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MindBiz BY LARRY GORDON Esther Mann, LMSW 28 Who Is That? The Two Hebrons Hannah Reich Berman 31 Time seems to stand still in Friday night, there was a Marriage First Aid Hebron. The sun moves plethora of minyanim in and Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch 33 across the sky overhead, but around the Me’arat HaMach- down here on the ground it pelah, as we danced to wel- Our Aliyah Chronicle doesn’t look like anything has come in the Shabbos with the Shmuel Katz 59 happened since the days of sun setting behind us. This yesteryear. Walking up and was the beginning of the spe- P h o

Fast Food In Israel t o

back along the rocky hills and cial day each year when Jews B y

Stephanie Freid 80 E l i S

stone stairways on Friday from around the world congre- t e i night and this last Shabbos, it gate in this homey and still n seems as if nothing might somewhat controversial en- A Sefer Torah was dedicated in September in behalf of Jonathan Pollard (inset), who has been imprisoned by the U.S. government for 23 years. Above, have changed since the days clave to celebrate in the pres- Esther Pollard, Jonathan’s wife, at the completion ceremony. There is now a of our patriarch Abraham national grassroots effort to persuade President George W. Bush to commute 4,000 years ago. Continued on Page 10 the remainder of Mr. Pollard’s prison term. See Story, Page 24 HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE HAIR TODAY Israel Car Trouble BY LAURA BEN-DAVID Engagement of Gabby Soep BY LARRY GORDON words, but that’s how I inter- and Danny Winkler. Many Jewish married preted what he said at the See Page 78 women cover their hair. What My father warned me a time. constitutes a “head covering”? very, very long time ago not to But that was a long time That all depends on who you drive when I am in Israel. He ago. Since then, I have been, ask. Women have been known said—and I will always like many of you, an observer to wear everything from a remember it—that there is no of Israeli traffic patterns, do’s babushka to a baseball cap, tolerance for indecision on and don’ts, what will work and from a wig to a woolen hat, Israel’s roads. He also said the what will not. As a result, I from a doily to a do-rag. All movement was fast and furi- have found out for myself that are acceptable options, for at ous, and that it wasn’t for there are times when the last least some people. drivers from another culture thing I want to do is get behind The author with her new and environment. He may not Continued on Page 20 sheitel by Yafi. have said it in those exact Continued on Page 22

Stanley and Trudy Stern of Lawrence. OU For United Jerusalem See Page 48 Returning BEFORE Lost Items AND AFTER Halachic Musings Another Mother’s Musings BY RABBI YAIR BY PHYLLIS J. LUBIN HOFFMAN We picked Yussie up at It is part of living in New school on Friday at about York. Those who have, baruch 1:15. He was excited to see Hashem, never experienced it us, and he was even a tad have never truly felt the exhil- interested in going on the

A aration of life in the city. We Shabbaton. But when we s s a

Senator Smith and f S

h are referring to the experience arrived at the Young Israel of i l o /

Assemblyman Hikind at Nachas I s r a of finding that someone has Woodmere, got him and his e l S

breakfast. See Page 47 u n broken into your car, stealing Barney suitcase out of the car, The OU opened its national convention, representing 250 synagogues across the briefcase left inside it and and began our short walk to CANDLE LIGHTING America, in Jerusalem this week. Nir Barkat, who was recently elected as strewing the contents over the join the other participants mayor of Jerusalem, accepted a million-signature petition from Stephen Nov. 28 – 4:11 PM Savitsky (right), president of the Orthodox Union, and Aron Raskas (center), streets of our fair city. waiting for the big moment— Dec. 5 – 4:09 PM the convention chairman, calling for the permanent reunification of Jerusalem as the capital of the Jewish State. Continued on Page 14 Continued on Page 8 2 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 3 4 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 5 6 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 7 Mother’s Musings would have a great time. I was and handed it to Jon. “Don’t worry. I will sit right called my cell phone: “Did my Continued from Front Cover hopeful of that, and yet feared “Go Shabbaton now!” he next to him,” Jon reassured. smush really go?” how we would convince him announced. We walked him to “Have a great Shabbos, Yes, he really did. As we we saw many familiar faces— to actually get on the bus to the van and found him a seat Yussie,” Lenny and I said entered our house filled with Yussie was still apprehensive. give the Yachad Shabbaton a next to a very friendly girl. practically in unison. noisy kids, one voice was “No Shabbaton, Mommy. Me chance. (Incidentally, while “Bye, Mommy, Daddy, see you “Just go, Mommy! See you missing. Rivka invited a friend stay here.” waiting for the bus, Alyssa tomorrow!” Yussie said. tomorrow!” Yussie repeated. for Shabbos, so we wouldn’t Before we left school Yussie reminded me about the But we couldn’t just leave What more needed to be be so lonely. This would be had just used the facilities, Kulanu Cookbook that is him there. What if he changed said? We moved away from the first time this friend came but all of a sudden he asked being compiled; all those his mind? What if they don’t the van and watched from for Shabbos, but she wouldn’t Lenny, “Daddy, need bath- interested, please contact her understand what he wants? afar as the final advisors and get to meet Yussie! Yussie room.” Yussie rarely asks to at www.kulanukids.org.) Lenny told another nice advi- participants arrived. Could it loves when the kids have use the bathroom, and we As Yussie and Lenny returned sor, Talia, that Yussie must have be that we could do this? friends over. But I reminded realized it was a delaying tac- from their visit to the men’s his “nick” on Shabbos. He Could it be that we would myself that he would be meet- tic. But if Yussie asks for the room, our savior arrived: Jon explained that “nick” is Yussie’s actually let these people take ing new friends this Shabbos. bathroom, that’s what he gets. Savage, one of the Shabbaton’s word for any potato kugel, one our young son away for And so, this short Shabbos Lenny and Yussie went into coordinators. As soon as Yussie of his Shabbos mainstays. Shabbos? day seemed very long. All the Young Israel on their mis- spotted Jon, all his fears (and “Don’t worry,” she And so the van pulled out of Friday night, I couldn’t help sion. I stayed to man the ours) about the Shabbaton explained, “there will be ‘nick’ the parking lot and we pulled but wonder what Yussie was Barney suitcase and to wait seemed to disappear. After run- available.” out of our parking spot for our doing at every moment of the for the van and the advisors. ning into his arms and giving “Make sure he can’t get out of first Shabbos “on our own.” evening. “You’ll see,” Alyssa Alyssa (one of the moms) him a very big greeting, Yussie the van. He likes opening locks As we drove home, our said to me while we were wait- began to reassure me that he picked up his Barney suitcase and seat belts,” I cautioned. daughter in Binghamton ing for the van, “you’ll be able to sleep late on Shabbos morning!” Sleep late? I could- n’t sleep more than an hour at a time that Friday night. Shabbos morning arrived and I rounded up the troops to prepare for shul. I even acquiesced and told Lea that she could visit her friend Ahava on Shabbos afternoon if she could stay until after Shabbos. I figured that it was a relatively short day, and this way Lea would be entertained without Yussie. And so Shabbos afternoon I attempt- ed to make up for the sleep lost Friday night. As the min- utes ticked by I was missing the normal sounds of our house tremendously. Just when I decided to give up on sleep, there was a knock at the door: Lea was home. Apparently she thought Ahava’s house was too “shmoiling” and she wanted to come home. I gave Lea a big hug and we “bonded.” Shabbos ended and the phone rang, and I could see it was Jon Savage calling (thank goodness for caller ID): “Hello, Mommy!” the sweetest voice greeted me. “Hi, Yussie. How was your Shabbos?” “Good.” “Did you meet new friends?” “Yes. O.K. Mommy, bye!” As Yussie rushed off the phone, I was reassured. He sounded happy; he even sounded rested. “How did he do?” I asked Jon. “Great! We’re having a melaveh malkah and should be home around 9:30.” As I placed the phone back on the hook, a deep calm came over me. We did it! Yussie went away for Shabbos and had a good time! Of course, we won’t be able to find out many particulars, but that is par for the course with Yussie. Just then the phone rang again. Thanks again to caller ID; I already knew who 8 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES was on the phone. “Hi, how are you?” “Fridy [my familial nickname]? It’s Ruth Krasner (my sister-in-law Haviva’s mom from New Rochelle, location of this past weekend’s Shabbaton).” “Yes, how are you? Did you see Yussie?” “Yes, and he was so cute! When Dan and I asked an advisor if they knew where Yosef Lubin was, she said, ‘Sure, he is very popular!’” Very popular— that makes sense. “Did he look happy?” “He seemed very happy as he was eating his cupcake.” “Did he look put together?” I was nervous that they wouldn’t put his out- fits together correctly. “He looked adorable! He looks just like Nahum!” (My nephew) “I hope he had a good time!” “Well, this way you know that at least at Kiddush time this afternoon he was happy.” And I was happy. Through Ruth and Dan’s eyes, I had a little glimpse now of his Shabbos. I knew that he looked cute and was very popular! To pass the time before Yussie arrived home, we did our favorite activity: food shopping. I have a 90-day free pass to B.J.’s, so off we went. I’m not sure if we got such terrific bargains, but it fulfilled a couple of requirements: exercise, since I am back on track again (walking up and down the aisles), and “healthy” snack purchases for hungry children (and adults). As we unloaded our metziahs, I noticed that it was already 8:30…only one more hour until Yussie’s arrival. As I ate my oatmeal and bonded some more with Lea (I allowed her to stay up until Yussie came home), I remarked to Lenny, “I don’t even care if they oversleep tomorrow morning.” “Of course not. If they miss Kulanu one week, I’m sure it will be OK.” “Yussie must be so tired—he didn’t go to sleep until 11:00 p.m. last night! He never goes to sleep that late!” 9:30 was upon us, and I gave Jon a call. “We’re here!” he announced. We hopped into the car and met Yussie in the same place we had left him, the Young Israel of Woodmere parking lot. He ran into our arms. “How lucky we are to have such a won- derful child,” I thought to myself! “How did he do?” Lenny asked. “Great—only one problem.” Problem? Oh no, what happened? “We forgot his Barney suitcase!” That should be our worst problem! By the way, Sunday morning came the next day and both Yussie and Lea were up bright and early for Kulanu. And you know what? So was I! And so, that Shabbos has come and gone, and we celebrated this past Shabbos with Yussie in his seat at the table. Friday afternoon Yussie asked, “Shabbaton again?” “Not this Shabbos, Yussie.” “Aw, man…why?” he asks in his cute way. “Because not every Shabbos is a Shabbaton, Yussie.” O

Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. She welcomes your questions and comments at [email protected]. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 9 FROM THE EDITOR wants to sell us. And then there are the FEATURES Continued from Front Cover hardworking, mostly young, men and women who have dedicated their lives Around The Five Towns 44 ence of the world’s first Jews, Abraham to simply fulfilling the dreams of our P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 and Sarah. And there is a feeling that prophets by doing their part to settle 516-984-0079 Abraham’s presence in this city on this all of the sacred land of Israel. To [email protected] Aliyah Chronicle [email protected] day is still and will always be palpable. them, the resettlement of Jewish Clearly, though it has been almost 40 Hebron is a fulfillment of a Divine LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON Shmuel Katz 59 Publisher/Editor Managing Editor years since Jewish residents returned to promise and an indication that the YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON reclaim this Biblical city, there are still ultimate redemption of the Jewish peo- Sales Managers Classified Ads 74 problems. The curious thing about ple is drawing closer. CHANA ROCHEL ROSS these problems is that, with only minor But Shimon Peres, the 84-year-old Editorial Assistant Five Towns Simcha variations, they are the very same president of Israel, and Ehud Olmert, SIDI BARON issues of decades past, which cannot the corruption-riddled prime minister, YAKOV SERLE Jeff Neckonoff 78 JERRY MARKOVITZ Sales Representatives Insights On The Torah SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor Rabbi Yanki Tauber 36 Cholent, kugel, and drink were CONTRIBUTING EDITORS Irwin H. Benjamin, Hannah Reich Berman Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah 40 Anessa V. Cohen, Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg flowing through the night, but not Toby Klein Greenwald, Michele Herenstein Rabbi Azarya Berzon 69 Rabbi Yair Hoffman, Miriam Horowitz Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky exactly in that order. Shmuel Katz, Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann Letters To The Editor 34 Rochelle Miller, Martin Mushell, Naomi Ross Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow, Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher MICHAL WEINSTEIN, BINYAMIN RHODES Luach 24 DOV GORDON be resolved and simply refuse to go as well as others, have made their posi- Staff Graphic Artists away. tions on places like Hebron well known. MindBiz IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS Coming away from both a surreal They contend that Hebron, and places Staff Photographers Esther Mann, LMSW 28 and fantastic Shabbos in Hebron, I like it in other areas of Judea and FRANKEL & CO. struggled with the idea that there are Samaria, as well as in Jerusalem, are Design & Production actually two very distinct and different nothing more than a collection of old, TALIYE CORLEY Real Estate Hebrons, and that this may in fact be meaningless stones which impedes real Art Director Anessa V. Cohen 27 the source of a significant degree of progress toward “peace.” The tragedy is SUZETTE LEE confusion in this ancient region. There that these same leaders accord maxi- Assistant Art Director is the Hebron that we read about in mum reverence to places where Jesus The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly news- That’s The Way It Is! the Israeli press, which has this place and Mohammad may have walked and paper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not Hannah Reich Berman 31 portrayed as a hotbed of Jewish which are considered sacred by responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or extremism, intolerance, and even ter- Christians and Muslims. But they establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times. ror—a picture the media desperately apparently do not vest Jewish Biblical

10 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES beliefs with the same standard of credibility or respect that they and the press give the beliefs of the Palestinian Arab population that lives in such intimate proximity to the Jews of Hebron, and of the people in the Arab countries that sur- round Israel. I think that their insensitiv- ity to the rightful claims of the Jewish people is due to their own personal doubts about what Judaism is and their doubts about the faith of their fathers and grandfathers. Yet, despite the difficulties and obstacles, last Shabbos was a unique and very public celebration of all that Hebron is. So many of our communi- ties feel a closeness and affini- ty for Hebron—the city of our patriarchs and matriarchs, the first capital city of Israel, where Dovid HaMelech reigned for seven years. And, as our com- mentators pronounce, Hebron is also the gateway to Gan Eden, the place where all souls pass through as they make their way in return to their Heavenly source after their time in this world. While there were indeed thousands of people in Hebron for Shabbos, there were not nearly enough to amply express to the world that the land of Hebron is not just an important issue, but a vital cog in the machine that makes Jewish life what it is. As we sat there on Shabbos and as you read this today, there are those, both in and out of the government of Israel, anxiously planning an ultimate Jewish evacuation from Hebron, giving it back to exclusive Arab rule, making the Cave into a mosque, and declaring that peace has been achieved by clearing the Jews out of this place. Unlike the reports that appeared immediately after Shabbos in many media out- lets here and elsewhere, all was joyous and peaceful in Hebron. Young people from yeshivas and seminaries as well as several hundred from abroad streamed into town on Friday afternoon. Soon tents began to pop up wherever there was a patch of grass, and sleeping bags were laid out around the city. If you have any doubt that this is a spiritual place, then all you need to do is check out the rather austere and even rough accommodations that were provided (or not provided, as the case may be) to convince yourself that this was not one of those easy weekends away. Friday night, after the seu- dah, the doors were simply open for guests to stop in, have another snack, and say

Continued on Page 12 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 11 FROM THE EDITOR win a slot in the Knesset as a Likud but not exactly in that order. building was purchased by another Arab Continued from Page 11 MK. Some felt that it’s possible that The day before, on Friday, there was resident of Hebron (who was silently his party would win as many as three a tour of the destroyed home of Noam fronting for the Jewish community of hello to the people of Hebron. At one seats in the next Knesset. Federman’s family. Government forces Hebron), the building was still allowed such house, we walked into the living Further up the road we had a short stormed into their home in Hebron two to proceed because it was all Arab. Only room as Moshe Feiglin of Manhigut visit with the Hebron spokesman, weeks ago and threw him, his wife, and when almost completed and after eight Yehudit was holding court. Feiglin is David Wilder. He had to rush back sleeping kids out house before destroy- Jewish families moved in did the Israeli excited about the upcoming Likud from New York last week because news ing the houses. Their claim was that the government begin claiming that the elections on December 8 and just as had surfaced that the government’s homes were built without appropriate transaction was a fraudulent one. enthusiastic about the national elec- evacuation of the nine families living permits. Oh, yes, by the way, it’s impos- On Shabbos afternoon, we visited tions here in Israel, scheduled for in Bet HaShalom was imminent. sible for a Jew to get a permit to build in Bet HaShalom and the next generation February 10. There’s no question that Thankfully, that did not materialize, Hebron, explained Yossi Baumol, direc- of the well-known Levinger family, Feiglin’s approach is one that we are but no one knows what to expect from tor of the Hebron Fund. And that’s what Hebron’s original settlers. We were not accustomed to. However, these this government in its desperate wan- happened with the Peace House, or Bet given a tour of the building by Michoel governments of Israel, regardless of ing days. Then it was up to Tel HaShalom, near the location where 15 Pollack, a 29-year-old American who how they will be constituted in the Rumedia, which was the Bet Jewish men were killed walking from attended Yeshiva of South Shore in future, desperately need a little dose of HaShalom of its day, and the home Friday night prayers back to Kiryat Arba Hewlett, who pointed out the impor- Feiglin if they are to be prevented from where it seemed all the action was tak- about seven years ago. Bet HaShalom tant strategic location of the building. sending Israel into total ruination. ing place, that of Rabbi and Mrs. was owned by a local Arab, so he was It was an exhausting but very inform- Most in the room felt fairly assured Baruch Marzel. Cholent, kugel, and allowed to build a large four story build- ative day which illustrated why Israeli that this time around Feiglin would drink were flowing through the night, ing with many apartments. When the governments like the present one are

12 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES inept when it comes to delivering peace for the people of Israel. On Shabbos afternoon I found an English-speaking 19-year-old IDF soldier who was born in California. His opinion was that Israel did not belong in Hebron, that it was unnecessary for us to be there, and that we are simply oppressing the indigenous Arab population. There was zero knowl- edge or understanding of the role Hebron has played in the history of the Jews—another Israeli government fail- ure. Later that day we spoke with a police officer who said he had been sta- tioned and working in Hebron for the last 15 years. He said the local popula- tions got along well with one another. It is only the outside agitators from Europe and the U.S. that stir the caul- dron and cause the problems we read about in the papers. This is only a small glimpse into the Shabbos Chayei Sarah experi- ence. All night and all day long we lived with Avraham Avinu and his purchase of the Cave, the Me’arah, so that he could bury Sarah on the day she died. We remembered and celebrated the event and the holiness of this place as Hebron—and, at least for this day, everything here— was so much alive. O Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at [email protected]. Hebron: The Backstory

BY DAVID BEDEIN AND ARLENE KUSHNER

The city of Hebron, approximately 20 miles south of Jerusalem in the Judean Hills, has been linked to the Jewish people from time immemori- al. It is, after Jerusalem, the most sacred city for the Jewish people. Today, about 1,000 Jews live in four small neighborhoods of the city: Avraham Avinu, Beit Hadassah, Tel Romano, and a region above Tel Rumeida where mobile homes are located. The population comprises some 100 families as well as 250 stu- dents studying at the Yeshivat Shavei Hevron in Tel Romano. Within Hebron, near the Jewish neighborhoods, is the Cave of Machpelah, the Tomb of the Patriarchs. An exceedingly ancient site of enormous religious signifi- cance to Jews, it too is under Israeli control today. Immediately to the east of Hebron is the modern Jewish municipality of Kiryat Arba; founded in 1971, it now boasts 6,5000 resi- dents and provides services— schools, stores, clinics—upon which the Jewish residents of Hebron rely.

Historical Connection Hebron—sometimes referred to as Mamre, and sometimes as Kiryat Arba—is mentioned 78 times in the Bible. The Jewish connection to this

Continued on Page 26 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 13 Halachic Musings be returned unless the young man gets 1) a super siman (a siman muvhak there is no obligation to do so. Continued from Front Cover hold of his mother and finds out from b’yoser); A Torah scholar who is known to her the identifying features of her 2) a regular siman (siman muvhak); never lie when it is forbidden to do so In this case, a teacher’s briefcase Hebrew papers? Can’t the papers just and is believed when he does an eyeball was stolen, and all her Hebrew teach- be given back? 3) a weak siman (siman garua). identification. It seems from this rul- ing papers were stolen along with it. The resolution to this question All poskim agree that if someone ing that a Torah scholar who occasion- The papers did not have her name on begins with a Mishnah in the second can provide a super siman, there is a ally may not be so truthful, and a non- them, but they did have the name of chapter of Bava Metzia (Mishnah 7). Biblical obligation to return the item Torah scholar, are not given the item the school in which she taught. A cer- There it says that if the would-be to him. If the purported owner pro- when the identification is only an tain kind-hearted individual had found assurance after eyeballing the item, the papers and had collected them in rather than by providing simanim. fulfillment of the mitzvah of hashavas The reason cited for the rules of aveidah. The teacher’s son was then simanim is that the desire for dispatched to claim the papers from If someone provides a weak money is great. If that is the case, the finder. one can make a reasonable argu- The young man called from the ment that if it is an item with no home of the kind-hearted finder of the siman, such as “it is tall” or “it is value to another, and there is no papers; he was being asked to identify concern of theft, a regular person the papers by providing the proper short,” the item is not returned. would be believed by eyeballing, simanim—identifying signs. He called just as a Torah scholar would be his father, the teacher’s husband, who believed for an item of value. assessed the situation. The gentleman In the end, the gentleman gave my who had the papers was obviously teas- wife her papers back. O ing his son. Teasing happens all the owner of the item identified the item vides the finder with a regular siman, time (it is also part of the New York itself but did not provide any signs that there is a question among authori- The author can be reached at City experience). He advised his son to he owned it, the one who has found ties whether the obligation to return [email protected]. reply in kind, by indicating that the the item should not give it to him. The the item is Biblical or rabbinic in teacher and her husband suspect him Mishnah quotes a verse in Devarim nature (see Rosh, Bava Metzia 2:13). of actually having stolen the briefcase, (22:2), “…and it should remain with If someone provides a weak siman, WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? and to gently ask if he could take a you until your brother seeks it...” The such as “it is tall” or “it is short,” the quick look around the house to make words “d’rosh achicha, until your item is not returned to him; more WE WANT TO KNOW! sure that the briefcase itself was not brother seeks it,” may also be read as, proof is necessary. also in the house—“you know, by acci- “investigate your brother.” The If an item has no simanim but it E-MAIL US AT dent.” The young man told his father, derashah is necessary in order to has been used, and the owner could “That would be a great way to tease ensure that the item is not being identify it by eyeballing it, there is a [email protected] back, but it does not look to me as if he returned to the wrong person (see debate between the Shulchan Aruch is joking.” Noda BiYehudah M.K. E.H. 51 and (C.M. 262:1) and the Rama as to OR UPLOAD Could it be that this gentleman K’tzos C.M. 259:2). whether there is an obligation to YOUR COMMENTS AT (who happens to be a fine ben Torah) The sages have delineated three types announce the find. The Shulchan was correct—that the items, worthless of identifying marks (see Shulchan Aruch rules that it must be www.5tjt.com to anyone but this teacher, should not Aruch, Choshen Mishpat 267): announced; the Rama rules that

14 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 15 16 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 17 18 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 19 Hair nation. But cover it, I do. I have a wide Continued from Front Cover variety of options, including a beautiful wig—a sheitel, in the Orthodox vernac- I have personally chosen (and ular—that has seen better days. Not unchosen, and chosen again) to cover wanting to always be “the woman in the

She sent my little wig into a really little room to have a little Russian woman add a little more hair.

my hair. How I do so changes from day hat,” I decided it was high time that I to day and from week to week, accord- purchase some new hair to wear on my ing to my mood and my religious incli- hair. And so I embarked on my quest.

20 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES The first thing was to find out where to go. Of course, I asked my friends with the prettiest wigs, falls, and hair- pieces. At least four had gone to a woman named Yafi, so Yafi was where I would go. I made my appointment and got directions to her Jerusalem place of work. Quite honestly I expected a little room in a small apartment, with a stack of boxed wigs, a mirror, and a chair. What I found instead was a mul- tiroom wig factory with so many pretty, young, bewigged women, I had a hard time determining who was working there and who the customers were! I was asked to sit and wait, so I found a chair and examined all of the sheitels worn by the multitude of women there, noting in particular the color, style, and obviousness. (Hey, I’m willing to wear one—that doesn’t mean I want anyone to know it!) Finally it was my turn. I didn’t meet anyone named “Yafi,” but I explained what I wanted (“Something beautiful, no one will know it’s a wig”) to Brachie, a beautiful young woman with a stun- ning long, dark sheitel. She told me my options, recommending these little mini-wigs (I call it a “sheitlet”) that blend into your own hair, and then start- ed writing down my order as she spoke. A bit flustered, I said, “Wait! I’m just shopping around! This is just an exploratory visit.” To which she cleverly responded, “Okay, but just so you know, if you order now it can be ready in a week.” Bing! A week? I was tantalized. I deliberated in my mind, going back and forth between “But I haven’t tried any- thing on!” and “I will have it in time for my business trip!” Desire overruled san- ity, and I wrote a deposit check. The moment I gave the go-ahead, I began to panic. What was I thinking? It’s so expensive! Maybe it won’t match my hair! Maybe it will look ridiculous! I began grilling all of my friends who have these sheitlets: “Is it comfortable? Is it easy? Is it low maintenance?” Then I found out that actually most of them blow-dry and straighten their hair every time they wear them! I freaked. There was simply no chance that I would start bothering with all that nonsense! I immediately called Brachie in a panic and asked her if it was going to be pin-straight, requiring a 45-minute styling routine. I ended with, “Because if it is, then I don’t want it!” “Don’t worry,” she assured me, “it will be wavy.” Somehow a seed of doubt remained lodged in my brain, and the remainder of the waiting time I was plagued with anxiety that this huge investment would be a disappointment at best, a

Continued on Page 25

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 21 HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE earlier this week, and what a ride that huge amount of construction taking the road. Nothing that he said sound- Continued from Front Cover is. I can never get over the beauty of place; most of Jaffa Road is closed, and ed like it had the words “with your the mountainous surroundings and that has apparently increased the con- hands up” contained in the message. the wheel of a car here in Israel. Then then the sudden transition to the gestion on the parallel traffic arteries. As I waited for him to get out of his there are other times when I don’t want desert. If I didn’t know it was real, I You have to be very patient and car, I fumbled for my driver’s license anything to do with buses or taxis. would have thought that the whole methodical, but at the same time and my press card, and then I told What usually happens is that once I place was something constructed in aggressive, to get anywhere by car him that I was a journalist from New rent a car for a day I don’t want to give Hollywood. around here. What complicates things York and I had no idea that the no- it up so soon, because I begin to enjoy I’m not going to say that driving the is that so many of the drivers on the speaking-on-a-handheld-phone law the feel and the flow of the road. roads of Israel is the thing I like doing road learned how to drive in the cock- had arrived in Israel. And I really did And that’s what happened this week most, although there are not many pit of an F-15 fighter jet. not know it. How was I supposed to in Israel. I no longer felt the need to things in the world more breathtaking And then there are the traffic laws, possess that information? Most things stand on street corners waving my than that drive through the mountains needing to know the similarities and from the states take a couple of hand at little white cars with little yel- of Israel on the way to the Dead Sea. differences between the rules here decades to reach Israel. Anyway, there low signs on top signaling that they are was no summons issued, but I was on cabs for hire. In addition to that, a notice from a polite police officer friend that I was speaking to my first with roots in Ethiopia that there was day here clued me in on how to rent a to be no more talking on the phone car for 50 percent less than the usual So many of the drivers on the road while driving. asking price. That means that for a The next day I was drifting down typical, fairly good-size Mazda or learned how to drive in the King George Street trying to get some- Subaru for which they are asking $53 where—I don’t remember where— a day, I’m paying only $29 per day. when another police officer motioned That alone can make you want to drive cockpit of an F-15 fighter jet. for us to stop. My wife rolled down the here in Israel. window and said innocently (which we I’m a little embarrassed to admit were), “What did we do wrong?” The that about ten years ago I was paying officer heard the New York accent and $71 a day for a car not dissimilar to The roads are extremely curvy, and you and those I am accustomed to in New asked in her own local accent, “Are the one I am driving this week. At have to pay close attention. York. For example, did you know that you tourists?” and then waved us by. that time, we came across someone My biggest problem with cars in you are not allowed to be on the I wasn’t that fortunate when it else driving the same type of car, and Israel is getting lost and then trying to phone while driving in Israel? I didn’t came to the parking situation in he wanted to know how much I was figure out how to get back on track know that. But I did find out through Israel. I have to say, though, that I am paying for mine, because he felt that while still driving as fast as everyone firsthand experience on Highway #1, continuously impressed with the fact he was overpaying. After I told him, else on the road. It can be challenging which runs from Tel Aviv to that so many sidewalks are used for with an astounded look he told me and frustrating at times. Still, despite Jerusalem. As I glided through midday parked cars, so as to facilitate the that he was paying $39 a day. I was the drawbacks, I prefer driving to other traffic, I suddenly had this blue-light- flow of traffic on the streets. I think then the one that was astounded, as modes of transportation, because of ed vehicle right up on my back it’s a smart and efficient use of space. you can imagine. the independence it gives us to be on bumper. The officer announced on Granted, it can sometimes be diffi- So anyway, I have this Mazda that the move as we please. his public address system something cult to parallel park between a car really hugs these roads here in Israel The traffic in Jerusalem, though, is in Hebrew, which I assumed meant well. I drove to the Dead Sea for a day the worst it’s been in years. There is a that I should pull over to the side of Continued on Page 63

22 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 23 National Grassroots Effort To Help Free Jonathan Pollard

With less than two months until is grossly disproportionate compared United States who have expressed vice-president of the National President George W. Bush leaves to the sentences of others convicted interest in helping Jonathan Pollard,” Council of Young Israel, communi- office, a new nationwide grassroots of spying for allied nations. Countless said Rabbi Pesach Lerner. “This grass- cates regularly with Jonathan Pollard effort has been launched to remind elected officials, individuals from the roots campaign gives people the and his wife, Esther, and serves as the White House of Jonathan Pollard’s national intelligence arena and the opportunity to participate in a respect- Jonathan’s clergyman. O plight and to push for a commutation of his prison sentence. For this effort to succeed, it is critical that the White House hear CALENDAR from as many people as possible in It is critical that the White House the next several weeks. At the freep- ollardnow.com website, visitors can LUACH find contact information for the hear from as many people as possible White House, a sample letter that people can fax or mail, and an online in the next several weeks. Nov. 27-Dec. 6 petition that will be sent to ZIP Code: 11516 President Bush. Pollard, who just began his 24th 1 Kislev – Erev Shabbos year in federal prison, has repeatedly Friday, November 28 expressed his remorse publicly and in legal world, and religious and com- ful and coordinated effort intended to Rosh Chodesh Kislev private, in letters to many presidents munity leaders have described help enable Jonathan Pollard to go Daf yomi: Kiddushin 51 and others. His health has deteriorat- Pollard’s sentence as excessive and home to Israel to his family.” Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/tefillin: 5:59 am ed significantly during his more than have called for his sentence to be Rabbi Lerner, who is one of the Sunrise: 6:57 am two decades in prison. commuted. driving forces behind www.freepollard Latest Shema: In addition, Pollard’s life sentence “There are individuals across the now.com and is also the executive M. Av. 8:43 am Gr’a 9:19 am Candle Lighting: 4:11 pm 2 Kislev – Shabbos Saturday, November 29 Shabbos Parashas Toledos Shabbos ends**: 5:14 pm 72 min. 5:41 pm Eve of 8 Kislev Thursday, December 4 Begin ‘Tal U’Mattar” at Maariv 8 Kislev – Erev Shabbos Friday, December 5 Daf yomi: Kiddushin 58 Earliest tallis/tefillin: 6:05 am Sunrise: 7:04 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:48 am Gr’a 9:24 am Candle Lighting: 4:09 pm 9 Kislev – Shabbos Saturday, December 6 Shabbos Parashas Vayeitzei Shabbos ends**: 5:13 pm 72 min. 5:40 pm * from MyZmanim.com ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos according to your minhag Municipal Calendar For 5 Towns and NYC Thursday, November 27 Thanksgiving: NYS banking holiday; no garbage pickup; local post offices closed; public schools closed; NYC parking rules (including meters) suspended, except where in effect 7 days a week. Transit: Sunday/holiday schedule.

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24 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Hair s”xc Continued from Page 21 disaster at worst. Finally the big day arrived. I wore my contacts and did my makeup, thinking to put my best face forward during this hair-raising experience, so to speak. I arrived early and sat myself down to watch the frenzy of activity and wait as I added to this very article-in-progress. Remarkably, someone with the same type of demi-wig was in one of the chairs, having hers done. I asked her how she liked it, and she said she did. I could see for myself that it was very cute and that it blended nicely with her sim- ilar-to-mine wavy hair. She warned me, though, that it is very hard to keep the stylist focused on you, and to expect to be here all day. I didn’t really believe her, but I hunkered down in my seat and prepared to be there for a while. Finally, I saw it—what looked like a pile of hair that was just swept from the floor and attached to some fabric turned out to be my wig. I thought I would die. Yafi, the salon owner, finally presented herself, and she assured me that it was not finished and not to worry, it would be fine. She sat me down in the coveted salon-owner chair and placed a smock around my neck. I kept my notepad out, hoping the constant reminder that an article would be written about this would ensure a better outcome. You’re reading my sheitel insurance policy! I settled down, viewing my reflection in the massive mirror, and watched as she placed the ratty-looking thing on my head. What was I thinking?! She began to spritz and comb and snip, working her way around my head, and I began to see the beginnings of what just might become a fashionable style begin to emerge. Intrigued, I paid close attention, fascinated. Finally she seemed finished, but the wiglet looked far from done. Apparently these things don’t come complete with all their hair. She sent my little wig into a really little room to have a little Russian woman add a little more hair. The little Russian woman approached me with five swatches of blond hair and asked me which one I wanted to add. There was no way I was going to be responsible for this decision! I told her to ask Brachie, the hair-choos- er. She did well on the initial piece; I trusted her to do the rest. Then I stood by and waited as the little Russian woman sewed strand by strand into my new acquisition. They told me it would take 20 minutes. It seemed like it would take 20 days! After much sewing, adding, remov- ing, fixing, cutting, starting, stopping— over four hours’ worth!—I put it on and could not believe my eyes. It was really nice! Nicer than my own hair, in fact— not that that is saying much. Yafi made it picture-perfect. I exam- ined my reflection in the mirror and thought, “Hmm, something is not right.” Then I shook my head hard, run- ning my fingers through the freshly done do, messing it up a bit. There! Now it looked like me. Perfect! O

Laura Ben-David began writing when she made aliyah in 2002, and hasn’t stopped. She is the author of Moving Up: An Aliyah Journal (Mazo Publishers) and the proud owner of more hats than you’d care to count. To order Moving Up, write to [email protected]. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 25 Hebron nity was maintained during subse- years. In 1540, Malkiel Ashkenazi (a By the early 1800s, the Jews had Continued from Page 13 quent Arab conquests. During the peri- Sephardic rabbi), became Hebron’s acquired by purchase and lease over od of Crusader conquest, in the 12th rabbi and halachic expert; he acquired 800 dunams of land. Religious schol- ancient city begins with Abraham: After and 13th centuries, Jews were again a courtyard that became central to ars strengthened the spiritual life of entering Canaan some 3,700 years ago, exiled, but returned to establish a com- Jewish life there and established the the community as well. he came to live in Hebron, which is munity under the Muslim Mamluks, in Avraham Avinu synagogue, which was In 1879, Haim Yisrael Romano, a where he learned of G-d’s promise of the 13th to 16th centuries. housed in a magnificent building. In wealthy Turkish Jew, venturing beyond the land to his seed. When his wife Seven hundred years ago, the the late 16th and early 17th centuries, the old Jewish Quarter, built an elegant Sarah died, he purchased a family bur- Mamluks decreed that Jews were for- well-known Kabbalists from Tsfat and spacious home known as Beit ial cave and surrounding field in bidden to enter the Machpelah, which moved to Hebron, bringing their Romano, which he utilized as his fam- Hebron from Ephron the Hittite for was functioning as a mosque. The teachings with them. ily residence and a hospitality center 400 measures of silver. That burial cave edict that Jews were restricted to the The late 17th and early 18th centu- for visiting Turkish Jews; it also incor- is the Cave of Machpelah, where all of infamous seventh step of the entrance ry saw difficult times, with blood porated a synagogue, the Istanbuli the matriarchs, save Rachel, and all of was in force until the 20th century. libels, expulsion decrees, and poverty. Synagogue. In 1893, a one-story build- the patriarchs are buried. ing called Hesed l’Avraham—which Three thousand years ago, David was provided assistance to the needy, anointed king of Israel in Hebron, and Jewish and Arab—was established by ruled from there for seven years before wealthy North African Jews. In 1909 making Jerusalem his capital. After the For the first time in over 3,000 the building was expanded and a clinic destruction of the First Temple, many, established. As Hadassah, the but not all, Jews were exiled. Judah the Women’s Zionist Organization, con- Maccabbee did battle here in the 2nd years, there was no remnant tributed the salaries of the medical century BCE and Hebron again staff, the building became known as became a Jewish city. Subsequently, community, no Jewish presence. Beit Hadassah. In 1912, the fifth King Herod built the structure that Lubavitcher rebbe (the Rashbash) pur- stands atop the caves to this day. chased Beit Romano and established After the destruction of the Second Yeshivat Torat Emet there. Temple, Jews continued to live in And still Jews lived there, and they Of considerable significance for the Hebron and to pray at the Machpelah. prayed from that seventh step. community was the arrival of World War I, The British Mandate, In the two millennia since, what we see At the end of the 15th century and Ashkenazi Jews, including Lubavitch And Jordanian Control is a pattern of holding fast to the city, so into the early 16th century, Sephardi Hassidim. Maintaining a close rela- World War I brought hard times to that every time there has been enforced Jews who were expelled from Spain tionship with the Sephardi communi- Hebron and a severe decline in the exile, with only a remnant remaining, and then Portugal made their way to ty, they assisted in strengthening com- Jewish community. Once Britain there has been return and re-establish- Hebron. By this point the Ottomans munal institutions; an Ashkenazi syn- acquired the area at the end of the war, ment of community—community that had assumed control of the area. agogue was constructed near the as part of the Mandate for Palestine, during some periods flourished. Purchasing large tracts of land, the Avraham Avinu Synagogue. the community again began to flourish. The Byzantines, in the 6th century, Sephardi Jews established a vibrant The fortunes of the community Support for education was provided by made a church of the Machpelah; yet community that was sustained—in improved in the 19th century, with Zionist organizations, and in 1925 the Jews continued to live in Hebron, and spite of times of difficulty and periods considerable support from philanthro- there is evidence that a Jewish commu- marked by pogroms—for some 400 pists such as Sir Moses Montefiore. Continued on Page 65

26 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

just glanced at and threw in a folder. selling much more slowly than they They also have raised the threshold on would have two years ago, but a funny what they consider good credit scores. thing has also emerged in our Five Whereas a year ago anything over 700 Towns community. Street location and was considered good and 720 great, style have become the number one fac- today they are looking for over 720 and tors as to how fast your house will sell. even prefer a score of over 740. And not just factors such as being on a Mortgaging In The Twilight Zone restructuring and moving forward. Does that mean that if your score is quiet street or being able to walk to shul Yes, that is what I call this year: The glass is not empty; it is not even less, you will not qualify for a mort- or to the train, but, more specifically, mortgaging in the twilight zone. This is half empty. Yes, there are many prob- gage? No, but you will not get the best buyers are willing to go all out for cer- a time when all the old habits and lems and upheavals going on, but there rate, since they have now incorporated tain streets where they have many ideas of getting a mortgage have flown are also positive things going on which add-ons based on your credit score. So friends or where they think the people out the window. I am now getting calls show that the glass is half full. if your score is less than 720, you living on that street will make for new from people who would never before Mortgaging has changed in that the might get an interest rate 1/8 to 1/2 friends for themselves or their children. have questioned whether they could old stated or no-income programs have percentage point higher, depending on For instance, a house selling get a mortgage, asking me what kind of mostly been abolished; but mostly is the bank. If your score is in the 600s, between Peninsula Boulevard and borrowers the banks are approving and West Broadway, especially in the ABC whether they will fit into the new blocks, or the academy area, or the parameters. Even more bizarre, I am area behind the Island Shul, or certain also getting calls from people asking if parts of Lawrence—to name but a the banks are lending at all, or if you It is unusual today to hear of buyers few—will still command many buyers are only able to buy if you have cash. running to see it. Of course, today’s After living the last several months buyer also wants to see that the house in the twilight zone of Wall Street fias- in a bidding war for a house, is renovated and priced correctly, and cos, bank collapses, and the consistent it is unusual today to hear of buyers in moaning and groaning of the media a bidding war for a house, even if it is telling us that everything is imploding even if it is a fabulous house. a fabulous house in the right location in the United States, it is a wonder at the right price. that anyone bothers to get up in the So yes, we are living in the twilight morning. From the minute you get out zone, but there are also some very bright of bed until the time you go to sleep, the operative word, since they have not the add-ons would continue on a slid- and happening things going on here— all you hear on the many news stations disappeared. Certain banks are still ing scale. Although this system is more and we like to get up in the morning. O is what has fallen, what is about to fall, offering them—at interest rates, of rigid than it was previously, as long as and what will fall if someone does not course, that are about 2–3 percentage you can show enough income and Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker (Anessa V Cohen do something soon, as well as count- points higher than standard mort- assets to repay the mortgage and have Realty) and a licensed N.Y.S. mortgage broker less scenarios of who is to blame. I gages, with 25%–30% down payments. a little bit left over, mortgages are still (A.C. Action Mortgage Corp.) with over 20 years don’t think any of them have any time Conventional mortgages have not real- available, and many buyers are taking of experience, offering full-service residential and commercial real-estate services in the Five Towns left over to talk about things that are ly changed that much, except that now advantage of them and purchasing and throughout the tri-state area. She can be working—the houses that are being the lenders are really scrutinizing the homes at much more stable pricing. reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are encouraged to sold, the people who are getting mort- income and asset documentation that The real-estate market here has send questions or comments to gages, and the companies that are they have always asked for but usually changed somewhat in that things are [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 27 am. He’s very focused and doesn’t get success in life. distracted, unlike me. If I’m trying to The fact that you have a diagnosis sort through the kids’ messy toys, and and can easily find books about it’s taking me forever, he can shoo me women with ADD is to your advantage. away and like magic get the job done, At least you can understand what it is one, two, three. I wouldn’t mind, if it about your “hardwiring” that is causing didn’t come with insults and put-downs. you to behave the way you do. Some Somewhere along the way, that cute, people don’t even have that much to go Dear Esther, ance, I was a failure. charming kid has lost her confidence. I on, and are therefore totally perplexed. I’m 28 years old. It’s hard to know I seem to recall that there were feel so defeated and like a total failure. where to begin, because life has times that medication came up for To make matters even worse, I find always been a fierce struggle for me. discussion. But my parents are myself pulling away from family and But I’ll quickly tell you about my against most medications. They don’t friends. I’m tired of making excuses for He’ll suddenly grab the background and then talk about my even like taking aspirin for a not doing what’s expected of me, not present problem. headache, so that conversation never returning calls on time, and just not paperwork away from O.K., so I’m ADD. I’ve always had a became too serious. being what everyone expects me to be. difficult time in school, and in general Now I’m married and my husband I’m feeling so overwhelmed; my found staying on task a challenge. doesn’t seem to be as patient or easily marriage seems to be going down the me and quickly do it School could have been a complete disarmed as other people in my life toilet; and I don’t even know where to disaster, but at least I was always fun were. To be honest, the house is a begin to take back my life. Is there any himself, to show me to be around and I had many friends. mess. Errands get neglected, and I feel help for someone like me? Is there any My grades in school were not good; like I’m always a few steps behind way that a marriage can survive an what a loser I am. even with the help of many tutors, I everyone else. With two children and a ADD wife with a focused husband? did poorly. My parents were not happy very particular husband, I’m over- Where do I begin? whenever they got a call from a whelmed. Sometimes my life feels so “Caren” teacher or saw my report cards, but at unmanageable that I just want to crawl There are many pieces to your puz- least they had my older brother to kvell into bed and give up. The piles of bills Dear Caren, zle that can be worked on in order to over. He was the superstar of the fam- and lists upon lists upon lists make me From your brief letter, you’ve managed greatly improve the quality of your life. ily and gave them a lot of nachas. nauseous. My life just seems to to encapsulate the pain and struggles The first goal would be to learn how to Without trying to sound immodest, become more complicated with each that most people with ADD go through. accept your diagnosis, without self- I was a cute kid and I was always able passing day, and I find myself feeling Though there are many types of ADD judgment but rather with tenderness. to charm my way out of most situa- drained and depressed. and certainly various degrees of this con- It’s not your fault, you did nothing to tions that could have turned disas- Honestly, my husband, “Eli,” is not dition, what you describe is quite typical deserve this condition, and it certainly trous, and I guess that’s how I always much of a help. He badgers me, can’t of what many individuals, men and doesn’t make you any less valuable as managed to disarm my parents, teach- seem to understand why I’m not doing women, have to live with, day in, day out. an individual than anyone else. I have ers, and most people. It could have my share of the work within our mar- My heart goes out to you, because no doubt that you have your own very been very easy for me to think I was riage, and can be very rude and insulting I understand what a serious chal- special talents and uniqueness, and stupid. But on some level I knew that to me. I could be working on something, lenge you have. I will try to present you need to treasure and respect who I wasn’t. I always understood ideas and he’ll suddenly walk over, grab the you with some kind of framework to you are. This important message is easily and had a quick sense of paperwork away from me, and quickly help you get started on your journey directed just as strongly to your hus- humor. But when it came to perform- do it himself, to show me what a loser I toward a better self-image and more band. Eli has to understand that when

28 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES you aren’t able to accomplish what he considers to be simple, it isn’t person- al, you aren’t trying to upset him, and you’re doing the best that you can. Treating you in a dismissive fashion is just not acceptable. You both need to redefine the image that each of you have of yourself and your partnership. It’s not typical, and your alliance must therefore reflect a special level of understanding and compassion. It’s vital that you both learn how to let go of feelings of anger and frustration. Working through these issues often needs to happen in a therapist’s office, with a trained professional. You did touch on the issue of med- ication and explained why it never went anywhere. It’s important that you know that medication is enormously helpful for people with ADD. There are so many different types of medication available to treat this condition, so ulti- mately most people can find something that works for them. If you have taken the message from your parents that medication is not a good thing, you can even explore natural alternatives that are available. However, whether you like it or not, medication can make an enormous difference in your life. The next area to tackle is the nuts and bolts of your daily life. You may need to cut back on activities. Just because your neighbor works, has company every Shabbos, and turns out spotless children, doesn’t mean that you should feel any pressure to do the same. Maybe pulling off a four-course Shabbos meal is too much for you to handle, and the prospect of doing so can send you into a tailspin. Rather than pull back completely from your friends, you may decide to invite over a few couples for Kiddush only, or maybe just for dessert once in a while. Pace yourself according to what you feel you can reasonably handle. If you receive a phone call from a friend or acquaintance asking you to volunteer your time to help with a very important event, but you know that you can’t possibly take on one more thing at the moment, learn how to respectfully say “no.” Don’t feel embarrassed. Simply say that at the moment your plate is full, but they can feel free to try again at a later date. When you tackle tasks, such as going through a stack of papers on your kitchen counter, always divide up the task. Don’t even think about doing it all in one sitting. Perhaps decide that if you can go through five papers in that sitting, it will be a wonderful accomplishment, and you will pick it up again, hopefully, later in the day and handle another five. These tips can certainly help you and Eli begin to turn things around. Most important, however, is that both of you validate your strengths, go easy on your weaknesses, and accept the fact that you may not be able to run a conventional household or even have a typical home life—but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be filled with happi- ness and success. Esther

Esther Mann, LMSW, has a private practice in Lawrence. Esther is a psychotherapist and life coach and can be reached at 516-314-2295 or [email protected]. She works with individu- als, couples, premarital couples, and families. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 29 30 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Who Is That?

A certain magazine has been arriv- Nevertheless, much of the text is about ing at my house every week for longer performers—mainly, Hollywood stars. than I can remember. Reading it from And that’s where the problem lies. As cover to cover doesn’t exactly provide time passes, I recognize fewer and me with an educational odyssey, fewer of today’s celebrities. Last year I because the publication isn’t National recognized only half of the people on Geographic by any stretch of the imag- ination. But it does give me pleasure and helps me to unwind. I enjoy it— that is to say, I once enjoyed it. As time passes, I For purposes of security (mine) I’ll refer to the magazine as Persons. I’m recognize fewer and not looking for a lawsuit. In any case, the magazine in question contains pic- fewer of today’s tures of fashionable gowns created by world-famous designers, which would celebrities. be of interest to most females. It also provides information on the loves, lives, and (sometimes) heroics of celebrities. In addition to reporting on the pages of the magazine. The rest of actors and actresses, the magazine pro- the stories, as well as the photos, were vides information about musicians, lost on me. rock stars, dancers, politicians, and Sadly, the situation continues to dete- famous businesspeople. But it’s the riorate. I am currently at the point human-interest stories about ordinary, where I recognize even fewer than half everyday folks that I love most. the people in this auspicious publica- The publication is aptly named. The tion. New crops of superstars appear on one-word title, Persons, makes no dis- the entertainment scene with increasing tinction between celebrity and non- celebrity. The term includes everyone. Continued on Page 32

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 31 THAT’S THE WAY IT IS! avoid the local library and buy soft- the stories are ever more gruesome. scene with an offer of help. I looked Continued from Page 31 covered books, it would still cost Recently one daughter shared the around surreptitiously and saw my other much less per written word than news of all the firings going on at the daughters bobbing their heads in under- frequency, and, to me, they all look Persons magazine. This time, I mean company she works for. We all sat and standing. Apparently I was the only one alike. The females are inevitably blonde, it. I am not renewing. listened attentively as she told the sad in the dark. I had no idea who H.R. was, and the males are always dark-haired There, that was easy. What is not so saga of what transpired when one of her nor did I recognize I.T. or O.P. types with incredible good looks. Even easy is the fact that new performers co-workers was let go. Suddenly, it was Since this was a narrative, and not a the names sound similar to me. I simply and celebrities are not the only issue in as though I was reading a book and book, there were no earlier pages to can’t keep them straight. my life. I’m having a problem lately failed to recognize the name of a char- scan. And it wasn’t a magazine, so I Of course there are some old stand- with certain slang-like terminology. acter. This happens to me on occa- couldn’t simply skip the story. I had no bys that are familiar. Those would be The problem arises mainly when I’m sion—especially when I’m in the middle choice but to ask. I hated to do it, the performers of screen and stage with my children. of reading a book and have to put it because, although I was with my own from years past. The problem is that Last week, as we’ve been doing one down for a few days. Often, when I pick loving offspring, I didn’t relish the most of them are old! So, more often prospect of acknowledging that I was than not, what I’m reading amounts to “losing it.” After all, everyone else nothing more than lengthy obituaries, seemed to remember who these ini- as one by one they pass away. It’s tials referred to. But I did not! So I depressing, and I no longer see any Apparently I was the only one in took the plunge. point in reading the magazine. “I’m sorry, but who did you say H.R. For a long time I’ve been promising was? And I also don’t remember who myself that I will not renew my sub- the dark. I had no idea who H.R. I.T. or O.P. are,” I said. To their credit, scription when it expires. But each year and my everlasting relief, not a single when the renewal notice arrives, I cave. daughter laughed or even snickered. Time and again, against my better judg- was, nor did I recognize I.T. or O.P. Even more rewarding was that the ment, I sign up for another year. The daughter telling the tale apologized. idiocy here is that I’m getting less and “Oh, I’m sorry, Ma. ‘H.R.’ is human less enjoyment out of it, and paying resources, ‘I.T.’ is information technol- more and more money. The publication day each month for a while, my daugh- the book up again I will see the name of ogy, and ‘O.P.’ is outplacement. I to which I refer is not cheap. Then ters and I got together for brunch. No a character and will have totally forgot- should have explained.” again, what is these days? husbands, no children—just us girls, a ten who he or she is. At that point, I Whew! What a relief. For a minute Recently I made some practical cal- mother and her daughters. What could scan through previously read pages to there I was afraid my once-a-month culations. Factoring in the cost of the be better? I’ll tell you what could be see if I can pick up the thread of the tale get-together with my daughters was in magazine and counting the number of better. It would be better if I under- and simultaneously reacquaint myself jeopardy. I seriously considered letting features I actually read each week, I stood everything they were saying. But with some of the book’s characters. our rendezvous go the way of Persons discovered that the cost to me is I don’t—at least not when they’re talk- In listening to the telling of my magazine. After all, if I don’t know approximately $4 for each story. ing shop. And since all of them are daughter’s tale, I was experiencing the what’s going on, what would be the Keeping in mind that many of these either currently out in the workforce or same problem. She was talking about point of continuing to meet? O stories are only one page in length, have once been out there, there are how H.R. was called in, and that he said this is what I call seriously expensive. often little snippets about what goes on this or did that. And then she slipped in Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with The rate at which I turn pages often at work that they wish to share. And something about I.T. and eventually Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at creates a significant draft. Even if I given the current economic climate, mentioned that O.P. came onto the [email protected] or 516-902-3733.

32 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Religious differences between partners: Men, 13% Women, 16% Why Most Marriages Can Work Domestic violence: Men, 6% Women, 37% First Aid Kit For Jewish Marriages, share some deeply rooted negative pat- A 1995 statewide survey in Utah, Other: Part 3 terns? Was it a question of personality for example, examining why mar- Men, 17% Women, 28% B Y RABBI DANIEL differences? Did they have trouble riages end in divorce, found that the The table clearly reveals what SCHONBUCH, M.A. managing their anger? lack of commitment to the relation- Utahns who have experienced divorce Mordechai and Chani were also ship was the top reason for the grow- perceive: that the lack of commitment Mordechai, 36, and Chani, 35, scared, because some of their life- ing phenomenon. was the number one contributing fac- were married for six years and came time friends were also experiencing Specifically, the Utah Marriage tor to their divorces. Commitment to ask me for advice on how to save similar difficulties in their mar- Survey asked Utahns who had been often involves making one’s partner their relationship. They seemed to riages, and two of them had gotten divorced to answer the following: and relationship a priority, investing in have everything going for them. They divorced in the previous year. They “There are many reasons why mar- the marriage, and having a long-term were working professionals, success- wanted to know if they were head- riages fail. I’m going to read a list of view of the relationship. That’s why ful, and upwardly mobile. They ing in the same direction and if possible reasons. Looking back at your the most important issue in marriage shared many common factors: they there was anything they could do to most recent divorce, tell me whether needs to be the couple’s focus on the had similar religious beliefs and intel- sustain their marriage. or not each factor was a major contrib- quality of their relationship. ligence levels, and they were both Before I began to advise them on utor to your divorce. You can say ‘yes’ Couples like Mordechai and Chani pleasantly extroverted. ways to improve their marriage, I or ‘no’ to each factor.” are a perfect example of a relationship Yet, soon after marriage, it was asked them to draw an imaginary cir- The following responses show the that had migrated onto the back burn- apparent that Mordechai and Chani cle in the middle of the room, to rep- percentages of those respondents who er. And, as I predicted, after several didn’t get along very well. Little resent their relationship. I then asked answered “yes” to each factor that weeks of counseling, it became appar- things—like the cleanliness of the them to take their chairs and sit in they felt was a major contributor to ent that there was nothing fundamen- house, or who made dinner—became the middle of the circle if they were their divorce: tally wrong with this young couple. mountain-sized issues that were often committed to their relationship. If Lack of commitment: Neither was particularly high on blown out of proportion. The quality of they weren’t able to sit in the circle Men, 87% Women, 79% “control.” Neither of them had a his- their relationship was going downhill together, then, I believed, their mar- Too much conflict and arguing: tory of serious emotional illness. And and their marriage was in crisis. Only riage would have little chance of suc- Men, 48% Women, 58% both came from parents who were six months had passed since their ceeding. I also made it clear to them Infidelity or extramarital affairs: happily married. Mordechai and chuppah and they were beginning to that, statistically, the overwhelming Men, 47% Women, 56% Chani needed to learn more about feel that they were unequipped to deal majority of failed marriages (between Getting married too young: how to negotiate their emotions, how with each other’s emotional needs. two emotionally healthy individuals) Men, 39% Women, 43% to communicate in a more effective Instead, they tended to withdraw from end because couples are having trou- Financial problems way, and how to begin to recommit to one another and were avoiding taking ble building and staying committed to or economic hardship: their relationship. the obvious step of working together to their overall relationship. Many of Men, 31% Women, 35% So if you’re concerned about divorce solve their issues. the negative statistics appearing Lack of support from family members: and looking for real growth in your On the outside, they seemed to have about marriage boil down to the Men, 21% Women, 20% marriage, you’ll need to plant your everything going for them, yet now prevalence of couples losing interest Little or no helpful emotional roots and ask yourselves the they had little to show for it. What was in developing the quality of their premarital education: causing their marital stress? Did they marriage. Men, 19% Women, 29% Continued on Page 35

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 33 yes, that image has remained in our Bais Yaakovs are suffering more and minds long after we have passed it by. more each day. This is not meant to It doesn’t disappear so quickly. belittle the good that these rebbes are I’m just a regular person; what I say accomplishing for K’lal Yisrael. Their or think is not up for discussion. You, leadership and wise counsel are crucial on the other hand, have built up quite for large segments of Yidden, and their a following for yourself, and I believe limud Torah and harbatzas Torah are that now is the time for you to utilize zechusim for us all. Be that as it may, Ask The OU an avid reader and I do enjoy your your capabilities to get those signs the principle of “aniyei ircha kodmim” Dear Editor, paper, despite it not agreeing fully with down. The reason you have received (the poor of your own city come first) Re: “Bean Boozled? New Type Of my lifestyle, I will indulge you with the calls and e-mail correspondence ask- has got to apply. Hechsher May Be Needed” (5TJT, attention you are craving. ing that you protest and appeal to who- In this economic crisis, not a week November 21): By now you must be aware that you ever is responsible for the sign is that goes by that I don’t hear about another Ghandi said, “There are limits to self- missed the main poster displayed. Yes, we have come to rely on you as the local resident who has lost his job or indulgence, none to restraint.” I think there is a small one at the traffic light. voice of our community. whose home has to go up for sale the newspaper should keep this quote in Yes, it is not even lit up at night, so If you wish, you can stand by idly. But because the mortgage payments can’t mind when entering the halachic realm without searching for it, it wouldn’t be know that your paper is the voice of the be met. If you would like your son to of kashrus. Hypotheticals have served noticed. And yes, driving around the town and, like it or not, you, as the 5TJT experience a rebbe’s tisch, by all means, the Jews well throughout the centuries, Five Towns area we are exposed to editor, can be a voice of the people. take the effort and go to Boro Park to but not in the realm of halachah. The indecent pictures here and there (such All the best! attend one yourself. If you’re hosting a OU is the accepted standard of kashrus as certain bus ads). S. Schreiber rebbe for the berachah it will bring you throughout the world. I think more It could be that you are a really good and your family, please take into restraint is needed when challenging driver, one who always keeps his eyes Support Our Community First account the many berachos Hashem the minds of the OU within the halachic on the road, except when stopping at Dear Editor, will bestow upon you for anonymously foray. Why not contact the poskim at the traffic lights. Each week as I read about various supporting your neighbors in need. OU before entering into halachic mus- My little seven-year-old was actually chassidishe rebbes visiting the Five My husband recently attended a ings? Surely, they must have some opin- the one who pointed out the big signs Towns, I wonder anew how intelligent meeting in which the principal of our ions on when and when not to make a to me. Yes, as the adults are driving and generous people can have their children’s school bemoaned how the berachah on a certain food—or is that safely, looking straight ahead so as to priorities misplaced. When a rebbe vis- school has lost over $300,000 in tuition above their realm? protect their passengers, the little ones its a community, one of the benefits he this year from families who have lost Joseph Steven have their eyes glued to the windows, acquires is the guarantee of a large their jobs. Payrolls are not being met. exploring the world around them. If an sum of money, either from a select Hardworking rebbeim and moros are A Bigger Sign Of The Times innocent Jewish kid were (G-d forbid) group of donors or, as is often the case, begging for their paychecks to be deliv- Dear Editor, molested in the streets, would you “just from the community at large, whose ered on time. There are families in our Re: “Sign of the Times” (Heard in be better off leaving the situation members will likely set up appoint- midst who cannot put food on their the Bagel Store, November 21): alone”? I sure hope not. Well, here ments with him for berachos. tables for Shabbos. Does it seem appro- With all due respect, I believe that amidst our very own streets it is hap- What I can’t understand is how a priate, in the face of these close-to-home the establishment which has posted pening every few moments. My kids— Litvishe community like ours can guar- difficult situations, that so many com- the billboard is not the only business and even myself!—and many religious antee thousands (if not millions) of dol- munity funds are funneled elsewhere? who is seeking attention. Your article is people have been the victims of spiritu- lars to a community, be it Nikolsberg, begging for attention, and since I am al molestation. We are all human and, Skver, or Viznitz, while our yeshivos and Continued on Page 38

34 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Marriages Can Work Continued from Page 33 following questions: 1. Do I view building the relation- ship as a central principle of my mar- riage? 2. Do I set aside time each day to nurture my relationship? 3. Do I look for the good qualities in my spouse? 4. Do I appreciate the small, kind acts my spouse does for me on a daily basis? 5. Do I spend time thinking about the good moments, and limit time and energy spent focusing on the bad ones? Most couples who evaluate their progress find that the biggest hole in their marriage is the fact that they don’t spend time and effort building their relationship. They allow them- selves to become complacent. Com- placency in marriage allows emotional weeds to grow out of control. It spreads, silently and invisibly, and by the time you realize what is happening, much damage has been done. It is so easy to fall into a daily routine, fueled by responsibilities, so people for- get what relationships are all about. With so much to do each day, and with- out the need to plan to tune into each other, the relationship tends to be pushed to the back, treated as some- thing that doesn’t need to be attended to and left to just bumble along. Often we fail to make time for our spouse. Or when we do, it often merely consists of stolen moments at the end of a long, hard day, when we lack the energy to show how much we truly love and appreciate each other, and we are just too tired to have any fun. When spouses begin to feel neglect- ed, they often start by making a subtle plea—a gentle reminder that they feel they aren’t important any more, and that they feel unloved and underval- ued. Yet, all it takes is those small ges- tures—nothing fancy—just small and thoughtful little gestures that show love, respect, and affection for each other. Such gestures are an indication that a husband or wife still appreciates their marriage, their relationship, and the life they have together. If you want to save your marriage, or make a good marriage great, my advice is to make your relationship with your spouse your top priority. Let them see that they are valuable and precious and that, above all, their feelings come first. Compliments should be regular, not a thing of the past or of just occa- sional mention, and not something that you believe is no longer required. Make sure your spouse knows that you appreciate them, respect them, love them, and admire them; and, above all, make sure they know that you want to be with them forever. O Next week: Part 4—Investing In Your Relationship

Rabbi Daniel Schonbuch, M.A., is the executive director of Shalom Task Force and the author of an upcoming book about marriage called First Aid Kit for Jewish Marriages. He maintains a practice in family counseling and is a popular lecturer at the SHALOM Workshop for engaged couples. To register for the workshop, visit www.shalomworkshop.org. You can e-mail questions to him at [email protected]. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 35 eous or wicked. But how are we to “What place would the entire Torah explain Eisav’s gravitation to evil even have? And by what measure of justice before he was born? would G-d punish the wicked and The Lubavitcher Rebbe explains reward the righteous?” Yet Iyov is that the fact that Eisav was naturally right—G-d does indeed create “right- inclined toward idolatry was not, in eous people” and “wicked people” in and of itself, a negative thing. It meant the sense that while certain souls enjoy that his ordained mission in life was a life wholly devoted to developing the conquest of evil rather than the what is good and holy in G-d’s world, From The Chassidic Masters cultivation of good. other souls must struggle against nega- Yaakov and Eisav are the prototypes tive traits and ominous perversions for two types of souls, each with a dis- implanted within them in order to elic- Yaakov And Eisav tinct role to play in the fulfillment of it that special delight that can come the Divine purpose in creation. only from the conquest of evil. Rambam (Maimonides) calls these This, says the Lubavitcher Rebbe, is In many respects, the Torah’s and can be said to belong to his two spiritual types “the perfectly the deeper significance of Rashi’s com- account of Yitzchak’s family reads like father’s imperfect past (Avraham was pious” and “the one who conquers his mentary on the opening words of our a replay of Avraham’s. Many years of born into a family of idolaters and is inclinations”; Rabbi Schneur Zalman parashah. Citing the verse, “And these childlessness are followed by the birth even described as having himself wor- refers to them as the “tzaddik” and the are the generations of Yitzchak,” Rashi of two sons—the elder one wicked and shipped idols in his youth), while “beinoni.” Humanity is divided into comments: “Yaakov and Eisav who are the younger one righteous. Yitzchak Yitzchak was conceived after Avraham these two types, writes Rabbi Schneur mentioned in the parashah.” The sim- favors the elder son, Eisav, much as had attained the perfection signified Zalman in his Tanya, because “there ple meaning of this commentary is that Avraham is sympathetic toward his by his name-change and circumcision. are two kinds of gratification before the word “toledos” (“generations”) can elder son, Yishmael; while Rivkah, like On the other hand, Eisav and G-d. The first is generated by the also refer to a person’s deeds and Sarah, perseveres in her efforts to Yaakov were twins, born of the same good achieved by the perfectly right- achievements (cf. Rashi’s commentary ensure that the younger, righteous son righteous mother and raised in the eous. But G-d also delights in the on Bereishis 6:9); Rashi is telling us is recognized as the true heir of same holy environment. Their father, conquest of evil which is still at its that here the word toledos is to be Avraham and the sole progenitor of the Yitzchak, was “a burnt-offering with- strongest and most powerful in the understood in its literal sense—the “great nation” which G-d promised to out blemish” who was circumcised on heart, through the efforts of the ordi- children of Yitzchak, though these are establish from his seed. the eighth day of his life and who nary, unperfected individual.” named only further on in the parashah. There is, however, a significant dif- never set foot outside of the Holy Thus Rabbi Schneur Zalman On a deeper level, says the Rebbe, ference between the two sets of Land. Unlike his father, he had no explains the Talmud passage which Rashi is addressing the question: brothers. idolatrous past and no “pre-Yitzchak” cites Iyov as crying out to G-d: “Master How does an “Eisav” come to be a Yishmael and Yitzchak were born of period in his life. So where did Eisav’s of the Universe! You have created right- descendant of Yitzchak and Rivkah? two different mothers: Yishmael was “evil genes” come from? eous people, and You have created How do two perfectly righteous indi- the son of Hagar, a former Egyptian Even more puzzling is the fact that wicked people!” The actual righteous- viduals produce an offspring who is princess still attached to her pagan Eisav’s wickedness seems predestined ness or wickedness of a person is not evil from birth? ways, while Yitzchak was the son of the from the womb. If Eisav had turned predetermined by G-d—in the words of So Rashi tells us: the “generations righteous Sarah. Furthermore, bad later in life, we might attribute this Rambam, free choice is “a fundamental of Yitzchak” are the “Yaakov and Eisav Yishmael was born when Avraham was to the fact that every man is given principle and a pillar of the Torah and who are mentioned in the parashah.” still Avram and still uncircumcised, absolute freedom of choice to be right- its commandments,” without which The wicked Eisav we know is not a

36 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES product of Yitzchak but the result of preference for the present world. Eisav’s own failure to overpower his Yaakov sees perfection as the only negative inclinations. The Eisav of the desirable state of man, while Eisav parashah—Eisav as viewed from the sees the struggle with imperfection as perspective of Torah, where everything desirable in and of itself. is seen in its innermost and truest Yet both Yaakov and Eisav recognize light—is not evil, but the instrument the necessity for both of the “two of conquest over evil. The Eisav of the worlds,” for the process and its out- parashah is the purveyor of the “second come. The “perfectly pious” man also delight” and an indispensable element requires the material world as the vehi- of the purpose of life on earth. cle that leads to ultimate perfection. In this also lies the deeper mean- And the “conqueror” also sees perfec- ing of the Midrash that describes tion as the goal to which his efforts Yaakov and Eisav fighting in the lead. For although his purpose in life is womb “over the inheritance of the defined by the process itself, a process, two worlds” (i.e., the material world by definition, must have a goal. and the World to Come). This would So this is their “fight.” Yaakov and seem to be one area in which they Eisav each lay claim to both worlds would have no quarrel: the Eisav we as part of their life’s endeavor. But know desires the materialism of the their priorities are reversed. To the physical world and shuns everything Yaakovs of the world, the material that is G-dly and spiritual, while the world is but a tool, a means to an reverse is true of Yaakov. So what end. To its Eisavs, man’s material were they fighting over? involvements and the struggles they Explains the Rebbe: The World to entail are what life is all about. A Come is not a reality that is discon- futuristic vision of perfection is nec- nected from our present existence. essary, but only as a reference point Rather, it is the result of our present- that provides coherence and direc- day efforts in dealing with and perfect- tion to the “real” business of life. ing the material world. The world of The tension between them over Mashiach is the culmination of all pos- their differing visions of the “two itive achievements of history, the era in worlds” is not a negative thing. It is which the cosmic yield of mankind’s the result of two world views—both every good deed will come to light. positive and necessary, both indis- In other words, our present world is pensable components of man’s mis- the means, and the World to Come is sion in life. O the goal. This is the deeper signifi- cance of Yaakov’s claim on the World Based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher to Come, and Eisav’s (and here we Rebbe; adapted by Yanki Tauber. Courtesy of MeaningfulLife.com via Chabad.org. Find more speak of the “Torah’s Eisav,” the right- Torah articles for the whole family at eous conqueror of his inclinations) www.chabad.org/parshah.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 37 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Indeed, don’t we all? Presidential candi- Continued from Page 34 date George W. Bush promised to move the U.S. embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv This situation must be stopped, and to Jerusalem; we are still waiting. And so the only way to do it is for our commu- I am not overly concerned when Obama nity to unite. The rabbanim of our shuls first says that Jerusalem must remain must band together in support of our undivided and subsequently states that community schools and organizations. the city’s future should be decided by If the rabbanim refused to host these Israel-Arab negotiations. rebbes in their shuls, the message would Neither am I bothered that under be loud and clear. Support of our own certain circumstances Obama would mosdos should and does come first. speak directly with President (Name Withheld) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran. Woodmere Under President Bush, the United States has negotiated directly with Pray For Obama North Korea, perhaps the most evil Dear Editor, regime on earth. Why blame Obama Chava Willig Levy assesses Barack for suggesting that the same may be Obama and feels a sense of “impend- possible with Iran? ing doom” (“Full Disclosure,” 5TJT, If we want to play the tally game with October 31). She buttresses her fears flip-flops, one website counts 44 of by accusing him of moving from “his them by John McCain! Two examples: leftist Hyde Park base to more centrist In 1999 he opposed overturning Roe v. circles,” at the same time flip-flopping Wade; during his campaign, he on a handful of significant issues. endorsed overturning Roe. And while Although I voted for John McCain, I during the campaign he chided Obama felt I was making a choice between two for the latter’s willingness to meet the qualified candidates, and I have no leaders of rogue states, McCain himself problem welcoming Senator Obama to endorsed Colin Powell’s meeting with the White House. I believe that we Syria’s Bashar Assad in 2003. We are have achieved a historic moment for humans; we change our minds. America. Moreover, I disagree that In the weeks since his election, Obama has ever been a “leftist.” Obama has taken great strides to Liberal, yes; leftist, no. His positions encourage bipartisanship and cama- have always been well within the mid- raderie in his team. His willingness to dle-of-the-road political spectrum trav- consider former rivals for important eled by most successful politicians. administration positions bodes well for As for Obama’s apparent flip-flop- his upcoming presidency. Let us all ping, Levy is surely nitpicking. The fact pray for his success. is that every presidential candidate Avi Goldstein, changes positions from time to time. Far Rockaway

38 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Yitzchak dug again the wells of water… and he called their names after the names by which his father had called them (Bereishis 26:18) Behold the humility of Yitzchak.A person acquires a house and gives it a name; then his son comes, adds a new part to it, and calls it by a different name. Not so Yitzchak: all the wells which Avraham dug and named, although they were entirely stopped by the Philistines, when Yitzchak redug them a second time he did not give them new names, but rein- stated the names given them by his father. And what reward did he receive for this? The other Patriarchs had their names changed:Avraham was first called Abram and later Avraham;Yaakov was initial- ly called Yaakov and subse- quently given the name Israel.Yitzchak, however, was given the name “Yitzchak” from G-d even before his birth, and his name was not changed for all generations. (Midrash HaGadol)

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 39 which Yitzchak appears. In compari- Unearthing the mystery. Opening son, he seems to get very little “cover- up this somewhat cryptic passage is age.” The only parashah in which he the Rabbeinu Bechaye. He explains is extensively discussed is Toledos, the issue of the wells on two levels, and even here he does not seem to each centering on the same basic idea. take center stage (l’havdil) in the story line. The beginning of the parashah outlines the struggle of Yitzchak and his wife, Rivkah, to have Mishnas Chayim children, as well as their joint The only, relatively brief, attempts to avoid Avimelech, the king of Gerar. The latter section of the section that highlights parashah deals primarily with the Yitzchak exclusively is On The Parashah competition between Yaakov and Eisav to secure Yitzchak’s blessing. the depiction of Lech Lecha, Parashas Vayeira, and Just about the only, relatively brief, Kindly take a moment to study Mishnas Chayim in the merit of Chayim ben Yosef, a’h, a fellow Parashas Chayei Sarah, the narrative section that highlights Yitzchak Yitzchak’s well-digging Jew who passed away with no relatives to arrange focuses primarily on Avraham. Yaakov exclusively is the depiction of Torah study on behalf of his neshamah. receives similar treatment: In a good Yitzchak’s well-digging activities, the activities, portion of this week’s parashah of significance of which appears elusive. The Good Old Days Toledos, as well as Vayeitzei and What exactly is going on here? Shortchanged? Chas v’shalom! Vayishlach, Yaakov plays a major role; Yitzchak receives comparatively little Taking a quick overview of the three and Vayeisheiv, Mikeitz, Vayigash, and treatment, and when he does get some, “And all of the wells that were dug Avos (Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov) Vayechi deal extensively with the it is for (seemingly) mere conventional in the days of Avraham were stopped in Sefer Bereishis, we notice some- actions of Yaakov’s sons and their activities such as digging wells! up by the P’lishtim, who filled them thing interesting. The Torah devotes effect on their father. As we shall see, however, this very with earth… And Yitzchak went back, significant space to discussing the What may initially seem strange is arrangement is itself a testimony to and re-dug the wells…which the life of Avraham Avinu: In Parashas the extent—or lack thereof—to Yitzchak’s special greatness. P’lishtim had sealed after Avraham’s death; and he gave them the same names that his father had given them” (Bereishis 26:15,18). Rabbeinu Bechaye points out that these verses highlight Yitzchak’s pur- pose in this endeavor, as well as his life mission. We see that Yitzchak was ded- icated to the continuation of his father Avraham’s legacy. He was so dedicated, in fact, that he made sure that the very wells his father had dug would contin- ue to function and he even called them by the same names that his father had called them. The Rabbeinu Bechaye under- stands this section of the wells on a deeper level, too. The Torah tells us (Bereishis 12:5) that when Avraham first entered Eretz Yisrael, he brought with him “the souls he had acquired in Charan.” Rashi explains the verse as referring to converts, whom Avraham had introduced to the belief in and service of the One true Hashem. The wells of our parashah, maintains the Rabbeinu Bechaye, are really a veiled reference to these souls. The “wells dug by Avraham” were actually the souls he had con- verted, having opened up their hearts to faith in Hashem. Unfortunately, after Avraham’s death, the wicked P’lishtim got their hands on these “wells,” and “stuffed them up”; i.e., they closed off their hearts to Hashem and enticed them away from the righteous path. This they achieved by “filling them with shmutz,” a refer- ence to heretical ideas. And so Yitzchak saw it as his duty to return these backsliding converts to the service of Hashem. And he suc- ceeded in “re-digging” the “wells” Avraham had opened and rekindling within them the love of Hashem that his father had imparted. Whether we interpret this passage according to its literal meaning (refer- ring to actual wells) or the hidden meaning (converts), we can now appreciate the significance of this par- ticular section. The Torah is highlight- ing the aspect of Yitzchak Avinu at which he excelled and to which he devoted his life: the preservation, for posterity, of his father’s ways. 40 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Far from the tree. R’ Yeruchem Olshin explains that it was this trait of Yitzchak’s that accounts for the seemingly minimal amount of space devoted to him in the Torah. The very fact that there is so little to report about Yitzchak speaks volumes about the greatness of this patriarch. He was not concerned with making his own mark or with his own personal achievements. He perceived his life mission as safeguarding the hallowed teachings of his father, in order to ensure their safe transmission to the future generations of K’lal Yisrael. He was extremely concerned that not a hairsbreadth of his father’s ways should be lost or changed even one iota; and to this end he was more than willing to sacrifice his own lega- cy. Yitzchak’s selfless devotion to his father’s mesorah (traditions) is reflected in the Torah. Yitzchak does not receive too much mention of his own accord; when the focus is on him, he is seen engaged in activities pertaining to the perpetuation of his father’s legacy. The Mishnah in Sotah (9:15) describes the pathetic spiritual condi- tions that will exist in the era imme- diately preceding Mashiach. The state of affairs described there stands in great contrast to the noble behav- ior of Yitzchak Avinu: “Chutzpah will be practiced in abundance… Youths will heap shame upon the elderly, and the elderly will have to stand in hom- age before the youth. Sons will degrade their fathers, daughters will rebel against their mothers… A per- son’s family will become his ene- mies… Sons will feel no shame before their parents.” Specifically in an era when morals have been turned upside down— when, to a large, unfortunate extent, even well-meaning parents have lost sway over their children—it is worth- while to go back to our roots. The Torah provides a model of the regard one should feel toward his forebears and the urgent need to safeguard their sacred, time-honored ways. O

Mishnas Chayim is brought to you by Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah, a network of Torah scholars dedicated to bringing the merits of Mishnah study to the greater Jewish public. Encompassing Mishnah, Gemara, and a variety of other s ervices, Chevrah Lomdei Mishnah primarily assists mourners interested in acquiring the merit of Torah study for their loved ones. They can be contacted at 732-364-7029 or at www.societyformishnahstudy.org.

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 41 42 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 43 er person of Jewish descent will be the enough. Yet Lisa still wished to retain donor. Ezer Mizion, the largest Jewish the traditional birthday party. And just bone marrow registry, has saved hun- then the phone rang… dreds of lives across the globe. “I’m calling from Ezer Mizion’s Genetic testing is expensive. By International Jewish Bone Marrow making GoodSearch your search Registry. We’d like to introduce you to engine, choosing Ezer Mizion as your the lifesaving efforts of our organiza- GoodSearch For Ezer Mizion search that you are getting. favorite charity, and making your tion. For many cancer patients, a bone Your hand makes its way toward Ezer Mizion, the International friends and co-workers aware of this marrow transplant is their sole chance your checkbook. Midway it begins to Jewish Bone Marrow Registry, has test- unique opportunity, you can help save of survival. It is essential that the reg- slow down… “But I need…my wife ed GoodSearch over the past few Jewish lives. istry be enlarged so that all requests needs…my kids need.” By the time pen months among its own staff members The Tamar, Jacob, and Judah for a genetic match can be meets check, the original amount has and is now ready to offer the opportu- Eisen Fund. “It’s not all about me,” answered…” shrunk considerably. “Yes, I realize so nity to the public. Utilizing says ten-year-old Tamar Eisen. In spite An idea was born. Lisa discussed many are in need, but…” GoodSearch means a click of the of their young ages, Tamar and her the possibilities with Tamar, who What if you were able to donate mouse will help save Jewish lives. younger siblings, Jacob and Judah, enthusiastically agreed to forgo most without costing you anything? Before entering your first search, spec- have absorbed the family values of giv- of her gifts to help sick children. Many “Impossible,” you say. “I learned in ify Ezer Mizion as your preferred char- ing to others. Several years ago, guests were invited to celebrate with math class that a plus on one side cre- ity to “GoodSearch” for at goodsearch Tamar’s mother, Lisa, was troubled Tamar and asked to contribute to Ezer ates a minus on the other side.” .com, or use the following URL as your about the flood of gifts that was sure to Mizion in lieu of a gift. The Tamar, Now, thanks to GoodSearch, the search page: http://www.goodsearch descend on her daughter at an upcom- Jacob, and Judah Eisen Fund was impossible is doable. When you use .com/?charityid=878265. ing birthday party. Celebrating the opened, and since that day when six- the GoodSearch website to search the For many patients diagnosed with milestone of her daughter’s sixth birth- year-old Tamar began to grow up, Internet, every search results in life-threatening diseases, the only day was important. However, a shower Jacob and Judah have joined their approximately one penny gained for chance of survival is a bone marrow of gifts would be counterproductive to older sister in celebrating their birth- the charity of your choice. The search- transplant. To be successful, donor the values she would like to instill in days by giving. The children are proud es are powered by the Yahoo! search and recipient must genetically match; her maturing offspring. Gifts from par- that their fund has enabled dozens of engine, so you know it is a quality for Jewish patients, this means anoth- ents and grandparents were quite potential donors to be genetically test- ed at Ezer Mizion’s registry so that the lives of their fellow Jews can be saved. “It’s more important to help other children than to get presents,” says Jacob. “I ask all my friends to donate to Ezer Mizion instead of bringing a gift.” Says young Judah, not wanting to be left out, “I hope all the sick children feel better.” For further information about Ezer Mizion, call 718-853-8400 or visit www.ezermizon.org.

Charity Through Sports By Brian Berkowitz With two successful seasons already under its belt, the Charity Through Sports Basketball League (formerly YIFH Basketball) is primed for its third and most successful season yet. The league was formed in 2007 under the leadership of Queens native Yehuda Shur. After having played in pickup games around Queens for years, Mr. Shur wanted to organize an official league—with teams, statistics, competitive play, and, most of all, a purpose. The league was originally promoted with the tagline “Come play ball with your friends,” and word spread to many members of the Forest Hills community, the area in which the games would take place. The goal of the league was to provide a compet- itive and fun basketball environ- ment—and to raise money for charita- ble purposes. The original site for the inaugural season was the Rego Park Jewish Center. The first season saw six teams, consisting of 45 players from the met- ropolitan area. The season played out better than expected, with high-inten- sity games and competitive play. Games took place one night a week, with two games played each night, as each team played ten games through- out the season. At the end of the championship game, the champi- onship team was presented with a check for $500 that was given to the charity of their choice. The first season was full of excitement and fun, and saw the launch of the league’s website, www.charitythroughsports.com. The website was filled with league and 44 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES player statistics, as well as game summaries written by the scorekeepers and players. Following this successful season, the CTS Basketball League raised its standards as it increased to 10 teams and approximately 80 players. The league also improved its facil- ity, moving from the smaller Rego Park Jewish Center gym to two official-size courts at the Forest Hills High School. As the league grew, the talent in the league got better. Top- notch Jewish ballplayers from the area began joining the league, raising the level of play to an ever-higher stan- dard. In addition, the organi- zation of the league improved, with two professional referees at each game, as opposed to one. With two gyms available at Forest Hills High School, the league would play four games each night, with two games going on simultaneous- ly. This provided a great envi- ronment for attendees, as they could walk back and forth between the gyms and watch both games. Personal and team statistics were updated weekly on the website, as well as league leader boards. In addition to weekly game sum- maries, game previews were added to the site leading up to each game. These additions further enhanced the excite- ment level for members of the league. However, the greatest improvement from Season 1 to Season 2 was the increase in the charitable contribu- tions. In Season 2, CTS Basketball was able to collect over $3,000 for charitable causes. Once again, the championship team was able to choose where the money would go. The contributions went to Keren Aniyim, Chai Lifeline, NCSY, and the Young Israel of Forest Hills Hatzalah. While the league itself is a great outlet for peo- ple to play basketball, these charitable donations are what the league is really all about. The CTS Basketball League has set its sights even higher for Season 3. With more teams, more games, and more great players, the league hopes to have the opportunity to donate even more money to charity following the season— and, of course, to have a lot of fun in the process! O

“Meeting Hate With Humanity,” December 3 The Touro College Graduate School of Social Work, in col- laboration with the Museum of Jewish Heritage, is scheduled to present a program for gradu- ate students and faculty, enti- tled “Meeting Hate With

Continued on Page 46 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 45 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Brunch. In contrast to other such Continued from Page 45 inspirational events, where everyone “intends” to improve in their behav- Humanity: Life During the Holocaust” iors, these commitments were made in on Wednesday, December 3, from 9:00 writing. Also, this was not a general a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Museum’s A “feel good” sort of resolution; rather, it Living Memorial to the Holocaust, 36 was a direct, targeted, doable action. Battery Place in Manhattan. The morning began with an intro- The program will explore human duction by the always entertaining tragedies such as the Holocaust and emcee, Raizel Feder; a recitation of the genocide in Darfur and offer an Tehillim by Riki Fishbein; and a poetry opportunity for participants to discuss reading by Mrs. Jody LaGreca. To what lessons can be learned by today’s underscore the purpose of the brunch, social work professionals. Touro’s a video of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, Graduate School of Social Work is the Menachem Mendel Schneerson, ob”m, first graduate school to participate in emphasized the crucial role women such a program at the museum. play in the Jewish community. Rivkah Following a guided tour of the exhi- Hurwitz, a successful educator and bition in the morning, an interactive entrepreneur, related in her personable workshop entitled “Thou Shalt Not and relaxed way how money is “soul Rebbetzin Chanie Wolowik announcing the winners of the mitzvah auction, with the help of her Stand Idly By,” a lesson about the geno- energy” and can either free or enslave a daughter Goldie (center) and Hindy Geisinsky (right). cide in Darfur, will take place from person. She described how the ulti- 11:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. Museum edu- mate investor, Hashem, invested His cators will provide background on the energy into our physical bodies, know- Yet, in spite of this inspirational pro- and Mrs. Batsheva Penina Popack political and historical situation in ing He would surely see the rewards. gram, everyone had their eyes and made the day truly remarkable. O Darfur and guide students through a In her comforting manner, Ms. thoughts on the beautifully wrapped close analysis of photographs, text, and Hurwitz taught how a passage from the mitzvah auction items in the back. The Chabad Of The Five Towns drawings by Darfuri children. Song of Songs, written by King ticket price was a commitment to a December Events Social worker leader Mark Shlomo—the wisest of men—can give specific mitzvah, in categories such as Chabad of the Five Towns is located Handelman, former CEO of the New us strength as we seek to overcome our Shabbos, kashrus, modesty, family at 74 Maple Avenue in Cedarhurst. To York Association for New Americans greedy desires. “Many waters cannot purity, children, health, ahavas Yisrael, learn more or to register for an event, (NYANA), will do a global analysis of extinguish the love, and rivers cannot and learning Torah. With valuable call 516-295-2478 or visit refugee resettlement from 2:00 to wash it away.” Kabbalah explains that items donated by local merchants and www.chabad5towns.com. 4:00 p.m., following lunch. O “many waters” refers to material and sponsors, these prizes were highly Tanya with Rabbi Yosef Y. Jacobson: A financial worries, and “love” refers to sought after. While the auction win- Tale of Two Souls. December 2, 8:15 Chabad Of The Five Towns our love for Hashem. In true life-coach ners were certainly happy campers, p.m. Fifth and last of a five-part series. Women’s Brunch fashion, Ms. Hurwitz summarized with everyone who had pledged to take on Gain insight into the anatomy of your On Sunday, November 16, hun- one of our daily prayers, which outlines another mitzvah recognized that they soul with a fascinating lecture series dreds of women undertook to strive a 12-step program towards being a good had won, as well. on the Tanya, the basic text of Chabad- harder at fulfilling mitzvos at the annu- and proper person, including familial, As always, the elegant event plan- Lubavitch philosophy. al Chabad of the Five Towns Women’s community, and religious duties. ning of Rebbetzin Chanie Wolowik Women’s Day Trip with Mrs. Chana

46 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Scharfstein. December 9. This trip day of the Baal HaTanya, the first has been rescheduled from November Chabad Rebbe. Reservations required. 19. Spend a day together with friends Children’s Rally for 19 Kislev. and explore the Museum of Jewish December 16, 5:30–6:15 p.m. Heritage (Holocaust Museum) in Chanukah Storytime for Boys and Battery Park City. Lunch will be Girls Ages 4–7. December 17, 6:30 served. Fee: $36 per person. Meet at p.m. A special time before bed with Chabad at 9:30 a.m. crafts, puppets, and a special Farbrengen for men: 9th of Kislev. Chanukah story reading. RSVP. December 6, after services. In honor of Chanukah Wonderland. December the birthday and yahrtzeit of the Mitteler 21–29. Where Chanukah comes alive! Rebbe, the second Chabad Rebbe. Chanukah-themed activities for the Father and Son Melaveh Malkah. whole family to participate in and December 6, 7:30 p.m. For boys in enjoy. Location to be announced. grades K–3. Exciting atmosphere, fun Grand Menorah Lighting. games, special project, and food. Fee: December 21–28, 6:00 p.m. (Friday $12 per person. RSVP. at 3:00 p.m.) Join public officials and Women’s Evening Class with Mrs. community leaders in lighting our Chaya Franklin. December 9, 8:30 giant outdoor menorah in Cedarhurst p.m. “Mystical aspects of Leah.” Park, corner Cedarhurst Avenue and Friendship Circle Mom’s Night Out. Summit Avenue. Senate Democratic Leader Malcolm Smith and Assemblyman Dov Hikind. December 9, 8:30 p.m. An evening Friendship Circle Holiday Program. mothers of special needs children to December 23, 1:00–3:00 p.m. relax and network. For place and time, Chanukah fun program for children cials came together to pay tribute to a psychological wellness in a dignified write to [email protected] with special needs. For more informa- number of elected officials and com- manner. call Batsheva at ext. 13. tion, call Batsheva at ext. 13 or munity members whose leadership is William Rapfogel, CEO of Women’s Circle: An Evening of [email protected]. instrumental in allowing Nachas to Metropolitan Council on Jewish Inspiration. December 10, 8:15 p.m. Birthday Shabbos for children born in fulfill its mission in ensuring that every Poverty, opened the program by intro- “Eishes Chayil: The Women of Valor.” the Hebrew month of Teves. December child, family, and senior has access to ducing Rabbi Horowitz, who delivered Study of this famous scriptural poem 27, after morning services. Children quality health care and social services greetings. The breakfast was coordi- with guest speaker Mrs. Goldie born in the Hebrew month of Teves join through direct services, referral enti- nated by the Friedlander Group and Gansberg. At the home of Mrs. together with their families and friends tlement navigation, and advocacy. chaired by Assemblyman Dov Hikind, Yocheved Daphna, 35 Willow Road in to celebrate their special day. O Nachas Health and Family Network whose advocacy and passionate sup- Woodsburgh. is a not-for-profit community-based port of Nachas is crucial to the success Farbrengen for Men: 14th of Kislev. Nachas Health Network Honors organization founded in 1990 by Rabbi of the services and programs it offers December 11, 8:15 p.m. In honor of Community Leaders Pinchus D. Horowitz, the Chuster Rav, to the community. Mr. Hikind also pre- the wedding anniversary of the On Sunday, November 23, Nachas to address the gap in health services sented Douglas Jablon with the Lubavitcher Rebbe, ob”m. Health & Family Network, Inc. hosted facing the underserved immigrant and Community Hakoras HaTov Award Farbrengen Dinner for Men and its inaugural legislative breakfast. Jewish communities in Brooklyn. and praised him as a true ba’al chesed Women: 19th of Kislev. December 15, Hundreds of religious leaders, commu- Nachas strives to help children, fami- 8:15 p.m. In honor of the liberation nity philanthropists, and elected offi- lies, and seniors attain physical and Continued on Page 48

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 47 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS when Senate Democratic Leader supporters of AMIT were in atten- Continued from Page 47 Malcolm Smith—the presumed dance. All proceeds will benefit Senate Majority Leader—was intro- AMIT’s network of more than 70 for all his efforts as vice-president of duced by Assemblyman Dov Hikind as schools and programs serving over patient relations and volunteer servic- a true mensch who has committed 20,000 children in 23 cities, develop- es at Maimonides Medical Center. himself to support community initia- ment towns, and other communities Congressman Jerry Nadler presented tives. Senator Smith, a deeply religious throughout Israel. the Community Tribute Award to Joe man, praised Nachas for serving the Trudy and Stanley Stern exemplify Lazar in appreciation of his facilitating public and pledged to do all he can to the young couples who today play such important programs to assist help Nachas in that regard. O a prominent role in the leadership of Holocaust survivors. AMIT, helping to secure the future of Brooklyn Borough President Marty Bais Medrash Ateres Yisroel Pays the organization. Trudy is a founding Markowitz warmly praised New York Tribute To Rav Avrohom member of the AMIT New Generation City Comptroller Bill Thompson and Blumenkrantz, zt’l Board. She currently serves as a mem- presented him with the City In the less than two years since the ber of the AMIT board of directors and Leadership Award. The State untimely petirah of HaRav Avrohom is a member of the AMIT development Leadership Award was presented by Blumenkrantz, zt’l, his shul, Bais cabinet, as well as the Israel program- Mr. Rapfogel to New York State Medrash Ateres Yisroel, has moved for- ming committee. She is also a found- Comptroller Tom DiNapoli. Douglas ward in an exciting and meaningful ing member of the advisory board of Heimowitz, director of Medicare, way. Under the leadership of his son, Rav Blumenkrantz Midreshet AMIT and was instrumental Health Plus, was the recipient of the Rabbi Yisroel Meir Blumenkrantz, in the development of this very suc- Community Health Partner Award, shlita, the shul is alive with heart- cessful program. Trudy is an active which was presented by Councilman warming tefillos, shiurim, and a feeling educating thousands of talmidos, the leader in other community and civic Bill de Blasio. Health Plus has been of achdus which were the hallmark of rav had a tremendous impact upon so organizations and is a partner in the serving the community for many years the late rav. many lives. law firm of Stern, Bryk, and Hoffman. and is singularly responsible for Bais Medrash Ateres Yisroel will be Attendees will hear from guest speak- Stanley Stern is head of banking for advancing the medical and health hosting a melaveh malkah to be held er Rav Dovid Goldwasser as well as view technology, defense, and financial needs of Boro Park residents. iy’H on motzaei Shabbos kodesh, a moving video presentation. A Scroll of institutions at Oppenheimer & Co., Additional remarks were delivered by December 6, at the Ateres Nechama Honor is being prepared, listing the gen- Inc. He is a former member of the Congressman Ed Towns, State Senator Liba Hall in Far Rockaway (613 Beach erous sponsors. Anyone interested in Board of Education and current mem- Diane Savino, and Assemblyman Rory 9th Street). participating in this special tribute or in ber of the executive board of HAFTR Lancman. The evening is dedicated to the making a reservation should call 718- and presently serves as Long Island The City Leadership Award was also memory of the unforgettable mara 327-4680 or 718-327-4999. O regional president of NORPAC, a pro- bestowed on Commissioner Jeanne d’asra, Rav Blumenkrantz, zt’l. This Israel political action committee. The Mullgrav of the NYC Department of gathering will give the Jewish commu- Local Residents Honored At Annual Sterns have four children, Dana, Youth and Community Development nity an opportunity to show their AMIT Dinner; Pre-Chanukah Gala, Caroline, Erica, and Joseph. (DYCD). The award was presented by hakaras ha’tov to the longtime rav who December 16 In addition to Mr. and Mrs. Stern, Councilman Simcha Felder and served our community and Yidden Trudy and Stanley Stern, residents honorees included Anne Bernstein of accepted by Andrew Miller, DYCD’s everywhere with dedication and of Lawrence, were honored at this Los Angeles and John F. Fullerton III director of legislative affairs. mesirus nefesh. Whether in the area of year’s annual AMIT dinner in New of Briarcliff Manor, New York. Tribute The highlight of the program was kashrus, Pesach, Torah counsel, or York City. More than 400 friends and also was paid to Shulamith Cohn,

48 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES gate family residences, and other pro- grams, constituting Israel’s only govern- ment-recognized network of religious Jewish education incorporating academ- ic and technological studies. O

Palestinian Media Watch Presentation At Young Israel Of Woodmere Itamar Marcus, founder and direc- tor of Palestinian Media Watch (PMW), a world-renowned organiza- tion that monitors Palestinian Authority media and schoolbooks, pre- sented his most recent findings on

A Thursday, November 13 at the Young M I T / L

i Israel of Woodmere. z R u b i

n PMW uncovered the use of a Mickey c a m Mouse-like character utilized by PA tel- (L–R): Dr. Francine Stein, president of AMIT; Stanley Stern; and Trudy Stern. evision to indoctrinate children to mar- tyrdom and the destruction of Israel and dom. He presented documentation the West. In his talk, “Mickey Mouse from adult hate ideology, including pub- director, and the inaugural class of ety. The AMIT schools promote religious Teaches Islamic Supremacy: Palestinian lic calls for extermination that have Midreshet AMIT, a program for post- tolerance, service to the state, and the Children’s Television and Formal clear parallels to Nazism. high-school students in Jerusalem, as recognition that every child is blessed Education” he analyzed the different Examples from TV videos and well as to all participants in the AMIT with unique talents and abilities. ideologies in Palestinian society from schoolbooks demonstrated how chil- Bar and Bat Mitzvah Twinning Founded in 1925, AMIT operates more Fatah to Hamas, and how children are Program. than 70 schools, youth villages, surro- indoctrinated into hatred and martyr- Continued on Page 50 Long Island Gala. The 2008 AMIT Long Island Gala has been scheduled for Tuesday evening, December 16, at 6:30 p.m., at the Sephardic Temple in Cedarhurst. The evening will feature an exciting Chanukah boutique and will pay tribute to several local resi- dents for their longtime service to AMIT. All proceeds will benefit the AMIT network of schools and pro- grams in Israel. Clara Evans, a resident of Long Beach, will be joined by her two daughters as the 2008 Long Island Family of the Year. Her daughters are Judi Geller of West Hempstead and Marcie Stein of Holliswood. The Dor L’Dor Award will be presented to Brenda Parver of Great Neck in mem- ory of her mother-in-law, Sylvia Parver. Additionally, a number of regional honorees will be recognized for their outstanding contributions to AMIT: Toby Jacobs of Woodmere, Tobi Klein of West Hempstead, Susie Levy of Oceanside, and Beverly Libin of Cedarhurst. The memory and accom- plishments of Ethel Cinnamon, a vet- eran leader of AMIT who resided in West Hempstead, will be honored with the Legacy Award. Allie Rubin, a resi- dent of Great Neck, will be the guest speaker. Allie is a graduate of the inau- gural class of Midreshet AMIT in Jerusalem, a post-high-school program for young women, and will talk about her year in Israel. The Long Island Gala is co-chaired by Debby Gage of Merrick, Rise Kaufman of Woodmere, Zipporah Marans of Cedarhurst, and Esther Press and Sami Schindelheim of Long Beach. Couvert for the Long Island Gala is $100 per person and many other con- tributing opportunities are available. For further information, please call 212-477-5465. AMIT educates and cares for Israel’s youth, including the most vulnerable. More than three quarters of AMIT stu- dents cope with educational, psycholog- ical, economic, and/or social risk fac- tors. AMIT approaches each child as an individual, maximizing his or her poten- tial and enabling students to become vital, productive members of Israeli soci- 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 49 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS tonight?” This week, the answer to that Continued from Page 49 question is simple. Bnos Bais Yaakov’s PTA is proudly bringing affordable dren are indoctrinated to these hate entertainment right to our neighbor- messages during children’s TV pro- hood. The widely acclaimed film A Light grams, through song, dance, and the for Greytowers will be shown in the aforementioned mouse character. Ateres Nechama Liba Simcha Hall at Children learn Islamic supremacy, love 613 Beach 9th Street, at 7:30 this mot- of violence and death as martyrs, and zoei Shabbos, November 29. Women hatred of Jews, Israel, and the West. and girls, ages eight and older will have Marcus’s talk was sponsored by the opportunity to view this inspira- StandWithUs, (www.standwithus.com) tional and entertaining film about a a seven-year-old non-profit Israel edu- Jewish girl fighting to keep her faith. cation organization with 12 chapters The producer of this film is Robin and offices nationwide, in Israel, and Garbose, a baalas teshuva from in the UK. Hollywood whose productions are of Founded in 1996, PMW documents the highest caliber. We are confident and compares what the Palestinian that watching this breathtaking film Authority leadership conveys to the will be time well spent. The purpose of Western world with the actual transla- this event is not to raise funds, but (L–R): Mrs. Joan Parmet, HAFTR High School’s director of college guidance; Ben Parnes; tion of the messages in Arabic. Marcus rather to provide the girls of our com- and Mrs. Karen Wolf, HAFTR High School college guidance counselor. was appointed to the Israeli delegation munity with an appropriate and fun to the Tri-lateral [American, Israeli, way to spend their free time. and Palestinian] Committee to Therefore, the admission is only $10 research partner, Darren Huang of factants (lipids, carbohydrates, and pro- Monitor Incitement, established under per person to help defray the cost of Herricks High School, have been study- teins). Previous studies have been done the Wye Accords. He has testified to presenting this film. Refreshments will ing a specific viable source of alterna- with artificial surfactants. However, the U.S. Senate Appropriations be sold as well. For an enjoyable mot- tive energy in methane hydrates, a gas natural surfactants are cost-efficient Committee examining whether U.S. zoei Shabbos, treat your daughters and encapsulated in ice. Methane hydrates and environmentally friendly; their use financial support to the Palestinians yourself to A Light for Greytowers. For are found on both coasts of the United provides a novel method of stabilization was directly or indirectly funding PA more information, call 516-295-7373 States. Energy derived from methane for the hydrates. The competition, hate indoctrination. Itamar has or 516-295-1780. O hydrates would therefore help the U.S. which was held at Hyatt Regency Wind addressed the Canadian and make the transition toward energy inde- Watch, Hauppauge, on Wednesday, Australian Parliaments and the HAFTR HS Student Wins First pendence and reduce reliance on for- November 19, included high-school, European Union. To learn more, visit Place For Alternative Energy eign oil. However, methane hydrates college, and graduate-school students www.pmw.org.il. O Research present a dilemma to scientists. Upon from the tri-state area. O Ben Parnes, a junior at HAFTR High removal from the sea floor, the methane BBY Presents School, recently won first place at the in the hydrate immediately sublimes Battling Hunger In New York ‘A Light For Greytowers’ Advanced Energy and Technology and all of the molecules escape in On Thursday, November 20, thirty After the havdalah candle is extin- Research Conference for research on gaseous form. In order to combat this New York City anti-hunger agencies guished, your daughter looks at you alternative energy. Motivated by the challenge, Parnes and Huang stabilized that provide emergency food to their longingly and asks, “Now what can I do current energy crisis, Parnes and his the hydrates using various natural sur- kashrus-observant clients were invited

50 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES years on the staff of City Councilmen Mr. Klainberg has had many opportu- James Sanders and James Gennaro nities to help others in his position as and also worked as the Queens the administrator for the Auditory Oral Borough Director for Mayor Michael School of New York. A native of Bloomberg. “As the Borough Director,” Detroit, he has also lived in Denver, Goldfeder remarked, “I had the unique Israel, and Flatbush. He and his wife, opportunity to work together with all Rochel Leah, and their five children of the Jewish community councils in have lived in Bayswater for the past Queens. I was responsible to ensure five years. “What I love about the that the needs of the Rockaways and Bayswater community,” Klainberg said, Queens communities were being met. “is that it is like an out-of-town com- As a board member, I hope to utilize munity with a New York zip code; a life my experience in government and use in the suburbs that is not far from it to help my own community on a Brooklyn and what it has to offer.” more intense level.” Goldfeder believes Yoni Dembitzer has been working to meet with Bill de Blasio, chairman package of food. Mesapkei Mazon that the goal of the JCCRP board is to for the JCCRP for the last two years, of the NYC Council’s General Welfare picks up leftover food from ballroom clearly define areas of community primarily on programs dealing with Committee, at Liberty Pointe Bank in caterers late at night so they can redis- need and publicize the services that services for the health and safety of Brooklyn. tribute it in the morning to families in the council has to offer. “In our tight- seniors. He saw his role as a JCCRP The goals of the meeting were to need. Also joining were people from knit community, it is often difficult for board member as promoting programs bring to the forefront acknowledgment the Met Council network of anti- people to ask for help,” he explained. that affect the health and wellness of of the existence of Jewish poverty and poverty and -hunger organizations. O “We need to enlist the help of the children as well as seniors. He would hunger, to discuss the current rise in entire community to raise awareness like the JCCRP to focus on three demand due to the current economic New JCCRP Board Members: of the JCCRP and make certain that aspects of safety: community safety, crises and the need for food prepared Phillip Goldfeder, Ari Klainberg, and those in need recognize that they have police presence, and fire safety. “Our under stringent kosher certification, Yoni Dembitzer somewhere to turn for support.” Mr. community has grown over the years,” and to discuss that in the past six Three community leaders— Goldfeder was born and raised in Far Dembitzer pointed out. “The JCCRP months much city funding has been Y. Phillip Goldfeder, Ari Klainberg, and Rockaway, where he and his wife, should continue to work closely with withheld or reduced. Yoni Dembitzer—recently joined the Esther, currently live. the police to help them keep up with Representatives from many grass- board of directors of the Jewish Ari Klainberg joined the JCCRP this any problems that come from our pop- roots organizations attended, including Community Council of the Rockaway year. He was previously involved with ulation growth.” He also saw a need Oneg Shabbos, Benei Rafail, and Peninsula (JCCRP), and they are eager Yeshiva Toras Chaim of Denver and for continued involvement between Masbia, which were started by individ- to participate in JCCRP’s many pro- was the dinner chairman for K’hal the JCCRP and the fire department. uals who rose to the occasion when grams. “Phillip, Ari, and Yoni have Chesed V’Emes, a shul in Bayswater. “The JCCRP should work with the fire they saw the need. Some of them are shown their dedication to many social He believed he was nominated to the department to make sure the firefight- not even pursuing government help causes time and again, both in their JCCRP Board because of his participa- ers know the location of all shuls in but attended in support of the others. day-to-day work in their chosen profes- tion at several JCCRP meetings. “I was the area and they should know the For example, Mr. Hirsh goes around sions and in their work for the told that the JCCRP board was nomi- importance of saving sifrei Torah in collecting donations all week in local JCCRP,” said Yaakov Goldfeder, presi- nating a wide variety of people from case a shul building is ever on fire.” synagogues so by the end of the week dent of the JCCRP. different walks of life and with new he can deliver to large needy families a Phillip Goldfeder served for many and different perspectives,” he said. Continued on Page 52

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 51 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS ing message of personal growth Continued from Page 51 through a commitment to Torah learn- ing and community involvement, Mr. Dembitzer helps adults and chil- through its warm and inclusive dren on a daily basis in his work at approach to its students and to all Achieve Physical Therapy in the Five members of the surrounding commu- Towns. He is trained in both adult and nity, and its commitment to nurturing pediatric rehabilitation. He lives with the potential for greatness that resides his wife, Gila, and their two boys in in each and every Jew. Far Rockaway. At the upcoming Sh’or Yoshuv din- The Jewish Community Council of ner, to be held at the Sands at Atlantic the Rockaway Peninsula is a member Beach, Efraim and Brynde Berkowitz organization of the Metropolitan will be awarded the Chovevei Torah Coordinating Council on Jewish Award. The Berkowitzes are an out- Poverty and UJA-Federation of New standing example of a couple whose York and consists of more than 40 worldly lives are focused and directed Jewish groups serving the Rockaway by a devotion to Torah learning and Peninsula. Since 1972, the JCCRP has community involvement. been providing services on a non-sectar- A residents of Lawrence for the past ian basis to those in need and advocat- Rabbi Michael Olshin from Torat Shraga speaking at Israel Night. 24 years, Efraim is a businessman who ing on issues of concern to the commu- works in private investments. nity. The JCCRP offers referral services Remarkably, he learns the daf yomi and information about community ed by approximately 450 people, dents decide which yeshiva offers the three times each day. He begins with activities and resources. Information on including 175 students from Rambam greatest potential for learning and per- the daf yomi at Congregation Knesseth upcoming JCCRP events and general Mesivta, HALB, HANC, HAFTR, and sonal growth for them in Eretz Israel, has a private chavrusa at Sh’or information on the services offered by North Shore. Thirty-two Israel yeshivos Yisrael,” said Rabbi Zev Friedman, Yoshuv seven mornings a week, and the JCCRP are available on the organi- attended, representing a wide spec- rosh mesivta of Rambam. O also attends a daf yomi shiur at the zation’s website, www.jccrp.org. O trum of the various options available to home of a friend. Efraim’s family students in Eretz Yisrael. Excitement Builds For 42nd draws inspiration from Efraim’s love of Rambam Hosts Nassau County Students had the opportunity to Sh’or Yoshuv Dinner Torah and love of Sh’or Yoshuv. Men’s Israel Night attend four different presentations By Leah Goldman and Eileen Fine Says Efraim, “Our acceptance of the On Monday, November 17, and accumulate detailed information On December 13, Far Rockaway Chovevei Award is our way of showing Rambam Mesivta hosted the Nassau regarding each particular yeshiva pro- and the Five Towns will have an impor- appreciation to this extraordinary County Men’s Communal Israel Night gram. Sophomore and junior students tant opportunity to demonstrate appre- makom Torah. Sh’or Yoshuv is a very Program on its campus. Israel Night is from Rambam Mesivta served as event ciation to an extraordinary Torah insti- special institution that combines, first a program which gives high-school ushers, efficiently and courteously tution in our midst—Sh’or Yoshuv and foremost, Torah study, with a seniors and their families the opportu- helping the overflow crowd find their Institute—that reaches deeply into the tremendous sense of community and nity to meet representatives from appropriate locations prior to each heart of our community and far achdus Yisrael. That special vision of yeshivos in Israel to help them decide session. “It was our pleasure to serve beyond. Many thousands in our area its founder, Rabbi Shlomo Freifeld, where they will go for their upcoming as a community host for this impor- and across the globe have been year in Israel. The program was attend- tant program to help parents and stu- impacted by Sh’or Yoshuv’s outstand- Continued on Page 55

52 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 53 54 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Continued from Page 52 zt’l, is carried out each and every day by the rosh yeshiva, Rabbi Naftali Jaeger, and the menahel, Rabbi Avraham Halpern, who ensure that the environment is open as a Torah home for all, a great pil- lar of ahavas Yisrael and kavod haTorah in our community and beyond. On a personal note, we have found in Sh’or Yoshuv a home away from home.” Efraim’s wife, Brynde, is a former elementary-school teacher who now practices as an attorney at Schoenfeld & Goldring in Cedarhurst. The Berkowitzes have two wonder- ful and accomplished sons. Yehoshua is currently learning in Lakewood and Avromy attends Ner Yisroel. Under the helm of the rosh yeshiva Rabbi Naftali Jaeger, and the menahel, Rabbi Avrohom Halpern, Sh’or Yoshuv has burgeoned into a multifaceted institution. The bais midrash program offers more than 13 levels of shiurim consisting of more than 35 shiurim daily that cater to the diversity of the student body. In addition, each year a number of kollel members complete the semichah pro- gram headed by the yeshiva’s posek, HaRav Eliyahu Schneider. Several have become rebbeim in local com- munity schools and one mem- ber moved to St. Louis to join a kollel and do outreach with- in the community. Apart from the programs for students, the lives of men, women, and children in the community have been uplifted through the Sh’or Yoshuv Institute Community Learning Center, which offers more than 150 shiurim weekly. The Community Learning Center includes the early- morning Kollel, which offers various learning programs and classes for businessmen and professionals before they go to work; the Zichron Tzvi evening community kollel, an alumni night chabura that enables former talmidim of the bais midrash program to learn together and enjoy fre- quent events throughout the year; daily chaburos; Kollel Yom Rishon, offering Sunday morning shiurim for commu- nity members; Shabbos shi- urim and special Shabbos pro- grams; a Shabbos minyan for high-school boys, headed by Rabbi Yechiel Weberman; Zichron Ruchama and N’shei shiurim for women; seasonal yarchei kallah; and weekly father-and-son learning pro- grams on motzaei Shabbos,

Continued on Page 56 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 55 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS we are working to bring even home study group held in the Yeshiva of Flatbush. He was berant growth as many of the Continued from Page 55 more programs and shiurim Erber home in Hewlett, and admitted to the highly selec- yeshiva’s alumni married and out to the community,” the night kollel program held tive BioMed Program of City are raising children in the headed by Rabbi Yehoshua explains Rabbi Avrohom in the Young Israel of Hewlett. College, where he completed area. Today there are more Marchuck and Rabbi Azi Davidowitz, the director of Sh’or Yoshuv also brings its undergraduate studies and than 500 Sh’or Yoshuv fami- Bodner. This enormously suc- the Community Learning warm and caring touch to the medical school in six years, lies and alumni who have cessful program is followed by Center and an alumnus of lives of many through its kiruv going on to his internship and established their homes in a melaveh malkah and gym Sh’or Yoshuv. These programs programs in the Five Towns residency at Mt. Sinai the Far Rockaway/Five activities. are being held in community and Long Island, through the Medical School. A sought- Towns vicinity. In addition to the wide shuls, businesses, and homes. Manhattan adult education after cardiologist in private Andy and Lauren Lauber, array of shiurim currently Rabbi Davidowitz has program, a Russian outreach practice on Long Island, Dr. recipients of this year’s being offered, the Community received much positive feed- program, Ohr Haner of Hershman is also involved in Amudei Chesed Award, con- Learning Center will intro- back about the programs cur- Panama Winter Friday night several biomedical research sider Sh’or Yoshuv their home. duce a new machshavah class rently running such as the mesibos, and Shabbatons. endeavors in Israel. He is also Counted among the promi- in early December to be held lunch-and-learn program held At Sh’or Yoshuv’s 42nd a member of the Board of nent members of Sh’or on weekday evenings. “Now, in a law firm in Mineola, the Annual Dinner, Dr. Ronnie Directors of HAFTR and of Yoshuv’s alumni, the Laubers and Mrs. Channah Hershman the Board of Governors of have chosen to dedicate their will be awarded the Kesser Shaare Zedek Medical Center lives to serving the Jewish Shem Tov Award. They con- in Israel. community, as a result of the sider themselves blessed to Channah was raised in years Andy spent as a student contribute to the kiddush Washington, DC, where she at Sh’or Yoshuv and the Hashem that Sh’or Yoshuv was a student in the Hebrew impact the yeshiva had on his represents. Says Dr. Academy of Greater Washing- life. “Everything I am able to Hershman, “Shivisi Hashem ton and Yeshiva High School. do in life,” says Andy, “is in l’negdi samid—the very first She earned a B.A. from the the z’chus of Sh’or Yoshuv and mitzvah listed by R’ Moshe University of Maryland. its rebbeim. They imbued in Isserles in the glosses of the Channah serves on the Board me a desire to help K’lal Shulchan Aruch—is facilitat- of American Friends of Shaare Yisrael. They continue to ed by the activities of Sh’or Zedek. The Hershmans are guide me and provide a source Yoshuv, every minute of every the proud parents of four chil- of strength. Sh’or Yoshuv is day. I hope all members of our dren: Paula, married to the fuel for what I am able to community, young and old, Michael Gibber; Alana, a sec- accomplish.” avail themselves of this very ond-year student and Andy, who received a special place.” madrichah in Michlalah Masters in Social Work from The Hershmans have lived Jerusalem College; Jacob, a Yeshiva University’s Wurz- in the Five Towns for more student in Sh’or Yoshuv; and weiler School of Social Work, than 20 years and are long- Evan, a student at HAFTR. is a case manager and social standing members of The Over the course of more worker for Chai Lifeline, Young Israel of Woodmere. than four decades, Sh’or helping families cope with the Dr. Hershman was raised in Yoshuv has flourished. The Brooklyn and attended community has enjoyed exu- Continued on Page 58

56 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 57 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS living with illness and loss. An experi- Raised in Jamaica Estates, Andy “We are delighted to be on the giving Continued from Page 56 enced therapist, Andy counsels chil- attended HAFTR elementary and high side, giving talmidim a taste of home.” dren and families at Chai Lifeline’s schools. He went on to study in Israel Andy and Lauren are the proud par- crises and challenges of serious pedi- Adeline S. Zucker Family Center in at Reishit Yerushalayim for a year and ents of Aharon Shimon, a student at atric illness. He worked with commu- Cedarhurst, and directs the agency’s a half and became a student in Sh’or Darchei Torah; Dena, who attends nity leaders in the Five Towns to create Elimelech Moskowitz Homebound Yoshuv upon his return from Israel, B’nos Bais Yaakov; and Yaakov, who is i-Shine, an after-school program that Educational Learning Program, which learning in the Yeshiva from 1995 to six months old. offers structured activity, homework offers tutoring to children who miss 2000. Andy was an 8th-grade rebbi in The upcoming annual dinner is an assistance, and friendship to children long periods of school due to illness. Yeshiva Ketana of Long Island before important opportunity to recognize taking up the field of social work. Sh’or Yoshuv’s excellence in the com- Lauren Lauber grew up in Los munity for more than four decades. It Angeles and attended Yeshiva University will create greater opportunities for its High School (YULA) and Neve dedicated rebbeim to touch the lives of Yerushalayim before moving to the East many more young people and expand Coast. She is a graduate of Stern the range of shiurim in the communi- College and earned a master’s degree in ty. The deadline for ads is Thursday, speech therapy from Adelphi University. December 4. For more information, She is currently a speech therapist for please call the office at 516-239-9002 the New York City Board of Education. or fax your response to 516-239-9003. Lauren is also involved with the N’shei E-mail can be sent to admin@ Sh’or Yoshuv and often prepares meals shoryoshuv.org. O for people at times of need. The Laubers have an open home, and Rabbi Meir Goldwicht, Scholar-In- are well known for their hospitality and Residence At Congregation graciousness. Among their frequent Shaaray Tefila guests are bachurim of Sh’or Yoshuv. Rabbi Meir Goldwicht, rosh yeshiva “When I was a bachur, people opened at Yeshivas Rabbeinu Yitzchok their homes to me,” explained Andy. Elchanan, visited the Five Towns com- munity this past Shabbos as a scholar- in-residence at Congregation Shaaray Tefila. Despite the cold weather, the shiurim were very well attended on Friday night, on Shabbos morning, and at seudah shelishis. Rav Goldwicht is well known in the community for his weekly Monday-night hashkafah shiur at Shaaray Tefila, now entering its sec- ond decade, relating to the parashas

Rav Meir Goldwicht

ha’shavua. This shiur has become a not- to-be-missed learning opportunity for dozens of men, women, and youths who attend, coming from the Five Towns, West Hempstead, Long Beach, and Oceanside. The shiur is unique in the Five Towns, delivered in Rabbi Goldwicht’s beautiful, clear, and easy Hebrew. Rav Goldwicht is a sought-after speaker who, besides his shiurim at YU and Stern, gives shiurim every week to five different communities in the met- ropolitan area. He also travels to Israel at least one Shabbos a month, visiting different communities all over Israel in order to be marbitz Torah. Everyone is invited to join this spe- cial shiur as we continue through the parashios of Sefer Bereishis and begin to focus on the upcoming chag of Chanukah. O

Continued on Page 64 58 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Back In The USA

Our Aliyah Chronicle, Part 98 free shopping; I was getting ready for a B Y SHMUEL KATZ long flight delay. We enjoyed the bar mitzvah. Mazal I was preparing to attend the bar Tov to the Gottlieb family. Being at the mitzvah celebration of Daniel Gottlieb bar mitzvah, we saw a bunch of old last Sunday evening (Daniel is the son friends who live in the area and whom of Mark and Miriam Gottlieb, formerly we never get to see. With the kids of Cedarhurst, now of Neve Daniel, keeping us scheduled for carpools and which is close to Efrat) when I chanced a lot of our free time spent trying to to glance at my e-mail. Larry Gordon see family for things like my sister had sent me a brief note asking, “I see Bluma’s birthday dinner at Papagaio that there’s a strike at BG (Ben Gurion (all the meat you can eat!), we rarely Airport)…What’s the impact?” To which have time for going out and being I responded, “OH NO!!!” seen. So it’s a special treat to go to an Earlier in the week I had been a bit outside-of-Bet Shemesh event. concerned about a possible strike. The After a couple of hours of posturing, airport workers’ union had conducted the strike ended and the airport a slowdown, with the threat of a strike, resumed normal operations. In the but when they were ordered back to end, dozens of flights were delayed— work by the courts, I assumed that it but not mine. would be weeks before there was any I almost wish it had been canceled. possibility that there could be prob- I have begun to sit in the window lems. These things usually run in seat. I used to think that the aisle cycles, and we appeared to be weeks would be more conducive to stretch- away from the next conflagration. ing out and relaxing, but I was never Apparently the union had a different able to get comfortable enough to playbook than mine. At about 5:30 in sleep. I find that having the wall to the afternoon (my flight was midnight) lean against in the window seat facil- the workers staged a wildcat strike, itates being able to actually sleep. I walking off the job. By the time I had had settled into my seat on the plane gotten Larry’s e-mail an hour later, when a flight attendant approached flights were already delayed and there me with a request for me to switch was general chaos in trying to get seats. There was a chareidi passenger information. The only thing I knew for who was assigned a middle seat next certain was that I no longer needed to plan on leaving early to do some duty- Continued on Page 60

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 59 Our Aliyah Chronicle Suffice it to say that I was quite to see many old friends while there. This is the same shock I have with the Continued from Page 59 cranky at the end of the flight. year’s senior class is Chaim’s class; he weather. I should know in my mind I always forget how cold it is in would have been graduating from high that it will be cold, but I don’t really to (gasp) a woman. Would it be possi- the U.S. No matter how warm a fall school in June had we not moved. I adjust to it until I am forced to. ble for me to switch seats with her so or winter you may be having, it takes therefore know a lot of the kids and par- This has been one of the longest that he would sit down and the plane me at least two days to get used to ents from school, shul, little league, etc. stretches that I had been continuous- could take off? the temperatures. Of course, coming Seeing their sons was quite a shock. ly home without a trip overseas. This My initial thought was to refuse. I meant that by the time I got to New was settled in and comfortable. York, several suitcases worth of stuff However, I have sat on a plane that for us had accumulated (including all was delayed almost an hour because a the stuff that Goldie and “daughters” single passenger refused to sit down. Without being able to watch or read, we ordered online). Goldie e-mailed me a Not wanting a replay of that, I decided shopping list of those all important it would be easier to just say yes. last-minute items that I needed to A few minutes after takeoff they sat in our seats doing nothing (I did pick up, as well. turned on the video service and start- Bringing in American products is a ed serving drinks. After some confu- manage to get four hours of sleep). major part of the aliyah experience for sion, it became apparent that the many. There are those who eschew all video units in my row (and the rows in trappings of their former lives and front and behind me) were totally out. fanatically deny themselves those While this was disappointing, the real things that are either impossible or crushing moment happened when in the middle of a cold snap doesn’t Having been away for 2+ years, I had ridiculously expensive to get in Israel. they turned off the cabin lights and we help. However, by the third day or not adjusted my mental picture of We are not one of those families. discovered that our individual seat so, I am back to running around them to allow for continued growth I am not talking about luxury goods. lights weren’t working, either. So, without a coat. and maturity. Even though Chaim has A simple brick of American cheese without being able to watch or read, As I mentioned last week, I represent- undergone the same growth and I costs $20+ in Israel (depending on the we sat in our seats doing nothing (I ed our yeshiva at the Five Towns Israel should have anticipated it in his peers, store and the prevailing exchange rate). did manage to get four hours of sleep). Night (among others) and had a chance I didn’t make the adjustment. I think it We go through a couple of these each month, and the extra cost adds up (as does the weight of schlepping these in my suitcase). Crocs brand shoes are more than double the price in Israel and are the norm for footwear for the kids. So the ability to “import” your personal goods is a big benefit for the traveling oleh. The search for “couriers” traveling to Israel and not bringing their full lug- gage allotment is therefore a serious business in the Anglo communities in Israel. The e-mail lists are full of peo- ple asking if “someone” is going to/from a specific place and asking if they can take a “small” package with them. I have therefore perfected what I call the “commuter pack” suitcase. I pack as little as possible for myself, lit- erally limiting myself to a few changes of clothes and that’s it. I pack my small stack of clothing in my smallest duffel, which I then pack inside a larg- er duffel or suitcase, so that I only need to check the one bag. For this trip, I even had a second “commuter pack” bag for the brochures/recruit- ment materials I needed to bring. This meant that I was traveling (outbound) with four suitcases. Real commuters—those guys who go in every week or even every other week—hate to travel with luggage. Most of them prefer to walk onto the plane without having to clear their bags through security and to walk straight out of the airport without hav- ing to deal with baggage claim and customs. It is unfair to even think about asking one of these guys to bring a bag, since it really inconven- iences them. There are, however, a minority of these guys who do schlep bags, and they are more than happy to help out a neighbor—especially if the package is being dropped off or picked up in the U.S. without them having to worry about it. So far, we have been pretty lucky with getting stuff from the U.S. I pack the bags to within a half pound of the allowance, and whenever the mail or various things back up, my mother-in- law or brother-in-law have somehow been able to find someone to take a package for us. When I have a 60 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES chance, I bring in an extra bag or two Sarah, also known as Shabbat Chevron and leave the extra suitcases behind for the past several years. He made his for them to use when they find some- own arrangements and had “an awe- one willing to take it. some time,” or so he says. I might get Of course, it goes without saying more information from him when I get that we only ask those people we know home, but doubt it. He is, after all, a well to take the bags. Not because we teenager. He has, however, become don’t trust them, but because they quite passionate and defensive of have to trust us. Security is a major Israel—a real change for him—which issue when traveling to or from Israel, we take as a great sign. and I only take items from either a Mazal Tov to Chana and Dov close relative (I took my brother’s mail Bienstock on the bar mitzvah of their last week) or people I know very well, son Eli. I was able to surprise them at unless the item is mail and was sealed the simcha while in the U.S., and it in my presence after I have checked was a special treat to see all those the contents. I would never take a bag friends who attended. O or package from someone I don’t know. Nor should you. Shmuel Katz is the director of Yeshivat Eretz HaTzvi in the Katamon neighborhood in While I was gone, Chaim joined Jerusalem. Shmuel, his wife Goldie, and their six thousands of people (including 5TJT children made aliyah in July of 2006. Prior to his aliyah, Shmuel was the executive director of publisher/editor Larry Gordon) in the Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can Chevron for Shabbat Parashat Chayei contact him at [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 61 62 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE Continued from Page 22 and a tree, especially since a tree has no bumper. Oh yes, the parking tickets. They’ve gotten very strict here and give you a summons the moment your meter expires. So it’s important to keep those meters well fed. And if you think that because you are a lantzman the ticket-writer is going to abandon his mission when you encounter him in the act, you are mistaken. I had precisely this type of conversation with one of these ticket agents. I explained to him exactly what hap- pened—that it took us a little extra time to get back to the car because we simply could not find the street that we had parked on, and I inquired as to whether he could give us a break instead of assessing another 100 shekels on us (that’s $40). He said he could not, that he would lose his job if he abandoned the effort. I pressed a little, considering we were standing there and he had not placed the ticket on the wind- shield yet. He looked at me and asked incredulously, in a broken English, “Do you want me to lose my job over 100 shekel?” My answer was that of course that should not be the case, nor was that my intent. Fortunately, I have considered—in my heart, that is, not on my income- tax forms—that every dollar spent here is a form of charity. It doesn’t matter if it is spent shopping, eating in restau- rants, overpaying for rental cars, or paying traffic fines. The money is well spent here, supporting Jewish commu- nities and making the state of Israel the special place that it is. I’d even go so far as to say that they are lucky to have drivers like me. O Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at [email protected].

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5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 63

AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS Dovid Weinberger, Project ing “for what is about to come Continued from Page 58 LIFT—Livelihood Initiatives to pass.” We are all aware for the Five Towns—was right now of families through- LIFT: Paddling Against The born. The purpose of Project out our community who have Current LIFT is straightforward—to lost their sources of livelihood As eloquently stated by prepare our community for in recent weeks and months. our sages, “Who is a wise the impact, and possibly dra- Coupled with the dramatic man? He who discerns what matic impact, that the severe losses to hard-earned savings is about to come to pass” and deepening economic due to the collapse of the (Tamid 32a). downturn may, chas v’shalom, stock market, the impact on a With this adage in mind, as have on our neighbors and family can be devastating. But previously reported in the friends throughout the Far if we, as a community, are pages of this paper, under the Rockaway and Five Towns indeed wise, we must not only wise guidance of our local community. help those in need right now; sages, including Rabbis Let there be no mistake, we must prepare to provide Flaum, Hain, Reisman and this is not only about prepar- effective and meaningful assistance even if the ranks of the families requiring assis- tance swell. To do so, however, requires foresight, planning, and dedication. Under the leadership of Dovid Friedman and Sam Bergman of Lawrence, and with the active and compassionate participation of individuals from across our communities and professions, Project LIFT is aggressively putting together its game plan to ensure that all the necessary resources are available to be brought to bear with maxi- mum impact. This paper already reported on the inter- action between Project LIFT and the employment assis- tance programs of Agudath

Continued on Page 66

64 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Hebron The British made no move to stop the Levinger and a group of like-minded Minister Menachem Begin did not try Continued from Page 26 riot. But three days later, after funerals religious Jews decided it was time to re- to force them out, but instead ordered had been conducted, they decided to establish the Jewish community in that the building be surrounded and renowned Yeshiva of Slobodka was evacuate the survivors. They were Hebron. They began by renting the Park that nothing be allowed in—not even moved from Lithuania to Hebron. Beit loaded onto trucks and brought to Hotel in Hebron from its Arab owners food or water. He relented when Romano was seized by the British, how- Jerusalem, while all property and pos- for an indefinite period of time. When Rabbi Levinger reminded him that ever, and used for administrative and sessions were left behind. the call went out, 86 people came even enemy Egyptian soldiers under police headquarters. In 1931, 35 families attempted to together in the hotel for a Pesach Seder siege were given food and water. For Destruction came to the Jewish com- rebuild the Jewish community of ceremony. Two days later, the rabbi two months, those inside the building munity of Hebron in 1929, with Arab Hebron; among them was the elderly called a press conference and declared lived under siege: no one was allowed riots. While relations between Jews and Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Slonim, who had intentions to remain in the hotel. in, and anyone who left could not Arabs in the area had not always been lost his entire family in the riots. But This met with resistance from Arab return. After an incident in which one placid, there was an extended period in 1936, new riots broke out. Once Hebron, as well as from the govern- of the children left to go to the dentist prior to these riots that had seen peace- again, the British, instead of defend- ment of Levi Eshkol, which was not and could not return to his mother, ful co-existence. The violence was insti- ing the Jewish community, decided enthusiastic about what was intended. the cabinet decided to allow the gated by the Haj Amin al-Husseini, the that to “maintain calm” they would Moshe Dayan, then defense minister, women and children to come and go. Mufti of Jerusalem, who later became transport the Jews out of Hebron. gave the group a choice: be forcibly For a year they lived this way. an active supporter of the Nazis (and Thus was this most ancient of Jewish removed, or go live in the nearby mil- Each Friday night, worshippers who was mentor to Yasser Arafat). The communities temporarily vanquished. itary compound that had become mil- lived in Kiryat Arba would come outside Mufti’s goal, quite simply, was the elim- For the first time in over 3,000 years, itary headquarters for Judea. The Beit Hadassah and sing and dance. On ination of the Jewish community of there was no remnant community, no group lived in that compound for two a Friday night in May 1980, terrorists Hebron. To that end he instigated and Jewish presence. Not until 1968 would and a half years, awaiting construc- attacked, killing six and wounding 20. made false charges. there again be a Jewish presence. tion of the first neighborhood in The Israeli government then relented Arab rioting began following inflam- In 1948, during the Israeli War of Kiryat Arba, a new Jewish community and gave permission for Jewish resettle- matory sermons and went on for hours, Independence, the Jordanians that was to be set up adjacent to old ment in Hebron. Beit Hadassah was with the indiscriminate slaughter of secured control of Hebron, along with Hebron. The city remained relatively refurbished and residence was permit- women, children, and the aged. The all of Judea, and held it for 19 years. quiet during this time, but there were ted in nearby buildings. rioters, wielding weapons, went from They forbade Jews from living or wor- attacks by Arabs on the group of set- Over time, other buildings were house to house, crying “Kill the Jews.” shiping there; razed the Jewish quar- tlers and the IDF; additionally, the refurbished and became places of res- Sixty-seven people were murdered; ter; built an animal pen on the ruins right of the Jews to pray at the Cave of idence for Jews. After 1980, a Hebron many were maimed. The Chief of the Avraham Avinu Synagogue; and Machpelah was challenged. While the Municipal Committee, established by Sephardic Rabbi of Hebron, Rabbi desecrated the cemetery. establishment of Kiryat Arba consti- the government, assumed administra- Hanoch Hasson, was slaughtered tuted a success, there was the longing tive responsibilities for the Jewish together with his entire family. Ben- Modern Times: to return to the old city of Hebron. community, and the Ministry of Zion Gershon, the pharmacist at the The Struggle To Return In 1979, a group of 10 women and Housing set up the Association for the Beit Hadassah Clinic, who had extend- Israel gained control of the area dur- their 40 children made their way into Renewal of the Jewish Community in ed professional assistance to Arabs, was ing the Six Day War in June 1967. the basement of the old clinic, Beit Hebron to carry out projects. O tortured; his wife’s hands were cut off Hebron, although devoid of a Jewish Hadassah, in the middle of the night. (To be continued) and she died in anguish. Synagogues population, was once again in Jewish Their presence, discovered in the David Bedein can be contacted at were razed and Torah scrolls burned. hands. In April 1968, Rabbi Moshe morning, caused a furor. Prime [email protected].

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 65

AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS auspices of the Young Israel of all, be aware. During his come from the community at these efforts and actively Continued from Page 64 of Woodmere. By combining recent visit to our communi- large, not from a handful of encouraging their congre- the efforts, resources, and ty, the Nikolsburger Rebbe movers. Our shuls will be gants to do the same. Israel (718-436-1900), dedication of Project LIFT stressed that just because the cornerstones of this The months ahead will not National Council of Young with the Eliezer Project, the someone in shul is wearing a effort—to gather and dis- be easy, and you will be hear- Israel (www.young intention is to provide the smile, don’t assume every- seminate information, pro- ing much more, both through israel.org/content/ncyijobs.cf most effective and compre- thing is fine. The loss of vide trained volunteers to the media and in our shuls, m; 212-929-1525) and the hensive job placement assis- livelihood for a family places guide families to the avail- about what we are doing and Orthodox Union tance possible to our friends a monumental strain on all able services. and, for those what you can do to ensure (www.parnossahworks-ou.org; and neighbors, as well as aspects of life, and as friends with the suitable skills, that our friends and neigh- www.ou.org/jobs/index). other essential support serv- and neighbors, the first step directly assist our friends bors have the tools to navi- There is now a further ices such as mortgage and for each one of us is to be and neighbors with profes- gate these rough economic positive development: the credit negotiations, financial aware and concerned. sional guidance and advice. waters. If we all dedicate our- affiliation of Project LIFT planning, tuition guidance Second, get ready to help. We look forward to all of our selves to this critical task, we with the Eliezer Project and family counseling. This is a community chal- local rabbanim becoming will strengthen the very fabric being developed under the So what can you do? First lenge, and the solutions will familiar with and involved in of our neighborhoods and communities. O

Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok Rebbe To Visit Lawrence, December 8 The history of Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok began with the holy tzaddik, HaAdmor Reb Aharon Roth, zt”l, known by the name of his famous sefer, the Shomer Emunim. Reb Ahrele, as he was affectionately known, was a talmid of the foremost tzaddikim of his time, R’ Tzvi Elimelech Shapiro of Bluzhev, R’ Yissocher Dov Rokeach of Belz, and the Ahavas Yisroel of Viznitz, from whom he embodied his fiery avodas Hashem. In 1924, Reb Aharon established Kehillas Yirei Hashem in the city of Satmar Romania with a select group

66 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES of pious talmidei chachamim who at the helm of the largest Chassidic gathered around him striving to serve court in Eretz Yisrael. Hashem with their entire being and achieve spiritual greatness. Toldos Aharon In 5688 (1928), Reb Aharon moved After the passing of Reb Aharon, to Eretz Yisrael for four years. He HaAdmor Reb Avrohom Yitzchok established there a large kehillah who Hakohen Kohn, zt”l, the son-in-law adopted his elevated approach to avo- of Reb Aharon, continued with this das Hashem. approach in avodah. He built a large beis midrash in the Meah Shomer Emunim Shearim neighborhood, naming it In 5693 (1933), Reb Aharon Toldos Aharon, “The Talmidim of founded a kehillah called Shomer Reb Aharon” attracting many more Emunim (Keepers of the Faith) in followers. Satmar, continuing his tradition of Reb Avrohom Yitzchok was a great an all consuming avodas Hashem. tzaddik in his own right, transmitting The practice of saying Amen out his strong ahavas Torah and ahavas loud is one of the hallmarks of the Hashem to his followers. The Toldos community. Aharon community became world When the Nazis took control of famous for maintaining the highest Romania in 1936, Reb Aharon left standards of Torah and kedushah. Romania and established the kehillah in the city of Beregsaz, Hungary. As Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok the Germans were taking control of After Reb Avrohom Yitzchok’s pass- Hungary in 1944, b’chesed Hashem, ing in 5756 (1996), many chassidim Reb Aharon escaped with his family of the Toldos Aharon community, and reached Eretz Yisrael. In including many Torah scholars, gath- Yerushalayim, Yidden from Hungary ered around his eldest son, HaAdmor and many old Yerushalmis flocked to Reb Shmuel Yaakov Hakohen Kohn, Reb Aharon and joined with the exist- shlita. They gathered to seek his guid- ing kehillah which he had established ance in avodas Hashem. The new back in 1928. With the distinctive Rebbe assumed his father’s position, Yerushalmi garb of its members, the renaming the growing community kehillah blended the kedushah and Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok after the taharah of Yerushalayim Shel Maalah late Rebbe. He continued the tradi- with R’ Aharon’s fiery brand of tion of his illustrious father and Yiddishkeit, flourishing as the bastion grandfather to personally supervise of Chassidus and avodas Hashem in the ruchniyus of his Chassidim and to the Ir Hakodesh. constantly raise their madreigah in When Reb Aharon passed away in 5707 (1947) at the age of 53, he was Continued on Page 68

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 67 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS thousands of homes around dren are raised according to avreichim to enable them to midrash of the kehillah is a Continued from Page 67 the world where the Rebbe’s the ancient traditions of reach the highest levels in center for Torah and tefillah, avodah has permeated the Yerushalyim and the exacting Torah and avodah. with a resounding Kol Torah Torah and yiras Shamayim Shabbos atmosphere. At standards of Reb Aharon, the The mosdos of Toldos heard day and night. The bederech Yisrael saba. every tisch and simchas beis Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok Avrohom Yitzchok have young boys of the kehillah The Rebbe, shlita, is a ha’shoevah of the Rebbe, one Rebbe, shlita established an received enthusiastic endorse- reflect the purity in which great talmid muvhak of the can see chassidim, Litvishe, extensive network of mosdos ments from some of the most they are raised. Imrei Chaim of Vishnitz. He Yeshivishe, and modern hachinuch and yeshivos gedo- prominent and respected The Rebbe has also taken followed many of the min- Orthodox blending together los which are considered gedolim of Klal Yisrael includ- on the additional burden of hagim of the Imrei Chaim. by the warmth and charisma amongst the most prominent ing Rav Eliyashiv, shlita. maintaining a soup kitchen in Everyone who experiences which radiates from the yeshivos in Eretz Yisrael. Over 1,000 children and Meah Shearim, which is open the exalted and beautiful Rebbe. There are yeshivas and bachurim are being educated for any Jew who is hungry to atmosphere of his Shabbos Talmud Torahs in under the personal guidance avail themselves of hot nutri- tisch gains a new under- The Mosdos Of Toldos Yerushalayim and Beit of the Rebbe, shlita, and will tious meals. standing of the kedushah of Avrohom Yitzchok Shemesh. The crown of the be’H grow up to be a pride for Shabbos. This is evident in To ensure that their chil- mosdos are five kollelim for K’lal Yisrael. The large beis Historical Visit To New York The Rebbe of Toldos Avrohom Yitzchok is presently in New York for a three-week tour of the Jewish communi- ties. The Rebbe will be spend- ing Shabbosos in three differ- ent locations, bringing chizuk to thousands of Jews. The Five Towns communi- ty will be privileged to have the Rebbe in their midst for the first time. The Rebbe will be hosted by the gracious Marton family of Lawrence. There will be a special recep- tion held for the Rebbe at the Marton residence on Monday evening December 8 at 8:00 p.m. The entire community is invited and is welcome to attend. The Rebbe will be receiving people after the

Continued on Page 70

68 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES translates the words “Ki tzayid b’phiv” joint effort: the two personalities of as “Eisav feeds his father from the tza- Yaakov and Eisav together should forge yid” (Bereishis 25:28). the basis of our nation. Yitzchak had a We find in the Midrash that glorious view of the future. Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel, the great Tanna, declares: “I can’t come close to comparing my serving of my father to that of Eisav serving his Yitzchak loved Eisav father.” Eisav served his father in bigdei malchus (majestic clothing). because the latter had Understanding Eisav understood the profound mean- the ability take tzayid ing of honoring one’s father. Yitzchak loved Eisav because the latter had the and elevate it to the Parashas Toledos ability take tzayid and elevate it to the service of Hashem through the mitz- service of Hashem vah of kibud av. BY RABBI p’nim; he had been (from a psycholog- Eisav would ask his father if one must through the mitzvah of AZARYA BERZON ical perspective) sacrificed to Hashem separate tithes from salt. He thus kibud av. ROSH YESHIVAT SHA’AREI MEVASERET ZION at the Akeidah; he is the single Av who showed Yitzchak that he has the ability was not permitted to leave Eretz to take chol and elevate it to kodesh. The story of the berachos given by HaKodesh. His is the middah of Yitzchak, in turn, was impressed. Yitzchak to his sons, which takes up Gevurah, which entails withdrawal and Although he understood that avodas Rivka, however, saw the truth. She much of Parashas Toledos, is very diffi- holiness. We can now begin to under- p’nim belongs to Ya’akov, he believed understood that while Yaakov was cult to comprehend. How it was possi- stand why Yitzchak loves Eisav. Eisav is that it was the right time to split the indeed a genuine Torah student, totally ble for Yitzchak to love Eisav and an ish sadeh; he is completely involved leadership of the Covenantal communi- dedicated to avodas p’nim, Eisav’s avo- intend to give him the berachos? What with the outside world. How does ty and create a partnership of avodas dah was sheker (false). Like the chazir does the Torah mean when it says, Eisav face the challenges of sadeh, i.e., p’nim and avodas chutz. He thought that “Va’ye’ehav Yitzchak es Eisav ki tzayid of avodas chutz? Targum Unkelus the succession of leadership should be a Continued on Page 71 b’phiv,” that Yitzchak loved Eisav for game was in his mouth (Bereishis 25:28)? Why would Yitzchak prefer Eisav because of “tzayid”? Perhaps the key to understanding the parashah lies in a cryptic Midrash in the Yalkut Shimoni (Bereishis 27:9). The Torah tells us that at the time of Yitzchak’s giving of the berachos, Rivka asked Yaakov to take two goats from the flock. The Yalkut says that as a result of the taking of these goats, Yaakov’s descendents were rewarded with the atonement of the two goats (sh’nei se’irim) which the High Priest takes on Yom Kippur. What is the con- nection between these two goats that Yaakov takes and the ones taken on Yom Kippur (other than the fact that they are both goats)? In order to answer these questions, let us look at an idea formulated by Rav Chaim Y. Goldvicht, zt’l, in his work Asufas Marachos (in the volume on Sukkos). Every single action, every aspect of life, must be elevated to the service of the Al-mighty. We must constantly raise the physical to the level of the spiritual. For example, Avraham was able to take physical lechem (bread) and elevate it to the spiritual level of manna, worthy of being eaten by malachim (angels). Avraham took chol and transformed it to kodesh. However, this can only be achieved when a person is deeply rooted in kodesh. Service of Hashem manifests itself in two types of avodah. One is avodas p’nim. Avodas p’nim refers to one’s inner spiritual challenges, one’s own personal striving toward G-d. It involves tefillah and talmud Torah and is pursued within the four walls of kodesh. The second type of avodah is avodas chutz. It entails facing the chal- lenges of the mundane, secular world outside the walls of kodesh. It calls upon man to face experiences in the agricultural and technological uni- verse, and discover Divinity in all realms of life. One must apply the principle of b’chol d’rachecha da’eihu to elevate all aspects of one’s life. Yitzchak knew that he was totally and completely dedicated to avodas 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 69 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS ensure that the Rebbe’s visit will be a Continued from Page 68 memorable and enjoyable one for the community. Reb Sender is the first reception. The schedule of the Rebbe and foremost with every matter of for Shabbos can be found on page 30 tzedakah, chesed, and kedushah of this issue. which comes to the Five Towns, and There is no doubt that this Shabbos especially to help Chasidishe mosdos will bring much honor, and it will be, regardless of their affiliations or iy”H, a source of great merit for the their location. community, and to all those who will The Rebbe and Mosdos Toldos participate in the Shabbos with the Avrohom Yitzchok are grateful to Reb Rebbe, shlita. Sender for all his avodas ha’kodesh in Once again, Reb Sender Schwartz, making the Rebbe’s visit to the Five the well-known asken of the Five Towns possible. Towns, has accepted the task of plan- For appointments and addition- ning the logistics for the Rebbe’s al information please call 347- visit. He has taken it upon himself to 262-5005. O

The Rebbe with the Rav of Yerushalayim, R’ Tuvia Weiss.

Rav Elyashiv with the Rebbe of Toldos Avrohom Yitzchak. The rav of Kehillas Toldos Avrohom Yitzchak, Rabbi Meir Bransdorfer.

70 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES INSIGHTS ON THE TORAH capable of fulfilling that thanks to her intervention that Continued from Page 69 charge. Therefore Yaakov need- K’lal Yisrael was able to be ed to take on both roles. This fashioned as the nation of avo- that displays his hoofs and was Rivka’s insight. It was das Hashem. O claims to be a kosher animal, Eisav displayed his avodah externally, but had no genuine, internal feelings for the avo- dah. Rivka understood that Yitzchak’s plan could not be actualized. Not only does avo- das p’nim belongs to Yaakov, but even the physical avodas chutz, as reflected in the first of Yitzchak’s berachos, i.e., the berachah of “tal haShamayim” (rain), must be given to Yaakov as well. The two goats on Yom Kippur both belong to the descendants of Yaakov, because both the p’nim and the chutz aspects were to be given to Yaakov. The goat to Azazel would atone for our tendency to neglect our obligations to fulfill the avodas chutz, where- as the goat l’Hashem would atone for our deficiencies in our avodas p’nim (e.g., we don’t daven well, we waste time in learning, etc.). As Rivka would have it, Yaakov would take not just the responsibility for avodas p’nim, but he would take the avodas chutz as well. Yitzchak could have been correct, ideally, but the reality was different. Eisav could not be in charge of avo- das chutz because he was not

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 71 72 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 73 SERVICES HELP PROVIDED WANTED

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76 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Former MKs Join Likud Bandwagon

BY HILLEL FENDEL Shomron community of Eli with their heads the “Home in Yesha” movement. international press coverage of the eight children. Living with his wife and four children Arab-Israeli conflict, he also served as The list of candidates for the Likud Attorney Yossi Fuchs, a head of the in the Gush Etzion town of N’vei the Foreign Press Liaison for the IDF Knesset list continues to grow, as the Legal Forum for the Land of Israel, Daniel, he is seeking the “Judea and Spokesperson’s unit as an officer. He date for the primaries that will deter- has been active for nearly five years in Samaria” slot on the Likud list. resides in Jerusalem with his wife and mine the list has been set for three children. December 8. Kadima will choose its In addition, the youth wing of the candidates nine days later, and Labor Likud Party is demanding more recog- has not yet determined its date. Some called them the “Likud loyalists,” nition. In an open letter to the party The latest to announce his joining leaders, the group states that some of the Likud fray was Michael Ratzon, the Likud’s top leaders today—includ- who served in the Knesset as a Likud for remaining loyal to the Likud ing Netanyahu himself, as well as MK in the 16th Knesset. He was Limor Livnat, Gideon Saar, and oth- among the group known as the platform opposing the giveaway of any ers—sprouted as members of the “Likud rebels,” which rebelled Likud’s youth wing. “In the Labor against Likud leader and Prime part of the Land. Party, Peres and Rabin blocked the Minister Ariel Sharon. Some called younger members from entering, and them the “Likud loyalists,” for we see that party’s poor situation remaining loyal to the Likud platform today… If Mr. Netanyahu thinks that opposing the giveaway of any part of helping the residents of Gush Katif Danny Seaman left his position as we’re good only for hanging posters the Land of Israel. and northern Shomron obtain the ben- director of the Israel Government and giving out campaign literature, he Ratzon paid a heavy political price efits they deserve. An expert in consti- Press Office (GPO) in order to run for is making a sad mistake—and we will for remaining loyal to his ideals. tutional and administrative law, he office. Considered an expert on the not sit by quietly.” (Arutz Sheva) O Sharon fired him from his position as Deputy Trade and Industry Minister, and he was not re-elected as a Knesset Member in the 2006 elections. Ratzon was chosen to the 20th spot on the list of Knesset candidates, but was pushed down by some 20 other candidates representing various sectors with pre- reserved slots. Former Defense Minister and Foreign Minister Moshe Arens supports Ratzon and attended the press confer- ence at which Ratzon announced his entry into the Likud race. Other former MKs who are running for slots on the Likud Knesset list are Ehud Yatom, Leah Ness, Gila Gamliel, and possibly Ayoub Kara. Others who have recently joined the Likud from other parties or from outside politics include MK Effie Eitam, former Science Minister Benny Begin, former Police Chief Assaf Chefetz, former Justice Minister Dan Meridor, ex-IDF Spokesperson Miri Regev, and former IDF Gen. Uzi Dayan. Ratzon said he welcomes the new faces, adding that some of them are most likely motivat- ed by the polls showing a strong victo- ry for the Likud. In addition, newcomers to the public arena who are running for a spot in the Likud include Yechiel Leiter, Attorney Yossi Fuchs, and Danny Seaman. Leiter, 48, is a senior researcher at the Jerusalem Center for Public Affairs, has written three books on Israel and Jewish thought, and is studying for his doctorate in political philosophy at Haifa University. He has served as aide to then-MK Ariel Sharon, Deputy Director of the Education Ministry, and Chief of Staff of then-Finance Minister Binyamin Netanyahu. He and his wife live in the

Deadline for advertising in the next issue is Tuesday, December 2 at 5:00 P.M. Call 516-984-0079

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 77 Five Towns Simcha Gallery Photo By Jeff Neckonoff

The engagement of Danny Winkler of Forest Hills and Gabby Soep Bat Mitzvah of Rikki Pasternak, daughter of Susan and Marty, at the Bayside of Woodmere took place at Brach’s Supermarket on November 11. JCC. Rikki is a student at YCQ. Entertainment was by Azamra Events.

78 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 79 Dunkin’ Donuts broke world chain surprise when it comes to failed chains sale records when it opened its Tel Aviv in Israel. Half a dozen branches opened Fast Food In Israel branch in August 1997, selling 3 million in 2001, but the caffeine didn’t provide donuts in the opening month. “Israelis enough energy to keep the chain run- BY STEPHANIE FREID cess or failure is simple: If any chain do not stop eating doughnuts,” Tel Aviv ning more than two years. Starbucks tries to come into Israel’s market, they operations manager Asa Reshef told The “lacked a marketing strategy specific to In my parallel-universe food fantasy, a have to adjust to local tastes,” says New York Times at the time. But this region. They were relying on their dream day goes something like this: Get Arnon Volosky, chief executive of Dunkin’ Donuts franchisees folded their reputation to pull it off, and it didn’t pan the morning going with a kick start from Israel’s Ethnic Restaurant Association. pastry-chef whites a mere five years out,” one ad executive said. “They came sugar-glazed doughnut holes, washed One important element that distin- after opening. Apparently, Israelis do in into Tel Aviv, where coffee-chain compe- down with a Starbucks grande non-fat guishes Israeli food habits is kashrus. fact stop eating doughnuts—usually tition is already at a premium.” latte, hold the foam. At midday, order a Even though a minority of Israelis con- right around the end of Hanukkah. Indeed, the country is chockablock thin-crust, vegetable-loaded extra- sider themselves religious, many more with competing cafes; one popular cheese pizza. For dinner, it’s off to KFC adhere to traditional practices like not chain, Aroma, has been so successful it for a bucket of crispy chicken with a mixing meat and dairy. “If a cheese- decided to branch out to New York. side of mashed potatoes and gravy. burger is a best-seller in the U.S., logic Falafel, it seems, is in Unlike the local cafes, Starbucks also Of course, my fantasy world doesn’t will tell you that it probably won’t go in offered too limited a choice of foods, include cellulite. Israel,” says Volosky. little danger of being some say. But real-life fat content isn’t the Another aspect of the munchies Local competition and Israeli cul- only obstacle to the fulfillment of my market here is the Mediterranean replaced by the burger or ture aside, it appears that at least some cravings, which took root in the red, palate, which some see as being at the chocolate-frosted of a chain’s success may be due to tim- white, and blue land of fast food where odds with the high-fat junk food so ing and luck. After all, California- I was born and bred. That’s because I popular in the United States. “It’s a hot doughnut. based The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf has live in Israel now, and although Israelis country, so we don’t eat a whole lot of about a dozen branches in Israel, and tend to embrace American music, greasy food. Even deep-fried falafel, the country has been home to fashion, and popular entertainment prepared properly, isn’t greasy,” says McDonald’s for years. But time and trends, American food chains have not Nir Zook, chef and owner of Jaffa’s American chains like Ben & Jerry’s, again, food experts and amateurs alike always fared favorably in the land of prestigious Cordelia Restaurant and Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Pizza pointed to the failure of some milk and honey (not to mention falafel Noa Bistro and host of Israeli cooking Hut arrived here in the late 1980s. American fast foods to adapt to the and shwarma). show “Zookaria.” Nowadays, you can buy your B&J ice reality of life in the Middle East, where Ben & Jerry’s shops, Dunkin’ Three years ago, there were only two cream in pint form at the supermarket, falafel, it seems, is in little danger of Donuts, and Starbucks have all made KFC branches, down from eight at its but gone are the branch stores selling being replaced by the burger or the an appearance on the Israeli victuals peak, says Udi Shamai, the CEO and chocolate-coated cones filled with chocolate-frosted doughnut. scene, only to quietly fade away short- owner of the Pizza Hut and KFC Israel generous dips of chunky monkey or In Israel, “you wait a really long ly thereafter. Other restaurants, like franchise. But although he says the chocolate chip cookie dough. And time for American fast food to be Pizza Hut and Kentucky Fried number of branches is climbing again, while there are still 24 Pizza Huts ready,” says Ra’anana resident Peggy Chicken, are still in business but have up to 10, existing branches are continu- across the country, that number is Weinreich, a translator who moved either shut down many of their ing to shut down—even if other ones are down by roughly half since its peak to Israel from Ohio in the late branches or never quite managed to opening elsewhere—which may be con- (though the franchise owner wouldn’t 1970s. “Israelis are used to fast food penetrate the market. tributing to the widespread view of the give an exact number). that is really cheap, like falafel and “In my opinion, the secret to suc- chain as a failure in the Israeli market. Starbucks was perhaps the biggest shwarma.” (Haaretz) O

80 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES YOSS Siddur Celebration Photo By D. Winkler

First-graders at Yeshiva of South Shore celebrate receiving their siddurim with their menahel, Rav Chanina Herzberg, and rebbeim, Rabbi Henoch Gewirtz, Rabbi Nachman Segal, and Rabbi Eli Herzberg. The lavish celebration was complete with music, dancing, pizza, ice cream, other treats, and a special storyteller!

And he called the name of it Sitna (animosity) (Bereishis 26:21) This comes to teach us that there is not a righteous man who does not have detractors. (Midrash HaBiur)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 81 In fact, the “two-state solution” is mistakenly used by Israel’s advocates to justify Israel’s approach to peace— The Two-State Illusion pursued even under fire as a political solution. But when Israel’s advocates B Y NOAM BEDEIN Gaza—this would bring peace and the PA over the past year, even after it support a two-state solution while security to both sides and the firing on was proven that much of this budget S’derot and the western Negev remain In early September 2008, in my Israel would stop.” reaches the hands of Hamas, which under constant missile threat—espe- capacity as the head of the Sderot In other words, firing missiles openly uses these allocations to cially after Israel pulled out all Jewish Media Center, I was invited to take part towards Israel is justified because of finance terrorism. communities and Israeli army bases in a press conference in the Norwegian the lack of a Palestinian state, since When PR firms that represent the from the Gaza Strip in August 2005— capitol of Oslo, together with the the West Bank is still “occupied.” From Israeli government’s policy approach they are simply ignoring the fact that Israeli Ambassador to Oslo, members an Israeli perspective, then, promoting the international media with the claim 7,000 missiles have been fired towards of the Norwegian media and members the “two-state solution” plays into their that Israel must support the “two-state Israel from the de facto Palestinian of the Norwegian Parliament. The title hands and gives Europeans and their solution,” this gives Hamas and all the state spawned in Gaza over the past of the press conference was: “Iran: At three years. S’derot’s Back Door.” That is what a two-state solution It was at that Oslo press confer- means—giving Israel’s enemies a con- ence that the “rocket reality” was venient base from where they can ter- presented before Norwegians for the During the late 1940s, more rorize Israel’s civilian population, in first time, showing the western defiance of international law. The Negev region as the only place in the Western world’s media, and even the Western world where rockets and than 40 million refugees around Israeli media, refer to the West Bank missiles are fired at citizens on and the Gaza Strip, taken by Israel in almost a daily basis. Of these attacks, the world were resettled, except 1967, as the territories that are in dis- 97% are launched by Palestinian pute, while Hamas, all of the other militias from the convenient cover of Palestinian terror groups and the civilian homes in Gaza. Their for one people. Palestinian Authority itself define weapons come directly from Iran, S’derot and the western Negev as with their delivery to Gaza facilitated “occupied territory” as well. They do by Syria and Egypt. This is how not recognize the territory that Israel Hamas became Tehran’s “third arm,” parliamentarians a way to justify ongo- Palestinian terror networks the legiti- acquired in 1948, an integral part of after Hezbollah in Lebanon. ing rocket fire towards Israel. This also macy that they need to continue their the sovereign state of Israel. While Norwegian parliament mem- gives nations around the world a justi- operations against Israeli civilians. In In the words of the press statement bers showed sympathy and said that fication to continue to aid the other words, supporting the two-state that Hamas issued on November 26, they more clearly understood S’derot Palestinian Authority, which now solution supports the financing of ter- 2006, the day before the last ceasefire and Gaza, they also rationalized the receives the largest proportionate aid ror. Therefore, when PR firms advocate commenced (during that ceasefire, Gaza rocket reality with the commonly compared with any people of a similar this Israeli government policy it works which lasted for six months, more than held illusion that “if the Palestinians sized population. against the interests of Israeli society 300 missiles were fired towards Israel): would be able to have their own inde- Indeed, the Norwegian govern- and certainly against the people of “We will not stop firing on the Zionist pendent state—in the West Bank and ment provided 100 million dollars to S’derot and the western Negev. settlement S’derot until the last citizen

82 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES of S’derot leaves.” hoods and Arab villages from 1948 Arab-Israeli conflict, the basics of the tell the world that the Arab League and Meanwhile, the Palestinian that no longer exist. The Palestinian conflicts are not being questioned. its Palestinian terror clients are continu- Authority’s ‘Palestine Map’, which can propaganda line of their “inalienable No nation in the world would tolerate ing the war to obliterate Israel that they be purchased in any PA office, replaces right of return” remains un-addressed even one rocket being launched towards declared in 1948. S’derot with pre-1948 Najd, Ashkelon and, for the most part, recognized by its territory, yet, that is what Israel is The current “ceasefire” with the is replaced by al-Majdal, and Ashdod is every state in the world, which blindly asked to accept as an integral part of its Palestinian regime in Gaza is scheduled replaced by Isdod. votes for annual UN resolutions that existence, since the supposed root of the to end on December 19. After that, The fact is that when Israel was estab- support this specious premise. problem is that the Palestinian Arab everyone expects the Palestinians to lished, and war was forced upon it, terri- While millions of dollars are spent people do not have a state of their own. resume their attacks, in order to “liber- tories were taken by Israel in the Israel to find the best way to ‘please’ the If Israel’s advocates were to make things ate” the rest of Palestine—not to facili- War of Independence. The Palestinian American public with matters of the more understood, we would be able to tate a two-state solution. (Arutz Sheva) O “right of return” refers to the return of Palestinian refugees to the territories of 1948. Meanwhile, the PA schools books show no rights for Jews living in the land of Israel, no mention of the history of the Jews in the land of Israel. These are the basics of the conflict which need to be dealt with. Questions need to be raised, followed by their answers. These basics need to be taught, first of all to Israeli society, the foreign press, parliament members, government officials and world public opinion. By what right was the State of Israel established? What were the historical and legal rights of the Jewish people to the Land of Israel? And why has the Palestinians’ refugee problem persist- ed, like no other in the world? It is the responsibility of anyone who speaks for Israel to emphasize that during the late 1940s, more than 40 million refugees around the world were resettled, except for one people. They remain defined as refugees, wal- lowing 60 years later in 59 UNRWA refugee camps, financed by 400 mil- lion dollars contributed by nations of the world to nurture the promise of the “right of return” to Arab neighbor-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES November 28, 2008 83 84 November 28, 2008 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES