#20 our style is legendary

Neville Staple of The Specials Shopping Cappo Nottingham Hiphop Miles Hunt Loay Hady

Parental Guidance bad words inside

New Notts Xmas Years Decorations Eve

Dominic Minghellaof BBC’s Nottingham Events Robin Hood Listings Guide

LeftLion Magazine Issue 20 contents December 2007-January 2008 editorial

Hoho wi’ yersen, youths! Nottingham Santa here, Sneinta, if 14 20 you will, tekkin’ a break from us sweatshop, putting me feet up on an elf, and gooin’ through me list to see whose been naughteh and who’s been nice this year, before I cum dahn yer chimneh.

06 Obviousleh, there’s some youths in this issue of LeftLion who are gonna get summat very nice in their stockings this year, what with the latest issue being so mint. Little Rikki Marr has cum aht wi’ some bleddy loveleh Xmas deccos in the centrespread, which I’ll be cutting aht and sticking on us tree, like. I’m also dead glad to see that there’s summat abaht shopping in this issue, because folk are forgetting May Contain Notts The A-Z Of Nottingham Hiphop Out And About what Christmas is abaht if you ask me: stop being so 04 Nottingham’s ‘Mr Sex’ with 12 The home of the UK scene, from 26 The Market Bar, Confetti ICT, consumerist, you batchy bleeders, and support your local a concentrated dollop of NG back to front Richer Sounds and Lace shops. I’m bleddy sick of snot-nosed youths asking for chain News-flange rammell. You get meh?. A Songwriter’s Tale Sorry, I Don’t Speak Geek Cos I’m well into me beats, I’m right chuffed that Cappo’s LeftEyeOn 14 The lead singer of 27 Our team of SpodBusters make their gerring back on it, and there’s a skill interview wi’ him in 05 The Queen of the Midlands, makes his long-awaited return magazine debut. this issue, along wi’ a big shaht aht to all Nottingham bar- encapsulated through the medium spitters dem. Keep it Notts, ducks, yer know Sneinta got yer of photography back! It’s mint to see Miles Hunt back again, along wi’ folk Hady Character Nottingham Events Listings like Neville Staple aht the Specials and the bloke who made Facing Mecca? 16 Young local author bringing a novel 28 Seven pages of what’s what in Notts the latest Robin Hood show on telleh. 06 Our future dream is a shopping and Fresher approach scheme Norroneh that, but there’s all yer usual faves, all put Reinventing The Legend LeftLion Pub Quiz together by people who love their tahn. Rob Cutforth’s 19 The man behind the new BBC set of 35 Because the biggest erogenous been in a right mither after listening to Jo and Twiggeh, A Canadian In New Basford Merry Men reveals all zone is your brain Alan and Little Timmeh have saved you a right job wi’ their 08 We submerge Rob in Trent FM until listings sections, they’ll be getting an extra satsuma in their his lungs burst and his ears drown Oh Nottingham, Is Full Of Fun stockings this year. Amanda has had a wod wi’ some top- in rubbish Do You Want Deccing? 36 James Walker went to a Forest drawer local artists, and Mr Sex is chelping off again (and 20 Because if you’re gonna ruin your match and got well into it by the way, my elves have refused point-blank to mek you a tree with tat, make it our tat Su Pollard sex doll, you chatteh bogger). The Staple Diet 09 A very Special interview with the Write Lion Before I goo back to wok, I hope you don’t mind me bigging rudest singer of them all Artist Profiles 37 The best scribblings on our up everyone involved wi’ LeftLion, from folk like Reason, 23 Joseph Kelly, Dan Toporowski, creative writing forum Ben and Jared who wok theirsen ragged gerrin’ it together Rachel Parry and Samuel Mercer to all the people who write and mek pictures for it, to the Cappo youths who gerrit aht the door and drag it rahnd tahn, to all 10 The golden condor of Nottingham Rocky Horrorscopes the places that stock it and advertise in it. Sneinta reckons hiphop is home to roost LeftLion Bands 38 Roger Mean, Rob White and you’ve bin so good this year that it’s Ralleh Choppers all 25 Pennyblack, Rebel Soul Parade, Kids Notts Trumps go off on one rahnd! In Tracksuits and Yunioshi Anyroad up, I’m off nah. Mek sure you behave yoursen, don’t get too kaylide, and mek sure you leave a nice glass o’ Taboo and some peas aht before yer goo to bed on Xmas Eve. You get meh? credits Sneinta

Editor Listings Editors Sound Bloke Jared Wilson ([email protected]) Tim Bates ([email protected]) Mike Cheque David Blenkey Florence Gohard ([email protected]) Art Director Deputy Editors Legal Guru Dave designs this magazine, Al Needham ([email protected]) Photography Editor Amanda Ball commissions the illustrations Nathan Miller ([email protected]) Dominic Henry ([email protected]) and occasionally writes and draws the odd bit for it. Technical Director Photographers ‘Each day a few more lies eat into the seed with When he’s not scratching Alan Gilby ([email protected]) Al Greer which we are born, little institutional lies from his head over which font to Bobby G the print of newspapers, the shock waves of use, he’s probably trying Marketing and Sales Manager Dom Henry television, and the sentimental cheats of the to master screenprinting. Ben Hacking ([email protected]) Jon Jordan movie screen.’ [email protected] Jon Rouston Norman Mailer (1923-2007) Art Director David Blenkey ([email protected]) Illustrators Correspondence Address Ash Dilks LeftLion has moved. Our new address is: Art Editor Kim Thompson LeftLion, care of Stone Soup, The Oldknows Rob White Amanda Young ([email protected]) Mark Mackay Factory, St Anns Hill Road, NG3 4GP Illustrator Michael Lomon Rob White is an illustrator who Theatre Editor Rikki Marr If you would like to reach our readers by Adrian Bhagat ([email protected]) Rob White advertising your company in these pages does The Arthole section of this please contact Ben on 07843 944910 or email magazine and random other Community Editor Cover Illustration [email protected] scribbles here and there. He’s Charlotte Kingsbury ([email protected]) Si Mitchell designed covers for Bent, LeftLion has an estimated readership of 40,000 T-shirts for Paul Smith and was Literature Editor Contributors in the city of Nottingham. In November 2007 exhibited in the Best of British James Walker ([email protected]) Colin The Geek LeftLion.co.uk received over 500,000 page views. Contemporary Illustration 2007 Ian Kingsbury Music Editors Kristi Genovese This magazine is printed on paper sourced from annual and exhibition. Check Natasha Chowdhury ([email protected]) Miles Hunt sustainable forests. Our printers are ISO 14001 his website for hours of fun. Robojude ([email protected]) Roger Mean certified by the British Accreditation Bureau for www.thearthole.co.uk their environmental management system.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 3 MAY CONTAIN with Nottingham’s ‘Mr. Sex’ Al Needham NOTTS www.leftlion.co.uk/blog October-November 2007 illustration: Mark Mackay FOREST AT THE TOP OF LEAGUE ONE ‘ARREST TABLE’

Get in! At least we’re top of the table for something. Baron von Carlton

Surely Forest have more fans than anybody else in the league? Surely a percentage of arrests against attendance would be a better judge? Spectrum HQ

Don’t know about thugs, but there’s plenty of moaning old gets where I sit, main stand. Would’ve thought most of them were too old to fight. mr.bear

As soon as Aggravated Bitterness becomes an arrestable offence, Notts will be challenging for honours once more. Lord of the Nish

Well, we’ve got bitterness and Forest have got 1 October 19 October arrogance, so that evens things up. Secret files released by the National Archives on Rudolf Hess include The Variety, the club in Radford, which for over 40 years was the only Stillman a letter from a Nottingham bloke offering cheery good wishes to place in Nottingham where you could play bingo with strippers from Hitler’s right-hand man, along with a photo of his kids holding up Matlock, finally closes down for good. Another part of Nottingham’s This is our third season in League One... I a model Zeppelin. ‘It’s like getting the autograph of an Australian soul disappears forever, and if you didn’t go, you’ll never know. guarantee you most of our arrogance has dissolved cricketer - you may not like things to do with his personal life and you into bitterness. have to strike a balance in getting their signature’ he said to the Post, 24 October Beast of the Bay whilst presumably popping a photo of his granddaughters throwing A Cinderhill factory worker gets shamed, due to spending £500 an Airfix plane at a Jenga stack in the post for Osama. on having a two-foot tattoo of Dumbledore on his back, only for Another bleeding ASBO maths monkey banging said imaginary wizard who doesn’t exist to be outed by JK the keys on the stats machine giving Notts a bad 2 October Rowling. ‘It’s been terrible’, he says to The Sun. ‘I’ve always liked name. Surely any journo worth his salt wouldn’t Broadway holds a gala night for Control, to celebrate local actors Dumbledore, but not in that way’. Jesus in a jumpsuit, it’s come to publish these sorts of loaded stats? copping a break and the fact that someone from a production summat when a man can use a national newspaper to point out that Seismik Si company drove into Lenton, looked through a square made from he doesn’t want to have bum-sex with a wizard in a kid’s book. their thumbs and index fingers, and said ‘Hmmm…yes…this looks exactly like the sort of depressing shithole where a miserable Indie 29 October twat with a Nazi fixation would want to top himself’. Wet Wet Wet (ask yer mam) play a one-off gig at the Hard Rock Café. Two weeks later, the Hard Rock Café goes out of business. LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION: 3 October The long-predicted global recession begins to bite. House repossessions 4 November NOTTINGHAM vs. RUSHCLIFFE in America reach an all-time high. The Dollar hit record lows against the Forest’s projected move to a big new toilet in Clifton is nixed Euro. UK house prices slow down. A pot of mushy peas at Goose Fair’s by the City Council, who want a location nearer the city centre. dedicated pea stall is jacked up to one pound twenty. I know just the place; right next to Trent Bridge. Just behind the I suggest West Bridgford, Ruddington, Bingham etc Southbank Bar. are changed to RFF postcodes and recognized as 4 October Rushcliffe not Nottingham, dissociating ourselves The residents of Wollaton pull back their lace curtains at 2am 5 November with our crime ridden neighbours! to be greeted with the sight of something out of The Sweeney, Truants at Arnold Hill School bash their faces against the nearest NCTRCROOKS discovering a bleddy big burning Mercedes containing a available wall when it turns out that a stripper puts in a guest stabbing victim. Turns out that said victim had previous for using appearance at a drama class for some lad’s birthday. The school Keep Rushcliffe, I’ll stick with the criminals. a golf course in Leicester as a front for a massive drugs operation thought about calling in the police, but were worried that they’d oxygenthievez and had buried vast quantities of pills and powders under the only pull the dinner ladies over the counter, grind their crotches And Ruddington recently had a £6.4m drug raid. fairways and greens. Warning to anyone pulling on diamond into their faces to by Donna Summer, and make the And I know 3 people in Ruddington burgled jumpers and dragging their irons out the loft; he also guarded said headmistress suck whipped cream off their truncheons. recently. And at the weekend Rudd fills with stashes with explosive trip wires. scallies from the big C next door. You don’t need to 7 November change much to affluent to get effluent. 5 October Twiggy and Jo win an award for Best European Breakfast Show. MrGeesBigCircus Nottingham City Transport announces the axing of their regular Christ on a crisp packet, who were they up against? A monkey Night Bus service, weeing in the face of everyone who works in banging on a saucepan in Oslo, and someone drilling holes into Just move Rushcliffe to bloody Surrey, it’s full of this so-called 24-hour city who quite liked getting home from their farm animals in Bucharest? NIMBY southerners anyway. shift without having their wallets raped by a cabbie. Sigh. Badgaaar 9 November 12 October A local youth is up in court for reacting to his mate getting stabbed The only good thing about Rushcliffe is the The head chocolate-maker at Thorntons resigns after getting to death in a city centre venue by robbing the till of £324 (and yes, swimming pool. I grew up in Sherwood, went to caught squishing the truffles at Hotel Chocolat. Amazingly, it’s you’ll note he even took some pound coins). Obviously, he needed school on the edge of Bestwood Estate, college the top story on Central News East, outranking the small matter all those notes to staunch the wounds, a clearly-marked first aid kit in Bilborough and have mostly worked in the city of a shooting in St Anns. Imagine you’re that poor sod who got evidently not being available. centre. I’ve never felt threatened and have never shot; laid up in the QMC, with your only consolation being the been a victim of any kind of crime in any of these fact you’re going to be the most important person in Notts at 6pm, 13 November areas. only to see them banging on about some gimp mashing up some Whoever is employed by the Post to sit on YouTube all day typing theonelikethe expensive tuffehs. And they wonder why no-one gives a toss ‘Nottingham’, ‘Guns’ and ‘Oh My God, They’re All Going To Murder about the forthcoming axing of Central News East. I lived in good ole Rushcliffe Borough for the first Us In Our Beds’ finally hits paydirt when they uncover a video of some lads called the Millz Taliban waving guns about and 20 years of my life and it is lovely, nice parks, 15 October smoking weed. Note to local gang members: don’t name yourself shops wonderful, pity 90% of the population are up Those two pissy-knickered house-shitbags on find after a religious group that outlaws everything you like doing. themself wankers with more money than sense. a new way to raise Nottingham to fourth in the latest edition Give me hobos, junkies and muggers any day. (P.s. of The Worst Places To Live If You’re The Kind Of Middle-Class 17 November Mum, Dad, Gran, all those people who looked after House Price-Obsessed Wankstain Who Watches Shitty Programmes The latest local crackdown on beggars in town turns up a man me when I was a kid: I don’t mean you I mean your Like This On Channel Four Because You’re Scared To Go Out, by whose was identified as dead and cremated by his own mam in neighbours.) annexing Rushcliffe. Next year they’ll grant independence to The Manchester a month previously. Hopefully, the coppers have also TheMaze Park and Hockley in an attempt to get us to the top. That bald got that bastard who pretends to be a Big Issue seller and tries to flog cock and his hateful pinch-faced bint of an assistant claim that LeftLion for a quid, claiming that we’ve been bought out by them. Mansfield is a better place to live by seven whole places, which is all you need to know, really. 19 November A 26 year-old scamp from Bulwell is hit with an ASBO that bans 16 October him from every pub in Greater Nottingham bar five, for such Notts County finally sack the former (and soon to be) building japes as waving an air pistol in one pub and puncturing someone’s site worker Steve Thompson after sinking to the bottom of lung with a fork in another. Every pub in Notts minus five equals Division Four. They install Ian McParland as the new boss and go a shitload of pubs, making it the biggest bar-out in history and on a decent run. worthy of a place in the Guinness Book of Records. 4 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 LeftEyeOn Some choice cuts from our online galleries at www.leftlion.co.uk

Bison do Oxjam - Sheffield band Bison put on some sounds for Nottingham Oxjam 2007 - Al Greer

Core Blimey - A packed Maze crowd lets loose to the juice of Isreali funksters The Apples... - Dave Blenkey

Ying @ Junktion 7 - Local artist Ying performed some thoughtful folk for October’s Oxjam - Al Greer

ImperialTeadBreak - Imperial troops stopping for a tea break at Gamecity’s October talks, no doubt jealous about the new Wii lightsaber being demonstrated - Jon Jordan

Goose Fair Flyers - Some people just aren’t content with mushy peas and candyfloss, taken at October’s Goose Fair - Jon Rouston

TheLeadingMan - Surrealism is alive and well and being filmed in a graveyard near you - Bobby G

Council Tax Well Spent - Always good is this, like a mini goose fair with explosives. Nottingham’s annual firework display is held at the Forest Recreation Ground - Jon Rouston

FishMansArmy - Fish Man in Tha House! we know he’s got lady admirers but this takes the cake, taken at Nottingham’s premier pub quiz, held at the Golden Fleece every Wednesday night. - Dom Henry

MrSexMings - Nottingham’s Mr Sex gets all merciless for the LeftLion fancy dress Halloween pub quiz - Dom Henry

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 5 Shop Will Eat Itself Nottingham, as you may have been told a million times or so, is a ‘Retail Mecca’. But is that necessarily a good thing, and what does it actually mean?

words: Ian Kingsbury images: Ash Dilks

The year is 1907. You’re strolling through a British town centre on I recently sat in on a job interview at work. In response to the upon, especially if, like Nottingham, you already rely so hard a bustling Saturday. As you pass A. C. Prentiss, the greengrocer, question ‘What are your hobbies?’ the mousy waif opposite on the night-time economy. After all, when the country goes you give a hearty hail to your old chum Arthur Spurrington, offered ‘shopping’ as her somewhat timorous response. As into recession, the first two things that people cut down on are proprietor of Spurrington Ironmongery. You have no iron to mong, vapid and depressing as this might seem, shopping really does shopping and going out. Of course, if this country had retained so you pass jauntily by. But which city are you in? Are you blind constitute the greater part of many peoples’ lives. On a deep its manufacturing base, our economy wouldn’t depend on and feeble of mind? This is Nottingham of course; where else level, retail therapy probably satisfies some innate instinct; the high street. Consider the case of China, whose emergent would you find Messrs. Prentiss and Spurrington? a hangover from our hunter-gatherer roots, tacked on to our status as a global political giant is predicated on a break-neck recently-acquired desire for status symbols and personal economic growth achieved because China makes things and The year is 2007. You’re strolling through a British town centre identity. But when your city has the same merchandise as every sells things. We, on the other hand, merely buy things and sell on a bustling Saturday. As you pass TK Maxx, you throw an other place, more choice suddenly seems like less. them to ourselves… which is a pretty stupid economic model indignant V-sign at a hoodlum who has just impugned your when you think about it. intellect very loudly from the doorway of a Greggs. You walk on, For example, the only kind of shopping in which I can really past HMV and Argos. But which city are you in? Are you joking? invest my time, heart and cash is buying music. I regularly lose Sadly, the concept of Nottingham as a regional manufacturing This could be anywhere in Britain. whole afternoons bothering the racks of CDs in that nationally- powerhouse has gone, presumably for ever and the void has to respected Aladdin’s cave of vibes Selectadisc. For me, buying be filled with something. So it’s hello to the vast regeneration It‘s becoming a cliché to suggest that all British high streets music is all about the thrill of the hunt; turning up obscure bands of Nottingham, which includes a mind-liquefying £400m look identical these days, with any last pigments of local colour and artists that you take a punt on and fall in love with for the investment for the expansion of the Broadmarsh Centre, which washed away by the identikit, homogenised shopping experience rest of your life. But with downloads, cheap CDs in supermarkets should see it triple (triple!) in size. Unless they intend to install offered by chain stores. But, as we’re constantly being told, we and megastores such as Virgin and HMV, small independent something massive and fun, like a tropical-themed indoor will see greater personal and civic advantages due to a stronger music shops are on the wane. ’s last indie record store swimming pool with wave machines, then I personally can’t economy and supposedly increasing consumer choice. announced its closure only last month. Its not just record shops; understand the need for yet more retail space to be set aside all independently-owned shops are a dying breed in the city, for even more chain stores in Nottingham. You end up thinking Nottingham in particular is positioning itself as a (cringe) ‘Retail struggling to compete with the high street behemoths. about what £400m could do for Nottingham if it was put into Mecca’. According to Experian, almost 25 million shoppers local schools, or any one of our inner-city estates, or towards jobs visit Nottingham each year to browse the approximately 1,400 Obviously, the news isn’t all corporate and grim. Hockley, known that provided more stimulation than standing behind a till for retail outlets our city has to offer. In 2007, Nottingham was as the ‘Soho of Nottingham’ (by people who have obviously seven hours a day. declared fifth in the UK shopping league, behind , have never been to Soho), is a heartland of alternative lifestyle Glasgow, and Manchester. We’ve already got two shops, independent retailers and excellent eateries. A small- In any case, maybe we’ve already missed the boat. With big shopping centres, the Victoria Centre and the soon-to-be- scale version of Manchester’s Northern Quarter or The Lanes the exponential growth in internet retailers, you could quite revamped Broadmarsh. There are also more niche (i.e. posher) in Brighton, it represents everything that Nottingham shopping feasibly become an exclusively virtual shopper, with Tesco ones in the Exchange Arcade and the Flying Horse Walk. We’re used to have and could have again; choice, style, a strong delivering your food, the Freeman’s Catalogue delivering your also going to have two brand new ones, in the shape of Trinity identity, and a sense of place. brogues and angora sweaters and Argos and Ebay providing Square and The Pod, which will increase the shopping area in everything else at a cheaper price. With a long-predicted the city centre by 28% to 4.3 million square feet. But do we really So what of the future? It goes without saying that a thriving threatening to rear its ugly head and the slowing down of UK need more places to part with our hard-earned wonga and how retail sector is central to the health of the national economy, house prices, the new Megamarsh could quite easily end up as is it going to change the city? but it’s not exactly the steadiest foundation to build a city ’s biggest pound shop.

6 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 What we’d like to see in Nottingham A proper cool flea market - a more Continuing pedestrianisation of the A year-round international market. our distinctly uncontinental weather. No more boasting about being a boho Viccy Market, run by locals, City Centre. We like it. We want more. The German Market is ace, but why retail mecca - the real ones don’t feel selling artwork, original one-off restrict it to once a year when there’s More Wilkos. Always useful and born the need to brag. clothing, knicks and knacks. Stick it The new Broadmarsh Centre having so much retail space knocking about? in the East Midlands. Nuff said. in the old Odeon Cinema on Angel its own identity. We don’t want A real indoor food court, like the A total ban on those adverts on the Row that’s been empty for years another Viccy Centre. Actually, we Camden International Food Market, No more sport shops that don’t sell back of buses from Mansfield that and it’d be like Afflecks Palace in don’t want the same old Broadmarsh would inject the dose of continental any real sporting equipment. Or invite the locals to ‘Shop Posh’. It Manchester. but bigger either. culture developers and locals are repetitions of the same chain stores embarrasses us all. craving, without it being ruined by we already have. Some Factoids Researchers have found that light purple is the colour In the UK, goods totalling £205 million were shoplifted most likely to induce us to spend money. last year. This figure only reflects the number of crimes actually detected and prosecuted. According to the The least lucrative place to open up a shop is right Nottingham-based Centre for Retail Research, in 2006 next-door to a bank. stock loss as a result of crime cost each one of us £72.56.

Shopping is about discovering new things; discovering In 1964, West Bridgford became the site of the UK’s first new things is exciting; excitement floods the brain major out-of-town shopping development. Sorry, that with the feel good hormone Dopamine. So, if you love one was a bit dull. shopping, you’re really just a well-groomed junkie. Indie Daphne’s Handbag Selectadisc 67 Mansfield Road Shopping 19-21 Market Street A cracking little retro With a huge range of music boutique purveying a on vinyl and CD, Selectadisc veritable smorgasbord of in Notts has been knocking all- vintage homeware, furniture comers into a cocked hat for and clothing dating from the a few favourites... over 40 years. 1970s.

Jermy and Westerman Antiquarian Games Workshop and Second Hand Bookshop 34 Friar Lane 203 Mansfield Road Ace shop, with their head office Luna Crammed to the gills with antiquarian probably the coolest place to work 139 Lower Parliament Street and second-hand books, this is a at in Notts, as they have their own The undisputed champions of knicky- bibliophile’s nirvana. Also see their Elven drinking hall on site with knackery in this here town, covering sister store Geoff Blore, further up the mounted gargoyle heads. all eras and tastes. road into Sherwood.

Baklash Dave Mann Music 2 Norfolk Place 123-125 Mansfield Road It’s possible that you’ve never Established in 1970, this independent noticed Baklash, which is hidden musical instrument shop specialise in away opposite Langtry’s pub and the acoustic guitars, mandolins, banjos, Theatre Royal. It stocks all manner of ukuleles and orchestral strings. They retro clothing and other delights. also do repairs.

Details www.detailsstore.co.uk Swooping people of Notts and the world off their feet with cuteness, and Wild Clothing currently exhibiting at Kismet Gallery 4-6 Broad Street in New York, this Nottingham-based Oh My Gosh Since 1982 Wild Clothing has been on-line independent store features cute 43 Mansfield Road a beacon for fans of vintage threads, and whimsical handmade creations Purveyors of quality hiphop, DnB, which now hang alongside more from soft sculptures, art, and clay techno, breaks, dubstep and more. modern sartorials. They now also figurines to decal porcelain homeware. Vinyl and equipment are a speciality. have a branch on Market Street So you don’t even have to go into taahn called Wilder. to get your goodies.

Robs Records Hurt’s Yard The Bead Shop An institution for vinyl junkies. More 7 Market Street records than you can believe in such Living proof that you can still run your a small space. The man behind the own independent specialist concern in shop is also a well known Northern the middle of town. soul DJ.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 7 Rob Cutforth submerged his head into the metal box of rubbish music and soul-destroying prattle that is Trent FM, because we made him. Aren’t we nasty?

When LeftLion asked me to spend a week and asks callers to guess what the song is. In I’m thinking about getting an ‘I ♥ Twiggy’ t- as possible. In that time, he and Jo take pot- listening to the Jo and Twiggy show on Trent this case it’s a book on raft-building sung to I shirt printed up until he says a couple of things shots at gays twice more, slight the Chinese, FM for this column, I didn’t really know what Will Survive. I laugh my ass off. I call LeftLion that give us a glimpse into his dark side. He point out that the French ate their own faeces, to make of it. I’ve never been a fan of morning and warn them that I am in serious danger of admits to liking James Blunt and refers to the make a couple of tit jokes and then have the radio. It comes on early in the morning, the becoming a Twiggy fan. Daily Mail as ‘The Mail’. Liking James Blunt nerve to call Americans ‘hillbillies’. music is atrocious and the scripted banter makes is pretty sad, but referring to the Daily Mail as me want to stab myself in the ear with an ice Having said that, I don’t have much time for ‘The Mail’ is downright crazy. It’s like referring I’d been told by LeftLion that this show has pick. The last thing I want to hear when I awake Jo. The woman has (by her own admission) to Mein Kampf as ‘ol’ Kampfy’. Alarm bells start won a Sony breakfast show award and think to is some chirpy twat’s cheesy jokes, followed by never been in a relationship, lives with her ringing, but I ignore them. This is the happy myself ‘who listens to this shit?’ The minute the some spoiled teenaged brat’s pop song about mother and is obsessed with the X Factor. She’s guy that tells jokes to children and sings silly question passes my lips, it is promptly answered how much her million-dollar life sucks. not exactly what one would call complex and songs! Daily Mail reader or no, I’m willing to cut by a caller who says she thinks Posh Spice ‘looks strikes me as the type of woman who goes to the brother some slack. good’. I thought James Blunt fans were rare, but However, the first day of listening to Jo and McDonald’s in Mickey Mouse sweatpants and a Posh Spice fan? Give me strength! Twiggy had me thinking they were quite orders a Big Mac and a Diet Coke, thinking Then ‘Father Twiggy’ makes an appearance. He charming. Dim, but charming. Like an old, they balance each other out. But like I said, recites a poem with a lisping Irish accent, dissing I have been listening for three hours straight, arthritic mutt that you’ve had since you were a this is morning radio; complaining about it Gordon Brown and the inheritance tax, while skipping past the commercials, music and kid, who would roll over onto its back looking for is like beating up a kid in a wheelchair, or pumping up the tories and David Cameron. If weather reports, when my wife comes in and a tummy-rub from a burglar. It might sound like going to Rocky IV and complaining about the that isn’t bad enough, he finishes it with ‘I once puts her arms around me. I shrug her off and it’s being recorded in someone’s garden shed, monosyllabic dialogue. bit the pillow when I was on a man-date.’ snap, ‘Go away! I’m doing something!’ It’s then but it’s nice to hear a vaguely local accent on the that I realise just how angry Twiggy and Jo are radio for once. Also, it’s certainly better than the The next morning rolls around, and I find myself Did I just hear that right? Pillow-biter? I’m all making me. My teeth are clenched and I have honk-honk-wocka-wocka bullshit that is North actually looking forward to the show, waiting for taking the piss out of people, but resorting the mouse in a death grip. I have a few more American morning radio. Or so I thought… to hear what Twiggy is going to do for his to homophobic slurs? Damn, that stopped being hours to listen to, but I turn it off, go downstairs songbook. I even start referring to it as ‘the funny some time in the early eighties, didn’t and apologise to my wife instead. My introduction to Twiggy begins with a Songbook’, as I feel Twiggy and I are now good he get the memo? I imagine many of Twiggy’s story about his family trip to a stately home. buds. Twiggy doesn’t disappoint; his singing of favourite jokes start with ‘A poof, a Rabbi and a She says I am hereafter not allowed to listen He moans that, after paying for admission, The Mysteries of Egypt to Wake Me Up Before Polack guy walk into a bar...’ to Jo and Twiggy anymore. She has nothing to food and parking, he was out close to £50. You Go-Go is fantastic. Afterwards, he disses worry about. My God, I think to myself; this story could’ve Jo for liking the X Factor (yes, she fucking Listening to the show seems less of a joy and come directly out of my mouth. He then does brought that up again) by saying it exploits more of a chore after that. I set my computer Read more of Rob’s rantings at this thing called Twiggy’s Songbook, where he people. TTestify,estify, brother! up to record the next three shows and listen to www.leftlion.co.uk/communitwww.leftlion.co.uk/communityy sings excerpts frfromom a book to a popular tune them at once, just to get it over with as quickly and www.canuckistani.cowww.canuckistani.comm

8 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 Two-tone pioneer Neville Staple is on the road. This isn’t a Fun Boy Three or The Specials convoy. The musical legend sits in the driver’s seat, ready to bring his solo project to your hometown. words: Robojude

What’s going on? Well, right now I’m in the middle of finishing off an album. I’ve been in the studio and have just finished writing it. I’m on tour constantly. I am looking forward to going to Australia at the end of the year and hopefully New Zealand. It’s one long big tour for me... and then there’s a tour with The Beat as well! I’ve never stopped working! I was working all the time when I was in America and then I came over here. I’ve been here now nearly three and a half years and it’s taken me this time to get my own name established, you know?

What does the term ‘rude boy’ mean to you and how as it evolved? Rude boy could mean well, two different types of person; rude as in cheeky and rude as in being a bad boy. I think I fall under the first one (laughs). For me it’s not about being a bad bad boy, you know? Jack the lad or cheeky lad... It’s just speaking your mind.

If someone lent you a time machine, what is the first thing you would do with it? I’d go back to my school days and mess around again.

What is the first gig you would go to in it? James Brown when he was really hot! Around the time he was first getting big. He was an entertainer, you know? That’s what I do, I entertain. and travelling and we got burnt out. Then when doing live stuff because of experience. You need If you could make music with absolutely What was the last music you found truly you’re living together like that, you know? Some it! When I started I didn’t have experience, I anyone, who would you choose and why? inspirational? bands can cope with it... You just end up arguing. just learnt it over the years. I know much more Oh god, that’s a very difficult one you know. Bloody hell. Alright... Neh... I’d be lying I can’t It’s like a husbands and wives scenario when you’re than I did then. I’ve played with Sly and Robbie. I wanted to remember, honest to god. on the road. We used to do two shows a day! play with them. I’ve played on stage with them (The interview is interrupted by a builder Do you think that overall the internet has had and they’ve played with me on stage. I’ve done arriving. Neville is trying to find the keys which Do you think there is such a thing as a a positive or a negative effect on the way that Sting. It’s hard to say, there are so many people open his front door.) musical life-span? people listen to music? I’d love to go on stage with. I would’ve loved Sorry about that. Just having my bathroom and No, not really. If you’re popular you’ll always It’s moving with the times innit? I hardly watch to have done it with , they’re my living room done. be popular, from Beethoven straight down. The stuff on the TV, like MTV and that stuff. If I favourite band of all time. Rolling Stones for example, people will always do watch it, I watch it once a fucking month. What was the last thing that made you laugh? remember them and as for Lee Scratch Perry I hardly listen to radio. Internet, ha, I’m crap If there was a nuclear holocaust and you were Bloody hell... I can’t bloody remember! It’s been so he will always be remembered. Maybe not by at it, but that’s what the young kids are into given the power to save just one city, which long (laughs). Write that in, that I couldn’t remember. massive amounts of people, but his name will nowadays. I’m just an old fogey. I’m not used one would you choose? Well, you just made me laugh... there you go. always be there, you know? to the internet to be honest with ya. I know it I’d save the place where my mum lives in helps to get your records and your name about. Jamaica. When performing live, have you ever done or said What’s your secret? But I have people to do that for me. something that you really wished you hadn’t? Do you mean why does everybody still like What was the last book you read? Yeah, erm... Nah, I can’t remember. There’s The Specials? Because at the time we were Is there anything you feel nostalgia for from It was an Agatha Christie novel. I used to read probably loads of stuff I’ve said on stage and something that people were waiting for. We pre-internet days? all of her books. regretted, but I just can’t remember any of it. were singing about social issues. What was Erm... when you used to get into a band, you affecting us, where we were living, and I used to know who the fuck they were. You Is there anything you’d like to say to LeftLion Thinking about it, it’s probably a good thing? guess it touched the nerves of a lot of people in hear a band name now and you haven’t a clue readers? That’s just life... It’s just the way it goes. Do you different towns and cities and countries. Plus who they are! Everybody sounds the same. Come see me play... and check out my new know what I mean? it’s very powerful music when you’re there live. Previously, you could tell different bands, I album when it comes out. That’s it! So you’re there dancing and enjoying yourself mean, who was who. The bands that you’ve been involved with and when you get time or when you sit down generally have short explosions of studio and chill out you listen to the words, you know? Just out of interest what format is most of recording energy. Is there a reason? your music on? Neville Staple is performing live in Nottingham You know why though? Specials for instance, we Do you think that youth is a catalyst for creativity, What you trying to say? 45s and LPs, why? at The Maze on 14 December. got so popular and the record companies and or does the best music come out of experience? Have they changed it now? Buying vinyl used everyone wanted to see us. So we was travelling Experience! I think I’m getting better with to be nice you know. www.nevillestaple.co.uk

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 9 words: Jared Wilson

Notts is known internationally for its wealth of hiphop talent. Then you hooked up with the P Brothers… Tell us about the people you’re working with at the moment… With so much competition it’s not easy to stand out around We made the first EP Heavy Bronx Volume One and worked I’m always working with Weight Bench and Rukus Regardless, here, but one guy who always has is Cappo. Despite still only together on festivals and shows. I used to just listen to them and who’s got three out called Code Of Practice 1, 2 and 3, being in his late twenties, he’s been an integral part of the scene watch how they worked and take in as much as I could. A lot of which I made all the beats for and Midnyte who has an album for a decade. His debut album Spaz The World was released my production capabilities were learned by listening them. They called Revision. Me and Konny Kon have also been working on internationally by Zebra Traffic and he’s worked with many of would always go on the turntables and cut up break beats before new material. Styly Cee has produced three burners for a new the best in the UK and beyond. Known for his prolific material, they produced a track. They knew about the essence of hiphop EP we’re going to release called The H Bomb which I’m very he’s been underground recently working on new material. We and it made me realise how deep the history was and how much proud of. I’ve been writing to a new track for ED 209’s new caught up with him to find out more… I had to learn. Every release was a solid progression for me, project and I’ve also been working with First Blood for a track on building up to Spaz The World. their album. I’m happy to work with people I trust and know are When did you start rapping? talented. It’s like a never-ending catalyst for me. I started at school, I used to write bars in media class with a Tell us about that, your debut album… long time friend called Labels and also used to spend a lot of It’s still the pinnacle of all my releases. It was really demanding What was it like going on tour with The Herbaliser? time freestyling with Stryder and Labels in my garage. We would to make and is still the release I’m most proud of. When I hear it, It was a real eye-opener to work with people who have been record on an old tape player and spend ages finding samples off it still shocks me how the drums sound. When I look at my new monetarily successful in the UK music industry. By the time I old records and pause button looping them with drum breaks. album I know I’ve got to put exactly the same amount of effort met them, they were already well-established, so being able to I was deep into graffiti as well, that’s where I first started into it, and combine that with the knowledge I have gained record and tour with them and see how the cogs work on a large respecting hiphop and realising how important it was to me and since releasing Spaz The World which is why the new material is scale tour was an honour. We played Belgium, Ireland, Glasgow, how much I wanted to be part of it. A few years later I saved up taking a while. Manchester, France, Slovakia and festivals all over the place. I and bought my MPC 2000XL, which I still use today. That’s when was just happy to be there, it was such a learning process. I started concentrating solely on the music. When can we expect the new album? There are always hurdles to overcome, but it’s been in the Tell us about your current mix tape… How did you get your first record deal? pipeline for two years. I’ve been making beats and filing them The Directors Commentary Vol.1 is my history tape. It’s 24 tracks In about ‘98 or ‘99, Zero Theory let me borrow his Ensoniq 16 away and I’ve got about ten or eleven tracks that are almost and lasts over an hour. It spans almost a decade of my music Plus sampler for two weeks. I produced about fifteen tracks there. When I get into the full process of writing the lyrics, I and features every section of my career. I had a lot of music and made a demo called The Cap Tape Vol. 1. I got about forty want to travel around Nottingham like I used to and spit bars that hadn’t been heard, but I felt needed to be released, so I did pressed and sent them off to record labels and radio stations. with everyone. So I can get my mind running to full capacity. a juxtaposition of tracks from past to present with some new That’s how I got in touch with Son Records. They put me in I’d be happy for it to be heard and bought by as many people freestyles and exclusives on it as well. It features work I did touch with Styly Cee. I met him at his house and we got on well, as possible, but the main thing is that the real hiphop heads in way back in ‘99 with DJ Prime, unreleased gems with Styly Cee, we started making tracks together and he produced a track on Britain, Europe and especially in the USA get to hear and know Zero Theory and ED209, and also has a track I made with The my first EP, and we’ve been tight ever since. that it follows the protocol of how to make real hiphop with no ifs Herbaliser and some tracks from my Resilience EP. It features or buts or compromises. Rukus regardless, Midnyte and Konny Kon. It also contains demo Styly has been something of a mentor to you… tracks from Spaz The World produced by the Akai Professionals He’s always been an influence in my music. When I first got to After Spaz The World, you made the two Get Out albums… that didn’t make the album but which I felt needed to be heard. know him he used to play me loads of original loops on vinyl that Yeah, we made them so I’d have something to sell at shows. I hiphop producers had used, such as the Nas Illmatic album, and used to go round to Zero Theory’s house and write rhymes while Anything you’d like to say to LeftLion readers? I’d have to guess what tracks they were. Through him, I started he would make the beat from scratch. We made thirty songs for My new album is in its final stages now and I’m working harder to get more live shows and meet artists like Blade and Joe the first and the second was made a couple of months after that than ever towards it. The plans are in action, the cogs in the Buhdha and I appeared on Westwood. Working with Styly has was released. I passed on a copy of the second to Rob Life at the machine are working and I’m at a good point at the moment. helped to establish my name and Son Records has put my work Breakin’ Bread label and they took a selection and released the Look out for the new Weight Bench compilation coming soon. out internationally in places like . Get Out EP on vinyl. Capps is back in the building…

The Directors Commentary Volume One is available now from cappomixtape.com

10 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20

words: Jared Wilson , Notts is well known across the country for punching above it s weight in the UK hiphop scene. From some of the best DJs and MCs, to some well known breakdancers and respected graffiti artists, we got all the style. LeftLion takes you on an alphabetical journey through the local scene.

Airwaves Camouflage the Elementz Community and pirate radio stations are always One of Nottingham’s best-loved hiphop and breaks Samurais of sound Liati and Zoutr have recorded with a foundation of the local scene, usually because nights which has been running strong for over four some of the UK’s best including Taskforce, Rukus and mainstreams seem to think the genre begins and ends with years now. They’ve featured everyone from Plan B to Rahzel Skinnyman. They’ve also worked extensively with local 50 Cent. These days in Notts it’s all about Kemet FM, but back to Cappo, as well as loads of local talent. favourites like Scorzayzee, Karizma and Emcee Killa. in the day it was Heatwave, Rave FM, Touch, Hot Wax, Dance, www.camouflage-events.com www.theelementz.co.uk Energy Rush, Globe, Horizon, Power, Scene FM and Freeze. www.kemetradio.com

Dealmaker Records Frederick Nelson (aka Daddy Freddy) Big Trev Hardworking local label with a Officially the world’s fastest rapper after an quality of output that cannot be appearance with Roy Castle on TV’s Record Breakers Trevor Rose is one of tested. If we printed their whole artist and a true star of the UK jungle and scenes. Still a the godfathers of the roster then it would fill the page on its own, Nottingham resident after all these years… Nottingham scene, and runs so check their website (dealmakerrecords. the community music studios www.daddyfreddy.net com) and if you want recording time visit in St Anns. Many of the their new studio opposite the Broadway. other people mentioned here wouldn’t be where they are www.dealmakerrecords.com without his guidance. images: David Blenkey (Big Trev), Rikki Marr (Dealmaker and www.myspace.com/bigtrevs Non-Thespian), Andrew Hemsley (Kids in Tracksuits), David Bowen (Styly Cee), Dom Henry (Pete First Blood), Al Greer (Petebox), Jared Wilson (Smokes and Bluntz), Sophie Cann (XS: 12 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 GrandSlam magazine Non-Thespian Tusken Coalition The follow up to the equally The scientific side of local hiphop with Duke01, Rowdy and newly-reformed collective who feature brilliant Big Daddy magazine, 777, Johnny Crump, Dwyzak and Siobhan Lynch. Lethargy, Blugrass (also in BluMonkey), Kworyl, which featured a good balance of They’ve changed their Dieverse and GZ. The original line-up included Sinic (vocalist soul and hiphop. Both hailed from line-up a bit along the from local heavy metal band Iron Monkey, who died way too Nottingham and had international years, but believe it or young). Look out for their new album out now. circulation. Sadly missed. not they were on the bill www.tuskencoalition.co.uk Back issues still available from at the first ever Detonate www.suspect-packages.com night! That’s over eight years ago now… www.non-thespian.com UK Takeover Heavy Bronx The biggest UK hiphop night in the country The label and sometime moniker of The P Brothers, which takes place right on Paul S and Ivory. Both former B-Boys from Notts back our doorstep. Founded by in the day, whose mixtapes and production go down equally Outdaville 1xtra host Mista Jam and Joe well in both New York and Hoodtown. They got all the style! Probably Nottingham’s most talked-about hiphop Buhdha, it’s since spawned www.heavybronx.com group of the last twenty years. Their crew included a DVD, an album and the Lee Ramsay and Nick Stez (who later formed the Marga Sureshot records label. Everyone from Kano to Roots Manuva Boys), the much-lauded Scorzayzee (who we hear is about to Skinnyman has appeared at one of their nights. to make a comeback), Karizma (something of a favourite of www.uktakeover.net ours here at LeftLion), C-Mone (the voice of the girlfriend on Mike Skinner’s A Grand Don’t Come For Free, also check Inna Nuttin out her quality solo album The Butterfly Post-Outdaville supergroup set up by Big Trev, featuring Effect), Tempa (who appeared on TV with Shifty Spirit, Dougie Hauser, Elroy, Shenade, Ventrola, Fatman Scoop in the rap idol style show L1 and Ritual. Chancers), DJ Fever, Mizz Red, Fedel Viking (as in Black Viking) Castro and former choirgirl Sophie www.myspace.com/shiftyspirit Courtney Rose (aka Black Viking), is the brother of Johnson-Hill. Big Trev and runs a community studio in Radford. He www.myspace.com/i_am_ has overseen the careers of Wariko, J Gold, Gully, Fort Notts, Paris 1 and his son Willis, among many others. www.myspace.com/mpc2500 Joe Buhdha Joe signed his first label deal in the late eighties with Pete First Blood Submission records, when he had barely left school. He went on to produce for Nottingham heads such as Mr Founder member of the local hiphop troupe known as First 45 and Fury, before, more recently, setting up UK Takeover Writers with Mista Jam. He’s been working with the likes of Rodney Blood. The crew boasts the likes of P, DJ Noize and Klashnekoff. His series of Freestyle Frenzy Louis Cypher and Opticus Rhyme, Graffiti is an important part of the local scene, and EPs are pure fire! as well as a live band featuring Notts is blessed with a variety of talented (legal) Danny Hughes (Team Hughes) and writers. Those worth a mention include Dilk (who runs the www.myspace.com/mrjoebuhdha Liam Bailey (The Soul Parade). Coverage paint shop in the West End Arcade), Detonate’s www.bloodcypherryme.co.uk in-house designer Small Kid, Rikki Marr and Si Mitchell (both regular LeftLion contributors), Oxygen Thievez, Popx and the people who run nottsgraffiti.co.uk. There are loads more than these however, past and present, but by nature it’s an Kids in Tracksuits underground art. Cheeky young production www.nottsgraffiti.co.uk scamps who have made serious Quality waves in the local and national scene, beatboxers with several Radio One appearances under their belts. Their live sets now Notts boasts several feature Karizma and Emcee Killa. Check of these at the moment them at the LeftLion NYE party. including the Petebox XS:IF (pictured), Foz, Lyrikool Lipz www.kidsintracksuits.co.ukk and LippiCool (apparently Nottingham’s hiphop the UK’s youngest pro). disciple who also set up the long-running www.thepetebox.com Nottingham night Prescription. Also a founder member of the Cult nights and an early Lost Island contributor to LeftLion. His The first recording new album is due to drop early next year. incarnation of Record shops www.myspace.com/xsif Styly Cee alongside lyricist Frisco Boogie. Vinyl is the key tool for any Their early releases on hiphop DJ. The trade has Son Records are now obviously slowed down a little collectors’ items and recently, but Ohmygosh (run by local part of the foundation scratch enthusiast DJ Squigley), our scene is built upon. Selectadisc, Funky Monkey and Ya Get Me? Rob’s Record Mart are still all regular Styly’s later incarnation as Pitman, a piss-taking miner/ Nottingham saying brought to national attention in haunts for the crate-diggers. rapper, created national interest a few years ago with two the MOBO award nominated Mr 45 tune Radford: Ya albums featuring tunes like Witness The Pitness. www.ohmygosh.co.uk Get Me, which was later covered by Tempa. www.sonrecords.com www.myspace.com/45theboss

Smokes and MasterScratch Bluntz Zetia DJ from the Rock City Crew of breakdancers who St Anns-based rap and Zetia are a young and talented production duo of TQ formed in 1983, at the venue’s auditions to find grime crew who are massive and Dr Javelin, signed to the Dealmaker label. Also not the best B-Boys in Nottingham at the time. The Saturday in numbers and well known forgetting Zero Theory, who produced the classic Get Out afternoon shows they put on were legendary! Masterscratch in their community. Featuring albums with Cappo. went on to support Grandmaster Flash on tour and other Rapper Ru, Yung Marv, Smokes, members joined New York’s Rock Steady Crew. The local Bluntz, Glockz, 5th Element www.myspace.com/zetiafamilia breakers mantle has since been passed to All Torque, who (formerly of Minds of Mischief) and many others. They also later became known as Groundhogs. do a lot of work with Mr 45 (aka Ziggy Peng). www.myspace.com/groundhogs_uk www.myspace.com/smokesandbluntzsb98

This is not intended as any sort of a definitive history of Notts hiphop. We’re bound to have missed people out of this list due to forgetfulness, lack of knowledge and page constraints. Don’t hate on us for it! We’re always interested to hear new local talent. So if you want to make us aware, link us up on [email protected]

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 13 words: Miles Hunt A Songwriter’s Tale illustration: Kim Thompson

I was somewhere between the ages of twelve and thirteen when I made my first attempt at writing a song. The whole thing hung around what could loosely be described as three chords and as , the driving force behind said venture, prescribed at the time, that was two more than I needed.

The song was called Speakeasy, and I had borrowed my elder Brother’s Les Paul copy electric guitar, without his permission, on which to compose it. A guitar that I latterly snapped the neck off, whilst pulling some shapes to a Mick Ronson solo from the Ziggy Stardust album, in front of mom and dad’s full length mirror.

The first chord was definitely E minor, I had a book that told me so, but the following two I made up myself and the basis of the song’s structure was essentially The Only Ones’ Another Girl, Another Planet. Only it was far thinner on melody than Peter Perrett’s effort and the lyrics were, without any debate, rubbish. In fact, I can call to mind, in horrific detail, the first three songs I ever wrote.

Accompanying Speakeasy in this overbearingly naive trilogy was The Happy Fields of Thought. This was a wannabe wig-out psychedelic adventure that I describe as such simply because I had employed another of my brother’s possessions, a phaser pedal, which essentially recreated the second verse of the Small Faces’ Itchycoo Park no matter what you were trying to play. The third song, easily the most loathsome of the three, was called Writing Home. It was the tale of a soldier doing just what the song’s title suggests. Nonsense.

By way of respect to my tender years, friends and relatives alike complimented me on these early endeavours, when in fact I should have been firmly dissuaded from attempting the noble craft of songwriting ever again. I have to come clean; in my formative years I showed absolutely no promise as a songwriter whatsoever. So it was that, for the next ten years, I was to be found plying my musical trade behind the drum kit.

Sometime around the spring of 1986 I heard that Malc Treece (the man that would later become my song writing partner for the next twenty-odd years) was putting together a new band and was keen to locate a vocalist. At this time I was sharing a flat with Clint Mansell (of ) near Stourbridge. Clint had access to a cassette portastudio and on occasion would let me borrow it. I had recorded a couple of tunes I’d written on Clint’s acoustic guitar, vocals and all. So I felt reasonably confident that I was ready to step from behind the drum kit in order to present the recordings to Malc, by way of enquiring after the job of vocalist and rhythm guitarist in his new combo.

To cut a long story short, Malc awarded me the desired position and pretty soon I discovered that being the band’s frontman wasn’t entirely about showing off around the mic stand. No sir, the responsibility of writing the lyrics had also fallen my way and I considered the duty somewhat daunting, almost to the point of resenting the new role. I was left wondering whether leaving the comparable sanctity of the drum stool had indeed been a wise decision. But with repeated application, most often occurring as I traveled between Stourbridge and Birmingham on the number nine bus, I found that the sense of achievement garnered from these early toils was such as I had never before known. I had become, arguably by default, a songwriter… and I liked it.

I liked it so much that during the following eight years I managed to co-write and sing some seventeen Top 40 hits with Malc’s band, The Wonder Stuff. In my opinion, those songs were nowhere near the best that we wrote. Within the four albums that we released between 1988 and 1993 there are songs that I am far more proud of. It’s Yer Money I’m After, Baby may well have pricked the ears of Radio One producers, but to this day I am still utterly moved by the beauty of Sing The Absurd, to the point of doubting that it was indeed me that wrote it!

By 1994, I needed what can only be described as ‘time out’. Many times I have been asked where it is that I draw my lyrical I believe a singer should sing about what he, or she, truly spends Certainly the touring schedule had become tiring, as were the inspiration from and my oft’-repeated response is ‘from my their time contemplating and better still, should absolutely tell it expectations of the band’s creative output even the constant mind’. What I mean to say is that I write about the things that I like it is, as he, or she, sees it. My tutors have been, amongst others, company of my fellow band mates was beginning to leave me think about on a daily basis. Here’s an example of something I’m Bob Dylan, Johnny Rotten, Morrissey and Charles Bukowski and unfulfilled; but in hindsight, I was quite simply ‘outta gas, baby’, toying with presently: I’ve tended to believe every word they’ve uttered simply because and that was a first. It’s not a pleasant feeling, wondering if that’s they sounded like they believed what they were talking about; and it. However, I truly believe that anyone who has chosen to follow What is the accepted thinking on the subject of pissing in the furthermore, like they needed to say it. When I hear people say ‘I their creative whims as a life pursuit has, at one time or another, shower? don’t really listen to lyrics,’ and I’ve heard that more times than I experienced the blank canvas that will no longer accept the brush. a) Only in one’s own shower. care to recount, they may as well have just informed me that they b) Only in someone else’s shower, or have set fire to the entire contents of my house. It pains me so. To this day, each time I’m in need of a new set of lyrics, I tend c) Never at all, no matter whose shower you happen to be to work on the music first. I am usually convinced that the well standing in. Songwriting is a dignified pursuit and with it comes a great has run dry, or whatever it is that wells have done when they no responsibility, if only to one’s self. There are an infinite number longer contain any water. Being over forty, as I can now proudly I’m curious, that’s all. I accept that the song I end up writing of subjects to cover and similarly an infinite number of ways announce, there are certain subjects that I tend to avoid. The that considers the matter might not be up there with All You to express them. I don’t consider any of the songs I that have boy/girl, unrequited love motif now strikes me as an irrelevance. Need Is Love when it comes to an everyman lyric, but it will be a written to have achieved greatness, but that is my goal and my The new breed of writers have it covered in abundance and I song from the heart. That is to say that I’ll really mean what I’m motivation. suppose that’s as it always was and indeed should be. The idea singing about, as opposed to trying to pass off some nonsensical of a man my age attempting catch the eye of the prettiest girl at fluff concerning my soul or spirit that simply carries the tune. Writing Home or writing this now, practice may not have made the disco seems only to conjure up an image of utter creepiness. That’s really the crux of the matter. perfect in my case, but I’ve had a hell of a good time trying.

14 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 Available at The Casual Tailor 14 Malin Hill The Lace Market Nottingham NG11JQ In my humble experience there are two types of student.

The first is the shy retiring type who lives in the library rather the nightclub and considers Nietzsche, Foucault and Chomsky to be his best friends. I fall into this category, although I do fall out with Nietzsche quite often. The second is the face about campus who can be found puking into their best friend’s turn-ups or hogging the Oceana dancefloor on a Tuesday night. Loay Hady fits the latter category, or rather the characters from his debut novel Fresher do. The book does exactly what it says on the packet, recounting the glorious highs and lows of that unforgettable first week at university. LeftLion caught up with the author, former editor of Nottingham Trent University’s Platform magazine, to try and discover what that dressing up malarkey is really all about...

In Fresher, you talk about the startling resemblance between a mother and daughter at university ‘same green eyes, same thin nose and they even had the same polite smile’. What features and personality traits have you inherited from the Hady family line? Unfortunately for me not looks, but I guess I’m hardworking like my mum. I would have loved to pick up other things such as punctuality off dad, but sadly I seem to have picked up the whole Egyptian time keeping mentality, which is around six hours late… give or take a day.

The main character starts the book off trying to get over a relationship. Did you have a similar experience? I split up with a girl at the start of my own uni days, because we were both moving away and I didn’t really want to try the whole long distance thing. The first few months were so rammed, I didn’t think about the break up much to be honest.

Do you think university is about education or escape? I think a lot of people do it for both. Obviously students who study in their home town and still live with their folks don’t feel the need to get away. But personally living with other people was definitely where I learned most.

In your opening chapter we encounter suicide, the law, homelessness and a variety of other awkward situations. Is this the average fresher week? I hope not! But there’s a core of truth to everything in the book, so it wouldn’t surprise me if someone somewhere had a Freshers’ with, say… half as much madness in it.

Every time the main character tries to help someone he gets into trouble. Are you trying to temper readers’ altruistic tendencies? words: Haha, never! Long live socialism… everyone should help everyone else whenever and however they can. James K Walker

University life seems to immediately teach him tolerance. Are such social skills as important as the actual qualifications attained? Completely, and one can go as far to say even more so. What you learn about dealing with such a wide spread of people becomes engrained in your character and you live with the value of that for your whole life. As for the classroom education, if you end up in a job unrelated to your course, that subject knowledge is going to fade away pretty fast. The character mistakes a toothbrush for a vibrator in the superhero costume, as some people pull out all the stops and use the most random stuff to make the most bizarre outfits. Hilarious! There’s an incident in the book where the main character goes book. Was this a Freudian slip or is sex always on a man’s brain? to hotwire a car only to realise he has no idea how to do it. How did you meet the publishers Stone Soup and what are He just presumed he would be able to after seeing it done on Originally I toyed with the idea of him putting something of hers on in the dark because he was cold… and that being the they like to work with? television. Is television really that powerful a medium? By pimping myself! Obviously I sent out dozens and dozens of Well, let me tell you a story. There was a girl I thought was cool, embarrassing part. But I just couldn’t make it stick comfortably. Him thinking of the toothbrush as a sex toy was more about manuscripts and they said they would go ahead with it. They so I asked her out and for the next few dates she was acting a were really easy to work with for Fresher, just streamlining me little strange; saying things that just didn’t seem like her. A few how tired he was and his imagination was running away with him. Though the short answer to the second part of your where I went into the character’s head a bit. For my second dates later I managed to find out what had changed. She told me novel President it’s a lot tougher, as there’s a lot of sensitive stuff on our dates, she was acting how she thought Carrie from Sex in question is probably ‘yes’. in there that has to be dealt with in a lot more detail, especially the City would act. Take from that what you will. in terms of audience. But we’re working on it and they’re really He befriends a pregnant woman. Is this common at university or are students more responsible? supporting the idea of what I’m trying to do with it, so… I can’t For your character, the poster sale was the most important ask for more than that really. part of info in the Fresher pack. What posters were in your Definitely more responsible. A lot of people are wiser to contraception and post-sex options than they were in school residence? After graduating and being published in Nottingham, have Ones of sunsets, they are my favourite thing in the world. A or college, so even though there is more sex, there’s less pregnancies. you got used to being called ‘duck’ yet? Bushisms poster that said ‘Welcome to Mrs Bush and my fellow Definitely! I haven’t started saying it yet, but I picked up saying astronauts’…and of course Toy Story! Why do students like dressing up? ‘ay’ off loads of kiwis while I was travelling, so all I have to add is ‘up me duck’ and I’ll be set. What info would you put in a Fresher pack? Its fun I guess and maybe there’s a typical fantasy undercurrent in a lot of it. Mega money-off vouchers, info about city haunts that are off Fresher by Loay Hady is out now from the beaten track and most importantly, a list of all the health, So what’s your fantasy? Stone Soup Publishing priced at £5.99. financial and mental help a student could ever need. Everyone www.jameskwalker.co.uk/ needs one of them at some point. For me to wear, it would be school uniform, because without fail people plaster messages all over your shirt. To view, it’s a www.lhady.com

16 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 minimarketonline.comMW2SXXMRKLEQ«W´VWXSRPMRIQMRM QEVOIXWSSRXSFISTIRLSYVWEHE]HE]WE[IIO SJJIVMRKHIPMZIV]MRERHEVSYRHXLI2SXXMRKLEQEVIE

&IIVW[MRIWGMKEVIXXIWERHEPPXLISXLIVMXIQW]SY«H I\TIGXXS´RHEX]SYVPSGEPWXSVIHIPMZIVIHHMVIGXXS ]SYVHSSV

7SMJ]SYVYRSYXSJER]XLMRKJSVXLITIVJIGXRMKLXMR ETEVX]SVE[SVOIZIRX[I«ZIKSXMXGSZIVIH Alcohol delivery service 7MQTP]GPMGOSVGEPPXSOIITXLIJYRKSMRK TQEQWIZIRHE]WE[IIO click: www.minimarketonline.com Free Deliveries Terms and conditions apply. Please contact us for full details call: 0845 388 2985

The On-line Off-Licence and Convenience Store www.drinkaware.co.uk PUBLIC EXHIBITION : SYMPOSIUM : EVENTS

AN INVESTIGATION BY THE NEW ART EXCHANGE AND THE CENTRE FOR CONTEMPORARY ART NOTTINGHAM

LACE & SLAV ERY IN NOTTINGHAM

11 January - 10 February

www.laceslavery.org.uk

PUBLIC EXHIBITION SYMPOSIUM EVENTS

ONCE UPON A TIME IN REBELLION, THE LEGACY OF SLAVERY THE WEST GENDER & BRITAIN IN CONTEMPORARY ART THERE WAS LACE Refleions on the History of Slavery A Series of Talks at Broadway Media Centre (see website for further details) Godfried Donkor Keynote speaker: Kobena Mercer e Ya rd Gallery, Wollaton Hall, Nottingham with Professor Dick Geary, Institute for the Study of Slavery, University of Nottingham UNLACED 11 January - 10 February Dr Alan Rice, University of Central Lancashire and Frank Abbott, Nottingham Trent University at the D Bar, 191 Alfreton Rd, Nottingham Broadway Media Centre, 11 January with David 'Stickman' Higgins, Audrey O'Connor and Lisa Jackson

Centre for th Contemporary Friday 11 January, 9pm til late Art Nottingham Exhibition and residency curated by Michael Forbes, New Art Exchange. Public programme and publication curated by Alex Farquharson, Centre for Contemporary Art Nottingham. words: Jared Wilson

The tale of Nottingham’s Robin Hood spans from thirteenth century literature references of ‘Robehod’ or ‘Hobbehod’ to the modern day hero we see on screen. The latest TV incarnation of the legend is prime-time viewing on BBC1 at 7pm on a Saturday. The chief writer behind the series is Dominic Minghella, creator of ITV comedy series Doc Martin (starring Martin Clunes) and brother to Anthony Minghella (director of films such as The Talented Mr Ripley and The English Patient). We put some questions to Dominic about stolen tapes, Nottingham accents and having a son who is a child genius…

How did you first get involved with the Robin Hood project? think he’s mesmerising on screen and I can’t imagine anybody The production company Tiger Aspect hired me. They were else in that role. interested to see whether we could come up with a Robin Hood series they could sell to the BBC. I knew I would love to do it, but at Certain aspects of the show, particularly the dialogue and the first I didn’t know how to reinvent something so firmly established. costume, seem very modern. Was that a conscious decision? Yes, that was deliberate. The BBC does period costume drama Did you start by watching all the old portrayals of Robin Hood? particularly well, but it doesn’t speak to a young audience. We Yeah we did, we watched everything. We made an office into a wanted to deliver a show that was for the family, so we decided shrine to Robin Hood and tried to absorb as much of the existing to go as modern as we could get without it becoming ridiculous. canon as we could. We got old halfpenny copies of Robin Hood That meant walking a difficult line and is quite a complicated magazines from ebay and everything else we could find. brief to give to your crew. Sometimes I think maybe they went further than we wanted… but overall this was the right decision. Apart from yours, can you pick out a favourite Robin Hood? I met someone last night who nearly crashed on the M4 back I liked Robin of Sherwood, because I thought it seemed to be of to London because her boys had to get in for 7pm to watch the its time. It was mystical and reflects politically what was going show and that’s how we wanted people to feel about it. on in the eighties. That time was about Thatcher and a hard- nosed materialism, against which that spiritualism was entirely Would you consider giving one of the characters a modern day appropriate. I loved the Kevin Costner film too. I thought it was Nottingham accent? an epic story and we wanted to get some of that in, even though Yes, we would. But you can tell we didn’t become too embroiled that I can fill. Sometimes we find ourselves talking about a ours was on a much more modest budget. I think that to a with trying to deliver a particular accent or other, partly because project, but I am not holding my breath. certain extent we’ve got the epic story of Kevin Costner and put we wanted to cast the best young actors available to us wherever a bit of the cheeky wit of Errol Flynn in as well. they were from. If somebody is faking their accent they will be Some of the tapes got stolen while you were shooting the first found out. We just told the cast to speak however they were series in Budapest? Did that affect the final product much? We heard a rumour early on that was going to comfortable with. We don’t want to hear phoney accents as it Not that I can pinpoint in any specific way, but it did adversely be cast as Robin. Was that ever considered? can be insulting and people have an incredibly fine ear for their affect the middle to late episodes as we were caught in a state It was an internet rumour. To be fair though we did have completely local voice. The truth is if we found an actor from Nottingham who of incredible crisis for weeks. Of course that affected morale and open minds starting out, but by the end you could see it was could do it authentically then we would be delighted. There will we didn’t tell our cast and crew for a long time because we knew always going to be somebody like Jonas. Apart from anything else, be a regeneration of the cast as the show goes on, some of them it would affect them. But at times we were very demoralised and we wanted to make a show that could last five years and you can’t move on and some get killed in the show. So you never know… anxious, staying up through the night trying to think of different get a pop star to commit for that length of time. ways of getting our material back. They took everything. At one point there was a story on the internet saying that they had Have you heard about the new Russell Crowe film Nottingham? There was also a rumour that Little Britain’s Matt Lucas might stolen four tapes, but they had actually stolen 400 tapes and that Yes I have. As far as I know the idea was to make the Sheriff the turn up as Friar Tuck… was the entire show. We did eventually get them back as the good guy and I thought it was a great idea. I would’ve loved to I think that idea came up in conversation between the controller police caught them, but it was all very late in the day. do that if I was doing a film. But for a series you’ve got to keep of BBC One Peter Fincham and Matt Lucas. I think they thought coming back and our Robin Hood in many ways does what is it would be a great idea at the time, but nothing else came of it. Is there anything else you’d like to say to LeftLion readers? says on the tin. The only thing I thought was a bit odd was It is part and parcel of doing such a high profile show I suppose. Thank you very much. I am so delighted that the legend of Robin casting Russell Crowe as a good guy. I would much rather have exists and it has been really good fun reinventing it. We are him as a baddie. Where did you find Jonas Armstrong (pictured right) sensitive to the fact that it belongs to the people of Nottingham, to play Robin? but I think that if you want to make a story as good as it can be, On your Wikipedia entry, it says your son Dante is a child We took a policy decision to hire a new cast because we didn’t you have to change things to do it justice. I do hope this version genius. Is this true? want viewers to recognise actors when they saw the gang. of Robin stands the test of time. We will just have to see… He was in a documentary called Child Genius and he is very Jonas is actually quite an experienced actor for his age and has clever with a very high IQ. It can be quite hard work; it is a good relationship with Tiger Aspect, as he had been in their definitely a curse as much as it is as a blessing. I think what you series Teachers. He was still young enough to have the potential want is your loved ones to be of average brightness and happy. for the cheek and light heartedness of the Flynn element, but old He is thirteen and comes up with good stories for the show, but enough to have been to war and learned from it. See more about the series on www..co.uk/robinhood is absolutely appalled by my historical inaccuracies.

Keith Allen is brilliant as the Sheriff… The Robin Hood Up Close exhibition, Would you ever consider working with your brother Anthony He is great fun to write for. He’s playing an out and out bad boy featuring props and costumes from the show, on a project? and was born to do it. He also loves being the senior member of runs at Nottingham Castle until Spring 2008. Yes, I would but it is unlikely to happen because he writes and the cast and he takes everybody out and has a good time. I just directs his own scripts so there no real absence in his skill set www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 19 T H E O N E A N D O NL Y XY LO P AN Do You Want Deccing? HONE M Presenting the LeftLion Christmas Tree decorations... words: Al Needham decorations: Rikki Marr

Want to celebrate the birth of Jesus in a Hoodtown style? Then leave all that baubley crap in the loft, give the 20inch inflatable Santa a miss and Notts up your tree like one-o. From tender scenes of the nativity (if it had been situated in Bulwell market) to the most Nottingham way of saying ‘Happy Birthday M VE ERR I IME Jesus’, without making the outside of your house look like a big neon turd. ST N E T F A -P L E N INSTRUCTIONS... T TH Y O Cut the Xylophone Man angel out, affix it to a piece of card, glue it to a toilet roll M U 1. G holder and bung it on the top of your tree. E H R T R F 2. Cut out the remaining decorations, glue them to a piece of cardboard, stick some Y U

X L

wrapping paper on the backs and trim them. M L Y

A S

E

3. Use one o’ them hole-puncher things, so you can get your bit of string through the S L , E

Y loopy bit at the top. Nick that one at the back of the stationery cupboard at work. C O

Also whip some of them sticky-back hole-protectors an’all, because no-one uses them U T E

anymore anyway. S D T

IN G K I 4. Feel free to dab a bit o’ that glitter on them if you want, like you did at primary school F

when you were making Christmas cards for your mates that you put in that home- O T F S made postbox in the assembly hall. Red’s nice. ARSE F R O I never got any cards at school. The day before we broke up in the third year at junior M M 5. Y school, I had to post one to myself because no-one would send me one. Miss cried A O R UR when she saw it. E LO H VED A ONES 6. Hang them off your tree and stare wistfully while you doss on the sofa, watching N

crap telly, balancing a tin of Quality Street on your distended gut, wondering how the D

bleddy hell you’re going to manage without getting paid for another five weeks. J O

Z

Z

E

R

F

IM I O P G

T RE E H

R SS

A T U T

Q H O

S E V E E F

TH R

IN A E

E A R N KYLE T T MY E A

E N D R N E JE H H N N H O A T O T T S T E W R

S O B F T H

M UTSIDE D

I O Y G AT E A

L N E E ING I S T C V TH N I ’ E N G S , D N O S E A V I A N J Y T L P N A RIGHT U A Y A S W S L T L L H T

A A E D E O R I R O S H G S M W ’ U A

E N S

D R T

T A E I I N

E C H G

H T

S S , P

S N I L

O E P

N

E

T D E

A M V

O E H

O U S T R

C R A

O YE H W F NE O THE SQUARE ON

if you would like to feature on these pages, email details about your work (with examples if possible) to [email protected]

Describe what you do Describe what you do in one word. in one word. Womble. Superdoodle. Best creative tool? Best creative tool? My beloved angle-grinder The pencil. I wouldn’t get very with the Arbortech far without one of those. chainsaw attachment. Hardest thing about doing art? Hardest thing Working like a mule in a about doing art? non-creative job, the hardest thing Knowing when something is finding the time. Some days is finished. I’m reduced to intense creative What would you outbursts spanning ten-minute vacuum pack? cigarette breaks. The Bush administration. What would you vacuum pack? What artists would you like Five portions of fruit and veg, six to exhibit with? grams of salt and a carbon footprint. Jean Tinguely, Bill Woodrow, What artists would you like to Fischli and Weiss, and Heath Robinson. exhibit with? Bernie Wrightson, ‘Ghastly’ Graham Ingels Where in Nottingham would you convert into an art space?All the and John Pound. All three are legends. vacant shops, supermarkets and unnecessary city centre loft apartments. Where in Nottingham would you convert into an art space? Best way to start the day? Preferably sometime in the afternoon. The Lawrence Automotive canteen. Best way to end the day? Alive Best way to start the day? With Rush rocking the stereo and two litres of Marksman. Worst job? Toilet attendant at Donington Park for the Monsters of Rockfestival. Best way to end the day? Knowing you wouldn’t have done anything differently. Are you an insider or outsider?A bit of both. In order to harness the cynicism constructively. Worst job? I once did one that wouldn’t flush. It just wouldn’t go away. Three flushes and the bastard was still afloat. I said to myself, What do you think about CCAN (Centre for Contemporary Art Nottingham)? ‘Christ Almighty, I don’t remember eating that many fairy cakes.’ It is long overdue. It will attract a lot of interest in the Nottingham art scene, whilst offering exhibition opportunities to local, national and Are you an insider or outsider? I’m an outsider. But I’m tapping international artists. I am glad to see more and more creative graduates at the window. I’m like Danny Glick in Salem’s Lot. staying after they finish their studies and CCAN will really help with that. What do you think about CCAN What do you think about the Arts Council? (the new Centre for Contemporary Art Notts)? Fingers crossed. They rock! They do a great job of supporting the creative industries and What do you think about the Arts Council? Funding’s really not promoting the local talent. my bag. Everything I need I can quite easily steal from partners. Favourite sense? Favourite sense? Common sense. Smell. You can’t beat the smell of a roast cooking to get the appetite going. Tell me your artistic concept in one line. Or any food cooking for that matter. Leave a sign. You girls know what I mean… something witchy. Tell us your artistic concept in one line. My work is concerned with Best thing about the art community? subtly lobbying others to face up to our mutual responsibilities regarding On the whole, members of the art community do what they do for climate change, feckless consumerism and the neo-imperial rape of our the pure love of it, not for money nor recognition, although those things natural resources. Essentially, I am the fairy godfather of junk. may come to follow. Primarily they do it because they love to Best thing about the art community? The plethora of knowledge and - that’s a very endearing quality to have. experience you can draw on. Where can we check out your stuff? www.myspace.com/dantoporowski On YouTube. See Joe’s Womble-istic Gravity Defying Ball Bearing Run. www.kojellyindustries.co.uk

Describe what you do in one word. Art. Describe what you do in one word. Best creative tool? Mythopoeia. Gaffer tape. Best creative tool? Hardest thing about doing Whether I’m making a site-specific art? Persuading others installation, a video piece, physical theatre, to help me do it. a live interactive experiment, a painting or What would you vacuum a sculpture, they all rely on aspects pack? All the spiders of storytelling. in the world. Hardest thing about doing art? What artists would you Censorship and respect for forward thinkers, like to exhibit with? who actually want to make a difference. Peter Fuss, Hannah Phillips What would you vacuum pack? and Apexa Patel. Anyone featured in Heat magazine; Where in Nottingham would you convert into an art space? then I’d attach it to a rocket. The grassy patch and cliffs by the Victoria Centre car park. What artists have you worked with? Best way to start the day? With a glass of fine wine. This summer I went on an epic adventure to Texas, Arizona and Mexico. I was Best way to end the day? With a glass of fine wine. ¨ working with Guillermo Gómez Pena Worst job? For Greggs and his performance group La Pocha Nostra, as well as learning from Native American Are you an insider or outsider? Indian Shamen healers, border crossing I fluctuate between the two. activists, reformed gang leaders, politicised What do you think about CCAN (Centre for Contemporary Art Nottingham)? sex workers and the guy who began the It’s great for the region. I think if more international and big name artists clown army. are coming here, it can only be good for the local art scene. But for CCAN Best way to start the day? Mischief. to arrive it seems some other Nottingham galleries have had to close, or have lost funding, and that isn’t ideal. Best way to end the day? Invisibly levitating on a Möbius strip outside city hall, watching as people interweave each other morphing into What do you think about the Arts Council? a Cronenberg/Lynch/Burroughs funfair. I don’t think artists should rely on one body to fund them, but without the Arts Council most artists wouldn’t be able to survive Worst job? I once worked for the devil… she stole my shoes, the bitch! or even create work. I helped organise the Tether Festival in Nottingham Are you an insider or outsider?It depends which alter ego you ask. in November. We have applied for funding, which if successful will make all the difference. What do you think about CCAN (Centre for Contemporary Art Nottingham)? I hope they support local and emerging artists and help make live art Favourite sense?Smell. and performance as strong as it used to be in Nottingham. Tell me your artistic concept in one line. Favourite sense? The gap between insanity and genius, which I suspect does not exist. The extra one, which I have to keep a secret… Best thing about the art community? It’s relaxed but ambitious. Tell us your artistic concept in one line. Exploring modes of audience participation, an artist’s responsibility and aspects of evolving traditions. www.Z058.com What do you think about the art community? The most rewarding thing I’ve done is being involved with outreach projects and teaching, using my skills to enrich others’ lives. Art is a powerful, often underappreciated, tool. Why do you think it’s used as a therapy? www.burlesquetwistypants.com page design www.alisonhedley.co.uk www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 27 BIGGEST BRANDS, EXPERT ADVICE, BEST PRICES …AND TAKE IT HOME TODAY!

KENSINGTON SX2000 IPOD DOCK HITACHI PDV313 PORTABLE DVD MARANTZ PM4001 AMPLIFIER

ONLY

.95IN £19 YOU JO “A combination of solid build quality, and - most importantly - utterly WHEN CLUB OUR VIP dependable sonic performance, means the PM4001 grips tightly on to its FOR FREE top-mark status… Great value for money, this amplifi er is a fi ne choice.” - WHF? S&V magazine. The Kensington SX2000 is a genuine breakthrough design in offering NXT For top fi lm entertainment on the move, check out the Hitachi PDV313. With a commitment to stereo separates, Marantz have once again proven fl at panel speaker technology at a price never before seen. Built to Hitachi’s usual high standards, this portable dvd player offers a their knack of making a damn fi ne amp. TSP £179.95 One per customer. TSP £79.95 durable yet stylish casing with ergonomically placed controls. TSP £119.95 Also Available Marantz CD5001 for £99.95 SAVE SAVE SAVE £50 £60 £80 £29.95 MULTI-REGION £59.95 40 WPC £99.95 IPOD NOT INCLUDED 5YR GUARANTEE ONLY £9.99 CAMBRIDGE AUDIO HI-FI SYSTEM SONY KDL32P3020 32¨ LCD TV 32¨, Digital, HD CD PLAYER Ready, Sony Cambridge Audio Bravia LCD TV Azur 340C at an all time low price…How can you resist? AMPLIFIER TSP £599.95 Cambridge Audio Azur 340A SE BUY THIS SYSTEM USUALLY £449.85 CD & AMP TOGETHER AND GET THESE CAMBRIDGE AUDIO S30 SPEAKERS, WORTH £120 SAVE SAVE FREE £150 £299.95 £100 £499.95 5YR GUARANTEE ONLY £29.95 5YR GUARANTEE ONLY £49.95

5YR GUARANTEE ON ALL LCD TVS ONLY 10% OF THE PURCHASE VALUE COMPARE OUR PRICES INCLUDING GUARANTEE WITH THE COMPETITION

WE’LL BEAT ANY PRICE ‘TIL IT HURTS (INC. THE WEB) MANY MORE TVs IN-STORE AS WELL AS A MASSIVE RANGE OF HI-FI & HOME CINEMA BARGAINS & GIVE YOU UP TO £100 WE WILL PAY YOUR PARKING COME AND VISIT US AT: SIMPLY ASK IN-STORE 108 MANSFIELD ROAD NOTTINGHAM, NG1 3HD FREE SENNHEISER OR, FOR A FREE PRICELIST, CALL: MX300 HEADPHONES WITH ANY PURCHASE OVER £10 BRING THIS VOUCHER IN-STORE TO CLAIM YOURS* LL 22.11.07 0115 924 1551 *One voucher/item per customer. First come, first served basis subject to availability. (Not in conjunction with any other offer/promotion) OPEN: 10-6PM MON-FRI (10-7PM WEDS), 10-5PM SAT, 11-4PM SUN

Offers only valid until 29.11.07 Typical Selling Price [TSPs are based on information supplied by WHF? S&V magazine, Manufacturers, Hi-Fi Choice, Home Cinema Choice, & Pricerunner. Further information available on request] Penny Black Kids in Tracksuits and Yunioshi (Tommy, Guitar and Vocals) Penny Black and Rebel Soul Collective play the LeftLion New Years Eve Who is in the band? Extravaganza at the Orange Tree on Tommy, Dean, Ben, play the first LeftLion Monday 31 December 2007. Accompanying Emily and Matt. Presents of 2008 at the them will be the Stiff Kittens, Karizma, How long have you been playing Orange Tree on Saturday Emcee Killa and more guests to be together? confirmed. Tickets cost 10 pounds and It all started in the 12 January. Music from winter of 2004. are available from leftlion.co.uk/tickets. 8.30pm. Free entry. More details on page 28. Describe your act in five words… Bluesy, jazzy, poppy, fun music. Who are your Rebel Soul Collective musical influences? Everything from Who is in the band? Robert Johnson to Matt Culpin (lead vocals), Anthony Hagan Wham! (keyboards and vocals), Will Clarke (rhythm If you could play a gig anywhere, where would you choose and why? guitar and vocals), Jim Woodward (bass Somewhere slippery because we like slippery. guitar and accordion), Hayley Clarke (vocals If you could get any musician in to play with you who would it be? and cornet), Chris Dawson (saxophone), Pete I think I answer for everyone when I say . Gummerson (drums). What’s the best gig you have been to? Describe your act in five words… The Apples at the Maze recently was brilliant, or maybe Blur a long time ago. I Fun, energetic, melodic, foot-tapping and would say Radiohead but the speed I bought turned out to be ketamine so it was a fresh. little odd. Who are your musical influences? What’s the best thing about the Notts music scene? The Specials, Desmond Dekker, The Beach The diversity and wealth of musical talent that walks our city streets. Boys, The Clash, The Kinks, The Beatles, What’s the worst thing? The Rumble Strips, Bob Marley, The There’s not enough A&R, a lack of baroque music and too few cornets.... too many Libertines, Doves, and Yes (to wasps and spiders. name a few!) What was the last album you bought? If you could play a gig anywhere, where would you choose? Portishead’s second album, it makes me cry, or was it SixNationState? Hmmm, buy Jim: It’s not a rip-off getting in places, cool venues, Jim: Sandbanks Beach in Poole. It’s a wonderful them both. people aren’t afraid to be different and there’s a lot place. of diversity. The last book you read? Matt: Copacabana beach a la the Stones! The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran and We’re Going On A Bear Hunt by Michael Rosen. What’s the worst thing? If you could get any musician in to play with you Matt: Not many bands seem to get any recognition. Anything you want to plug? who would it be? It’s almost in a hub and isn’t as well recognised as Our friends, our family, our pets and our virility. Also my housemate’s escort service, Hayley: Dizzy Gillespie or Prince. it should be for the amount of young people that are get in contact for bookings. Jim: Louis Armstrong. into all sorts of music genres. Matt: Elvis and Joe Strummer. myspace.com/pennyblackband Anything you want to plug? What’s the best gig you have ever been to? Matt: Well, apart from our Leftlion gig with Penny Hayley: Runrig at York Barbican few years ago. Black at the Orange Tree, we’re currently recording Electric bagpipes on stage… enough said. our second demo. You can also get a free CD with a Matt: at Kentish Town Forum in selection of our tracks at each of our upcoming gigs. December 2003.

Yunioshi Jim: Coldplay at V Festival 2003. Rob (Guitar and Vocals) rebelsoulcollective.co.uk What’s the best thing about the Notts music myspace.com/rebelrebelrebel scene? Who’s in the band? Rob Yunioshi, Anna Yunioshi Suzuki, James Yunioshi San and Spaceman Hakushi Kids In Tracksuits Yunioshi. How long have you How long have you been playing together? been playing together? Andy: Erm… a while. Four years now maybe? We’ve only very recently Matt: Yeah, something like that. We’ve been become a four-piece. releasing music and playing loads of gigs since the Anna, Jim and I have start of 2006 though. been together now for Describe your act in five words… a year. Our drummer Andy: Big, fat, sweaty, hip, hop. Hakushi has been with Matt: Purple, red, black, yellow, orange. us for about three hours. Who are your musical influences? Describe your act in Andy: Wu-Tang, , , A Tribe Called five words. Quest, Fingathing, Vex’d, Kid Koala,DJ Z-Trip, DJ Robotic bears toying Kentaro....to name a few. with . Matt: Boards of Canada, Aphex Twin, , Luke Who are your musical Vibert, Dilla, Keaver and Brause, Autechre, Duckular, influences? Letherette, Hudson Mohawke, Flying Lotus, Lukid I’m a big fan of French- and loads more. fried-pop of the sixties If you could play a gig anywhere, where would and breakbeats so I you choose and why? guess Eddie Bo and Serge Gainsbourg would be high up there. They’d be joined by Andy: New York! Because I want a free ticket to New Beck, Fonda 500 and the Super Furries. York... If you could play a gig anywhere, where would you choose? Matt: New York, LA, Tokyo… any of those three I’d love to do some festivals next year. We’re planning to hit Sweden and Iceland in the really. New Year. Japan would be excellent too as we seem to have developed a following out If you could get any musician (alive or dead) in to there! play with you who would it be? If you could get anyone in to play with you who would it be? Andy: Ol’ Dirty Bastard or the Beastie Boys I’d say. I’d love to get Johnny-Five, the robot from Short Circuit, in as a dancer. Matt: Yeah, ODB would be perfect! What’s the best thing about the Notts music scene? What’s the best gig you have ever been to? Matt: Shape of Broad Minds’ Craft of the Lost Art. It’s full of enthusiastic promoters who genuinely enjoy putting on exciting shows and Andy: DJ Shadow at Rock City, several years ago The last book you read? getting people along to gigs. The atmosphere that creates is great to be part of. when he was good. Andy: No idea. Whatever the last book I read at Matt: Radiohead at South Park in Oxford or Aphex What’s the worst thing? school was. I’m not really into books. Twin at Reading Festival in 2002. The fact that it’s widely unknown, when it deserves to be up there with the best. Matt: Happyslapped by a Jellyfish by Karl Pilkington. What’s the best thing about the Notts music What was the last album you bought? Anything you want to plug? scene? Its either Senor Coconut’s A Tribute to Kraftwerk or Fur and Gold by Bat for Lashes. Andy: The LeftLion New Year’s Eve knees-up, of Andy: The fact that the majority of it is hiphop course! Anything you want to plug? Matt: We don’t have to travel far to check any of it Matt: Yeah, that and my solo stuff on Not in Nottingham and Supernight’s Christmas covers party at The Maze on 15 out. December. We’ll be playing our rendition of Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC. Our new www.myspace.com/lonemusic. release EPTWO will be released in January. Six belting tracks with guest vocals from What’s the worst thing? ex Do Me Bad Things vocalist The Woods on one track! Andy: Haha! The fact that the majority of it’s hiphop kidsintracksuits.co.uk Matt: Too many indie bands for my liking… myspace.com/kidsintracksuits2 myspace.com/yunioshi What was the last album you bought? Andy: Percee P’s Perseverance.

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 25 LeftLion legs it out of the house with an umbrella just in case and looks at a load of things going on in Hoodtown that you can OUT&ABOUT get involved with. Our people on the street this time are Al Needham and Camillo.

Once Upon A Time In The West There Was Lace

Nowadays, the main function of lace is to and production methods as possible. provide something for your Nana to rest a Ironically enough, Donkor demonstrates teapot upon. Yet not so long ago, it was a that the high status of lace prevails in the luxury item of huge importance, and the areas where slaves originated, with images very foundation of Nottingham’s status from Ghana and Nigeria. as one of the Empire’s major cities. But there’s an untold story of Nottingham’s Whilst cities like London and Liverpool relationship with lace, and it’s about to get have gone to great lengths to bring their an airing at the Yard Gallery at Wollaton own dealings with the slave trade to Hall. It’s a distinctly uncomfortable yet account, Nottingham has perhaps been a crucial tale. little reticent. Events such as this, which prize cool reflection over chest-beating Curated by Michael Forbes, Once Upon A histrionics, will go a long way towards Time In The West There Was Lace is part addressing uncomfortable truths. It also of the New Art Exchange and Centre for ensures that Centre for Contemporary Contemporary Art, Nottingham’s Lace and Art, Nottingham’s mission to connect the The Market Bar Slavery season, and has been put together local with the international and act as an by Ghanaian artist and historian Godfried important cultural and social resource, has The Market Bar has been one of Hockley’s mainstays Donkor. Aptly weaving together disparate got off to a flier. for a while now; as a matter of fact, it’s just turned threads into a cohesive whole, Donkor links sixteen years of age. It’s not interested in resting on its Nottingham (who made the lace), the Deep laurels, however; it’s teamed up a new manager who South (who provided the cotton to make the previously ran the hallowed Electricity Showrooms in lace) and West Africa (who provided the Hoxton Square with the one and only James Baillie, the slaves who picked the cotton). The subject Exhibition runs from 11 January-10 February 2008, 11am-4pm daily. man who started The Bomb and Venus. To say we’re a has been painstakingly uncovered by the The Yard Gallery, Courtyard Stables, bit excited about the prospect is an understatement. artist, who has spent time in Nottingham Wollaton Hall. Tel: 0115 915 3920 researching as many of the local factories http://www.ccan.org.uk/ The revamped MB is on a mission to bring back the glory days of both aforementioned venues. If you’re looking for another place to pose at the bar in your show-off haircut and second-hand kiddie jacket, this place isn’t for you. We’re talking serious leftfield here. Think cosmic disco, Richer Sounds electro and deep house, with roots stretching right back to the early days of . Spoddy fact: the original branch of Richer Sounds, which has been secreted by the murky depths of the Thames in London Bridge since 1976, is in the Highlights so far announced include monthly Guinness Book of Records for the highest annual shop sales per unit area, with residencies from Electro-Funk pioneer Greg Wilson, £195,426 worth of stock sold per square metre. DIY/Smokescreen and Heavenly Jukebox (the former Heavenly Social, one of the finest nights London ever Our local branch on Mansfield Road is one of those rare chain shops that feels gave a person). Dive, the regular student night on and acts like an independent. It’s been operating in town since ’91, and is geared Thursdays, is going to be a godsend to any NUS holder towards the punter who knows what they want (even if they don’t exactly know who feels there’s more to life than waving their shirt what it’s called), and isn’t going to settle for the off-the-shelf solution bandied about to the Baywatch theme tune at Oceana. The one- about by your more soulless ear-candy emporium. The staff are knowledgeable off events are equally mouth-watering; The Garden yet unpatronising, and you get the feeling that they’re more interested in building Festival in association with Oh My Gosh records brings a relationship with customers than fobbing ‘em off with stuff they don’t need and No Fakin DJs into town on Friday 7 December. Then never seeing them again. That used to be known as customer service, ladies and Credit to the Edit and Basement Boogaloo team up for a gentlemen, and it’d be nice to see more shops behaving that way. Xmas party on Saturday 15 December with Crazy P. Although Hi-Fi separates have been Richer Sounds’ speciality for over 30 years, With so many clubs and promoters playing it safe they’re also developing a solid rep in the field of home cinema, with a wide these days, it’s refreshing to see more venues taking range of flat-screen tellies and multi-room entertainment systems, and they’re it back to basics whilst aiming for something niche. about to branch out with a full design and installation service. The Market Bar has an intimate 330 capacity basement with an impressive Funktion-One soundsystem. More They’re also one of the few companies who strive to keep their store prices as importantly, it should also have your arse on the low as their internet deals – seems they really like meeting people face-to-face, dancefloor as soon as possible. bless ‘em. Their price-beat guarantee means they’ll give you money back on the price of any equipment you see sold cheaper elsewhere, so there are serious bargains to be had, helping you to stay a little richer, which is, erm, sound. The Market Bar, 16-22 Goose Gate, NG1 1FF Tel: 0115 959 9785 Richer Sounds, 108 Mansfield Road, NG1 3HD. www.themarketbar.co.uk Tel: 0115 924 1551 www.richersounds.com

Confetti Institute Of Creative Technologies

Ignore the obvious wedding connotations; Confetti ICT is a well- The ethos of Confetti ICT is simple; to hook up trained, experienced respected, custom-designed media facility geared towards giving staff with local talent, and give them the education and access to creatively-minded local sorts the leg-up they need in a range of equipment that they never had. They specialise in all creative fields, disciplines; from film and television to recording, DJing and sound and are rammed to the gills with kit. They’re an authorised training production. Simply put, if your decks leave you vexed and you’re centre for Apple, Digidesign and Steinberg, and also offer part-time less than rapid on the Avid, this place can sort you out. courses in Logic, Final Cut, Pro Tools, Cubase, DJ Essentials and many more. Prices start from as little as £79, with the emphasis on Confetti ICT has been operating out of Convent Street for 13 years a relaxed, flexible approach to learning. They have full time courses now, and have forged links with both local education (Castle College starting in January, April and September; give ‘em a buzz to get and De Montfort University) and the international creative industry. your future in the creative industries on track. Beyonce’s producers nipped in to have a chat with students when she visited the Arena, the legendary Tony Wilson spent his last visit Confetti ICT, 6-10 Convent Street, Nottingham. NG1 3LL. to Notts giving a talk at their Industry Week conference, and former Tel: 0115 993 2362 students are catching breaks left and right in all disciplines. www.confetti-ict.com

26 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 LeftLion welcomes Colin The Geek as a brand new columnist to our magazine. If you have questions about technology, audio, video, photography, computers or indeed When I capture my home video into Windows Movie Maker, the sound is I’ve been doing quite a bit of vocal recording in my home studio, anything else, let him know by out of time with the video. Am I doing but can never seem to get the vocals sounding like they are part emailing [email protected]. something wrong? of the song. It sounds like bad Karaoke! Any suggestions? A selection of This is a common problem when One of the most important aspects of vocal production is your questions will recording to external drives via a slow compression. The human voice is one of the most dynamic of all connection, for example USB 1 or USB 2 instruments and without having some form of control over the be printed in this magazine. when recording high resolution video. wildly varying volume fluctuations, you are fighting a losing battle. If you are using external drives, try Effectively, compression irons out the differences in volume levels using Firewire, or simply record direct by turning down the loudest peaks. If the volume levels of your to your internals and then back up to vocals aren’t going up and down all the time, it becomes a much your externals later. Failing all that, just easier job to position your vocals correctly in the mix. Consider the I have £200 to spend on a DV camera for Christmas. nudge your audio file along the time line alternative. If you have no compression, firstly it becomes very hard Do you have any recommendations? in your editing package by a couple of to get a decent recording level, because as soon as the vocalist notches until it synchronises. It should belts out a screamer you go into overload and distort the signal. For £200 the market is saturated with options and not all of be fine when you export it. Also check A compressor would act like a handy friend on your fader, turning them are good ones. I’d recommend sticking to well known your project settings are set to the same it down as soon as it detects a very loud note. Secondly, you are brands such as Sony, Canon and Panasonic. Example models as the footage you’re capturing. going to find it nearly impossible to set a level where you can hear are the Sony DCR HC47 and the Panasonic NV-GS37. Searching all the vocals without it ever sounding too loud. You don’t have to the internet for the best price will save a few pennies as well, have a hardware compressor and there are numerous compressors using sites such as Kelkoo and Price Runner, as electrical goods bundled with recording software you are probably already using! are generally much cheaper on the web. Buying second-hand is another option with sites such as ebay, you could pick up a higher spec camera at a bargain price. But of course, buying anything second hand comes with a risk. Overall it depends on what you want to do with the camcorder. If it’s for everyday things like family events, holidays etc, the above models Sorry, I Don’t Speak Geek is brought to you would be fine. If you’re looking at getting into film making I in association with The Stone Soup Project. would recommend ebay and look for an older Canon X Mini www.thestonesoupproject.com DV model.

talent turn on your s... with a part-time course

to receive a copy of the new A–Z guide to part-time courses 2007–08 (winter edition) call 0115 9 100 100 or visit www.ncn.ac.uk

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 27 listings...

EXPECTATIONS OF WINTER New Year’s Heave Looking forward to: revisiting Copenhagen, pumpkin words: Kristi Genovese soup, mulled wine, outdoor ice skating and the German Market in the Market Square, Rocket Xmas Forget staying in and watching the hands of Big Ben on TV this New Year’s Eve. Playhouse Party: always great and always messy! Not looking forward to: Xmas shopping. This is the one night of the year when everybody should be out partying! Sara

Looking forward to: Christmas being over and being 21 at last. Not looking forward to: it being really cold before I get a new coat, maybe having to go away for Christmas and if not being on my own. Deceased

I am looking forward to: bringing back Opus, time off so I can have Christmas drinks without the dreaded work hangover, feeling snuggly in my scarf and gloves. I am not looking forward to: it getting colder (I like it when it’s here, but not the journey), Christmas day, freezing me tits off when I go for a smoke at work. sopus

I’m looking forward to stockings, black ones with suspenders. And Glögg, it is the most amazing drink of loveliness in the world. The umlaut makes saying it so much fun too. Glurrrg, Glogg, Gloog, Glug. Metal Monkey

Looking forward to: three boxes of cherry liqueurs for a fiver at M&S. Not looking forward to: everything else. Lord of the Nish

Good: glittery frosty pavements, the Christmas booze run, wearing big coats and gloves, beer/wine o’clock after breakfast on Christmas day, seeing old friends come back to Nottingham, getting some time LeftLion at The Orange Tree Firefly at the Garvey off work. Bad: getting to work first thing in the dark Not surprisingly, this is where all the LeftLion crew will be this New Year. Even the If you’re after techno, electro and then leaving work in the dark, Christmas fucking contents of your stomach at the end of the night won’t have as much variety as this. For under one roof then the Marcus shopping, New Year’s Eve - most disappointing hard hitting and honest hiphop, Kids In Tracksuits tick all the boxes; mixing and laying Garvey Ballroom will attract your dancing party every year (except the Leftlion one, obviously). down the beats to take you into 2008. On the vocals alongside them will be Emcee feet. Host to DJs, including the fantastic Mr Jones Killa from Lost Project and Outdaville veteran Karizma. Stiff Kittens, LeftLion’s resident Fergie in recent years, it’s a mish-mash of DJs, will be there creating a stir with their blend of old school hiphop, funky beats and shenanigans expected to last until dawn. Good: This winter I am looking forward to getting electro. You know you’ll want to drink your way into the new year with breakbeat band Early bird tickets are £10 and the lineup is a job, earning some money and spending Xmas in Yunioshi (branded as ‘great innit’ by Jo Whiley). So that’s three hot potatoes on one to be confirmed. Glasgow with my gf’s family. Bad: This winter I am plate with more to be announced. Tickets will be £10 with a free drink with your ticket, not looking forward to getting a job and spending www.ilovefirefly.net nibbles and even a tombola! Xmas with my gf’s family. Oh dear. Cash Mark www.leftlion.co.uk/tickets Just The Tonic at The Approach The Maze Stealth vs Rescued Alternatively you can shrug off the lows of 2007 and welcome the highs of 2008 WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR XMAS? If you want to check out a fine array of Remixing legend joins the by laughing your way into the new year. Nottingham’s musical talent try The Rescue Rooms for their New Year bash, Dear Santa, I want some rest, some good nights out Just the Tonic at The Approach gives you Maze on Mansfield Road to sample Majik, fiddling about with the sounds of Justice with my friends and a foolproof cure for this cold I four comedians for £23.50! So far the line- Jimmy The Squirrel, Freaky Riverstyx, to Daft Punk to Bloc Party. It’s sure to be keep getting. up stands as Simon Bligh (with credits Penny Black, the Mindless Raskals and an event, showing exactly why he won Jared including Graham Norton and The Stand 10 O’Clock Horses. The perfect balance the Mixmag 2006 DJ of the year. At £25 Up Show), Carl Donnelly (the newest of ska-mangled rock fused with dance it’s the priciest NYE around, but on until I want a spaceship - preferably like the one in Flight bundle of laughs on the block since 2005) hall punk and a rustle of reggae. Tickets 6am! of The Navigator. and Matt Reed who attempts to steer are £8/10 and it finishes when you do. Raab www.rescuerooms.com clear of a real job and to laugh at yours. www.themazerocks.com Show starts at 8.30pm. I would like an alethiometer and a piano. www.justthetonic.com tommy farmyard Spectrum at Dogma a DiRtY wOmAn If you want to end the year with a jingle Pineapple Juice Rock City All Nighter Highness at The Golden Fleece in your pocket why not try Spectrum at Dogma for only £5? This year’s Yes, as always, there is something for you A kitten! For you relaxed reggae heads, hit The house party is host to Nottingham’s Rock City lovers. Bullet For My Valentine audreyhorne Golden Fleece on Mansfield Road for the own Hexadecimal (causing dancefloor have chosen to welcome the new year Highness Sound system. A tight triplet destruction since 2002), Pete Jordan in Nottingham and want you to join A dinosaur, a lightsabre and a TARDIS. for over ten years, they bring King Tubby (resident and founder of Spectrum), them. The usual rock star antics will go Peej influences to their Hoodtown home, Obnoxious Frog (newly established on all night, as will the bar. If this puts giving you a laissez faire end to the year. talent on the break scene) and Freeman you in unknown territory, down shots of Peace on earth would be nice, as would good will Keep your eyes peeled and ears opened (Dogma’s latest resident mashing up Jagermeister, pretend you’re in Slayer to all men (and women), but failing that, a big for details of prices and times. beats and breaks). Doors are 9pm-3am. and bring your air guitar. Tickets are £20. computer monitor and a chocolate orange. www.highnessroots.co.uk www.rock-city.co.uk Cheque www.spectrum48k.com

Socks and a large tub of Haribo will be sufficient. Though if people are feeling generous a one-way ticket to Bangkok will do. Wholesome Fish at Deux Audiophile at Ride Bar Basement Moogaloo Baron Von Carlton Tucked out of the way between Carrington A collection of talented local DJs Residents from Basement Boogaloo and Forest Fields, Deux is a friendly local will be taking on Ride bar including will be rocking out the Funktion One How about... love, kindness, shag maybe and no bar that offers a consistently good selection Raw Hedroom, Rhythm Plate, Frakah, Soundsystem at Moog this NYE. Tickets religious anything. of beer as well as regular live music nights. ZeroZero, Mood Gremlin, Stunt Brothers, are just £3 in advance. minimotel Their NYE line-up features local legends Chosen Ones vs Rogue Fingers and www.face-the-music.co.uk Wholesome Fish. Tickets are £6 in advance. Supine.

Now there’s no excuse to sit at home nursing the Christmas brandy! Take your pick but whatever happens make sure you enter the New Year with music in your hear. Happy 2008!

3228 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue19www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 listings... music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre

Saturday 01/12 Sunday 02/12 Wednesday 05/12 Saturday 08/12 Sunday 09/12

LeftLion Presents Establishment The Good Life Rihanna Panocha Quartet Venue: The Orange Tree Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Bodega Social Venue: Nottingham Arena Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: Free Price: Free Price: £10 adv Price: £27.50 Price: £12 (NUS) Times: 8pm - 12am Times: 8pm Times: 7pm - 10pm Times: 7pm Times: 7.30pm Left of The Dealer, Freaky Riverstyx and Stiff Kittens DJs. Songwriters Sunday Special! Radar Detonation Status Quo Venue: Maze Venue: Bodega Social Style: DnB Venue: Nottingham Arena Wildside Clubnight Price: £4 Times: 11pm - 3am Venue: Marcus Garvey Price: £31.50 Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 8pm Price: £15 adv (NUS) Times: 7.30pm Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 10pm - 6am

Tom Brosseau Thursday 06/12 Kenny Ken B2B Randall (jungle), Origamibiro Performing Live

Charlottefield Venue: Bodega Social Doc Scott (History of Metalheadz), Venue: Malt Cross Deli Venue: Rose of Price: £6 adv Ed Rush (Wormhole set), Price: £2 Venue: Hubb Price: £4 Times: 8pm - 11pm Die and Clipz (Bristol retrospective), Times: 8pm Price: Free Times: 8.30pm Plus Andy Whittle and Yonokiero. Transit Mafia (Detonate classics). The Joy of Box, Expanding Records Times: 7pm MCs: Flux, SP, Rymetyme and E-LL. DJs and support. Cool Jazz and Funky World Sounds. The Dandelions

Venue: Hubb Monday 03/12 Johnny Dickinson Ocean Colour Scene Dive Price: Free Venue: Deux Venue: Rock City Cafe Scientifique and Culturel Style: Electro, Breaks, Indie Times: 8.30pm - late Price: £8 / £10 Price: £24 Style: Alternative Venue: Market Bar Times: 8.30pm Venue: Muse Times: 10pm - 4am Pure Filth Minus The Bear Price: Free DJ Jack Smedley. Style: Techno, DnB, Dubstep Supersonic - Live Music Venue: Rescue Rooms Times: 8pm Venue: BluePrint Venue: Hubb Price: £10 7Music Presents Price: £5 Adv / £6 door Price: Free Shed Seven Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 10pm – 3am Times: 8.30pm - late Rolling Clones Venue: Rock City Price: £4 Makaton (live). Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Sold Out Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm Psycle - Xmas Special Price: Free Zenith, Fallen Friend, Millicent Grov Basement Boogaloo Style: Techno, DnB, World Times: 8pm Tom Wardle and Minus Sam. Style: Disco, House Venue: BluePrint Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Maze Price: £6 Nottingham Festival Opera Price: Free Silverstein Price: £5 Times: 10pm - late Venue: Royal Centre Times: 8pm Venue: Rock City Times: 11pm - 4am Psycle Residents, Monkeylogik and Price: £8 - £18 Price: £8 Phil Cooper, Ste Hodge The Laughing Room. Times: 7.30pm Lucero (Sick Trumpet), Nick Shaw Jingle Bells. Venue: Maze Tom Wardle and Ed Cotton. Culture Clash Price: £8 Venue: Walkabout Venue: Market Bar Fly on The Wall Times: 7.30pm Price: £2 Hot Tramp Price: £6 / £7 (NUS) Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 10pm - 2am Venue: Market Bar Times: 10pm - 4am Price: £5 / £7 Upstairs the Live Lounge has been Price: £6 / £7 (NUS) Don Letts, The Rev Martin Nesbitt Times: 5.30pm - 12am Tuesday 04/12 transformed to a comfortable Times: 10pm - 4am and special guest tbc. Splitters, Giants Fall, Stupid Stupid surrounding where you can relax Riotous Rockers, GW2M, The Gucci David Blazye Stupid and Steve, Scott Free and take in the live act. Sound-Sytem and La La Lepus. Venue: Hubb Noodle and Mindless Raskals.

Price: Free Style: , Techno, Hiphop Open Decks S.P.A.M Times: 7pm Venue: Moog Venue: Wax Cafe Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: Free Monday 10/12 Price: Free Price: £5 / £6 Acoustic Tuesdays Times: 8pm - 2am Times: 5pm – 12am UB40 Venue: Malt Cross Mike Hooker, DJ Special X, Moon, Venue: Nottingham Arena Bring Me The Horizon Price: Free Boy, DJ Weiss, Matt Hinton, JoZee, Price: £32.50 Venue: Rock City Times: 8pm - 11pm Slipz, Opticus Ryme and LGM. Friday 07/12 Times: 7.30pm Price: £10

Castle College Presents Kings of Leon Lo Fidelity Allstars Cafe Scientifique and Culturel Crowded House Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Nottingham Arena Venue: Rescue Rooms Style: Alternative Venue: Nottingham Arena Price: £2 / £3 Price: £22.50 Price: £10 Venue: Muse Price: £35 Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm Times: 7.30pm Price: Free CSS Times: 8pm Wild Wood From The Jam Homebaked Live Venue: Rock City

Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Rock City Venue: Muse Price: £10 Porcupine Tree Price: Free Price: £20 Ambush Mob and Vinyl[Abort]. Venue: Rock City Times: 8pm Jimmy The Thief Price: £19 Josh Rouse Spectrum Nottingham Venue: The Lion Hotel

Joe Strange Band Venue: Rescue Rooms Style: Breaks, Electro, Funk Price: Free Richie Muir Venue: Approach Price: £16 Venue: Stealth Times: 9.30pm Venue: Southbank Bar Price: Free Price: £8 adv (NUS) Price: Free Times: 8pm Lethal Bizzle Times: 10pm-5am The Messengers Times: 8pm Plus Roy De Wired. Venue: Stealth Alice Russell and TM Juke (live), Venue: Southbank Bar

Price: £10 FreQ Nasty, Baobinga and I.D. Pete Price: Free Centurion Jordan, Freeman, Dave Boultbee Times: 8pm Chaos Theory Venue: Junktion 7 Hothouse Theatre Mag Night and Matt Scrimshire. Venue: Templars Bar Price: £4 / £5 Venue: Maze Joe Strange Band Times: 7.30pm - 12am Price: £4 The Garden Festival Venue: Approach Messiah Plus A Farewell Fall, A Second Times: 7.30pm Style: Hiphop Price: Free Venue: Royal Centre Blessing and Confined To Your Venue: Market Bar Times: 8pm Price: £8 - £15 Reflection. Nicky Blackmarket No Fakin DJs, Furious P, DJ Plus Roy De Wired. Times: 7pm Venue: Igloo Squigley, Nick Shaw and Daddio. Stealth V Rescued Drowned in Sound Tuesday 11/12 Venue: Stealth Akron Family O Lovely Lie Venue: Junktion 7 Price: Free / £5 / £6 Venue: Bodega Social Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £4 / £5 / £6 Acoustic Tuesdays Open Mic Times: 9pm - 4am Price: £8 adv Price: £4 Times: 8pm - late Venue: Malt Cross Audiojack, Rory Phillips, Times: 8pm - 11m Times: 8pm - 2am Rolo Tomassi, We Are The Physics, Price: Free Semifinalists, Dave Congreve Plus Phosphorescent. And The Earth Died Screaming Shut Your Eyes and You’ll Burst Into Times: 8pm - 11pm and Matt Tolfrey. and Her Name is Calla. Flames, The Jutes and The Score. The Verve

Wednesday 05/12 Future of the Left Venue: Nottingham Arena Log Jam Mini Montage Venue: Rock City Price: £32.50 Venue: Loggerheads Sam Baker Venue: Maze Price: £8 Price: Free Venue: Maze Times: 2pm - 2am Julie and Neil Smith Matt Mariott, Martin Sanders, Price: £4 I’m Not From London and Audio Mint Ive Venue: Hubb Gareth Bidder, The Blessed Ants, Times: 8pm Massage Presents. Venue: Bunkers Hill Inn Plus Eddi Joel White, Brynley G Jones Plus Otis Gibbs. Price: Free and more tbc. Jenny Owen Youngs Times: 9pm One Night Only Urban Intro Venue: Bodega Social Venue: Rock City Venue: Approach Price: £6 adv Sunday 02/12 Urban Intro Price: £7 Price: Free Times: 7pm - 10pm Venue: Approach Times: 7pm Michael Bublè Price: Free NCN College Showcase Stealth V Rescued Venue: Nottingham Arena Times: 8pm Venue: Maze Boy Hits Car Venue: Stealth Price: £37.50 Price: £3 Venue: Junktion 7 Price: Free / £5 / £6 Times: 7.30pm The Rubber Room Times: 8pm Price: £6 / £8 Times: 9pm - 4am Style: Electro Times: 7.30pm - 11.30pm Kissy Sell Out, Primary One Pickled Dick Venue: Bodega Social Pitty Patt Club Plus Car Crash Television, Bitune and Dollop DJs. Venue: Junktion 7 Times: 11pm - 3am Venue: Bodega Social and Numb. Price: £6 Martin Laurie, Nick Smith Mass Appeal Price: £6 adv Times: 7.20pm - 11.30pm and Juke-Joint Bryan. Venue: Muse Times: 8pm - 2am Neil From Lightyear, Arse Full of Icicle Works Price: Free Fanny Devine, Netty Page, Fleur Du Chips and Change of Scene. Venue: Rescue Rooms Dj Priceless. Mail, Minty Darkstar, Little Miss Price: £16 Mort and The DeVille Dolls. listings... music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre

Wednesday 12/12 Friday 14/12 Sunday 16/12 Thursday 20/12 Saturday 22/12

The Slackers Mark James Folked Up - The Amber Herd Buster Electric Church Venue: Rock City Venue: Bunkers Hill Inn Venue: Loft Venue: Approach Venue: Deux Price: £10 Price: Free Price: Free Price: Free Price: Free Times: 9pm Times: From 8pm Times: 7pm Times: 8.30pm Subhumans Venue: Maze Joe Strange Band Margy McMullin Band Joe Strange Band Price: £7 / £8 Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Hubb Venue: Approach Times: 8pm Price: Free Price: £15 Featuring Hugh Pascall on Trumpet. Price: Free Plus Minus Society and more tbc. Times: 8pm Times: 7pm Establishment Lunarmile Notts Uni Rocksox Xmas Party Skaville Xmas Party Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Rock City The Saltwater Xmas DJ Party Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Maze Price: Free Price: £3.50 Style: Funk, Disco Price: £2 / £3 Price: £12 Times: 8pm Venue: Saltwater Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 9pm Richie Muir Price: Free Neville Staples Band (formerly of Mindvox Xmas Party Venue: Walkabout Times: 8pm - 2am The Specials). Venue: Maze Price: £2 Alex Traska, Peej and Fran Green,

Thursday 13/12 Price: £4 / £5 Times: 10pm - 2am Matt, Dave Smith and more tbc.

Manifesto Times: 6pm Hard-Fi Venue: Templars Bar New Offenders, The Fideal Effect, Radar Deviant Disco Venue: Nottingham Arena Trent Uni break up party. Night Parade and more tbc. Style: Indie, Electro Venue: Market Bar Price: £22.50 Venue: Bodega Social Price: £6 / £8 (NUS) Times: 7pm Peggy Sue and The Pirates Joel, Aoife 3000 and Ross. Times: 10pm - 4am Just The Tonic Venue: Bodega Social Phil Mison, Deepsoul Three Buster Venue: Approach Price: £6 adv Two:Minutes Hate and Ally Reilly. Venue: Approach Price: £5.50 / £7.50 (NUS) Times: 7pm - 10am Venue: Junktion 7 Price: Free Times: 7.15pm Price: £2 / £3 / £4 Genotype Times: 7pm Simon Bligh, Mick Sergeant and The Rubber Room Times: 7.30pm - 12am Style: Electronica, Techno Chris Cairns. Venue: Bodega Social Plus Blood Divided, Deny The Venue: Templars Bar Recognize Price: Free Charge and Hellequin. Price: £3 / £4 Venue: Muse Times: 11pm - 3am Monday 17/12 Times: 9:30pm - 2am Price: Less than a pint. With DJs Martin Laurie, Nick

Smith and Juke-Joint Bryan. M.I.A Friday 21/12 Love/Hate Reunion The Hot Club Venue: Rescue Rooms (Jizzy, Joey, Skid) Venue: Hubb DSFAR Xmas Party Evil Scarecrow Price: £10 Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £15 Dive Price: £4 / £5 Price: £3 / £4 (NUS) Adventure Club Style: Electro, Breaks, Indie Times: 8pm - 3am Times: 8pm - 2am Venue: Maze Wibble Vs Psycle Venue: Market Bar The Parallelograms, Pocketbooks, Plus Black River Project Price: £4 / £5 Venue: Igloo Times: 10pm - 4am The Deirdres and DSFAR DJs. and Detonal State. Times: 8pm - 11ish Times: 10pm - late

Josie Long compares, acts tbc. Evile Farmyard Xmas Party Stealth V Rescued Venue: Rock City Venue: Maze Saturday 15/12 Christmas with The Rat Pack Venue: Stealth Price: £3.50 Price: Free Venue: Royal Centre Price: Free / £5 / £6 Jeff Wayne’s The War of The Times: 9pm Price: £21.50 - £27.50 Times: 9pm - 4am Young Gods Worlds Left of the Dealer, Six Nation State Times: 7.30pm Matt Tolfrey, DJ Hal and more tbc. Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Nottingham Arena and Guest TBA.

Price: £9 Price: £39.50 Censored Times: 8pm Tuesday 18/12 Audiophile Venue: Junktion 7 Kris Ward Style: Disco, Electro Price: £4 Venue: Southbank Bar Folkwit Christmas Special LeftLion Unplugged Venue: Moog Times: 8pm - 2am Price: Free Venue: Deux Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free before 10pm

Times: 8pm Price: £3 Price: Free Times: 8pm - late Times: 8.30pm Times: 8pm - 11pm Nick Davey, Smokey P, Chosen Monday 24/12 Hidden Talents (women only) Ones and Supine. Venue: Maze Satnamstash Dawn Pickering Andy Whittle and Friends Price: £3 / £5 Venue: Hubb Venue: Hubb DIY and Smokescreen Xmas Venue: Deux Times: 8.30pm Price: Free Style: House Price: £5 / £7 Times: 8.30 - late Wednesday 19/12 Venue: Market Bar Times: 8.30pm Sarah Clifee and Wallace Price: Free Venue: Walkabout Credit To The Edit 2007 Thunder Xmas Knees Up Times: Until 4am Christmas Eve Party Price: £2 Venue: Market Bar Venue: Rock City Littlemen, Digs and Whoosh, Venue: Hubb Times: 10pm - 2am Price: £6 / £8 (NUS) Price: £29 and Simon DK. Price: Free Times: 10pm - 6am Times: 6pm – late Radar Greg Wilson, Nick Shaw, Ed Cotton Mcdonald Bros Doodle Venue: Bodega Social and Crazy P. Venue: Maze Style: Indie, Electro Times: 11pm - 3am Times: 8pm Venue: Bodega Social DJs Joel, Aoife 3000 and Ross. Adam Bomb Price: Free / £3 Venue: Rock City The Arcane Price: £3.50 Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £3 Bad Dog Times: 7.30pm - 12am Venue: Southbank Bar Plus Kalena, Benno Blum Price: Free and Karl Wakeling. Times: 8pm

Supernight / Not in Nottingham

Friday 14/12 Venue: Maze

Price: £3 Misst Times: 8.30pm Style: Dubstep, Dub Yunioshi, Don Ramos, Orchards, Venue: Marcus Garvey Fists, Cuban Crimewave and Price: £6 / £7 (NUS) Sidecar Swampy. Times: 10pm - 3am

Distance, Headhunter, Distinction The Creepshow and Blitz b2b BashyFlash. Venue: Bodega Social

Price: £6 The Pogues Times: 7pm - 10pm Venue: Nottingham Arena

Price: £28.50 Higness Sound-System Times: 6.30pm Style: Roots, Reggae, Dub

Venue: Bodega Social Roy De Wired Price: £5 Venue: Approach Times: 11pm - 4am Price: Free

Times: 7pm Stealth V Rescued

Venue: Stealth Old Basford Price: Free / £5 / £6 Venue: Hubb Times: 9pm - 4am Price: Free Nathan Coles, Mark Pearson Times: 7pm and Sam Phillips.

Good Shoes Bison Venue: Rescue Rooms Venue: Junktion 7 Price: £8 Price: £5 (NUS)

Times: 9pm - 2am Kill Hannah Inland Knights and Paul Murphy. Venue: Rock City listings... music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre

Thursday 27/12 Monday 31/12 Friday 04/01 Sunday 13/01 Sunday 20/01

The Wilkinson Brothers LeftLion New Years Eve Johann Strauss Gala The Establishment Roy De Wired Venue: Hubb Venue: The Orange Tree Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Southbank Bar Guitar Keyboard Grooves from Price: £10 adv Price: £17.50 - £23.50 Price: Free Price: Free Sunny . Times: 9pm - 2am Times: 7.30pm Times: 8pm Times: 8pm The last two LeftLion New Year’s Tom Wardle Plastic Milk Bottle Random Hand parties have been fantastic and sold Venue: Walkabout Venue: Junktion 7 Monday 14/01 Venue: Maze out fast. This year we have Kids in Price: £2 Price: £4 Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Tracksuits, Yunioshi, Stiff Kittens, Roy Stone Times: 10pm - 2am Times: 8pm - 2am Times: 9pm MC Killa and Karizma. Join us! Venue: Southbank Bar Plus Piano and Second Monday. Plus Minus Society and Kerbface. Price: Free

Firefly NYE Allnighter Times: 8pm Friday 28/12 The Paul Poulton Project Default This Venue: Marcus Garvey Venue: Hubb Venue: Bodega Social Roy De Wired Styles: Techno, Breaks Rock, Funk, Blues – sounds like Price: £5 adv Venue: Approach Price: £10 / £20 / more otd Tuesday 15/01 Paul Simon in a rock band. Times: 7pm - 11pm Price: Free Times: 10pm - 6am LeftLion Unplugged Meet Me in St Louis, Nephu Times: 7pm Freeform 5, Elite Force, Jeet, Max Venue: Malt Cross Huzzband, You Slut! and Blakfish. Cooper, Ross Eden and more tbc. Saturday 05/01 Price: Free Misst Vs Wigflex Times: 8pm - 11pm Venue: Igloo Highness New Years Eve Joe Strange Band Monday 21/01 Price: tbc Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Approach Chris Mcdonald Times: 9pm Price: £10 Price: Free Courteeners Venue: Hubb Times: 10pm - 4am Times: 9pm Venue: Rescue Rooms

Sublogik Price: £8.50 Venue: Maze Spectrum NYE Jason Heart Band Wednesday 16/01 Price: £3 / £4 Style: Breaks, Electro Venue: Southbank Bar Kris Ward Times: 9pm Venue: Dogma Price: Free Urban Intro Venue: Southbank Bar Price: £5 (NUS) Times: 8pm Venue: Approach Price: Free Dollop Times: 9pm - 3am Price: Free Times: 8pm Style: Indie, Electro, Amusements Parks on Fire (tbc) Times: 7pm Venue: Bodega Social Wholesome Fish NYE Venue: Maze

Price: Free / £3 Venue: Deux Times: 9pm Kevin Montgomery Band Tuesday 22/01

Times: 11pm - 3am Price: £6 Satans Minions, Good Luck Fox Venue: Maze Acoustic Tuesdays Times: 8pm and Cuban Crimewave. Price: £15 Venue: Malt Cross Times: 7.30pm Price: Free Saturday 29/12 New Years Eve Party Plus Shurman and Andrea Glass. Times: 8pm - 11pm Venue: Hubb Tuesday 08/01 Ronnie Groove Lounge Price: Free

Style: Sixties Times: 8pm – late Max Johnson and Company Thursday 17/01 Sarah Bard

Venue: Grosvenor Venue: Hubb Venue: Hubb Deli Price: £4 NYE - Erol Alkan Price: Free Venue: Hubb Times: 8pm-1am Venue: Stealth Plain White T’s Venue: Rock City Price: £16 The Midlands Dance Club Thursday 10/01 Performance Price: £11

Venue: Hubb Venue: Approach Bullet for My Valentine Jan Rich, Wayne and Miff Price: Free Price: Free British Sea Power Venue: Rock City Venue: Hubb Times: 8.30 – late Times: 9pm Venue: Rescue Rooms Price: £20 Price: £12 Urban Intro Venus Reunion Party Richard Howells Band New Years Eve Party Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Market Bar Venue: Southbank Bar A Wilhelm Scream Venue: Rock City Price: Free Price: £6 / £8 (NUS) Price: Free Venue: Rock City Price: £10 Times: 8pm Times: 10pm - 4am Times: 8pm Price: £7

Jamies Baillie presents a night New Years Eve Party Night of Doom of music from 1991 - 1995 with Venue: Maze Friday 11/01 The Mouth Venue: Maze Christian Woodyatt, Paul Wain, Price: £8 Venue: Bodega Social Roy De Wired Times: 8.30pm Timm, Thatcher, Laurie and Dean. Times: 7pm - late Price: £5 adv Venue: Approach Hordes of Satan, DJ Mordor Left of the Dealer, Penny Black, Times: 8pm - 11pm Price: Free and more tbc. Joe Strange Band Jimmy the Squirrel, Freaky Times: 9pm Venue: Approach Riverstyx, Mindless Raskals Paul Potts

Price: Free and Majik. Venue: Royal Centre Joe Strange Band Times: 8pm Price: £23.50 Venue: Southbank Bar Friday 18/01 Plus Roy De Wired New Years Eve Times: 7.30pm Price: Free Venue: Bodega Social Phat Phidelity Presents Smokescreen Times: 8pm Times: 10pm - 3am Venue: Junktion 7 Venue: Maze Wednesday 23/01 Price: £2 adv. £4 door Price: Free Hothouse Theatre Mag Night Sinfonia ViVA New Years Eve Times: 8pm - late Avenged Sevenfold Times: 10pm Venue: Maze Venue: Royal Centre Girlfixer, Nephu Huzzband, Venue: Rock City Price: £4 Price: £12 - £27 Bambino, Roller City Facepack and Price: £17 Electronica Times: 8pm Times: 7.30pm Dee Christopher (illusionist). Style: Electronica Alison Moyet Venue: Templars Bar New Years Eve Party Joe Strange Band Venue: Royal Centre Times: 10pm - 4am Venue: Junktion 7 Saturday 12/01 Venue: Southbank Bar Price: £25

Price: Free Price: Free Times: 7pm The Hu$tle Times: 9pm - 4am LeftLion Presents Times: 8pm Style: Funk, Soul, Hiphop Sheriff Fatman, Zenith Venue: The Orange Tree

Venue: Bodega Social and Millicent Grove. Price: Free Ambush Thursday 24/01

Price: Free / £3 Times: 8pm - 12am Style: Dubstep, DnB Linkin Park Times: 11pm - 3am Penny Black, Rebel Soul Collective Venue: Templars Bar Venue: Nottingham Arena Daddy Bones, Detail Thursday 03/01 and Stiff Kittens DJs. Times: 10pm - 4am Price: £29.50 - £40 and King Kalhua. The Establishment Noodle Venue: Approach Jason Heart Style: Techno, Electro Sunday 30/12 Price: Free Saturday 19/01 Venue: Southbank Bar Venue: Moog Times: 7pm Price: Free The Glenn Miller Orchestra Price: free Midlands Dance Club Times: 8pm Venue: Royal Centre Times: 8pm - 2am Jan Wendy Kirkland Band Venue: Hubb Price: £13 - £17.50 Darkmode (live), Matt Hinton (live) Venue: Hubb Funhouse Comedy Times: 5pm and DJ Weiss. Organ, guitar and drums trio. Joe Strange Band Venue: Maze

Venue: Approach Price: £4 / £5 (NUS) Joe Strange Band Price: Free Times: 8pm Monday 31/12 Venue: Approach Friday 04/01 Times: 9pm Daliso Chaponda, Elliot Potter and Price: Free Audiophile NYE Party compere Spiky Mike. Times: 9pm Style: Reggae, House, Techno Urban Intro The Messengers

Venue: Ride Bar Venue: Bunkers Hill Inn Venue: Southbank Bar Wild Wood Price: £5 adv Price: Free Price: Free Friday 25/01 Venue: Southbank Bar Times: 7pm - late Times: 9pm Times: 8pm Price: Free Stone Gods Raw Hedroom, Rhythm Plate, Times: 8pm Venue: Rock City Frakah, ZeroZero, Mood Gremlin, Charity Gig Smokescreen Price: £11 Stunt Brothers, Chosen Ones v Venue: Maze Venue: Maze Hidden Talents (women only) Rogue Fingers and Supine. Price: Donations Times: 9pm Venue: Maze Joe Strange Band Emmit Brown, Penny Black, Price: £3 / £5 Venue: Southbank Bar New Year Log Jam Apocolyptic Vibrations and Architect James Blunt Times: 8.30pm Price: Free Venue: Loggerheads of Autumn. Plus a winter hog roast. Venue: Royal Centre

Price: Free Price: Sold out Wildside Club Night Some of the finest acoustic talent in Times: 7pm Venue: Junktion 7 and around Nottingham. Times: 9pm - 2am

listings... music / weeklies / comedy /exhibitions / theatre

Friday 25/01 Wednesday 30/01 Tuesdays Thursdays Saturdays

OAS3 Carmina Chilled Out Tuesdays Dogma Presents Road Block Venue: Maze Venue: Maze Style: Acoustic, Folk, Blues Style: Hiphop, Breaks Style: Boogie, Hiphop, Jazz Price: £6 (NUS) Price: £8 adv (NUS) Venue: Hubb Venue: Dogma Venue: Loggerheads Times: 8.30pm Times: 7.30pm Price: Free Price: Varies (NUS) Price: Free Plus Essex Pistols and more tbc. Plus Diarmaid Moynihan. Times: 7pm Times: 9pm - 2am with DJ Daddio and special guests. Acoustic, folk and bluesy hues from Magic - A Kind of Queen bands and singer-songwriters . Club NME Rise and Shine / Funk You

Venue: Royal Centre Thursday 31/01 Style: Indie, Rock, Alternative Style: Alternative, Acoustic

Price: £13.50 / £15 Venue: Stealth Venue: The Cookie Club The Establishment Times: 7.30pm Wednesdays Price: £2 - £4 (NUS) Price: £5 Venue: Approach Times: 10pm - 2am Times: 10.30pm - 3am Price: Free Urban Intro

Times: 9pm Venue: Approach Saturday 26/01 Jazz Night Distortion Price: Free Venue: Variety Club Style: Rock, Alternative The Almighty Mark James Times: 7pm Price: Free Venue: Rock City Venue: Rock City Venue: Southbank Bar Followed by salsa dancing. Times: 7.30pm doors Price: £5 Price: £16 Price: Free Live music and vegetarian food. Full Times: 9pm - 2.30am Times: 8pm Showcase of relaxed, friendly people. Joe Strange Band Venue: Loggerheads Variegated Saturdays Venue: Approach Price: Free Live Thursdays Venue: Hubb Price: Free Weeklies Times: 8pm Venue: Golden Fleece Price: Free Times: 9pm Mondays A range of events including acoustic Price: Free Times: 7pm sets, poetry, visual art, film, dance, Times: 8pm T Diamond performing art and comedy. Rock Jam Session Venue: Southbank Bar Style: Rock Jazzy Thursdays Sundays Price: Free The Big Wednesday Venue: Running Horse Venue: Hubb Times: 8pm Style: Alternative, Rock, Pop Sunday Jam Sessions Price: Free Price: Free Venue: The Cookie Club Venue: Loggerheads Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 7pm Burlesque Night Price: £2.50 (NUS) Price: Free

Venue: Maze Times: 10.30pm - 2am Times: 8pm Motherfunker Poker Night Times: 9pm Venue: The Cookie Club Venue: Loggerheads Plus Essex Pistols and more tbc. LeftLion Pub Quiz Jazz Price: £1 before 11pm Price: Free Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Bell Inn Times: 8.30pm - 12am Times: 8pm Electronica Times: 8.30pm Price: Free Read ‘em and weep with some Style: Dubstep, DnB Times: 12.30pm - 3am Open Decks Night Texas hold ‘em! Venue: Templars Bar Wigflex Venue: Loggerheads Times: 10pm - 4am Price: Free Style: Hiphop, DnB, Dubstep The Underground Sessions Times: 8pm Venue: Dogma Fridays Venue: Snug Bring your tunes and your mates. Price: Free Price: Free Times: 9pm - late Friday Fever Times: 9pm - 4am

Sunday 27/01 Venue: Loggerheads

Tuesdays Electric Banana Price: Free Moog is Sunday Robyn Hitchcock Venue: Social Times: 8pm - 1.30am Venue: Moog Venue: Rescue Rooms Games Night Price: £2 Price: Free Price: £14 Venue: Loggerheads Times: 10.30pm - 3am Fridays Times: 12pm - 12am

Price: Free Venue: Approach Times: 8pm Price: Free We Love Monday 28/01 Thursdays Times: 5pm - 2am Style: Acoustic

Kerrang Tour 2008 Local Band Night Acoustic sets from local artists, Venue: Deux Open Mic Night Venue: Rock City Venue: Approach followed by Roy De Wired. Price: Free Venue: Loggerheads Price: £16 Price: Free Times: 8pm Price: Free Times: 7pm Love Shack Eclectic open mic night. Times: 8pm Tom Wardle Style: Nineties

Venue: Southbank Bar Liquid Silk Venue: Rock City Reggae Roast Word of Mouth Price: Free Venue: Muse Price: £4 / £5 Style: Reggae Style: Hiphop Times: 8pm Price: Free Times: 9.30pm - 2am Venue: Golden Fleece Venue: Muse Times: 7.30pm A haven of chilled acoustic sounds Price: less than a pint Pop.Your_Funk Jazz at the Bell Tuesday 29/01 provided. Bringing you the finest quality acts Venue: Bluu Style: Jazz for your acoustical enchantment. Accoustic Tuesdays Price: Free Venue: Bell Inn Crash Venue: Malt Cross Times: 9pm - late Price: Free Venue: Rock City Folk Thursday Price: Free Price: £3 (NUS) Venue: Loft Times: 8pm - 11pm Hubbub Times: 9.30pm - 2am Price: Free Venue: Hubb Notts’ longest running indie night. Times: 8pm The Evil Sweeties Price: Free

Venue: Hubb Times: 7pm The Horseshoe Lounge The Fab 4

Style: Country Venue: Approach Gay For Johnny Depp To get listed on these pages, add Venue: Deux Price: Free Saturdays Venue: Rock City your event to leftlion.co.uk. By Price: Free Times: 7pm Price: £7 doing so we’ll include you in the Times: 8pm Mass Appeal Homegrown magazine, it’s completely free and Americana, bluegrass and country. Venue: Muse After The Party Presents Venue: Deux simple to do. Use this form: Price: Free Venue: Maze Price: Free Times: 10pm - 2am Tam White. Tuesdays Times: 7pm leftlion.co.uk/add

Saturday Night Live Nine Black Alps Accoustic Tuesdays Noodle Venue: Deux Please note. We try to ensure that all Venue: Bodega Social Style: Acoustic Venue: The Spot Price: Free events are correct at time of print, Price: £8 adv Venue: Malt Cross Price: Free Times: 7pm but always check with the venue or Times: 8pm - 11pm Price: Free Times: 8pm promoter before you set off to avoid Times: 8pm disapointment. MAGNETThe only purpose built professional rehearsal space in Nottingham

Unit 2, Davisella House, Newark St, Nottingham 4 rehearsal rooms - lock-ups, chill out area & refreshments Tel: 0115 9243324 Spares Shop - strings, leads, straps, fuses, etc. www.magnetstudios.co.uk Splitter Van Rental & Backline Hire listings... music / weeklies / comedy / exhibitions / theatre

Comedy Exhibitions Tuesday 11/12 Theatre Saturday 12/01

Sunday 02/12 Saturday 01/12 What Paint Can Do (part two) Saturday 01/12 Twinkle Little Star

Venue: Malt Cross Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Just The Tonic Open Exhibition Dick Whittington Price: Free Price: £5 - £12 Venue: Approach Venue: Angel Row Gallery Venue: Playhouse Times: 11am-6pm Times: Various Price: £5.50 / £7.50 (NUS) Price: Free Price: £14.50 - £18 Up and coming artists Olivia Pilling Meet Harold Thropp (Kenneth Times: 7.15pm Featuring fine art and craft from Times: Various and Beth Shapeero present the final Alan Taylor). Sitting in his dingy Rob Deering, Liam Mullone both established and emerging Dick Whittington sets forth on stage of their show. An exhibition basement dressing room, he and Matt Reed. artists and makers. This annual the road to London: the city where of contemporary, abstract painting prepares to become Widow event brings together painting, the streets are paved with gold, from Nottingham. Twankey for the final time. Now the photography, film, printmaking, the city in which Mrs Fitzwarren Runs Until: 16/12 wrong side of sixty he feels his best Thursday 06/12 sculpture, jewellery, textiles, and her lovely daughter Alice live years are behind him. As he looks ceramics and glass. and the city that the evil King Rat Martin Davies back on a life well lived Harold Runs Until: 20/12 calls home. Venue: Maze Saturday 15/12 realises that sometimes letting go Runs Until: 19/01 Price: £6 (NUS) is the hardest thing to do. Chris Orgill - FeatherScape Christmas Fair Times: 8pm Runs Until: 26/01 Venue: The Yard Gallery Venue: View from The Top Brian and Krysstal, Dan Price: Free Price: Free Friday 07/12 Bland and compère Spiky Mike. A new body of work by artist Times: Various Peter Pan Monday 14/01 Chris Orgill is the result of careful Unique designer-made gifts, Venue: Royal Centre observations of birds and wildlife including millinery, ironwork, Sunday 09/12 Price: £10 - £19.50 in their natural habitat. Studio photography, paintings, baby Times: various Just The Tonic paintings will be shown alongside clothes, wooden gifts, textiles Runs Until: 20/01 Venue: Approach a selection of field sketches and and jewellery.

Price: £7.50 / £5.50 (NUS) notes, depicting British wildlife and Runs Until: 23/12 Posy Simmonds and Bryan Times: 7.15pm those observed during visits to Talbot Mick Ferry, Isy Suttie Majorca and Kefalonia. Venue: Page45 and Matt Reed. Runs Until: 06/01 Friday 11/01 Price: Free

Lace and Slavery Symposium Times: 1pm - 3pm

Wednesday 12/12 Venue: Broadway The Vagina Monologues Price: Free Venue: Royal Centre Jimmy Carr Times: 11am - 5pm Monday 10/12 Price: £13 - £22 Venue: Royal Centre An investigation into connections Chuckle Brothers Aladdin Times: 6pm, 8pm, 9pm Price: £18.50 / £19.50 between the British lace industry Venue: Royal Centre Runs Until: 18/01 Times: 8pm and the slave trade. Speakers Price: £12.50 / £15 include artist Godfried Donkor in Times: 7pm conversation with Frank Abbott. Friday 14/12 Tuesday 22/01

Robin Hood Up Close Tuesday 11/12 She Stops To Conquer The Bootleg Beatles Venue: Nottingham Castle Saturday 12/01 Venue: Royal Centre Venue: Royal Centre Nottingham’s most famous legend Merry Xmas Everybody Price: £8 - £22.50 Price: £18.50 / £21.50 has returned to the Castle. An Once Upon A Time In The West Venue: Royal Centre Times: 7.30pm / 2.30pm Times: 8pm exhibition of the actual props and There Was Lace Price: £21.50 / £22.50 A story about two young men, costumes used in the BBC series. Venue: The Yard Gallery Times: 8pm Charles Marlow and George Find out what goes on behind the Price: Free Tuesday 18/12 The band Mud perform their smash Hasting and their attempts to court scenes, see the costumes up close Times: 11am - 4pm hit Lonely This Christmas. Slade Kate Hardcastle and her friend and hear how it all comes together Artist Godfried Donkor investigates CBeebies Live perform the world-wide hit Merry Constance Neville. in the Robin Hood Academy. poignant connections between Venue: Nottingham Arena Xmas Everybody. Plus T-Rextasy. Runs Until: 26/01 Nottingham’s lace trade and Price: £12.50 - £21.50 Runs Until: 01/06 Times: 2.10pm and 5.10pm international slavery for an

Featuring The Teletubbies. Nottingham’s Islamic Collection exhibition of collages incorporating Wednesday 09/01 Sunday 27/01

Venue: Nottingham Castle 18th Century prints, contemporary Funhouse Comedy An exhibition presenting a group photography and media cuttings. Vanessa Miller School of Dance Venue: Maze of historical Islamic objects drawn Curated by Michael Forbes. Venue: Royal Centre Price: £4 from the city’s world cultures, Runs Until: 10/02 Price: £12 Times: 8pm costume and decorative art Times: 7pm Funhouse brings a mix of collections. Selected with help from First Western Atlas Of China experienced and new comic talent members of Nottingham’s Muslim Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Price: Free Monday 28/01 from around the midlands for its communities. Times: All day regular competition. Between ten Runs Until: 01/05 The 39 Steps A selection of fifteen maps recently and fifteen acts take the stage and Venue: Royal Centre acquired for the Manuscript the audience votes on whether they Price: £10 - £23 Tuesday 04/12 Department’s Special Collection Moscow State Circus should stay or let someone else Times: 7.30pm / 2.30pm from the first Western Atlas of Venue: Royal Centre have a go. What Paint Can Do (part one) Runs Until: 02/02 China and Japan. Price: £12 - £20

Venue: Malt Cross Times: 2pm, 5pm, 8pm Runs Until: 24/02 Price: Free Runs Until: 13/01 Sunday 23/12 Times: 11am-6pm The first part of a contemporary abstract painting exhibition, showing works of emerging artists Jon Kipps and Beth Shapeero. Runs Until: 09/12

Just The Tonic Wednesday 05/12 Pantomime Season Venue: Approach Price: £7.50 / £5.50 (NUS) A Singular Vision Times: 7.15pm Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre ‘Tis the season to find things to do in order to keep the traps of Nottingham’s nippers Dan Nightingale, Matt Reed and Price: Free guest tbc. Times: 11am - 5pm shut for an afternoon, and the obvious answer is to shove a slab of Fruit and Nut Dod Procter lived in west Cornwall into their chatty maws and let them enjoy the age-old tradition of watching some Thursday 27/12 all her life but travelled extensively, comedy transvestites. And slap our collective thighs, but Nottingham has four Pantos including to Burma with her to choose from this year (and don’t start that ‘oh,no there isn’t’ rubbish – how dare Ken Dodd husband Ernest Procter. Whether Venue: Royal Centre at home or abroad, she painted you accuse us of lying). Price: £16 / £18 landscapes, portraits of children Times: 7pm and still-lifes. If it’s star value you’re after, it gets no better than the Chuckle Brothers’ ‘tachetastic Runs Until: 17/02 one-night-only interpolation of Aladdin at the Royal Centre on Monday 10 December. Monday 31/12 If you’re hankering to see the obligatory ex-soapstar in tiny shorts and kinky boots, Thursday 06/12 Just The Tonic NYE hie thysen to the Theatre Royal, where Frankie Baldwin out of Coronation Street Venue: Approach Birds, Beasts and Flowers takes the lead in Peter Pan, with the one and only Boycie in the Captain Hook role. Price: £23.50 (NUS) Venue: Lakeside Arts Centre Times: 7.15pm Price: Free Simon Bligh, Carl Donnelly, Matt Times: 11am - 4pm Obviously, the true Notts option is at the Playhouse, where Kenneth Alan Taylor Reed and guest tbc. Exploring some of the historical takes the reins for the 24th time with his own version of Dick Whittington, before aspects of our relationship with starring in the absolutely-no-way-for-kids Twinkle Little Star at the Lakeside in the natural world. Travels abroad Sunday 20/01 January (as a fading Panto dame whose best years are, ahem, behind him), and by explorers such as Captain Cook revealed the rich flora and fauna giving talks about his career in tights and pancake. Shame there’s no red-hot Su of foreign countries and stimulated Pollard-action this year, but you can’t have everything. Book early! study and collecting at home. Just The Tonic With John Hegley Runs Until: 25/03 Venue: Approach www.nottinghamplayhouse.co.uk Price: £12.50 / £11 (NUS) www.royalcentre-nottingham.co.uk

Times: 7.15pm www.lakesidearts.org.uk If you’ve got a brain and would like the opportunity to kill it with alcohol, the LeftLion Pub Quiz at the Golden Fleece on Mansfield Road is where you should be every Wednesday, round about 9pm. But come earlier, because it gets rammed out dead quick. We give a gallon of beer to the winning team, the quizmaster’s Nana gets on her Bontempi organ for a few tunes, and the Fish Man comes round when he feels like it. Here’s a sample of what we’ve been asking recently…

FOOD AND DRINK 14. ’s pet llama shared his name with songs by RUBBISH FILMS THAT GIRLS LIKE the Kingsmen, Hot Chocolate and Modern Talking. What was 1. What fruit is used in the making of Babycham? 26. Which rubbish film that girls like depicts the relationship he called? 2. What kind of meat did Basil spend an entire episode of Fawlty between Sam Baldwin and Annie Reed? 15. In the world of Llamas, what is an orgle - a saddle for Towers trying to fetch from a restaurant for his gourmet night, 27. Which rubbish film that girls like depicts the relationship carrying things, a mating call, or a female? only to mistakenly present a trifle? between Vivian Ward and Edward Lewis? 3. Within 50 either side, how many calories are there in a 28. Within 2 years either side, in what year is the film Dirty Big Mac? Dancing set? 4. What was Richard and Eddie’s favourite alcoholic drink in Bottom? 16. Name Grange Hill’s two neighbouring rival schools 29. Which musical film originally had Henry Winkler and Marie 17. Jeremy Irvine was the first Grange Hill character to be killed 5. How do you turn a rooster into a capon? Osmond as the romantic leads, but they turned them down? off. How did he die? 30. The original Bridget Jones diary entries were serialised in 18. What was so special about the introduction of Mr Brisley in which newspaper? THE BROADMARSH CENTRE 1992? 6. The Broadmarsh Centre has the largest what in the country? 19. Within 2 either side, how many series of Grange Hill have 7. The Westfield Group, owners of the Broadmarsh Centre, come there been? from which English-speaking country? 20. Which well-known Grange Hill character was played by 8. Within 2 years either side, when was the Broadmarsh Erkan Mustafa?

Centre opened?

The Independent The 30. Grease 29. (1961-65) 1963

9. What’s the name of the shop with the monkey in the window? 28.

Woman Pretty 27. Seattle In Sleepless 26. £1.20 25. PEAS (1890-1900)

10. W ithin 5 either side, how many shops are there in the

1895 1895 24. Oyl Olive and Popeye 23. Brown James 22.

21. Who wrote the childrens’ story The Princess and the Pea? Andersen

Broadmarsh Centre?

Hans Christian Christian Hans 21. Browning Roland 20. (28-32) 30 19.

22. Which soul singer’s band had a hit single of their own called teacher

He was the first gay gay first the was He 18. pool swimming a in Drowned

LLAMAS Pass The Peas? 17.

Rodney Bennett and Brookdale Brookdale and Bennett Rodney 16. call mating A 15. Louie

23. In the world of cartoons, who are the parents of Swee’Pea? 14.

11. Which continent did Llamas originate from, even though wild

12 months (11-13) (11-13) months 12 13. (69-75) 72 12. America North 11.

ones are extinct there now? 24. Within 5 years either side, when were the first tinned peas (81-91) 86

10. Shoes Scott’s Gordon 9. (1970-74) 1972 8. Australia 7.

put on sale? Maxx

12. Within 3 years either side, how old is the Dalai Lama?

TK TK 6. it Castrate 5. Malibu 4. (490-590) 540 3. Duck 2. Pears

25. What was the price of a pot of peas at the proper stall at 1.

13. Within one month either side, how long are llamas Goose Fair this year? ANSWERS: pregnant for?

Real Ales Real Music Real Christmassy

Deux, Clumber Avenue, Sherwood Rise, Nottm 0115 856724, 07770 226926, www.hoteldeux.com

www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 35 Oh Nottingham, is full of fun... words: James Walker illustration: Michael Lomon

If you want to let out a primal scream these days you have to do it a new song has begun. They are a fickle lot here. You can just under controlled conditions or else the locals think you’re nuts. picture them flicking away on the sofa with the remote, never With this in mind I’m off to the City Ground for a good old able to settle on a channel. fashioned sing-song where it’s a mix of hot dogs, swearing, ‘Sit down, shut up! Sit down, shut up!’ fags and burps. The fans are in their thousands, amassing on the centre from the surrounding I think the problem with this lot is that they don’t suburbs. From the sky it must look like some kind really know how to swear properly. The songs are of Santa Claus convention with the scarves, hats colourful, humorous even, but are lacking real and shirts rendering the once grey streets red. venom. As it stands their insults sound I’d hoped that the communal chant of a like veiled compliments. I’m sure football match would placate my growing they would be a lot happier disillusionment with the world, but if they really let go, said it doesn’t. It only confirms I was what they wanted to say, in right. It is an incredibly expensive rhymes of course. Perhaps temporary distraction; thank they should be deprived of goodness I don’t need food for the week prior to a escapism every week. I’d match, or locked up in the have to get a second job and shed. That would get the the first one isn’t that great. creative juices flowing. Not The crowd are expectant, only would they come armed offering match predictions with pent-up aggression but born of the heart not the the savings made on food could head. They are paying for be used to purchase the latest kit. hope, a more accessible form of salvation than that once The game becomes dull for ten offered at church. If they don’t minutes and the songs are replaced win it this year, there is always with sighs. One man starts to read the next. And the next. Amen. his paper. A small kid gets out his Gameboy, preferring Super Mario There are many songs on offer over the Super Reds. He keeps but they are all about the club getting killed by Bowser and so or the sheep-shaggers, our returns it to his pocket. Then it is pantomime enemy. But it is the half time and a young girl from Trent fans I want to communicate FM is being ushered to the side of the with, not the team. They have pitch, ready for the half time raffle draw. more urgency in their eyes than They erupt, barking out demands. the overpriced first eleven. ‘Get your tits out, get your tits out, get your ‘Who are ya, who are ya?’ They tits out for the lads...’ chant in that flat Nottingham The girl denies them this simple request, just dialect. like the wife, the bank and the boss. For the ‘James’ I scream back ‘I’m James, who football fan it is a world of ever-diminishing are you?’ number returns. But they are undeterred and keep one fan’ Unsurprisingly, they cannot hear my specifics other singing, one member of the congregation ‘Well I’m Forest’s number and think that I am singing along. and revealing a particularly high pitched one steward, so ger ‘em ‘Stand up if you hate Derby, stand up if you shouting voice. You have to admire them for their back on or else your owt of hate Derby’ they sing. when they perseverance. ere’ ‘Stand up if you hate your job’ I reply. don’t get it back. ‘Get your cocks out, get your cocks out, get Honestly some people just ‘Stand up if you hate your wife’ Then Forest score your cocks out for the girls’ enjoy ruining your fun. ‘Stand up if you hate yourself, stand up...’ again, turning a £25 I don’t know if it’s because my more ‘Oh Nottingham, oh Nottingham, But Forest score and my words are lost ticket into £8.33 a goal. contemporary version doesn’t rhyme, but it is full of fun, is full of fun, oh Nottingham is beneath the roar. That sounds a lot better on the doesn’t go down too well and before I know it, full of fun. It’s full of tits, fanny and Forest, oh When they add a second five minutes later I tongue. A man a few seats down from me flays someone is trying to lamp me. Nottingham is full of fun’ jump from my seat and throw my arms around his arms in the air as if calling for help. He is… ‘Fuckin’ idiot’ the nearest man. Then jump down three rows he just doesn’t realise it yet. Another rips off his ‘You’re just jealous you didn’t think on it first’ Although this is all statistically true they have and start to cuddle another. shirt and exposes a fully tattooed chest, either omitted a lot of other important cultural factors ‘Geroff you gret gaylord’ says a scarf clad that or he has circulation problems. I want to This football malarkey is all very confusing. of which we should be just as proud, such as devotee as he pushes me to the floor. feel part of this mass audience and so decide I just can’t seem to get the hang of who you Nottingham Castle and Holme Pierrepont. They As I get up I point at the huddled players. to strip off as well, instead opting to hurl my are meant to hate and when. But it’s always have also failed to recognise that Nottingham ‘I’m only imitating our heroes’ trousers up in the air. been like this in Nottingham. I’ve only just got has two shopping centres, whilst our perceived ‘What you doin’ ya gret clown?’ asks a steward. used to blaming the blacks for nicking all our arch enemy Derby, only has one. I return to my seat and sing some more songs. After checking nobody has removed their jobs and now they tell me it’s the Poles. I wish Before I have a chance to start promoting Fortunately they are easy to learn. The players underwear I retort ‘proving I am Forest’s someone would make their mind up… run around the pitch passing their toy to each Sneinton Windmill and other notable landmarks RIKKI MARR 2007

36 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 Write Lion... Rioting, dead animals, tampax and loss. Here’s the latest abridged offerings from the Write Lion forum at www.leftlion.co.uk. If you would like your work featured on this page, get on there and start posting. Each issue we select the best submissions in there to publish in here. We would also like to congratulate Jack Twatt for one year’s worth of entertaining spleen and St0gey for some excellent tutorship. Keep up the good work!

The notice in the newsagents was succinct the vilest of their plans but let me tell you and yet full of promise: right here and now: We won’t!’ Ronnie roared RIOTERS WANTED! The Nottingham Riots the last two words out, unfortunately causing The Hockley Undeniable Riot Troupe (HURT) Marjorie to spill her tea. Marjorie muttered will meet this Thursday evening at The occupied by two extravagantly bearded sounds cushty. If you go off and see Marjorie something under her breath that sounded like Broadway. All oppressed souls welcome. Tea figures deep in conversation. I guessed them over there, she’ll sort you out.’ He pointed to ‘twat’. Ronnie continued. and sandwiches provided, BYO conspiracy to be Ronnie and Ralphy Tweet: the two most a large middle-aged woman pouring tea from theories and unharnessed anger. famous Nottingham Rioters of their generation. a large pot in the corner. ‘Now if you’ll excuse ‘The question, people, is what do we do about I nodded to myself and vowed to be there. They’d manned more barricades than I’d had us, we’ve got a roomful of righteous anger to it? How do we free ourselves from the tyranny Thursday soon came round and I made my way hot dinners and their Molotov Cocktails were rouse, haven’t we Ralphy?’ I left the infamous of the state? What can we do to turn back to The Broadway as directed. A tall, scowling admired worldwide. I made my way over to pair to tune up and pushed through the crowd the powers of darkness and lead ourselves figure in black stood with a clipboard at the them, somewhat nervously. to get to Marjorie who quickly produced some back into the promised land?’ Ronnie let the entrance. forms to sign before grabbing me roughly by question hang in the air until a small voice ‘Excuse me, err, Mister and Mister Tweet, but the arm and pulling me tightly to her ample piped up: ‘Rioter?’ he asked, with more than a hint of can I just say what a great turn-out this is. You bosom. menace, I felt. must be chuffed… both of you!’ ‘I know.’ It was Dominic Stuart, Nottingham’s ‘Yup, that’s me!’ I answered, chirpily. ‘Here. Yer not undercover are ya?’ fiercest child rioter. Being of limited stature ‘Right: go to the bar and ask for half a Bakunin, ‘Aye its not bad,’ Ronnie replied in a ‘Who me? Undercover? No chance Marjorie: and fleet of foot, Dominic Stuart was able to then take the Secret Revolutionary Lift up to surprisingly friendly manner, ‘Not bad at all. I’m up for a new world order, big time. Bang up penetrate enemy lines without detection time the roof. If anyone asks, you’re here to see Ken We thought we wouldn’t get that many in, for it. Let’s have it!’ and again and as such had performed many Loach. Got it?’ what with The Anarchists having their pub ‘Good, cos if you were….’ Marjorie tailed off acts of the utmost bravery. ‘Why don’t we ‘Got it!’ quiz tonight.’ but left me in no doubt what she thought of remove all the books from the libraries and undercovers. Ronnie and Ralphy Tweet were replace them with lions and tigers! They’d eat With that I was in. The Secret Revolutionary ‘Not to mention The Communists’ Chicken-In- now ready to address the crowd. the librarians to begin with and then when Lift whisked me upwards as the faint sound A-Basket night at The Gladstone,’ chipped in the council send people round to see what had of The Clash’s Bankrobber echoed in my ears. Ralphy. ‘Aye, we’ve done alright I reckon.’ He ‘Good evening people, and thanks for turning happened to the librarians they’d eat them. So far I hadn’t seen a soul other than clipboard looked me up and down with the miss-nothing out for tonight’s little do. Ralphy and I would It’d be brilliant propaganda for the cause I man and I was wondering how many other eyes of the experienced revolutionary. ‘What’s like to welcome you all most sincerely. First reckon.’ He looked around eagerly for support rioters might show up. Ten? Twenty? Fifty? yer name son, not seen you around before? You things first though, and can we just start by but whilst his courage was undoubted his Who knew? It was all new to me, the rioting any good at chucking bricks at all?’ thanking Marjorie Hewitt for her hard work not strategic skills were pretty poor and no one game. The lift stopped with a lurch and I just tonight but over the last twenty-five years looked convinced in the slightest. walked into a large conference-type room ‘Michael’s my name and I can chuck half a of local revolutionary activity. Big round of packed full of eager rioters. Blimey. There must brick as far as any man in the East Midlands applause for Marjorie!’ ‘Thanks Dominic for that,’ said Ralphy Tweet, have been a good couple of hundred people in I reckon. I was a champion javelin-thrower ‘definitely one to think about. As it happens, there at least. A hum of excitement hovered at school so that’s probably where I get my ‘Now then, we’ve called this meeting Ronnie and I have formulated an exceedingly around the room as rioter chatted to rioter, good arm from. I’m a fast runner too and I’m because its time for action people! We can devious plan ourselves. Now listen up, or helped themselves to a cup of tea and a properly ready to smash the state. It’s really no longer just sit back and take all the shit because this is important…..’ sandwich. been pissing me off recently, y’know.’ the government gives us. Am I right brothers and sisters?’ We assured him he was. ‘They Amongst the throng I could just make out at Ronnie nodded sagely. ‘Aye, well that all think we’re stupid, that we’ll go along with Cal Gibson far end of the room a small stage, currently

Bikini wax and Tampax Mermaid Jaded ‘Oh crappin’ Christ, now what?’ I said, One short poem I need this Bikini wax, True love doesn’t die, I went to Thomas Cook one day, Cockroaches will talk to me tonight I know I thought to myself, Or ask why… To book myself a holiday, and moths, spiders and worms as I will buy some Tampax. It simmers, boils, shakes, A nice late deal to go to , well Keeps the maid often awake, Couldn’t wait to board the plane. They will all talk to me tonight Back on track and on my way, In the head, In exchange With my grotty thong attached, Through the thoughts Straight to the clothes shops I then go I will let them eat from my soul So they can style and rip and tear, It travels, I had a lot to buy you know, so that they do not starve My golden vagina patch. Unravels, Flip flops, sun cream and a bra with a and keep talking The mysteries of the heart, strapless back, to me. Now on the table legs apart, Remain intact - always a part I realise I’m a tad hairy, I feel the pain and ripping start, Of how she feels, I need a bikini wax. Daniel R I want to grab the woman’s fat head, Inside revealed But I just grit my teeth instead. Naked. I hate those things, Trephining the soul, They make me cringe, She yaks away about her last night out, Of the maid But I refuse to wear bikini’s, And accidentally pulls my tampax out, Haiku Unleash continuous thoughts? With a pubic fringe. She screams and nearly has a fit, The mermaid at sea caught, Haikus are easy While I’m lying there like a prize tit. Energy abort? I’m in such a rush, I forget But sometimes they don’t Did the mermaid know in reality? There is just one little snag make sense Bonus. About love’s insanity. In all my rushing sorting things I Refrigerator Thus, the water does flow… Forgot I was on the rag. Miss Caulton Wild sea and mermaid St0gey They grow Wisdom of detachment, Hen Your witness to my every secret Replicating re-enactment Tail tapping The mistake of the mermaid, Squeaking at birds Henrycat The End Lost herself… My little mate A dash out the cat flap Slowly faded… Tapping me Scrambling against me A fly - his name was Jimmy - Into the sea Pawing my hair Crying on the way to the vet landed on the window, minding his Jaded.... Purring under the duvet Chewing my spider plants own business. Two seconds later, Curled in my lap Falling off the window sill he felt a strong draft and had just Sara Bounding up and down the hallway Licking the gravy and mewing for more enough time to see the headline Filthy protests about my liaisons Clawing under the bed ‘Nottingham 4th worst place to live Watching us I have lost you now. in UK’. The End Watching me To the eternal magical nothingness Company to my distress The empty space where my father has gone. Harry Wilding I took you for granted Your witness to my shame Wendy House www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20 37 Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (September 24 - October 23) Curiosity may have killed the cat, but laziness is the primary reason for its decomposition in the If I was a gambling man, which I most certainly am, I’d put a bet on you having a few good nights middle of your living room floor. You really want to have a clean of your flat every now and again, out this winter. Just remember the golden rules: If they look good after six pints it might be worth especially if you plan to entertain guests. Nothing puts a friend off visiting again quite like a getting a second opinion. If your mate says they look good after he’s had six pints then it’s fair rotting animal corpse on the shagpile. game. If you can’t see anymore, try it anyway.

Taurus (April 21 - May 21) Scorpio (October 24 - November 22) The darkness is everywhere. But frequently the accomplice to the crime is our own indifference. The hair all over your back and shoulders is not that of a human. You are part wolf and part They say that power corrupts, but actually it’s just that power attracts those who live in the monkey, something you have suspected deep down for a while. This should help with explaining darkness. The sane are just distracted by better things and let others get away with it. all those bad nights of sleep you’ve had and the ripped clothes and bloodstains you find when you wake in the mornings. Stop killing chickens! Gemini (May 22 - June 22) It was KRS-One who came to Nottingham and told us that principles are our condoms and that Sagittarius (November 23 - December 22) if we wear them, the industry can’t affect us. Try to live to that, regardless of what industry you You’ve learned an important lesson about violence this week, specifically what can happen when work in. They might be able to shun you and force you out, but they will never take your mind. you’re not very good at it. In your drunken stupor you decided to pick on the ‘short guy’ without realising he was the Dwarf Ultimate Fighting Champion. Now both your pride and your face is Cancer (June 23 - July 23) hurting. Corruption and hypocrisy ought not to be inevitable products of democracy, as they undoubtedly are today. The more corrupt a society, the more laws it has to showcase, whereas a man who lives Capricorn (December 23 - January 19) alone has no laws. Corruption is authority plus monopoly minus transparency. On one hand everyone warned you that nothing good would come of dishonesty, but on the other you’re perfectly happy with all the mediocre stuff that did. When they say that crime doesn’t pay, Leo (July 24 - August 23) what they mean is that it doesn’t pay much and that you should feel some kind of moral guilt as you sit there with your big screen TV. You’re watching Friends on your own again. What is it that we’re actually celebrating and why can we only do this once a year? After you take all the tinsel and the wrapping away what’s left? We have love, we have our families and we have time off work as part of the holiday structure of an outdated religion. What more do you need, hey? Aquarius (January 20 - February 19) Sponsorship? Are you reading this? If so it must be a bit weird. For ages you saw the best of me and then you saw the worst. I can’t fault you for not wanting to see anymore. Anyway, this Christmas think at Virgo (August 24 - September 23) least once about the fun, like kids running from cabbies or a train ride to Brighton. There were lots of those. But the bad was worse than the good was good. Bye. You’re about to learn that words can hurt, especially those written in the demon alphabet of Goatface the soul drinker. I’ll be scratching ‘the bitch’ and ‘whoredog’ into various part of your skin via a voodoo doll over the next month or so with the set of fancy pens Satan left under my Pisces (February 20 - March 20) tree. This writer has now turned to the darkside… What right have you to be merry? You’re poor enough. If I could work my will any idiot who goes around with a Merry Christmas on his lips would be cooked with his own turkey and buried with a stake of holly through his heart.

NOTTINGHAM IN 2008 NOTTINGHAM IN 8002

Population: 279,000 Population: 4 billion Bars in town: 1 - set in Bars in town: 350+ ‘Tales of Brian Clough’ museum Sports story of the year: Nottingham Sports story of the year: Crimewave win European Rollerball Cup Forest and Notts get promotion Size of Broadmarsh Centre (metres): Size of Broadmarsh Centre (metres): 45,000 Covers Derbyshire and Leicestershire Tram lines in town: 1 (Line2 coming in 8004) Tram lines in town: 1

38 www.leftlion.co.uk/issue20