A Publication of Delta Winds San Joaquin Delta College

A Magazine of Student Essays http://www.deltacollege.org/org/ deltawinds. Volume 17 2004 Editors Table of Contents William Agopsowicz Robert Bini 2 Forgotten Children Cassandra J. Eastham discusses the need for child support services and Division Chair explains the procedures involved in collecting support. Communication Skills 6 A Hard Act to Follow Paul Kuehn Karrie L. Bennett narrates the short but accomplished life of her father, a nuclear physicist at Lawrence Livermore Lab. Graphic Design 9 Growing up with Lies Production Katie Williams shares episodes of a child raised by an unreliable parent. Patrick Stapelberg 10 The Burden of Being Black Delta Winds is a publication of student es- George Austin explores language and the underlying connections says from courses at San Joaquin Delta involved with word connotations, race, perception, power, and preju- College. It is published each year by the En- dice. glish Department of San Joaquin Delta College, 5151 Pacific Avenue, Stockton, Cali- 14 My Technologically Challenged Life fornia 95207. The authors certify that their Monica Wunderlich describes a life lacking the influence of the latest writing is their own creation. The views ex- pressed in these essays do not necessarily technology. reflect the opinions of the faculty, the admin- 16 “No.” istration, or the trustees of Delta College. All rights reserved. No part of this publication L. Hoag questions why so many people in his life pressure him to get a may be reproduced for profit in any form or haircut. by any means without written permission. 21 Parental Advisory Lorrie Condon heeds a mother’s warning not a moment too soon. 23 Prescription Drug Ads: Letter from Too Much Information? the Editors Bryan Tortolani criticizes pharmaceutical companies for pushing drugs through television advertisements. In this year’s volume of Delta Winds, students 26 The Day I Died of San Joaquin Delta College share their con- cerns about the social injustice of capital Daniel Maychen returns to his childhood memory of the tragic loss of a punishment, about the difficulties involved in family member. collecting child support, about the questionable role of media advertising for drug companies, 28 The All-American Prospect and about language, perception, and the asso- Samuel S. Barbano compares the views held by Henry Thoreau and ciation of words with negative meanings to a Benjamin Franklin on extravagance and industry. group of people. These student-writers show their ability to synthesize articles in specific sub- 30 The Best Thing ject areas and to formulate original findings Angela Quinones relates the events in her life that led her away from based on this research. In other works in this magazine, students discuss the complexities of and back to her chosen path and place. family roles and ties. For one author, her fa- 33 The Death Penalty: ther is a genius; for another, her mother is a liar. Some parents described in these essays pro- Society’s Injustice System vide comfort and guidance while others appear trapped by the consequences of their lives. Nev- Alisha Ott argues against capital punishment on moral, practical, and ertheless, the loss of parental figures looms large economic grounds. in the formulation of some of these writers’ lives. Still other writers in Delta Winds express them- 37 King of the Road selves through humorous anecdotes that reveal L. Hoag relishes his independence on an open, isolated road as he a sharp eye for the incongruities in our culture watches the invading construction crews. and society. The creativity evident in these au- tobiographical works shows the community that 39 What Did You Say? an artistic sense has not been lost. The blend Lorrie Condon expresses the frustrations of learning the complexities of of seriousness and sadness, of joy and nostal- gia makes this volume both compelling and American slang. illuminating. by Cassandra J. Eastham Forgotten Children

We pay before we pump the gas, we work before we receive the paycheck, and we must pass the exam before we My sons and I get the grade. It’s legal and it’s fair. It’s unfortunate that people are not have dipped required to raise a child before they are awarded an orgasm. A moment of under the romance results in a life-long respon- sibility. Some planned on it, and some tried to do the “right thing,” but when poverty line the romance ends, when the marriage is over, when the reality of responsi- more than once. bility becomes unbearable, it is too easy to leave those responsibilities, those children, to somebody else. Even single women managed to collect $7,494 a year more than single mothers” Cassandra J. Eastham is a I suffered from serial monogamous (Watnik 339). California native but calls a relationships for ten years, and, as a Why? “Despite efforts to increase military base her “home result, I have two very different child support cases that I struggle with every awards, the average amount received is town.” She spent a tour of day. The primary reason I kicked these less than half of what it costs to actually duty during, but not in, the men out of my home was that it was raise a child” (Watnik 333). Why? “Sev- enty-five percent of women on AFDC Gulf War, and eight years easier to raise and support my children without them. Each had decided he (Aid to Families with Dependent afterward discovering that she could not handle the stress of supporting Children, also known as welfare) [are didn’t like working in a household, so he just stopped. I spent receiving] public services because the absent parent of their children is unable electronics. Now she is years trying to talk to, convince, coerce, assist, con, plea, support, get on my or refuses to pay child support” (Spence pursuing a college education knees and beg each man to stop neglect- 153) Why? Is it the laws or is it the and a chance to write ing the child, to get a job, and to stop fathers? professionally, a chance that spending money on computer games and pornography. There was nothing I could The laws, at least in California, seem to she never had before. She lives do to get their help while they were still be in place. The California Family Code in Manteca with her two sons. in my home, and I was naïve enough to Section 4053 states that, think the laws would help me retrieve financial assistance from both fathers In implementing the statewide uniform once they were gone. [child support] guideline, the courts shall adhere to the following principles: My sons and I have dipped under the (a) A parent’s first and principal obligation poverty line more than once. We have is to support his or her minor chil- frequently gone without daycare, dental dren according to the parent’s work, clothing, food and a place to live. circumstances and station in life. It turns out that my situation is not (b) Both parents are mutually responsible unique. “Child support payments, which for the support of their children. are intended to provide economic (c) The guideline takes into account resources and security to youngsters, are each parent’s actual income and level often made irregularly, partially, or in of responsibility for the children. many instances not at all” (Kalter 10). (d) Each parent should pay for the Why? “Married couples brought in support of the children according to $28,168 a year more than single mothers. his or her ability. Delta Winds page 2 (e) The guideline seeks to place the ing two people who are already at odds interests of children as the state’s top with each other to cooperatively discuss priority. money matters is like pouring gasoline onto a fire. Luckily, the laws in Califor- The process to collect child support also nia have changed, and the amount of seems to be very simple. One must first child support is now calculated by the locate the other parent, establish pater- courts. The three key factors in deciding nity if the other parent is male, establish the amount are income of both parents, a support order and then have that percent of visitation of both parents, support order enforced. and price of childcare.

Locating the other parent can be diffi- The last step, enforcing the support, is cult if the custodial parent has no legal not something the custodial parents can data on him such as social security do themselves. They must rely on the number, driver’s license number or place District Attorney’s Family Support of birth, but locating the other parent Division to enforce a support order for can be simple if the custodial parent is them; however, the real responsibility of still in touch with him. Still, in order to expediting a court order lies on the enforce the support, the government shoulders of the custodial parent needs to know more than simply where (Watnik 310). Raising a child is not easy the parent is. It is customary to fill out with two parents involved; but raising a more detailed information on a case file, child alone requires a superhero effort. such as the parent’s place of business, That single parent now has to be the the license plate and model of the car he mom and the dad, the disciplinarian and drives, any assets or real estate the the nurturer, the teacher and the parent owns, names and locations of the playmate, the taxi driver, the house- grandparents and so forth. The more keeper, the cook, and the breadwinner. information collected at this point, the Society does not generally call single smoother the process will be. parents superheroes because it plainly cannot be done. On top of all that, these Next, legal paternity must be established single parents are forced to tack on the if the non-custodial parent is the father. duties of legal secretaries in order to get If the father is present at the child’s the help they desperately need. birth, hospitals establish paternity while issuing the birth certificate. If the However grave the problem may be parents are married, it is assumed the now, the history of child support has not husband is the father unless legally been without its occasional legal adjust- contested and proven otherwise. ment. The federal and state govern- ments have gone through great pains to Once the other parent is located and is support the needs of single parent legally recognized as the child’s parent, a families. “Despite custody orders, child support order must be awarded. If collection of child support long relied the child is a product of the marriage, heavily on voluntary cooperation and child support orders are often estab- was rarely enforced . . . . It took many lished at the time of the divorce. Histori- years of seeing women and children cally, the amount was determined by an intolerably impoverished before people agreement between the parents before realized that a system of child support the divorce was filed in court through a would not work without serious enforce- Marriage Settlement Agreement. Forc- ment measures” (Wallerstein 251). The However grave the problem may be now, the history of child support has not been without its occasional legal adjustment.

Delta Winds page 3 AFDC was established during the Great In short, authorities have tried to write Depression to help single parents who child support laws to carry the same were not receiving support. A Head of weight of responsibility as actually Household status has been added for raising children: you cannot get rid of filing taxes. In 1996, Congress passed them, it is very bad if you fail, and the the Personal Responsibility Act for duty does not expire. Why, then, “when tracking down and enforcing payment the Census Bureau surveyed child from fathers (Mink 69). support collections, they found that only 51% of the parents received full pay- ments, 24% received partial payments, Why don’t and 25% received no payments at all” (Watnik 303)? Why don’t parents want parents want to to support their children? There are a lot of miserable excuses, but the top 5 support their reasons why parents don’t pay child support fall into the following categories. children? The non-custodial parent: • wants to “get even” because visitation Orders can be enforced by wage with- is frustrated or denied holding, wage garnishment, writ of • believes that the other parent should garnishment for personal property, a be the sole supporter of the children creditor’s bill if assets have been signed • wants the other parent to get a job away to a third party, and even a till tap • is convinced the children don’t need in which authorities can empty the cash the money register of a business the parent owns. • doesn’t like to be ordered to do Orders can also be enforced through a anything (Watnik 313) diversion of government benefits: child support can be deducted from unem- Despite the laws, fathers have side- ployment compensation, worker’s stepped child support because the sense compensation, pension, retirement fund, of responsibility is just not there. Per- trust, social security, disability and tax haps the laws should be even tougher. refund. Up to 55% of the obligor’s wages Welfare mothers are sometimes given can be withheld in all states (Watnik court ordered birth control. Why is it 311). A non-custodial parent failing to that fathers who deliberately fail to pay produce a good reason for failing to pay support for their children are not? past due child support is now charged with civil contempt of court. “Criminal Every time I balance my checkbook, I prosecution for non support means the thank the powers that be that I miscarried paying parent is accused of criminally the pregnancy in the marriage that neglecting the child by failing to pay occurred between leaving Frank and support” (Watnik 313). Delinquency of meeting Jim. It is as bitterly ironic as it over $1000 is, by law, reported to the sounds. Credit Bureau, and a bankruptcy does not absolve the non-custodial parent of Looking back, I can only say that, if I past due amounts. Driver’s licenses, had known they would fail in their business licenses and even fishing responsibilities, I would not have tan- licenses can be revoked. “The judge can goed with them in the first place. I have order extra child support payments to already cut a lot of fat from my financial make up the difference, require that a worries. No one is spending my pay- bond be posted, or even send the parent check behind my back. No one is to jail until back payments are made” beating or neglecting the boys while I (Watnik 313). Furthermore, there is no am at work. There are no mysterious statute of limitations for back-owed purchases showing up at my door and no child support. Whatever monies were 1-976-HOT-SEXX numbers showing up not paid to the child before the child on my phone bill. I feel a great deal of turned 18 will continue to be owed to security just knowing that my children the child after age 18, after the child is are actually receiving every resource I adopted, married, and to the next of kin can provide. when the child dies. Delta Winds page 4 It is easy to want to blame laws, society, bureaucracy or the fathers themselves for the lack of support, but trying to force people to accept the virtue of responsibility would take far more than laws and consequences.

I am very and most permanently single. Works Cited From this position, it is easy to want to Calfornia Family Code Section 4053, hate all men, but I cannot, for I am www.findlaw.com. raising two boys to become men. It is Edelman, Marian Wright and Robert M. Solow. easy to want to blame laws, society, Wasting America’s Future – The Children’s bureaucracy or the fathers themselves for Defense Fund Report on the Costs of Child the lack of support, but trying to force Poverty. Beacon Press, Boston MA 1994. people to accept the virtue of responsi- Mink, Gwendolyn. Welfare’s End. Cornell bility would take far more than laws and University Press, Ithica, NY 1998. consequences. It would take a bunch of big miracles. I will continue to wiggle my Kalter, Neil. Growing up with Divorce. The Free Press, A Division of Macmillan Inc. New York, way through the red tape, and the NY 2000. fathers may pay up eventually, but I can no longer hold my breath. Spence, Simone. Deadbeats- What responsible parents need to know about collecting child support. Sourcebooks Inc, Naperville IL 2000. Fighting to squeeze blood from an unyielding stone requires a lot more Wallerstein, Judith S., Julia M Lewis and Sandra energy, time, money, and patience than Blakesule. The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce- any single parent has to offer. Instead of The 25 Year Landmark Study. Hyperion New York, NY 2000. spending these precious resources on making my exes pay, I feel they are Watnik, Webster. better spent on raising the children my Child Custody Made Simple. Single Parent Press, exes forgot. Claremont CA 2001.

Perhaps that is why.

…child support can be deducted from unemployment compensation, worker’s compensation, pension, retirement fund, trust, social security, disability and tax refund.

Delta Winds page 5 by Karrie L. Bennett A Hard Act to Follow

The beautifully diverse quilt of that at times he could barely meet his humankind is intricately woven with own expectations. I’m not sure if people people from every walk of life. Each of genius make a conscious decision to thread represents a trait carried down be this way or if it is an innate character- from generation to generation. istic. Perhaps it is a combination of both. Diversity can be seen in age, intelli- However, I do know that my father was gence, beauty, culture, lifestyle and driven by some unseen force to surpass numerous other characteristics. There even his own boundaries. In all the are “teachers and learners,” “parents things my father did in his very short and children,” “lovers and haters,” forty-three years, he shone brighter than and the wonderfully gifted individuals anyone around him. known as the “Geniuses.” The con- cept of genius means something He enlisted in the United States Army. different to every person but can be Determined to be the best, he excelled found in every culture. There are at every aspect of his military career. great thinkers from our past, such as Honorably discharged as a corporal with Karrie L. Bennett is a single Beethoven, Einstein, and Freud. The special training as a paratrooper, he re- mother of Courtney, 22, geniuses of today include Bill Gates, enlisted for another eighteen months in Stephen, 19, and Cheyanna, Martin Luther King and even Eminem. order to get a college fund. Once he left the army, he married my mother and set 12. Her major is psychology They strive to reach different goals, but out for college. with a pre-law minor. She will in their struggles a connection to each be receiving her A. A. in May other sets them apart from everyone He started small, enrolling in Camron else. All of these people have one thing Junior College in his hometown in 2004 and will transfer to in common: the complete and consum- Oklahoma. But he yearned for more. He UOP in the fall. After ing drive to succeed at any cost. With showed such determination in the field completing her bachelor’s genius come many things both good and of mathematics that he received a bad — notoriety, wealth, satisfaction, and scholarship to Colorado College. His life degree, Kerrie plans to attend isolation, loneliness, exhaustion, and plans were to be a high school math law school in the San illness. Some give up everything for the teacher and football coach. While at Francisco Bay Area. Her “cause,” even their lives. Geniuses Colorado College, my father excelled become so devoted to what they are academically and was noticed by many career goal is to become a doing that it envelops them. Many people of his faculty and administrators. As a criminal defense attorney. will never have the chance to meet Phi Beta Kappa, he graduated second in someone of true genius, but I had the his class, with two bachelor degrees, one distinct honor of being related to such a in mathematics and the other in physics. person: my father, Walter P. Bennett. It was at this point that his life took another turn, a turn that would eventu- My father was a genius. He did every- ally kill him. He was offered a full thing in his life with pride and determi- scholarship to study health physics at nation. In fact, he set his bar so high Vanderbilt University in Nashville, My mother was looking forward to children, and my father wanted to change the world.

Delta Winds page 6 Tennessee. He jumped at the chance. He was completely driven. He no longer wanted to teach; he wanted to be a Health Physicist and he would do any- thing to succeed.

In Nashville, my father continued his ever-growing knowledge. My mom was their financial support, working as a receptionist at a small recording studio. Nashville was a hot spot for new talent in country music. It was at that small studio that she met “The King,” Elvis Presley. To my mom, this made all of her hard work worth it. While my mom was meeting legends, my father was becoming one — to me at least — although I slowly dying. My parents wanted to find wouldn’t be born for a few more years. a perfect environment in which to raise As always, my father threw himself into me and soon decided that Las Vegas his education at Vanderbilt, but he also wasn’t that environment. We moved to found time to play on the football team what I consider my hometown: there. He excelled at both and graduated Livermore, California. with honors with a master’s degree in health physics. Now my parents’ future Livermore was a very safe, semi-wealthy was set. suburban community in the Bay Area. The town offered many things to our This was a wondrous time for both of my young family, such as friends and a parents; they were starting a new life. wonderful new church that kept both of My mother was looking forward to my parents busy. We settled into our children, and my father wanted to custom built, three bedroom home and change the world. I often wonder if they lived a very peaceful life. As it turned would have changed the course of their out, I would be my parents’ only child. I lives if they could have seen their future. realized early on that my father was a If they could have known that my workaholic because he wasn’t home very father’s passion for his career would much, or at least it seemed to me that eventually cause his death, would they way. My father was so very driven that it have changed anything? I would like to wasn’t long before he was promoted to believe that if he had known he wouldn’t the position of Senior Health Physicist get to see me grow up, he would have in charge of the Hazards Control made many changes. But in all honesty, Department at the Lawrence Livermore I’m not sure because the mind of a Laboratory. This prestigious position genius is far too complex for me to made my father proud but also put him comprehend. in a harmful setting. In charge of any nuclear accident cleanup, he would be My parents embarked on a new life in sent all over the world, gone for weeks Idaho Falls, where I was conceived and or even months at a time. I started to where my father received his first mas- realize how important my father was, sive dose of radiation. He probably knew but I didn’t know that I would only have that he had been exposed, but he didn’t three more years to spend with him. stop working. My parents moved to Las Vegas where my father continued his He made many classified missions for career as a health physicist and my our government. When he came home, mother gave birth to me. My father also he would bring us wonderful gifts from continued to receive various amounts of the regions he had come from. That was radiation at the Nevada Test Site. As my our only clue as to his whereabouts. father was making a name for himself in Every one of these “missions” further the world of nuclear physics, he was exposed him to radiation. We took Delta Winds page 7 family vacations at least twice a year, but older, but when I did begin to under- my father’s work was his priority. He stand, I realized that the life of a genius wanted to find a safe way to dispose of wasn’t any life at all. My father spent nuclear waste and he eventually did. He most of his time among people he spent much of his time at work develop- worked with, not the people he loved ing a nuclear waste containment center and who loved him back. He was driven that would later be named after him, to succeed and he did. “The Bennett Bucket.” The Bennett

He spent much of his time at work developing a nuclear waste containment center that would later be named Bucket, used in the 1960s and 1970s, My father was a prominent man in our after him, was very successful. community and very respected by his peers. We had to have three funerals just My father compromised a lot to achieve to accommodate all of the people who “The his goals; he gave up his time with his wanted to pay their respects to him. My family and his friends, and he gave up father left behind a legacy of knowledge. Bennett his life. In 1972 he was diagnosed with But he died alone, and I think he wanted leukemia and lymphoma. He went it that way, for that is the way of the Bucket.” through rigorous treatments of chemo- genius, and this is something most therapy and, ironically, radiation treat- people will never understand. Every day ments. This, coupled with three surger- I think about my daddy and miss him. ies, still couldn’t save my father’s life. Sometimes I find myself so driven by my Although he was gravely ill, he contin- own desires that I have to stop and ued to work. His condition worsened remember that it takes a very special until he had to be hospitalized perma- person to fill the shoes of a genius. I nently. I could no longer see him. His don’t want to be that person. I still wish kidneys eventually failed, and he lived we could have had more time together, on a dialysis machine and life support but the genius takes that time away from system. He became weaker and weaker. us all. We had lost so much time and now there was no time left. In the end he died exactly as he lived, alone. I didn’t understand all of this until I was much Delta Winds page 8 By Growing up Katie Williams with Lies

When I was seven, my mom sat me and coming home, she would tell me that my brother and sister down and told us she never said that. After a while, I she had cancer and had six months to got tired of her lies and stopped live. My mom is still alive today. My accepting her phone calls. mother is the biggest liar I know. Even today, as a grandmother of twelve, she When I moved back to Stockton, I lies about almost everything. would speak to my mom on occa- sions. Every time I saw or talked to Growing up with a mother for a liar was her I caught her in lies. She lied hard. I learned early in life how lies could about buying houses or being sick have devastating repercussions. Due to from some disease that I had never my mom’s lies I had to grow up without even heard of. When I confronted her my family. I had a lot of emotional about a lie, she acted as if she could problems as a teenager. I had to learn not remember telling me those not to get attached to people because I things. The most recent lie my never stayed in the same place for a long mother has told was that she lost her time. Even as an adult, I have a hard memory. She even had the nurses Katie Williams is 27 years time trusting people. I found out my believing it. We caught her when we old. She has four kids and mom was a liar when I was nine. I came brought my niece Estella to the hospital home from school one day to find my to visit her. We called my niece Estella attends Delta College to get mother having an affair. She told me the “Wella” as a nickname. We introduced her nursing degree. She works man was just a friend, but two weeks my niece to my mom as Estella; she at San Joaquin General later we moved in with him. That was then turned to her and said, “Hi Wella when I knew my mom was a liar. Wella.” We all knew she was lying. We Hospital as a medical all got quiet and one by one left the assistant. Earlier, I remember my mom telling us hospital room. I have never confronted lies. She once told us that she was my mom about it. I did not talk to my redecorating Clint Eastwood’s house. mom after that for a year. I was hurt She took us to Oxford Circle where she that my mom would lie about something said he lived and showed us a house. I so serious. remember being excited and wanting to meet him. We begged my mom to get an It is hard as an adult to know you don’t autograph, but she never did. I found have a mother you can depend on for out she was lying from a neighbor who things. I can’t take my kids to her house said Clint Eastwood did not live in for her to baby-sit or even to have Stockton. My mom never brought it up Sunday dinners with. I barely speak to again. She said she had to quit working my mother. The only time she ever calls That was because she was sick and was unable to me is when the rest of the family won’t decorate houses anymore. speak to her because they have caught when I knew her in a lie. I once confronted my mom My mom gave me up when I was ten. I about the lies she told. She blames it on my mom was lived with my grandmother until I was her childhood. She had a mother that was eleven. Then I was shipped out of town a liar and taught her how to lie. I’m glad a liar. to live with my aunt. While I lived with in some ways that my mom gave me up. my aunt, my mom used to call me I think if I had stayed with her I would periodically and tell me to pack my stuff, have ended up like her. I don’t know if and that she wanted me home. I would my mom will ever change. I still catch pack my stuff and wait. Two months her in lies today. She is and will always passed before I would hear anything be the biggest liar I will ever know. from her. When I asked her about me Delta Winds page 9 by George Austin The Burden of Being Black

Sit a spell as I tell you a once upon a on racist ideas through the society. tale The haunting story of a young boy However, before dealing with the burden waiting to exhale . . . of blackness, let us dive into what race It didn’t take him very long to sense really is. Some believe that race is a the naked truth biological term, understandably so. People with similar physical appearance, To smell the stench of ghetto hood such as eye shape or color, could be that smoked from every roof assumed to be of the same heritage, but He grew up in a world of crack and this is not always true. According to the beer canned coated streets authors of Intercultural Competence, Where twenty-one was old and “Albert Einstein is credited to “Contrary to popular notions . . . race is wacked and college was unique . . . not primarily a biological term; it is a have once said,‘only a life in political and societal one that was the service of others is worth But in his mind it wasn’t lost, the one invented to justify economic and social undeniable fact living,’ and I too, have distinctions. . . . One’s ‘race’ is best That in a land of justice for all, he always understood as a social and legal con- adopted this mindset as my would be black struction” (32). Since race is not inher- own,” says George Austin. This vivid truth held him inside his self ent or “naturally ordained” but a social inflicted prison With plans of a double major and legal construction, the use of this Afraid to peep out of his cave, afraid to term is subjective. One’s “blackness” or in sociology and psychology, share his vision . . . “whiteness” is dependent on how society and a goal of an eventual defines it. —Author Unknown Ph.D. in sociology, George What are white and black anyway? As Austin plans to use the “But in his mind it wasn’t lost, the one people of different origins and of differ- knowledge and experience undeniable fact/That in a land of justice ent heritages, the average American is a for all he would always be black.” gained to serve his immediate “mutt” (of mixed ancestry). What defines During the 1300s, from Europe to Asia, what “race” the average American is or community as well as the a deadly disease known as the Black what race you are? The color you turn larger. Essentially, during and Death swept through, in some cases out to be? Is Stacy, a person who is wiping out entire towns. Black magic is after his life he wants the ninety-five percent “white” and five the “evil” practice of witchcraft; a black percent “black,” considered black world to have benefited from lung is a chronic disease of the lungs because the genes in her happen to be his existence. The inspiration mostly associated with coal miners; the stronger on the African-American side black market is filled with all kinds of of this piece comes from two and show up more? What about Jared, illegal activity; and black humor or “sick who is of equal mixture and who turns semesters of African-American humor” is humor that is perceived as out visibly “white”? What is he? The key History, one semester of morbid, nasty, psychopathic and twisted. is that the terms “white” and “black” are Who in their right mind would choose to Intercultural Communication, nothing but what society has created be the black sheep of their family and them to be and mean. Let’s return to the one semester of Sociology, community? Let us not forget that no issue of what’s wrong with being black. several books, prose, and one would ever want to fall into a black hole from which even light cannot magazines read at his leisure, The problem is not with being of African escape. What do these words have to do descent or of having a certain skin color and “a lifetime (19 years) of with the burden of being black? Every- and hair texture, but being black. While experience as an African- thing! The English language itself is searching through several dictionaries biased, and the process of learning the American male.” and thesauruses, I found a common language teaches prejudice and passes feature, an interesting tone of negativity Delta Winds page 10 in words associated with the term words can kill, words can soothe, words “black”: mourning, gloomy, dismal, have power. The Bible says, “life and cheerless, dark, bad, evil, wicked, sullen, death is in the power of the tongue” angry, grim, villainous, hostile, sinister, (Proverbs 18.21). Literally, is that saying threatening, soiled, dirty, unclean, grimy, that you can murder someone by saying filthy, obscure, slander, tarnish, immoral, so? Of course not. But words do have a unchaste, carnal, indecent, lascivious, great influence on perception, self-worth vile, lustful, foul, nasty, depressive, and life. Entire wars have been fought discouraging, funeral, oppressive, coarse, and genocide has been committed on raging, furious, rough, vulgar, ugly, the passing of ideas through words. For joyless, cold, barbaric. And, as if the example, Adolf Hitler led Nazi Ger- name-calling had not been bad enough, many into an attempt of total annihila- black is unholy too! However, not all tion of a group of people. He did so societies operate with the same etymol- with the power of words. Anyone who ogy and color associations. For instance, has been the victim of the sinful sym- white is the color for weddings in west- phony of the words nigger, fag, kike, ern societies, but for funerals in Chinese homo, spick, etc. can understand the culture; red is associated with rage in power therein, the frustration caused, America but with happiness in China, the hurt and the long lasting pain. illustrating that these meanings are not so much “written in stone” but are just According to Annette T. Rottenberg, cultural and societal inventions. “[E]ven to a small child it is clear that ugly words are as painful as sticks and The words change, but the underlying stones and that the injuries are some- meanings are the same from black, to time more lasting” (238). Words, nigger, to negro (which is Latin for however, are not the whole story, for black), to colored, to people of color, to they, like us, are just pawns in the game, persons of color, to Afro- American and just a part of the system of communica- to African American. While some of tion. Communication is highly subjec- these words are extremely offensive and tive, through the eyes of society. Lustig some are not offensive, all do the job of and Koester state, “People must share a separation. Whatever the name is, set of symbols, socially defined, learned underneath, the person of African representations for meaning” (137). descent is still black in society’s eyes. They continue, “Symbols are words, These words and associations with color actions, or objects that stand for or affect the well being of the person who represent a unit of meaning. The happens to be black and affect the relationship between symbols and what society that sees the person through a they stand for is often highly arbitrary” tainted vision. (207). There are two points that are quite interesting about the subjective We are sometimes taught that nature of communication: first, it is “sticks and stones may break our bones, socially defined, and, second, it is often but words may never hurt me.” Although highly arbitrary or unrelated to what it we wish that were true, sadly it is not; stands for. This brings up an interesting

Is Stacy, a person who is ninety- five percent “white” and five percent “black,” considered black because the genes in her happen to be stronger on the African- American side and show up more?

Delta Winds page 11 For instance, white is the color for weddings in western societies, but for funerals in Chinese culture; red is associated with rage in America but with happiness in China, illustrating that these meanings are not so much “written in stone” but are just cultural and societal inventions.

dilemma. If communication is socially defined and usually unrelated to what it Could our language reflect a greater stands for, then why does “black” have dilemma within the societal structures of all these negatives meanings associated our “Great Nation”? Could this obvious with it? What does it say about our dissent for black reflect years of past culture? Could it be that some of our pain and injustice? Could this be a problems with discrimination have been window into the “soul” of present-day indiscriminately passed on through America, to get past the propaganda of concepts of negativity toward people of “life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness” African descent? And how does that and “all men are created equal”? Could affect our schema? this illuminate the inequalities built into the social structure of the United States The authors of Sociology For a New of America? The answers are yes, yes, Century believe “Every language has its yes, and yes! Most people want to unique features and ways of allowing believe that they are unbiased, but the those who speak it to identify specific fact is we are all guilty either consciously objects and experiences. These linguistic or unconsciously. Our language teaches features, which distinguish each lan- us to be. When we begin associating guage from all others, affect how the concepts with people, problems truly speakers of the language perceive and begin. Some may contend that they are experience the world” (Bradshaw et. al. immune and have the ability to move 217). The essence of the message is that past these obstacles and not be affected. our views differ with experience, educa- This may be true, but it may not be true. tion, and language. Language is more than just a tool used to express; it helps Just like Pavlov’s dogs, our minds can be shape the world we see. What if black “conditioned” to respond in certain ways, were no longer the color of death, but either consciously or subconsciously. The white was? How would a simple change word black is synonymous with negative like that affect how we see the world? It things in our culture, from death to dirty, could be imagined that it would greatly from foul to unholy. This word, which is affect our world. Let us look at the word basically a curse, is then placed upon a black once again. What would this whole group of people. Each time the country be like if the meanings of white negative associations are presented, we, and black were switched? If black were the culture and society, become more pure, clean, undefiled, and cheerful, and more “conditioned” to prejudice. how would that change the way we view Each time, we begin to subconsciously “black” people? It is a huge mistake to transfer the “evils” of blackness to the believe that language has no role in our person and the group. experience and view of our world, because it is one of the first teachers to “Your thoughts are based on the lan- dictate good and bad, positive and guage that you acquire through your negative. Sadly, in our language, black culture, and this ongoing inner speech has been given the short end of the reflects higher-order cognitive process” stick. (Gazzaniga and Heatherton 375). Delta Winds page 12 Simply stated, your language and all its flaws shape your thought pattern, including what is good or bad and who is What if black good or bad. “Henri Tajfel argues that humans categorize themselves and were no longer others into different groups to simplify their understanding of people. When you the color of think of someone as part of a particular social group, you associate that person with the values of that group” (Lustig death, but white and Koester). It’s a process of associa- tion, a process of associating black, an was? How abstract word, to negative meanings, of associating abstract meanings to some- would a simple thing tangible: a real live person and a group of people. change like that W.E.B. DuBois articulated it well in The affect how we Souls of Black Folk. Du Bois, the first person of African descent to receive a Ph.D. from Harvard, a prominent civil see the world? rights leader of his day, spoke of a “duality” with African-Americans con- sciousness. This duality was a result of Works Cited being “black” and “American,” torn Bradshaw, York W., Joseph F. Healey, and between two entities, one in which you Rebecca Smith. Sociology for a New Century. are supposed “to have certain unalien- Boston: Pine Forge Press, 2001. able rights” and the other in which you DuBois, W.E.B. The Souls of Black Folk. 1903. are “perceived through the veil” as less New York: Bantam, 1989. than (DuBois 45). The problem is not just in the language. It goes much Gazzaniga, Michael, and Todd F. Heatherton. Psychological Science. New York: W.W. Norton & deeper. A word without meaning is just Company, 2003. that, a word. A meaning without associa- tion to something tangible is just a Holy Bible: New Living Translation. Wheaton: meaning. The issue comes into play Tyndale, 1996. when associating the meaning of the Lustig, Myron W., and Jolene Koester. word to something tangible, and, most Intercultural Competence. 4th ed. San Francisco: important, associating the meaning to a Allyn and Bacon, 2003. human being. As the unknown poet said, Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary Online. in his mind it wasn’t lost, the one unde- niable fact/That in a land of justice for Rottenberg, Annette T. Elements of Argument. 7th all, he always would be BLACK.” ed. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2003.

If communication is socially defined and usually unrelated to what it stands for, then why does “black” have all these negatives meanings associated with it? What does it say about our culture?

Delta Winds page 13 by Monica Wunderlich MY TECHNOLOGICALLY CHALLENGED LIFE Monica Wunderlich has It probably seems easy for someone to hours at our friends’ houses, because use a computer to solve a task or call a their parents were nice to them and attended Delta College since friend on a cellular phone for the bought computers. The only problem 1998. Since this essay she has solution. I, however, do not have access was that our friends had lives and moved to San Francisco’s to such luxuries. My home, workplace, weren’t always around at our disposal. So and automobile are almost barren of Plan B for essay completion was using a Haight-Ashbury district to anything electronic. It’s not as if I don’t cheesy electronic word processor that my continue on with her college want technology in my life, but I feel as dad had borrowed from my grandparents career (and she even bought if technology has taken on the role of a to supposedly “help us out.” This beast rabbit, and I am the fox with three legs of a machine wasn’t much help, though, herself a computer!). that just can’t seem to get it. And after because it was a pain in the neck to use. many useless attempts at trying to figure It had a teeny tiny little screen that it out, I have almost given up. wouldn’t show the entire typed line, so by the time the line was printed, I’d find In my house, technology does not exist, about ten uncorrected mistakes, and I’d at least not for my parents. In fact it was have to start over. However, nothing is 1995 when my father finally had to part permanent and walls do come down, and with his beloved rotary phone, not so be it — the Wunderlichs buy their because it was worn out, but because it first computer! Two years after I gradu- would not work with the new automated ate high school. As of yet, we still do not However, menus that companies were using. have the Internet. Reaching an actual person was difficult nothing is the old way because of the physical My job is another place where technol- impossibility of being able to push 1, 2, ogy is lacking. I work in a home for the permanent or 3 when a phone possesses no buttons. elderly, and I take care of about eight to It was quite embarrassing, especially ten patients a night. I have to take some since I was fifteen and all of my friends of these patients’ vital signs, and I speak and walls do had “normal” phones. My dad’s biggest on behalf of anyone who has ever argument was that “It’s a privacy issue. worked in the medical profession when I come down, No one can tap into our phone calls and say that the most efficient way to take listen to our conversations.” Well, the vital signs is electronically. However, my and so be it last time I had checked, none of us were employers do not grant us the equip- trafficking dope. ment for electronic vitals. We are still — the using glass thermometers, which are not I also had the privilege of not using a only a waste of time (3 seconds vs. 3 Wunderlichs computer. It was hard going through minutes for an oral temp), but they are high school without one, for I had many extremely dangerous. Residents are teachers who demanded many essays known to bite down on the thermom- buy their from me. Yet I had no way to type them. eters, exposing themselves to harmful My sister was in the same boat, so we mercury. I can’t even begin to count how first tried tag-teaming my parents into many thermometers I have dropped and getting us a computer. But to no avail. broken since I’ve worked there. One computer! We kept getting things like “They’re too time I dropped a thermometer and expensive,” or “We have no room for didn’t realize I had broken it. So I picked one,” or “We’ll get one later.” Later! My it up to shake it down, but instead I parents should have just said NEVER! flung mercury everywhere. An electronic So my sister and I resorted to spending thermometer just makes more sense Delta Winds page 14 when trying to make the residents’ roll down my window, I have to turn a environment as safe as possible. crank. My car did not come with a CD player, so I shelled out $500 for one. I’ve We also have to use manual blood had this stereo since last May, and I still pressure cuffs. They’re just the normal can’t figure out how to set the clock or It was quite cuffs that are wrapped around the arm, preset stations. Volkswagen technology pumped up, and read using the bouncing could not stop my car from exercising its embarrassing, needle. The problem is that none of our “check engine light” once every three blood pressure cuffs are calibrated weeks. Even though the design techs correctly, and the needles are way out of included a cute warning light, my blood especially kilter. This makes it impossible to get an still boiled every time the light would accurate reading. An ingenious solution come on proudly, and I made yet since I was would be digital cuffs, but that is highly another pilgrimage to the dealership… unlikely. Actually, the home did try to on my day off. It would be nice if my car fifteen and supply some digital cuffs, but they were came equipped with one of those Global stolen. One man’s sticky fingers equals Positioning System things as well. I am all of my inconvenience for the rest of us, and the really good at getting lost, and if I had home no longer supplied us with such one of these systems a year ago, I would friends had time-saving technology. Using manual not have found myself driving over both equipment is hard not only for us but also the Bay Bridge and the Golden Gate for the nurses. The care home does not Bridge when I was supposed to be on the “normal” allow feeding machines in the facility, yet Richmond Bridge. (Ironically enough, I people who need to be fed by a stomach did this during the weekend that terror- phones. tube are still admitted. This means that ists were supposed to be blowing up the the nurses have to allot a special time Bay and Golden Gate Bridges.) And if I from their med pass to hook up a syringe had had any passengers while tempting to the patient’s stomach tube and pour fate that day, I could have kept them their “steak dinner in a can” down the distracted from the fact that we were tube little by little. This tedious process lost (and possibly going to die) by takes about twenty minutes, and nurses letting them watch a movie on one of don’t really have twenty minutes to those in-car DVD players. But of course throw around, so it really crowds their I don’t have an in-car DVD player, so schedules. If we had feeding machines, my hypothetical passengers would the nurses would only have to change a probably have been frantic. bag when a machine beeps. Problem solved if things went my way. No matter how much technology is out there, I seem to be getting through the Another part of my life that is techno- day without most of it. It would seem logically crippled is my car. As much as I hard to imagine someone else living like my car, I still think it could use a few without such modern conveniences, more bells and whistles. I drive a 2002 and, yes, at times I feel very primitive. Volkswagen Jetta, which would probably However, I am slowly catching on to make the reader think “Oh, a new car. what’s new out there even though There must be plenty of technology in incorporating every modern conve- that new car.” My answer to that is “No, nience into my day is out of the ques- there isn’t.” The only technology is the 5 tion. I am learning even though it is at a billion standard airbags for when I do snail’s pace. Hopefully I’ll have it all something really stupid. Other than that figured out by the time cars fly, or else I I have to shift it manually. If I want to will be walking. One man’s sticky fingers equals inconvenience for the rest of us, and the home no longer supplied us with such time-saving technology.

Delta Winds page 15 though. Maybe it was because he was to some serious health problems and my best friend. Maybe it was because some highly erroneous decisions by the the longest he had ever gone without a doctors, I had had a very rough delivery. haircut was about three weeks, whereas I Unlike my fifteen-month old sister, who was working on my third year. the nurses claimed was “The prettiest newborn baby in the whole hospital,” I “It’s looking really bad, Scotty. You need was a cross between a Simpsons cartoon to get it cut.” character, a zebra, and Mr. Magoo. My grandmother was quoted as saying to I would instinctively begin to think of my mother, “You should have quit when some form of retaliation to these seem- you were ahead.” A year later, however, I ingly random slams, but I always decided had grown a full head of naturally curly The biggest that a blunt and rude remark deserved blonde locks. My mother thought I an equally blunt and rude response. Time looked like an angel. My father thought problem was after time, I would smirk, raise my bow I looked like a girl, and everyone he met finger, and restate my unchanged thought so, too. that I agreed opinion: “No.” “Oh, what a cute little girl! How old is with them. I . . . but why? In a way, I knew he was she?” they would ask as they passed by right. I was totally different from every- my stroller. My father, staring viciously didn’t really one else at school, the guys at least, through his grizzly bear-sized shadow at because I had long hair. I had had long the passerby, would nearly bite straight hair since I was little. All of the other through his stogie every time he heard like long hair kids would compliment each other on it. their new “do’s” while making snide much either. remarks about that boy with the ugly, “He’s not a girl.” greasy, grimy long hair. “Oh . . .” And that would be the end of The biggest problem was that I agreed the conversation. My father watched the with them. I didn’t really like long hair people slowly back away. Then he would much either. I wanted friends, I wanted look down at me in the stroller. Then he to be part of the group, I wanted to would look at my hair. My father felt blend in with everyone else, I just didn’t that I was far past due for my first want a haircut. I wouldn’t do it, couldn’t haircut; my mother, however, did not. A do it, even when I wanted it. I would long battle ensued, and my mother won. protest my haircuts for as long as hu- Admitting defeat, my father promised to manly possible. I would have to be leave my hair forced into the airplane-shaped barber as it was. chair with threats from my superiors, like the dreaded “No Nintendo” rule. Not “Now, only that, but after a cut, I would be Scotty,” my stuck in a violent and belligerent mood- mother said funk for about a week, with occasional to me as she fits of extreme depression creeping in. I momentarily wasn’t scared of the scissors or of being broke away cut, nor was I intimidated by the salon from the ladies who seemed to be advertising the story, “there entire line of Mary K cosmetics on their are a few face. I just had a general fear of the lessons I haircut process as a whole. I thought need to that I must have been the only kid on teach you earth that had a haircut phobia. about life. The first One day, however, my mother decided to lesson is tell me an interesting story. I realized at always keep once that this story had been the source gas in your of my unique predicament the whole car. The time. It was the story of my first haircut. second lesson is I was born totally bald — and ugly. Due never trust a Delta Winds page 17 I was a cross between a Simpsons cartoon character, a zebra, and Mr. Magoo. My grandmother was quoted as saying to my mother, “You should have quit when you were ahead.”

man.” A man myself, I wasn’t exactly block. I decided trying some of the sure what she was implying with this techniques my parents used, like self- remark, but she related it to her story enforcing the “No Nintendo” rule. That nonetheless. It turns out the very next plan blew up in my face when I realized day after the explosive haircut argu- that, while I would rather commit ment, my father sneaked out of the Japanese ritual suicide than be separated antique coin store where he and my from my Game Boy for more than mother worked and took me with him. twenty-four hours, I still wouldn’t cut my Once my mother realized that her hair. It became apparent that more husband and son had mysteriously clever methods would have to be imple- disappeared, she turned the open sign mented to solve my case. around, locked the shop door, and dashed across the busy intersection to My sister, once the prettiest baby in the the barbershop on the other side of the hospital, was currently majoring in street, ironically named “Harry’s.” As cosmetology. She was also growing quite she opened the door, a blood-curdling restless from cutting fake hair on her screech, similar to that of a severely dolls’ heads. I thought that maybe I wounded animal, nearly knocked her could get over my phobia by getting my over. Stepping inside, she realized that haircut by someone I was comfortable she was too late. It was her son causing with, someone I knew on a personal the sound waves. With the assistance of level. It would help her as well, seeing as my dad, who had performed the how she had never cut the hair of a real Herculean task of holding me still the person and could use the practice. That whole time, Harry had cut off about might seem like a bad thing to most three fourths of my curly blonde locks. people, but I honestly didn’t care if the The damage had been done, and there cut would turn out uneven or lopsided. was nothing my mother could do. My main concern was getting over the phobia. However, the more I thought Then, my mother opened an envelope about it, the more fearful I became of and showed me the hair from that very the idea. Being brother and sister didn’t first haircut. It was a bright and shiny necessarily mean that we were always orange-yellow color. It seemed eerie to kind and friendly towards each other. We hold, because while it felt like hair in the had had a long history of sibling rivalry, physical sense, smooth flowing, soft which began 24 hours after my delivery feeling, and sort of a grainy texture, it when my sister smashed a heavy gold meant something a little different to me; bracelet into my forehead and created a it marked the only truly traumatizing dent that is still somewhat recognizable. experience of my childhood life and the What’s to say she wouldn’t take a little sole reason I developed such a bizarre too much off the top, like all of it? I phobia about getting my haircut. might have needed a haircut, but I didn’t need a military buzz. What seemed even I had to get a haircut sometime though, worse is that she might have tried to I thought, because I still wanted to be make me look like’“The love of her life,” accepted. I knew this wasn’t a normal former American Idol contestant, Clay condition, so I examined my options for Aiken. The seppuku suicide ideas came fixing my highly uncommon mental flooding back into my head. Delta Winds page 18 about doing this. In a slightly more desperate state, I thought of using hypnosis. The idea was I sat down and thought through the that if I were told to get a haircut while problem once more. If the problem in a relaxed state of hypnosis, I might be resulted in the way others saw me, able to reprogram my brain and erase maybe I could bypass the whole haircut- the phobia from memory. Therefore, ting process by changing the mental upon awakening from the trance, I image, rather than the physical image, would be able to walk into a salon that those “others” saw when they without fear. Hiring a professional looked at me. This seemed like a much hypnotist would be far too expensive, more comfortable approach to the but I knew enough about the techniques problem, and if I pulled it off, I could used in public stage shows to induce the avoid the barbershop entirely. hypnotic state upon myself. I knew that the methods worked, too, after watching, “. . . you know, no one likes your long and subsequently burning, a taped hair, Scotty. You really should cut it.” recording of myself impersonating one of the Back-Street Boys. The only problem I was expecting him to mention it again that I couldn’t remedy was how to sooner or later. In his typical clockwork persuade myself to get my hair cut after type fashion, my best friend had just We had had a long history of sibling rivalry, which began 24 hours after my delivery when my sister smashed a heavy gold bracelet into my forehead and created a dent that is still somewhat recognizable. falling into a hypnotic state. I thought of gotten his hair cut again. He had also recording my voice on a cassette tape, received compliments from every single but I remembered having many prob- girl on the campus, as usual. lems with tape recorders. If I didn’t record everything correctly, or if I used “I don’t know, man,” I replied as I put the wrong type of tape, I might wake up down my pizza slice and leaned back in speaking French or Spanish. I then the cafeteria chair, grinning my half- thought of having a second person on smirk. I pulled some of my hair out of hand to give me the necessary instruc- the neck of my wavy red Acapulco shirt, tions while under hypnosis. However, tilted my hat up a bit, and moved a everyone I thought of electing as a couple of flowing brown tresses out of trustworthy hypnosis partner was also my eyes and twirled them around my waiting for the perfect opportunity to get fingertips. He watched with a hint of back at me for some juvenile prank I had hidden disgust in his eyes. I could see pulled on them. Just thinking of what my “the look” on him, as well as on a couple sister would want to do made me cringe. people in the distance who didn’t realize I might have come out of the trance I was scanning them. It was now or thinking that I actually was Clay Aiken. I never, I thought. My grin widened. “The immediately scratched the idea off the chicks dig it.” list, almost ripping the paper with such force. There had to be another way to go That seemed to cause some confusion. Delta Winds page 19 As she opened the door, a blood- curdling screech, similar to that of a severely wounded animal, nearly knocked her over.

My friend raised his eyebrows. I thought about my problem again, but from a different perspective this time. “The chicks dig it?” Did I care? Did I care whether or not people liked my long hair? Did I truly I realized then that I had probably used care? The only fault I could find about the wrong choice of words for my case. my long hair was that other people didn’t Instead of sounding cool, I came off like like it; but, I realized for the first time, some wannabe ‘70s film star reject. My that I did. I liked my long hair. It made grin faded. me feel comfortable and relaxed. I was able to relate with the sort of laid-back “It keeps my ears warm, too. It gets cold attitude that it was associated with. I here in the winter.” could see a little bit of the Zonker Harris in me through it. I could see a little bit That didn’t seem to change his attitude of the beatnik, a little of the rebel, a little much either. Strike two. of the Beatles rock-era revolutionary, and I enjoyed that persona. My long hair had “You know, lots of smart people have been with me since I was a kid. How long hair. I mean, like . . . look at Albert could I get rid of it? It defined me as a Einstein. The guy practically had an person. It was my style, my essence, my afro!” unique individuality. More important, it was mine. “Scotty, Einstein couldn’t tie his shoes. He couldn’t even match his clothes The barren spot on my father’s forehead without his wife’s help.” reflected the light of the fluorescent light bulbs above. I could see the look in his “Well, yeah, but he made that whole eyes. His dark, tangled beard, reaching relativity thing, and, like, nuclear physics about two feet in length, unsuccessfully theories, and . . . stuff.” tried to hide it. He was staring at me the same way he had been doing for the last His expression, the familiar looking eighteen years. I knew the question he cringe that I had seen so many times was going to ask. before, didn’t change. I was making about as much progress as a crash test “Scotty, don’t you think it’s about time dummy trying to go through a brick you . . .” wall, but I laughed. We both laughed. It was a stupid argument that denigrated “No.” the name of one of the greatest scien- tific minds that had ever lived because he had had difficulty getting dressed in the morning. I thought about that for a second: Did Einstein care if people knew he couldn’t match his clothes? Did he worry that people might find it strange that he could barely tie his shoes? Did that stop him from being accepted as one of the world’s greatest mathematicians? Did he care?

Delta Winds page 20 by Parental Lorrie Condon Advisory

Friday, the day I have been waiting for conversation is not foreign to our all week arrives. Tonight is the night of relationship, the phenomenon of the biggest party of the year. This party asking her how her day was could will launch us into a summer full of cause suspicion. Nevertheless, I teenage independence and rebellion. am far too consumed with delu- With excitement in our voices, my sions of love to take notice of the friends and I walk home talking about irregularity of the discussion. My tonight’s event. “What do I wear?” “How mother, recognizing the opportu- should I do my hair?” These are all nity, seizes the rare chance to extremely important maneuvers needed bestow on me her memories of to hook that certain boy I have been teenage years gone by. The all too watching. One boy stands ten feet above familiar lecture of heartache due to all others as he saunters through the undesirable decisions commences. crowded school halls. With chestnut hair “When I was a girl, blah, blah, and a smile that takes my breath away, blah, just your age blah, blah, blah” Lorrie Condon is a single he came packaged and stamped straight or something like that; I had heard it all from heaven. Convincing myself he feels before. All my thoughts are focused on mother of three children. She the same for me, I spend many hours the night. Straining to look interested, I completed the Vocational day-dreaming about our perfect life realize she has asked me a question. I Nursing Program at Delta, together as a couple. I am eagerly quickly respond with the standard awaiting the evening and the chance of answer, “Don’t worry, Mom.” Giving me and now has returned to finish spending time with him. a look of insight, she asks,”“What are her A.A. degree. She is hoping your plans for this weekend?” to enter the ADN program in Trusting only my best friend, I ignore questions from others for details about Knowing about this party for weeks, I the fall. Her children are my plans. As I walk up the stairs of my have devised a perfect plan. If all grown, one is married, one is a front porch, my thoughts switch from calculation is correct, one plan should sophomore at San Diego fantasy to reality: Be cool, do not blow cover all possible assaults of questions. this. Before I can race to my room, I see Nonchalant, I calmly remind her of the State University, and the last my mother sitting at the kitchen table, plans I had made a few weeks ago. one is a freshmen in high reading the paper and drinking a cup of “Remember? I made plans with a few of school. Lorrie has one coffee after a long day at work. She waits the girls, to spend the night doing to hear the door open. Modifying my makeovers and eating pizza?” grandchild. Going back to customary quick grumble, I step into the school has been a challenge, kitchen and sit down with her. “Sounds like fun,” she says. but she is determined to finish I start talking about my day. Oh no! Did Almost feeling guilty, I hesitate as I walk and accomplish her goal. I just ask her about hers? Although to my room. Packing takes forever when “When I was a girl, blah, blah, blah, just your age blah, blah, blah” or something like that; I had heard it all before.

Delta Winds page 21 trying to find the perfect outfit, one that After five or ten minutes, I feel better. stands out, one that would make my Upon exiting the bathroom, I am mom gasp for air. expecting to see my Prince Charming waiting to rescue me and safely return Beep, the horn blows out front. I give me home. Boy! Am I wrong. The only her a kiss and hand her a piece of paper thing in the hallway is an echo of music Resembling containing the number where I can be and voices. In the distance I hear a girl reached. This too is part of the plan: laughing. an extra in a eliminate any reason for her to ask questions. Brilliant! Radio blasting, we Pulling me toward the familiar door at Madonna drive away. the end of the hall is a constant giggle. Opening the door I see a sight that will video, I am After spending hours on makeup and remain with me the rest of my tragic using about two cans of hair spray, I teenage life. My love is lying beside emerge triumphant. Resembling an another girl — and yelling at me to leave ready for the extra in a Madonna video, I am ready and shut the door. How could he do this for the night. to me? I love him. I feel the tears welling night. in my eyes and my heart breaking like Later, we arrive at the party around the fine china. Desperately, I search for my same time as most of the guests. Eagerly friends. I look in each car, searching for the one face I long to see. At last I spot him, After locking the bedroom door, I begin standing next to a group of boys all to tell the girls. We hug and swear never laughing and shoving each other. While to fall in love again; we conclude that all walking over to say “Hi,” I am handed a boys are jerks and only want one thing. plastic cup filled with the teen beverage Then I hear a painstaking voice in my of choice — beer, of course. After slurp- ears. This is it, the lecture I have heard ing up the foam and taking a big gulp, I many times, “When I was a girl, . . . .” cringe at the bitter taste. Anxious to fit Only this time the words seem to take on in, I drink it down fast and ask for a new meaning. How could she know? refill. I walk over to join the conversa- tion and make my presence known. Feeling like someone ran over me with a truck, I walk into the house. All I want is After several dances and a few refills, I to march straight to my room, wallow in am living the dream I desperately self-pity and recover. To my dismay there wanted. Holding me tight in his arms is she is sitting where I left her last night, the most perfect boy on the planet. In a drinking coffee in her robe and slippers soft voice he whispers in my ear, “Let’s with a fresh look of morning on her face. go upstairs.” Hormones in overdrive, I convince myself that my deepest hope “Wow!” she says. “Rough night of In a soft has been validated; he loves me. Pulling makeovers?” me down on the bed, he kisses me. My voice he heart is in my throat. As his hands start Certain that she knows, I wait for her to exploring my body, a feeling of conviction scold me. Instead she calmly directs me runs through me. I hear my mother’s toward the bathroom. I look over at her whispers in voice in the air. Reluctantly, I pull away. with tears in my eyes. “I can ‘t do this.” Ignoring my plea, he my ear, kisses me again. Now the voice is loud Wiping the tears from my face and in my head, so I resist the physical urge looking into my eyes, she says, “I guess “Let’s go to stay and run out of the room. you didn’t read the warning on the package.” upstairs.” In the bathroom, I wash my face trying desperately to regain my sobriety. A “What warning?” I ask. knock at the door captures my attention. “Are you ok?” he shouts. “The one that comes on all perfect packages from heaven: The Parental “I’ll be right out.” Feeling dizzy, I lie Advisory.” We look at each other and down on the floor; it feels cool, and it is laugh. helping me compose myself.

Delta Winds page 22

“Go-ahead. Ask your doctor about Altace” and “Ask your doctor if Zocor could work for you” are examples of the pressure pharmaceutical companies are placing on the general public to request medication from their doctors.

“acid reflux disease can really upset your may cause. For example, Lipitor (PH) plans” is followed by a tired and haggard and Zocor (PH) promise to lower looking man moaning, “All I want are cholesterol, which negates that concern nights with less pain.” These ads also for healthy dietary intake. This particular contain very healthy looking people ad promises to make people healthier. smiling and having a great time. There’s Although such a claim is absurd, many a clue to indicate that the viewers can be people believe it to be true, and as a like the happy people on the screen if result people are racing to their doctors they only take the medicine. Such ads requesting Lipitor rather than addressing place a lot of pressure on the patients to the dietary habit that caused the prob- march right down to their doctors’ lem in the first place. offices and demand the medications. “Go-ahead. Ask your doctor about Doctors are under similar pressures Altace” and “Ask your doctor if Zocor because the pharmaceutical representa- could work for you” are examples of the tives come directly to their offices. pressure pharmaceutical companies are Direct marketing can be hard to resist, placing on the general public to request especially after a semi-personal relation- medication from their doctors. Another ship has been established. Pharmaceuti- example involves medication for arthri- cal representatives often provide special tis. This particular ad combines effectual perks to doctors who prescribe their claims like “power 24-hour relief” with medications. Current news stories report images of healthy people. Ads like this that many doctors are supplying the one are giving many people false hopes requested medications to their patients, because the medications may not be even when they know the drugs may not right for them and not all drugs can provide relief. In cases where doctors deliver on the promises for “instant stand firm and refuse to prescribe relief.” requested drugs, many patients travel to Mexico and Canada where the drugs are Before the FDA released advertising available without prescription. This restrictions for drug companies, the unfortunate scenario is causing many doctor’s office was the primary vehicle people to take medications that may through which the public learned about produce terrible side effects when mixed new types of drugs. Since then a trend with certain medical conditions or with of self-diagnosis has developed, leading other medications. to a spike in over-prescribed medica- tions as well as an over-reliance on This type of advertising preys on the instant gratification. People will be less emotions of people who are disabled by likely to take care of themselves if they chronic medical conditions and causes believe that a medication will reverse “healthy” people to become alarmed any damage that their bad health habits about certain “symptoms.” For example, Delta Winds page 24 the advertisement for Zoloft shows an not only a direct result of the fact that animated blob pouncing along while an they are now allowed to reach the announcer declares, “People suffering masses with their powerful promises but This type of from depression, panic disorder, obses- a society that has been seduced by sive-compulsive disorder, or in posttrau- instant gratification. Most everything in advertising matic stress disorder may have an our society is centered on on an instant imbalance of serotonin so the nerve cells fix. In the modern world of a technology- preys on the cannot communicate properly.” The based society, the public is ripe for the advertisement uses a simple animation outrageous promises of drug companies. to explain how this imbalance can be emotions of corrected. The ad states, “This blocking Despite the alarm being sounded by action by Zoloft helps build up more concerned members of the medical people who serotonin between the brain cells, which profession about the claims that these in turn may help message transmission new “wonder drugs” are making, we will are disabled return to normal.” Advertisements like not likely see a decrease in advertise- this are obviously directed to the general ments by prescription drug companies by chronic public in an effort to encourage patients any time soon. As a result, people must to diagnose themselves. This ad promises exercise caution regarding prescription medical false hope to those who are seriously ads and must be aware of the risks depressed by over-simplifying a compli- involved in taking medications that are cated disease while causing healthy unnecessary (e.g. anti-depressants), that conditions individuals who are experiencing every- have dangerous side effects for people day sadness or have introverted personal- with certain medical conditions, and and causes ity traits to believe that they have a that may not mix with other medica- disease and are in need of medication. tions. Patients must carefully look into “healthy” Hundreds of thousands of people may any new drug that promises to relieve feel overwhelmingly sad at times, or chronic conditions. Even if doctors people to suffer from lack of sleep, or feel fatigued respond to requests and prescribe new (all symptoms described on the many medications advertised on television, it become depression medications), but does this is a good idea to consult a pharmacist necessarily mean that they need to take about any adverse side effects and about medication for depression? There are the drug’s interaction with other medi- alarmed frequently simple solutions to handling cations. The power of good judgment, in “mental” and “emotional” problems, terms of our health, is now in the hands about especially since many times the problems of the individual viewers and those who are due to diet, life style, or undetected care for them. certain physical conditions. “symptoms.” The success that the drug companies are realizing by advertising on television is Hundreds of thousands of people may feel overwhelmingly sad at times, or suffer from lack of sleep, or feel fatigued (all symptoms described on the many depression medications), but does this necessarily mean that they need to take medication for depression?

Delta Winds page 25 by Daniel Maychen The Day I Died

Daniel Maychen was born in The springtime weather of May always was filled out. His coarse, dark, husky seemed to call out children’s names in Stockton, California, on voice was so distinctive. I could hear it in central California. All of my childhood the midst of twenty other voices convers- January 19, 1984. He is friends and I would meet at Hidalgo ing in a room. currently in his first year at Elementary School and play a variety of games from basketball and football to Delta College and plans to My mother wore her black, wavy, curly the classic tag. We all understood that hair, as usual, and never said more than major in sociology and/or the summer sun would no longer allow she had to. Truth is, she never needed to music industry at Northridge the joy of playing outside without because her actions were the voice she feeling as though we were enemies of its State. He loves music and seldom used. Her hands were like magic overwhelming wrath of heat. As I to me. With her beautiful small, soft enjoys playing basketball in reminisce, I can actually feel the holy, hands she could fix up some of the most his free time. He also enjoys ripped up, and soft nerf football that my incredible dishes ever known to man. My friends, brother and I would play with at hanging out with his friends. stomach growled just at the sight of her the school soccer fields directly across cooking up a meal. There was always the street from my apartment complex. something special and mysterious about It was our own pro football field. It’s her that I could never quite understand, amazing what a child-like imagination but I never thought too much of it. can do. Although my friends Fernando and Roberto had bellies that overlapped I was in the second grade and on my way their waist, it still felt good to outrun to the third. My brother, in the fourth them and feel like I was Jerry Rice after grade, impressed my parents with his catching a touchdown pass. We would straight A’s. We lived on the second floor play until one of our parents yelled out of a beat-up apartment complex that our names to come back inside or when cried for a paint job. Every time we one of us got knocked to the ground a would use the stair-rail to get up and little harder than we would like and start down, to and from the second floor, we to cry. Other than those painful memo- felt like we were playing a game of ries of being knocked to the ground, my Russian roulette because it could’ve childhood was an amazing adventure fallen off at any moment. Although we filled with nothing but joy. There was obviously didn’t have much, we were a nothing that could take away those happy and humble family. precious moments that I loved so deeply. Or so I thought. But in the middle of May, reality re- vealed what was once concealed from my It was 1992, about a year since my heart. It was a sunny and beautiful family moved from Stockton to Fresno, Saturday afternoon when my older and I had just begun to blend in with my brother, David, and I were watching new surroundings. My dad’s face glowed some cartoons in our bedroom. My after he was blessed with a job as a father was taking an afternoon nap on pastor at the First Presbyterian Church my bed while wearing one of his infa- in downtown Fresno. The church, with mous faded blue shorts that were too its modern structure, looked more like a high on him. Suddenly, my fragile commercial building. He had been bedroom door burst open, as if a swat looking for a pastoral job for about a team was storming into the room. My year and finally found the job he had uncle appeared and erratically shook my faithfully searched for. My mother dad, “Paul! Paul! Get up, she’s about to yearned to work, but due to her lack of go now!” work experience and bad English, she was better off staying at home and My dad lunged out of my bed like a taking care of my brother and me. By grasshopper and ran to my parent’s this time, my father’s former stick figure room. My brother and I stood up quickly Delta Winds page 26 and followed them. Although I had no bag and drove her off in a long black idea what was going on, my heart vehicle, I began to understand exactly pounded intensely and my body started what was occurring in my life. I began to to shake. While walking towards the painfully realize that my mother would room, I could see my grandparents, not come back the next day, or the day aunts, uncles, and cousins all gathered after that. My developing, eight-year-old close to one another. My heart contin- mind prematurely began to accept that ued to pound and my body began to death was not just in Hollywood movies, shake even more. As I walked into the but was a part of my childhood and life. room, I could almost smell the sadness that had filled the thick air. Suddenly, all of the abnormalities that surrounded me started to make sense. It Suddenly, I heard my grandmother cry in explained why my mother had been sick great anguish and her body seemed to for a couple of months and would lie in collapse with her heart as my uncle her bed all day and night in my parents’ caught her from falling. Then, one after room. I always assumed that she was Suddenly, I another they all cried. My mother, still as just fighting a really bad cold that would beautiful as she’d always been, was lying some day go away. It now made sense heard my in her bed. Her eyes were shut and her why in mid-May, for some strange body lay motionless. My Aunt Molly sat reason, many of my family members beside my mother and caressed her came to stay with us even though the grandmother “magical” hands. My brother, David, ran two-bedroom apartment was packed to to the left side of my mother and hugged the point where some of my aunts had cry in great her as his tears fell. I looked at my to sleep on the floor. Although I enjoyed usually stoic grandfather, looking down their company, I didn’t quite understand anguish and at his daughter, and watched tears why so many of them had come to visit stream down his face. The silenced room for such a long time and went through her body had now become overwhelmed with such hassles. It also made sense why my wailing. grandma, aunts and uncle, who lived seemed to two hours away in Stockton, always I was trying to figure out what in the urged my brother and me to spend time world was going on. Why is this happen- with my mother. collapse ing? What is happening? Is this real? Why is everyone crying hysterically? Why am I The next day when this horrible dream with her not? Although I didn’t quite fully under- became even more real, and the pain stand what was going on, my naïve guilt that I felt started to pierce my soul, I heart as my forced me to cry. I looked at my mother thought about what had just occurred and began to cry even more. With each and how this moment had changed and uncle caught tear that I cried, my conscience grew would forever change the course of my heavier because I didn’t fully compre- life. As I sat in my room, I only could her from hend why I was crying, or didn’t want to. think “why?” At the age of eight when As my beloved mother was lying there the reality of mortality was still incon- peacefully, I wanted to hold her but my ceivable, I wondered why. Why is it falling. childlike fear kept me still. I yearned to when innocence was supposed to bring talk to her, but my words had left me. joy was I ashamed I would cry? Why, My older cousin, Nichole, put her arms during my childhood while other kids around me and tried to console me as laughed and played, could I only cry? she softly said with her broken voice, But in the end, all I came to realize was “It’s going to be ok. It’s going to be ok.” I that at the life-changing age of eight, cried even more, because I knew every- when life had just begun . . . I died. thing wasn’t going to be “ok.” While we all wept, I almost had to touch my face to completely grasp that this was not a dream.

Not long after, two men came with a stretcher and gently laid my mother on it. Their straight faces showed no sign of emotion as they quickly but carefully did their job. As they covered her in a black Delta Winds page 27 by Samuel S. Berbano The All-American Prospect

From the Bard’ s heart-wrenching two-year sojourn in the Massachusetts stories of love and tragedy to Bill O’ wilderness, which was the basis for his Reilly’ s sharp wit and social com- famous book Walden, or Life in the mentary, writers through the ages Woods, which discusses the benefits of have had much to say about the frugal, simple living. To the casual human condition. While many critics observer, it seems like these two authors are not as well known as these two, — one who laid the foundation for our other authors like Ben Franklin and nation’s government and another who Henry David Thoreau have done wrote Resistance to Civil Government — much to influence our American are greatly at odds. But after a few sensibilities. Before he became one minutes of comparing the two, it be- From the cornfields of central of our nation’ s founding fathers, comes clear that Thoreau and Franklin Benjamin Franklin worked his way up are too complex of characters to be given Iowa to the streets of Stockton, from being born the fifteenth of seven- such plain and generic labels as “alike” or 16-year old Samuel S. teen children to becoming the anony- “different.” While their opinions on Berbano is no stranger to mous, proverb-spouting author of the many subjects like hard work or fashion popular Poor Richard’s Almanack, which appear to differ on the surface, the schooling. Berbano, a Gilbert he published for twenty-five years until common thread of American wisdom is High School senior, spent the 1757. While his bits of American wit spun throughout. Fall 2003 semester in and wisdom are less familiar to our Millennial generation, many a Builder Consider Franklin’s thoughts on cloth- Stockton at San Joaquin and Boomer went to bed hearing Poor ing: “Industry gives plenty . . . and the Delta College. He has Richard’s famous proverb “Early to bed, diligent spinner has a large shift [ward- received recognition from Phi early to rise, makes a man healthy, robe].” At first glance, he and Thoreau wealthy, and wise.” seem to have nothing in common, Theta Kappa, National because Thoreau blasts extravagance Honor Society, the Our other author, Henry David with a three-page volley, saying that “we Congressional Youth Thoreau, became the original proponent worship not the Graces, nor the Parcæ, of passive, nonviolent resistance 157 but Fashion.” But before we rush to Leadership Council, and years ago when he refused to pay his judgment, we must heed Poor Richard’ s Who’s Who Among College poll tax, which supported the Mexican proverb that “a little neglect may breed Students. Samuel currently War. Thoreau is better known for his great mischief” and examine these resides with his father Orville, mother Leah, and younger …many a Builder and Boomer brother Seth in Iowa. He plans to attend Iowa State went to bed hearing Poor Richard’s University in the fall and major in Journalism and famous proverb “Early to bed, early Political Science. This is his to rise, makes a man healthy, second published work. wealthy, and wise.”

Delta Winds page 28 Our other author, Henry David Thoreau, became the original proponent of passive, nonviolent resistance 157 years ago when he refused to pay his poll tax, which supported the Mexican War.

authors’ comments closer; by investigat- made clear. Franklin speaks of the ing the context of their statements, we diligent seamstress having a large see that our authors are actually arguing wardrobe, but also of the humble farmer the all - American prospect of having on his legs as being “higher than a their cake and eating it too! gentleman on his knees.” The truth is that the seamstress and the farmer Next, we must examine their attitude on produce for themselves and receive another subject—hard work. Thoreau’s shares of their labor. Thoreau derides time was occupied, but only “six weeks a people who work themselves ragged for year [were spent] meet[ing] the expenses their extravagant lifestyle, but after his of living,” leaving the rest of his time for six weeks of hard labor, he reaps his writing. But what exertion he accom- reward of time to reflect and write about plished in those six weeks — building, his days at Walden Pond. farming, and incredible work. And the ever-dutiful Franklin leaves us a chart of Franklin and Thoreau’s roads to wealth his labors: while running on seven hours travel the same distance, but lead to two of sleep every night, he crafted an different kinds of riches: one of intellect enduring legacy of thoughtful writing and study, the other of natural beauty and interesting research. In one of his and simplicity. “Poor Richard” proverbs, he says, “fly pleasures, and they’ll follow you;” what better way to avoid pleasure if not through work?

We see our authors’ attitudes toward these subjects of work and luxury, but now their true message of wisdom shines forth. Upon closer examination, their thesis of the way to wealth through work or even the lap of luxury through labor is …by investigating the context of their statements, we see that our authors are actually arguing the all - American prospect of having their cake and eating it too!

Delta Winds page 29 by Angela Quinones The Best Thing

Angela Quinones grew up in In the year 1988, when I was only four turned upside down. My mom was called years old, my parents were divorced. Linden but moved to back in to see the doctor so that she Although I was too young to remember could get the results from her check up. Pennsylvania in 1998 when this, I do remember growing up without Apparently my mom was not as healthy her mother passed away. She a father. The court granted my parents as she appeared to be. She had been shared custody but my dad was always was not happy there, so in diagnosed with a recurrence of cancer. too busy to take me and my younger My mom was wonderful; she reassured December of 2003 she moved brother, Cris, on his days. My dad got us that everything was going to be just in with her grandparents here remarried on July 15, 1990, to a woman fine. She came to us and said, “You don’t named Lou Ann. She had a son, Zach, in Stockton. She is attending need to worry, we have been through this who is about three years older than I before and everything turned out great. Delta and plans to transfer to am. My older brother, Mike, lived in And it will again.” She would make us smile Stanislaus to get her teaching Lodi with my dad and his new family. and laugh until we forgot all of our worries. The four of them lived in a two-bedroom credentials. Of course this meant that things would house which did not leave any room for change over the next few months, but my Cris and me. In July of 1997 my dad mom tried the best she could to keep received a huge promotion, which things the same for us. I still don’t under- meant he would be moving to the stand how she could do it, but she battled corporate office of AmeriGas. He was the cancer for fourteen long months and so excited. The only catch was that he constantly had a positive attitude. had to move to King of Prussia, Pennsyl- vania. Mike and our dad were moving As a little girl I remember thinking about three-thousand miles away from us, but how my mom was the most beautiful we knew that it did not matter. At least woman I had ever seen. She was tall and this way we had a reason for never seeing petite with long, wavy, golden brown them. I was confident that our lives hair. After months of extensive radiation would only get better from then on. We and chemotherapy that all changed. All were living in California with our mom, of her hair fell out in chunks, and she all of our family and friends, and each was eventually forced to get a wig. It was other; what could be better than that? made of short, pale blonde hair — kind of like the color of the moon. Her wig Approximately two months after my dad was also very straight. She later became and his family moved I began eighth very fragile and she couldn’t even grade at Waterloo Middle School. Cris manage to stand up straight, if at all. was in seventh grade and attended Throughout her illness she lost lots of Glenwood Elementary School. One day weight and at one point weighed only a we both came home from school around hundred pounds. She no longer looked 3:00 in the afternoon and my mom was like the same person. That wasn’t the there. That wasn’t normal; she never only thing to change; our home was like came home from work before 5:30 in a hospital. Our living room had a televi- the evening. As it turned out she had sion, a couch, and a hospital bed in it. had a doctor’s appointment for her Right next to the bed you could always annual check up. It was great. That find a table covered in prescription meant that we could spend some extra bottles and syringes. The dining room time together as a family. had a table and chairs, a china hutch, a wheel chair, and a walker. Eventually we After a week or so our whole lives Delta Winds page 30 As a little girl I remember thinking about how my mom was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. also had to put a morphine drip machine When the summer ended and we had to in the living room. We also constantly go back to school, our grandparents had a Hospice aid coming in and out of moved in with us to take over some of the house to help out. Sometimes I our responsibilities. My grandpa began could take that first step into the house giving her the shots, morphine, and and just get the whiff of a hospital. other medications, while my grandma helped Cris and me with the cooking No matter how much pain she was in and cleaning. This not only helped us to she always tried to be the best mother find time for our homework, but it also she could; and she was. She was the gave us more time to spend with our manager of Cris’ Pee-Wee football team friends. The only thing we had to do was and tried to attend every game in her make sure we carried the cellular phone wheel chair. As the school year was that grandpa bought for us in case of an coming to an end, my eighth grade emergency. graduation was rapidly approaching. I had continually told my mom that I did We were standing in line for Linden not want to go, but then one day she had High School’s homecoming dance on had enough. She smiled and simply said, October 23, 1998, when our cell phone “Oh yes you are. After everything you began to ring. My heart was racing a have done for me, you deserve to gradu- mile a minute and I didn’t know what to ate with your friends. And believe me I do; I didn’t want to hear what was on will be right there in the stands to cheer the other end of that phone. After it you on.” My mom had put her foot down rang a couple of times, Cris grabbed the and I had no choice but to attend my phone away from me and answered it to graduation. After the ceremony my mom hear Grandma’s voice on the other end. threw me my first ever surprise party; all I could faintly hear her but not quite to of my friends and family attended. Even the point where I could make out what though I knew that she probably felt like she was saying. When Cris hung up the an elephant had ran her over, she never phone, he turned to me with tears in his once stopped smiling. eyes. His crackled voice said, “We need to go home, now. Doctor Wilkins As our mom continually got worse, Cris believes it is time.” We took off running and I used our friends as a way to kind of and when we arrived at home our mom skip right over reality for a while. Our was having difficulty breathing. We friends were great; they were always stayed up with her all night and she was there for us in every way imaginable, doing much better the next morning. even if it was just to get us out of the house for a few hours. Even my mom’s On October 24th we went to bed once friends would come and take us out to again afraid of what the outcome might lunch occasionally just to let us know be in the morning. I got up around 5:30 that they would always be there for us. on the morning of October 25, 1998, When we were at home, Cris would and as I approached my mom to tell her hibernate in his room for hours upon good morning, I was stopped. I turned hours. I would keep my mom company around to see my grandma standing while I kept the house clean and did all there with tears streaming down her of the cooking. When Cris and I could face. It had happened. She had died. not be there for our mom, either our My grandma said, “She’s gone. It grandparents or our aunt and uncle happened around 2:10 this morning. would come to just sit with her for a She was holding my hand and next thing couple of hours. We really did have a I knew her grip was gone; she was gone. great support system. There was nothing I could do.” I just Delta Winds page 31 stood there. I could not believe that my all F’s. In California I had friends and mom could be dead. I turned back family to help me get through that around and headed for the living room difficult time, but I was forced to move where I saw her cold, dead body and to Pennsylvania where I knew absolutely knew it was true. My grandpa’s voice nobody. I had to live in a house with then came into the room, “Michael and people I barely knew, where we couldn’t your father will be on the next flight and even mention my mom. My step-mom they will see you and Cristopher in the and I despised each other; one day I morning.” finally found out why she was always ragging on me. She got really heated one Mike and my dad picked me and Cris day for no reason at all and let it slip, “I up around 9:00 in the morning. We went hate how you constantly remind your over to our grandmother’s house where father of your mother. Why can’t you just we could talk privately. My dad then leave us alone? He loves me now, not asked us, “I need to know, would you her.” She really ticked me off by saying rather finish out the school year here or that, and it was definitely the last straw. come to Pennsylvania with your brother Neither one of us wanted me to be and me now?” Cris and I knew exactly there, so as soon as I graduated from what we wanted to do. We needed to be high school I was forced to move out. In in California where we would be sur- the middle of my first semester at rounded by people to help us get Montgomery County Community through this difficult time. As we College I dropped out. I didn’t want to, explained this to our dad, he just sat but I just could not handle paying for my there and shook his head. He then rent, bills, insurance, and tuition. informed us, “I know you think it is best for you to stay here, and I don’t entirely After about a year of living on my own disagree with that, but you will be and not being able to afford college, I coming to Pennsylvania with Michael began to remember more and more what and me first thing Sunday morning.” my mom wanted me to get out of life. We were devastated. He wouldn’t even She always wanted me to finish college listen to what we had to say. He then because she didn’t get the opportunity to took us back home to be with our with her first encounter with cancer. I grandparents and explained to them thought long and hard about how I what was to happen. They begged him might be able to achieve this. I finally not to do it, but he still would not listen called my grandparents. I asked them if to reason. As he was leaving he simply they would pay for me to move back to said, “I suggest you begin packing, I will California and also let me live with them be back to get the three of you Saturday while I attended college. They graciously afternoon and I expect you to be ready agreed so I am now in California and to go.” have absolutely no contact with my dad. When I told him I was moving back to Our mom passed away on October 25, California to go to college, he said, “If 1998, and exactly one week later we you leave, I don’t ever want to hear from were on a plane to Pennsylvania. We you again.” I thought about it and didn’t want to go but according to our decided that I would rather get a college so-called father, it was the best thing for degree and be surrounded by people us. I started at a new school, Spring- who love and care about me than be Ford Area High School, and took my stuck in a state I hated with a family who straight A’s and turned them into almost tossed me out the first chance they got. I started at a new school, Spring- Ford Area High School, and took my straight A’s and turned them into almost all F’s.

Delta Winds page 32 by The Death Penalty: Alisha Ott

Society’s Injustice System

In the year 2002 alone, seventy-one Alisha Ott is pursuing a inmates were put to death. In 2003, degree in accounting. She thirteen prisoners were executed and …it is wrong to another twenty-six were scheduled to plans to start her own business die. In the United States, methods of execute after she graduates. When she execution range from mild torture such is not at school, she is working as lethal injection and electrocution, to criminals who more barbaric torment such as hanging at home or at home studying. or being shot to death by a firing squad. She also volunteers for VITA, According to Amnesty International, have become which is a program offered by seventy-six countries have eradicated the death penalty completely, and many mentally the IRS for free low-income countries that retain the death penalty tax preparation. Her hobbies have not utilized it for years (“Facts” 1). challenged or are photography and reading. Capital punishment should be abolished because of the following: it is not an insane after She also enjoys spending time effective crime deterrent, it may result in with her family and her the loss of innocent lives, it is morally they are sent to animals, as she is an animal wrong, and there are other, more hu- mane, alternatives. prison. lover. The death penalty does not contribute to the deterrence of crime. In fact, the death penalty may actually raise crime penalty for this reason. The countries rates. Studies posted by the Death that have abolished capital punishment Penalty Information Center confirm that have substantially lower crime rates. The in 2001, the murder rates in states which murder rate in the United States is three did not employ capital punishment were times higher than in countries such as thirty-seven percent lower than the France, Italy, and Sweden, all of which murder rates in those states which did do not use the death penalty as a form utilize capital punishment (“New” 1). of punishment. Capital punishment Researchers also found that Southern does not discourage crime and, as states, which are responsible for eighty studies have shown, may increase crime percent of the executions in the United in our country. States, have the highest murder rates in the country (“New” 2). Investigation into Capital punishment does not prevent the causes of higher murder rates in violent behavior in mentally ill or death penalty states reveals a connection retarded criminals. Criminals who are between executions and increases in mentally incapacitated before they are homicide. A study conducted on capital sent to prison do not have the state of punishment in Oklahoma found that mind or intellect to determine right “there was a significant increase in from wrong. Many of these criminals stranger killings and non-felony stranger commit violent crimes because these killings after Oklahoma resumed execu- individuals aren’t able to function tions after a 25-year moratorium” properly in society and do not under- (“New” 1). Capital punishment is not a stand the consequences of their actions. solution; it is a burden on society and These people do not understand the does more harm than good. Many other death penalty or comprehend what it countries have eradicated the death entails. As a result, the death penalty is Delta Winds page 33 unsuccessful in averting violent crime in ported by a statement his accomplice these individuals. Likewise, it is wrong made to a witness […]” (565). Roosevelt to execute criminals who have become Green was executed despite witness mentally challenged or insane after they testimony that he had nothing to do with are sent to prison. In his essay, “The the murder of the woman that was Death Penalty,” abolitionist David kidnapped. Unfortunately, our justice Bruck writes about a man named Alvin system is not always accurate and faulty Ford who is on death row in a Florida cases slip through the cracks. Families of penitentiary. Bruck paints a picture of a innocent people should not be made to man who has “[…] lost his mind during suffer for the inadequacy of the death his years of death-row confinement and penalty. Capital punishment poses a now spends his days trembling, rocking large risk to innocent people and their back and forth, and muttering unintelli- families. gible prayers” (564). In the case of Alvin Ford and many other insane convicts, The government has no right to put living each day as a prisoner in one’s conditions on human life. Life and death When the own mental hell is punishment enough. will occur at a natural pace, and it is In these cases, capital punishment does wrong for the government to interfere. not serve any purpose because these Helen Prejean, author of “Executions are government criminals are too incoherent to learn any too costly—Morally,” encapsulates this lesson from death. Most of them do not idea in her essay when she says “Allow- or even understand they are going to die or ing our government to kill citizens what they are dying for. The death compromises the deepest moral values individuals penalty is not a viable solution for upon which this country was conceived: offenders with mental problems because the inviolable dignity of human persons” make the they are incapable of normal thought (584). When the government or indi- processes and many cannot even grasp viduals make the decision to take an- decision to the concept of death. other human life and act upon it, they commit murder. When society advocates The death penalty puts innocent lives at capital punishment and allows the take another stake. It is widely recognized that our government to assassinate inmates, we justice system is not perfect. There are are no better than the murderers and human life times when people are wrongly accused common criminals who fill our prisons. of crimes or they are not granted fair Capital punishment is premeditated and act trials. There is still corruption in our murder. justice system, and bias and discrimina- upon it, tion occur. For example, in Chicago, The death penalty sends a confusing and twelve African-American men were contradictory message. Capital punish- they commit repeatedly beaten and tortured by ment strives to prevent criminals from former Lieutenant John Burge during murder and violent crimes by terminat- interrogation. Eleven of these men are ing the lives of those convicted. This is murder. currently on death row, while one man highly contradictory. The death penalty died of medical neglect at the hands of sends the message “Don’t kill or we will prison caretakers (“Justice” 1-2). These kill you.” Punishing an action with the men were not treated fairly, and their same action is incongruous and inconsis- right to a fair trial was stripped from tent. The death penalty is like spanking a them when they were beaten into child for hitting another child at school. submission and forced to sign confes- It only serves to confuse and reinforce sions. Were they treated this way the behavior rather than correct it. It just because they were African-American? doesn’t make sense. Capital punishment When innocent people die, the death only reinforces violent behavior and penalty has failed. Another example of serves no purpose but to avenge victims this failure is the case of Roosevelt and their families. Society is endorsing Green, who was executed in Georgia for revenge by embracing the death penalty. the kidnapping and murder of a young Capital punishment is not a correctional woman. According to author David tool; it is state-sanctioned revenge. Bruck, “[…] Green swore that his companion shot her […] after Green Capital punishment is not necessary had left and that he knew nothing about because there are other alternatives. the murder. Green’s claim was sup- First of all, tougher sentencing would Delta Winds page 34 Delta Winds page 35 help deter offenders from committing As a nation, we are responsible for crimes. According to the Bureau of maintaining justice. Throwing lives away Justice, of the “inmates under the in a practice that is flawed because our sentence of death” two-thirds had “prior government and politicians are too felony convictions,” and one-in-twelve indolent to seek other alternatives is not had “prior homicide convictions” (“Capi- just. Justice for victims, their families, tal” 2). Longer jail time for felons and and the innocent will not be obtained first-time offenders would keep them until capital punishment is eliminated. from entering society until they were able to rehabilitate. In addition, life sentences would prevent violent offend- Works Cited ers from committing additional crimes Bruck, David. “The Death Penalty” The New upon society. Also, keeping convicts in Republic. 20 May 1985. Rpt. in Current Issues prison is cheaper than executing them, and Enduring Questions. Ed. Sylvan Barnet and so it is a better alternative. A study from Hugo Bedau. Boston: Bedford St. Martin’s, 2002. the Death Penalty Information Center 563-66. revealed that North Carolina alone pays “Capital Punishment Statistics.” Bureau of Justice “2.16 million per execution over the costs Statistics. 08 January 2003. 16 February 2003. of a non-death penalty murder case with . a sentence of imprisonment for life” “Costs of the Death Penalty.” Death Penalty (“Costs” 1). Requiring inmates to pay for Information Center. 20 February 2003. . the cost to taxpayers. Allocating a portion of a prisoner’s earnings toward “Facts and Figures on the Death Penalty.” Amnesty International.org. 04 February 2003. facility expenses and programs would . should also be put into funds for crime “Justice For The Death Row 10!.” Campaign to victims and their families. Although end the Death Penalty. 25 February 2003. . help families reconstruct their lives. “New Deterrence Studies.” Death Penalty There are more constructive alternatives Information Center. 20 February 2003. . Human life is precious, yet society does Prejean, Helen. “Executions Are Too Costly— not hesitate to cast it aside into a system Morally.” Dead Man Walking: An Eyewitness that is mediocre at best, without re- Account of the Death Penalty in the United morse. Capital punishment does not States. 1993. Rpt. In Current Issues and deter crime, cannot ensure the safety of Enduring Questions. Ed. Sylvan Barnet and Hugo Bedau. Boston: Bedford St. Martin’s, 2002. 580- the innocent, and is morally deficient. 84. There are other alternatives. Murderers and violent offenders deserve to be punished for their crimes, and victims and their families deserve justice. How- ever, the death penalty is not the answer.

The death penalty is like spanking a child for hitting another child at school. It only serves to confuse and reinforce the behavior rather than correct it.

Delta Winds page 36 by King of the Road Loring Scotty Hoag

“Pic, pan, pnc, punk, pnt. . . .” help you adjust the part in your hair. Just listen to the engine purr . . . roar . The men continued to pound away on . . scream. . . .” I grinned. I loved that their hammers. Their work was quickly sound. Hear it just once in the driver’s evolving from seemingly random geo- seat and you feel like a Starbuck’s metric figures into sturdy wooden walls double-shot of adrenaline has been and roofs. Where only days before you sent straight to the frontal lobes of could see nothing but a barren field of your brain and forced throughout the dust and rock-solid adobe ground — rest of your biological system. Again! near-worthless soil that the local farmers had long since given up on — you could “Buh, luuuh-luuuh-luuh-luh-luh-luh- now make out the framework of the luh-lh-lh-lh-blooommmmmm,” it went. dozen or so new living establishments. “Bllllllloooom, bllooom-bloom.” It was You could see them all quite clearly from the perfect accompaniment to an where the road ends. I own that road, so egotistical megalomaniac like myself. I am king. Yes, it was pure performance perfec- tion, and the king of the road should I closed my torn, aged copy of The Great demand no less. Shark Hunt and set it down on the passenger seat. I was watching through I often sat there in the driver’s seat, the windshield of my silver Pontiac just staring out into the desolate field “All jokes aside, I’m a Trans-Am, which was covered with past the end of the road. The private dozens of pale transparent white road, about twelve feet wide and about a nineteen-year-old, long- splotches left by the naturally high football field in length, led from the haired, full time Delta calcium well-water shot from the sprin- main drag, passed by my little country College student who has a klers during the night. The paint was home, and then just seemed to end. wearing thin due to the intense Califor- Then there was nothing but the barren hard time taking life seriously. nia summer heat, and I could distin- field of dust. Even the bushes, the giant I like playing video games, guish some of the lighter spots on the trees, and the various other shrubberies sketching, writing, drinking hood in the silhouetted reflections of the came to an abrupt end. Road, trees, trees. It reminded me of the faded dust flowers, grass, *POOF*. Dust, crackled highly-caffeinated beverages, jacket on my book. “Have to wax this lumps of orange-red dirt, useless hard studying Asian cultures, thing soon,” I thought to myself. There adobe ground . . . nothing. Not so much taking long walks on the was one major nick in the front-left as a tumbleweed was visible in the void. shoulder guard and a few minor It’s like someone had taken about a beach, and meeting people scratches elsewhere. “Need to change hundred acres out of Death Valley and, with an offbeat sense of the tires, too.” in an attempt to get rid of it, just humor. Capricorn. Single. dumped it off here. Of course, the cosmetic qualities of an Sexy. Call me.” automobile are second to me. What “Psssshhhhh. . . .” —Loring Scotty Hoag mattered most was its raw, brute strength and power. Under the rough “Vvvvvvooooommmmm. . . .” curves of its calcium drenched hood lay “. . . Okay, just kinda sexy, an incomprehensible nightmarish Some cars passed by the entrance of my but still sexy. . .” labyrinth of wires, pipes, and assorted road, and I could hear them forcing the other gadgetry capable of out-perform- wind out of their way. They passed my ing up to 400 of the world’s finest racing road. That’s fine; it’s not their road to use horses — a true testament to the in the first place, and it wouldn’t take supreme hot rod engineering insanity of them anywhere except past my house, the mid-70’s. “So it could use a little my kingdom, and to the desert at the touch-up on the outside, big deal,” I road’s end. thought. “The guts are bright enough to Delta Winds page 37 Why doesn’t anything grow there? Why “Pnc, punt, puck, pac, pnt. . . .” does everything just end? These are the kinds of questions I would ponder in the The men in the blue overalls were captain’s chair of my silver ego-stimulant making good use of the useless land. while watching blurred streaks of blue You can’t do anything else with it, so lightning zip past. They passed by build homes on it. I could see them I own that silently, not like the forceful cars behind hauling up boards and planks to the me. They moved too quickly for me to unfinished roofs and could almost make road, so I am comprehend exactly what they were, but I out the sweat on their foreheads, even assumed that they must be birds of some though they were hundreds of feet away. king. sort, even if the sole reason for that train Urban development is very important in of thought was to explain all of the other California, especially in places like this splotches on my car not caused by the where people can easily commute to the late-night sprinkler system. Didn’t they Bay Area. I could make out the tracks know it was unwise to mock their king? where the mammoth lumber garbage trucks had gone past the end of my road “Yacch. . . . Wer, wer. . . .” to deliver supplies to the homes. My road. What right did they have to use Did the same blue blur make those my road? One of the truck drivers sounds? shouted down to me from his gargan- tuan cockpit about my silver carriage “Yacch. . . . Aighnn. . . .” being in his way.

There must have been hundreds of them “You act like you own the road, or resting in those trees. something!”

“The trees,” I thought as I shifted my “You want me to get out the deed?” I train of thought. I didn’t know what they thought to myself as he drove off of the were exactly. Redwood? Oak? I just knew royal pavement and onto the dirt of the that people must have stayed out of their lesser masses. The king never loses his way for quite a long time for them to get cool. as large as they were. They were all over forty or fifty-feet tall. Their leaves were Actually, that’s a complete lie. My like little green needles connected to long, egotistical mania exploded and rage thin twigs. They seemed too minute to overcame rational thought as I began to absorb light, but the huge groups that the swear random obscenities and act like a trees had amassed over the years could complete lunatic. This startled him and block out all light projected onto them he went to find another route. I sat back and could make the afternoon seem like down in the cab and picked up my book, 2:00 A.M. One small strand, about two glancing over some small pale coffee and a half inches in length at most, had stains stretching across the bottom of fallen off the tree and was caught in my the dust jacket. “I’ve been reading too windshield wipers. It was dry and brown. much of Hunter S. Thompson’s stuff,” I Its needles seemed sharp enough to thought. puncture skin. The trees seemed strong, but not even they dared to grow past the Are they going to try to extend my road end of my black asphalt road. Not even a to the houses? Are more people going to volunteer sprout could be seen. “It was try to share my throne? Will I remain good to be the king,” I thought. King of the Road? Of course, the cosmetic qualities of an automobile are second to me. What mattered most was its raw, brute strength and power.

Delta Winds page 38 by What Did You Say? Lorrie Condon

I asked her, “What in the world does ‘hecka’ mean?”

People often become upset and com- read the actual definition? If there is plain when a person behind the counter a definition at all! I am still trying to or on the phone cannot speak clear figure out the rules involved in English. Yes, this can be frustrating, but English and I have lived here all my has anyone been paying attention to life. We have so many words that some of the language native-English sound the same, but they are spelled speakers have been using? I have heard differently and have different mean- that English is one of the hardest lan- ings. Words like “where”— for where guages to learn. Personally, I think the are we going, and “wear” — for what American Slang Language is the difficult will I wear; how about “sale” and one to learn. Although this informal “sail”? Let’s not forget the number of language seldom makes any sense, it has words that have the same meaning but Lorrie Condon is a single become a colorful part of the American are actually different: “forward,” “ahead,” mother of three children. She Culture. and “advancing.” If this is confusing, a completed the Vocational whole book of these words is provided My daughter came home the other day for our convenience. Nursing Program at Delta, and we discussed her day at school. As and now has returned to finish she was talking I heard her say several Another baffling factor is what we call an her A.A. degree. She is hoping times that was “hecka fun” and that was idiom. An idiom is a ridiculous scenario “hecka cool.” I asked her, “What in the used as a form of expression. For ex- to enter the ADN program in world does ‘hecka’ mean?” She said, “All ample, I was sitting in the beauty parlor the fall. Her children are the kids use it instead of a cuss word.” the other day when an older lady walked grown, one is married, one is a That reminded me of when I was young; in. It had been raining most of the day we would use the word bad for good. and she was quite wet. Shaking off the sophomore at San Diego Since I was young, our society has rain and folding her umbrella she an- State University, and the last become increasingly comfortable with nounced, “It is raining cats and dogs out one is a freshmen in high using crazy substitutes for proper there!” I giggled at the thought. I have English, and we do not realize how silly never seen it rain cats and dogs. Come school. Lorrie has one it sounds. to think of it, I have never seen it rain grandchild. Going back to buckets, but I have used that expression school has been a challenge, Listen to some of the expression our kids myself a time or two. use in daily conversations: but she is determined to finish “Yeah, Dude that was whack,” “Not,” Last Friday my family and I went out for and accomplish her goal. “I’m down wit it,” “Tight.” Sometimes dinner. While we waited to be seated, my the words they use are not completed husband said, “I am so hungry, I could words at all. Take “Hello, how are you?” I eat a horse.” I thought he must be have heard it change from “Hi,” to incredibly hungry. Have you seen the “What’s up?” and now “SUP?” says it all. size of a horse? I wonder what he would I can only imagine how frustrating it have done if they had brought him a must be trying to learn our language. horse. He might have run out of there like a chicken with his head cut off. We I have seen many students walking would probably never eat there again, around the campus, looking up words in until pigs fly or hell freezes over. a translation dictionary. What can be running through their minds when they Delta Winds page 39 So the next time a person is having a hang with the big boys, ain’t no shame hard time expressing himself in English, or blame in dat. Keep it real and quit we should extend a little compassion. drinking that hater aid. Let’s show em Let’s back up and hold our horses. Chill da love. Dat’s it for now; peace out y’al; for a while, and give homeboy some gotta bounce; late. room. He and his peeps are just tryin to

Listen to some of the expression our kids use in daily conversations: “Yeah, Dude that was whack,” “Not,” “I’m down wit it,” “Tight.”

I have never seen it rain cats and dogs.

Delta Winds page 40