990
7. March 1990 What's shakin': More questions for Dr. Sexl Some Q&A about T&A. p. 8
othe ole Provoc gets surprised ... p.8 oEver expandingOut & About... p.9+ MSU's alternative ~teal towels at The C/ydesdale ... p. 9 oHowl atDog Boy... p. 1 O and truly o Music reviews start... p. 11 ·independent voice oParents interview... p. 12 "Velcome to the uR-1 ALL BRR edition, phaSe 11. As we stated last week, this is just one more of our unceasing efforts to satisfy you, our glorious reader. Really ~ only the Provoc doesn't rever you beautiful people! But back to the present. We finish our look at 20+ EL bars this week, from Beggar's Banquet to Zeke's. With the utmost subjectivity, one of ()ur cor respondents who frequents a gig has reviewed it based on several criteria. So check it out, and for a complete set of issues, stop by our Guns on Street offices (14a univeriSt ~ nEPOR TER-INTELLl GEN[ER P)aza). Enjoy ...
CJ
Cover: none Cover: none Entertainment: none Entertainment: no bands or Theme: classy dlnnerjoint dancing Best Night: none · Theme: MSU's sports bar Age Requirement: none Best Night: Thursday, Friday and Greek Quotient: doesn't apply Saturday are not bad, might just Location:.Abbott Road, down the seem better ·~use it's not so street from Rick's · crowded Chow: full menu Age Requirement: 19 Best Specials: none Greek Quotient: 8 Crowd: classy Location: 131 Albert, one block Dress: classy, jeans don't cut it east of Abbott Friendly Factor: low .. Chow: full menu, known for Big Diversions: pinching the waiters or - Ten sandwiches and nachos waitresses, but little else Best Specials: extremely rare; The Straight Poop: This is a ·best to go already buzzed classy joint with a great menu. The Greek Peanut Barrel;they have good Crowd: conservative crowd with decor is impeccable and comfort 1 • decent ratio of M to F on Thurs lwl. burg,trs and fries that feel good going aple, and the bar is low key. 1111111:11111 JL down with a cold draft. Pitcher prices are days. Good place this side of This is a wonderful place to bring a Cover: none reasonable and the booths are a good library to scope. Not a serious woman you want to impress and if Entertainment: tvs,juke box place to hide if you don't like sitting next to drinking crowd you want to depress your wallet. Theme: neighborhood burger bar a table of Staters enthusiastically belting Dress: Preppie in early stage of There's steak, liver pate, wine, Beat Night:weekends out the MSU fight song. night, more casual when other bar cheese, and a variety of other Age Requirement: 21 "Fight, fight, fightteam fight, etc." patrons roll in snaizy dishes. This is not, how Greek Quotient: 9 Not too bad a tune, until everyone has Friendly Factor: easy to meet ever, a place to guzzle beer, pull Location: on grand river, by greyhound sung it and• American Pie" for the fourth and across from the AZD house time. people if you know a few of the out your shirttails and tip tables and regulars. Lots of people from your chairs. As you should know by Chow: full menu But Crunchy's is a nice change from the Best Specials: bucket o' beer run-around E.L. bar scene and a good classes will show up here now, the fight song isn't sung here Crowd: fairly mellow, but with a tendency place to get the night out of the blocks. Diversions: lots of pool tables, (and especially not at top voice). to sing along with the juke.box Grab a burger and a beer. The Giggles video games, tvs and basketball But, hey, does every joint in town Dress: preppie to MSU sweatshirts and Grapevine says lunches are pretty good 1 The Straight Poop: Dooley's have to be a joint? jeans here, and in addition to lots of sorority doesn't carry much middle ground Friendly Factor: medium to high (if you girls, you can run into MSU administrators among MSU students. People have the cajones to approach folks) and DiB here every once in a blue moon. who wish Ralph Lauren was never Diversions: good juke box, tvs born might want to avoid this bar if The Straight Poop:Crunchy's is like a ~e~ :. !he _ Se~ond. Front P~ge , tor a cQ~ple'.~- ~~P.~r_t _ c~r~ 0'1J:L. e~t~bl~ _sh _fl'.le,l'.:lts :· •• ...... ";Jt':.·.!...~ rv.~.-::.. -,.:,_ ...... J.A.i~~"i-f.:'1'.· .... ' ..,, •• , ··-"-~._,J\i.. __ •• '-"':-' .. ...~ (" ~,, ... ,'J>.:.~t'...... t. v.tR• ·-..,.;./' ~-1.0 ~- 0 ·····~---· .. -~~ _)., ~~. ~ ""•·-·, ,, 2· university Reporter-Intelligencer 7 March 1990 preppies and so-called conformity . you've never partied observe the best hygene - but they bothers them. But in reality, the Best Night: any, really play the damn bestest foosball you majority of students at Dooley's are Age Requirement: 18 ever saw! · your average Joas. Dooley's is Greek Quotient: 2 {mainly curiosity This joint draws people from Lansing, always is an institution you can count seekers) East Lansing, Jupiter, Mars, etc, but on, and definitely the best place to Location: 2700 E. Michigan Ave., just beer makes everyone equal in God's visit after a big MSU win. past Frandor, on the left.towards the eyes. Oh, and the people like to meet If you're a pool shark this place is for Capitol as you pass 127 interchange people of the opposite sex. Yes, this you, but get ready to bring a lot of Chow: peanuts and stuff in vending is a place to get some, but what you quarters since the regulars aren't machine get don't always look so good the next ): ).y:.:mm~.:µn. 1v~r~iJY/. .. afraid to take your shirt right off your Best Specials: cheap pitcher specials morning. But hey, they probably feel : ' · R~P.9.J.:t~rHO.f~llig _~fu '•:•ril~f.tti1ri~ri 'tiC11tor: ::: with your buddies and drop your but if you want to play something on don't hesitate to stomp the shit out of 'il<: ·1 :~ftiji! - .9.?i9.#C:>.< .. .: : attitude at door. Have a good time. East Lansing's best juke box you anyone getting out ofline. :.:-:-:·.<·:-:- :-: -:-:.:-: -: -: . . . better be ready to wait until 3 am, So drink up and stay cool and your ...... since the early birds get the tunes. ass will probably not be waxed. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go there See you there. .. . <··=· !iii~al~l1~~1: : :1: ..:· :::·:.::::: ... expecting to see Prince Charles. This ...... is a place only real people go. J!J~~·~:)::: . : :: ::: .·. · : · :. :. And sometimes the real people don't ::::aa.r::::.:::1::::.::::::::::::::::::::::1:::::::::: ...... ·.·.·.··· ····.·. ··· ······ ···· ...... -...... :-:-:-:.:.:.:-:.: .:.:.:.:··· Cover: none Entertainment: supreme excellence .·. ·. ·.·.·,· .·.·.·.·.·,·.·.·.·.·.· . . . ·.·.· :.:-: :-".: .·.·.·.·.· .· ...·.·.·. ·.·...-.·.·.·.·.-.- . -:.:-:-:-:-:-:·:-:.:.:.:-:-:- .. in juke boxery, slide show all night, big ...... ·.· .. · .. ·. ·. ·.·.·.· .·. ·.·.· ... screen tv ...... Theme: if you haven't partied with us, Ltll~~~~~i } ......
••.•• ). ;~i;~ill! -:·:·: ·:<·:·:·:·.·:·.·:-:-: ~~~~·········
••·•• 11~11~11~r1~...... :-:-:.: -:.:.:-:-:-:-:-:-.·.-:··-:-:··-: .-.·.· .. ··· / ~~~~ir.g~~iI;~M~to liii< .. t :: :: J'°'~W~lij¢J(/Jt? .. . .. :-: -:-:-: ...... >> ...... :::: : :: :::r~~:~l-~t~ti ~~! i / ! /i ! il ! ...... · the university Reporter-Intelligencer Pa eThree
UJfinl!IJal"'o ©jgqJ: ©llcJotmCflojf "O: ~D llflfMfl(j}{M}"e: · casual, fun, go there Good burger and beer gig blue collar, good bar
®@@O(i}jf"O: ~@•"st /MJfraifj(!JJ@fl: ff'~l!Dfl~D: classy, not a place to get smashed drop· your attitude at the door, bring cash, great neighborhood bar for burgers and - and check It out beer &U0$®"3: good food, good brew, good folks 11•tmrdl3flo~: ff'oifo @'11JiJO~')f"f3: great happy hour, lotsa greeks Jotsa greeks, preppy, good happy hour &~•: good music, dancing, good happy hour lllllJ~rle &.u: /Jf/U@fkrigs tdtmrwUrt:iltm ©iltl@: unpretentious, gross fun live music, good beer prices . ©IM ©floU"r.t: . go there for Margaritavllle ©Olftl"e: . . llf};)(i} /Jf/U!YUtWll ©Mf/tiJ: good food, d~ent drink prices good drink prices, decent music, kinda dull
~§§Jfl!J@tmrlf3: ft'Yd~nro4 hov~ a sof~ and dancing, good Tuesdays \ $UDw@rr ®®00i>rr ~0©@JlliJ: · 1 re!Spon!Sible SprrUrng Break ·rock bar, metal crowd, good place to throw I back beers and hear live bands i I $1H1i>OO ff'Oi>Uil@fl: . unique, cfassy p\ace, good music
(/))$Cl ©§it!@: .bad food, bad prices, older yuppie crowd t,vi(fJ . w~nUflJY: . Mo1Mt'."l'~.1 good trivia, good jazz, good place to relax { f-fJJAU-Y · , on the patio ·
fff.J.v t ~@fk@rlf3: t ... ·t.c.k. •. get your three-piece and check it out, otherwise, deep-six this o.ne
Spring Break the In Sun Or Snow Peanut * ~~ Barrel. •Great Burgers and SHl~E THAT DULL HAIR Sandwiches 7 years as East Lansing's bes With Shades E.Q. neighborhood bar and Conditioning Hair. Gloss restaurant
Call For A m@ssago to you from MA.DD Ingham County ChaptGr David Zumberg at Mothers Against Drunk Driving 337~ l l l4 1O17 East Kalamazoo, Lansing Patrician Hair Fashion 487-MADD .309MAC
• T !° • • • • • • • 4 • university Reporter-Intelligencer _ 7 Marc - Diversions: tvs, jukebox, pool table, Friendly F'actor:- high video games, DARTS! Diversions: pool tables, video The Straight Poop: This is the place games, TV l)Creens, darts and Pop-a Shot basketball. to gp for a great burger, fries, beer The Straight Poop: Ricks is not the and.friends. The atmosphere is very place.to go if you want to "meet" mellow, and the bar's owner and someone. If you want the scope Cover: none waitresses make you feel comfortable scene, Sensations is around the Entertainment: none and important. Where else can you corner. But if you're in the mood f~r · ...... hot bands; cold beer and a great time, Theme: it's a restaurant ·.·.·.·.·.·.·-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:-:·:-:-.-:····. go in town to grab a cheap hot meal, Best Night: happy hour on friday is . grab a c:e.uple friends ~nd come down Cover: none play darts, hear great old tunes, and cool to Ricks! It has something fO!" Entertainment: jukebox, sports on tvs swish down a St. Pauli .Girl Dark with everyone. Age Requirement: none for the located around the bar a lime wedge? · For a conversation with friends, good restaurant, 21 to drink Theme~ just your neighborhood bar Nowhere, man. munchies or serious TV-sports action, Greek Quotient: 7 with great food and good ale go to the right. If you want to shoot · Best times to go here include after an pool, dance or just kick back and Location: grand river, across from the Best Night: any night is great for the · exam, with a date who isn't too · union (bar is in back, with entrance a:t listen t some of the best bands in E.L Peanut Barrel, but Sunday is a good uptight, and to start your evening off · (J.D. Lamb, Souvenir, Going Public alley) night to grab a bite, a beer, and lend an on a satisfying first step. etc ... ), go to the left and get ready for a Chow: full menu ear to the WMMQ Blues Cruise great night. Best Specials:·regularly excellent Age Requirement: none As my favorite hangout, I recommend mixE)d drink price$ Greek Quotient: 0-1 ("yuk, too many 8icks for a good time. But remember Crowd: casual preppies ... the only thin9 you'll bring home common people go there, muffy!") from this place 1s a great buzz ... or a Dress: casual · Location: on grand river, across from bruised knee from tripping up those Friendly Factor: pretty high in the bar Berkey Hall and next to kinko's stairs after too many 35-cent (m)Old Diversions: pool Chow: full bar menu Styles. The Straight Poop: long-island-ice Best Specials: the food is the best tea-loving folk comes to mind when deal here; but beers are reasonably lllll./liJ©~ fM/liJ~Oao/JiJ you think of the Olga's crowd. Happy Cover: $1 or more, depending on priced night & entertainment hour usually packs them in on Friday, Crowd: you can sit next to your Entertainment: great live jams on and Olga's is a good place to throw professor, a guy in a softball uniform, left side · down a solid meal and have a few and a marine lieutenant from the Theme: casual, underground-· tasty drinks. drinking joint recruiting office down the.street and Best Night: Thursday-Saturday, This is not a place to get screwed up enjoy a casual beer. great live bands all night. Dress: come as you are - unless you . Age Requirement: 21 It is, however, a nice change from the go by r. lauren Greek Quotient: 4-5 usual elbow-to-jaw East_Lansing bar Friendly Factor: extremely friendly Location: on Abbott Road between scene. Espresso Royale and P.T's - folks, but you're not goirig to get any, Chow: Munchies from Mancinos, . here · subs & appetizers · Best Specials: 35-cent drafts Wednesday night Crowd: casual, fur:i people who enjoy listening to tunes; a few brave ones show their stuff on the "huge?" dance floor. Dress: anything goes
To learn more about the role ofa IT'S NOT JUST A BAR .... FrFe Press and how it protect.~ _vour rights. call the First Amendmenr IT'S AN ADVENTURE! Center al 1-800-542-1600 Wednesday Special: and Ier $'1 .25 Pitchers recnpeacc. said their research had ,, . Hthepre~ Also, Do Not Forget Thursday: didn't tell us, Ladie's Night- 50¢ Drinks ' . whowould? Sunday-Tuesday-99¢ Pitchers ' I ·"'II 2700 E. Michigan • 484-6795 A. public sen Kc R'K'ssage of The Ad Council ind The' Soc1et~ ol Prokssionat Journal1-.1~ ~ .------·- ··- · -·~ -- ·- ·- - -- '·--·- ·-.- ·-.- ·-. - · Hou-rs=·~-:---"· .___ --·1 ltl\lli
Complete hair care Mon. & Fri 9-7 and nail services Tue., Wed., Thur. 9-9 . " Sat-. 9-5 . ************************* ·.·.·. ·.·.·.·.·.·.·.·. I I $10.00 Off Acrylic Nails ************************* .the [@@IB efltair crJo. > : :: :ffiiiidftff$.~ ? ? J $7 .00 Off Perm, Color, Relaxer {Reg. $41 up) I' L;·..,... · ;;,;;;;;;,;;;;;;,;;;;;;,;;;;;;,;;;;;;,;;;;;;,;;;;;;,;;;;~~ ...... -- J 3040 Lake Lansing Rd . *************************· ·l East Lansing, Ml 48823 ~7277 -$2.00 Off Any Student Haircut (Reg $10) - J in Carriage Hills V/TTY _• . _J L. --··- ·· -.~- . -: - -- - _ ___ . ___, . ----, -··---: ~ ,.--. ~ r--- \,___.,.~:' -...... -.. -. ...- . -. .. :· ~-- 7 March 1990 ~ university Reporter-Intelligencer· 5 heading there on a lhursday night or dull weekend. ·:::mfi·e::::.:::::.::.:::::::::::::::::::::: I guess the great mixed drink pitcher .·.·.;.·.· ... :- .-..... ·.·.·.·· ...... deal on Thursday draws me there, or H!l li ! ll! ! ~ il_- : .:: ·. .. maybe it's the fact that I always run _._._::!!!!-i!!ii!•ra:::::::::: :•• into friends there. Or maybe it's the. fact that Top Dog is just out back, or . :?1~11:~:~::::::1111/:::: maybe it's the f~ct that Pinball Pete's Cover: $3, more if bands are playing is just below the joint? Then again, it :::::mate::::::· __ ·· .. Entertainment: MSU's main dancery ...... could be that there's no cover and ::::1a.10.0.0.::::::::::::::: _ -:.:-:-:.:.:-: -:-:-:-:-:-:-: ...... :-:-:.:-:-:.:.:-: -:-:-:-·.· ...... ::::::::::::::::::::::::>: Rick's has gone to the dogs. Theme: flashy disco scene Cover: none Whatever the reason, I always end up Best Night: Thursday night, Tuesday Cover: varies, depending on the band Entertainment: none at The Riv complaining about how with great specials Entertainment: live music Theme: casual, place to sit and drink bored I am and drinking another Age Requirement: 19 Theme: metal and talk · itcher. · Greek Quotient: 3-5 Best Night: any night a band is Best Night: Thursday rwish I could figure out what spell this Age Requirement: 1 8 place casts over me ... Location: 131 Albert, below Dooley's playing Greek Quotient: 4-5 Chow: full menu Age Requirement: 18 Location: on corner of Albert and Best Specials: Tuesday night 25¢ Greek Quotient: minus 10 MAC beers Location: E. Michigan Ave., near Chow: full menu Crowd: younger folks Brody . Best Specials: pitchers of mixed drinks for just over $5 · Dress: GO Chow:limited menu · Crowd: casual, usually Friendly Factor: extremely high, just Best Specials: drink specials nightly upperclassmen tired of the bar scene walk in the door and hit the floor Crowd: metalheads, but cool Dress: casual Diversions: a few video games, tvs, Dress: jeans and t-shirts - guys; Friendly Factor: a good place to large screen tvs scanty - gals meet friends, but not a hook-up joint Diversions: pool tables, video The Straight Poop: Known as a Friendly Factor: medium, but don't games, TV screens, basketball "Meet Market,· where you go if you dress preppy unless you've got a The Straight Poop: The· Riv is not don't want to wake up alone. This death wish·. the most exciting place on the face of tl~A perception isn't changed after you visit Diversions: tvs, bands, chicks, pool, the earth. In fact, it's downright the bathroom to see the interesting . danCing Yes, stagnation is the thing at the Riv, but somehow I always find myself graffitti on the walls. ·The best part of The Straight Poop: This place is Sensation's is the dance floor, which straight out <;>f the seventies, complete can accommodate hundreds of with carpeting on the ceilings and dancers at once. For the serious walls. Shooter's Pub has some good dancer, Sensation's is the only place specials, and bands from all over the For Reservations Call The near campus where you can go and country come here to grind their axes. HOT TIJB .HOT LINE consistently get down. The 25¢ drink From Steppenwolk to Bachman 332-6318 special~on Tuesday are key - go Turner Overdrive to Diving for Pearls (Located corner of Grove & Linden, near with a group of friends and you're and other up-and-coming bands. Dooley's) guaranteed a great time. Going by This is definitely not your typical EL yourself in search of a warm body . bar crowd, as folks from all over mid r------,I $2.00 Off · I often results in a case of "Frustra Michigan head for a loud time and lots I Your Next Hot Tub,Rental tions.· Since it's the only major dance of drink. The folks in Jackson lan 1 club in the area, the DJs continue to guish as they sit green with envy ov~r I (with Coupon) I play Top 40-12-inch dance selections. the success of the Sleasy D. I Exp. April 1, 1990 I Improvements would include diversify And don't forget the crowd. Without a Limit One Discount Per Visit .J _ing to play House and Rap and more doubt heavy, metal-wise that is, but Fri.& Sat., Mar. 9&10: L progressive genres that would attract there's nuthin like a bunch of met ------Gre
WITH ... 332-6006 • 213 Ann Street, East Lansing, MI ··------·: One Free Litre : . 101 E. Grand River Ave. Think : . of Pop . . : Home of The Coffee I W / This Coupon • Exp. 3/28/90 · .1
Shark Bowl! Opn until l\tlda" ?Z6 ABBOTI nor Beapr'1 ·------· ~- . .. \ \, -
•
'll'aearlay 'll'i.ararlay Sararlaya free cover, 50e drafts Beat the Oock Night -Catt Liquor Night Bar Cocktails and Drafts 25(: 9-10 . 45(: 9-11 . Werlraearlay 50(: 10-11 Ladies Night 75(: 11-12 The Silver Dollar Saloon and Free Cover for ladies Shooter's Pub is located between 35( cocktails for JFriiaya ••rlSa~riajo · Frandor and MSU's campus everyone til 11 75t cocktails: 8-10:30 Infor11Jation recording: 351-2450 7 March 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer· 7 lfil n~J ' unn Cover: none Entertainment: giant screen tv · .._, . Theme: upper class, businessman's .. joint I~ CID IJ (ID l Best Night: none Age Requirement: 21 Greek Quotient: 2 Man11y Dot-To-Dot! Location: University Place Holiday Can ·yo.u connect all Inn Chow: appetizers the dots in Manny's Best Specials: buffalo wings Crowd: business folk, older dudes face to reveal with cash Dress,: three-piece anpther image of Friendly Factor: neglible Diversions: tv him? Go ahead, try The Straight Poop: Do you like to I'ti . pay a high price for drinks? Th.en Zeke's is your place. They feature no drink specials, but the entertainment, Meet the Tiffer 1-- that's what draws them in! *MORON Nope, no eritertainment. CROSSWF.RD But wait, there are food speicals .. PUUZLE* during happy hour. Specials like 12 buffalo wings for $3.25, some special. The best thing about this bar is the giant screen tv, so you can see every down bead of sweat on Steve Smith's head. l. c ooked The tv allows Zeke's to be a very lame 2. f ood that qets fascimile of a sports bar. The crowd cooked at this place consists of no students, If you've ever wondered who's just out of town business people who akro SS responsible for this mess, now's are away from their spouses for the 1. m ore than one your chance to yell at her. night. This is definitely not a people quv named after uR-1 editor Tiff Big Dog .will take meeting place - unless you are old . s omething that enough to run for president, or take your ravings from 10 am to 10:04 gets cooke_d cash for services rendered. am, 1 pm to 1 :03 pm, and from 6:02 hin t: it's backward There is one positive thing, though. If pm to 6:08 pm. She will find 2. nickname . of no. 1 you don't mind paying for it, their beer someone who can answer your akross questions about the paper, since · selection is extensive. In fact, if you hint: it's not don't mind paying for it the clientele she doesni really know what the backward isn't so bad either. But back to the hell is going on here. beer. Zeke's features over a dozen Reach her at: 1-800-YEA-SURE, or THIS WEEK's CLO: Dinty Moore Beef domestics, as well as brews from the locally at 2YO-MAMA. West Indies, the Far East, Holland, uR-1 editors will also be available by and Ireland. This is a decent place to phone all week, but they can only ·····~~~r~~···~~~s·!p~·········· receive one call a day and no s~~en~ s: et pa00~s :pt :sAaMs ue come and talk, because It's so quiet ...... ~~ ...... you can hear every word spoken. visitors, except for Thursday, and then only if they've behaved the rest of the week.
Well, Mammie, er, ah, Ronnie, your inability to remember what transpired during your tenure in the Oval Office has earned you Geek o' the Week dishonors - remember what that means? Regardless, It Is certain your eight years at the helm of the USA Titanic could've earned you this dubious honor, but we weren't hare to keep tabs on you then. But your videotaped testimony, aye, there's the rub - to be making and forgetting history all at once! . · A bon accompli, Ronni! . Maybe your place In history ·Isn't all locked up (and· maybe you should be). Maybe It .isn't in the stars. Oh, by the way, we liked you with the brillo 'do better. Glddyup••• or la it ahuddup? -1 who think se·x is an easy way to get to rage which was aimed at this peson ' Dear Doc: know someone., There is ample and directed it at yourself. That is why I could make it with any woman on evidence in the psychological litera the anger seemed to go away. It this campus, i'n fact, I have made it, ture that men are more romantic than didn't, it got turned into a sexual but I am still lonely. women even though women have fantasy of what she is doing with her - Peter Potter been though to be the "weaker" sex boyfriend. You are torturing yourself for at least the past millenium .. with .these thoughts because you can't Dear Pot: Weaker than what? Women handle get at'her. Are you bragging or complaining? relationships much better than men. Thoughts or feelings can't be They generally outlive us too, and I controlled any more than you can Dear Doctor Barclay: Dr.Andrew can tell you that nature would never control the weather. To begin the My boyfriend has a name for his stick weak people with having babies healing process you are going to have penis. He calls it Randolph and refers ·. Barclay because evolutionarily, it is too risky. to express your anger and frustration. to himself in the third person. Isn't this So watch it men! Rip up your pictures of her and burn weird?? 1 What happens is that we -become them as you chant: "Burn bitch, burn.9 - Trish Illllli iil,i ; i ii 1'i,i!!il i i~iiililii!!iiiil attachd to the woman we are with, When no one else is around, use your especially if we see them as sex pillow as an object on which to project objects. By attached, I mean we are violent feelings. Punch it while saying Dear Trish: Inquiring easily conditioned to attaching positive her name, pound it, wrap your hands A lot of men have names for their feelings of the relationship, the around it and strangle it. Scream and primary sex organs because they say 11'.linds probe arousal, the joy~ the excitement to the yell how you hate her, how you would their D.ick has a mind of his own. I person acting as our object. In a like to kill her. Ain't love grand? know what they mean. Our uncon sense, we become mentally addicted . After you have squeezed out all scious desires, particularly sexual dr. sex to that person and, when they are no these feelings like the white junk in a desires, can dominate conscious Dear Dr. Sex: longer bonded to us, we go through a giant zit, go out and h,ave a good time. forms of control leading to behavior I had been dating a woman for the withdrawal as profound as when we Concentrate on the here and now. we may not understand or even be past six months. I thought we were quit using an addictive drug "cold Focus on your work, having fun with able to control. I refer to this as a pretty good friends, at least until I turkey." your friends,·or whatever is going on case of testosterone poisoning called one evening and her roommate Your experience on the street right at the moment but keep in mind because it is the male hormore which told me she had gone back to dating shows conditioning at work. Here, an how good you feel to be free of all that sensitises the head of the penis or her old boyfriend. First of all, I was object with a vague resemblance to shit. As your self-esteem returns to clitoris. When you meet a guy at the crushed and then I got angry. Now the conditioned stimulus sets off the normal (because you have takeri a bar, don't just ask for an introduction, that the anger is gone, I really miss response associated with the missing powerful blow}, you will be able to look down at his lap and say 'Who's her, I dream of her, my heart races jf I love-object. It will take a while before increase the length of the moment you your friend?" see someone who looks like her on the response settl~ down and begins are focusing on, first to five minutes, As a class exercise in the Psy the street, in short, my life is miser to show signs of extinguishing. One then ten, then an hour, and ultimately, chology of Human Sexuality, we . able. I thought I was tougher than day, many years from now, I predict a day or a week. would have the men introduce their that. I thought women were the you wilrbe in a crowd behind a Keep in mind what a complex and "friends.· Only one woman in the romantic sex. Worst of all, the thought woman who is wearing the same interesting person you are and the eight yeras I did this had named her of her in bed with her old boyfriend is perfume as your former lover and feelings will pass like a grey winter sex organ - she called her vagina driving me nuts. How can I control BANG! You will go through the whole week in Michigan. The sun will come· "Fonda" - and when I asked was that these unwanted thoughts and feel- emotional trip all over again. This Isn't out again, the sky will be blue, and the her whole name, she said "Nope. She ' lngs? Help! love, though, it is attachment plain and birds will sing. Then you can do it all is Fonda Peters." _:_ Rick the Reject simple, no different than what Pavlov over again but this next time, avoid did with his doggie subjects. addiction altogether by not using Dear Rej: What makes you human and another person as your object, share Let this be a lesson to all the guys interesting is how you have taken your the relationship equally. fJ!Y~.J:.t~~~ .... ~n 't bl!!l~~!.Jl'J!.. tyke At least that's what my older brother, Syd, says. Speaking of oily crap (like mom's sausage), isn't it lovely how Exxon has struck again I And while we're talking about Pink Floyd, (blind) Pigs This time it was New Jersey. on the Wing come to mind .. Ahem ... · Apparently ELPD has a new campaign out: u Just Say It's not like there isn't enough toxic crap and pollut Yes" to more police, and the (not-so high) rollers were all ants (the Nets and Bon Homely notwithstanding) to allow over t~e news last week ranting and raving about how us all to walk on the water in the Garden State without crime statistics are up this year in beautiful metropolitan the Exxon's help, but the day after they were indicted on EL and how they don't have enough officers to control the multiple counts of negligence for the Alaska fiasco, the rising incidence of crime. Provocateur losers dumped 25,000 gallons of crude into the already What wasn't mentioned in the pitch for higher taxes gunk-filled waters of N.J. I'm starting to think that there .(and·hence higher student rents) to pay for these new · was some design flaw in the Exxon vessels - like where officers was that the statistics are subject to some very did they find room to put a bar in each one??? irrportant influences. The most likely reason that these crime rates are up is not because there are more folks David Scott was a hero to most - wait a minute, Don't you hate it when whiney old men get in trouble? puking and peeing their way down Albert Street, but we've used that one ... Don't you hate it when bosses overreact? beqausetheir officers are not taking as may doughnut - But what do you snot jugglers know anyway? Don't you hate the way people grouse about the breaks. Yes, it's I, the ole Provoc, ruler of the three-foot high smallest things for five minutes every week? Hell, I just got nailed for riding my bike in the street universe and a bad ass in my own right. And just Well then, why are you reading this, you who-chokes last week. · because you will be getting away from me for Spring on-the-hair balls-of-others? But, as one officer was quoted: "Statistics, as you Break, don't forget that I'll be back to dish out more of my know, are subject to fluctuations, and you probably should · peculiar brand of scorn next term. What's with this "all-bar crap" anyway? not put too much Weight in these; they may be higher due By the way, anyone need an extra stud to accom Last bars I saw were in front of my playpen. to our greater enforcement efforts.• pany them to Ft. Lauderdale ... Did puke in there oncest or twicest, though, so I can Tell that to your commander. relate ... Let's hope the city council isn't like the board of Nothing like a nice greasy pork sandwich in a dirty trustees, and they let people have some say before they ash try, right? Speaking of relating and relatives and all things being make a decision. Well, just wait until you get home and realize the folks such, I like the way Fill ~My Wallets, If You Would, Mate• aren't such a great stable of chefs after all. Collins ripped off Pink Floyd on his latest "effort.• And nowthat I've had my say, hit the beaches. But my mom isl Some effbrt, too, er, but, it's incredible how "Wish it And that laugh'you hear when you're shaking the Yessit,and nowthat I've saved mybairlessposterior, Would Rain" sounds like "Wish You Were Here.• sand out of your undies just might be the ole Provoc... 7 March 1990 university Reporter-Intelligencer· 9
- I 2: Mass Confusion 13: Turning Minnows into Whales ..A East Lansing 14: Water for the Pool Rlverwallc Theatre s·iar I 0 March: Be a Star The Arie . 7 March: the Best of our Ope'n Stages 7 March: The Generals and The Front Sliver Dollar Saloon 1'4: Inside Out and The Blunt Objects 8: Spaelimenninir 7- / 0. March: Fire Department 9: The R..F.D. Boys BoarsHead' Theater I 0: Mick Maloney, Jimmy Kean, and Eugene 8-31. March: Painting Churches ·wharton Center . · O'Donnell 7 March: MSU Glee Club- Great Hall I I: The Chenille Sisters Childeren's shows The Green Ooo·r MSU Jazz Band II evening: Heather Bishop MSU Concert Band Wed-Saturday: Toys 8: 13: Laura Nyro The Don Cossacks Singers and f)ancers of Sunday: Uptown Band 9: the U.S .S.R. . . · Monday: Blue Avenue Delegate·s Club Heidelberg I I: MSU School o.f Music Honors Concert Tuesday: Capitol City Blues Band 7 March: Guilt Parade with Forced Anger I 3: The Detroit Symphony Orchestra Salute I 0: Laughing Hyenas with Scrawl to Michigan Concert Kresge Art Museum Michigan Theatre now - 31 March: Andy Warhol: Fifteen Min I 0 March: Laurie Anderson: Strange Angels utes of Fame Nectarine . Ballroom l.andshartc 7 March: Genie and the Dreams 9- IO March: Souvenir 13: Dan Earl Power Center I 2-1 6 March: American Contemporary t.anslng Art Gallery Dance Festival now - / 8 March: Beth Van Liere ·
t.tghtfantastlc G(Jlle-ry including the Booger Pick and Roll now - 23 March: Dean Dab/ow competition '(at undisclosed loca Rlr:tc•s tions throughout the undergraduate 7 March: Taj library), there's lots more to do in 8: Freeman and the Chasers ,4,4. _,/ 9- 10: I-Tai I I: Dan Earl The Clydesdale by JONT
t'f. 8/MRSHf11) SRVS IT!S TI£ I'1111Klff' I SfCOllD TI~ THIS lJl'GLER I. TODRY THE KID THOW;lif I.IC UIS · HAS fAINTED. '1~
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. . : • :. : • j. •. I , : • .! • 1, ~ ' '. ~ . ~ '·_ i • "- : OUT.and ABOUT ·················••@@@@@@· l.atln .Quarter Pullum's Plar:e . TRQIT . I 6 March: The Jesus and 9 March: Uni_versal Spectrum · Mary Chain I 6: Devon I rte DE . . . I.Ill's . The River Rock Cafe 9-10 March: frank Allison and the Odd 8 March: The Larry McCray Band Baker's Keyboard t.ounge 15: Souvenir · 9- f O March: Rick Mprgif'za Quartet Sox . t 6- / 7: Straight Aheead with Marion The Ritz Hayden · The Majestic 9 March: De Dannan 8 March: Joe Walsh Clutch Cargo's . (St. Andy's) I 0: Peter Case 9: Seduce with Murder City I 0: Ace Frehtey ~arch: Before or After with Synsynoi, ·: I 5: The Bone Daddys with the Wayouts 9 . I I: The Smithereens . Braille Radio Moby Dick's I 0: Drama Rama with Picasso Tr:igger Taboo _I 6: Tangent Image . 9 March: Juanita McCray and her Motor City Beat · IS March: DJ Jazzy Jeff and the fresh Prince with Technotronic DIA IO: Rhythm Kings nOw-March I I: Pierre DuBoyte tnaster The .J~D Club prints Paychec .k's 8 March: Leather Gypsies with special 8 March: The Orange Roughies with the The Idiots Fox Theater guests .. I 5: Missionary Stew with W atk the· 8- 1 I March: Jerry Lewis . .. I 0: The Trash Brats with B.W.S. and Cranford Nix Dogma
I GUiS5 HAVING A MEART TAANSPLANTIS A PRliTTV 816 OS:AL, ISPECIALLV WMEN TMEV U~E 4 /JOG MRART, 8UT' Gaa ... 1 WAS F&8LING GA&AT IN NO TIMI! ... .. :::::::::::::::::::::
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1111 ___,____.,.. 7 March 1990 , university Reporter-Intelligencer .11 Reviews Compilation disc a must-have
... . Dope, Guns, and Fuck will be good or bad for the m.usic-biz is yet to be seen, but it bodes well. ~ ing in the Streets (vol.1-3) · TAR, Helios Creed, The Cows, and (Flint's) God Bullies are the only Simply stated, this is one of the bands of stature (not quite fame, just best compilations of American bands yet) form Amphetamine Reptile that since SST's The Blasting Concept, ..,~i; · appear here, on their (A.R.'s.) own ··,««"4.#i volume 2, which included Husker Du, compilation. T AR's showing on the · ·· ·~%"$'} The Meat Puppets, The Minutemen, tune "Antlers" is impressive but only Black Flag, Scratch Acid, Painted adds to the mounting rumors of a label Willie, and Gone In fact, Dope, switch for them-to. Touch and Go Guns... is verlj reminicent of "The (who boast Laughing Hyenas, Blasting Concept," at least in the his Killdozer, B-H Surfers, and torical sense. numerous Big Black offspring) or the When SST released their f;iampler aforementioned SUB-POP. Helios ...,, .. ~ (in 1986), they were at the top of the Creed (formerly one-half of the band "~...... independent label logjam, way ahead Chrome) just turns your ears - not to of the pack. Now in 1990, labels like mention your mind - inside-outwith SST and Enigma come close to being his warpeder-than-thou guitar advqri- · considered majors, while SUB-POP tures: But, the God Bullies, all the and Amphetamine Reptile are slowly rage in some small circles of anti-pop taking over the indie ranks. This enthusiasts, are nothing more than an compilation features performers from early seventies Iggy poser, gyratting both SUB-POP and A.A labels, and screaming to a band that sounds including a few of the hottest bands like The Damned covering Cramps around - independent or major label. songs, or maybe it's the other way SUB-POP bands, Mudhoney, around, I'm not sure. But, really, to Tad, and The Lonely Moans, com give them credit, there is a certain prise an important part of this vital vulgar novelity to their act, which even disc. Right now, they are the sound of live held my attention for a good five, underground America. The slimy six minutes (or however long their dirge of their music added to the soundcheck was), brutality (sometimes almost too All dime store analyzing aside, graphically); the. realistic lyrics make Dope, Guns... is an important disk for an irresistable combo. This Seattle the nineties. All the bands here sound is slowly infiltrating all facets of dominate the. underground scene and cutting edge music. With the success deserve a listen. Even t.he lesser of Sound,garden, Green River known bands (check-out the U-Men, (R.1.P.), Mother Love Bone, Nirvana, Halo of Flies, and King Snake and even Ann Arbor's Big Chief, Roost), add a little more detail the oodles and oodles of new bands have picture of an America that is obsessed Eat Cheap adopted the same musical and with Dope, Guns and Fucking ifJ the All U Can Eat Coneys Don't Be A Top 40 Geek. societal stance. Whether this sin Streets. $1.99.Tuesdays noon-9 Shop At Too Hot Records! cere, almost reverent form of flattery -JEFF FIKE i i'u;-0n: ;d "G'c;": s;:d ~;F; 1 1 Free 1 : Chili Cheese Fries : ~t. 0 ; I Sunday...._ - 3-9p.m. I L ____with couoon. _____ Dine-in only. _.J uR-1.. WE DELIVER 332-2381 ~- or is it We .Wednesday Only: i,O~o't-i l 0% Student Discount •••••••••••••••••••• Am-You? . \1 Your Twelve-Inch Specialists In Acid House, Imports, Hell with it and and Alternative Music. Coming Soon: Depeche Mode keep reading Lower Level Campus Town Mall Entertainment , 1• e!!!~!!lS disciplin~ Ea~t Lansing uR-I music correspondent feel more like a woman. whats now The Parents? a mentality we grew up with, living · JS: So, you're a woman Fred: Mutate? What does in small towns like me and Tommy The Parents are a new trapped in a man's body? that mean? did. wart on the nose of the East Chris: I'm a man who wants Adam: They all bought me a Fred: Small, racist towns. Lansing music scene. to be a woman who wants to be a beer. Chris: You seriously do see Loud, crude, obnoxious, and man. Chris: Tommy had quit Jusy an attitude where, "Yeah, rape a quite charming, too, the band is a \ JS: Would you say that you Say No, and he and Fred wanted girl, steal a car," to be crude ... conglomeration of personnel from had a "band philosophy?" to form a band. And Adam and I Tommy: All in a nighfs work. other area groups, but they aren't Fred: Other than · weren't basically doing anything. JS: What song is that in? a clone of the standard basement manhood? (laughs) Tommy: And I work with Chris: "Sweet Little Girl~" fare to be found throughout EL. JS: What's your angle, youc Dave. I was drunk one night, and JS: Anyway, who do you Despite technical difficulties, gimmick? . asked him to play bass. like? What do you· draw from? Chris, Tommy, Fred, Dave Tommy: There is no Dave: And I say, "oh yes, Tommy: AC/DC. (many and Adam played loudly and gimmick, just a thousand little Tommy." ~eah's!) quite coherently last Saturday gimmicks. We just want to put on a Tommy: We all knew each Chris: Adam and the. night, crammed into a basement good show. oth~r. and just got together. Ants. with what seemed to be Chris: We just want to have Chris: And then we got Ada-m: You can hear a lot of unfortuantely, the entirety of East fun, and play in front of a lot of Tony, last week. · that, can't you? Lansing High. Well, it wasn't all people. This band·is going JS: Whars your gimll)ick with Chris: If we had the time, we youngsters that came out to see nowhere, has no future. Tony? would look and sound just like the Parents along with Just Say Adam: And we like itthat Band: IT'S NOT A Adam and the Ants. I personally No and The Need . . Despite the way. GIMMICK!! want to be at the forefront of the frigid evening, the place was JS: Tell me what you've all JS: Sorry. new, New Romantic movement.. packed with a crowd that seemed been involved in, musically. Chris: Tony is there to make. Tommy: We draw from to enjoy the debut performance of Chris: (laughs) Jesus, thars sure everything runs smoothly. anyone who has any balls. a band that will be sure to make a lot JS: So, is he your one-man Chris: It's too wide. We their presence known in the Adam: I was in Not, The security force? could go on for days . . months to come. Deans, and Pinwheel. Chris: NO! Tony's 'the fixer. Tommy: We do a . Chris: Back in high school, I He's Mr. Fixit. Runaways cover - thafs an atl JS: What makes you better · was in a band and then Tom and I Adam: He fixes things. girl band. than all the bands currently were in Killer Orifice, a rap band. JS: Tell me about this Chris: And, I sing a song saturating the East Lansing area? JS: A rap band? misogynist thing I've heard about. from a woman's point of view! Just Tommy & Chris: We've got Chris: Yeah, then-I was in Chris: Oh, thafs an like Cheri Currie did. balls and no one else does. Ten-Minute Hate, which was a unfortunate misnomer thafs been JS: All .right. So, are any of Fred: We're the only band. performance art type thing. placed upon us. you personally involved? Or is that JS: So what's with the ni.Jn's Tommy: I was in every Tommy: We love women. just a ploy to create interest in the habit? band Chris was in, plus Disinfect, We love all women - short, tall, band? Tommy: He's had a nun Acid Sex Death Kick, and Just fat, small, retarded, dead, dying, Chris: We're all kind of habit for a long time. Say No. lying in the gutter. We love 'em all. involved. Chris: I went to a Catholic JS: What about you, Fred. Dave: Thafs got to be a Tommy: We're all friends. elementary school , and we had · Adam: I was In Wally quote. Ch_ris: We're very Close.· nuns for teachers. In fourth grade, Pleasant, too... Chris: It is, but we're not Fred: But we're not gay. ·I stayed after school one day to JS: You were not! going to tell you who ifs from. Tommy: We share women. clean the erasers ... · Adam: Yeah, for about six These two (Fred and Tommy) JS: So, if you had to make a Tommy: Lefs just say she weeks. have written all the lyrics. So I statement about what being in this cleaned his eraser. Fred: I was in Strictly really don't have much to do with it. band is going to do, what would it Chris: Yeah, lefs just say Taboo, and then Head Cleaner~ · Adam: Very tongue in cheek. be? that. As a souvenir, she gave me Then I was in Lemmings for Chris: Thafs unfortunate, (band laughs, and looks at this habit. You know, they have about two weeks, with John because I've gotten all the ha.sSle. me mockingly) like 20 different ones. Howard, who quit afterwards to JS: Well, you're. the one who Chris: Absolutely nothing. JS: So what you're saying is, join a pussy dance band. has imparted all this woman-hating Dave: A little beer in our that you and the sister were JS: Oh, yeah:. stuff! bellies. involved? Fred: Thafs a quote. A (band laughs) · Tommy: If people want to Chris: For one glorious pussy dance band with Jim Chris: All we're doing is ·think about something, thafs fine, afternoon, yes. It's a souvenir of Stone, a big fool. either commenting on things we too. my awakening, into the world of Chris: Yeah, Jim Stone, the see, or we're talking ... We're not . .And so concluded 111Y manhood, which is basically what biggest pussy in the state of justifying or saying we believe in interview with the Parents. They this band is about You can see Michigan, next to Barry Henssler. -this. may go far, or only a short way. why ifs appropriate for me to wear (singer for Big Chief) JS: So, what does "rape a However, they'll probably have a a nun's habit-on stage. JS: Let's stick tci'the girl, steal a car," mean? What is good time going, whatever the JS: Sure, anyway ... questions: What prompted you all that a comment on? distance. Chris: Plus, it makes me to get together and mutate into Chris: Thafs a comment on Have you read the Provoc today? ... or written a question to_dr. s~x? ... th~n get with the program, sam!