Shifting the Line: Boys Talk on Gender, Sexism and Online Ethics
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Shifting the line Boys talk on gender, sexism and online ethics Nicola Gavey, Octavia Calder-Dawe, Kris Taylor, Jade Le Grice, Brandee Thorburn, Sam Manuela, Makarena Dudley, Senuri Panditharatne, Riane Ross, Angela Carr Shifting the line Boys talk on gender, sexism and online ethics Nicola Gavey Octavia Calder-Dawe1 Kris Taylor Jade Le Grice, Ngāpuhi, Te Rarawa Brandee Thorburn2 Sam Manuela Makarena Dudley, Te Rarawa, Te Aupōuri, Ngāti Kahu Senuri Panditharatne Riane Ross Angela Carr Te Kura Mātai Hinengaro | School of Psychology, Te Whare Wānanga o Tāmaki Makaurau | The University of Auckland. 1 SHORE and Whariki Research Centre, Massey University. Now at Te Kura Tātai Hauora | School of Health, Te Herenga Waka | Victoria University of Wellington. 2 Now at Avondale College. 2021, June Research monograph published by Te Kura Mātai Hinengaro | School of Psychology Te Whare Wānanga o Tāmaki Makaurau | The University of Auckland Science Centre 23 Symonds Street Auckland Central Private Bag 92019 Auckland 1142 New Zealand shiftingtheline.ac.nz This research was supported by The University of Auckland, Netsafe (through an Online Safety Partnership Grant, funded by the Ministry of Justice), and the Marsden Fund Council from New Zealand Government funding, administered by the Royal Society of New Zealand (grant number UOA1119). Cover illustration: Toby Morris Report design: Justin Westgate, Antipode Studio Suggested citation: Gavey, N., Calder-Dawe, O., Taylor, K., Le Grice, J., Thorburn, B., Manuela, S., Dudley, M., Panditharatne, S., Ross, R., & Carr, A. (2021). Shifting the Line: Boys talk on gender, sexism and online ethics. Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland: Te Kura Mātai Hinengaro | School of Psychology, Te Whare Wānanga o Tāmaki Makaurau | The University of Auckland. ISBN 978–0-473–51737-3 (softcover) ISBN 978–0-473–51738-0 (PDF) © 2021 Nicola Gavey “Real men cry” “I’m just doing my part to try break down barriers of unhealthy thinking men have around masculinity ” Sonny Bill Williams, former All Black (Williams 2018a, 2018b) “I’ve been involved in sport my whole life and the level of sexism is unreal.” Andy Murray, Olympic & Grand Slam tennis champion (quoted in Burrows, 2018) “Toxic masculinity is everywhere. It’s up to us men to fix this.” Jordan Stephens, hip hop artist (Stephens, 2017) “I’m interested in the idea of challenging patriarchy. It’s obviously awful for women but it also cuts men off from their emotions side and seems to produce men who are disconnected from their feminine-feeling side.” David Pocock, former Wallaby rugby player (quoted in Christensen, 2018) “Men with privilege – our silence speaks volumes. It perpetuates systems of violence and upholds #rapeculture. We’ve gotta use our privilege to be part of the solution.” Rhys Jones, Ngāti Kahungunu, public health doctor (Jones, 2019) Shifting the line: Boys talk on gender, sexism and online ethics | 1 Contents Executive summary 2 Chapter 1 Introduction 5 Background: Context and research 6 The wider context of ‘rape culture’ 6 Online sexual harassment and sexualised abuse 8 Protesting and dismantling rape culture 10 The broader prevention context 11 Preventing online sexual harassment and sexualised abuse 11 Inviting and supporting boys to be part of the solution 12 Chapter 2 A sociocultural approach: Theory and practice 15 A theory of change in action 16 Methodology – Workshops with boys and young men 18 ‘Boys Talk’ – Workshop design 21 Chapter 3 Masculine norms and their production: How gender matters for boys too 27 Boys talk about what’s expected of boys and men 28 The flight from femininity: Boys talk about what’s off-limits for boys and men 32 Shaping and policing masculinity 38 In conclusion 46 Chapter 4 Onsharing nudes beyond their intended audience I: Norms and ethics 47 Gendered patterns, motivations and consequences 50 Wrestling with the ethics 58 In conclusion 60 Chapter 5 Onsharing nudes beyond their intended audience II: The art of intervening 63 (Mostly) wanting to intervene 65 Loyalty and belonging in friendship groups 68 The complex social art of intervening within a peer group 74 In conclusion 83 Chapter 6 Conversations towards shifting the line 85 Boys reflecting on the impact of the workshops 86 Boys’ ideas about how to create spaces that facilitate change 87 In conclusion 93 Chapter 7 Discussion 95 A sociocultural model of working with boys as potential change agents: Where to from here? 99 Notes 105 References 119 Appendices 137 Appendix A: Supplementary participant and workshop details 138 Appendix B: Transcript style, notation and formatting conventions 140 Appendix C: Supplementary interviews and analysis 142 Brief report: Young men involved in a performing arts production about gender Acknowledgements 148 2 | Shifting the line: Boys talk on gender, sexism and online ethics Executive summary In Aotearoa New Zealand, as in other parts of the world, we too often hear about the latest instal- ment of ‘toxic masculinity’ to make the headlines – cases of boys and men acting with a sense of dominance and entitlement, treating women as objects that exist purely for their pleasure or amuse- ment.1 Globally, the spotlight has increasingly turned to the role of men and boys in countering this kind of sexism, sexual violence and harassment against women and girls, both off and online. We conducted research to explore a way of working with secondary school age boys and young men to support and facilitate their contribution to positive change away from a culture that tolerates online sexual harassment and sexualised abuse. Our work with boys focussed on online communication between boys and girls, which we framed within a broader context of gender equality and ethics. We worked with boys who were interested in thinking about these issues and helping provide insights into how boys can promote positive change in their own peer circles in relation to equality. Through workshops, we explored ways of supporting and building on these young men’s willingness to recognise sexism and interrupt harmful gendered norms and behaviours. This report presents our sociocultural approach to making sense of the persistent problem of online sexual harassment and sexualised abuse, our ‘theory of change’ and the nuts and bolts of how we translated this into a model for working with boys that facilitates their readiness to support positive social change. It also discusses key findings from testing this model in workshops with over 50 boys and young men in Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland. The boys who participated in the project contributed as cultural informants, commentators, and sometimes critics. They offered observations and perspectives that provide a window into understanding the gendered sociocul- tural context that local young men grow up in. Their insights clarify some of the ways this context limits boys at the same time as it holds gender inequality in place. On an encouraging note, the boys’ overall responses to the workshops suggested that by creating spaces for open, challenging and respectful conversations about these issues, there is the potential to ignite and support change. Shifting the line: Boys talk on gender, sexism and online ethics | 3 Key points, findings and recommendations • Some of our society’s key ideas for what it means to be a man give boys and young men a narrow and limiting model for how they should be and act in the world. • Boys notice these ‘masculinity rules’ and the ways they are policed, but have few opportunities to talk about them, and few positive public models for how to sidestep narrow messages about what it means to be a man. • The restrictive norms for masculinity, which were identified by boys across diverse social backgrounds and ethnicities, included the avoidance of anything ‘feminine’ and a very limited repertoire of emotions. • Boys’ friendship groups, and the importance of peer group loyalty and belonging, were spoken about as powerful influences on behaviour, both in maintaining expected norms and in some cases in supporting departures from these norms. • The powerful role of peer group norms suggests that effective strategies to promote positive change and ethical behaviour should seek to transform collective norms and action, rather than targeting individual behavioural change. • Given the unhelpful, and in some cases dangerous, cultural baggage that traditional gender roles carry, we suggest it would be better to inspire boys and young men to be ethical people rather than ‘good men’. • Paradoxically, it could seem, a first step in this direction requires noticing how gender struc- tures the world and most people’s experiences and opportunities within it. • Some boys and young men are interested in talking about these issues – and it is possible to create spaces that build on their curiosity and their commitment to fairness and equality, allowing them to critically reflect on gender norms and develop insights and skills that enhance their readiness to contribute to positive social change. • This report provides a preliminary model and some tools that can be used and adapted for working with New Zealand boys and young men who are interested in contributing to a culture that promotes more ethical online behaviour as well as contributing to the bigger picture of gender equality and violence prevention. • Further research is needed to develop this peer group workshop-based model into a more extended and sustainable intervention, and test its longer-term impact. • Supporting even small numbers of boys and men to work together to become change agents has the potential to spark ripples of change that can shift norms of ethical behaviour among peers in the wider cultural context. 4 | Shifting the line: Boys talk on gender, sexism and online ethics Chapter 1 Introduction | 5 Chapter 1 Introduction In March 2017, hundreds of young people gathered outside Parliament to protest rape culture.2 The demonstration was sparked by a media exposé of a private Facebook group conversation, in which two Wellington College students made comments like, “if you don’t take advantage of a drunk girl, you’re not a true Wc boy” and “F*** women.