1 TwoDee’s Shadowrun Storytime Written by TwoDee Edited and Compiled by Jarboot!!j4xjG8Gxyo4 Further Edited and Compiled by Impatient Asshole Anon What follows is arguably the best series of storytime threads ever created. If you're any sort of fan of Shadowrun—whether you're a new GM, newbie player, or even a veteran—this prose will really help flesh out what sort of fun you can have with the system and setting. It's nearly 400 pages and about 130,000 words, so download this to read on your phone/laptop/ebook/commlink, because this will take a while. I'm Jarboot, a fellow fa/tg/uy and Shadowrun fan. Someone suggested that someone make a compilation of this story for easier reading, so I figured I could do it. Editing is minimal, but I fixed a lot of spelling and general syntax error, most of which were mentioned by TwoDee in a post following the original. There are some little Jackpoint-esque comments from other people from the threads included in the document, which are differentiated by a green color and indented text. I may have included a picture or two in there, too. Also, 2D likes to do some foreshadowing at some points, so keep track of the greentexted dates if you feel confused. All these threads (except number 3, which you can search for using some of the other tags) can be found by searching for the “shadowrun storytime” tag on the /tg/ archive. Jarboot is an extremely helpful fa/tg/uy, but this particular Anon is an impatient asshole who wanted a fully updated version of TwoDee's Shadowrun Storytime, including but not limited to the full Chapter 15 and Chapters 21 and 21.5. I have compiled them to the best of my ability. With that being said, the editing done by myself is not perfect. There are mistakes, and I apologize for them. This started as a pet project and I thought to share it with the rest of you—hopefully without stepping on the toes of either Jarboot or TwoDee. A bit of commentary of TwoDee's writing style for anyone who hasn't been there for these threads: this storytime started as a That Guy thread, so it starts extremely casual in its theme. This includes directly using a great deal of slang and speaking as someone telling a storytime—because it was. When they lost the That Guy, the thread became more professional, and as such it evolved into more detailed and proper prose, so don't leave because it seems too informal. That will soon change. TwoDee himself has commented that he plans on doing a re-release of the first chapters to be more like the latter pieces—a director's cut, if you will. Without any more ado, please enjoy this presentation of the sickest shit to ever Shadowrun. 2 Table of Contents Pg. 8........Chapter 01 – The Start of Darkness Pg. 21......Chapter 02 – Gepetto Pg. 32......Chapter 03 – Viking-Ghost Fist Fights, Ghoul Hospitals, and All-Around Awesomeness Pg. 44......Chapter 04 – Ares, Interrogations, and SINs Pg. 60......Chapter 05 – Hunt for Joy, Dirty Dealings, and Dervish's Revelations Pg. 68......Chapter 06 – Bend, Stoned Spirits, and 2D's Orgasm Pg. 87......Chapter 07 – Tokyo Shenanigans Pg. 126....Chapter 08 – Lagos, Nextwave, and 'Runner on 'Runner Action Pg. 160....Chapter 09 – Pimp Suits, Wedding Bells, and the End of the Two-Times Arc Pg. 182....Chapter 10 – New Members, Robberies, and Fast Cars Pg. 200....Chapter 11 – A Hot Summer, More Robberies, and GEMS Pg. 213....Chapter 12 – College, Talking Blenders, and Nuclear Spirits Pg. 234....Chapter 13 – Bullets, Bombs, and Flower Petals Pg. 244....Chapter 14 – Cultists, Capybaras, and a Familiar Fish Pg. 262....Chapter 15 – Invisible Kangaroos, Scientists, and the Magic Police Pg. 306....Chapter 16 – Felix the Eagle Warrior, Supersonic Cars, and Drunken Hold-Ups Pg. 328....Chapter 17 – Helicopters, Troll Gangs, and Christmas Pg. 346....Chapter 18 – Kids, Demons, and the Trip to Hell Pg. 378....Chapter 19 – The Final Run, Part 01 Pg. 419....Chapter 20 – The Final Run, Part 02 Pg. 462....Chapter 21 – The Final Run, Part 03 Pg. 540....Epilogue 3 Introduction by TwoDee As a general rule I really enjoy /tg/'s tales of woe and wonderment , enough so that I'd like to think that one of my gaming groups ongoing tales is worthy of adding to the fold. In particular, it is the tale of TROUT, formerly called “DEAD MAN” (his own personal choice of street name), techno-ninja extraordinaire and That Guy also extraordinaire. Those of you prone to screaming "WEEABOO" at every character concept, prepare to scream it at a character that deserves it. Ask three Shadowrun players what the core character roles of Shadowrun are, especially Shadowrun 4th Edition, and you'll get four answers. I've got a little exercise from you, /tg/, for more storytelling “oomph,” which requires a basic consensus on the character roles. Hence, for said exercise, we will assume that there are four core roles: Street Samurai, Hacker, Mage, and Infiltrator. Though the team had both a Rigger and a Face as well, these were both half-roles and thus are irrelevant in this particular instance.1 In brief summary: >A Street Samurai is a combat monster who fucks shit up, and usually figures prominently in backup plans. >A Hacker is a nerd who runs everything computer-related. >A Mage is your dude who does magic. No fucking shit. >An Infiltrator is a guy who either ninjas or bluffs his way in to gather intel or complete mission objectives. If anyone could confirm that they're in the thread, I can move on to the next part of said exercise. Basically, we're going to play a little game, and I need someone to answer questions for this game. I'm going to describe each of our player characters in order. You are going to guess what role they filled. That way, when you hit That Guy, you can properly appreciate the dawning horror that filled the hearts of the GM and all of the other players. Sound good? 1 Riggers focus on maaging drones and vehicles. The Face is the specialist on social interaction—talking to the Johnson, using their skills to achieve objectives that the Infiltrator can't sneak past, and so forth. 4 CHARACTER ONE: >Real Name: John Doe? >Street Name: Dervish, formerly "Featherstep" >Metatype: Orc Dervish was a genengineered super-soldier who woke up in an alleyway in Everett with a pair of pants, a room key to a coffin hotel, twenty bucks, and a host of comically illegal cyber bits. Experimental cybereyes? Check. Implanted blades all throughout the body? Check. Wolverine skeleton? Check. Rocket feet? Check motherfucking check. Dude was like a hoverbike on legs. Whatever he was before his memory got erased, Dervish apparently wasn't very nice. Well, assuming he wasn't, like, in a tube up until fifteen minutes before the start of the campaign. His positive qualities were mostly stuff like biocompatibility and a type O system—which make it easier to put bioengineered parts in him—and his negative qualities involved him being an amnesiac (amnesia rank 1) and having no contacts (hung out to dry), what with probably being a brainless tube baby prior to the campaign. I'm sorry if this is insultingly obvious, but it's for good reason to emphasize the terribleness of the last character. Which role did Dervish fill? >Mage >Hacker >Street Samurai >Infiltrator >Street samurai? Correct! 5 CHARACTER TWO >Real Name: Malcolm McWilliams >Street Name: 2D >Metatype: Human 2D was a teenage member of the criminal hacking group Chaos Engine (fluffed as /b/ but more murderous) and an all around directionless loser when the Crash 2.0 rendered him comatose at his computer. Waking up in the hospital to find his immediate family deceased and his pockets empty, he was swiftly placated by his mind's quasi-mystical connection to the new Wireless Matrix. After a shits-and-giggles crime spree he was pinched by Evo Biomedical Seattle. He was only saved from the dissection table by the timely intervention of a bunch of novacoked-up Halloweeners blowing up the warehouse he was being temporarily held in. At the time of the start of this story, he is known by the media as the 2D Bomber, a terrorist wanted for using matrix-connected RC cars and walking dolls loaded up with nitro and hand grenades to blast Evo medical clinics. Negative Qualities: >Enemy: Evo Biomedical Seattle >Vendetta: Evo Biomedical Seattle >Signature: leaves a databomb on hacked nodes, with an old-timey-gunpowder-bomb icon. >Paranoid: EVO IS AFTER ME YOU GUYS Positive Qualities: >Technomancer >Paragon: Daedalus (Basically he's like the hardware tech support guy from hell) >Erased: When he shows up in video feeds, an old-timey bomb appears over his face, Laughing Man style. >Made Man: Chaos Engine 2D was a... >Mage >Hacker >Infiltrator >Hacker! Correctamundo! 6 CHARACTER THREE >Real Name: Damien Sanitiere >Street Name: Geppetto >Metatype: Elf Although an unassuming suburban Italian-American white-collar Ares middle management man by day, Damien hides a terrible secret: he is actually a serial killer obsessed with ritual suicide, using mind-and-body-puppeting magic to orchestrate a spat of suicides and murder-suicides across Seattle. He keeps his dual life well-hidden, carefully concealing his magical talent. His magic in and of itself is perverse and sinister, reflecting his nihilist beliefs: his spirits are cruel, spiteful things, taking the forms of mysterious men in black, mocking fey, and whirlwinds of infernal fire.