traps and puzzles. At Requirements: P133, 2Mb graphics card, 33Kbps the start you choose your shepherd, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, and then continue to herd your sheep through7 worlds to a UFO pickup point (Don't ask why!). NEWS To make things harder, there are 4 kinds of sheep, including metal heads, which have their own unique way of flocking. To start with this game is amusing and fun. The learning curve is short and saving all the sheep is a realistic target. As you reach the later levels, in my It is becoming common knowledge within the gaming world that if you want to make a game opinion, the game starts to become tedious. Taking turns with a mate to get to the next, you need big bucks. With an industry as big if not bigger than the film industry, developinglarger than before, level, is the only way to advance without becoming board. Overall it's a a game can cost millions. It wasn't long ago when bedroom coders were writing games, in funny game, but the novelty soon runs out. their spare time, for platforms such as the Spectrum. With a bit of luck it would end up on the shelves. The people who started like that are generally the people running the show today. CLASSIC So where are the next generation programmers going to come from? In 1997 Sony launched Net Yaroze (Japanese: lets create). Providing coders with a keyed downUFO:Enemy Unknown Playstation development kit and a chance for the best examples of code to be included on the Official Playstation Magazine cover, the project was designed to open the door to theFormat: Amiga / PC video gaming industry. This inspired many people, some who are now working on suc-Developer: Microprose cessful titles such as This Is Football 2. The next question is, what's happening now? The answer is once again, though not entirely, Sony. Having recently launched the PS2,Just recently I managed to get hold of a copy of UFO-Enemy Unknown. Anyone who knows Sony has decided to add a simple programming language to their demo disk. Namedthis game will remember it. It occupied a lot of my time and I must say it had to be down to Yabasic, this small package is aimed at kids as young as 8, who will be provided with allthe fact that the reward I gained from my research kept me up all night. Power suits, Plasma the support they need from the Yabasic website. Teaching basics to this generation willrifles, recovered alien corpses etc. Excellent. Ha. Anyone else out there who's mad please surely benefit future gaming. contact me: [email protected] It looks like Sony is pulling all the weight, but others are catching on fast. A company called Indrema is due to launch (US) a new console in spring 2001. Indrema will be hitting the bigWebsites: guys (Microsoft-Sony-Nintendo) from a different angle. Boasting a set of specs that rival all the next-gen consoles, the Indrema could well prove to be popular amongst hardcoreVisit these for futher info on the above articles: gamers. Linux-based, Indrema offers free SDKs, free distribution, a support community and an open source operating system. This in effect is a user-friendly game-designing platformwww.lionhead.co.uk that can be used by amateurs or professionals alike. For the games to run on the consolewww.quarks.co.uk they will have to be certified by Indrema. A royalty will be charged and the game becomeswww.indrema.com available. An UK launch is yet to be specified, but the future of gaming looks bright. www.starpeace.net

[PLATFORM] 129 Supported By Contact : Dan Mascall : [email protected]

"Being involved in MV can only give you a head start in terms of your future career and we would welcome applications from any Millennium Volunteer"

David Ashley - Development Controller Arcadia Group Boy George djing live @ FNO 2nd February Lifestyle 01/02/01 31

Dr Russ

Dear Russ because they are seen as supportive and helpful. I've heard that selection centres often include discussion groups as part of theThirdly, if you are chairing the discussion assessment procedure. I haven't got ayou should aim to: introduce the topic; set clue what to expect. Can you help me?down any guidelines such as encouraging only one person to speak at a time; curtail Dear Nick overbearing participants whilst involving those on the fringes of the discussion; and, Having watched a number of discussion finally, steer the group towards a point groups over the years, the main thing I'vewhere you can make a short summary of noticed is that they tend to come in all sortsthe discussion. Keep your eye on the of shapes and sizes. A chairperson mightclock because if you over-run, you might be appointed or the group left leaderless; abe penalised. The discussion might even specific topic might be thrown in for discus-be terminated by the examiners before sion or you might be left to develop some-you've had a chance to draw it all together thing yourselves; sometimes you are givenand that would be disastrous. a brief beforehand, other times you're not. However, as with every part of the selec- Whatever form they take there are a num-tion procedure, don't panic if you think ber of things you can do to improve your you've made a mess of it. Candidates are performance. First of all, it is essential thatseldom rejected on the results of just one you say something early on. The longer exercise. What's more, if you stay calm you leave it, the harder it is to get going. and can bounce back for the next test, your Don't worry about making a fool of yourselfpositive attitude is certain to impress the at this stage, it's far more important to getexaminers and will often more than com- used to the sound of your own voice. Youpensate for previous disappointments. will gain in confidence the more you speak. Russ Clark, Secondly, if you feel shut out of the discus-Careers Service sion at any stage - you can come back in fairly painlessly either by complimenting PSWe still have places on the Assessment someone on a view or an opinion which Centres workshop on Wed 7 February. they've expressed or by asking them to This will include a group discussion. Please clarify something they've said. You will besign up in Careers if you wish to attend. given marks for these contributions

MONEY MATTERS Camp AmericaTOP TIPS WANTED It was about this time last year thatworked as an arts and crafts spe-ular contact with them now; I started to think (no actuallycialist, preparing, organising andtogether we experienced anSo far this semester the finance dread) the thought of getting a jobrunning creative sessions withextraordinary summer with lots ofteam in the Student Advice and over the summer vacation. Weeksgroups of up to 20 kids ranging inkids, lots of laughs, a few tears, aInformation service have seen of working in a job that was mostage from 6 to 16, but I also helpedbit of travelling and some brilliantabout 200 students who have probably going to be dull, indoorswith bunk counselling too (thisweekends off in New York City. asked for advice and help. and worst of all in Norfolk reallyinvolves caring for the kids every- didn’t appeal to me at all. So whenday stuff, like checking they go toIf the idea of having an amazingDoes this mean that there are someone suggested to me that inbed at the right time, comfortingsummer in 2001 appeals to you,several thousand of you out there 6 months time I could be inthem if they get home-sick andthen why not attend the Campwho are managing your money America, working with kids, havingdoing things for them which mightAmerica Recruitment Fair inreally well? fun and getting to see the real USusually be done by their mother,London on 10th (10am - 4pm) and of A, I thought I’d see what it wasfather or siblings, even if it’s just11th (11am - 4pm) of February, atIf managing your money is no all about. After attending a Campmaking sure they’ve brushed theirKensington Town Hall, Campdenproblem to you, you must have America meeting in London, I wasteeth before bed!). Hill Road, London, W8. You will bedreamed up some good money hooked, everyone there was so able to speak personally to thesaving ideas. enthusiastic and, like me wantedCamp is a mixture of totally uniquedirectors of the camps and get to have a summer they’d neverand amazing experiences whichrecruited the very same day! YouPLEASE SHARE THEM WITH forget. Having filled out a fewyou could probably never get any-MUST bring with you: 2 passportEVERYONE forms and been to the Directorswhere else; for me it combinedsized photos, 2 current references Fair in London, it was only a mat-hilarious and sometimes heart-(signed & dated), a deposit fee ofe-mail us on student-advice@sur- ter of months before I was wavingwarming moments which I’ll never£45, certificates or photographs torey.ac.uk and we will arrange to goodbye to East Anglia and say-forget, with memories of tiredness,support your application, and ifpublish the printable ones! ing ‘hi’ to the East Coast ofsleeping bags, processed cheese,possible a completed application America. skunks, fire-flies, Oreos, and theform which can be downloadedStudent Advice and Information toilets.... But one of the best thingsfrom www.campamerica.co.uk. IfService, (SAIS) The camp that I worked on was inabout camp (as well as the chil-you would like more informationWey Flat 2, Surrey Court, New York state, about 45 minutesdren and the fact that for 9 weeksabout Camp America, then youTelephone 01483 879261 from ‘The Big Apple’ itself. Campyou’re able to act like a bigcan contact them at CampE-mail student- Spruce is a charity run camp for(responsible!) kid yourself) wasAmerica, Dept. NA, 37a Queen’[email protected] under-privileged kids from themaking friends with the other staffGate, London, SW7 5HR. Tel: 020 NYC suburbs and so, unlike someworking alongside me. I made7581 7333. Web: www.cam- of the summer camps I’d seen onsome really good friends in a rela-pamerica.co.uk. So, what are you TV (yes, I do admit to havingtively short time and am still in reg-waiting for? watched ‘Bug Juice’ on the odd occasion) it didn’t really have many impressive facilities. But as my summer progressed, I realised that water skiing and rock climbing isn’t what summer camp is about. Although this will sound cliched, to me camp was about letting the kids have a few weeks, where they really could just be kids, and do some things which they might not have had the opportunity to do at home (even if it was only making a Fimo badge or singing around a camp fire!). I mainly Advert 32 01/02/01 Sex, Gossip & The Universe 01/02/01 33

Big Sister LIFEAFTER Funtastic friday yet again, didn't fail toKevs, our darling editors, hair get cutstopped you cracking onto just about THE pull my cracker, the traffic lightsor shaved for a small price to charity,anyone in a skirt....we saw you wink- showed us that there were a lot ofplease reply, after all, one good turning away, you really should see the OMB rather desperate men on the prowl.deserves another. The phantomoptician if it becomes consistent!! W The union was a sheet of green andflinger indeed!!!! by Rich W quite a few girlies joined in the fun. Anyway everyone, you missed out on Stevey, Stevey, your eyes and heartThe cow jumped over the moon, andWednesday night, a midwifes birth- Everything in my life seems to revolving around Tesco’s lately belong to a first year by the name ofthe dish ran away with the spoon....today proved to have just about every and I’m not sure whether or not that’s something I should be Emily, but even with your green shirtBermuda! Well done you lucky pair,nurse not on the ward but on the pull, worried about or not; I see no reason why that should be the on, you still didn't manage to take thebut AJ be careful, after all you would-even the most sought girl on campus, case, but by the same token, I see no reason why it shouldn’t plunge. Didn't you realise that greenn't want anyone to start blackmailingHeidi. So Nurses has there been any be the case either. meant GO, GO, GO! with that dangerous video that is lurk-takers for your dinner dance, remem- ing around. We aren't jealous at all.ber nothing is sacred! Answers on a postcard please. Well Luke, was it another failed night on the pull. Or are you secretly afterAspy you have finally been in touchWell another week in the making lets So the first thing I’ve noticed about that lovely place is that it the notorious birthday girl, althoughbut where is that dirt, and I don'tleave it there, but there is still more up really does have a strange effect on people; but it’s not the kind be careful there may be troublemean your mind. this sleeve. of four-double-J.D’s-and-coke-so-I-think-I’ll-steal-a-traffic-cone ahead, only time will tell. type of effect, but more the praise-the-man-that-first-sliced- Dan, so you have been dumped byTinks on Gorgeous_babe69@hot- bread-and-give-him-a-pat-on-the-back type effect. In short - Is there anyone who would like to seeyour beloved but it certainly hasn'tmail.com miraculous.

Picture it - the car pulls into the disabled space just outside the front of the shop and you can’t help but picture in your mind’s Caught on Camera eye an old man getting out of the car with a walking stick or some means by which his walking is aided. Instead, what you see is one of the greatest miracles you could ever see - out gets a man who proceeds to walk straight into the supermarket without even the slightest hint of the troubles that had allowed him to park in the disabled parkling spot - by parking in that particular space, he has been healed of all his problems.

Miraculous.

Now, once inside Tesco’s , this new man - this man that could now run for miles who before could not have walked to the bathroom - even he would be surprised at what I found. Well, not quite what I found, but more what I realised - did you know that your average onion, one approximately the size of a clenched fist, costs just 7p? I’ll write that in words in case you don’t believe me: seven english sterling pence.I don’t know about you, but I’m amazed.

Let’s think about it here - some farmer has gone out, planted the seed thing (not sure if it’s a seed or not, but for my purposes, seed will do) and then cultivated it along with the other hundreds of onions he’s planted. After that loving bit of care, he’s then shipped them off to some depot where they must have some sort of quality control and some poor man checking each onion individually for defects or anything making it unworthy of presence on a supermarket shelf. It’s then been transported some other place where it hangs around for a bit and then turns up on the aforementioned shelf, and you’re telling me that all of this effort: the farmer, the quality control check person, the drivers, the grocery replenishment assistants, the check-out operators and the people that pack for you, you’re telling me all of this effort is worth 7p? I’m sorry, but that seems a little silly.

I mean, think about it - a 7p onion means that if we all had a staple diet of just onions, then our weekly shop would cost no more than £2.50 a week (based on a five onions a day con- sumption) and Tesco’s would be buggered...I think they need to reconsider their pricing initiatives...not only to keep themselves form going bust, but also to make all those people I mentioned earlier feel better and that they’re efforts equate to more than This Week’s Personals just 7p.

- fluffybunny says can luke m wear a bus ride last term...... but no bacon what Chinese New Year is all about, Call me sentimental (call me what you want, in fact), but I feel teddy bear suit to the next fetish night? sandwiches. check out the following website: that would make everything better. http://www.chinatown- -Mignon please forgive me for what I've-"Fat Busters" - advice on healthy eatingonline.co.uk/pages/new_year/index.html That, and a girlfriend. I think those people are right - I do have done and structuredtargeted weight loss. too much time on my hands. I'm so sorry I just love you and miss youContact Fat Andy on 53138 -To all BBC's out there... visit a web- very much kb page specially designed for you! Hiya, it only me (as you Brits say). You may -Al, who was that honey you were with (http://www.britishbornchinese.org.uk) -'YOU GO AND GET THE DRINKS, I'M on not have seen me about much, that’s cos you OFF TO PULL SOME BIRDS!!' - Rob at - Premature ejaculation therapy sought, aint. I tried to get a few people but you lot are his -Friday? I take it H isn't to know? please contact Battersea Court pants at keeping you mouths quiet and all of best!! Reception them were forewarned, so I didn’t show. I -Mickey, 2 can play at stirring the pot, think in future I’ll have to get the blabbers. -Footy training-Mon & Thurs evenings athave you told Claire you love her --Have you seen Jonny lately? Don’t think I’ve forgotten you lot though. I’ll be Varsity. Be there or be under my patio. recently? back next week and nobodys safe. Chairman Darrell P.S. I'll probably kill you -Jonny be good My thanks do go to Kev for suggesting last week that I get anyway... -MISSING Mr D.McNeill last seen in morning lectures late Nov. Responds to -Jonny is coming.. the Big Sister girls, certainly want to, they’ve gossed about me - I can exclusively reveal that the "Maximus" ,"Wallace" or "Hairy". before, only I don’t know who they are. So if you know email Phantom Flinger is...... Jo Nobblet - Lovebite on a roll.... me and I’ll sort em out. The girls themselves suggested that -To all those prettygirls at campusport. Kev has his hair shaved off for charity, splendid, but can you -Trayscrape would like to thank all the Where do you hide the rest of the day? -Is the lamb missing something get his deputy to shave off that crap goatee as well, he’s much people who came to see on the saturday, sexier without it. cheers...Trayscrape -Gong Xi Fa Cai Xin Nien Kwai Le! - Oi, no Borne level 2 Well, that’s almost it from me for know. As ever if you know This year is the Year of the Snake... somebody who should be done, let me know on -Congratulations Spidey on getting backIf you would like to find out what the year- eh ho, eh ho together with your wife. Better than thatof the Snake holds for you or [email protected]. Barefacts Pride 34 01/02/01 BF Team Sporting Profiles Do any of the bf team have lives outside of the newspaper? Well, find out Alison Danby as Rich W, Lovebite and Kermit review the sporting lives of bf’s finest. Ultimate sporting dream:Actually scoring The bf marketing manager (and wife of editor), better a try Luke Hickey know for her performances on double basses (whatever they are). Lovebite and Kermit delve into some Worst injury: being of her darker secrets Mr Deputy Editor apparently has a dragged through the sporting interest relating to that won- mud, took me hours to Name and age: Alison Danby, 19 derful game of Ultimate (known to get the mud out of my the rest of us as frisbee) and it was nails left to me, the poor Rich W, to write Sports: Womens Rugby his sporting profile. Sporting idol:Ben Mac Nickname: Miss Piggy, Horny Virgin Name and age: Luke "lips" Hickey, Most embarrassing Best feature: Her eyes 21 (although with that much grey sporting moment: admitting that she had pulled hair you would be forgiven for think- Kermit (editor) ing 31) What (she) look(s) for in a man or woman: long hair, general ugliness and the inability to talk properly Tip: watch out for shit on the pitch Sports: Ultimate Frisbee, Cricket, Availability: nope, unless your Brad Pitt Extreme Sports and keeps reckon- Hidden aspects to (her) sport: playing with funny ing he'll start playing rugby again shaped balls when his knee is better Favourite position: hooker (obvious joke) Worst fear: being picked up by a vulture eagle, car- Best thing about (her) sport: grappling with other Nicknames: Lovebite, Chief, Lexo, Flicky Hickey the Left-Handed ried to some far off land where she is forced to swim women Wonder, or any variation on the theme fat cockney bastard through shark infested waters, before being picked up by a Veloceraptor and mulled to death or just spi- Worst thing about (her) sport: birds trying to beat Best feature: he's one of those people who looks really attractive from ders behind her up Chancellor’s or Roots: Doesn’t drink, totally tee- Best single moment of (her) sporting life: What (he) look(s) for in a man or a woman: ability to gargle total Catching a ball, with almost tackling somebody a close second Availability: no, he's only got eyes for one woman (Hannah from S- Ali in three words: Naïve Country Bumpkin Club 7 or Jo if she's free) Kevin Marston aerobic running stuff involved Favourite position: middle of the stack Best single moment of (his) sporting life: not Rich W. again, this time Best thing about (his) sport: everyone has to listen to what he says sure, although I have heard it said that Kev doesn’t it’s Kev. What do you 'cus he's the chairman strike you as the kind of person normally associated mean who? He’s the man with sporting activity. No real relevance, I know, but responsible for putting this Worst thing about (his) sport: the responsibility (although for every- thought I’d mention it anyway lovely paper in front of one else it's having to listen to him bang on every Sunday morning) your very eyes - show Ultimate sporting dream:acquisition of left-handed some respect and bow Best single moment of (his) sporting life: running the length of the throwing ability down at the altar that is... sports hall without perspiring Worst injury: assuming the sport in this instance to Name and age: Kevin Ultimate sporting dream: UniS to host and win an Ultimate tourna- be pint drinking, then the impromptu swallowing of “the editor” Marston ment and him representing Ireland at ultimate his tongue piercing would have to be the one Sports: Ultimate Frisbee, Worst injury: failing to notice the fast-approaching wall whilst chasing Sporting idol:noodles from “offspring” Extreme Sports, Scrabble that little frisbee thing and the subsequent collision with the brick-like structure Most embarrassing sporting moment: getting lost Nickname: roadrunner, Kermit (a muppet), in his hair Phonetic K Sporting idol: Stewart Fudge Tip: don’t run for V.P Comms and Marketing (or any Best feature: his weekly editorial Most embarrassing sporting moment: finding out the wall came off Sabbatical position for that matter) if you want any worse in the aforementioned collision spare time What (he) look(s) for in a man or woman: the right number of limbs Tip: never make friends with a lion-tamer Hidden aspects to (his) sport: frisbees can be used as alternative forms of tableware. Availability: allegedly more single than a one way Hidden aspects to (his) sport: makes you look good on the beach; ticket develops both forehand and backhand wrist techniques Worst fear: waking up in a pool of his own vomit having been visited by the mystery taxi during the Favourite position: 27 degrees longitude, 31 Worst fear: coming face to face with a horny Thai lady-boy and having evening following a night of bhuddist chanting whilst degrees latitude no real excuse to make a dash for it hopping on each leg alternatively Best thing about (his) sport: it’s the only reason Chancellor's or Roots: both Chancellor’s or Roots: the Powerhouse his day-release forms were certified Luke in three words: Luke Hickey, CBE Kev in three words: novelty fun pack Worst thing about (his) sport: slightly too much

David Chapman Best feature: his lack of dress Most embarrassing sporting sense (stupidly charming isn’t it)Best single moment of (his) moment: he played rugby once sporting life: becoming bf sports The Beach Boys had the right What (he) look(s) for in a man editor Tip: stay on the board idea when they sang their ode toor woman: A pulse (and a surf- surfer girls. Well, here we have board) Ultimate sporting dream:to Hidden aspects to (his) sport: Surrey’s number one surfer boy, learn to dance and have better wetsuits who also happens to be the bf Availability: yes, yes and yes hand / eye coordination sports editor. Lovebite and Kermit(did he mention that he was avail- Worst fear: having his chops once again expertly pore over his able), especially if you’re in Worst injury: Falling off his bike,(sideburns) shaved off vital statistics. Neighbours dislocating his shoulder and breaking his arm at the same Chancellor’s or Roots: Name and age: Dave Chapman,Favourite position: The prone time, while managing to land in Chancellors 20 position some dog shit. Dave in three words: velvety Sports: Surfing, climbing and Best thing about (his) sport: Sporting idol:Luke Hickey (theplaygirl model cycling getting wet levels of dedication he shows to his fitness is second to none) Nickname: Chops, Lamb ChopsWorst thing about (his) sport: the sewage 01/02/01 Surrey Pride 35 UniSPORTUniSPORT NewNewss Campusdance If you would like to play ‘light heart- Optimum Fitness Ballet II - 6.30-7.45pm Fridays ed’ fun, competitive, mixed sport Street Dance III - 7.30-8.30pmplease contact your departmental Corner Wednesdays sports rep who hopefully can find a Contemporary III - 6.30-8pmplace for you in the teams. Frisbee,Sports massage, who Mondays mixed netball, pop-lacrosse, 5-a- Tap II - 7.30-8.30pm Thursdays side football, touch rugby, bad- and why? minton, indoor cricket, 6-a-side UniSPORT Lottery football and basketball are all on If you ask anyone who has expe- First draw will be at the end ofthe agenda. Good Luck. rienced a massage, they may tell February. you it was ‘relaxing’, ‘stimulating’ The purpose is to raise money for Body Max and ‘pain relieving’, and they the Elite Sports Programme, whichPlaces are still available on thesewould all be right. There are cur- helps Surrey students compete inshort courses learning how torently many types of massage their chosen sports fields at nation-increase body strength, coordina-available. At Optimum Fitness we al and international level. tion & general fitness by using lightoffer a variety of these services £12 pro rata = £1 per month.weights. catering for different ailments. Winning prize each month = £150Teacher: Yvonka Wilkinson Sports Massage, often regarded 5 runners-up prizes each month ofDay & Time: Thursday’s 12 – 1pmpurely for the sports person, can £10. Visit the Sport Centre for anPrice: Student/Card - £7.50/£5 be beneficial to all. A Sports entry form. Be init to winit! (all Massage can be described aswhich will increase their recoveryfatigue winners will be contacted) ‘specific to the recipients needs’.period from training. - Speeds up recovery from injury Trampoline Championships For example students commonly When undertaking an appoint-- Increases elimination of waste Optimum Fitness 20 students for Surrey, from elitesuffer with muscular tension to thement at Optimum Fitness a fullproducts e.g. lactic acid Reflexology and the intestinal linkperformers to novices will be rep-upper trapezius and cervical areahealth consultation and assess-- Improves muscle tone and helps (RAIL) resenting Surrey at the Regional(neck & shoulders) due to poorment takes place. The trained ther-breakdown of fatty tissue The stressed western way of livingChampionships at Bath on Sundayposture and hours of studying.apist will concentrate on massag-- Restores elasticity of muscles can cause problems in the intes-4th February with the final atThis condition can become verying the areas that are the cause of- Increase training performance tines and can be the root cause ofCardiff on Sunday 11th March. uncomfortable and lead tothe problem, Muscular Spasms- Prevention of injury a variety of ailments. Constipation,Good Luck headaches, migraines, sleepless(knots), Adhesions, Scar Tissue orTo book for appointments or for bowel disorders, skin disorders, nights and so on… Past Injuries will become apparent,more information please contact digestive problems, allergies, backCongratulations Whereas the sports person mighttreated by different pressuringthe practice on tel; 01483 452028 pain, menopausal and menstrualWell done to the following Surreyhave Sports Therapy for injurytechniques. Intra Sound may beOr pop in and see us on the 1st disorders to name but a few. If youstudents who recently qualified astreatment, massage also breaksused, as well as Thermatherapyfloor Unisport Sport Centre. suffer from intestinal problems, aBTF/BG Trampoline Coaches: down any ‘scar tissue’ or ‘adhe-(infra Red Lamp). Email new approach and specific tech- Sharon Andrews sions’, helping to eliminate waste Benefits [email protected] nique in reflexology may be able to Annabel Canaven products such as ‘lactic acid’,- Releives muscular tension & help. John Davis RAIL is available from Gill Bayton, Ian Kelly advanced Practitioner of The Amanda Lord British School Of Reflexology - Anna Macaulay 01483 452028 or mobile 07866 Alastair Murray Colours Ball in 018920. £25 per one hour session Kate Park Colours Ball in - book five get one free. For further information regarding coaching qualifications contact Intramural Sport Sally Edie ext. 3917 All fixtures have started this week. TheThe ValleyValley?? Although everything is still to be confirmed for this years Colours Ball, it looks likely that it will be held at The Valley. I have just visited the proposed venue together with the VP Sports, Sports Chair and other Sports Executives and if everything goes according to plan, the ball will go ahead on Friday 4th May (the second Friday after the Easter holidays). For those who are not familiar with the Colours Ball, it is the annual get-together for all the sports clubs. It is also considered by many to be the best ball of the year (even when there was greater competition). The reasons for this are many. Firstly it is big, rivaling the Charity Dinner Dance turn out of around 500. Secondly it is relatively cheap and certainly provides great value for money. Traditionally included in We have a good view of The Valley in all its splender! the price is transport, three course meal and entertainments. Thisend of the run). Not forgetting offit, toned (well more so than the year the committee is looking intocourse, the ever popular vodkageneral population at least) sports also including a Champagnelouge. This is not only fun for per-men and women? Reception and wine to accompanysonal use (like the bungee run),Not convinced? Ask a random the meal. but is also amusing to watch (likesports club member if its one of the Thirdly but perhaps most impor-the bungee run) as people stumblebest nights out in the whole year, if tantly, are the entertainments. Lastaway from it having just had a shotits worth the price and if you should year, for example, we had theor two of ice cold vodka pouredgo. You will surely find that once hugely entertaining bungee runstraight down their throat (or facesomeone has been once, they will (dominated by Shaggy who simplyquite often). go again and again. Keep your walked his way to within a foot orFinaly (again very importantly), iteyes peeled for more details and if two of the end, calmly placed hisis full of gorgeous sporting types.I can make the time, a website. marker and then let the bungeeWhat could be better than spend- return him ceremoniously to theing the night with half a thousandChops SURRESURREYYPRIDPRIDEE

ROADSURFING? ULTIMATEFRISBEE Newquay Trip – 10-11th Feb To keep the The first trip to Cornwall is just aocean in the PROFILE few weekends away. We will leaveframe of things, around 8am on Saturday 10th andwe will go on to Warm up… return Sunday evening/ night. Allwatch Deep equipment is supplied and the B&BBlue Sea at we stay is very relaxed, show surf8pm. This is Name & age: Abby videos or films, provide use ofcourtesy of Moulton, 18 cooking facilities and offer an allOFU, is in you can eat breakfast for just £8.Lecture Theatre Transport will cost around £13.G and costs Nickname: Chucky Newquay of course offers great£2.50 (if you are entertainment for Saturday if younot a member, have any energy left from one offour year mem- Best feature: Drinking/ the top quality surf breaks in townbership will cost throwing arm or a short distance both ways upjust £1 extra). If the coast. you haven’t heard anything What you look for in a man Road Surfing Championships -about Deep or women: Any signs of life Sunday Blue Sea, it is Sunday will see the first everbasically a story Road Surfing Championships takeabout genetic Availability: Depends who’s part on campus. This will be justexperiments on asking part of the Surf Club social in a fewsharks going days, which will also includewrong in a mid watching Deep Blue Sea and if theocean lab. If I weather allows it, Night Frisbee.can remember 110%… We will be meeting infrom the trailers, Chancellors from 6.30 for a couplethe sharks grow Favourite position (this question applies to relevent sports only – no innu- of drinks to work up a bit ofextra big, are endo intended honestly): Stack courage for some extreme Roadextra intelligent Come and hang ten with the Surf Club Surfing action. Well a little dabbleand people get in this inaugural sporting event.eaten left, right and center. Details available from Best thing about your sport: Male dominated The Road Surfing will start at aboutThe day will finish up with a [email protected], 01483856084, 7pm between Seasons and Surreyof Night Frisbee using a gorgeous07941035843 Court/ Stag Hill (up the hill from thenew Surfers Against Sewage Union – on the flat bit). Frisbee. Chops Worst thing about your sport: Everyone is better than me

Best single moment in your sporting life: I caught the disc once!! MENSHOCKEY: VICTORIOUS Ultimate sporting dream: Mastering my forehand Fortress varsity returned after ascored from two yards at the near long sabbatical with a commandingpost. Frantic play followed with the win by the men’s first team overtireless midfield keeping surreys Worst injury: Luke Hickey falling on me the chutneys Kenley. The team,lead, then up popped the Pigeon benefiting from a late start, where inspired for the first ten min, with Sporting idol: Jane Torville Jungle benefiting from, the Pigeon doing his running with ball trick and the breathtaking passing of the Most embarassing sporting moment: Where do I start detox Duncan, scoring two goals. Inspired by jungle shooting the team kept on the pressure, but Tip: Use both hands!! To catch of course failed to capitalise. Only keeping the two-goal cushion thanks to some fine short corner defending Hidden aspects to your sport: exercise is involved (no one told me that by Conan, T’ Doctor, Sonny and bit) Nipper. Including a superb stop by the Beaks. Veterans drink with the left hand but its not just Will using the right. After an inspired team talk from Cool down… kempy we fell apart in the secondwith a shot that surprisinglyleaving a trail of hockey players half, with notable drop in perform-creeped over the line. behind. ance from Freshy, could have hit The celebrations started with Worst fear: Playing a real game the ball, the sicknote Nipper andearnest in the varsity with debu-Nipper the Beaker, who blamed boredomtante, MOM, Will showing inexperi- Ps- the team would like to thank for his attempted clearance (not inence off the field by downing his Chancellors or Roots: Roots this goal). Eventually the pressurepint right handed !!!! schoolboymascot Malibu for turning up, it told with Beaks closely watchingerror. The drinking continued roundwould not be Saturdays without you. his far post the chubby strikerthe local drinking establishments, You in three words: Crap at frisbee SPORTINGVERNACULAR

The 100th issue! Blimey! Andalong to Surf Club events. will try to include notices asLovebite’s picture was worse. ThisAlthough everything still needs to we have victories to report, aI would just like to remind every-promptly as possible but if they areclearly raises questions about thebe confirmed, we will probably be Colours Ball preview, continuedone that the deadline for notices islate, they might not get in on time.photographic skills of Kev andgoing to The Valley and it looks set new sports profiles (keep them12pm Monday. If you miss this, we Thanks to Hockey, UltimateAndy, so if you ever need photos toto be yet another great night, with a trickling in please everyone), fakecan not be responsible for anyFrisbee and also Kev for includingbe taken, try to get someone elsesmall increase in cost but a good Barefacts team profiles and yetnotices being included in thatthat horrible photo last week whento do them. increase in value for money. another desperate attempt on myweeks issue. We know how thingsI was ill and unable to come in andKeep your eyes peeled for further behalf to get more people to comecan be arranged at late notice andfinish the sports pages. Apparantlydetails of this years colours ball.Chops