On the air Bottled of f stage New tricks Imperial and the arts Student television at Imperial Was this year’s Reading Festival Felix Film reviews the Making the College College, page 11 the worst ever? Page 13 macabre Oldboy, page 18 look interesting, page 17

The student newspaper of Imperial College ● Established 1949 ● Issue 1300 ● Thursday 7 October 2004 ● www.felixonline.co.uk

Funding changes The Secretary of State has A fine start to Freshers Week proposed changes to the Union card university funding system in order to preserve science departments that might oth- erwise close. uNEWS page 2 confusion Science candidate By Dave Edwards The confusion appears Scientific issues are proving Editor to have been caused by the to be some of the most divi- short timescale in which the sive in this year’s US presi- Imperial College Union cards decision was taken – it only dential elections. are no longer being issued to became clear during the sum- uSCIENCE page 4 students, but a large propor- mer that the Registry would tion of freshers and return- have the required infor- Doughnuts ing students were unaware of mation. The decision was “Quality is surely more the change when arriving at taken in the absence of the important than quantity. To College this week. President, and without the that end, the dairy cream Swipe cards will now take input of the Union’s Executive filled chocolate coated dough- over all the functions of the Committee. The change was nuts at Miss Ellie’s in South old Union cards, with new not mentioned in the Union Kensington station come electronic card readers being handbook or publicised at all highly recommended.” installed where necessary. until a late stage approaching uCOMMENT page 6 In the past, the cards were the beginning of term. issued so that the Union Mr Arif continued: “It’s ben- New section could collect essential infor- eficial to students if they don’t Felix introduces a fortnightly mation about its members. have to have a separate Union Careers section, providing a They were also seen as a card. But if it looks like a last range of information and fea- good marketing tool, attract- minute rush job that hasn’t tures to help you into the big ing students to come to the wide world after Imperial. Union and also giving them uCA REERS page 8 the chance to obtain certain “It’s beneficial student discounts. to students if New Zealand However, printing several A full report on Imperial thousand Union cards each they don’t need College Union Rugby Football year can become an expen- Club’s summer tour. sive operation, and it is incon- a separate uSPORT page 20 venient for students to have to queue for long periods to Union card” obtain one. Now, with the introduction been done in the most rigor- of a new computer system, ous manner, that’s probably the College Registry is able because it is.” He added that to provide the Union with the he is in the process of setting data it needs, and the market- up a working group within ing issue was thought to have the College to consider the been dealt with by an agree- issue of student identification The Rugby Club in New ment to put the Union logo further. Zealand onto College swipe cards. Nightline, the charity pro- Mustafa Arif, President of viding a confidential listen- Imperial College Union, told ing service for students, has THIS WEEK Felix: “The idea of a joint had its logo removed from the News page 2 College and Union card has back of all new swipe cards. Business page 3 been floated for a long time, Sam Rorke, Imperial College Science page 4 and I think most people would Union’s Deputy President Comment page 6 agree that it is sensible.” (Education and Welfare), Careers page 8 However, College Communi- said: “It was handy to have What’s on page 9 cations have since refused to the details on the back of the put the Union logo onto swipe swipe card, because it provid- Music page 12 cards, saying that they need ed a quick and easy reference Nightlife page 14 more time to consider the so that those in distress could Arts page 17 implications of such a change. get help quickly.” Books page 18 It is thought that other organ- Imperial students will not Fi lm page 18 isations or groups might obtain University of London Crossword page 19 wish to follow suit, leaving Union (ULU) cards either. Another Imperial year begins: students move into Linstead hall (top), BBC 1Xtra’s Ollie the swipe cards covered with Again, the College swipe card Sport page 20 and Jason play at The Mingle on Saturday night (middle), the dBs crowd enjoy some several different logos. will be acceptable instead. breakdancing (left) and three freshers smile for the camera in Beit Quad (right) Felix 2 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

NEWS [email protected] Government Issue 1300 Wye students join hunt Editor intervenes Dave Edwards in university Business Editor protest outside Commons Numaan Chaudhry science Science Editor By Dave Edwards Darius Nikbin Editor funding Music Editor As the Hunting Bill was Andrew Sykes being debated in the House By Emily Gwyer of Commons last month, a Nightlife Editor number of past and present The Secretary of State for Simon Clark Imperial College students Education and Skills, Charles Arts Editor were involved in the protests Clarke, this week proposed Paola Smith outside. changes to the current sys- The Wye Beagles (formerly tem of university funding in Books Editor the Wye College Beagles) are order to preserve the teach- Martin Smith an amateur and young per- ing of science in departments Film Editor sons’ pack with close links to that might otherwise close. Alan Ng the Wye campus and the stu- The last ten years have dents’ union. Six of the cur- seen a dramatic drop in the Careers Editors rent hunt staff and committee number of students enrolled Gabriella Silvestri are either current Imperial on science courses in Britain, Cassandra Aldrich students or graduates of the particularly the physical sci- College. ences, and the market-led Felix Kirsty Massey, joint mas- approach to university fund- Beit Quad ter of the Beagles and about ing has meant that several Prince Consort Road to start a Masters course at departments, such as the London SW7 2BB Wye, told Felix why she took Kings College chemistry part in the rally in Parliament department, have had to Telephone: 020 7594 8072 Square: “We need to show close. Email: [email protected] people opposed to hunting Mr Clarke believes that Web: www.felixonline.co.uk that we have not given up producing science under- and will not take a ban lying graduates is of significant Registered newspaper down.” importance to the economy ISSN 1040-0711 Henry Walker, a former stu- and has therefore proposed dent master and huntsman, new changes to the funding Copyright © Felix 2004 expressed his fondness for system whereby new subsi- hunting and his frustration at dies are levied or tuition fees Printed by Sharman and the ban: “The first time I saw House of disorder: there were chaotic scenes both inside and outside the Commons as the waived. Company, Peterborough the Wye College pack was on Hunting Bill was debated last month The news has been wel- a rainy day during Freshers comed by the scientific com- Week. From that point on, I fought with police outside. Beagles are not ready to However, other students munity, which has been lob- was hooked. Everyone was Some invaded the House admit defeat on an issue and societies at Imperial are bying Mr Clarke over the very friendly and what struck of Commons, prompting about which so many of their likely to support the hunting matter, but his plans will me was that everyone had a calls for drastic changes to members feel so strongly. ban. require the agreement of genuine love for the country- Parliamentary security meas- Coincidentally, several sen- vice-chancellors, who may side.” Mr Walker continued: ures. ior Imperial College Union see Government intervention “I have been to every London The Bill was passed by “What will we officers were inside Portcullis as unwelcome. The process, rally and hunt protest for the 356 votes to 166. It is now House at the time, and were bound to be long and tortur- last six years. What will we almost certain to become have to do asked whether or not they ous, has only just begun, but have to do before they listen law through the Parliament before they supported the Bill. Most we wait with interest to see to us?” Act, with an official ban set to replied “no”, citing the exist- if Britain’s future science As the Bill was being begin in summer 2006. listen to us?” ence of the Wye Beagles as students are rewarded with debated, hunt supporters Unsurprisingly, the Wye the main reason why. extra money. Fears of new measles epidemic in London

By Emily Gwyer of the Royal Free Hospital from 92% before the press published an article in The conference to the current low Fears were raised this week Lancet discussing bowel dis- of 68%, despite many other of a new epidemic of measles ease and autism. In the press studies failing to repeat the in London, as government sci- conference for the article, Dr findings of Dr Wakefield. This entists warned parents about Wakefield went further and was followed by ten of the the extremely low take-up of suggested a link between paper’s co-authors retracting the MMR vaccine. the vaccine and the onset of their names from the article London has the lowest autism. Although the sample and Dr Wakefield’s subse- immunisation rate in the group of 12 children was far quent resignation. country, with fewer than 62% Many parents remain wor- of babies having had the jab “Take-up of the ried, bamboozled by the sci- in south London and in other ence and angry about the pat- boroughs including Haringey triple vaccine ronising attitude of govern- and Tower Hamlets. 95% of ment officials. An epidemic is the population must be immu- has fallen to now a serious possibility. nised against a disease in Measles symptoms begin order to reduce the chances the current low with fever before a rash of two non-immunised peo- appears, usually on the head ple meeting each other to of 68%” and then spreading to the practically zero (this is called body. After three to five days, ‘herd immunity’). Without this smaller than previous stud- the spots may blend into each immunity, certain groups, par- ies (which had shown no ill other as the illness progress- ticularly primary school chil- effects), it was explosive. es. Students are not at as high dren, are at risk of contract- Natural parental fears a risk as young children. ing the disease, which can over risks to their children ● The Imperial College be fatal. Up to 20% of adult were matched with serious Health Centre’s 24 hour sufferers are hospitalised. mistrust of government sci- telephone number is 020 The controversy over the entists, and the newspapers 7584 6301. Their website MMR vaccine began in 1998, stirred up the panic. Take-up address is www.ic.ac.uk/ when Dr Andrew Wakefield of the triple vaccine has fallen healthcentre Needles seem necessary: the number of people being immunised is now dangerously low Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 3

Business [email protected] Covering the topics that matter

As the reader may have clev- ing for Felix in Beit Quad, of knowledge by offering any- gered them and how this will I look forward to hearing erly noticed from the previ- you’ll find me either hitting thing you deem appropriate. affect students at Imperial from you – feel free to e-mail ous edition of Felix, there’s the keyboard at the Huxley If that means submitting a especially. me at the address below about a new face in town. Allow me labs or practising Tae Kwon review of a new bond offering, Do bear in mind that a this article, future industry to introduce myself as the Do at Wilson House. With that the transcript of an interview whole week’s events are scoops or anything at all that new editor of the Business short intro out of the way, I with a CEO or even a sales being summarised in a frac- you feel is worth considering. section. can now explain exactly what pitch for the latest stock to tion of the space taken up I hope these pages will be as Having successfully con- I’ll be filling up these pages hit the market, I want to hear by a business newspaper enjoyable for you to read as quered the first year, I am with every week. from you. such as the Telegraph or the they are for me to write. about to embark on the First and foremost, I urge My aim in all future issues Financial Times, so forgive Below are the particulars treacherous second year the reader, whatever your will be to give the reader me if certain stories have of just a few of the biggest of JMC (Joint Maths and business orientation may be, an insight into the previous been sacrificed to make way stories in the business world NUMAAN CHAUDHRY Computing). If I’m not writ- to contribute to this fountain week’s events, what trig- for others. over the past few weeks. BUSINESS EDITOR Latest from the Square Mile With one very eventful week co ming to a close on Sunday, you should anticipate some shocking headlines in the next fortnight

LandSec

A huge property securitisa- tion deal was announced on Monday last in a successful attempt by Land Securities, the UK’s largest property company, to ease its debt accumulation and increase borrowing capacity. The £2.4bn bond issue is the result of a new (and clever) refinancing agreement with Lloyds Bank and Citigroup, who will jointly underwrite the issue. LandSec has decided to exchange this bond issue in favour to its existing unse- cured bonds and mortgage debentures, a form of debt instrument, but without any backing collateral. As a con- sequence of this, the compa- ny will save itself £24m a year from interest charges alone, and since Standard & Poor’s debt rating for LandSec has leaped from A- to AA, it has increased its borrowing strength considerably. However, all is not rosy as the firm will witness a deficit Price perplexity: the value of crude oil is increasing by the day and these containers in Germany look set to empty of almost £700m in profits due to an exceptional accounting Weill to tempt them into Sachs, Morgan Stanley and Now that the price of crude made $6.4bn when it sold months ago was his last, but hit as a result of its refinanc- going public. However, given Dresdner KW. oil futures has reached the it’s richest fields to Union insiders have revealed that ing deal. Wasserstein’s success in the psychologically important $50 Pacific Resources Group Green has approached HSBC past with selling Wasserstein, Crude oil price surge mark, consumers are start- Incorporated. So what can for additional funding. Up to Lazard Perella & Co to Dresdner ing to feel the pinch more we, Imperial students, learn $1bn was being requested to Bank in 2000, it is only expect- Urgent action is needed than ever. But it is the less from this price rampage help finance his future takeo- Lazard, the only private ed that Wasserstein can see a to ensure that sky-high oil technologically advanced oil that has shocked so many ver. That’s right, you heard it partnership in global invest- sale through the corner of prices do not derail the sta- drilling and extraction indus- and left thousands of smaller here first: Green is planning ment banking and one of the his eye to Deutsche Bank or bility of the global economy, tries who have actually been businesses bust? Well, now another takeover of M&S to world’s most pre-eminent the Bank of America, both of the International Monetary hit hardest by this landmark is definitely not the time to satisfy his fetish for retailers firms, is set to float on the whom have given indications Foundation reported last price. ChevronTexaco, for buy a petrol-greedy Ferrari and to add to his present col- stock market by the end of of their interest in buying week. Crude oil, one of the instance, drilled the deep- Scaglietti! lection of Burton, BHS and this week. For all you future Lazard. The firm’s success in most rapidly rising commodi- est well ever last year (four Arcadia. Lazard I-Bankers, now’s the the past has been attributed ties of all time, has been ris- miles), but the only differ- The future “Lazard prepares to time to concentrate. to the fact that it has decided ing unexpectedly for over two ence it made to their balance defend a hostile takeover The 156-year-old bank’s to specialise in giving merg- years now, due to almost a sheet was a $50m deficit, the The future, the future. from Deutsche Bank” has future lay last week at the ers and acquisitions advice to dozen different factors. cost of the operation. Indeed if I could predict the a fair chance of making the hands of Lazard’s chairman, large corporations as well as Among the most influen- On the other hand, Pennzoil future I would have a dozen headlines next week. Given Michel David-Weill, and his having a small but success- tial of these were the threat Company, a much smaller Scaglietti’s in my assets port- Deutsche Bank’s recent fall investing group, Eurazeo. ful underwriting and trading by Nigerian rebels to dis- technologically advanced folio by now. Alas it is not so; in mergers and acquisitions The man behind the IPO practice. rupt supplies, a hurricane firm, spent much of its instead I propose the next revenues, this would be an push is Bruce Wasserstein, This success, though, can- in the Gulf of Mexico that resources in pinpointing best thing, my predictions. understandable move, as the legendary investment not continue without Lazard lowered output, and the fact exactly where in their global To think that the M&S saga Lazard is renowned world- banker at Lazard who has expanding due to the ever- that China’s industry is now fields the hidden sources of was over is foolish. It may wide for it’s strength in merg- had continuing discussions increasing size of its main guzzling 6.3m barrels a day, oil and gas were. This strat- seem that Philip Green’s bid ers and acquisitions advisory with the firm’s partners and competitors, Goldman second only to the US. egy paid off for Pennzoil, who for Marks & Spencer four services. Felix 4 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

Science [email protected] Who is the candidate for science? With four weeks to go, scientific issues such as global warming and stem cell research are proving to be some of the most divisive in this year’s US presidential elections

By Darius Nikbin had misrepresented the find- issues of climate change and Science Editor ings of the National Academy stem cell research, where of Sciences and other experts the candidates take opposing In less than a month, America on climate change to suit stances. On climate change, goes to the polls to choose themselves. the Bush administration has between John Kerry and Furthermore, in April’s been heavily criticised for dis- George W Bush. So far, most issue of Scientific American, missing cuts in greenhouse of what we have heard from the editorial compared the gas emissions recommended the candidates seems to Bush administration’s atti- by the Kyoto Protocol. They revolve around the situation tude towards science with claim to favour the develop- in Iraq and the ‘war on ter- that of 1930s Stalinist Russia – ment of cleaner fuel-burn- ror’. Domestic issues seem where Lysenkoism promoted ing technologies and volun- less important than the can- unsuccessful and damaging tary industry-led reductions. didates’ Vietnam war records. scientific theories that fell in Kerry has also dismissed the We have not, however, heard line with ideology, rather than Kyoto Protocol in its current much from the candidates in successful theories that were format, but is keen to resume the run-up to these elections supported by experiment. international climate change on the really divisive issues. This sort of antiscientifc negotiations. Unsurprisingly, Science policy is one of these. attitude is not surprising con- Kerry is widely held to be the In February this year, 60 sidering that George W Bush greener candidate. of America’s leading scien- was once famously quoted as Bush’s position on climate tists, including Nobel laure- saying “the jury’s still out” on change can be attributed ates, medical experts, former to his party’s extensive ties federal agency directors and “The scientists with the oil industry, who Amerika is wunderbar: Kerry (left) and Bush are divided on controversial science university chairs, voiced bankrolled his 2000 election their concern at the mis- accuse the Bush success. For example, Dick life”. His all-out ban on the When compared his stance the scientific community or use of science by the Bush administration of Cheney, the vice-president, federal funding of research on climate change, Bush’s those who could be cured as a administration. In the months was the former chief execu- on stem cell lines created position on stem cell research result of such research. since this report, presented fiddling findings to tive of oil giants Halliburton, after August 2001 (which does is of a different, more funda- As the gap between the by the Union of Concerned a company who have swept still allow limited research on mental, even religious nature. candidates narrows after the Scientists (UCS), 5000 scien- suit their political up billions of dollars worth of older samples) would, how- It is an issue to which Bush Presidential debates, these tists have signed in support agenda” Iraqi oil contracts. ever, be lifted by an incoming claims to have given a great could be the issues that of the document, which was When it came to human Kerry administration. Kerry deal of “thought, prayer and could decide who will win. entitled Restoring Scientific whether man had descended embryonic stem cell research, cites that “more than 100 mil- considerable reflection”. He My answer to the headline? Integrity in Policy Making. from the apes. Bush is not a Bush based his decision to lion Americans suffer from is even said to have consulted Kerry, of course. The scientists accuse the man who is affected by over- go against the advice of sci- illnesses that one day could the Vatican before making the Bush administration of fid- whelming and incontraven- entists on his concerns for be wiped away with stem cell decision to ban any further l For further informa- dling findings to suit their able scientific evidence. “violating ethical principles” therapy, including cancer, production of stem cell lines tion about the Union of political agenda. According to The real scientific battle- and his insistence on “main- Parkinson’s, diabetes, and for research. But this is of Concerned Scientists, the UCS, the administration grounds this year are on the taining respect for all human other debilitating diseases”. absolutely no consolation to visit www.ucsusa.org Inventor of the combover wins legendary Ig Nobel prize

By Darius Nikbin Reference: “The Effect of that’s been dropped on the onstrating that when people Country Music on Suicide.” floor. pay close attention to some- This year’s Ig Nobel award Social Forces, vol 71, no 1, thing, it’s all too easy to over- ceremony celebrated some September 1992, pp 211-8. Chemistry look anything else – even a of the world’s most unique The Coca-Cola Company man in a gorilla suit. and imaginative pieces of Physics of Great Britain, for using Reference: “Gorillas in Our research. Ramesh Balasubramaniam advanced technology to con- Midst”, vol 28, Perception, The prizes were awarded of the University of Ottawa, vert liquid from the River 1999, pp 1059-74. at Harvard University’s and Michael Turvey of the Thames into Dasani, a trans- Demonstration: http://viscog. Sanders Theatre to individu- University of Connecticut, for parent form of water, which beckman.uiuc.edu/media/ als who had really pushed the exploring and explaining the for precautionary reasons ig.html (definitely worth a boundaries of comprehension. dynamics of hula-hooping. has been made unavailable to visit). The genuine, but somewhat Reference: “Coordination consumers. amusing, studies included an Modes in the Multisegmental Economics experiment involving a man Dynamics of Hula Hooping.” Engineering The Vatican, for outsourcing Winner: a man in a gorilla suit in a gorilla suit, Coca Cola’s Biological Cybernetics, vol Donald J Smith and his father, prayers to India. remarketing of tap water 90, no 3, March 2004, pp 176- the late Frank J Smith, of Dill of Simon Fraser Reference: “Sounds pro- (Dasani), the man who pat- 90 Orlando, Florida, USA, for Peace University, Robert Batty of duced by herring (Clupea ented the combover, and fish patenting the combover (US Daisuke Inoue of Hyogo, the Scottish Association for harengus) bubble release” who communicate by break- Public health Patent number 4,022,227). Japan, for inventing karaoke, Marine Science, Magnus Magnus Wahlberg and ing wind. Jillian Clarke of the Chicago thereby providing an entirely Whalberg of the University Hakan Westerberg, Aquatic And the winners of these High School for Agricultural Psychology new way for people to learn to of Aarhus [Denmark], Living Resources, vol 16, prestigious awards were... Sciences, and then Howard Daniel Simons of the tolerate each other. and Hakan Westerberg of 2003, pp 271-5. University, for investigat- University of Illinois at Sweden’s National Board of Medicine ing the scientific validity of Urbana-Champaign and Biology Fisheries, for showing that l The Ig Nobel website: Steven Stack of Wayne State the Five Second Rule about Christopher Chabris of Ben Wilson of the University of herrings apparently commu- www.improb.com/ig/ig- University, Detroit, USA. whether it’s safe to eat food Harvard University, for dem- British Columbia, Lawrence nicate by farting. top.html Felix Science is looking for regular and occasional contributors. If you are interested in writing science news, reviewing websites, or want to write a feature article about a subject you are interested in, email [email protected] and we will provide you with the platform to write for Imperial. Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 5

SCIENCE [email protected] Plants’ role in global warming reevaluated 50 years New research suggests that the planet’s ability to adapt to rising carbon dioxide of atom levels with help from plants may have been overestimated smashing By James Berry culture in concentrations phytoplankton is a serious By Darius Nikbin Biochemistry department that reflect current and blow to those hoping that forecasted CO2 levels. The Kingdom Plantae will take Last week, the world’s most In the week that the Kyoto cells were then tested for up our collective carbon pre-eminent laboratory for the protocol was finally ratified, photosynthetic capacity and slack. Oceanic phytoplank- study of particle physics cele- more worrying research on limiting density as indica- ton are currently predicted brated its 50th birthday. CERN, the planet’s ability to adapt tors of growth. But instead to account for 45% of global often dubbed the ‘Mecca of to its rising atmospheric of observing an amplified net primary carbon produc- physics’ has during the last carbon levels has been pub- growth rate and increased tion, nearly three times that five decades been a shining lished. biomass, no discernable of the tropical rainforests example of scientific progress It seems that the interna- difference was determined [1]. So it seems unlikely that through ‘big science’ and inter- tional efforts to cap escalat- between the cell lines. any government-sponsored national collaboration. ing carbon dioxide emissions forest, specially planted to In 1954, when CERN (Conseil have come about just in time. “Oceanic carbon-sink our way out of Européen pour la Recherche Optimistic sceptics of global trouble, will manage more Nucléaire) was established, the warming, who believe that phytoplankton are than a finger-prod against world was still in shock from plants will proportionally currently predicted a wall of greenhouse gases, the awesome power unleashed increase their carbon influx especially when a sink as by the bombing of Hiroshima in response to our carbon to account for 45% large as an ocean remains and Nagasaki. Understanding efflux, have just been com- of global net carbon static. the inner workings of the atom promised. Proposals to alle- References: became a priority for Europe, viate climate change by cre- production, nearly [1] The paper itself: and CERN became a symbol ating forests, where boosted three times that of Collins, S and Bell, G (2004) of post-war scientific collabo- growth is stimulated by an “Phenotypic consequences ration. enriched atmosphere, seem tropical rainforests” of 1000 generations of selec- It was not until 1984, when less sure. tion at elevated CO2 in a Europe beat the US to the Researchers from McGill The researchers suggest green alga.” Nature 431, ground breaking discovery of University, Montreal have that this observation can be 556-9. the W and Z particles of the studied [1] the responses of explained by the intercel- [2] Field, C, Behrenfield, weak interaction, that CERN several growth lines of the lular physiology of the alga. M and Falkowski, P (1998) gradually became recognised alga Chlamydomonas rein- If their theory is correct, the “Primary production of the as the world’s premier particle hardtii grown under ambi- net result of rising atmos- biosphere: integrating ter- physics research facilty. ent and elevated CO2 con- pheric carbon levels for the restrial and oceanic compo- Europe is currently build- centrations, to high doses photosynthetic microorgan- nents.” Science 281, 237-240. ing the Large Hadron Collider of CO2. The cells’ cultures isms will be very little. (LHC) at CERN. It’s opening were grown for around Furthermore, the non- l James Berry is editor in 2007 will be another land- 1000 generations in liquid involvement of the ocean’s of www.plantnews.co.uk Phytoplankton: microscopic plants abundant in the oceans mark in CERN’s history.

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Comment [email protected] Presidential phone-in

Hopefully you have all (almost) sur- society you find offensive, my views of their audit, solicit a submission consider this a sensible option. I vived Freshers Week. You’ll there- on euthanasia, what underwear I’m STATE OF from the Union. Ultimately many no longer feel that guzzling down fore be starting to get an appre- wearing... the possibilities are end- changes, if they improve things, can a pack of 10 doughnuts in one go is ciation for what Imperial College is less! THE UNION be beneficial to students, and the sensible. like, the unique culture of this insti- Union can play a very positive part Quality is surely more impor- tution and it’s vibrant student body Elections: STAND in the change process. tant than quantity. To that end, the (demonstrated so magnificently at For students to benefit, however, dairy cream filled chocolate coated the Freshers Fair). You will have noticed, I hope, that the Union must be representative doughnuts at Miss Ellie’s in South elections are happening and there – that is to say that the views it Kensington station come highly rec- I’m on the radio are plenty of representative posi- voices must genuinely reflect the ommended. But if you really want tions to stand for, especially for grass roots views of the students. to treat yourself, go to the Harrods Starting tonight (Thursday) is the postgraduates. Please do consider The only way that can happen is if Food Hall (only for special occa- first weekly Fireside show at 6pm standing for election if you think you a sufficiently large proportion of the sions, but you do get to ‘try’ one for on IC Radio. can represent your peers. student body participates in the vot- free if you say that you haven’t had What’s IC Radio? It’s your award- Representation is important. It’s ing process. one before!) Don’t forget the milk winning student radio station, at ultimately the most important rea- Anyway, enough of my inane shake. www.icradio.com. Imperial College son for the Union to exist. Students ramblings. Go to www.union.ic.ac. Union plays host to some of the come to College first and foremost MUSTAFA ARIF uk/elections. Now. Please. Pretty Finally... most dynamic media societies to have a good education (in all UNION PRESIDENT please. With a cherry on top. thanks to our state of the art Media aspects, such as extra-curricular, The Union is here to serve you. I Centre. not just on their degree course). Doughnuts know I wrote this last week, but Anyway, the Fireside show will fea- The job of the Union is to ensure College (Pro Rectors and Faculty it’s worth saying again. If you think ture the Felix editor and myself live that the College delivers on this Principals) are new, and they will Regular readers will recall that last there is something we are doing on air. We’ll start with a Presidential commitment and also to ensure that want to leave their mark in a big way. year I wrote about the best places wrong or have ideas for things we address on the week’s big stories provision is improved for the future This year, the College is also going to purchase doughnuts. Those with could do better, please do not hesi- (generally the Felix front page), and when decisions are being made by through a an educational quality better memories will remember tate to get in touch. My office is on then it’ll be your chance to phone College authorities. audit from the Quality Assurance that I suggested Tesco as the best the first floor of the Union Building in and ask questions. Ask anything The College is going through Agency (QAA), who are responsible value place to go. Following further and I’m always happy to make time you like. The future of fox hunting a period of change. Most of the for ensuring that teaching quality is doughnut investigations, I would to see students, as are the rest of at Wye, the legality of that obscure senior academic leadership of the maintained. The QAA will, as part like to confirm that I no longer the team.

The European Social Forum is coming to London

So, the European Social Forum against racism, discrimination and held in Florence, Italy, the Italian welfare issues on campus, whether (ESF) is coming to London. But the far right; environmental crisis universities were forced to close they be the individual and personal what actually is the ESF, and why and a sustainable planet. due to the vast numbers of students problems that any one of us may should we, as students of Imperial The event will see non-governmen- attending the event. The scale of face, or the ongoing fights against College, care? Well, that is what I tal organisations, religious groups, the ESF is clearly huge, and we top-up fees and increases in hall am going to try to explain, as well as socialists, environmentalists, trade are very privileged to have it right rents. why I believe it is important for as unionists, anti-capitalists and many here on our doorstep. No doubt the Another world is possible. Let’s many students as possible to attend other groups ending with ‘-ists’ com- size of the ESF will soon become start to find out how. the event, which is being held in ing together for a festival for global apparent, with some of our clubs To register for the ESF or to find Alexandra Palace and Bloomsbury justice for all. Speakers include Dr and societies getting involved in out more, visit www.fse-esf.org. on 15–17 October. Aleida Guevara (Che’s daughter), promoting it. The ESF is described as ‘the larg- Muslim writer Tariq Ramadan, third I am a great believer in the idea ● Colin Smith is the Welfare est gathering in British history’ world debt expert Susan George, COLIN SMITH that Imperial College Union should Campaigns Officer of Imperial – tens of thousands of people, from and many others including John not isolate itself from the ‘real College Union. He works with the every background imaginable, will Pilger and Tony Benn. But the ESF WELFARE CAMPAIGNS world’ out there, and in no area is Deputy President (Education and be gathering in London under the isn’t just about meetings. The event OFFICER this more important than in wel- Welfare) in researching and organ- phrase ‘Another World is Possible’, will also feature film showings, such fare. Every welfare issue we face in ising campaigns and awareness to debate and discuss how to get as those introduced by Ken Loach, Algerian president and anti-colonial College will be rooted or mirrored events. If you have any comments there. It will be focused around and music, with a huge anti-fascist resistance leader Ahmed Ben Bella in the wider world. And the more or questions, or would like to con- six major themes: war and peace; concert one evening. On the final introducing the classic film Battle of of us that attend the ESF and take tact Colin about the ESF or any democracy and fundamental rights; day, there will be a massive interna- Algiers, with a new score performed part in debates on welfare issues other welfare-related concerns, he social justice and solidarity; corpo- tional anti-war demonstration, end- by Asian Dub Foundation. on a global scale, the more we will would be happy to hear from you at rate globalisation and global justice; ing in Trafalgar Square with former Two years ago, when the ESF was be united and prepared to tackle [email protected].

Away from home for the first time?

For many of you, this may be the ● things not being what you expect- a great way of meeting new people Be realistic about what to expect first time in your life that you have ed, in your course or the local area. ADVICE SERVICE and may help you to feel less home- from your time at university – there spent a substantial amount of time ● heavy workload sick. To find out more about student will obviously be good and bad away from your home, friends and ● a feeling of anticlimax – perhaps activities, please contact casa@ic. times. family. If this is the case, you may coming to university wasn’t as good ac.uk. If you still feel down and upset well be loving the freedom that com- an experience as you thought. Try to establish a routine during even after trying to resolve these ing to university gives you, however If you are feeling like this, there your time here – the more time you issues then you should seek help some of you might be feeling the are ways to get over it and there are spend doing things, the less time from a professional. The College total opposite. people out there who can help you. you spend thinking about home. provides a free counselling service You may be feeling lonely, finding It might help to talk things through Give yourself a bit of time to get and of course there is the Union it hard to settle in the local area with someone you trust – this could through it. Sometimes people make Advice Service which can also help. and just feeling generally unhappy. be a personal tutor, a friend, a coun- a rash decision to leave university If you would like further informa- If you are feeling like this, you may sellor, a chaplain, a member of your and then regret it afterwards. When tion or have any questions about well be homesick. family or a student adviser. I first went to college, I hated it, but homesickness or any other topic, There are many causes of home- Another way of combating home- I said that I would give it six weeks please contact the Imperial College sickness, including: sickness is to make a real effort to NIGEL COOKE and ended up having the best years Union Advice Service on 020 7594 ● the distance away from home join societies and activities. This is UNION ADVISER of my life so far. 8067 or [email protected]. Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 7

COMMENT [email protected] Where? dBs Oct 13 Letters to When? 8pm > 1am How Much? Imperial £3.00 the Editor Ents Pass £2.50 JCR food continued to cling to the cob despite Guests £3.50 being boiled into a mushy pulp, and Dear Dave, a slice of lemon that some genius had chucked on top of each “shanty” Might I suggest that the people before putting the whole lot in the who devise menus for the JCR at oven. lunchtime just take the next logical Alternatively, they could just step, and offer a menu with only two sub-contract everything out to the items: bits of chicken whose sole Sandwich Shoppe on Gloucester evolutionary purpose is to become Road (or maybe employ people who “chicken nuggets”, and “overcooked know how to cook). stuff”. In case you’re wondering about the Yours, second item on my proposed menu, it’s simply a description of today’s Etienne Pollard JCR offering – broccoli with a hint of salmon gills (cunningly adver- PS To be fair to the counter staff, tised as “Salmon Shanty”), a side they did offer me an apple when I offering of sweetcorn that somehow complained. Flirty current chart Send your letters to [email protected]. music and party This is the page where you can classics

make your voice heard on just about Imperial College Union, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB any topic. Letters may be edited for £1 vodka shot + mixer length, and are printed at the Editor’s While stocks last discretion. The Union encourages you to drink responsibly Felix 8 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

Careers [email protected] Let the journey begin have a multitude of relevant take, that’s even more reason nomenon occurring in the to develop them, and see the development. To ensure you skills, with evidence to prove for getting involved and dis- mid-twenties, termed the relevance of these skills in dif- are able to tackle the transi- it. When, in your final year, covering what’s out there. ‘quarterlife crisis’. It’s a ferent working environments. tion and find a promising job, the panic of being cast out We’re the first to admit to general depression that hits How to promote yourself and make the most of your uni- into the real world begins whiling away our undergrad- graduates who are suddenly your abilities and manage versity life, the resources and to set in, the Freshers Fair uate years in various London faced with the difficulties of your university time effec- the people. Imperial has an suddenly becomes a must. watering holes, blissfully una- building a life for themselves tively will also be discussed, excellent careers department GABRIELLA SILVESTRI & Joining Dance or Debating ware of the harsh realities in a world where good jobs along with links to the best where you can arrange one- at this late stage may help and competitiveness of the are hard to come by and adult resources and information to-one talks with experienced CASSANDRA ALDRICH to show you’re a more ‘well- world awaiting us. Therefore, life seems rather stressful about work experience and advisors, and provides a vast CAREERS EDITORS rounded’ person but it prob- perhaps it isn’t surprising to and mundane with all its tedi- upcoming events. choice of clubs, societies and ably won’t be enough to get hear that we are still students ous responsibilities. Perhaps at the start of your student activities. Your immediate inclination you the job you have been – PhD students, with another The Felix Careers section degree you had an idea about Please feel free to contact may be to skip the Careers dreaming about (that is, if three years of shelter under therefore aims to help and what you hoped to achieve. us with your comments on section, especially if you’re you’re lucky enough to know the umbrella that is univer- encourage students to make During your studies it’s use- this section, any thoughts or a fresher or in the middle of what you want to do). sity (actually, a PhD can be a a successful transition from ful to revisit those objectives, questions, or if you would like your studies – after all, there’s Developing a repertoire very difficult undertaking that their degree studies, be they to assess the progress you’re a particular topic to be cov- plenty of time to worry about of skills and a glowing CV may postpone ‘decision time’ undergraduate or postgradu- making and also add to them. ered. We’re happy to include your post-university career, are your keys to a successful but brings numerous other ate, to their career paths. By Even if you are still not clear your feedback, so if you want right? Wrong. future and it’s important to stresses. However, that’s providing advice and informa- about what you want to do to write about your experi- Now, employers want the lot bear this in mind from the out- another story). tion, we hope to allow you to after you finish, it’s never ences on work placements or – a good degree just doesn’t set. Even if you have no idea Worryingly, psychologists identify some of the neces- too late to set goals for your anything else, let us know via cut it. They want to know you what career path you want to have identified a new phe- sary skills you will need, ways professional and personal [email protected]. Careers Planning your next move events and By Gabriella Silvestri According to research car- and Cassandra Aldrich ried out by the Association of Graduate Recruiters (AGR), useful links It makes sense to plan ahead, which predominantly repre- whether you want to take sents large blue chip firms TALK time out, go on to further and public sector employers, SUCCESSFUL INTERVIEWS study, find employment or there is intense competition Thursday 7 Oct, 1.00–1.50pm even if you have no idea what in the employer’s market. Clore Lecture Theatre, Huxley you’re going to do. You will Employers received an aver- Building find achieving your goals sat- age of 42.1 applications for Speaker: Ana-Viktoria Gale, isfying and more enjoyable every graduate vacancy dur- PricewaterhouseCoopers and ultimately be more suc- ing the past year, up from 37.2 cessful. Whichever route you in 2001-02. TALK choose to follow, you will need The mistake often made is WHAT IS MANAGEMENT relevant information to help to think that a degree from CONSULTANCY? you on your way. Imperial is sufficient to get Tuesday 12 Oct, 1.00–1.50pm Did you know that 87% of any job. Although your degree Clore Lecture Theatre, Huxley students agree that univer- is a mark of your intellec- Climbing the steps: planning your next move can help your career reach new heights Building sity is a good investment, tual ability and your potential, Speaker: Emma Killick, and people with a higher many employers will place Service Guide) are: Voluntary work, a well- the world is less impressive. McKinsey and Company education qualification are less importance on your sub- ● teamwork ability planned gap year and work Arranging work abroad, how- likely to earn on average 50% ject of study than the per- ● communication placements will help to ever, will look great. EXHIBITION more than those without? sonal skills and qualities you ● interpersonal skills strengthen your CV and NATIONAL GRADUATE However, although the gradu- possess. Continuous personal ● problem solving complement your academic RECRUITMENT EXHIBITION ate job market has grown and learning is becoming increas- ● planning and organising. abilities. If you are planning THE ‘MUST’ POINTS Friday 15 Oct, 11am–5pm become more diverse, recent ingly important as employers Joining a sports team is to take time out from your ● Evaluate your abilities Saturday 16 Oct, 11am–4pm studies have suggested that search for the very best can- often looked upon favourably studies you should organise ● Build a portfolio of skills Hall 3, Wembley, London graduates struggle to find didates. as evidence of teamwork abil- some useful work experience ● Set personal objectives More info: www.gradjobs.co.uk their ideal roles in today’s The five essential skills for ities, while joining a student or alternatively work first ● Go to your Careers Service recruitment market, which is employment (as given in the society may demonstrate to fund subsequent travels. ● Think about a career plan EVENT now less predictable. Imperial Careers Advisory interpersonal skills. Simply jet-setting around LONDON MEDIA CAREERS INFORMATION DAY Wednesday 20 Oct, 10.30am–4.30pm ExCeL Centre, Docklands Inside story: recruitment at Citigroup More info: www.mediacareers- day.co.uk By Cassandra Aldrich out’ process is conducted good academic record is very to the top of the pile if you’re then asked to take part in the by Human Resources (HR) important – without good fluent in other languages”. It exercises ‘on the floor’, you LINKS Over dinner with a good based on applicants’ CVs. If grades it tends to be more is, however, still possible to need to demonstrate an abil- friend of mine who works as your CV is picked out, you difficult. True to their litera- be recruited without a second ity to handle stress well and http://www.ic.ac.uk/careers a trader at Citigroup (and will be invited to a first inter- ture, Citigroup will potentially language. work efficiently with other also happens to be involved view with employees working recruit from any degree dis- If your CV is selected, people: “You won’t be suc- http://www.shell-livewire.org/ in selecting applicants – a pity in the department. If they like cipline: “I don’t look for an you’ll then be interviewed. cessful on the trading floor thebigtrip then that I’m not interested in you, you’ll be asked to spend a economics degree. What’s “At interview I’m thinking of unless you’re tough”. banking), I took the opportu- few days on the trading floor, important is that they’ve two things – firstly, do they If you still think you’re http://www.prospects.ac.uk/ nity to find out precisely what taking part in simulated and done their research and can understand the workings of suited, then the pluses are the company looks for when problem solving exercises have a conversation with the market, and secondly, numerous – great salary, http://www.newscientistjobs. recruiting. alongside other applicants. me about the markets”. The can we work with, and get potential mega bonuses, com/graduate/ The selection process for Get through all this and other main things HR look on with, this person?” The expense accounts, trips both internship and perma- there’s a final interview with for in a CV are previous work general gist was that you abroad (not just work but also http://www.doctorjob.com nent positions in the Trading more senior members of the experience in finance, which must know your stuff and be client entertainment), and and Sales Department usu- department. is evidence of a real desire friendly and confident. Don’t evenings and weekends free, ● The Careers section ally consists of a number of HR look for a number of to work in the industry, and be afraid to sell yourself and since obviously the markets will appear in Felix every stages. Firstly, a ‘filtering key things in a CV. Firstly a linguistic abilities: “You’ll go don’t appear ‘flaky’. If you are close. two weeks Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 9

What’s on [email protected] GIGS UNION EVENTS Fri to Thurs: 1.50pm, 4.15pm, THURSDAY PITCHSHIFTER + SIKTH MONDAY CHEEKY ALL WEEK 6.40pm, 9.00pm. Fri and Sat 7–11pm 8pm–1am only: 11.25pm. 7 OCTOBER Astoria 11 OCTOBER Beit Quad FILMS £13.50 £3 BRIDE AND PREJUDICE FILMS CLUBS AND SOCIETIES Probably your last chance to UNION EVENTS Flirty current chart music in Odeon Kensington MAN ON FIRE FELIX MUSIC MEETING see the excellent Pitchshifter. FAIRGROUND NIGHT dBs. Fri to Thurs: 12.55pm, 3.30pm, Odeon Kensington 6pm They decided to tour one last 7pm Contact: [email protected] 6.10pm, 8.50pm. Fri and Sat Fri to Thurs: 1.45pm, 5.00pm, Da Vinci’s bar, Beit Quad time before calling it a day. Reynolds Bar, Charing Cross only: 11.25pm. 8.10pm. Fri and Sat only: If you signed up at Freshers Hospital UNION EVENTS 11.10pm. Fair, or even if you didn’t, ARTS £5 SPORTS NIGHT FILMS come along to the first Felix THE PIANO TUNER by Think candy floss, think pop- 8pm COLLATERAL ARTS Music meeting of the year. NIGEL OSBOURNE: corn carts, think giant twister Reynolds Bar, Charing Cross Odeon Kensington BARBICAN GALLERY Meet your fellow reviewers WORLD PREMIERE and coconut shies. All the fun Hospital Fri to Thurs: 5.40pm, 8.20pm. Featured exhibitions are and get some free records to 7.45pm of the fair, for one night only! £3 Mon to Thurs: 12.20pm, Space of Encounter: The write about. Royal Opera House Contact: The first official sports night 3.00pm. Fri and Sat only: Architecture of Daniel Contact: [email protected] A new opera co-commis- [email protected] of the year. What better way 11.10pm. Libeskind; and Communicate: sioned by Music Theatre to celebrate victory or drown Independent Graphic Design UNION EVENTS Wales and the Royal Opera your sorrows in defeat? FILMS since the Sixties. RED HOT SALSA House. Contact: LAYER CAKE 7.30–11pm [email protected] Odeon Kensington ARTS dBs Club, Beit Quad UNION EVENTS TUESDAY Fri to Thurs: 1.25pm, 3.55pm, TATE BRITAIN FREE FASTER PUSSYCAT 6.25pm, 8.55pm. Fri and Sat Gwen John and Augustus Imperial Dance Club take FRESHER SHOWCASE 12 OCTOBER only: 11.20pm. John (see review, page over dBs for an evening of 8pm–2am THURSDAY 17); Michael Landy: semi- salsa. Try out some steps with Beit Quad UNION EVENTS FILMS detached; Art Now: David guidance from their profes- £8 STA TRAVEL QUIZ NIGHT 14 OCTOBER WIMBLEDON Thorpe; BP British Art sional teachers. There’s also The biggest event of Freshers 8–10.30pm Odeon Kensington Displays 1500-2004. food and drink with a Latin Week, with R’n’B, bashment Beit Quad VERY IMPORTANT Fri to Thurs: 1.20pm, 3.45pm, flavour. and hip-hop from cutting FREE FELIX PUBLISHED 6.10pm, 8.45pm. Fri and Sat ARTS Contact: [email protected] edge DJs including BBC The quiz is a bit of a tradition 10am onwards only: 11.15pm. TATE MODERN 1Xtra’s Skitz and Rodney P, at the Union, with cash and Pick up the next issue from Untitled: Mohamed Camara GIGS FabricLive’s Joe Ransom, beer prizes on offer. your department or the Union FILMS (from 2 October); Time Zones: THE PIPETTES Kiss FM’s Firin’ Squad and Contact: [email protected] building. HERO Recent Film and Video; Tate 8pm–2am Faster Pussycat resident Contact: [email protected] Odeon Kensington Modern Collection 2004. Rhythm Factory, Whitechapel Matt Carpenter. There’s also UNION EVENTS £4 students a casino in the gym, with PARAMOUNT COMEDY The white, indie version of blackjack and roulette. NIGHT the Three Degrees, backed Contact: [email protected] 8pm by members of Electric Soft Reynolds Bar, Charing Cross Parade and The Tenderfoot. Hospital It’s good, honestly. £4 SATURDAY This is a much-loved regu- lar event at the Medics’ bar, 9 OCTOBER featuring Paramount Comedy Channel comedians. ARTS Contact: FRIDAY THE PIANO TUNER by [email protected] VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! NIGEL OSBOURNE: 8 OCTOBER WORLD PREMIERE 7.45pm Why not get active in the community whilst you’re at Imperial UNION EVENTS Royal Opera House WEDNESDAY TOGA PARTY A new opera co-commis- College London? It doesn’t matter if you work or study in 7pm sioned by Music Theatre 13 OCTOBER Reynolds Bar, Charing Cross Wales and the Royal Opera Imperial – volunteering will have always something to offer Hospital House. GIGS £3 BLOC PARTY you! We have over 250 volunteering opportunities in our Strip those bed sheets and GIGS 7–11pm join the medics for some DJ HYPE, GROOVERIDER Camden Lock 17 database, so there should be a project for you. Roman nibbles and beverag- + OTHERS The oft-talked about Bloc es, and then boogie the night 9.45pm–6am Party play one of their larg- away. The Scala est gigs yet. Make up your Contact: A night of drum ‘n’ bass with own mind about their rigidly The easiest way to get regular updates about volunteering is [email protected] two of the finest DJs around. rhythmic art-rock. by signing up to our mailing list. You will receive all the latest opportunities on a weekly basis, directly to your email inbox. Running an event? Simply send us an email to [email protected], Want people to know? clearly stating that you want to receive the weekly news Tell us about it! bulletin and we will do the rest! Felix will print your listings free of charge. Just email [email protected] and tell us: Imperial Volunteer Centre • the name of the event • who is running it email phone check out volunteering 020 www. Imperial Volunteer Centre • the time @ 7594 imperial.ac.uk/ imperial.ac.uk 8141 volunteering South Kensington campus • the location Union Building Beit Quadrangle East Basement • the cost (if any) Linking opportunities • a brief description of the event Prince Consort Road • a contact email address IN PARTNERSHIP WITH IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION London SW7 2BB Felix 10 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

Clubs & Societies [email protected] Training, toffs and a tube driver

CROSS COUNTRY miles. AND ATHLETICS The trip was originally set for four team members, but was then invaded upon by out- By Jonathan Barron siders. One of the team was ageing student Gavin, reput- The Imperial College Union ed to be the oldest standing Cross Country and Athletics member of Imperial College Club descended on the run- Union. Gavin had also paid ning hotspot of Lanzarote for for his estranged son Wicksy its annual summer training to come along, in a shallow week. attempt to make up for the The island was selected lack of maintenance pay- for its tropical climate and ments over the years. Gavin arduous terrain produced justified this by pointing out by volcanic eruptions dur- that as long as he stayed at ing the eighteenth century. Imperial he would never have Conveniently, the eruptions to pay his student loan back died down several hundred to the government, and that years ago, to be replaced by there was therefore no rea- a large variety of bars and son why the same shouldn’t nightclubs across the island. apply to Wicksy and his moth- These proved essential in er. Gavin’s silent motive for ensuring that rapid rehydra- bringing Wicksy along was to tion was possible after all teach him the ways of the “Yes officer, it was number 91, I’m sure of it.” Members of the Cross Country and Athletics Club outside of police custody training sessions. world before he became too The tone of the week was old to perform. was keen to make his mark and groups. It was decided that trend, Jeff was forced to sleep cop bad cop’ routine on the set when team members set The second outsider was insisted that the group visited the most mutual benefit could alone. kebab shop owner had gone out for the first run at 2.30am, club captain turned tube driv- Lady Muck’s stand-up show. be attained by approaching The trip put considerable horribly wrong. Desperate to only 15 minutes after arriv- er Mike “Gobshite” Boucher, The team were shocked to the young ladies holidaying financial strain on several raise funds, Mike and Dave ing at the training base. The fresh from the last strike and discover that the lady in ques- on the island. The level of members, especially consid- headed to the local casino. focused attitude to training ready for action. In fact, he tion was in fact a man whom success was mixed, although ering the number and extent After only an hour they had continued throughout the was so keen to stand with Mike had previously worked certain team members hit of rehydration sessions need- lost a three figure sum, but week, with the first run of his brothers on the picket with. Upon arrival, we were particular stumbling blocks. ed throughout the week. This Mike shrugged it off claiming each day starting at 7.30am, line that he missed the flight escorted to the front row so The first to fall was toff team was exacerbated when the that he could easily get the just late enough to allow eve- and had to catch us up later. that we could get the most out captain Jon, finding that the money back with half a dozen ryone to return from the pre- Flights to Lanzarote were only of the show. Lady Muck took a socio-economic mix of ladies loops of the Circle Line. vious night’s activities. This available on Thursdays, so he particular shine to Gavin and on the island were somewhat “The police In summary, the training was followed up by an evening was forced to fly to Grand asked for his assistance many unresponsive to his “alleged- had to be should provide an excellent high intensity hills session. To Canaria, aiming to swim the times throughout the night. ly” extreme right wing views. base for the coming cross keep a balance, cross train- rest of the way. When this We were all surprised at how Jeff didn’t experience this compensated for country season. However, the ing methods were employed, plan failed, he was forced to untroubled Gavin was by the problem as he decided to dive unbalanced environment pro- with members engaging in strike a deal with some local high level of male bonding straight in with a more physi- releasing Jon vided within Imperial College swimming, cycling and circuit sailors, the details of which involved, but the mystery was cal approach. Several young and the London Underground training over the course of the he was unwilling to disclose. cleared up once he reminded ladies complained that these and Jeff from network left club members week. The distance record All that could be gathered is us how long he had been an approaches were too intru- completely unprepared for for the week was set by club that the deal incorporated the Imperial PhD student. sive, leading to Jeff’s removal their custody” the challenges provided stalwart Dave Mulvee, who infamous ‘sodom stick’. As always, the team was from a number of clubs. We by the women. Perhaps we completed a century of junk As soon as Mike arrived, he keen to forge links with other think the ladies in question police had to be compensat- should all have followed in should have been grateful ed for releasing Jon and Jeff Gavin’s footsteps and found that he was not carrying the from their custody. Although our own Lady Muck. sodom stick. As a last straw, the exact circumstances are If you would like to know he approached a middle-aged unclear, it is thought that they more about the Cross Keep on trucking lady who was walking home were involved in a fracas with County and Athletics Club with her two teenage chil- a local kebab owner over the (and haven’t been put off too dren. Despite multiple flat- amount of bread that should be much by this article), visit RSM MOTOR CLUB at the college since the 1960s contact Dan Lehmann on tering comments, she still included with a kebab. A local us online at www.union.ic.ac. and she has the advantage of [email protected] or visit www. chose to return to her hus- witness suggested that their uk/acc/crosscountry or email being fitted out with bench union.ic.ac.uk/clem. band. Following a common attempt to perform a ‘good [email protected]. By Dan Lehmann seats in the back, making her ideal for going on pub crawls Ever been trucking? Enjoy or trips around London. pub crawls? Want to learn to If you want to learn some drive a lorry? Well if you do basic mechanical skills, drink (or even if you don’t) then the cups of tea, but also enjoy Royal School of Mines Motor yourself socially then make Club could be for you. sure you join the RSM Motor The club is responsible for Club. Turn up at 1pm any the maintenance and running Wednesday at the garage in of a 1926 one tonne Morris Prince’s Gate Mews (behind alexfineart truck called Clementine, or Southside). Clem for short. Clem has been For more information, Clem: ideal for pub crawls exhibition

the blyth gallery YOUR CLUB HERE! level 5 sherfield building Do you want thousands of readers to know all about your club or society? Want to october 2004 attract new members? Want to tell the whole College what your society has been doing recently? Want everyone to know just how great your club is? Then send an article to [email protected], together www.shell.com/careers with a good quality photograph if possible Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 11

CLUBS & SOCIETIES [email protected] Television made easy Coming out, going out, making

STOIC er satellite channels, even tainment, music and film though we only broadcast reviews, live events, fashion out... whatever! Welcome to to the JCR and www.stoictv. shows and sports coverage. By David Balfour com. We encourage new ideas and STOIC Station Manager Whether your talents lie in perspectives, so feel free to Imperial College’s LGBT front of or behind the cameras, make suggestions for shows. Ever sat watching TV and there are plenty of opportuni- We mainly broadcast to the IMPERIAL QUEERS safe space meetings. All our all clubs and societies. In all thought, “I can do better than ties to get involved with our screens in the JCR but with a members have had to come fairness, “it does exactly what that”? If not, turn over to BBC vast range of programmes. revamped service emerging to terms with their sexual- is says on the tin” – we are Three. Presenters, producers, direc- we have our content available By Tom Lewis ity and we’ve all got a tale queer. However, this error STOIC (Student Television tors, editors, camera opera- on our website and are look- and Hugo Carr to tell. We fully understand has caused upset to some, Of Imperial College) is your tors, vision and sound mixers, ing to expand our network that, for some prospective as ‘queers’ can be seen as chance to get involved in the set designers, general techies during the course of the year. For those of you who are una- members, coming along for a quite an aggressive, homo- exciting world of television, and more are all needed to If you’ve read this far then ware, Imperial College has an party straight away may not phobic word. Needless to say, albeit on a budget somewhat keep the place functioning, you’re probably vaguely inter- LGBT society aptly named IQ be your cup of tea. If you have this error will not occur next smaller than that of the BBC. which also means we count ested in getting involved. The – Imperial Queers! any issues with your sexual- year and we apologise for the Despite that, we have an a great variety of people first step is to attend one of Whether you’re gay, les- ity, we really are here to lend mistake. impressive studio complex amongst our members. our free workshops at our bian, bisexual, transgen- a helping hand. You can con- Right, serious bit over, now that we are reliably informed In the past few years we’ve studios. You’ll get to try out dered or questioning your tact IQ through the website for the fun part! IQ have organ- would rival some of the small- produced news, light enter- a few of the jobs listed above sexuality, you’re welcome to (http://union.ic.ac.uk/iq), and ised the first LGBT party at to see where your talents or get involved with the LGBT. a committee member can be Imperial this term. ‘Fetch’ interests lie. We will teach you The aim of our society is to assigned to contact you via will be held in dBs on Monday everything you need to know. allow LGBT students to come email, then, on your terms, 18 October from 7–11pm, with This year, we are running two together in a safe environ- meet in person. a trip to Heaven (London’s workshops, on Wednesday ment, where we can have a You may have noticed that premier gay nightclub) after- 13 October from 1pm and chat, a drink, a party, a day in this year’s Union handbook wards, where everyone who on Sunday 17 October from trip, a pub crawl – whatever we were listed as ‘Queers’ attends the party will be on 1.30pm. our members want really! instead of ‘Imperial Queers’. the guest list! Everyone is STOIC can be found in the In previous years, IQ has This was caused by the policy welcome to come along – just West Wing of Beit Quad. Once organised trips to Brighton, of the editor to omit the prefix bring your dancing shoes and you’re through the archway, Manchester and Paris. There ‘Imperial’ from the names of an open attitude. turn left and swipe through are university LGBT socials the door marked “West Wing”. practically every week, plus Go down the stairs, turn right the annual special events through the doors and we are such as World Aids Day and the first on the left. the Christmas dinner. This To find out more about year, we’ve got a boat trip STOIC, you can visit our planned with UCL and Kings, website at www.stoictv.com a salsa workshop and a self- (where you will currently find defence course to name just a selection of programme a few of our events. Our aim highlights), email us at is to show that there is more Rainbow [email protected] or drop into to being gay than going to flying high: our office. There is someone G*A*Y. the gay pride in most lunchtimes. We’d be Aside from the social flag outside On screen: inside the STOIC studios happy to hear from you. aspect of IQ, we also offer Big Ben

Oct 15Oct 15 8pm > 2am

come commando Imperial College Union, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB Or come with no pants! Theme Party £1 carlsberg Imperial £3.00 While stocks last Ents Pass £2.50 The Union encourages you to drink responsibly Guests £3.50 Felix 12 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

Music [email protected] The MOBO Awards 2004 Accusations of homophobia, racism, and American stars that didn’t show up – Felix reports from beside the red carpet

to take his place. Others who had America’s long running queen of INTERVIEWS been scheduled to appear but RnB. “I saw her doing rehearsals didn’t show up included Beyoncé, earlier and she was… hot.” Estelle The MOBO Awards Christina Milian, Usher and man also mentioned her new single Free, Royal Albert Hall of the moment Kanye West, who which is out this week and fea- 30 September received a record seven nomina- tures previous MOBO winner Miss tions this year. Dynamite in the video. This year’s Music Of Black Origin Somehow on the night I managed A relative newcomer to the (MOBO) Awards had been rife with to get into the press area, loaded British-Asian music scene, Raghav problems from the outset. The gay with recording equipment for IC was up for Best Collaboration, with rights group OutRage accused the Radio, standing right beside the red 2Play for the chart-topping single So organisers of supporting homopho- carpet awaiting the stars’ arrival. Confused against the likes of Brandy bic artists Elephant Man and Vybz Eventually they did turn up to the featuring Kanye West, Usher fea- Kartel. The two Jamaican reggae Awards, despite all of the above set turing Lil John & Ludacris, Twista stars were later dropped from the backs. Among those who came were featuring Kanye West & Jamie Foxx nominations, partly due to their lyr- Olympic champion Kelly Holmes, and Marques Houston featuring ics inciting homophobia, but mainly Caroline Chikezie (who plays Sasha Joe Budden & Pied Piper. Raghav because of their refusal to apologise in T4’s As If), Lulu, Myleen Klass, seemed very enthused about being for them. This, however, upset the Fearne Cotton and Reggie from Top at the award ceremony but was not Black Music Council, who protested of the Pops and, of course, Tara confident about winning: “I don’t on the night, waving banners in the Palmer-Tompkinson as well as a know. All the other guys are much air reading “Defend Reggae Music” whole host of minor celebrities who more well-known and easier to say and “Enraged by OutRage!”. They I and many of the other press peo- than me.” But against all the odds, also booed celebrities and inces- ple failed to recognise. I managed he did win the award. Raghav also santly chanted to the beat of the to chat to a few of the nominated told me that he’s currently work- bongos. This didn’t seem to dampen artists. ing hard on promoting his current “Who’s this guy?” Pharrell Williams (left) with Jamie Cullum the spirits of the stars, though. First up was Estelle, London’s album Storyteller, which came out The other major upset at the feisty new queen of hip-hop. She’d early last month, and that the next When asked about all the big names UnSung award in 2001 under the awards was the number of American already grabbed the urban scene’s single to be taken from it is a “really that dropped out, he defended his guise of N’Jay. The UnSung com- urban artists who dropped out from attention with 1980 in July and was a lovely track”. fellow Americans, stating that these petition tries to find and recognise appearing. Most notably among hotly tipped favourite to win the Best Also at the awards, nominated things happen all the time at award new urban talent in the UK by these was Pharrell Williams, from British Newcomer award, which she in the Best Jazz category, was ceremonies due to scheduling and touring the country. Nina has now N*E*R*D and The Neptunes, later scooped that night. I asked pint-sized Jamie Cullum. I asked busy workloads. This was also the signed to BMG and was very much who had been down to host the her who she was most looking for- him if he had considered filling in opinion of Lemar, who was up for looking forward to her debut album awards. Rap artist and actor Mos ward to see perform, to which she Pharrell’s shoes to host the awards, two awards but sadly didn’t receive getting released. Another new artist Def stepped in at the last minute promptly replied “Mary J Blige”, since he’d covered Pharrell’s only any. He was keen to mention his I spoke to at the awards was Rhian solo single Frontin’. Jamie jokingly new single and album, both of which Benson, whose debut single Say replied: “No man can fill his shoes… are coming out in November. How I Feel is out this week. Rhian’s not me. He’s a size nine.” Jamie Not all the artists who came along music is inspired by soul, reggae, also let slip that he was “really to the MOBO Awards were nominat- early Stevie Wonder and her roots in hungry. I haven’t eaten anything, so ed. I spoke to Rishi Rich, a British Ghana. She was extremely excited I’ll be looking to eat and drink a lot producer who has worked with the at being at her first MOBO awards. tonight”. On that note I wished him likes of Britney Spears, Craig David, The star of the night, though, was good luck. Later in the evening, he Mary J Blige and Liberty X as well as Jamelia. As soon as she arrived, picked up the award for Best Jazz, being part of the Rishi Rich Project, Brandy rushed over to her and defeating the likes of Norah Jones who brought us Eyes On You this they started joking with each other. and Amy Winehouse. summer and features rapper Jay Jamelia won all three of the awards Flying the flag for the US were Sean. Rishi talked to me about his she was nominated for, sharing UK Brandy and Janet Jackson. Janet upcoming album as well as working Act of the Year award with Dizzee didn’t do any interviews but later on Jay Sean’s album, both of which Rascal. This year has been particu- presented Anita Baker with her he’s looking forward to. In response larly successful for the 23-year-old, lifetime achievement award. Mario to many of the American artists not following her comeback to the music Winans also showed up, though he showing up, he said: “Yeah, I think industry after putting her career on was unaware that I Don’t Wanna that could help some of our British hold for her daughter Teja, now Know had been nominated for artists get exposure tonight.” three. Jamelia’s next single to be Best Ringtone, which he later won. Quite a few British breakthrough taken from her muti-platinum sell- Neither did he know how successful artists were hoping for that as well. ing album Thank You is a track that single was over here. “People These included Nina Jayne, who called DJ, out on 1 November. Mary J Blige: the undisputed queen of R’n’B should tell me these things,” he said. had previously won the MOBO Martin Archer Metal-loving hamsters on drugs

ylphenidate. Add to the equation a electronica. In my experience But catchy melodies played on game- cling to their sanity by trying not to ALBUM REVIEW Nintendo, several Casio keyboards If What He’ll What Ant has one of console sounding keyboards, with listen). and an (un)healthy dose of helium. two effects on the listener. The first an abundance of Simpsons sam- But If What He’ll What Ant comes Especially Likely Sloth Take away any sanity that may have (which I fall victim to) is to sit, grin ples and extremely high-pitched highly recommended to fans of truly But If What He’ll What Ant prevailed, record the result and then manically, and start doing every- vocals. Some more organic-sound- off-kilter music, but is perhaps one (Vendlus Records) play back at double speed. Got that? thing at twice the speed while try- ing strings fit surprisingly well, as to avoid for less adventurous listen- HHHII Well, you’re still nowhere near ing to squeak along. The friends I do their disharmonies. Occasional ers. Oh, and it’s also more addictive Especially Likely Sloth, yet that is the played it to, however, threatened to calypso-sounding sections help cre- – I would imagine – than metham- Imagine for a moment, if you will, a best I can do to describe the group’s scratch off their ears if I didn’t turn ate an even more mind-expanding phetamine, benzphetamine, phen- hamster on a cocktail of metham- sound. This is a project of Jason it off, calling it disturbing, scary and listen, and tinny drums complete the termine, fenfluramine, mazindol, phetamine, benzphetamine, phen- William Walton, otherwise known for generally too weird. experience. Crystal clear produc- ketamine, phendimetrazine, crack termine, fenfluramine, mazindol, his work with folk/extreme metal As such, this release is very tion makes every bizarre note and cocaine, methcathinone and methyl- ketamine, phendimetrazine, crack bands Agalloch and Sculptured. The much an acquired taste. The nuance of the music unavoidable phenidate put together. cocaine, methcathinone and meth- music, however, is truly deranged music revolves around insanely (for those still naively attempting to Russell Garwood Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 13

MUSIC [email protected] The worst Reading ever? A suspiciously similar line-up to last year, excessive amounts of rain not seen since Glastonbury, and several serious bottlings

truly inspiring moments. However, LIVE REVIEW throwing in a flaming guitar and Har Mar Superstar shaking his size- Carling Reading Festival able bootie certainly livened things A field, near Reading up – as Tim Wheeler so aptly put it, HHIII “dance motherf**ker, dance!” As ever, The Offspring proved Thirteen hours of solid rain, two themselves incapable of disappoint- boys relieving themselves on my ing. Their set was clearly tailored to tent and a maniac playing his drum more hardy fans, including a good kit in the camp site until four in the smattering from Smash, a fairly Flying home: bottles making their summer migration from the muddy fields of Reading morning. And that was before a sin- uncommercial selection from later gle band had hit the stage. Cue: ‘The albums and the thankful exclusion ered Take Another Little Piece Of enough at Reading. Consequently, Worst Reading Festival Ever.’ of The Worst Hangover Ever, a steel My Heart. It was an adequate kick- this year MC Mike Skinner was drum extravaganza that may well off to ‘Festival of Discomfort’ Day forced to lead a somewhat baffled Masters Friday have been penned by a fifteen-year- Two. crowd: “See, we can mix dance old fan. Front man Dexter Holland The Mercury Prize winning Franz and rock if you jump on the spot I can think of no better band to coax was charismatic as ever, providing Ferdinand live experience was a like this!” he coaxed – and to some of breezy, me out of my mud-induced strop the front row with popcorn in case smooth and polished affair, to the effect. With a good mix of the old and than Jurassic 5. Refreshingly un- they were hungry, and splashing out point where, upon closing my eyes, the new, and reserving the finger- gangster, this bouncy, melodic, old on the more confetti than you can I almost believed I was back in my shaking classic Don’t Mug Yourself southern school hip hop act amused the soggy shake a stick at. bedroom in pyjamas rather than for the end, I think on this occasion crowd with hand clapping games In the style of a ‘Time Life, can’t muddy jeans. I was glad to hear the they pulled it off. and solos on toys from the Early buy this in the shops, best rock extended version of Take Me Out, Placebo may be regarded as fes- Californian Learning Centre. The mental age dross in the world ever volume 10’ and with cute explanations as to the tival fodder but it certainly does of the crowd was well anticipated effort, The Darkness were awful. meaning of each track, I watched bring out the best in them. Sporting then. In contrast, Hole wannabes Like a showcase for Indulgent- with a smile on my face and a mod- a new, less glam look, Brian Molko pop return The Distillers (like the dull, arduous Guitar-Solos-R-Us but sadly lacking erate boogie in my hips. was at once a childlike and alluring task of the same name) sounded so in any kind of imaginative spandex Watching Morrissey is simply front man. The set itself was per- unvaried that their set may as well on the part of Justin ‘I don’t act like magic. This man, his band, and the fectly conceived and full of forgot- ALBUM REVIEW have comprised of one thirty minute a dick, I just am a dick’ Hawkins, ten foot letters spelling his name ten favourites including the under- track. It’s a shame Brody Dahl’s 50% of their hits were over within sparkle. As the sun set, Morrissey stated Scared Of Girls. Heartfelt, The Thrills complicated soap-style love life is the first two songs. I’m not sure that provided a relaxed, melodic, and moody, beautifully performed and Let’s Bottle Bohemia the most interesting thing the band one gimmicky album, a sad failure charming selection of songs. He crowned with the lately neglected (Virgin Records) have going for them. at a Christmas number one and talked of his dislike for Radio One Nancy Boy, this was Placebo in HHHHI Slightly more engaging were The lacklustre fireworks should consti- and small British towns that issue their full glory. Hives. In three words: same as ever, tute a headline act. illicit speeding tickets, but even this If the Reading Festival was a foot- It’s very easy to review an album but since they consistently provide was done in a soothing and persua- ball game, 50 Cent would be man that’s really good. It’s even easier an energetic onslaught of tunes and Saturday sive manner. Recent single First Of of the match. Hours in advance to review an album that’s crap, as good humour, I couldn’t complain. The Gang To Die was the festival of his performance, skinny, smug, you can just focus on all the things Thank you, or should I say you’re Following an extended and incoher- high point, with the whole crowd straggly haired adolescents with that are shite. But to write about an welcome? Which is more than I will ent poetry session, the New York singing their lungs out. 55,000 peo- toggled combats had been collect- album which isn’t amazing and isn’t say to Ash’s shameless omission of Dolls treated us to an inoffensive if ple can’t be wrong. ing... bottles. Sidekick G Unit had crap but somewhere in between is flagship tracks Goldfinger and Oh unstirring set of slightly mellowed In the past year, The White Stripes barely hit the stage when the sky harder. Let’s Bottle Bohemia, the Yeah, making for a set devoid of any punk, including the delicately cov- haven’t released a new album, had was filled like a sea of plastic, yet second album by The Thrills, is just a number one single or toured the what’s this? 50 Cent hurling bottles such an album. They’ve chosen not world. So how did they manage to straight back, except his are still to change the winning formula of move up the bill from the penulti- full! Brilliant! Drama still continuing So Much For The City and if you mate slot they occupied (and pulled and the Cent-meister still grinning, didn’t like that one, you won’t like out of) last year? Scraping the bot- the few fans present were treated to this either. tom of the band barrel methinks? a selection of hits before someone I can easily imagine people whing- I enjoy The White Stripes in a CD threw a chair at the stage. As it ing about it being “samey”, because capacity. Their sound is unique and turned out, this was the straw that it is, but that’s not necessarily a bad they are undoubtedly clever musi- broke the camel’s back. thing. It’s not the best album of the cians. However the lack of band- If every American was a fan of year, I won’t have nightmares about members, means their live per- punk rock music, Bush would have the disc being scratched, but I may formance will always be limited. In been overthrown long ago in some well cause dogs to howl in pain by a set a little too concerned with sort of spiky, tartan trouser-based singing along to the lyrics. In a cou- self-important solos, their real gems coup. Tonight, Green Day were fly- ple of years’ time I’ll still be playing were drowned out with the excep- ing the flag for the Anti-Dubya con- it and that’s what it’s all about. It’s tion of Jolene, but then they didn’t sortium, riding on the back of new a good album, with good songs, and write that anyway. album American Idiot. It had all the strong lyrics. Whatever Happened ingredients of a classic Green Day to Corey Haim will happily stick in Sunday gig: an impromptu band formation your mind along with most of the with ironic drummer Marc ‘the Kid’ other tracks. Maybe the bottling of The Rasmus Orrell (guitarist with the Dropkick The Beach Boy cheeriness of So was the crowd’s effort to accelerate Murphys) and some kid called Much For The City has taken a the coming of the Dropkick Murphys. Barney-as-in-the-dino on guitar, a backseat to some excellent Coldplay- With the emphasis on good old fash- predictably silly costume to accom- esque melancholy, most notably in ioned DM stomping Irish punk fun, pany King For A Day, and an evenly Not For All The Love In The World. the Boston boys certainly brought mixed array of songs to represent There’s even a bit of soul searching their share of diverse instruments, their back catalogue. A meaning- about the ups and downs of fame guest vocalists, heartfelt dedica- ful but not overbearing outing from in You Can’t Fool Old Friends With tions, band members crowd surfing, a band that rightly deserved the Limousines. In essence, it sounds and honeys from the audience danc- accolade of ending the festival. In just like The Thrills always have ing on stage. Energetic, traditional, a weekend of The Darkness, Green – if you like them, you’ll love this and certainly well liked. Day were truly a beacon of light. record. Festivals: bringing them all out The Streets are never on quite late Giulia Clark Olle Akesson Felix 14 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

Nightlife [email protected] Clubbing All Night Long

at The End since the summer, their This is DJing with none of the bulls- CLUB REVIEW last event being the All Night Long hit – they don’t rely on popular, big boat party – a club night on the records to build the crowd, instead ‘As One’ presents All Night Thames! showing off their prowess by show- Long Entering via the attached AKA casing the hottest new tunes along The End, West Central Street bar, where Sancho Panza were with their proven classics. The first Saturday of each month already rocking with a selection of It’s easy to tell when a DJ is good £12–£15 dirty disco house, I descended into – just check out the crowd. Looking HHHHI the club to find, as you’d expect, around The End, you realise just the place already heaving with rev- how good Layo and Bushwacka Layo & Bushwacka (aka Layo ellers. Describing the people you are, as people are strutting their Paskin and Matt ‘Bushwacka’ B) find here is tricky, as there’s always stuff all over. Admittedly you might are a formidable duo on the club quite a variety, but mostly everyone find the dancing here slightly more scene. They’ve both been involved is clued up, sexy and stylish. Moving restrained and conservative than since the early days, and as a pro- straight onto the dancefloor, I found at other places around the city, but duction duo since the mid-nineties. everyone here knows how to give Layo is co-founder of The End with it some. Mr C, and the pair met through him, “It’s easy to tell Happy, dancing people means so this place is like their home. when a DJ is good friendly people – there’s no atti- The monthly residency, All Night tude here, and you’re quite likely to Long (also the name of a brilliant – just check out strike up conversations with total double mix CD by the pair), is one strangers just because you bumped Layo & Bushwacka: DJing with none of the bullshit of the finest nights out in town and the crowd” into each other on the dancefloor. has a firm following. This really Spend some time chatting and you’ll lot more is decor. The End is up with a bit odd, but I can tell you that it isn’t surprising when you consider the music to be much the same. find all kinds of people from all the best in this respect too. The ceil- worked a treat, bringing the dance- the club’s reputation, plus the fact Layo & Bushwacka play all sorts walks of life. ings are draped with thin webbing floor to a standstill and prompting that tonight both the lounge and the of music, under the banner of house. With the music captivating me, to pick up the impressive lightshow, everyone to sing along. main room are as one, filled with the To the point and funky, their style and being egged on by the up-for-it creating a stylish blend of reds and Overall, All Night Long was as sounds of Layo & Bushwacka for is always tight and crisp. Taking crowd, the dancefloor was where I purples, a chic which suits the cli- good as it always is – down to earth, eight hours straight, right through in breakbeat tracks as well as 4x4 stayed for most of the night. When entele. One of the high points of the like-minded people, and down to the night. To add to the fun, this stuff, their mixes move through dif- you spend a lot of time on dance- night was an inspired mix of Minnie earth, solid, funky music. was the first time they’d been back ferent vibes confidently and proudly. floors, one of the things you notice a Riperton’s Loving You. It may seem Simon Clark Relive the days of rave. In a tunnel, under London Bridge

given a new foot-friendly surface. RAVE REVIEW Approaching the venue, it was clear that this was going to be a Raindance 15th Birthday sell-out. Luckily we acquired tickets seOne, Weston Street beforehand – a lot of people were HHHHI turned away at the door – though we still had to queue for quite a while The history of dance music in the to pick our tickets up, then again UK is long, dating back to the mid- to get in, and once more for the eighties when electronic instru- cloakroom. By 1am we were ready ments and the new-found desire to to explore and made our way around dance until dawn combined, result- the arches. ing in one of the most creative and With the history that goes with exciting times in British music. Raindance, so the music policy cov- Raindance has been around ers the past 15 years of dance music. almost as long as dance music itself The Jenkins Lane (where the first – it was the first fully licensed all Raindance was held) Reunion arch night event in the UK, at a time plays host to the oldest and slowest when illegal raves were the place to music. This is house in its embry- be, and club culture as we know it onic form – sparse synthesisers didn’t exist. and drum machines with sampled Now, 15 years on, Raindance is still drum breaks and stolen vocals. Just going strong, holding four events because it’s old and relatively slow Dancing in the rain: graffiti or the Raindance logo? per year. These usually take place in when compared to modern dance London, and recently Raindance has music doesn’t mean it’s not good. Next, on to the third arch: Jungle its intensity and energy. Needless to ‘75% MC free’. Personally I do enjoy found it’s home at seOne. Previously This kind of music always has pas- and Drum & Bass. A lot of drum & say, the Hardcore Arch was by far some MCing, but sometimes, and known as SE1, and before that The sion and sounds great: chunky bass events around London come the hottest and sweatiest, and the with less vocally dextrous artists, it Drome, seOne is situated in the basslines, resonating piano melo- with a whole lot of attitude includ- crowd here were moving a lot more can become slightly annoying. Not tunnels underneath London Bridge dies and jingling, perpetual percus- ed, but just because the music is than in any of the other arches. here, though – everyone I heard on Station. This makes for a fantastic sion. dark and ominous doesn’t mean the As the night rolled on, I hardly the mic had enough skill to rouse the venue with a genuine underground Moving on, we found that the crowd have to be. At Raindance, the noticed the time passing. Legendary crowd without spoiling the tunes. feel. Each room (or ‘arch’) is made next (and the biggest) arch was Jungle and D&B room proved this – DJ Kevin Energy (part of the Nu- With much bouncing in and by dividing the brick tunnels, giving the main Old Skool arch. Here, the happy people, moving like mad and NRG producer collective/record between the arches, the rest of the the place a sense of closeness and music is taken from the next point making all the noise they can with label) absolutely destroyed the night passed with the usual profu- intimacy, whilst making it very easy in dance’s evolution. This is faster their mouths, horns and whistles. Hardcore arch, with his freeform sion of random exchanges with even to get lost and discover a room you and harder than before. The beats The fourth and final arch was style encompassing happy hardcore, more random people (you tend to haven’t been into yet at 4am. seOne are more pounding, the sounds and the fastest and most extreme: the jungle, drum and bass, gabba and meet some very interesting ones is not a small place, however, with a samples crazier, and the breaks Hardcore arch. This is really quite anything hard, energetic and fast. at events like these), 8am rolled capacity of around 3000 (the same more euphoric. The emphasis with insane music – think of the standard When I say destroy, I really mean around soon enough, and I was left as superclub Fabric). Some people this kind of music is on making cheesy dance crap you hear on the it – people were hugging speakers, wanting more. The afterparty, in yet used to complain that The Drome people dance fast and hard, then radio, then speed it up by half as screaming, and moving so fast that more arches, continued until 1pm. was no more than an “overpriced scream and reach for the lasers much again. Relentless rhythms at the sweat was literally flying. Simon Clark squat”, but the current manage- in the breakdowns. No matter how breakneck speed, squeaky vocals, All the arches at Raindance have ment have done a lot to improve the old it is, this kind of hardcore still sparkling pianos and twisted MCs. Whether this is a good or bad ● Keep your eyes on the listings place – the walls are painted and sounds fresh, original and banging basslines all come together to make thing is a question of taste; the main section for details of the next Rain- the bare concrete floors have been to the objective ear. a wall of sound that is unmatched in Old Skool arch was advertised as dance event. Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 15

NIGHTLIFE [email protected] Knowwhere Indie by invitation (not here!) Buttoned Down Disco is a soon-to-be-legendary invite only indie club. CLUB REVIEW Knowwhere Catch it while you can... The Fridge, Town Hall Parade, Brixton £10–£16 CLUB REVIEW at the seriously crowded bar, chat Upstairs is the main dance floor, ping out to get a bit of fresh air for HHIII while they’re waiting for the toilets, where there’s not an inch of space ten minutes – I walked around the and offer you a cigarette if they’re that’s not covered by bodies. We were block and came back, and they let The Fridge is a venue famed for its Buttoned Down Disco about to smoke one. It’s so refresh- just standing by the bar, when the DJ me straight back in without any has- nights of dance music on the hard- Infinity, Old Burlington Street ing to be in an indie club where mixed the Chemical Brothers’ Hey sle. er side, and found (as most places £4/free with email flyer there are no drunken idiots leching Boy, Hey Girl into whatever electro I’d only been once before tonight, offering this kind of music are) away HHHHH at girls, and no fighting at all. track had preceded it, and the place and that was about six months ago. from central London, and south of The tracklisting is a little eclectic went wild. The meaty, bass-heavy That was easily one of the best the river. Buttoned Down Disco is a new con- for most – I’d be surprised if I heard soundsystem is pointed right at the nights I’ve ever had, and this time The kind of music you can expect cept in indie clubs – invitation only. the stuff the mainstream indie clubs dancefloor and is one of the best I’ve it was almost as good. As far as to hear is hard house/trance and The plan is to keep the general popu- are playing: the Strokes, Razorlight heard. indie clubs go, this one is a league the like. Music like this has taken lation out, and the music lovers in. etc. It’s been overdone by the thou- Downstairs, the atmosphere is apart. The invitation-only idea keeps off enormously over the past few Once a month, you’re emailed the sands of clubs that have sprung up much more chilled. I spent an hour the same people coming back, the years, with more and more huge location and you have to show up around Tottenham Court Road over down there, and heard mostly down- music is diverse and eclectic, and (and messy) events like Hard House with a copy of the email in your hot the last couple of years. Instead, beat reggae, soul and the occasional the atmosphere is incredibly friend- Academy – at Brixton’s 4000-capac- little hands. you get tracks that veer wildly from bit of house. The volume is lower, so ly. I almost don’t want to spread the ity Carling Academy – appearing. Infinity, the venue for this month’s eighties electro classics to nine- it’s easy to talk and wander around word, because it’s so great already, While the harder forms of music BDD, is a tiny two floor place. ties dance to noughties punk, and random people. but you really need to try this place have increased in popularity stead- Roughly 250 people are crammed everywhere in between. Examples Because the atmosphere is so if you’re tired of the Mean Fiddler, ily recently, others have declined. into what is a low-ceilinged sweatbox include Gary Numan’s Cars, The much friendlier, the door staff are the Metro, and all the other copycat Without going too deeply into genre of a club. The first thing you notice on Velvet Underground’s I’m Waiting less rough and more accommodat- venues running the same kind of politics, I think it’s fair to say that entering the place is how friendly the For My Man and Beyonce’s Crazy ing. The heat is fairly intense, and indie nights. trance is one of those on the way people are. They make space for you In Love. there was no problem with me nip- Andrew Sykes down, not just in the quality of the music being produced, but also those playing it, and its reception by the public and the media (Fabric’s music policy specifically states ‘no Join the club trance’). I found the smaller house room at Knowwhere quite pleasant – up Why you really should give London clubbing a try... front, up to date music, and the floor was reasonably full, if not packed from members of the opposite sex. on is to start going out. When you bump into someone, or they bump out. Sadly I didn’t enjoy the main Either way, choose an event that leave a club, you’ll be accosted by into you, they’ll turn and apologise. room half as much. Playing mostly suits your taste, and you will not be people handing out flyers, usually It’s very easy to start conversations, trance, the DJs didn’t seem to have disappointed by the music. in big bundles, for upcoming events and once you’ve started it can be all half the talent of those in the other Also refreshing is the general lack in town, with the type of club you’re too easy to tell absolute strangers room. of dress codes at clubs across the leaving directly related to the flyers your whole life story. The difficulty with trance music city. Some places insist on silly rules you receive. As well as that, you can Clubbing gives you an opportu- is that it’s dense and layered, and like forcing you to wear shoes (not keep up to date with the features, nity to make friends like no other. to mix it well requires an ear for great for dancing in) or not allow- reviews and listings found in Felix. My closest friends have generally music as well as just a beat. Many ing jeans, but in London you’ll very The web is also a fantastic source of been my clubbing friends, and this times tonight, I was left wondering rarely find this a problem. information – all the big clubs have is partly because you spend so much how the DJs were getting away with In terms of the different styles of their own sites. time together. Six to eight hours it, as the mixing tended to slow me SIMON CLARK music on offer, you can more or less The key to finding clubs you like inside a club, plus a couple before down more than gee me up. NIGHTLIFE EDITOR take your pick. The secret is knowing is experimentation. You have to give and after, is probably more than you Appearing tonight for a special where to look. The club scene really things a try, and with the world’s spend with your mates on a normal live PA was hard trance producer Hello and welcome to the second covers everything, with indie clubs as best night out possibly ahead of you, night out. You also develop great K90. No stranger to The Fridge, and of this year’s Nightlife sections. My well as the usual offerings of hip-hop, who can resist? trust – when you’re looking after one reknowned in hard dance circles, aim over the coming year is to equip R&B and soul, right through house One of my favourite things about another on mad little missions round his squealing synth riffs took over you with as much knowledge of the (in all its forms), garage, breakbeat, clubbing is the afterparties. Dancing the city, it comes pretty quickly. the place, and for the first time that London club scene as possible, and trance, drum and bass, jungle, and through until six, seven or eight So there you go – all the reasons evening grabbed me. Now I was hopefully encourage you to go out right up to happy hardcore for the in the morning might seem mad anyone could ever need to go club- loving it – the crowd, the lights, the and experience some of it yourself. nutters amongst you, plus anything enough, but consider that there are bing, or at least to give it a try. twisted, penetrating sounds. I’m sure you don’t need to be told, I forgot in between. also special events laid on to start If you’ve made it this far and are still All in all I had a pretty good night, but London is the best place in the There are hundreds of establish- interested, or if I’ve been preaching though £16 is pretty pricey. You can world for a lot of things, and clubbing ments all over London willing to take “The people you find to the converted, then you’re in luck. pay less and get a lot more out of a is certainly one of them. When I talk your hard-borrowed cash, and some Our Nightlife section doesn’t write club on a Friday (that said, they were about clubbing, I have to confess I are nowhere near the standard of are another joy of itself, and you may have noticed that selling laughing gas in balloons). It’s have a slightly blinkered view. To others. Prices start from nothing all of last week’s edition, and most a shame that the Fridge has gone me, a club is a place where people and go up to £20 at some of the more the club scene” of this week’s, were written by little against their usual winning formula go to dance. There are a lot of places classy venues like Pacha, or even old me. If you think you could write with a night like this. with dancefloors, big soundsystems higher for special big events. Don’t as these nights are finishing. While I a review of a club, or have any com- Simon Clark and lightshows, and even halfway go to places just because of the price doubt that very many people get up ments or experiences (good or bad) competent DJs, but if everyone is tag though, as there are many hid- extra early on a Saturday to go and to do with London clubbing then we there just to get pissed on £1-a-shot den gems around that you won’t get in amongst the sweaty ravers, if want to hear from you! vodka, I really don’t see the point. even have to pay for (see our review you’re already out then your sleep Felix needs reviewers to keep its For me, clubs exist first and fore- of Buttoned Down Disco, above). It patterns are already screwed, so various sections up to date, and this most to play pumping music that will can be advisable to acquire tickets why the hell not? Afterparties gener- could be you. You don’t need any make you want to dance all night, for a given night in advance. Most of ally cost less than the nights preced- experience at all, and the best part and all night in this case means until the big clubs now offer some form of ing them, and can carry on well into is you get to go free! Promoters like the next morning (usually around credit card booking system, and it’s the next evening. The crowds are to give us free CDs, gig tickets and the time the tube opens at week- a lot nicer to pick up your tickets and often more fun, and tend to be in a guestlist places, so that we can then ends). The existence of these places walk straight through the doors than bit of a state since they haven’t been review them. is a real breath of fresh air, especially queue for hours and still not get in. home yet. Once you start going to I love this – I get to go to all my when all you’re used to is ‘clubs’ full London attracts a lot of big name events like these, you’ll realise there favourite late night hangouts, it’s of underage kids getting as drunk DJs, and whilst the really huge is a real sub-culture associated with free, I get to skip the queue and look as they can as cheaply as possible, names (Sasha, Digweed, Oakenfold) clubbing. all cool saying “my name’s on the and men trying to pull drunk girls. spend most of their time out of this The people you find are another list”, and all I have to do is write a lit- I’m not saying I don’t like cheap country, they all stop back regularly joy of the club scene. While at cer- tle bit about the night I had in return. beer – god forbid, but what I am to pack out the clubs. A lot of the DJs tain places you may visit there will Simple, right? saying is that there are different here are mostly known for the nights be many overtly drunk people, often If you’d like to write for us and go nights out to be had depending on they play at, with real cult followings. with drunken senses of humour and clubbing for free (and this can save what you expect. Go clubbing and There is also a lot of up and coming taste, you’ll find most people you you a lot when you consider you get you might just be refreshed at the talent to be seen if you keep your meet in clubs to be friendly and kind. your entry plus a friend’s for) then A fridge: not that we’re running amount of intelligent conversation eyes and ears open. People share water, gum, cigarettes email me at [email protected], or out of ideas or anything to be had, and the lack of hassle The best way to find out what’s and lots and lots of big grins. If you drop into the Felix office any time. gra15917_Imperial Felix 30/9/04 11:04 am Page 1

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…in a year I went from dealing with the finance department at my university to dealing with the finance directorsofcorporations…

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Arts [email protected] British bohemians Art from the Impressionist period in by a brother and sister living their own rather eccentric lives. Important personages, nuns and gypsies all included

more enduring. Both lived some- at the Slade, and concluding with Gwen John and Augustus John what unconventionally by the stand- works completed just before 1940. It Tate Britain ards of the time; Augustus’ lifestyle is immediately obvious, even from Works by brother and sister in would still not be considered as nor- the pictures from the early period, remarkably different styles mal. A man of apparently magnetic that Gwen and Augustus had very Tickets: £5 students personality, he lived for a time with different outlooks on life. Augustus, both his wife and his mistress, and throughout his career, used bold The poor Tate Britain. Ever since all their children, in a gypsy cara- colour and painted his subjects in the opening of the Tate Modern, it van. Gwen, despite the rather sub- such a manner that their person- has been somewhat overshadowed. dued and somewhat dour image that alities, usually equally expansive as The Tate Modern opened in such a comes from her paintings, was a the painter’s own, are captured. At blaze of publicity, of all descriptions, stupendously independent woman. least, it was their personalities as and was blessed with the added She settled, living alone in Paris, Augustus saw them. One subject, attraction of the first new bridge and modelled for some of the art- W B Yeats, was somewhat less than in London since the nineteenth ists of the day, most famously Rodin pleased with his portrait, saying that century. When we say “Tate” these with whom she ended up having a he looked ‘a sheer tinker, drunk- days, the mind immediately goes all flaming affair – not really what one en, unpleasant and disreputable’. the way across town to Southwark. would expect from the woman in the On the other hand, Gwen chose to However, the eyes, and opinions, of focus more on painting itself. She the nation do manage to focus on was constantly experimenting with the original Tate, the Tate Britain, “She is a sort of light and was deeply troubled by once a year: you can’t avoid the modern Vermeer” the question: ‘When is a painting Turner Prize. complete?’, treating her subjects, The Tate Britain: overshadowed by its Modern counterpart It’s not Turner time yet, though M CHAMOT on Gwen John mostly women, as just another part the exhibition does open later this of a still life composition. In Gwen’s I found Gwen John’s work to be an exercise in viewing the develop- month. However, the Tate Britain pictures! Despite this, Gwen John later works, this preoccupation with somewhat more interesting and ing styles of two siblings. The appall- has just launched the first major remained a very private individual ‘the painting’ becomes most clear, engaging, despite Augustus’ good ing inability of Augustus to achieve exhibition of the work of sibling art- and after the death of Rodin, the though the quick sketches she pro- use of colour (vibrant colour usually a satisfying composition for murals ists Gwen and Augustus John, cov- focus of her life became religion. By duced while travelling or just sitting being a sure winner in my book), and would also be a sobering experience ering the period up to the death of contrast, Augustus John remained a in church do focus more on the ‘life’ despite the rather mundane subject for any amateur artists among you. Gwen in 1939. It is a surprisingly singularly exuberant and extrovert- they are capturing. matter of Gwen’s paintings. You have However, I would direct those engaging exhibition of the very dif- ed personality with voracious sexual The early difference in style is to admire the woman behind them just starting out in ‘art apprecia- ferent works, and a collection that appetites to the end of his life. The particularly evident in the Johns’ and her patience to create such still, tion’ to the National Gallery and the the curators are at pains to point significant differences in their per- portrayals of one Dorelia McNeill, yet captivating, images. Her style Renaissance rooms instead – there out was not envisaged as a ‘compare sonalities translate themselves into a muse to both and the mistress of is quite unique – layers of careful is good use of colour, composition and contrast’ exercise. equally different artistic styles. Augustus. Gwen depicts a quiet girl brush strokes, a very muted use of and some more engaging subject The Johns were both born in Wales The exhibition has been ordered with fine features; Augustus built colour, the three quarter length fig- matter. Also, the ‘peep box’ in one of in the late 1870s and later stud- chronologically so as to show best her up into his dream of the wild, ures – while her chosen subjects are the rooms containing Dutch paint- ied at the Slade School in London the development of the artists’ free gypsy woman. In my opinion, unremarkable, everyday scenes. ings from the era of Vermeer is quite during the 1890s. Augustus found styles, beginning with drawings and what he mostly achieves is to make For those of you with an interest entertaining. fame early on. For Gwen, fame came paintings they produced of each Dorelia (a name he created for her) in art, I would not hesitate to recom- Paola Smith more slowly but has been much other and their friends while still look like a cheap hussy. mend this exhibition, primarily as Arts Editor New entrance Imperial and the arts ing down the catwalk in the latest at the National Photography Exhibition designs, as well as some of lesser Arts stories appear to be making it Alex Holland and Ian Gillett known models and designers. The into the main sections of the news- Blyth Gallery, Sherfield Building vibrant atmosphere of the fashion papers with a vastly increasing fre- Admission FREE show is well captured, and through- quency these days. What is most out his models look like they are amazing about this current trend For those of you who are in search actually enjoying themselves. is that it has absolutely nothing to of the arts but have a singular aver- The twelve photographs that do with any idiocy that has been sion to travel, the Blyth Gallery make up Holland’s exhibition have spouted by the Arts Minister. on the fifth floor of our very own been selected to illustrate the three Unfortunately, all of this coverage Sherfield Building is a treat. The themes in his title – three themes he hasn’t exactly been positive of late. building itself is another matter believes are central to the decision- An exception to the general gloom altogether. making process in photography. of stolen money and quitting direc- Take the lift up to the fifth floor The photographs are a selection tors (the Design Museum’s director (or if you’re feeling the need, go of landscapes and cityscapes. Quite has recently resigned) is the new up the more strenuous way, feel amazingly, Holland has managed entrance to the National Gallery and free), and you will be greeted by the impossible and actually made the associated ‘new’ space. an array of photographs by Alex an assortment of locations around The Getty entrance is a somewhat Holland and Ian Gillett. Holland Imperial College look interesting. less tourist-infested way to get into has titled his side of the exhibition Overall, one walks away from look- the gallery; to the east of the main Light, Direction, Reflection, while ing at his images in a much more entrance it’s also easy to find. There Gillett has left such things up to the serene mood, but also in a state is a new café, a vast improvement imagination of the viewer. of desperation regarding one’s own on the existing one, serving a good The subjects and feel of the works inability to see London with the variety of dishes. However, it is a by the two photographers are as dif- same vision. little on the pricey side of things. ferent as their approaches to exhi- The exhibition runs throughout A new shop has also been added, bition titling. One is colourful and October and is completely free, so along with a new range of quite clev- lively, while the other is somewhat make the effort and go. erly themed merchandise. more contemplative and reflective. Paola Smith In the midst of all the renova- The photographs submitted by tions, they have unfortunately been Gillett are primarily what I would ● Alex Holland writes about unable to make the school groups call fashion photos. There are his exhibition Light, Direction, disappear. Visions by Alex Holland images of well known models glid- Reflection in Felix next week Felix 18 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

Books [email protected] Back and to the left The playwright Christopher Marlowe was stabbed to death at a house in Deptford in 1593, apparently in a drunken brawl. Louise Welsh’s second novel, while a work of fiction, follows the more recent speculation that his killing has more to do with political intrigue. Martin Cansdale explains why Tamburlaine Must Die

in a plague-stricken London. stories, for fear of hindering the benefiting from the voice and views Tamburlaine Must Die Despite a fair sprinkling of poetry, action, whereas this book has two of Marlowe as narrator. by Louise Welsh and having a playwright for its hero main sexual interludes. Both mix Perhaps as a consequence of its (Cannongate) and narrator, this book doesn’t get startlingly direct and blunt descrip- shortness, the narrative is exhilarat- £9.99, 149 pages bogged down in literary pretensions. tions with embarrassingly vague ingly fast-paced. The plot, although HHHII Any references to Marlowe’s works euphemisms. The first liaison, with relatively simple and not following are explained, and the fast-moving Marlowe’s patron, is presumably some temptingly suggested twists, is This book, the author’s second story is based around his life as a intended to show something about exciting enough. Although Marlowe novel, is a fictional account of the spy rather than a writer. the relationship between the two is the only character that is really last days of Christopher Marlowe. The narrative style of this book men. Coming just a dozen pages Tamburlaine is the eponymous reminded me of Alistair MacLean. in and being dealt with in a seem- character of a Marlowe play This may seem strange. What can ingly embarrassed rush, it does lit- “...the fast-moving which tells of the fourteenth cen- a tale set in the sixteenth century tle more than puzzle. tury Mongol warlord’s bloody rise have in common with the work of Indeed, the brevity of the book as story is based around to power. In Welsh’s story, bills are a great writer of twentieth century a whole is a weakness. At around being pasted up all over London, adventure thrillers? Quite a lot, as 25,000 words, this is more novella his life as a spy...” threatening a massacre of immi- the period setting for Welsh’s novel than novel. There is no room for grants in the city. As they refer sits rather oddly with the tone of the more of the scene setting, plot twist- developed, this is done well, and to Marlowe’s plays and are signed writing. Some passages could come ing, and character development that interest in his struggle is the main ‘Tamburlaine’, the authorities are straight from the pages of Where the author seems to do so well. Sub- strength of the book. quick to accuse the unfortunate Eagles Dare, such as: “I thought I plots are introduced and promise If Tamburlaine Must Die was writer. All that saves Marlowe from felt the prickle of surveillance on was around me, checking to see if interest but then come to nothing. twice the length, with all the inter- immediate punishment is the inter- my shoulders. And though I knew it any faces lingered in the thinning For all this criticism, the book is esting detours that it continually vention of Lord Cecil, the Queen’s was most likely the effect of my own crowd.” still very enjoyable to read. Welsh promises, it would be a very good spymaster, for whom Marlowe has blood running faster in my veins, Tamburlaine Must Die does break builds an exciting picture of the book. That aside, it’s still well writ- worked. In an effort to save his own I made my way from the crush of one of MacLean’s rules, though. noisy capital in a series of busy, ten, gripping, and at 149 pages won’t life, he must hunt for the real culprit people, trying to keep note of who He included very little sex in his crowded, descriptive passages, all get in the way of work for very long.

in association with Odeon Kensington Filmsee What’s On, page 9 [email protected] Teaching an Oldboy new tricks... 15 years forced to live in a cell, five days to seek revenge

Oldboy The run-down hotel-style prison Oldboy is gritty, unflinching and is his home for an ever-increasing brutal. Scenes of torture (think teeth Director: Park Chan Wook length of time, his only companion and a claw hammer) sit right along- Starring: Choi Min Sik, Yu Ji Tae, a television, and his captor com- side the pitch black humour that Kang Hye Jeong pletely anonymous. He is fed only crops up from time to time. The Length: 120 minutes fried dumplings, and is gassed into scene of Dae Su eating a live squid Certificate: 18 unconsciousness every few months has – perhaps thankfully, depending Released: 15 October for his room maintenance and upon your point of view – been cut HHHHI haircuts. With nothing else to do to from the UK theatrical release (no pass the time, the unlucky inmate special effects are used: the squid If you thought Sympathy For Mr practices fighting (against a figure really is alive, and Choi Min Sik Vengeance was dark, you haven’t drawn on his wall), formulates an really is eating it). Yet this should seen anything yet. While Park Chan escape, and seethes hatred towards give you an idea of the kind of thing Wook’s previous movie arguably had his incarcerator. we are dealing with here. some uplifting moments in the other- In the masterfully condensed sub- The macabre content is so well wise unremitting darkness, Oldboy sequent years, Dae Su’s wife is mur- shot that it only serves to accentu- “Damn that miniature door” – Dae Su trapped in his cell takes everything down a step. dered and he is named the chief ate the movie’s morose beauty. A The movie follows the story of suspect. Following some unsettling perfect example of this is the single- help make some of the plot’s less ceding section. Dae Su (Choi Min Sik), a completely hallucinatory scenes (leaving us in shot, five minute fight scene, moving realistic turns more believable. A However, minus the last ten min- unremarkable city worker who goes no doubt that the captive is slowly up and down a corridor as Dae Su score that could initially seem com- utes, Oldboy is an absolute classic. about his daily business, spending but surely losing his sanity), he is fights off swathes of prison guards pletely inappropriate soon becomes Unforgiving yet human, brutal yet time with his wife and daughter and gassed and wakes up on a rooftop, with just his hammer. Subtle CGI compelling in the extreme, and is beautiful, detached yet emotional, doing nothing out of the ordinary. a free man. In his new suit, he transitions and more apparent sec- one of the film’s strongest points. it exemplifies all of the best aspects That is until one day, he is arrested finds a telephone, and on the other tions are well placed, and choppy Themes include the driving savage- of extreme cinema. In an age when and charged with being drunk and end is Woo Jin (Yu Ji Tae), the rich editing mirrors the main charac- ry of revenge and a bleak look at Hollywood is buying up every Asian disorderly. Later that evening he is businessman behind fifteen years ter’s disorientation. ill-fated love. ghost movie on the market through released and fights his way home of hellish, reasonless imprisonment. The often colour-washed shots and There are flaws, such as the finale. sheer lack of ideas, here is piece through the sheet-like rain, stopping Dae Su is given five days to work out gloomy settings provide an oppres- Following a climactic few minutes that proves how creative some film- only to telephone (and presumably, why. Falling for sushi bar girl Mi Do sive atmosphere, making for a truly of dramatic twists, building tension makers can still be. grovel to) his wife. This is when (Kang Hye Jeong), Dae Su starts to emotionally effective and draining and a superb ending, the film segues A must-see for extreme and world things start getting strange, as Dae- track down the captor, and a twisted, film. This is aided by convincing into a rather unnecessary final coda, cinema fans. Su is kidnapped and taken to a cell. perverse story unfolds. performances all around, which also losing the visceral impact of the pre- Russell Garwood Felix Thursday 7 October 2004 www.felixonline.co.uk 19

Coffee Break [email protected]

Copyright Duncan Pearse 2004

Felix Crossword 1300 by Snufkin

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 Across Down 1. Imaginary number, perhaps? (7) 1. Tense model (7) 5. Molko fooling around with 2. Immersing themselves later, Catholic, one of Wells’ worst peo- these people spat at basin origi- 9 10 ple (7) nally (11) Hello again! Hope you enjoyed the 9. Synthesis director starts to 3. Leaving book (6) last puzzle. This week’s has a couple rehearse next act (1,1,1) 4. Stretches out dated pieces of of playful aspects, as promised, but 10. Public love group is not working music (10) they’re not well hidden. 11 12 13 (3,2,6) 5. Poor player needs something to I should warn you that 4 down is 11. Size up and eat value meal (8) keep hands warm (4) an old poetic word, not currently 14 12. Bum wipe (6) 6. Gollum’s “nice and cool” items in use. It can sometimes be impos- 15. Thank you, thank you, and found in natural aquarium (4,4) sible to avoid obscure words with- 15 16 goodbye! (2-2) 7. University unit makes agree- out scrapping half the grid, and I’m 16. How the hare and the tortoise ment for French (3) afraid in this case I’ve chickened 17 got on? Yes and no! (10) 8. Lib Dem leader is victim of out. For fairness, I should add that 18. Office worker, Irishman – he has assassination (7) the answer looks fairly normal, and a black-and-white cat (7,3) 13. Insomnia theme tune? (6,5) that a related form can be found in 18 19 20 19. Probe drain (4) 14. Scuba amateur initially quit, flail- Spenser’s poem Virgil’s Gnat. 22. Where Central Station is brack- ing underwater (10) If you’re new to cryptic cross- 21 eted by Depardieu stonkers (6) 17. I’m spanking but unable to come words, fear not – in future columns 23. Inclined to put oneself down (8) (8) I’ll explain some of the basic types 22 23 25. Like diarrhoea, for instance, 18. Current grant (7) of clue. For now, start with 18 across might this be irregular? (11) 20. Knight errant quietly beheaded and 8 down. Snufkin 24 27. Bar man (3) Crusaders’ chief opponent (7) 28. Characters playing thereat? (7) 21. Climber, we hear, is sizeable but Issue 1299 solution 25 26 27 29. Hanging cloth cut short with final directionless (6) I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E alteration (7) 24. A fair lot, reportedly (4) N L E T I I D T 26. Prompt’s line heard (3) C H A R A C T E R M I D G E I N D E C I I R 28 29 D I T T Y M E L A T O N I N E M P E G A N A S C E N T D I G I T A L T T A U O T Last week’s winner is postgraduate Matthew Smith. Well done! A I R F L O W T H I N N E R Send your answers to [email protected] or bring this page down to the Felix office in L O E O L I M A N O M E T E R D U B Y A the West Wing of Beit Quad. Each week, we’ll choose a winner and print their name, thus U T E D P H L N providing them with almost unlimited kudos and self-satisfaction. Everyone who provides S W I F T O P E R A T I N G us with a correct solution will get an entry into our prize draw at the end of the year I U R C D L N L C O M M O N K N O W L E D G E Felix 20 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 7 October 2004

Sport [email protected] Three victories for Rugby Club on tour of New Zealand

RUGBY the white tour kit didn’t stay next morning to head to that way for long. The silky Queenstown for a couple of Imperial College Union skills of ICURFC didn’t get days’ holiday. Hungover play- Rugby Club Tour of New chance to shine, and the team ers were very scared as the Zealand 2004 vowed not to finish the tour bus slid down a hill on icy as losers. roads towards a bridge and By Richard Bishop, You wouldn’t Next, the tour bus moved oncoming traffic, but legen- Jon Freedman and mess with on to Kaikora. After two days dary driver Bruce saved the Hamish Pearse-Danker this lot: the of light training and drink- team. Imperial ing, Imperial were ready The last night in Queenstown Following the success of tours College Un- for their final game, against saw the Kangaroo Court, to places such as Barbados, ion Rugby Canterbury University. where tour ‘indiscretions’ are East Canada, South Africa Club in New Unfortunately, disaster struck punished. There was some and Australia, the Imperial Zealand as the bus wouldn’t start, so quality fancy dress including College Union Rugby Football the team arrived with only 20 Club (ICURFC) headed out to Towers, dislocated his shoul- were confident of extending Wellington Old Boys 44 minutes to warm up and train, New Zealand this summer. der late in the second half, their winning start to the tour ICURFC 12 but everyone was pumped up “Playing on what The majority of the team ruling him out for the rest of the next morning. How wrong Imperial started the match for the game. was basically a flew in to Auckland on 2 July the tour. However, two late they were! after a true show of com- and headed up to Paihia for tries and a cheeky drop goal mitment from Dave Evans, Canterbury University 20 bog, the white the first match against Keri ensured a second win for the Kahukura 35 who ran a mile in order to ICURFC 21 Keri, a local club side. touring side. ICURFC 10 fetch boiling water to mould What a great way to finish tour kit didn’t Despite staying in one of The score says it all. ICURFC former captain Tim Praill’s a tour! In their final game Keri Keri 28 the worst backpackers known decided that hitting the bar gumshield. This was the best for Imperial, Tim Praill, Dom stay that way for ICURFC 30 to man, the squad partied might be appropriate. performance of the day. Wilson, Rich Roberts and After a hard introduction hard and left the next morn- After shaking off some very Arrival in the South Island Duncan Rutherford played long” to New Zealand rugby, Rob ing for Rotarua, a town built bad hangovers, the squad was a bit of a hungover blur, like men possessed, a fitting Robinson saved the match for on huge thermal activity with piled back onto the bus for with lots of time spent sleep- tribute to their contributions a fluorescent orange dress, a Imperial with a last minute its own Polynesian Spa – very a short drive to Taupo for ing on the floor on the boat over the years. baby’s outfit and a suit made try. good to relax and stretch out two days of rest and relaxa- and then a short drive to Imperial scored early on out of bin liners. A lot of lager The touring party then sore muscles. tion, though many decided Nelson. Game number five and had the majority of the later, the players stumbled headed down to Hamilton to The third match was this wasn’t a good use of was against Nelson College. possession in the first half. into town for their final night play a Waikaito University against another club side, time. Instead, they tried Canterbury came back strong out amid some very cold Varsity team. Kahakura. Imperial trained their hands at jumping out Nelson College 12 in the second half and the lead weather. the day before the match and of a perfectly good aero- ICURFC 7 swapped a couple of times, The tour would not have Waikaito University 18 got to watch the opposition plane – skydiving from 15,000 In a match full of foul play only for Imperial to reclaim been such a huge success ICURFC 32 play before hitting the town feet! From Taupo, the team and conflict, Imperial didn’t it before the final whistle and without the contributions of Imperial fielded their best with them and shocking them drove down to Wellington for do themselves justice, losing win by the narrowest of mar- tour manager Neil Davies and side but unfortunately the by the match squad not drink- a match against Old Boys out in a close contest. Playing gins. sponsors Singapore Airlines only specialist full back, Andy ing. Subsequently, the visitors University. on what was basically a bog, The squad left early the and Geoservices. SEND US YOUR SPORTS REPORTS! If you’ve played a match, been on tour or entered a competition, why not write about it for Felix? Send your reports to [email protected], with a good quality photograph if possible

Quick Crossword by Cactus

1 2 3 4 5 6 Across Down 1. Uneasiness (5) 1. Seemingly, but not so (5) 7 8 4. Style of column (5) 2. Armed forces (4) 7. Precise (5) 3. Chronic fatigue (1,1) 9 10 9. Highest point (of achievement) (4) 4. Psanmead (2) 11 12 10. Opposite of prose (4) 5. Midday (4) 13. In the event that (2) 6. Celebrity feature role (5) Send your answers to 13 14 15 16 15. Rope or similar for executing (7) 8. Substance stimulating sexual desire (11) [email protected] or bring 16. To function properly (2) 11. Pale zircon (7) this page to the Felix office in 17. Capital of Burkina Faso (11) 12. Fruit and pastry roll (7) the West Wing of Beit Quad 18. Operating room (2) 14. Ground wheat (5) 17 19. Pistol holder (7) 16. Width of film (5) 20. Alien film star (1,1) 18. Egg-shaped (5) Issue 1299 solution 24. Woodwind instrument (4) 21. Native American symbol or badge (5) D O M E S T I C G H E E 25. Male deer (4) 22. State of unconciousness (4) R A E S A B 18 19 20 21 26. Cut of pork (5) 23. The three wise men (4) A U R A L P I M E N T O 28. Male duck (5) 26. To exist (2) W T L Y O R 22 23 29. Drug (5) 27. Negative response (2) I T E M M A N I L A D A R A D O N C I D L E J T T O F U 24 25 A S O D O M C M G E Y S E R R U N T 26 27 N I E D S E B O V E R D U E E S T E R 28 29 S L B U T I E D D Y S T A M P E D E