LUCIFER Revised Network Draft (011615) Written by Tom Kapinos

LUCIFER

Pilot by Tom Kapinos

1/16/15

© 2015 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. This script is the property of Warner Bros. Entertainment, Inc. No portion of this script may be performed, reproduced or used by any means, or disclosed to, quoted or published in any medium without the prior written consent of Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. FADE IN:

EXT. CITY OF ANGELS - NIGHT A ‘63 Cadillac convertible, black on black, sails down Sunset, cruising through the adult Disneyland that is nighttime Los Angeles. Neon and billboards reflected on the windshield. The Neptunes’ remix of the Stones’ “Sympathy For The Devil” on the radio. BEHIND THE WHEEL The Devil himself. Say hello to LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR. He’s good-looking, a man of considerable wealth and taste, but that’s not what makes him jump off the screen. It’s his vibe. Pure lusty mischief. Sardonic smile. Timeless style. And yes... He’s that Lucifer. The son of God. The one who rebelled, plotted against his father and plummeted from grace. The one who was banished from Paradise and forced to serve as the Lord of Hell for all eternity. So what’s he doing up north? More on that later. Because right now, Lucifer is getting pulled over for speeding. A MOTORCYCLE COP approaches the car. Yells over the music. COP CAN YOU TURN DOWN THE MUSIC, SIR?! Lucifer turns down the volume. LUCIFER You know what they say, officer... (off his look) If it’s getting too loud, you’re getting too old. COP Do you know why I pulled you over? LUCIFER Obviously you felt the need to exercise your limited power and punish me for ignoring the speed limit. It’s okay. I understand. (smiles) I like to punish people too. (MORE) 2. LUCIFER (CONT'D) (a wistful aside) Or at least I used to... COP Do you have any idea how fast you were going? LUCIFER Haven’t a clue. I blame it on the Stones. They just make a man wanna drive, ya know what I mean? The cop pauses for a moment, thoughtful. COP Sometimes I put my siren on and I drive really fast for no reason at all. Just ‘cause I can. LUCIFER Right?! And why wouldn’t you? It’s fun! It feels good to get away with things, doesn’t it? The cop smiles. Chuckles. It does feel good. But then he catches himself. He doesn’t know why he just shared a guilty pleasure with a complete stranger. LUCIFER (CONT’D) It’s okay, officer. People like to tell me things. Secrets, desires, their deepest, darkest thoughts. Must be something about this face. COP (all biz now) License and registration. LUCIFER Coming right up... Lucifer fishes a hundred out of his wallet, proffers it... COP Are you trying to bribe me, sir? LUCIFER Yes, of course. Why, is that not enough? Here, take more, it’s only money. COP It’s against the law, sir. 3.

LUCIFER You people are funny about your laws. You break the law sometimes, don’t you? The cop nods. It’s almost involuntary. LUCIFER (CONT’D) Do tell. COP Sometimes I’ll pull a woman over for a minor infraction and get her to flash me a little something. LUCIFER You dirty dog you... COP Sometimes I let her off with a warning. Sometimes I don’t. Sometimes other stuff happens... LUCIFER (shakes his head) LA’s finest... (nods at the cash) You’re tempted to keep that, aren’t you? (off the cop’s nod) So what are you waiting for? Permission? Keep it! Buy yourself something pretty. You deserve it. But if you don’t mind, I really must be on my way... The cop takes the money and puts it in his pocket. COP Okay, sir, you have a nice day. LUCIFER You too, officer. Lucifer dimes the radio and ROARS off -- leaving one very dazed and confused cop in his wake. As he goes, we see the Caddy’s rear vanity plate, which reads, HAILS8N.” SMASH to BLACK -- followed by a TITLE CARD:

LUCIFER 4.

EXT. LUX - NIGHT Lucifer pulls up in front of his bar, Lux. It doesn’t look like much from the outside, but there’s a long line of HOLLYWOOD HIPSTERS dying to get in. Lucifer parks in front. Gets out and backslaps a MAMMOTH BOUNCER. Handpicks a trio of BEAUTIFUL WOMEN off the line. Bouncer waves them in. The BOYFRIENDS start to follow, but the Bouncer stops them. ONE OF THE GIRLS Hey, what about our boyfriends? Lucifer looks at the girls for a moment, smiles. LUCIFER Where you’re going, there are no boyfriends... The girls look at each other, shrug and laugh. They bounce into the bar, leaving their boyfriends behind without a look. We follow Lucifer...

INT. LUX - CONTINUOUS ...into Lux, a little bit of Hell on earth. A living, breathing tribute to Lucifer’s favorite things -- wine, women and song. Lucifer glides through his dark, shadowy establishment, soaking up the sights and sounds of elegant debauchery like a proud, modern-day Gatsby. His eyes land on the exotic, dark-haired beauty tending bar over yonder. MAZIKEEN. A vision in black leather. But she’s always been just MAZE to Lucifer. She looks up, sees him, blows the hair out of her eyes, annoyed. MAZE Where’ve you been? LUCIFER Holed up at the Chateau. Copulating with a young woman who wears clothes for a living. Maze shakes her head, disgusted. Her eyes flash a demonic shade of red. Which would be weird if Maze was just your garden variety gal. But she’s far from it. Maze is actually a fierce demon in the form of a beautiful young woman. 5.

LUCIFER (CONT’D) (smiles) Have I ever told you how incredibly sexy you are when you can’t control your emotions? MAZE And what emotions might those be? LUCIFER Why, jealousy, of course. MAZE Try anger. LUCIFER How could you possibly be angry with your master? MAZE Because my master wastes his precious time carrying on with all these insignificant little twits. You’re the Lord of Hell, for chrisssake. You might conduct yourself with a shred more dignity. LUCIFER I’m retired, Maze. I’ve got nothing but time. And if it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t that into it. I ended up servicing the poor girl solely out of a sense of duty. Perhaps there’s such a thing as too much hedonism. Maze just stares at him for a beat. MAZE What is going on with you, Lucifer? This is not my master speaking. I’m disturbed. LUCIFER Look, I quit Hell because I was sick and tired of playing a part in His plan. I believe in free will, not the tyranny of his predestination hoo-ha. But lately I keep wondering if I’m the devil because I’m inherently evil or simply because my father decided I was? Is this a classic case of labeling? What do you think? 6.

MAZE I think you have some serious Daddy issues. LUCIFER Maybe I should see a therapist. Like the rest of Los Angeles. MAZE Speaking of dear ol’ Dad, looks like you have a visitor... Maze nods out an oddly intense man with long white hair sitting at the end of the bar. This is AMENADIEL. Lucifer walks over, slaps him on the back, sits down next to him. LUCIFER Amenadude! How’s it hanging, big guy? Didn’t you see the sign? “No angels allowed”? No? Hmm, maybe we should be using a bigger font... AMENADIEL He sent me. LUCIFER Yes, I know. Just like the last time. And the time before that. AMENADIEL Your return has been requested. LUCIFER Oh, okay, let me check my calendar. Yep, here it is. The seventh of Never? Through the fifteenth of Ain’t Gonna Happen? How’s that work for you guys? Amenadiel just stares at him -- grim, unamused. LUCIFER (CONT'D) I’m consistently surprised by the whole no sense of humor thing. AMENADIEL He will not be pleased. LUCIFER Yeah, what’s new and different? The old man has never been particularly pleased with me. 7.

AMENADIEL Do not disrespect the Heavenly Father in my presence. LUCIFER Hey, he’s my father, not yours. I can say whatever the hell I want. AMENADIEL You are a mockery of everything divine. LUCIFER Thank you! Amenadiel looks at Lucifer. He’s disappointed. AMENADIEL Is there nothing you care about, Lucifer? Nothing you hold sacred? Nothing at all? That said, Amenadiel gets up and walks out, leaving Lucifer to consider his words.

EXT. LUX - NIGHT Lucifer stands outside, smoking, still thinking about what Amenadiel said to him. That’s when A BLACK ESCALADE slows to a stop in front of Lux. The rear window rolls down. A beautiful face appears. This is DELILAH. She’s a hot mess tabloid sensation of a rock star. Just about the biggest thing in the universe right now. DELILAH Remember me...? Lucifer smiles, pleased. LUCIFER Delilah! You’re a big star now. Can I have your autograph?

INT. LUX - NIGHT Lucifer and Delilah at the bar. 8.

LUCIFER Why’d you come back? DELILAH Lux has always been this touchstone for me. Reminds me of who I was and who I wanted to be before everything got so big and messy. (then) How did you do it...? LUCIFER What do you mean? DELILAH Come on -- you took me in off the street, you gave me a job, you let me sing up there anytime I wanted. I told you I wanted to be a star. Very next day, things started happening for me. It was like a fairy tale dream come true. LUCIFER I’m simply a patron of the arts. I saw that you had talent, I gave you a place to showcase said talent, introduced you to a few key people who owed me favors. The rest is history. Or herstory. Your story. DELILAH So I didn’t sell my soul to the Devil? LUCIFER That would imply the Devil is actually interested in your soul. That’s the stuff of movies and TV. They always get it wrong. Much like the bands who invoke the devil’s name. Except for AC/DC and the Stones. They can drop my name anytime. DELILAH Well, it certainly feels Faustian at times. Because along with the good came a hell of a lot of bad. 9.

LUCIFER Oh, so the Devil made you do it? The alcohol, the drugs, the toxic relationships, the topless selfies? I think that’s on you, my dear. DELILAH You’re right. You’re absolutely right. I’m a mess. The drugs... the booze... the men... that’s the biggest mess of all. God, I really do have the worst taste in men... LUCIFER You really do. I mean, Jimmy Barnes...? I can’t believe you almost married that sweaty little midget... DELILAH He was the president of the record company! And you introduced us! LUCIFER I told you to sign with him -- not sleep with him! DELILAH I got confused! LUCIFER And then you left him at the altar! DELILAH I admit, that was pretty rude of me. But it was for the best. And he got over it. He’s marrying some supermodel this weekend. LUCIFER Bully for him. Now let’s talk about something that matters... (off her look) Your voice. You have an incredible voice. It’s sweet, dirty, sexy, soulful. So many talented artists and musicians came to Hell during my reign. Pardon the pun, but we really had one hell of a band. And your voice is right up there with the best of the best. 10.

DELILAH (smiles) I seriously want to jump your bones right now. LUCIFER That’s perfectly understandable. DELILAH How do you do that? LUCIFER What? DELILAH You make me feel so good about being bad... LUCIFER It’s a gift. A moment. LUCIFER (CONT’D) You didn’t sell your soul, Delilah, but you do owe me a favor. Looks like it’s time to settle up. DELILAH (kidding but not kidding) I’m scared... LUCIFER You should be. Because what I’m about to ask is going to be quite difficult for you. (then) Get yourself together. (then) That’s it. That’s all I’m asking. Get it together before it’s too late. You’re wasting your talent. Your opportunity. Delilah starts to cry. Lucifer frowns. LUCIFER (CONT’D) Why are you crying? DELILAH Because I let you down... 11.

LUCIFER No tears. There’s a way you can make it up to me...

INT. LUX - MOMENTS LATER Lucifer plays piano. Delilah is singing. A cover of something interesting and cool. And Lucifer was right -- she has a killer voice. And star power for days.

EXT. LUX - NIGHT The song continues over Lucifer and Delilah walking out. Saying goodbye. DELILAH I’m gonna do what you asked. I’m gonna get it together, Lucifer. I promise. Please don’t give up on me... LUCIFER How could I? (then) The devil never forgets his first... She smiles. Pulls him into a big hug. They’re still hugging when a passing car slows to a stop in front of Lux... SHOTS rings out -- Lucifer and Delilah are RIDDLED WITH BULLETS. As they both go down in a heap, the car SCREECHES off -- A beat as everything settles. Then -- AN UNHOLY GROAN from Lucifer... As he rises to a sitting position. His clothes are torn with smoking holes. He rips his shirt open. No blood. No entry wounds. Just pain. A lot of fucking pain. 12.

He slowly climbs to his feet. Goes over to Delilah, beautiful in peaceful repose. And very much dead. Off Lucifer, reeling in shock. Not as much over the fact that she’s dead, but how he feels about it. Maybe Amenadiel was right. Maybe he does care about something. Or someone.

FADE OUT.

END OF ACT ONE 13.

ACT TWO

EXT. LUX - NIGHT Crime scene chaos. Police cars. Cherry tops spinning. EMTs putting Delilah’s body in a bag and into the back of an ambulance. An UNMARKED COP CAR pulls up. Out hops LAPD homicide detective CHLOE DANCER. She’s 30s, beautiful, but downplays it on purpose. She’s smart, cold, direct. A COUPLE OF UNIFORMED OFFICERS are looking at her and snickering about something. Chloe’s guard goes right up. CHLOE You guys okay over there? COP #1 All good! CHLOE You sure? Anything I can help you with? COP #2 Nope. Owner’s inside. She eyes them for a beat, starts to head inside. COP #1 We were just talking about some of our favorite movies... More snickers. Chloe sighs, stops in her tracks, wants to blow it off, but it’s just not in her nature. She turns and walks back over to the cops. CHLOE Oh yeah? What’s your favorite movie? Before he can even stutter an answer, Chloe grabs Cop #1 by the balls and pushes him up against a wall, squeezing tighter and tighter, bringing tears to his eyes. CHLOE (CONT’D) Don’t be shy, Siskel. What’s your favorite flick? 14.

COP #2 Hey, come on, we were just screwing around... But he says it with a smirk that makes you want to physically remove it from his face. So Chloe does just that. Lets go of #1’s balls and PUNCHES #2 hard in the face, drawing blood. And then --

SNAP BACK TO REALITY Where Chloe stands there, eyeballing the asshole cops. We realize it was just a fantasy. She turns and takes the high road into --

INT. LUX - NIGHT -- where Chloe is now questioning Lucifer. He’s distracted. His swirling emotions over Delilah’s death are disorienting. CHLOE Lucifer Morningstar...? Is that like a stage name or something? LUCIFER God-given, I’m afraid. (studies her) You look familiar. Have we met? CHLOE Five minutes ago. And I’m asking the questions. (then) Talk to me about your relationship with the deceased. LUCIFER She used to work here. A few years back. She had an extraordinary talent and I would accompany her while she sang. Then she became a big star and someone decided to end her life. CHLOE Did you see the shooter? LUCIFER No. We were hugging. I’m usually not much for hugging. (MORE) 15. LUCIFER (CONT'D) But I didn’t mind it with her. Which is strange. For me. CHLOE Okay, so someone empties a gun into her while you’re hugging and you don’t get hit at all? Lucifer raises his hands, shrugs. We notice that he’s changed his clothes. LUCIFER The benefits of being immortal. CHLOE (this guy’s a freak) Anyone out there have any issues with you? LUCIFER What do you mean? CHLOE Have you pissed anyone off lately? LUCIFER Well, I am currently involved with any number of married women and girlfriends. CHLOE You’re quite the amoral prick, aren’t you? LUCIFER Speaking of amorality, what will your corrupt little organization do about this? CHLOE Excuse me? LUCIFER Will you find the killer? Will he be punished? Is this a priority for you? CHLOE You’ve got some balls on you, pal. LUCIFER Thank you, but they’re really quite average. (MORE) 16. LUCIFER (CONT'D) (studies her) Are you sure we haven’t met? CHLOE I’m sure I’ll have more questions. LUCIFER Well, you know where to find me...

INT. LUX - LATER THAT NIGHT Lucifer sits at the piano, fingers flying, playing something moody and intense. Suddenly he smashes the keys in a burst of atonal fury. He gets up and HURLS THE PIANO STOOL at the epic lineup of booze bottles above the bar. SMASHES them to pieces. Throws a CHAIR this time. SMASHES more bottles. Maze enters. Surveys the damage. Says nothing. Which infuriates Lucifer even more. LUCIFER Out with it, Maze! MAZE I’m curious. LUCIFER About?! MAZE Why you care so much. LUCIFER Because it’s unfair! It’s unjust! MAZE Mortals die every day. LUCIFER Yes, insignificant ones! Human nothings who never add anything to this world! They only take and consume and die cowardly pathetic deaths! But this was different! The world was robbed of a great talent! It makes me angry! It makes me want to punish someone! 17.

MAZE (smiles) There’s the sassy Satan I know and love. Hold on to that feeling, boss... LUCIFER I don’t know who did this! MAZE Find out. LUCIFER Right. Like it’s just that easy. MAZE I know what your problem is, master. All this whining about am I evil... who am I... you’ve just forgotten your purpose. It’s all well and good to take a vacation, have fun in paradise with all the low-hanging fruit. But you’ve lost sight of what it is you actually do for a living. You exist to punish and torture people, Lucifer. And you do it so well. Maybe it’s time to be that guy again... Off Lucifer...

EXT. MALIBU - WEDDING SITE - DAY Cliffs overlooking the Pacific. Wedding in progress. A short, sweaty music mogul named JIMMY BARNES is about to wed a stunning, statuesque SUPERMODEL. They’re surrounded by FRENEMIES and FAMILY. It’s a whole big tadoo. The PRIEST has just arrived at the part where he says... PRIEST ...speak now or forever hold your peace...... when the weather takes a turn for the worse. Looks like it’s about to rain all of a sudden. A VOICE BOOMS: LUCIFER Excuse me! And Lucifer comes strolling down the aisle... 18.

LUCIFER (CONT’D) I have a problem. Has anyone else noticed how incredibly, jaw- droppingly, boner-inducingly beautiful this young woman is? And how short, sweaty and altogether fugly this homunculus is? What is this? A wedding or a kidnapping? Reactions from the GUESTS as Lucifer arrives at the altar. The Priest crosses himself, starts mumbling some prayers. LUCIFER (CONT’D) (chuckles) Good luck with that, padre. But while you’re at it, tell him I say hey -- it’s been awhile. He turns his attention to the groom, who’s sweating yet desperately clinging to some semblance of cool. LUCIFER (CONT’D) Jimmy Barnes! Do you remember me? JIMMY BARNES Hey, man, this is a private event. How’d you get in here? Jimmy looks around for help, but no one’s stepping up. LUCIFER Do you remember me? JIMMY BARNES (hushed) Of course I remember you! How could I forget? What do you want?! I’m about to get married! LUCIFER I can’t believe you’re getting married the day after your ex-lover and top-selling artist is murdered in cold blood. JIMMY BARNES Yeah, I’m all broken about it, but Delilah ruined my wedding once before. I wasn’t about to let her do it again. LUCIFER Did you have her killed, Jimmy? 19.

JIMMY BARNES Are you kidding me?! No, of course not! I was furious and humiliated when she dumped me, but I think I rebounded pretty well! He gestures at his beautiful bride-to-be. Lucifer gives her an appreciative glance. LUCIFER Clearly. Respect. JIMMY BARNES I would look at Stric9. LUCIFER The rapper? JIMMY BARNES Yeah, Delilah dumped me for that lunatic. They were always fighting. I think he slapped her around a bunch. He’s the real deal, man, and he’s surrounded by a bunch of gun-toting morons 24-7. I told the police about him. LUCIFER The police? JIMMY Yeah. This lady cop came to see me this morning. Smokin’ hot. Total piece of ass. LUCIFER She was okay. JIMMY No, she was seriously hot. Seriously. She used to be an actress. She was in that teen comedy... I forget what it’s called... LUCIFER That’s where I know her from! The haunted fish tank! (off his look) That’s what I call my television. JIMMY She had that famous nude scene. Coming out of the hot tub. (MORE) 20. JIMMY (CONT'D) It was a total Fast Times rip-off, but she was like a new school Phoebe Cates. Then she just disappeared. LUCIFER That was quite a nude scene. JIMMY Yeah, sure was... A moment as they both think about said nude scene. Lucifer turns his attention to the bride. LUCIFER I’m sorry, how rude of me. Please allow me to introduce myself... He extends a hand. She takes it, charmed. She stares at him for a moment, feels a sudden, overwhelming urge to confess: BRIDE I had sex with my ex last night. Three times. Twice in the morning. (to Jimmy) I’m sorry, it was really hot. Jimmy is dumbstruck. LUCIFER Of course it was hot. Let’s be honest here. You’re not marrying this human stain because you’re actually in love with him, right? BRIDE No, I guess it’s more about lifestyle. (starts to get upset) I don’t know what I was thinking... LUCIFER Don’t be too hard on yourself. A girl’s gotta eat. (then) Well, I should be on my way. Best of luck, kids! Lucifer turns and walks off down the aisle, leaving some serious wreckage behind him. 21.

EXT. STRIC9’S PLACE - HOLLYWOOD HILLS - DAY Lucifer’s Caddy cruises up the driveway of a pimped-out palace that could easily have its own very special episode of MTV Cribs. Lucifer gets out, rings the doorbell. A massive GONG sound. The door is opened a moment later by a WHITE ENGLISH BUTLER. BUTLER Good afternoon, sir. LUCIFER I’m here to see the man sadly known as Stric9. Is he in? BUTLER I’m sorry, sir. He’s unavailable. I’m afraid he’s in mourning. LUCIFER I have narcotics for him. A moment. BUTLER Right this way, sir.

INT. STRIC9’S PLACE - DAY Lucifer follows the English Butler into the house. Tortured architecture. Killer city views. The ultimate in tacky Hollywood Hills living. Stric9’s CREW scattered all over the place. Hip-hop thumping. There’s tons of weed, weapons -- it’s a real scene. Looks like a music video. LUCIFER Can someone please turn down this godawful music?! Tattooed hip-hop thug STRIC9 appears through a thick haze of pot smoke. STRIC9 Who’s this clown? BUTLER He has narcotics for you, sir. 22.

LUCIFER My name is Lucifer Morningstar. STRIC9 Lucifer Morningstar... that’s a good hip-hop name. LUCIFER That offends me. STRIC9 What, you don’t like hip-hop? LUCIFER No, I most certainly do not. STRIC9 That offends me. You have a problem with black people? LUCIFER Not in the slightest. I just hate your music. And when I say “your music,” I mean your music -- not music made by other black people. Without the blues, there would be no devil’s music whatsoever. There are of course many giants in the field. Just not you. Am I being clear? STRIC9 You’re being clear all right -- if you’re looking to get yourself killed. LUCIFER Don’t waste your munitions. I’m immortal. Tell me about Delilah! STRIC9 The bitch is dead! Long live the bitch! Lucifer advances on Stric9. Grabs him by the throat. Lifts him high off the ground. All of Stric9’s crew pulls weapons on Lucifer. LUCIFER (to Stric9) They can shoot if they want, but I’ll crush your windpipe. Stric9 waves them off. Tries to speak. 23.

LUCIFER (CONT’D) I’m sorry, what was that? Can’t understand. Probably because I’m choking you to death. Lucifer relaxes his chokehold. STRIC9 I didn’t kill her! LUCIFER Why should I believe you? STRIC9 Because I loved the bitch! LUCIFER People sometimes kill people with whom they’re in love. The heart is mysterious. Or so I’m told. STRIC9 Bitch made me crazy. LUCIFER Women can do that. Doesn’t mean you should beat them up and call them names. STRIC9 Sometimes I wanted to put a bullet in her. Maybe a whole clip. Make the bitch dance before she dies. LUCIFER What a lovely little hip-hop haiku! (then) Did you or did you not raise a hand to Delilah? STRIC9 Come on, man -- we worked that stuff out a long time ago. I hit her because I found out she was cheating on me. LUCIFER With whom? STRIC9 I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me. Said it was a big secret. Some rich married guy with a family. 24.

LUCIFER Did she have a friend she might have confided in? STRIC9 She didn’t trust no one. Her therapist is probably the only one who knows. She was seeing her like five times a week. LUCIFER Thank you for your time. STRIC9 Sometimes I get tired of fronting, man. I really just wanted to put a ring on that finger and a baby up in that ass. She was the one. And now she’s dead. Stric9 breaks down in tears. His CREW is horrified. They look away, embarrassed. LUCIFER I like this side of you. You might consider putting this kind of emotion into your music. And change your name. What does your mother call you? STRIC9 Percy. Percy Wallace. LUCIFER (pause) Never mind. Good luck with what’s left of your short-lived career. Lucifer turns and walks out as the butler is leading Chloe in. A moment. Lucifer smiles. LUCIFER (CONT’D) We meet again...

EXT. STRIC9’S PLACE - DAY Chloe leads Lucifer out in cuffs... LUCIFER I’m not sure I understand why you’re arresting me. 25.

CHLOE Because you’re interfering with a police investigation. LUCIFER I can get out of these, you know. CHLOE Funny. Lucifer does some Houdini-esque wriggling behind his back and hands her the cuffs. Chloe stares at the cuffs, confused. LUCIFER This is a waste of time. Especially when we could be out there solving a homicide and punishing those responsible! Come on, I’ll help you, it’ll be fun! CHLOE Are you insane? How could you possibly help me? LUCIFER I think you’d be surprised. I have a certain skill set. I can be very persuasive. And I tend to see things others cannot. CHLOE So what are you saying? You’re like a psychic or something? (looks at the cuffs) A magician...? LUCIFER I’m just really good with people. They like to tell me things. And why wouldn’t they, really? I’m pretty awesome. CHLOE Oh yeah? Prove it. LUCIFER That I’m awesome? Isn’t it obvious? (then) Tell me, Detective -- what do you want more than anything in this life? Chloe looks at him for a beat, cynical. 26.

CHLOE This is it? This is your big trick? Then she suddenly finds herself unable to stop talking: CHLOE (CONT’D) I guess I want to be taken seriously. My father was a cop. A pretty great one. My mother was an actress. A pretty cheesy one. I tried the acting thing for awhile. Took my top off, made a splash. Didn’t like how it made me feel about myself. So I quit. Decided my calling was to become a cop. Just like my old man. But no one on the force takes me seriously. They think I’m a joke. Meanwhile, I just want to do the job. Do some good, ya know? Lucifer frowns, disgusted. LUCIFER Your purity both bores and repulses me. CHLOE (snaps out of it) Did I really just say all of that out loud..? LUCIFER Yes! Because I’m awesome! And clearly an asset to your investigation. Sorry, our investigation. CHLOE Give me one good reason why I should let you ride along on this? LUCIFER Because I’m an excellent conversationalist. Because, despite yourself, you’re intrigued by my roguish good looks and sheer animal magnetism. But mostly because I currently know more about Delilah’s murder than you do. (moves to her car) There -- I’ve given you not one but three very good reasons. (MORE) 27. LUCIFER (CONT'D) We should probably get moving. I’ll fill you in on the way... Off Chloe, who can’t believe she’s even considering this. FADE OUT.

END OF ACT TWO 28.

ACT THREE

INT. CHLOE’S POLICE CAR - DRIVING - DAY Chloe drives. Lucifer in the passenger seat. He frowns. LUCIFER This is an embarrassing automobile. No style whatsoever. I don’t know how you could allow yourself to be seen in it. CHLOE Yeah, well, it’s better than that hideous pimp-mobile you drive. LUCIFER It’s a ‘63 Cadillac. Just like Pacino drove in Scarface. Love Pacino. Have all his albums. Have you seen Devil’s Advocate? One of the better Hollywood depictions of the Devil. Not realistic per se, but certainly entertaining. Lucifer changes the radio. Lands on a classic rock station. Chloe slaps his hand away. CHLOE Hey! Don’t be messing with my music! Her phone rings -- CHLOE (CONT’D) (answers) Hello? Hey. (listens) Great, thanks. (hangs up) Her therapist’s name is Kim Martin. Address in Beverly Hills. LUCIFER Excellent. (then) I finally figured out where I recognize you from. CHLOE That crappy movie where you saw my boobs? Yeah, never heard that one before. 29.

LUCIFER And your posterior. Don’t forget your posterior. A thing of beauty. CHLOE I will shoot you. LUCIFER I told you. I’m immortal. (then) And don’t denigrate the film you were in. Human males of a certain age worship that film. CHLOE Yeah, don’t I know it. Bane of my friggin’ existence. LUCIFER Who cares what the other pigs say? You know who you are. You should grab those good ol’ boys by their sad little yam bags and show them who’s boss! Stand up for yourself, woman! Lucifer’s words land on Chloe. She likes what he’s saying, which is also annoying to her. Then she gets another call on her cell. Saved by the ring. She answers: CHLOE (on the phone) Hello? What? You’re kidding me. Is she okay? Her father was supposed to pick her up today. He should be there already. Of course he’s not. Okay, I’ll be there as soon I can. Chloe hangs up, annoyed. CHLOE (CONT’D) We have to make a pit stop. LUCIFER No. Absolutely not. CHLOE I have to get my kid from school. She got into a fight. LUCIFER Can’t she get herself home? 30.

CHLOE She’s nine. LUCIFER I’m not here to help you run errands. I’m here to help you solve a homicide. CHLOE So you keep saying. Don’t worry about it. Delilah’s not gonna get any deader.

EXT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - DAY Chloe pulls up in front. CHLOE Wait here. LUCIFER With pleasure. I despise children. Chloe frowns, gets out and goes into the school. Lucifer gets out to stretch, lights a cigarette. A MILFY MOM crosses his path and disappears into the school. Lucifer likes what he sees. Decides to follow her in.

INT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - DAY Lucifer looks around, but the Milfy Woman is nowhere to be found. Lucifer frowns, sits down in the lobby, still smoking. Next to a precocious little thing named BEATRICE. TRIXIE I don’t think you’re allowed to smoke in here. LUCIFER Oh dear, what will become of me? TRIXIE My mother is a police officer. She could arrest you. LUCIFER I know your mother. We’re working together. On a case. It’s top secret. 31.

TRIXIE You know my mother? LUCIFER Unfortunately. TRIXIE What’s your name? LUCIFER Lucifer. TRIXIE (wide-eyed; hushed) Like the devil?! LUCIFER (smiles, pleased) Exactly. TRIXIE My name is Beatrice. But everyone calls me Trixie. LUCIFER That’s a hooker’s name. TRIXIE What’s a hooker? LUCIFER A hard-working lady of the night. TRIXIE What’s a lady of the night? LUCIFER Ask your mother. (then) Why are you in trouble? TRIXIE See that girl over there? She nods out a MEAN GIRL sitting across from them. LUCIFER The ugly one? TRIXIE Yes! She was bullying me. She created a fake Snapchat account and used it to make fun of me! (MORE) 32. TRIXIE (CONT'D) So I kicked her in her no-no-touch- touch-square! Lucifer is confused. Trixie points to his crotch. Makes a square. LUCIFER (gets it) I see. Excellent. Well-played. He gets up and walks over to the Mean Girl. Sits down next to her and says: LUCIFER (CONT’D) You know what, child? You’re ugly and your mother dresses you funny. You should know that you will never amount to anything in this life, and that there’s a special section of Hell reserved for bullies. See you there. Lucifer makes his eyes flash red. The Mean Girl bursts into tears. That’s when Chloe walks out of an inner office. Reads the room. CHLOE What’d you do? LUCIFER I think someone’s feeling a little guilty. Isn’t that right, child? More tears. Lucifer looks at Chloe. See?

EXT. ELEMENTARY SCHOOL - DAY Lucifer, Chloe and Trixie walk out as Trixie’s father and Chloe’s estranged husband, DAN, a gruff LAPD homicide detective, arrives. CHLOE Wow. Shocker. You’re late. DAN Gimme a break, I’m putting a case to bed. CHLOE Right, like I’m not working a case too. Condescending to the last. 33.

Lucifer notices Trixie putting her fingers in her ears. Lucifer interrupts them. LUCIFER Perhaps you should refrain from arguing in front of the child. It’s unbecoming. Not to mention a waste of my time. Which is far more important. To me. A moment. Dan looks at Chloe. DAN Who’s the clown? New boyfriend? I thought we agreed not to -- Lucifer grabs Dan in a firm handshake. Gets up close, says: LUCIFER Please allow me to introduce myself. I’m a man of wealth and taste. I could make you see things that would drive you blind. I could snap your neck. Or put a dry thumb up your ass. The choice is yours. But I wouldn’t do any of these things in front of the child. You know why? Because I have excellent manners. DAN (beat) I don’t know whether to laugh or shoot you. LUCIFER Surprise me. TRIXIE Isn’t he funny, Daddy?! CHLOE (to Dan) Hey, can you drop Trix at my mother’s? Thanks! Working a case! (to Trixie) Gimme a kiss, Trixella! Mommy loves you! Good job standing up to the mean girl! LUCIFER (to Chloe; pointed) You might take a lesson from the child. 34.

TRIXIE Thanks Mommy! (then) What’s a hooker? CHLOE (pause) Daddy’ll tell you. Dan frowns his thanks, takes Trixie by the hand and walks off. Trixie turns back. TRIXIE Bye, Lucifer! Nice to meet you! Lucifer says nothing; just frowns. CHLOE I think she likes you. LUCIFER What’s not to like? That said, I’m not a big fan of children. Hideous little creatures. Terrible, taxing burdens. Never quite understood the human desire to procreate. (off her look) Yours is fine, I suppose. Nothing to be too embarrassed about. Yet nothing to crow about, either. Chloe just stares at him for a beat, dumbfounded. CHLOE Are you at all aware of how dickish you sound? LUCIFER You enjoyed that, didn’t you? CHLOE Calling you a dick? LUCIFER Seeing your former lover put in his place. Chloe doesn’t say anything, but she smiles. A little. On the inside. She heads around to the driver’s side. LUCIFER (CONT’D) You’re welcome. They get into the car and drive off. 35.

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE - DAY Lucifer and Chloe sit opposite the therapist, KIM MARTIN, very uptight and very put-together. CHLOE We’d like to ask you a few questions about Delilah... Kim nods, but she can’t take her eyes off Lucifer. He nods and smiles, very understanding. LUCIFER You’re thinking about it, aren’t you? KIM What? LUCIFER It’s not a good idea. I’m like walking heroin. Very habit- forming. Never ends well. CHLOE I’m sorry, do you two know each other? LUCIFER No, but I know that look. KIM (tries to cover) I don’t know what you’re talking about. LUCIFER (to Chloe) It’s interesting because you don’t look at me that way. CHLOE What way? LUCIFER With carnal fascination. CHLOE That’s because it doesn’t exist. LUCIFER Interesting. 36.

CHLOE Why is that interesting? LUCIFER I’m just surprised that you’re not more taken with me. I have this thing with women. I tend to appeal to the dark, mischievous heart within all of you. But you, Detective -- you seem oddly immune to my charms. CHLOE Referring to them as charms is a stretch. Truth be told, I find you repulsive. Like on a chemical level. Seriously, you’re gross. I mean, you flat out give me the heebie-jeebies. Lucifer takes this in and then turns to Kim. LUCIFER Here’s the deal. We know Delilah was having a clandestine affair with a wealthy married man. Just tell us the name of the adulterer and we’ll be on our way. KIM I don’t know that I can do that. I mean, I want to, but I can’t. It’s really juicy stuff! CHLOE She’s unbelievable. LUCIFER It’s not her fault. She’s reacting to me. Watch and learn. (to Kim) The answer is yes. We can make the beast with two backs. If we must. But you have to tell us. KIM I can’t! I want to, but I can’t! Why are you doing this to me?! You’re the devil! LUCIFER Correct. 37.

KIM (explodes) It’s Grey Cooper! There! Are you happy?! CHLOE Seriously? That is pretty juicy. LUCIFER What is a Grey Cooper? CHLOE Grey Cooper? He’s a huge movie star! He’s Dino-Man, for Christ’s sake! And he’s married to Amanda Darling. LUCIFER (disgusted) Oh, he’s horrible. So square-jawed and handsome. So vanilla. So boring. I’m really quite disappointed in Delilah. I thought she had far better taste in the opposite sex. CHLOE The world doesn’t revolve around you, you know. LUCIFER My world does. CHLOE Spoken like a true narcissist. LUCIFER Would you like to wait in the lobby? I won’t be long. CHLOE No way! Let’s go! We have to go talk to him! LUCIFER Of course. But I made a deal. I have to hold up my end of the bargain. Chloe shakes her head in disbelief. CHLOE I’m not waiting for you to bone this dingbat. (MORE) 38. CHLOE (CONT'D) I thought you were all hot and bothered to avenge Delilah’s death. Guess not. Lucifer looks at Chloe. She’s right. He wants to bail. Then he looks at Kim, who smiles, shifts in her seat and says: KIM I’ve been wondering what it might be like if you bent me over this desk... (then) Wow, really tried to keep that in. LUCIFER (gets up) You tried. That’s what matters. (then) But I’m gonna have to give you a rain check. I’m a man on a mission right now. But I will be back. KIM Do you promise? LUCIFER My word is my bond. That said, Lucifer bails and leaves with Chloe... FADE OUT.

END OF ACT THREE 39.

ACT FOUR

EXT. BRENTWOOD MANSION - DAY Lucifer and Chloe pull up in front of a $20 million Cape Cod and get out... LUCIFER Christ on the cross! CHLOE What? LUCIFER What a hideous monstrosity! CHLOE Are you kidding? This thing probably goes for $20 million bucks. LUCIFER Yes, but you could buy a castle for that kind of money. CHLOE Yeah, well, LA is pretty much the bad taste capital of the world. LUCIFER Did you grow up here? CHLOE Unfortunately. LUCIFER I quite like LA. CHLOE What do you like about it? LUCIFER The women, mostly. CHLOE Where did you grow up? LUCIFER Down South. But enough about me. Are you having fun? I think I’m having fun. Which is strange. We’re solving a homicide! 40.

CHLOE I wouldn’t say fun exactly. And I wouldn’t say we’ve solved much of anything. They press the buzzer at the gate. A big, bulky BODYGUARD type emerges from the home. BODYGUARD Help you? Chloe flashes her police credentials. CHLOE We’d like to have a word with Mr. Cooper. BODYGUARD I’m sorry. He’s not available. A man emerges from the house. He’s movie star handsome. That’s because he’s a movie star. This is GREY COOPER (30s). GREY COOPER What is this regarding? LUCIFER Delilah. Which pretty much takes the wind out of his sails.

EXT. BRENTWOOD MANSION - BACKYARD - DAY Lucifer and Chloe sit with Grey Cooper in an epic backyard. CHLOE What was the nature of your relationship with Delilah? GREY COOPER She had a cameo in a film I directed. We became close. LUCIFER Lovers? GREY COOPER Friends. LUCIFER Friends who sleep together? 41.

CHLOE (to Lucifer) Settle down, fella! Remember who asks the questions? GREY COOPER (to Chloe) Who’s he again? LUCIFER Lucifer Morningstar. We met just a few minutes ago. CHLOE He’s a consultant to the LAPD. GREY COOPER I don’t see how my sex life is any of your business. Lucifer stands and BELLOWS: LUCIFER Enough! Did you kill her?! GREY COOPER Jesus! Of course I didn’t kill her. Are you mad? LUCIFER Did you have her killed? Did you sweep her under the rug like some dirty, unfinished business? GREY COOPER You’re really freaking me out, man. LUCIFER (to Chloe) I don’t think he’s lying. Then again, who knows? It’s not a perfect science. And he’s an actor. He lies for a living. (to Grey) What do you want more than anything, Mr. Cooper? What is your deepest, darkest desire? When you close your eyes, what do you see? GREY COOPER (pause) I’m the President of the United States. 42.

LUCIFER (gasps) You are a monster. CHLOE There is a lot of talk out there about your political aspirations. GREY COOPER Well, it’s true, I do have aspirations. Is that a problem? CHLOE Really wouldn’t want to do anything to screw that up, would you? GREY COOPER No, I wouldn’t. CHLOE But powerful men, they have certain weaknesses... LUCIFER Why do you call it a weakness? Why can’t it be a strength? A sign of virility? CHLOE But you digress. LUCIFER More importantly, why would you want to be a politician? Horrible business. You get to make movies. Isn’t that more fun? That said, I don’t like your movies very much. GREY COOPER That’s kind of you, thanks. LUCIFER Seems to me there used to be real movie stars. These days, though, guys like you somehow slip into the cracks left behind by the real ones. Delilah, though. She had real talent. GREY COOPER She sure did. Voice of an angel. 43.

CHLOE We have reason to believe Delilah was in love with you. Grey Cooper sighs, decides to come clean. GREY COOPER You want the truth? Here’s the truth. We were friends. We got close. The lines got blurry. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned. At the end of the day, I love my wife, my kids, my life. I didn’t want to screw that up. So I called it off. CHLOE Mr. Cooper -- GREY COOPER Call me Grey. CHLOE Where were you at approximately eleven PM last night? GREY COOPER I was at an awards show. With my wife. Three of my agents. My manager. And a publicist. And about a thousand photographers. I’m sure one of them can vouch for me. Chloe frowns. Her gut tells her this is a dead end. LUCIFER Did you win an award? GREY COOPER I did, actually. LUCIFER (shakes his head) Did you thank God? GREY COOPER I did, actually. LUCIFER Why is it always about God?! What has he ever done for you?! Grey Cooper gestures around. 44.

GREY COOPER Have you seen this place? Someone’s looking out for me. LUCIFER That’s not how it works!

EXT. BRENTWOOD MANSION - DAY Grey walks Lucifer and Chloe out, trailed by Grey Cooper. GREY COOPER I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help, but if you need me for anything, I’m here and willing to cooperate. A black SUV pulls into the driveway. Grey’s wife, AMANDA DARLING, a famous actress in her own right, climbs out, fresh from some kind of Westside exercise class. AMANDA Hey, honey... what’s going on? GREY COOPER The LAPD. They had some questions. About Delilah... Amanda winces; it’s involuntarily. Chloe clocks it. AMANDA So awful... LUCIFER (to Amanda) You’re really quite striking in person. Luminous, actually. AMANDA Thank you! LUCIFER It’s interesting... I’ve never been particularly fond of you on the big screen. AMANDA Thank you...? GREY COOPER He’s full of compliments, this guy. 45.

LUCIFER I’m sorry... (extends a hand) Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar. AMANDA Wow. Great name. She shakes his hand. Looks at him. A look that turns into a stare. The Lucifer Effect taking hold. She spits: AMANDA (CONT’D) I wanted her to die screaming. CHLOE Who? AMANDA Delilah. I’m happy she’s dead. Skanky little homewrecker. GREY COOPER Amanda! What are you saying?! AMANDA I’m sorry... I don’t know why I just said that... GREY COOPER Neither do I! Jesus, Amanda! Which really pisses her off. Triggers her anger AMANDA What, you don’t think I knew?! GREY COOPER (sputters) Knew what?! And why the hell are we talking about this right now? In front of people! Police people! AMANDA You fool! She was going to ruin everything for us! GREY COOPER What are you saying? AMANDA Our family, our future... (then) You promised me the White House. 46.

LUCIFER You’re not happy with this house? (to Chloe) See, I told you it was ugly. Bodyguard comes out. Drawn by the yelling. BODYGUARD Everything okay out here? CHLOE Mrs. Cooper, do you know something about Delilah’s death? A moment. AMANDA No. Nothing. Nothing at all. GREY COOPER She was with me last night. AMANDA And last time I checked, being happy that the slut your husband was screwing is dead isn’t against the law. LUCIFER No, just makes you a repulsive human being. BODYGUARD If you don’t have any further questions... The bodyguard moves to usher the Coopers into the house. Chloe studies him for a moment. CHLOE Hey, why are you on such high alert, big guy? You don’t need to worry about guarding them from the police. We’re not gonna bite. BODYGUARD Look, lady, I was on the job. I know how this goes. Unless you want to take this a step further, it’s time to hit the road. Chloe nods. Looks at Lucifer. 47.

CHLOE Let’s go. LUCIFER Are you sure? We could torch the place. I’m pretty good with fire. I don’t like to show off, though. I prefer to get by on wits alone. Chloe starts to walk off. Gets a few feet. Then turns back. CHLOE Hey! One more thing. (to Bodyguard) Were you with them last night? At the awards show? Bodyguard shakes his head. BODYGUARD It was my night off. CHLOE Okay. Whereabouts at eleven PM? BODYGUARD Driving home from a movie. Chloe looks at Lucifer. Smiles. CHLOE (low) That thing you do? Go do it... Lucifer smiles, nods. LUCIFER With pleasure. Lucifer approaches the Bodyguard. LUCIFER (CONT'D) One question, sir. What is it you want more than anything else in this life? What is your deepest desire? BODYGUARD I want to spend the rest of my life with the love of my life. CHLOE Who’s the love of your life? 48.

BODYGUARD None of your business. Chloe catches a quick look between Amanda and the bodyguard. She smiles. Something clicks. CHLOE You’re not having an affair with Mrs. Movie Star, are you? BODYGUARD That’s ridiculous. CHLOE Is it? Movie star husband beds young starlet, leaving movie star wife home alone with the kids. And the bodyguard. (to Lucifer) That’s how I was conceived. LUCIFER Really? How fascinating! You’ll have to tell me more later. Who’s your mother? Have I ever seen her naked? GREY COOPER (to Amanda) Are you seriously sleeping with Bobby?! Christ, what a cliche! AMANDA Are you kidding me right now?! You wanna talk about cliches?! And what, you’re the only one who’s allowed to screw someone else?! Fuming, Grey Cooper doesn’t know where to direct his energy. So he attacks the bodyguard. Chloe draws her gun. Bodyguard pulls one of his own. Amanda SCREAMS, runs inside. Grey Cooper follows. Lucifer walks up to the bodyguard, putting himself between the bodyguard and Chloe. LUCIFER What did you do, big man? BODYGUARD She talked me into it! She messed with my head! 49.

LUCIFER She used you, you fool. (then) What do you want to do right now? Do you want to shoot me with that? Shoot all of us? Go out in a blaze of glory? I don’t see a bright future for you, my friend... Bodyguard doesn’t see much of a future for himself either. He slowly puts the gun in his mouth. Lucifer chuckles. LUCIFER (CONT’D) No, no, no. That’s too good for you. Too easy. You robbed the world of an incredible talent. You need to feel pain, not escape it. Lucifer puts his fingertip to the bodyguard’s temple. A bolt of excruciating PAIN SHOOTS through the man’s head. He SCREAMS... And SHOOTS Lucifer -- He takes the bullet in the chest. Goes down. LUCIFER (CONT’D) (yells) Owwww! That hurts! Haven’t I been shot enough?! Chloe races over to Lucifer. There’s a hole in his jacket where the bullet went through. But no blood. No entry wound. In fact, Lucifer is fine. Clear-eyed. Smiling. Chloe is stunned. CHLOE Who the hell are you...? The bodyguard SHOOTS again, hitting Chloe -- And this time, there’s blood. Lots of it... FADE OUT. END OF ACT FOUR 50.

ACT FIVE

INT. BRENTWOOD MANSION - DAY Right where we left off. The Bodyguard is howling in pain. Lucifer goes over to Chloe. She’s fading fast. He puts his hands on her body. Feels a wave of pure unadulterated goodness wash over him. It’s overwhelming, really. Not to mention disgusting. It makes him nauseous. LUCIFER Your goodness is revolting... So much so that he vomits. Chloe looks up at him through clouded, murky eyes. CHLOE I want to live... Her deepest desire. Lucifer sighs. Closes his eyes. Sees --

FLASHES OF IMAGERY Chloe’s FRIENDS, FAMILY, her life. Her daughter, her ex. A life well-lived.

SNAP BACK TO THE NOW Where Lucifer finds himself moved by the simple beauty of Chloe’s life. And as much as he hates himself for doing it, he follows his gut and uses his power to save Chloe’s life. He puts his hands on her wounds healing her... It saps his strength. Finished, he sits back, exhausted.

INT. HOSPITAL - NIGHT Lucifer sits in a room. Chloe is in bed, sleeping. She wakes up, sees him. She’s groggy. 51.

CHLOE I’m not an idiot. LUCIFER So you say. CHLOE I should be dead. LUCIFER Yet you’re not. Get over it already. CHLOE He shot you. LUCIFER Your point? CHLOE You should be dead too. LUCIFER It would appear that I have an incredible immune system. CHLOE You’re also an incredible crime- fighting tool. LUCIFER Not to mention an incredible lover. CHLOE Who the hell are you? LUCIFER I told you. I’m -- TRIXIE (O.S.) Lucifer! It’s Chloe’s kid, Trixie, there to visit her mom. Father Dan in tow. Trixie hugs Lucifer, which makes him hugely uncomfortable. LUCIFER Now, now. That’s enough, child. Save some of this unpleasantness for your mother. Lucifer and Dan eye each other for a tense beat. 52.

LUCIFER (CONT’D) I think she’s one hell of a homicide detective, don’t you? DAN Yeah. She is. (to Chloe) You did good, kid. CHLOE Ya think? DAN Yeah. I do. And I’m sorry. (then) For everything... Chloe smiles, pleased. Looks like there’s some unfinished business here. She looks at Lucifer. CHLOE Hey, might need your help out there sometime... LUCIFER Yes, well, punishing people can be quite fun. You know where to find me. Lucifer watches this fractured family, curious as to why he gives a good goddamn about any of them. He slips out of the room, troubled.

EXT. LUX - NIGHT Lucifer pulls up. Gets out and heads for the club. That’s when we realize that someone is watching him from across the street... It’s Amenadiel. At the last second, Lucifer turns and sees him. They meet in the middle of the street. LUCIFER What do you want from me? AMENADIEL How does it feel... (then) ...to feel something? 53.

LUCIFER Strange. (then) But not entirely unpleasant. AMENADIEL So maybe there are things you care about more than yourself? LUCIFER Or maybe slaking my thirst for revenge is tickling all of my pleasure centers and I’m slightly woozy and disoriented. AMENADIEL Don’t forget. Your return has been requested. LUCIFER I already told you... AMENADIEL Ignore me and watch what happens. To you and those you suddenly care about. LUCIFER You dare threaten me? You want a war? AMENADIEL I would love a war. LUCIFER You’ll never be cunning enough to defeat me, Amenadiel. AMENADIEL (scowls) My hatred of you grows stronger with every visit. LUCIFER Wouldn’t have it any other way, pal. Look forward to eating your heart one day. Peace. Amenadiel turns and walks off, into the night, literally disappearing as he goes... 54.

INT. LUX - NIGHT Lucifer sits at the bar. Maze is there. She’s quiet. LUCIFER (sighs) I sense your disapproval, Maze. What is it? MAZE I just can’t understand why you would save her life. LUCIFER Because she asked me to. She said she wanted to live. MAZE So you made a deal with her? LUCIFER No. Not at all. I looked at her life. It was filled with people who love her. And need her. Especially the child. It didn’t seem right that the child would be orphaned. It’s not its fault that the mother is stupid. MAZE Stop caring! You’re the Devil! (then) And you’re oh so very good at it... Lucifer isn’t sure of anything anymore. He sits down at the piano and starts to play. After a moment, Maze starts to sing... An eerie, haunting rendition of “Sympathy For The Devil.” Which continues over the following...

INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE - DAY Kim Martin sits in her office, daydreaming, when she notices a little red light blinking above her door. She’s confused; she doesn’t have an appointment scheduled right now. She gets up, opens the door... Lucifer is sitting there in the waiting room. 55.

LUCIFER Here’s the deal. We can have as much naked cuddle time as you desire. But I need you to listen to me too. I have a few things I’d like to talk to you about. An existential dilemma or two. Deal? She smiles. Deal. FADE OUT.

END OF PILOT