THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES April 15, 1997 PAGE 13 THE PEEL DEAL / MOVIE REVIEWS The In-Jokes While Scream tells a frightening story, it also has fun skewering its own genre. The school janitor's name is Freddy and he dresses in red-and-black stripes. Sidney's horny beau is played by Skeet Ulrich, a dead ringer for Johnny Depp, who starred in Craven's original A Nightmare on Elm Street. One character gets killed by a garage door. Henry "The Fonz" Winkler is cast as the principal ... need I say more? The Opening Scene Victim num- ber one is Drew Barrymore, who is forced to watch as her boyfriend is disemboweled and then quizzed on Friday the 13th. The hands-down creepiest segment of the decade so David M. Moir/ Dimension Films far, it has such a frightening effect Drew Barrymore is terrorized by a not-so-friendly caller in the because it starts of with such a play- creepy opening segment of Scream. ful tone, kind of like a crank call... and who hasn't gotten a crank call? Scream Is Still a Scream Barrymore's great, brief performance (she's gone before you can say "Fil- The Scary Horror Satire Has Yet to Die let O'Fish") is reminiscent of Janet Leigh's in Psycho. Jamie Peck of a southern California high school The Plot Twists In a time of shock- Courtesy of Premiere Retriever Weekly Staff Writer via phone; he quizzes them about ers like The Usual Suspects and As spy-for-hire Simon Templar, Val Kilmer lies low ... likely from The Saints shaky plot. scary movies, and if they get the an- Seven, Scream dares to keep its Still going strong a solid four swers incorrect, they die. It's such a killer's identity a mystery until the months after its five-day-prior-to- cracklingly good premise, that we end, a risky venture because it runs Look For a Great Saint Elsewhere Christmas opener, Wes Craven's bit- don't just watch it play out — we're the possibility of losing our attention ingly funny and shocking horror part of it. as we debate during the plot devel- Val Kilmer and Elisabeth Shue Carry a Not-So-Super Spy Flick satire Scream (***'/2 out of four) The Cast Who doesn't want to root opments. But by introducing a mo- Jamie Peck Russian oil billionaire and former sparks Kilmer's subdued vigor. I has just been honored with a for smart, tough, virginal Sidney tive for each character — and then Retriever Weekly Staff Writer communist boss Ivan Tretiak (Rade found myself enjoying the dialogue rerelease. But who'd have thought (Neve Campbell)? It's to Craven's, introducing an offsetting alibi — it's Serbedzija) hires Simon to steal the in their scenes together more than any that such a blood-laden flick would credit that his heroine is imbued with easy to focus on what's going on. And In The Saint (**lh), Val Kilmer cold fusion formula of Dr. Emma of the flat stunts or fighting se- garner some of the biggest holiday such a plucky personality that we when the denoument finally arrives finally — and thankfully — gets him- Russell (Elisabeth Shue), a pretty quences. In fact, I haven't been this box office bucks? Here are five rea- have no problem pulling for her. The (however unrealistic it may be; my self out of the jungle adventure ho- Oxford scientist with a heart condi- disappointed with the adventure parts sons why Scream has gone on to be- other characters work well too, es- only carp with Scream is that the psy- kum that killed his last two films, The tion. All of Simon's adventures in- of an "adventure" film in quite some come the highest grossing genre film pecially Jamie Kennedy's nerdy cho violates the logic he/she murders Island of Dr. Moreau and The Ghost volve disguises, so he poses as an time. I think a lot of this has to do of all time. video store clerk and Rose by in the final scene), it's much like in the Darkness. And while The Saint intellectual artist to gain her trust, with the bad guys; because they're The Plot A killer stalks the students McGowan's busty best friend. the rest of the movie: a scary surprise. can be an unholy mess at times, it's infiltrate her apartment and lift the such stuffy bores in a genre that needs still good enough to give Kilmer an formula. Emma falls for him, and un- over-the-top menace, you never re- Abbotts Needs Some Reinventing alluring role for his magnetic pres- fortunately, he returns the gesture. ally care if Simon and Emma will ence. While The Saint is so labored un- defeat them. Despite a Nice Cast,4 This Period Piece Often Lacks Heat Based on the novels of Leslie der a plot that will frustrate anyone If The Saint launches a franchise, Charteris, The Saint is about Simon who couldn't follow Mission: Impos- I pray that the future installments Jamie Peck Templar (Kilmer), a sophisticated sible, much of it is uncannily have both a higher energy level and Retriever Weekly Staff Writer thief-for-hire with a high-tech arse- watchable: here's a thriller where a better sense of focus as far as the nal and a sky-high price tag. A most of the big action scenes fall flat action scenes are concerned. Here's Pat O'Connor's Inventing the cheesy, incoherent flashback seg- — because the storyline is so easily a movie that defies the genre by Abbotts (**) tells the story of two ment tells why he chose the life leads; forgotten, you're often left wonder- blowing those things off while con- families in a small, Midwestern town it has something to do with an abu- ing what exactly is going on — but taining some really interesting char- in the"t950s: the prominent, wealthy sive stay in a Catholic boarding the central character relationship, the acters — typical category entries like Abbotts and the not-as-renowned, school and the death of a childhood one between Simon and Emma, gen- this week's Double Team do just the working-class Holts. But for a love girlfriend — draw your own conclu- erates a lot of heat. opposite. And in that respect, if in no story, Ken Hixon's script, based on sions. Shue's beautiful pluckiness really other, The Saint is a Godsend. the story by Sue Miller, is just half full of chemistry, and as a tearjerker, the only thing weeping are the wil- Double Team Never Qualifies lows that adorn the Abbott's front lawn. Van Damme and Rodman Are Trouble in a Dopey Thriller The plot is ripe with the soap op- eratic schmaltz that turned O'Con- Jamie Peck nor's previous Circle of Friends into Retriever Weekly Staff Writer unforgivable tripe. But melodrama Merie W. Wallace / 20th Century Fox Joanna Going, Billy Crudup, Jennifer Connelly, Joaquin Phoenix can be salvaged by atmosphere and Ripe with explosions, mass death and Liv Tyler, the cast of Inventing the Abbotts, offer more charm deft casting (Friends' only credit was and really weird hairdos, Tsui than the soapy screenplay. Minnie Driver's luminous debut), Hark's Double Team (*'h) must be and Inventing soars in at least those older brother's shapely flame. The riod pieces, and Inventing the Abbotts the result of a tipsy Hollywood two areas. One needless aspect of the other Abbott girl is prim, pretty Alice is game enough to juggle them for a power lunch that decided Jean- film is the redundant, uncredited (Joanna'Going, a dead ringer for while. But the two most compelling, Claude Van Damme needs another voice-over narration of Michael Alyssa Milano), whose two month interesting characters — Jacey and notch on his bad movie-bedpost Keaton. pregnancy is pushing her into a shot- Eleanor — are broken up sooner than and NBA superstar Dennis Rodman Sleepers' Billy Crudup and To Die gun wedding in the beginning of the expected. Before too long, the film should have an acting career. For's Joaquin Phoenix play the Holt film. blossoms into a Doug-and-Pamela Actually, in Double Team, brothers, Jacey and Doug. Their wid- After a sensuous sex session in the story, and Tyler and Phoenix are neither's performance is bad. I've owed mother (Baker) has been hav- woods, Eleanor gets busted by Mr. regulated to try and out-bland each always been the one critic to defend ing financial troubles ever since her Abbott and sent away — and no fair other (in the end, they both win). Van Damme — he possesses a high husband died in a car accident some telling where. Before you can say The whole film is exceedingly charisma level that some genre stars time back. Jacey is hot and heavy "raging hormones," he's set his sights well-performed (Crudup exhibits real (namely Steven Seagal) never aim with bad girl Eleanor (Jennifer on the newly-divorced Alice. Doug raw charisma), but most of the char- for; it's just that he's never made a Connelly), the middle Abbott sister, follows suit, and begins pursuing a acterizations are one note. Watch the movie as exuberantly witty as much to the unhappiness of her fa- romantic entanglement with Pamela. fantastic, taut tension in Crudup and 1994's TimeCop. And Rodman ... ther (Will Patton), an upstanding steel And then, it's revealed that Ms. Holt Connelly's scenes — if the other well, he's pretty much Rodman. factory owner. might have been more than just three major players were in roles this He's extremely colorful, and there- Doug has a flirty, just-friends re- neighbors with Mr. Abbott at one juicy, Abbotts would be very much fore he pretty much fits his role to lationship with wholesome Pamela time. worth a look. As it is, the standard a T, even if the role is that of an ex- (Liv Tyler), Eleanor's little sister, What we have here is enough blandness needs some serious rein- CIA weapons expert. even though he secretly lusts for his people and relationships for 20 pe- venting. It's the story that needs some major work. Van Damme plays counter-terrorist operative Jack Now Playing at Your Local Theater... Quinn, who teams up with arms Capsule reviews by Jamie Peck. dealer Yaz (Rodman) to rub out The Devil's Own (***'/:) Brad Pitt's deadly gangster Stavros (Mickey performance ranks as high as his powerful Rourke, all beefy and weird-look- turns in Seven and 12 Monkeys as an Irish emigree in the U.S. to export Stinger mis- ing) in an Antwerp amusement Alan Markfield / Columbia Pictures siles back to his homeland. Harrison Ford park. The job is botched when is uniformly strong as the New York cop Stavros' son gets killed in the gun- As if his role as an undercover operative in Double Team weren't who unwittingly takes him in. We don't re- fire, and Quinn is taken off to an awful enough, Jean-Claude Van Damme has to worry about a ally learn anything new about the IRA, but really bad hair day. do we need to? The Devil's Own assaults island known as "The Colony" — the senses with plenty of brisk tension. a think tank for soldiers "too valu- guilty pleasure. But too much tries land mines and hold on to Quinn's Grosse Pointe Blank (**+'/i) As a able to kill" but "too dangerous to to happen in each frame, and the re- baby boy (who's in a bomb- hitman who reluctantly goes back to his set free." sult is a movie that leaves you ex- equipped basket) — all this while hometown for his 10-year high school re- union, John Cusack gives his slickest, fun- Quinn escapes and tries to make hausted rather than exhilarated. The Stavros watches shirtless from the niest performance yet. The story itself offers it back home to his pregnant wife numerous action scenes are loud and bleachers. Did I mention Double plum roles for a nice supporting cast and (Natacha Lindinger), but Stavros is headache-inducing and the frenetic Team is strange? plenty of uproarious,darkly comedic seg- out for revenge and kidnaps her. So, pacing never slows down enough for When it all comes down, this is ments. Grosse Pointe is the most hysterical movie so far this year. what's a kickboxing mercenary to us to care about what's going on in just another rarely entertaining for- Liar Liar (***) A hotshot attorney (Jim do? Quinn looks up Yaz and the two the movie. mula killathon, albeit one that feels Carrey) is forced to tell the whole truth for travel to Rome so they can rescue And much of what's going on is no need to indulge in gratuitous a full 24-hours. You never really buy Carrey the woman, kill Stavros, save the just wacky. There's a whole segment profanity. Rodman juices things up as a lawyer (is he really believable as any- thing but Jim Carrey?) and the movie doesn't world and do whatever else the devoted to net-surfing monks that I with his blatantly vibrant screen take off for a good half hour, but once things screenplay requires them to do. have yet to figure out. And the cli- persona, though, leading up to a get funny, they don't stop. I dare you not to With crazy, often eye-popping max finds Quinn going head-to-head stunt where he kicks an opponent lose it in one sequence where Carrey Melinda Sue Gordon / Hollywood Pictures camera work by Peter Pau and with a tiger in the Roman Coliseum between the legs. But we didn't bounces venomous (but honest) insults off the executives in a board meeting like rub- John Cusack keeps an eye on Minnie Driver in the uproarious Rodman's Lite Brite locks, Double while Yaz circles them on a motor- need Double Team to tell us he ber balls. Grosse Pointe Blank. Team should be a mildly enjoyable cycle, trying to avoid running over could do that, did we?