April 2012 THE REVOLT, ISSUE 12 Local Food Trayvon Martin Deals Is there anyway PAGE 12 and 13 to justify George Zimmer’s role in death of teen The killing of Trayvon Martin on February 26th of this year has sparked a heated, yet well-founded debate. Trayvon’s story is a simple one, he was simply walking back to his girlfriend’s house from a conve- nient store where he’d gone to pick Year-In Review up a pack of Skittles and an iced tea, but his simple story met a trag- PAGE 7 ic end when neighborhood watch- man George Zimmerman deemed him “suspicious” in his dark col- ored hoodie and white sneakers. In the call made by Zimmerman, on the 26th, he described a black male who was wearing a grey hoodie and white sneakers. When the dispatcher asked Zimmerman if he was follow- ing this person, Zimmerman replied that he was. The dispatcher then told Zimmerman “we don’t need you to 2012 NFL See Trayvon, Page 2 Draft PAGE 4 Why He/She Hates you Online

There will always be the they hate about men and, quintessential aspects to our honestly, they’re a far cry Dating opposite sexes that drive us from ground breaking news, unequivocally insane, and so pay attention guys! for both sexes these aspects are completely different. What are your tat- Summer Women, however, all seem toos saying about Blockbusters to generally share the same you? PAGE 8 opinions when it comes to See why he/she hates you Page 5 describing the top 5 things See Tattoo, Page 6 AND OH SO MUCH MORE... Trayvon continued from cover

do that.” Zimmerman disregarded that advice and said “they always get away” and what sounds like “fuck- Andrew Watkins ing coons.” Zimmerman’s pursuit of Trayvon eventually led to a confron- Editor in Chief tation and the killing of Trayvon; the question that ensues is ‘why?’ Why [email protected] did George Zimmerman shoot Tray- von? The answer to this question is where the story begins to pick up Jennifer Shubilla speed. Zimmerman claims to have been defending himself against Tray- Managing Editor von, who he insists attacked him [email protected] first. If Zimmerman’s story is true, then, due to the “Stand Your Ground” law in Florida, the killing of Trayvon Martin was not necessarily unlawful. Amanda Reiser The “Stand Your Ground” law states that a person may use deadly force then should Zimmerman be charged? everything in your power to escape Editor at Large to protect him or herself if a stranger Has he done anything wrong? That with your life? The answer is unde- [email protected] threatens their safety - get this - any- is where the controversy lies. The niably ‘yes’. What this case comes where that they have a right to be. “Stand Your Ground” law protects down to is the need to re-evaluate This law is at the center of the con- Zimmerman, as though he was fully the law that makes killing “okay”, as troversy surrounding Trayvon’s case Casey Dawes within his rights to end a young man’s well as the laws that allow ordinary because, in essence, it allows killers life, but just because the law says that civilians to carry guns. Furthermore, to roam free without consequence. what he did was justified does not it calls to attention America’s great Senior Staff Writer Unless an attorney can prove beyond mean it is, because the bottom line is need to address the over-arching is- a reasonable doubt that the killer was [email protected] that Zimmerman took a life. It was not sue of stereotyping. We need to stop not acting in self-defense in any way, a premeditated murder or done pure- focusing on the belief that this issue he or she is rarely charged with mur- Michael Buczkowski ly out of cold blood, but even still, it comes down to racism, because his der. Senior Staff Writer is a murder, and because of this many race doesn’t matter, black or white, Conversely, though, how can any- [email protected] believe he should be forced to face Trayvon was a person, and his death one be sure that Zimmerman’s story the consequences of taking a life. needs to be addressed as such. On is anything but true? Zimmerman’s Another point to consider, though, April 11, George Zimmerman was statement that Trayvon attacked him Staff Writers is how you might react in a similar charged with second degree murder. first was confirmed by a witness. -Al situation – if in fact Trayvon did at- The trial is sure to captivate a nation though he does not appear to have Greg Cooper tack Zimmerman, and he felt his life made up largely of people who want any visible injuries on police foot- was in danger, what he did was not justice for what they believe was an age, neighbors report that Zimmer- [email protected] necessarily right, but certainly un- unjustifiable act. man was sporting two large bandages derstandable. If you were walking a on the back of his head and a swollen Written by: Amanda Rei- Kelsea McSparron street in the dark and were overcome nose on the day after the incident. If ser & Gregory Cooper by another human, would you not do ([email protected]) [email protected] Martin did indeed attack Zimmerman ([email protected]) Jonathan Suski [email protected] Logan Godfrey [email protected] Nic Lakkis [email protected] Is Peyton Manning the Greatest Free Agent Christopher Grullon Reggie White disagrees; Al- [email protected] of all time? bert Haynesworth doesn’t The face of the NFL changed if the Broncos put the right been a plethora of impactful Randal Welsh dramatically on March 20th, pieces in place around him then free agents in that span of time. [email protected] 2012, that is the date when Pey- the future Hall-of-Famer could Only time will tell what Man- ton Manning decided to take his prove to be the greatest free ning accomplishes in Denver, Ross Lessard talents to Denver. This decision agent signing in NFL history. but in the interim I’d like to [email protected] has been met with some skep- Which brings me to the point present to you a few other play- ticism from analysts, as Man- of my article, is Manning, in ers who’ve made their case to ning eschewed the opportunity fact, the greatest player ever to be considered amongst the best Dr. Steven Putzel to throw to Larry Fitzgerald in grace the NFL’s open market? (and worst) free agent signings Advisor Arizona or to be backed by an He has been heralded deserv- of all time. elite defense in San Francisco. ingly as such, but free agency [email protected] However, Manning signed a has been around for almost five year deal with Denver and two decades and there have 2 characterized as eager for an $100 million deal with the fame into a five-year deal with The Best opportunity. Well, New Eng- Redskins in February of 2009. the Raiders. He remained with land gave him one and Vrabel He managed to play just two the team for two seasons and didn’t look back. Vrabel helped seasons in the nation’s capi- started only a single game. Reggie White - “The Minister lead his team to three Super tal, recording 53 tackles and of Defense” signed with the Bowl championships, not just 6.5 sacks over that time-frame. Adam Archuleta - Archuleta Green Bay Packers in 1993, the through his stellar defensive Haynesworth was notoriously blew up at the 2001 NFL com- first year of free agency, and he play, but also because of what outspoken and out-of-shape bine, which led to him being certainly proved to be worth he accomplished on the other during his time as a Redskin, taken in the first round of that the investment. In six seasons side of the ball. The lineback- failing to pass several condi- same year’s draft by the St. with the team White averaged er appeared in some goal-line tioning tests and being quoted Louis Rams. He had five suc- over 11 sacks per season and formations for the Patriots and as saying that he would rather cessful seasons in St. Louis, lead his team to the playoffs managed to snag not one, but be someone who could just during which he established in every season he played in two Super Bowl touchdown “go to Wal-Mart and hang himself as a solid in-the-box Wisconsin. Also helping his passes. out”, rather than play for the safety who excelled at defend- case is the Super Bowl record Redskins. ing the run and shorter pass- three sacks he recorded in the Plaxico Burress -Burress’ ten- ing routes. Archuleta hit the team’s Super Bowl XXXI vic- ure with the Giants began Javon Walker - Walker agreed open market in 2006 and was tory over the Patriots. with a bang and ended with a to a six-year, $55 million deal quickly signed to a six-year, whimper. In his three full sea- with the Raiders in March of $30 million deal by the Red- Deion Sanders - “Primetime” sons with the team he averaged 2008. Like most free agent skins. Archuleta managed just Deion Sanders is considered 1,075 yards and just under ten busts, he did not play out the seven starts in D.C., primarily one of the best cornerbacks of touchdowns per season. He length of his contract. He man- because the team expected him all time, and rightfully so. He also caught the game-winning aged just 7 starts and 15 catch- to be better in coverage than he joined the 49ers in 1994 and touchdown pass in the Giants es during his tenure as a Raider. was capable of. led that team to a Super Bowl Super Bowl XLII victory over Fortunately for him, however, victory. Just a season later he the Patriots. One has to won- he was paid around $21 mil- Scott Mitchell - For every did the same for the Cowboys. der what else he could have lion for his two years with the Steve Young or Kurt War- One has to wonder if either of accomplished with the Giants team, that’s over $1,000,000 ner there’s a player like Scott these teams would have ex- had he not shot himself. per catch! Mitchell; a backup quarterback perienced the same amount who was not able to succeed of success were it not for the The Worst Larry Brown - On the strength when thrown to the wolves. presence of “Neon Deion”. of two interceptions in Super Mitchell began his NFL career Albert Haynesworth - Haynes- Bowl XXX, Brown was able as a backup to Dan Marino and Curtis Martin - Unfortunately worth signed a seven-year, to turn his fifteen minutes of impressed when given the op- for Martin, the teams he played portunity to start due to injury. on were not as talented as he This garnered interest from was, so his own greatness has around the league and even- been overshadowed. The Re- tually landed Mitchell with volt is here to make sure that the Detroit Lions. There were Martin gets the recognition high hopes for Mitchell, who he deserves. Martin joined inherited a team which boasted the Jets in 1998 and broke the names like Barry Sanders and 1,000 yard mark in each of the Herman Moore, but he was next seven seasons. He ranks largely underwhelming and af- just below Emmitt Smith and ter five seasons was out of the Barry Sanders on the NFL’s motor city. all-time rushing list.

Mike Vrabel - This is undoubt- edly the most under-the-ra- By Andrew Watkins dar signing on my list, but it Editor in Chief [email protected] doesn’t serve to diminish Vra- bel’s impact in New England. Vrabel did not start a single game as a Steeler and almost definitely could have been

On the Cover Rocket, Patrick Star Patrick Rocket,

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- Flint Willam Neutron, Jimmy Brown,

from left: Shaggy, Olive Oyl, Charlie Charlie Oyl, Olive Shaggy, left: 3from 2012 NFL Mock Draft Logan Godfrey reveals who your favorite team will take 2012 NFL Mock Draft – Logan presence in the middle of their de- With Andrew Luck about to Godfrey – 4/1/12 fense. enter the AFC South and Cortland Round 1 – No projected trades 13. Arizona Cardinals – Melvin In- Finnegan leaving the Titans, shor- 1. Indianapolis Colts – Andrew 6. St. Louis Rams (from Washing- gram, OLB/DE, South Carolina ing up their pass defense is an ab- Luck, QB, Stanford ton Redskins) – Justin Blackmon, The Cardinals do not shy away solute must if they wish to compete Andrew Luck is believed to WR, Oklahoma State from taking the best player avail- this season. be the most pro-ready passer since The Rams scored 16 offen- able, and that’s Melvin Ingram. He 21. Cincinnati Bengals – Janoris the man who he’ll most likely be sive touchdowns in 16 games last would help to bolster a pass rush Jenkins, CB, North Alabama taking over for, Peyton Manning. season; Blackmon scored 18 in 13. that has been lacking since Calvin Fortunately for him the The ground fell out from the Colts This team is desperately in need of Pace signed with the Jets in 2008. Bengals do not shy away from trou- without Manning last season and offensive firepower and Blackmon 14. Dallas Cowboys – Dontari Poe, bled players, just ask Adam Jones. they need to find a successor if they is the number one receiver prospect DT, Memphis He provides the team with a true have any hopes if returning to the in this year’s draft. Jay Ratliff has played well replacement for Jonathan Joseph elite of the NFL. 7. Jacksonville Jaguars – Michael as a pass-rushing nose tackle in the as well as an answer to Pittsburgh’s 2. Washington Redskins (from St. Floyd, WR, Notre Dame Cowboys 3-4, but he’s sized more Antonio Brown. Louis Rams) – Robert Griffin III, If Blaine Gabbert is to have like a 3-4 defensive end. If the team 22. Cleveland Browns (from At- QB, Baylor any sort of success in Jacksonville takes Poe they could put him on the lanta Falcons) – Stephen Hill, WR, The Redskins gave up their than the team needs to surround nose and shift Ratliff over to end. Georgia Tech next three first round picks and this him with better receivers than Lau- If Poe could play up to his potential The Browns absolutely year’s second in order to move up rent Robinson and Mike Thomas. the duo could prove to be a devas- must improve their offensive fire- four spots. RGIII is the most ex- Floyd fits the bill. tating combination. power in this year’s draft if they citing prospect to come out since 8. Miami Dolphins – Ryan Tanne- 15. Philadelphia Eagles - Michael wish to provide Colt McCoy any Michael Vick and he’ll almost cer- hill, QB, Texas A&M Brockers, DT, LSU chance of success. Hill has the size tainly be in the nation’s capital next The Dolphins’ quest for a The Eagles addressed their and speed to dominate. season. franchise-caliber quarterback con- two biggest needs this offseason, 23. Detroit Lions - Jonathan Martin, 3. Minnesota Vikings – Matt Kalil, tinues. After missing out on Peyton linebacker and offensive tackle, and OT, Stanford OT, USC Manning, Alex Smith and Matt Fly- are now afforded the luxury of tak- Matt Stafford proved his This pick is almost as cer- nn, the team needs to make some ing the best player available. Andy worth as a franchise quarterback tain as the first two. With a fran- sort of statement to their fan base Reid has never shied away from last season, finally staying healthy chise running back in Adrian Peter- that they’re serious about winning. taking talented big men and Mi- for a full sixteen games. If the Li- son and a first-round quarterback in 9. Carolina Panthers – Fletcher chael Brockers is one of the best in ons wish to keep him upright then Christian Ponder the Browns need Cox, DT, Mississippi State this year’s draft. they must improve an offensive line a franchise tackle to facilitate their The Panthers used to have 16. New York Jets – Mark Barron, which gave up 36 sacks last season. success. While not quite on the lev- a fearsome defensive line, but SS, Alabama 24. Pittsburgh Steelers – Dont’a el of Joe Thomas, Kalil is undoubt- then Kris Jenkins and Julius Pep- The Jets pass defense played Hightower, ILB, Alabama edly the best prospect in this year’s pers departed for greener pastures. well last season, but Darelle Revis The Steelers have never draft. Cam Newton greatly improved this can’t cover everyone by himself. been a team to shy away from stud 4. Cleveland Browns – Trent Rich- team’s offense last season, but if The Patriots have a wealth of talent- linebackers, and that’s what High- ardson, RB, Alabama they are to have any hopes of win- ed pass catchers and the Jets need to tower is. He’ll replace James Far- The Browns lost Peyton ning a championship then drastic provide Revis with some assistance rior and provide a quality partner improvements need to be made on if they have any hopes of usurping to Lawrence Timmons for the next defense. them as AFC East champions. decade. 10. Buffalo Bills - Riley Reiff, OT, 17. Cincinnati Bengals (from Oak- 25. Denver Broncos - Devon Still, Iowa land Raiders) – Cordy Glenn, OG, DT, Penn State The Bills addressed their Georgia The Broncos absolutely major needs via free agency this With Andy Dalton now must get a presence inside with offseason, signing Mario Williams firmly entrenched as the starting the departure of Brodrick Bunkley. to bolster their pass-rush and resign- quarterback in Cincinnati, the team Peyton Manning may not be in love ing receiver Stevie Johnson. How- could use an insurance policy. The with the choice, but it will help him ever, in the midst of their spending wide-bodied Glenn will help to in the long run as Still’s presence free they lost tackle Demetress Bell. keep Dalton upright and open holes will limit scoring opportunities for Reiff provides an improvement over in the running game. opponents. Bell and helps to improve what is 18. San Diego Chargers – Courtney 26. Houston Texans – Kendall shaping up to be an explosive of- Upshaw, OLB, Alabama Wright, WR, Baylor fense. The Chargers had just one Kevin Walter had a nice run, Hillis this offseason and that left 11. Kansas City Chiefs – David De- player who eclipsed four sacks last but he isn’t a true starting receiver. Brandon Jackson as their most ex- Castro, OG, Stanford season and with Peyton Manning With Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, perienced rusher. If Colt McCoy is It is rare for guards to be se- now in the AFC South they could and Wright, the sky is the limit for to start this season under center the lected this high, unless they’re con- certainly afford to bolster their pass the Texans’ offense. team should certainly look to sur- sidered an elite prospect. DeCastro rush. 27. New England Patriots (from round him with some better offen- certainly fits the bill. He’ll help to 19. Chicago Bears – Quinton Co- New Orleans Saints) – Dre Kirkpat- sive weapons, Richardson qualifies. blow open holes for Jamaal Charles ples, DE, North Carolina rick, CB Alabama 5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Morris and the newly acquired Peyton Hill- The Bears could certainly Tom Brady isn’t the reason Claiborne, CB, LSU is. afford an injection of youth in their the Patriots haven’t won a Super Ronde Barber may have a defense, with Peppers, Urlacher and Bowl in seven seasons, it’s the de- season or two left, while Aqib Talib 12. Seattle Seahawks - Luke Kue- Briggs all over the age of 30. Co- fense. Devin McCourty took a big may spend a season or two in jail. chly, ILB, Boston College ples has the potential to be the next step back from his rookie season With the offensive firepower in the Kuechly is the best line- Peppers and would serve to light a and if Brady is to have any hopes NFC South, the Bucs absolutely backer prospect in this year’s draft fire under this aging defense. of getting another ring then the de- need an elite cover man; which is class and with the loss of David 20. Tennessee Titans – Stephon just what Claiborne is. Hawthorne the team could use a Gilmore, CB, South Carolina 4 fense must improve. 29. Baltimore Ravens – Mike Ad- will be reuniting with his college 32. New York Giants – Doug Mar- 28. Green Bay Packers – Andre ams, OT, Ohio State coach and giving defensive coordi- tin, RB, Boise State Branch, OLB, Clemson Adams would provide the nators nightmares. The Giant’s aren’t the It’s no secret that the Pack- Ravens with a book-end tackle 31. New England Patriots – Nick ground n’ pound team they once ers need a complement across from across from Michael Oher. He’s a Perry, DE/OLB, USC were, but they could still use a com- Clay Matthews. He got double and tremendous run blocker and would The Patriots pass defense pliment to Ahmad Bradshaw after sometimes triple teamed most of help to open holes for Ray Rice. didn’t suffer last season solely due the loss of Brandon Jacobs. last season because opponents re- 30. San Francisco 49ers – Coby to the ineptitude of their cover men, alized he was the team’s only de- Fleener, TE, Stanford the pass-rush could use some help fensive threat. If the team wishes The 49ers take a page out as well. Perry recorded 9.5 sacks Written by: Logan Godfrey to hoist the Lombardi trophy again of the Patriots playbook by pair- last season and would be a welcome ([email protected]) then they must draw some attention ing two talented tight ends, Coby addition to a defense desperately in away from Matthews. Fleener and Vernon Davis. Fleener need of help.

one guys, and trying to get her to go out with you by guilt-ing her into it isn’t going to get you very Why She Hates you far. 5.) The Man’s Man Cont. from cover sible for you to always be right. keep this in mind the next time Women are not incapable of cut- When you refuse to admit defeat, you decide to try to impress us 1.) The Know-It-All - This ting down a tree, killing a spi- women begin to believe you live by talking about your “sick-ass guy is: der, or taking out a linebacker in a world of delusion, in which [insert flashy American muscle 1.) Never wrong (in his (believe me, if a woman wanted you are the King, sole game-win- car name here]” that’s been “in- mind), to, she could take out an army of ner, and ruler of the world, and the-shop” for the past year and a 2.) Never able to admit that linebackers – she says “tampon” thus begin to lose faith in you – half. he might be wrong, once and she’s cleared the field) the first step towards a break-up. 4.) The Whiner 3.) Never able to admit that so please do not treat us as though 2.) The “Chill” Guy - Do not, This is the guy who finds the he may ever have been wrong we are. The next time you think ever, tell a woman, to “chill”. cloud attached to every silver in the past, we’re not as strong or capable as Synonyms: “relax”, “calm down”, lining. If this guy found twenty 4.) Never able to accept you, think about the last time you and “stop freaking out” bucks on the ground, he’d be up- that he may ever be wrong in had to worry about forcing a ten- Avoid at all costs. set that it wasn’t fifty. Further- the future. pound human being out of your 3.) The Big-Shot – also known more, this guy likes to play the This is the number one turn-off body and while you’re thinking, as “The Tool” - You drive a 1989 “I’m-not-good-enough-for-you” when it comes to a guy – women you can head off to the kitchen Buick Le Sabre, you are not a card whenever he can to evoke appreciate logic, and so they ap- and make us a sandwich. “boss”. pity from his female counter- preciate when you show your log- The more you act like hot shit, the part. A word to the wise: self- Written by: Amanda Reiser ic skills by realizing it is impos- less women see you that way, so pity does not look good on any- ([email protected]) usually find a bit of jealousy cute, it’s when it becomes a serious is- sue that we begin to have second Why He Hates you thoughts. This is especially true if the jealousy is coming from a In the last issue of The Revolt I Women however will head to the much time spouses spend togeth- girl who we’re not yet officially wrote a piece about how to tell if mall with no particular product in er. Over time those little quirks dating. We understand if your last a guy isn’t in to you. This time mind, solely because they enjoy you used to love about your other boyfriend was a jerk and cheated around I’m writing to inform our shopping! That’s unfathomable to half start to annoy you. The cir- on you, and we sympathize, but female readers about what it is most men and nightmares become cumstances are a bit different as we’re not him! We’re with you or that might be turning him off from reality when they’re asked to it pertains to college students, but pursuing you for a reason and you you, other than him being an in- come along. Truthfully we have the concept is the same. Much of not trusting us could be a reason sensitive jerk of course. no idea if that sweater matches the thrill in dating is in the ‘hunt’, why we give up on you. your purse and we feel awkward or the pursuit of someone. When just walking past Victoria’s Se- you constantly ask us to hang out Withholding Information - It re- Shopping - Don’t get me wrong, cret. So ladies, next time you’re that thrill is taken away and we ally irks me, and probably many it’s not that guys care if their girl going shopping please be more tend to lose interest. Now I’m not other men, when a woman tells shops, they don’t. It’s when they understanding when your man is saying you must play hard-to-get you she’s ‘fine’ even though she get brought along for the shopping reluctant to join. to attract a guy, but try not to take clearly isn’t. We really don’t excursion that things sometimes it personally if he’d rather watch know what it is that we did wrong go awry. When men shop it’s usu- Clingyness - We love you too, the game or hang out with the and you could save us both a lot ally with an item in mind and the really we do, but please leave us guys for just a day. of trouble by simply informing time spent in the store will be de- alone! My guess is that so many voted solely to getting that item. marriages fail because of how Jealousy - This one’s crucial. Guys 5 us. The same applies to birthday and Christmas Online Dating presents. We know you won’t really won’t be fine In the not so distant past on- Even more convenient is eHarmony- boasts that it is you know dates are authen- line dating was new and ta- the fact that current services the #1 trusted dating ser- with whatever we get you, tic students boo, an activity that people cater to people seeking all vice in America, and that it Ashley Madison- specifi- that’s why we’re asking. may have been hesitant to kinds of relationships rang- differs from others with its cally for married people or If you could be so inclined join for fear of seeming like ing from friendship, causal matching based on 29 di- people in serious relation- as to tell offer us a hint, or a total loser, and those who dating, long-term dating, mensions of compatibility ships looking to stray, tag- even tell us outright, then did join may have looked hook-ups, even marital af- Zoosk- a “romantic” ver- line is “Life is Short. Have you’ll avoid the awkward- at it as their dirty little se- fairs and sugar mama/sugar sion of Facebook an affair.” ness of pretending to love cret. In the last couple of daddy type arrangements. Plenty of Fish- one of the Date My Pet- pet lovers can that hand lotion the lady in years however the stigma Although college campuses best deals out there, free to connect here the mall told us you’d just has been considerably lift- seem to create environ- initiate and reply to mes- Be Naughty- promises safe love. ed, while more and more ments where dating occurs sages no-strings attached fun people move past the skep- more organically, there’s Match.com- offers the most Tall Friends- people of Talking - This one could ticism and preconceived no- also a huge rise among matches and best search above average height that tions and see online dating college-aged users of on- tools come off as a bit mean, but are most comfortable dating for its practicality. Chemistry.com- creates a other tall people it echoes the sentiments In this day in age everyone database based off personal- Diamond Daddy- the ulti- of many men around the is linked in to the internet, ity and interpersonal chem- mate Sugar Daddy website globe. Some girls just talk with smartphones enabling istry The Ugly Bug Ball- serves too much! We turned up 24/7 access. We shop on- Christian Mingle- narrows the “aesthetically chal- the radio because we like line, we pay our bills on- the dating pool to those seri- lenged” this song, please don’t turn line, we reconnect with old ous about their Christianity Darwin Dating- dating for it back down. We’ll be friends online, so why not Interfaith Mingle- search “beautiful people only” for more than willing to hear meet potential dates online? for people whose religion is survival of the hottest line dating websites, includ- all about your day in four The laundry-list of “why important to them without Cougar Life- mature wom- not” reasons of the past is ing sites targeted directly restricting it to one certain en looking for younger boy minutes or so. It’s not that at students. Additionally, we don’t love to hear your shortening day by day, with faith toys recent statistics showing there are services aimed at JDate- a Christian Mingle voice, it’s just something 420 Dating- website for pot that of the 54 million single senior citizens, and even for Jews smokers who want to hit the else has captivated us and people in America, 40 mil- ones specifically made for ManPlay- dating services bong in the company of oth- we’d like to devote our un- lion have tried dating on- people of certain religious for gay men er marijuana lovers divided attention to it for line; and online dating has denominations and ethnic PinkCupid- matches up les- STDMatch- for when those just a few minutes. So la- a projected revenue of $2.1 backgrounds. bians pesky stds get in the way, dies, if there’s two outs in billion -proof that users With so many online dat- Our Time- singles over the this is for singles who want the bottom in the ninth and are not just the desperately ing options to choose from I age 50 a mate that shares their sex- the bases are loaded please hopeless, tragically ugly, or thought I’d give a few of the Black Planet- exclusively ually transmitted disease more successful ones and grant your guy a minute or pathetically awkward. In a for black daters lot of cases they are attrac- follow up with sites that are Student Love- college dat- two to get lost in the spec- humorous and/or seemingly Written by:Jennifer Shubilla tacle. tive, confident, and success- ing site that requires a .edu ([email protected]) ful. unbelievable. email address to register so Written by:Andrew Watkins ([email protected])

Get Your Grub On Local Food Deals ATTENTION FINAN- cally engineered your body CIALLY STRUGGLING to run without needing COLLEGE STUDENTS: nourishment, then you have College is the last stage of to eat like the rest of us. our lives before we enter With tuition rising, gas pric- the work force as produc- es skyrocketing, and pretty tive members of society. much everything getting To get a good job that pays more expensive, we’re al- well, it isn’t mandatory to ways looking to make some have some sort of college kind of deal when it comes degree, but it’s certainly to spending money. preferred. However, col- The Valley may not be the lege is far short of cheap, most exciting place in Amer- and it can be hard to bal- ica, but it definitely has one ance a job while going thing to offer: countless res- through school. taurants with amazing food Unless you have scientifi- at decent prices. Whether 6 you’re looking to get a cheap meal -III Guys is a wonderful environ- cellent All-American dining experi- Night”, which is sure to offer a fine to make ends meet, or somewhere ment for the whole family, as well ence at decent prices meal for you and all of your ami- to go with friends to have a good as excellent bar service for those -Mondays and Wednesdays gos/amigas. time and a meal, there are plenty over 21 hold their $0.40 wings special -They have many more specials to of places to cater to our appetite of -Come in on Thursdays for offer, so be sure to stop in and see cheap food. -The Checkerboard Inn, Carverton $5 dozen clams what you are missing for yourself. Road, through Trucksville -Again, for those looking to kick -Grotto Pizza, Harvey’s Lake: -Stop in on Saturdays for back with a couple of brews, every This article is not meant to be a sales -On Mondays they run a $5.25 Buffalo Bites week night from 5-7PM is Happy pitch for any of these restaurants; I special for a regular, 1 topping piz- -Also running from Satur- Hour, along with Saturdays from am writing this in the simple hopes za for $5 day to Monday, get a personal pizza 8-10PM. They offer your favorite that you might read this and be in- -Tuesdays are All-You-Can- with 1 topping for $4.95 drafts in pints, mugs and bottles spired to go and check out these lo- Eat-Pasta -Wednesdays hold their Steamers ranging from $1-$1.75 cal food venues for yourself. Hav- -Wednesday is Wing Night special for $4.25 a dozen, along ing lived in the Valley for just about -Grotto also runs different late night with a special on a very generous -Pizza Bella, Wyoming Avenue, my entire life, I have eaten at all of specials, making it a great place to platter of delicious Spaghetti & just off of 309 these places and more, and guaran- eat and relax by Harvey’s Lake Meatballs -Pizza Bella has multiple chains tee that you will find at least one -Tuesdays and Thursdays, head in in Forty Fort, Plains, Dallas, Nan- that you might end up becoming -III Guys Pizzeria, Dallas Memorial for Old Forge 10-cut pies for $9.50 ticoke, and Hanover Township; all a regular at. Whether you’re on a Highway: -They also run many other din- offer the same excellent food and tight budget and need cheap food, -On Mondays, stop in for a ner specials, if you look on www. service at a reasonable cost. or just need a night out, there are dozen clams for just $2.25 checkerboardinn.com you can see -On Mondays, be sure to check out plenty of places to eat to appease -Tuesdays offer burger & their entire menu & specials their XL pies for $6.99 any appetite. fries combos for $5, and Bar Pie -Tuesdays are their “Seafood Night” pizzas with 1 topping for $4.99 -Bo Brothers, Wyoming Avenue in -Wednesdays marks “Free Topping Written by: Casey Dawes ([email protected]) -Thursdays mark $5.99 a Forty Fort Night” dozen wing night as well. -Bo Brothers offers an ex- -Thursdays are their “Mexican on how Governor Tom Corbett was behind Pa- terno’s firing. The report included several sto- ries, including a reported sighting of the gover- nor celebrating Paterno’s firing shortly after the Year-In Review decision was made known, and another person disclosed a conversation they had had with Cor- Way back in August, the 2011-2012 Penn State counts of sex crimes against young boys on or bett where the governor said “I told them to do school year began. It’s hard to believe that it’s near University property, following a three-year it”. The source of the conversation was former been only eight months since that first day, be- investigation. Sandusky was arrested the next Penn-State player Bob Capretto, who mentions cause a lot has changed since then. For many of day, and banned from Penn State the day after that his reply to the statement uttered by the us this was our first year as a part of the Penn that. Once the investigation became public, sev- governor was “You don’t realize what you have State community and it has proved to be one eral high level officials were dismissed or fired created here. The damage to Penn State is enor- we will never forget - we have seen ourselves for perjury, failing to notify the authorities, or for mous”. Although Corbett and a handful of Penn conquer seemingly impossible classes and have trying to cover up the incidents. The most note- State trustees have denied these reports, more turned strangers into friends, but even more im- able, however, was the firing of Paterno on No- anonymous sources have begun to come forward portantly, we have pulled through one of the vember 9th, on the basis of having notified only and support the argument that he is in fact behind most horrifying moments in Penn State history University officials as opposed to law enforce- Paterno’s firing. This is a big deal for Corbett, so while maintaining our community pride. Due to ment. The firing of Paterno initiated a fury of we will most likely see more news on this in the the scandal that altered the reputation of Penn backlash from students and non-students alike. days to come. State and caused the subsequent firing of Joe Riots broke out and caused up to $200,000 worth Now that the year is finally coming to a close, we Paterno, a dark pall was cast on the Penn State of damage to the University Park campus.. Not can look back and realize how strong the Penn community early in the year. Since November long after his removal from the position of Head State community is. We were thrown into a col- when the scandal was made public, information Football Coach was it reported that Paterno had lege campus filled with people we didn’t know, has continued to come out, shedding increasing a treatable form of lung cancer, complications of our loyalty and devotion to the University was amounts of light on the situation that changed which led to his death on January 22nd, 2012. tested numerous times throughout the year, and Penn State forever. Many people believe that the sadness of his dis- we turned people that were strangers at the be- On November 4, 2011, Pennsylvania Attorney missal after his 46 year history as head coach is ginning to lifelong friends at the end. Although General Linda Kelly indicted the former Penn what caused him to die so quickly. more challenges are sure to surface in our many State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky on 40 On April 4th ESPN released a detailed report coming semesters at Penn State, this year proved that they are nothing we can’t handle, after all, We Are…Penn State.

See Jobs, page 12 7 Letters to the Editor Editor’s

I am writing this letter on behalf of the article “Tylenol Be Damned: Unorthodox Hangover Remedies” in The Revolt. I Favorites had tried using all seven of the different methods that you stated in the article and each and every time I woke up, I still I wonder what are had a terrible hangover. I had even told the costs associ- ated with damage some of my buddies to use the meth to the University’s ods and they also told me that they property and infra- still had gotten a hangover… It just structure, be they made people want to drink more be - through normal wear and tear, ma- cause they thought they were going licious activity, or Bill O’Brian to wake up feeling great. forced alternative. I the - also wonder if there i n – Concerned Student is a cost associated with making respectful decisions with regards to the treatment of I enjoyed reading my campus. Turns out there is; $15. Co- article “What Women Want?” incidently, this is the cost of a ticket for Issue 12 of The Revolt. At first, I had no parking a student registered vehicle in the staff parking lot adjacent to the Techni- idea what I wanted to get my girlfriend for - cal Center. While it is encouraging to see Valentine’s Day. I read that article and it the increase of students in attendance, the helped me out… I applaud you for using a available CUSTOMER parking is inad- panel of ladies to help you with making sug equate. My fellow students and I are faced gestions to the majority with making some decisions given the lack of spaces. If time is of the essence, parking of guys who were in my two miles away is not viable. You can park position. –James Taylor in the ghetto, only to be harassed by the mouth breathing maintenance staff. The fashionable forced alternative seems to be - placing your truck or SUV above the curb- I am writing to you about your recent “Vote or ing and in the grassy areas of the student Die” article in The Revolt. My main quarrel is lot. This practice damages the erosion pro- the snide comments about the Republican can - tecting grasses and subjects the curbing to - forces they were not designed to take, and didates. Making backhand comments about the while not immediate, the long term repair candidates, such as telling potential voters they and replacement cost to the University will are lucky for not being familiar with the nomi be noteworthy. –Michael Cefalo nees, seems very unprofessional and offends Re publicans such as myself. –Tyrell Cunningham

Repsonse to: - Tebowmania I appreciate Ms. Shubilla’s effort to get Penn State students more politi Photo/Video credit: Getty Images cally involved by providing them with information like the deadline to register I am writing in response to the and the dates of primary debates…I come recent article entitled “TEBOWMA- from Russia where the right to vote in free NIA: The NFL’s Most Popular Player- Leaves Fans With More Questions and fair elections is still in many ways being Than Answers”. I found portions of fought for. As an American citizen, I believe this article strayed from the topic I that we should treasure and take responsibly believed I would be learning about. the freedom we have to elect the President of It made for lengthy and somewhat the United States. –Elena Vieczorek tedious reading with an abundance of unnecessary information… Sim- ply put, I am curious how the title of this particular article came about because I felt there was such a lack of questions that were “left unan- swered”. While I realize the title is - an individual’s first impression of a is too emotionally based on hiring the new story, misleading a reader is not in I understand losing a legend such as Joe Pa the best interest if said magazine for the Penn State community. But, by using or newspaper wants to be consid- ered a responsible, reliable source I feel your article as the voice of alumni and Penn Staters, it - of information. On the contrary, it coach Bill O’Brien. sits on the verge of a rag magazine, terno is upsetting with less than acceptable topic Lar Var Arrington support. –Drew Walker made us look irrational…You could have chosen someone with a more eloquent and rational view on why they would be upset over O’Brien. Your article did not have any real cons to why O’Brien shouldn’t be hired. Your only point was he never was head coach…I think you should have fo

cused morePicture on how from PennO’Brien Live. can be a good aspect to the team instead of the negatives. –Lindsay Clime 9 Reading continued from page 2

Written by: Jon Suski ([email protected])

of course. So why not permanently are hard to distinguish from stripes the logo of any sports team or other Tattoo scar your body with an image of when drawn on the body. What oth- company. continued from cover this majestic fish? People will im- er options were there? mediately know how smooth you Flowers – You don’t see flowers We get it. You’re a rebel. You are and probably feel relaxed in Other inanimate objects - So you running around with pictures of hu- drink from the carton. And your presence. Interesting note- In like to hunt. Get a T-Shirt. I’m sure mans drawn on them. Which of us your artistic sense manifests china, coy fish represent spiritual- the last thing Bambi wants to see don’t have brains? itself in permanent ink being ity. In America, they represent stu- before he goes is his antlers etched punctured into your body be- pidity. into your side. Consider it an act of Chinese writing/Tribal tattoo – If cause you want to show the mercy. you speak Chinese this becomes world how badass you are. Crosses – So you decide to memo- acceptable. However, odds are that Thanks to the pioneering ef- rialize Jesus Christ’s suffering by Anyone’s name – This just seems for most of the people wander- forts of Popeye the Sailor getting a few holes in your own to scream, “Look at me, everybody! ing around America with Chinese Man, tattoos made it a whole body. Thankfully, somewhere along Somebody likes me enough to con- writing on their skin, this isn’t the lot easier to be part of the al- the way, someone decided that get- tinue to associate with me even case. If you must get a tattoo, get ternative crowd. ting religious symbols tattooed though I have their name perma- it in a language you speak fluently. on you was badass. So now you nently etched into my body.” The same goes for tribal tattoos. What are your tattoos saying can show how filled with Christ’s If you’re more likely to be spotted about you? love you are without letting go of Celebrity – If you thought it couldn’t in an Ed Hardy T-Shirt with your your street-cred. Interesting note- get worse than tattooing someone’s “bro’s” than with your tribe, don’t Koi fish – You want a tattoo WWJD? – Not get a tattoo. name on yourself, here you go. It’s get one. that’s both graceful and re- creepy enough to get the name of laxing for people to look at. Barbed-wire – It’s sharp and no one someone you do know imprinted on What’s more graceful and re- likes to touch it, much like the peo- your skin, but this takes it to a whole new level. If Bob Marley were alive laxing than a sparkling coy fish ple who rock this timeless tattoo. See Tattoo, page 12 gliding through cloudy tank You wanted something that said he probably couldn’t care much waters in your favorite Chi- “tough,” “dangerous,” and “maxi- less that he’ll forever hold a spot nese restaurant? Why, nothing, mum security prison,” and bars on your back. This also applies to 10 Hollywood Lacks Deja-Vu Orginality

Some of you may have noticed that remake in 2011 made $8,114,388; The Birds: Originally made in 1963 way this new Vacation movie could Hollywood seems to have lost all of however that was a short lived suc- and directed by the suspense master have the same quirky fun the original its originality. It appears they’re fol- cess. It grossed $18 million but the mind Alfred Hitchcock; Hollywood had. lowing the three “quells;” prequel, 1985 original grossed over $24 mil- decided to remake it. The Birds in Pet Semetary: If you’ve ever seen sequel, and equal (remake). Doesn’t lion according to IMDb . And as ex- 1964 was nominated for an Oscar the original you would know it was anybody have their own ideas any- pected Footloose 2011 pales in com- and won a Golden Globe in the same scary. Whenever Hollywood re- more? Directors and producers just parison to the original 1984 version; year. Granted the effects are almost makes a scary movie all they do is keep rehashing the same old stories not just total money grossed, but in guaranteed to be better and the movie make it gorier. The first was rather with half the success of the original. the eyes of most film critics as well. is sure to be more gruesome and gory gory and to add more it seems little I think Hollywood needs to take a Let’s face it; just because one movie (as most scary movie remakes are). overkill more than anything else.. step back and come up with some ends up being a total success does Hopefully they keep Hitchcock’s Again, this is probably going to be new ideas. not mean if you remake it, it’s going sense of creepy mystery without one of those movies that everybody America has been taking movies to be as big of a success. completely copying it straight from will have huge expectations for just from other countries for decades. That’s not going to stop Hollywood the original. to be disappointed in the theatre. The Sometimes, remakes can act as hom- from trying. Here are some movies National Lampoon’s Vacation: “I release for this movie is scheduled age to how great a film was. More that are being rebooted as we speak: think you’re all f****** in the head”, for 2013 and hopefully has the same often than not though, it’s simply a American Pie: Who hasn’t seen this if you think this movie will be half creepy atmosphere as the original. way to cash in on someone else’s movie? If you have then you would as good as the original. Chevy Chase My point is Hollywood has lost all of idea. Unfortunately, most Ameri- know that there is no reason for it (Clark Griswold) will be back as the it originality and creativity because cans do not realize these movies to be remade. And if you thought it grandfather to Ross’ and/or Audrey’s everybody is too afraid of losing are remakes so it makes it easier for sucked, do you really think they can children. I have a hard time believ- money. I think playing it safe is hurt- them to like the movies when they improve it? The new one is set ten ing this is going to be a good movie. ing more than helping. Take a risk, have nothing to compare it too. years in the future with the Jason If you look at other movies like Lit- Hollywood. The people want some- If you were to look at scary movies, Biggs (Jim Levinstein) and Seann tle Fockers, starring Ben Stiller and thing new, something fresh, some- a lot of them are remakes and people William Scott (Steve Stifler) repris- Robert Di Niro, did not even turn thing they haven’t seen before. I’m don’t know it. Hills Have Eyes was ing their original roles. It’s hard to out to be half as good as the origi- all for recycling, but Hollywood has a remake, the original was made in see what they could really be doing nal, Meet the Parents. There’s just no taken it to a whole new level. 1977and did considerably better in in the future. They have to be getting the box office than its 2006 counter- Written by: Kelsea McSparron pretty old to be doing the sophomoric ([email protected]) part according to the Internet Movie antics that charmed us in 1999. Will Database (IMDb). In 77’ Hills Have Finch still be after Stifler’s mom? Eyes grossed an estimated $25 mil- Will Jim be even more awkward? lion and had a budget of about Do we even care? I think this will be $230,000. The 06’ version had a bud- just another one of those movies that get of $15 million , but it only made everybody will be really excited for a little over $700 thousand . Another just to be let down when they actu- example would be Fright Night. The ally see it. Motorcycles

Summer’s approaching, and as it romance movies. From mopeds to gets warmer outside people begin Harley’s, there are options for any- to lose layers of clothing and car one interested in riding. windows roll down. Who doesn’t Another added bonus is the love the feeling of the wind blow- money you’ll save on gas. Many ing through their hair as they drive bikes and scooters get around fifty down the open road? There’s just miles more per gallon than the av- something about the feeling that erage car or truck. In another cost- the road and teaching them how to very dangerous if the proper safety makes people want to sing along saving mechanism, motorcycle in- ride. When one earns their license precautions are not met. It cannot with their favorite artist at a so- surance is much cheaper than what they enter into a sort of unspoken be taken lightly as one wrong move cially unacceptable volume. It’s might be expected for something brotherhood. Random gathering can be critical. Of course, so long akin to riding your bike down the which is viewed as dangerous by of bikes pop up all over the place, as you wear a helmet and ride re- steepest hill in town when you were many. from either a few bikes parking near sponsibly then safety shouldn’t be younger. Sophomore Mike Palkovic a few others or one group pulling a major issue. That being said, Now imagine a feeling more stated that he rides a motorcycle be- up next to another, there is always a summer’s approaching quickly, and exhilarating than those two com- cause, “it’s economical and there’s strong sense of community among as temperatures continue to rise be bined. As those who’ve already no better feeling than being on the riders. sure to enjoy the road and watch out converted to two wheels can at- open road.” I would definitely en- A fuel saving freedom ma- for motorcycles! test, there’s nothing quite like rid- courage anybody looking to save a chine that grants one the opportu- Written by: Ross Lessard ing your bike down the open road. little cash or just curious about why nity to make new friends, I know, it ([email protected]) Contrary to popular belief, motor- so many people love riding to give almost sounds too good to be true. cycles are for more than just the it a shot. There are several free, And that can be the case, if you don’t attractive troubled teens in sappy state-sponsored training programs treat it as seriously as experienced aimed at getting people ready for riders. Riding a motorcycle can be 11 Jobs continued from page 9

Hollywood Lacks Orginality

Written by: Aaron Bomba ([email protected])

do this? If you’re going to get a tat- Tattoo too wouldn’t you like to see it as continued from page 10 well? Getting any sort of tattoo in Breasts - If you expect to procre- this region of the body seems to act ate someday, don’t get a tattoo on as an advertisement for how easy your breasts. You’ll be saving your one is. If you want to receive any child(ren) a world of embarrass- sort of respect from your peers, then ment and avoid the suspicion that this isn’t the area to get inked. their mother was once a stripper. Written by: Andrew Watkins & Aaron Bomba([email protected] & ajb5158@ Lower back - Do people really still psu.edu)

sation with you. can be a hint as to what she wants What Women Don’t want you to be like toward her, if she de- Following along with red flag num- scribes what she wants in a guy and This is a Public Service Announce- sorry, my friend from out of town ber 2 – if you find that she never you have less than three of those ment for all the guys out there who is in and I promised her we’d hang starts a conversation with you, she’s qualities, she isn’t into you, and just aren’t quite sure when to call it out”, or any other seemingly lame avoiding contact where it’s unnec- she’s going to relatively desperate quits when pursuing a woman – you excuse as to why she isn’t available essary. This is, again, to avoid giv- lengths to tell you without having know who you are guys. If you’re to spend time with you. This is the ing you the wrong idea about her to actually say it. If she talks to you not sure, though, here are some number one, classic sign that she feelings for you. To be direct, if she about other guys, she views you as questions to help you identify your- isn’t feeling you. To be fair, though, wanted to talk to you – she would. a friend, and that’s that. self: when women use this tactic it is al- most always because they are try- 4.) She’s ever used the word Throughout this article, women can 1.) Have you asked her to hang ing to spare your feelings, guys. “friend(s)” to describe your rela- certainly come off badly – trying out more than once, despite her con- No woman ever wants to tell a guy tionship in any way. to be sneaky to tell you they don’t stant response that she’s “so busy”? “look, I’m just not interested in want you – but it’s important to re- 2.) Have you poked her on you”, because, let’s face it, it’s just You know, she knows, even your member that being in the position Facebook to get her attention? as uncomfortable and disappointing dog knows that when you open the to have to deny someone isn’t com- 3.) Do you text/call/speak to to hear it as it is to have to say it. text fortable for anyone, and in the end, her every day or almost every day? that says “I’m so glad we’re friends she’s trying to find a nice way to let 4.) Are you always the one ini- 2.) She’s sporadic in respond- :)”, she is sending you a clear sign you know she isn’t interested with- tiating conversation? ing to your texts/calls/messages. to back off on the flirting, or the at- out bruising your ego. So keep these tempts to take her out. She doesn’t red flags in mind the next time you If you answered “Yes” to any of She can tell when you’re trying, want to have to tell you that she pursue that cute girl in your math these questions– this article is an guys, and if you’re texting her, call- doesn’t want to go on a date with class and she starts sitting further important piece of literature for ing her, messaging her on the book you. There can be many reasons and further away from you. Respect you because you may not know it, (that’s facebook for those of you behind why a girl uses the f-word that being in the position to shoot but you’re striking out. The first who are currently scratching your to describe your relationship, but someone down is an uncomfortable thing guys have to know is that if a heads at my use of hilarious slang) more often than not it’s because she one, and don’t put her in it – and woman is interested in you, you’ll and her response takes more than 45 doesn’t see you in that way. hopefully the next time it’s the oth- know. Rarely, if ever, is she inter- minutes to an hour, she’s avoiding er way around, she’ll be able to tell ested if you’ve ever truly ques- the conversation. She can tell where 5.) She talks to you about other that you’re not interested and you tioned whether she’s interested or the conversation is going, and she’s guys/what she wants in a guy. won’t have to pretend you dropped not. Since women can sometimes afraid to send you signals that may your phone in the toilet so you don’t be hard to read though, here are a lead you to believe she wants you, Though sometimes when she’s tell- have to text her back. few “red flags” to help tip you off or, to be blunt, she may just not be ing you what she wants in a guy it that she’s not into you: interested in the conversation. No one wants to admit that, however, so Written by: Amanda Reiser 1.) She’s conveniently unavail- as a general rule of thumb, back off (aer5236@psu. able/ always has a reason why she if her responses are sporadic or curt edu) can’t hang out with you. (she uses responses like “okay”, “haha”, and “yeah” instead of ones “I’m so swamped with homework”, that keep a conversation going). “I haven’t been feeling great lately, I think I should just rest”, “I’m so 3.) She never initiates conver- 12 Try these variations: Seated your workout? Muscles Dumbbell Press on a Swiss Try these variations: Rows- Maybe he’s not into you Do women care about a ball, Alternating Dumbbell Dumbbell Row, Machine Men are often perceived as man’s body as much as Press (seated or standing), Low Row, Bent Over Row, totally clueless as it per- Referring back to my first Arnold Presses men seem to, stereotypical- T-Bar Row tains to women, even the tip in which I mentioned ly, obsess over a woman’s? Safety Tip: When OR Physical Limita- strongest of men some- inconsistent texting, this The common answer would going heavy always use a tions- Can’t do pull ups? times stumble over their isn’t an accident! We live in probably be no, because as spotter. The spotter should Try assisted pull ups or lat words when in the pres- a society driven by technol- men we tend to verbally be spotting by holding the pull downs to strengthen ence of a pretty girl. But is ogy and very few people put more emphasis on a wrists of the lifter when the muscles around your the opposite true as well? go an hour between text woman’s physique, where help is needed, NOT the back so you can do your We’ve all been on this Earth messages with someone as women tend to verbally elbows. Also, when doing own pull up. for the better part of two they really want to talk to. focus more on personality. standing exercises, a weight Safety Tip: Doing decades and thus, have Furthermore, if when he But NEWSFLASH GUYS, belt is suggested to avoid pull ups in any variation likely experienced rejec- does text you his texts con- tion. It’s an unfortunate sist of less than ten charac- this does NOT mean that lower back injury. (overhand, underhand, fact of life and it’s also what ters, odds are his interest women don’t care! neutral, or wide) should be makes us so reluctant to in you is lacking. The same People are attracted to dif- 4th Place- Butt (Gluteus done to the front so your reject someone else. It’s a goes for phone calls, if he ferent things and have dif- Maximus) face is looking at the bar. shitty feeling and one we rarely answers you or seems ferent types, but attraction Traditional Exer- Doing pull ups behind your don’t wish to cause anyone urgent to end the call when is still an essential aspect cises: Squats, Lunges, Leg head can stress out the else, at least not directly. he does, then the writing is to both sexes when search- Press, Donkey Kicks joints in your shoulders and So we drop hints in hopes on the wall. ing for a significant other. Time Crunch? Best Exer- putting too much pressure that you’ll get the message In an open poll 189 out of cise: on your neck. Also, if you before it goes too far. La- 4.) He makes it a point for 200 women said that they Squats have to jump to grab the dies, here’s a list of a few of you to see him with other would need to be physi- Very well known, and bar, try standing on a box these hints to keep an eye girls cally attracted to someone usually the most loathed and lifting your feet while out for so that we can both avoid that shitty feeling of Although this isn’t the kind- to consider dating them, exercise by weight lifters performing this exercise so rejection. est of strategies, it is one everywhere. Squats are and out of those 11 in the that you can avoid turning that has been employed by other category 5 of them the best exercise for build- an ankle or hurting your 1.) He never asks you to men in the past. If every said they would consider it ing leg and core strength, legs when jumping down. hang out time you log onto Facebook but weren’t sure it would as well as hardening your For rows, make sure your you can’t help but notice work. In an attempt to help glutes so you look good in back is straight when doing If it seems like he’s avoiding that he’s posted on another the men on campus, I took that new summer pair of any type of row, this does you, he is! Most of us have girl’s wall, or there are a a poll of 100 Penn State jeans. not mean vertical! Just a strategy for the “court- bunch of girls posting on women in attempt to find Already have this in make sure that your back is ing” phase of a relation- his wall, this may be his way out what women are at- your workout? not rounded or arched un- ship, and very rarely does of informing you that he’s tracted to. The poll ques- Try these variations: naturally. it include three months of not interested in a commit- tion, what is your favorite Dumbbell Squats, Single inconsistent text messages ted relationship. This meth- and broken dates. A date od isn’t limited to Facebook, muscle on a guy? Leg Squats (Dumbbell or 2nd Place- Biceps should be planned within as you might have noticed After polling 100 Barbell), Sumo Squats, Box Traditional Exer- one-two weeks of the he always seems to be flirt- women I have found the Squats cises: Different Variations “talking” stage. Men have ing with another girl when- top 5 muscles that Penn OR Physical Limita- of Curls notoriously short atten- ever you’re around. He may State women like and I tions- Switch it up to Leg Time Crunch? Best Exer- tion spans and odds are if just have a naturally flirty have compounded these re- Press, less stress on your cise: we don’t have a first date personality, or he may be sults with ways to improve knees and joints. Barbell Curls planned within a few weeks trying to make you see that of the desired areas. Work- Safety Tip: When Barbell curls are the best of meeting you, then we he isn’t the ideal mate you ing out isn’t just a hobby, squatting you should exercise for building up the never will. once pictured him as. it’s a habit; and hopefully always use a spotter. The front muscles in your arms knowing what women are spotter should be spotting because it hits your biceps, 2.) You only hang out 5.) He talks to you about when the sun’s down things you couldn’t be any looking at will help you by standing behind the lift- wrists and forearms. It also less interested in. er to help and avoid injury. turn it into a lifelong habit. makes it harder to cheat Now maybe your guy works Spring break may be over Also, when lifting heavy while doing this, whether all day or busies himself Now hear me out, some but summer is right around and especially when doing standing or sitting, because with schoolwork and really guys really are just oblivi- the corner, so think about barbell squats, a weight belt both arms have to work is only available to see you ous and think you want to these top 5 muscles the is suggested to avoid lower together. by night. However, if you hear about the Yankees’ 27 girls are checking out when back injury. Already have this in know that this isn’t the World Series victories, but you’re getting ready getting Front Squats are great too, your workout? case and your hang-outs most of us know better. If ready to don that swim suit. but they focus a lot more Try these variations: Ham- seem to consist of a lot of his conversations with you on the quad. mer curls (outside or “adult extracurricular activ- revolve around things like 5th Place- Shoulders (Del- inside), preacher curls, ity” than odds are he’s not how many beers he can interested in a relationship drink, hunting, belching, toids, Upper Traps) 3rd Place- Back (Lats, Tra- concentration curls, French with you. I don’t want to farting, or the intimacies of Traditional Exercis- pezius, Rhomboids) (aka Front) Curls say that chivalry is dead, his previous relationship, he es: Shoulder Press, Lateral Traditional Exercis- Safety Tip: When but it’s safe to say that it’s might be trying to turn you Raise, Front Raise, Upright es: Rows, Lat Pull Down, going heavy always use a in decline. If you’re cur- off. And if he’s not, is that Row, Shoulder Shrugs Pull Ups, Straight Arm spotter. The spotter should rently in a “relationship” really the type of guy you Time Crunch? Best Exer- Pushdown, Pullover be standing in front of you that seems to mirror this want to involve yourself cise: Time Crunch? Best Exer- while spotting and focused then that’s your preroga- with? Shoulder Press cise: on helping lift the barbell tive; as consenting adults, Whether sitting or standing, Pull Ups up if the lifter reaches fail- nobody can cast judgment Written by: dumbbells or barbell, this One of the best combina- ure. To avoid rocking, try on you. However, don’t say Andrew Watkins The Revolt didn’t warn you (ajw5396@psu. is one exercise that really tion workouts you can do. Written by: Michael edu) works your shoulders; giv- These, along with push- ([email protected]) when he doesn’t want to take your relationship to ing you that wide, bolder ups and crunches, are the the next level. shoulders look that will military’s bread and butter round out your t-shirt. for strength training in boot 3.) Conversation is lacking Already have this in camp. or non-existent your workout? Already have this in 13

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