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Issue 947 - Weekly Thursday November 5 1998 500+ Stand up for their rights UN condemn charter and events from our Union site. Being the only Uni who’d done that, several other Unions in the country put links Iraqi “Flagrant from their page to ours. Thanks to all those who worked so hard to get the pages looking so spangley.

The book from Surrey will be Violation” presented to our local MP at a The new Student Rights national lobby on November Charter was launched nation- 11th. If anyone’s interested in wide last Friday. The Charter coming along, we could organ- Once again Iraq has suspended co-operation with the The new resolution, currently being drafted by the British is an NUS drive to draw atten- ise a minibus to take people to United Nations Weapons Inspectors. The failure of the and due for completion on Thursday following late night tion to the many difficulties the Houses of Parliament for UN to lift sanctions imposed on Iraq following the inva- UN negotiations is set to condemn non compliance as a students often face during ter- the day. With many Unions sion of Kuwait in 1990 is again cited as the reason for this ``flagrant violation'' tiary education. It focuses on supporting the charter, and now all to familiar stand off. In February this year, an ear- issues such as Tuition Fees, some good publicity, the press- lier stand-off came close to initiating US and British mil- The resolution would call for the immediate resumption decent, affordable accommo- ing issues surrounding student itary strikes against Iraq. The UN Security Council recent- of co-operation with UNSCOM (UN special commis- dation, child-care provision, life and hardship will be high- ly promised to review Iraq's co-operation with the inspec- sion). UNSCOM would then be able to carry on monitor- the right to appeal against lighted and the government tion teams, known collectively as USCOM. However they ing the scrapping of declared nuclear weapon sites. unfair decisions relating to will have to take notice. Fees gave no indication of when sanctions against Iraq might British Secretary of Defence, George Robertson, said academic study and the huge may now be a reality, but let’s be lifted. This has angered the Iraqi leaders who say that "Saddam Hussein is a danger to his neighbours and there- problem of student hardship. not forget that Tuition Fees are sanctions are crippling their economy. The Council is fore a danger to the rest of the world. That is a message Last Friday showed just how only part of the story. Even if united in its condemnation of this latest Iraqi act of defi- that united the world earlier this year. If he is now going many students DO care what you collected your entire ance, however in a repeat of events earlier this year there to yet again defy world opinion then he must face the con- happens to them at University. financial entitlement, it still is conflict as to the best way to solve the crisis. Once sequences” wouldn’t be enough to live on again the United States and Britain have threatened to use Almost every Union in the - genuine hardship is a fright- force while China and Russia have both urged non con- country put on some kind of ening reality for many students frontational solutions. Russia, owed billions of dollars by event to launch the charter. across the country. Iraq, is openly in favour of an early lifting of sanctions Some Unions had students sit- while China has urged constraint from all parties. ting in baths full of baked Thank you to everyone who beans or handing over plastic signed up - we collected over The Security Council is currently wording a resolution cheques to vice-chancellors 500 names in one day which condemning Iraq, without using threatening language or and principles. Here at Surrey, kind of wipes out this notion in fact stating that Iraq has violated UN resolutions. This we decided to be a little more of apathy running through denies the US and UK a virtual green light for military civilised and stick to what we the Union at the moment. I action. This is in an effort to minimise an escalation of know best. From 10.00 a.m. always knew you cared. Due tension inevitably caused by a threat of force. until 7.00 p.m., the Union to popularity, we’ll be reception was covered with extending the times when The wording of the resolution is proving difficult, with all bright red and yellow posters you can sign up to the char- five permanent members of the Security Council (US, UK and flyers, advertising the ter if you didn’t have a Russia, France and China) empowered to use their veto launch of the charter. The chance on Friday. The book over any contentious points. reception was manned will be at the main Union throughout the day and stu- reception during the day for Other leading figures have been quick to promote their dents were encouraged to sign you to sign and pick up some opinions. The new German Foreign Minister stated that up to the charter and pledge information about the char- the situation should not become centred on the possible their support. ter. See Cathy between 9 use of force but instead on the total compliance of the a.m. and 5 p.m. and show Iraqi Government while King Fahd announced that he Surrey also caught the world your support from Surrey for will not let Saudi Arabia be used as a “springboard for wide web limelight with our this important initiative. attacks on Iraq” web page, giving details of the Saddam Hussein pictured last year TODAY- STUDENT COUNCIL - 18.00 - Main Union Followed by The Big Bang Fireworks Party News 2 n Features 3 n Music 5 n Entertainments Guide 7 . Ents 8 n Notices & Personals 9 n Reviews 10 n Surrey Pride 11 ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 2 (1,1)

2 News Thursday November 5 1998 Editorial News in Brief

International Disco, Comedian Middle East Peace Delayed But Diplomatic Relations Still Good Steve Best at his best, a fantas- tic Grease ‘Outrage’ night, a While the troubles between Israelis and Palestinians civil- where Jews wish to build homes,. In Ras-al-Ahmud for busy Toniq and a traditional ians continue in the West Bank, the countries respective example. Muslims vastly out-number Jews. The Israelis drunken meat market on the governments appear to be co-operating more than ever. want to erect a fence around their houses. Arabs chained Friday. Well the Union is back Yasser Arafat leader, of the Palestinians has given the his themselves to the settlers bulldozers to prevent the action. doing what it does best: counterpart the time needed to convince the Israeli cabi- They were joined by Israeli pacifists. Partying. the weather may be net and parliament to ratify the latest peace agreement. miserable, the exams may be Binyamin Netanyahu the Israeli Prime Minister called Palestinians want Israel to give up more land to their round the corner but why Arafat to explain what he called a technical delay. Both newly created country. Israel however must convince it’s choose that when you could leaders remain committed to the peace process, despite a citizens that this is the right thing to do, and reassure them choose from the above. recent attack on a Jewish school bus. that their security will not be sacrificed. To aid this the Palestinians are expected to act against anti Jewish terror- A suicide bomber drove his explosive laden car at the bus. ists. In fact the leader of Hamas, the group responsible to Which begs the question as to why I have been virtually tee- The car was intercepted by the bus’s army escort vehicle. the recent car attack has been put under house arrest this total all week (as far a I can remember). Well, my excuses, The car blew up when the two collided, killing the drivers week. none of which stand up to examination, fail to change the fact of both cars. This attack and the existence of two heavily that, stone cold sober as I was, I had a cracking week in the armed escort jeeps for every such bus every day is a sign The BBC's Middle East correspondent, Paul Adams, said, Union. of how far the peace effort still has to go. for the time being, both sides seem to recognise that a cer- Further evidence of tension was seen the sites of new tain degree of slippage is inevitable as they endeavour to Maybe I am getting old but the Union seems to be busy most Jewish settlements. Palestinians and Israelis clashed implement the deal. of the day and night and people are talking, enjoying them- selves and enjoying each others company independent of drink. (Friday excluded when I don’t think I have ever seen so Swedish Disco ends in tradgedy many drunk people in all my life). Don’t worry I have not On Monday night, 63 teenagers lost their lives after fire jumped from window ledges eight foot up while others given up the juice but I was just noting that as we approach the safety regulations were ignored in a Swedish disco hall. were unable to reach that high and were subsequently time that eighties nights will be replaced with nineties nights Emergency exits had been blocked with stacked chairs and trapped. The cause of the blaze is still unknown but arson (aaaaaargh) and seventies nights will all but disappear, are we tables and at the time of the fire 320 tickets had been sold had not been ruled out. The organisers of the party are like- going to start alienating drinking in a similar way to smoking?. for a venue with a 150 person capacity. Survivors had ly to face criminal charges in light of the overcrowding. Are there going to be non - drinking areas and dry bars? Doctors warn us about every single substance we consume. Drinking and smoking are the usual culprits but I heard that Great Train Robbery currently toothpaste is bad for your teeth and that apples are A man has appeared in court accused of stealing more ing enthusiasts. In line with tradition however the trains bad for you. than 40 items of railway rolling stock. Barry Daly, 42, a never arrived. Daly simply pocketed the customers money former employee of Rail Freight admitted 6 charges of and disappeared. One railway museum paid £42,000 to Similarly it strikes me as strange that there is a large campaign theft. The list of stolen goods (trains) reads like a terminus use trains as exhibits, but received nothing. Pete to legalise/decriminalise cannabis in this country while at the inventory: 4 locomotives, 2 coaches and 38 wagons. Waterman of Waterman Railway Heritage Trust said: same time every consumable good we take for granted is being "We're still staggered." Daly was released on conditional gradually cast aside. The point of this editorial - To remind After stealing the rolling stock Daly sold it to unsuspect- bail, pending sentencing everyone to enjoy themselves, eat well, remain healthy, don’t believe everything you are told and spend every waking moment outside your studies to make the most of the rest of the Lawyers Set Targets On Gun Makers semester during this depressing and miserably cold weather. The American city of New Orleans is planning to sue gun do not include enough safety devices on their products, Come along to Student Council tonight(Thursday) at 6.00 in manufacturers. City leaders hope to recover the money which would prevent "unauthorised" usage. Bob Ricker the Union, the Fireworks display afterwards and if any of you police and hospitals spend on clearing up after gun relat- from the American Shooting Sports Council, who will be have time I highly recommend going to visit the SKI show in ed crime. The lawsuit follows several legal actions by US among the defendants in the case said "Safety devices London.(On until Sunday). Watch out for a report next week. states against tobacco companies. They sought recom- aren't the end-all and be-all of gun safety; more important Cheers.Tom pense for money spent on the health of smokers. is the person using the gun," Many thanks go this week to Cliffy, Andy Thomas, The same lawyers who filed those claims are behind this Several other cities have announced their interest in pur- James Buller, Daniel Jones, Nick Walsh and Pravin, latest litigation . The basis of their case is that gun makers suing similar actions to New Orleans. LGB Society Skills Development Tuesday 20th October saw the University of Surrey Lesbian, Gay Want to know about working in a team? There’s a and Bisexual AGM. A new Chairperson, Vice-chairperson and skills session for you taking place on Wednesday 11 Treasurer were voted in, with three other officers dealing with November between 2pm and 4pm in Teaching Lesbian Affairs, Gender Issues and Ents/Publicity. All members Block 22. This will be led by the Post-Grad who attended gave full support and sympathy for the friend of Julie Association. P., who’s letter was published in Barefacts a few weeks ago. Full Also coming up soon is a session on Interpersonal Arts Editor Daniel Jones support was also shown for Alan Roy’s letter in response to this incidence. This year we see a near equal ratio of men to women, on Skills which will look at ways to improve your the society’s official list. An additional amendment to the society’s relationships with others in a work and social set- constitution was voted in, promoting the interests, safety, unique- ting. This is the last workshop in the semester and ness, dignity and confidentiality of LGB members and students at will be on Tuesday 17 November between 6pm and 8pm in Committee Room X, 1st Floor, Senate ([email protected]) the university. Those who attended the meeting felt that the societies aims should be to allow LGB students to meet others, to make com- House. You can get further details or sign up by ing out less stressful, to allow people to make friends and to allow contacting Rodney Bates on ext. 3177 or e-mail confused people to talk to someone in confidence. The society ([email protected]) Also, the events for after needs the support of it’s members to continue to thrive, to generate Christmas will shortly be planned so please contact new ideas and interests. If you are interested in being a member, Rodney with your suggestions and ideas asap. then feel free to come to one of our meetings, held every TUESDAY, 8PM, TB20b, dur- ing term time. For further infor- mation, or for someone to talk to in confidence, e-mail us at [email protected] We look forward to seeing you there. T.Alexander (Chairperson) ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 3 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 3 Penguins Guzzle Alcohol? FUDGE OK, you’ve seen the posters, and you’re think- we think the upcoming 70’s night might just do ing: “what the heck does PGA stand for?”. And the trick. the answer is...... the Postgraduate Association. Doesn’t sound quite so exciting anymore, does 70’s night. it? Because - and let’s be honest here - Postgrads Borrow your Dad’s flairs and your Mum’s plat- are generally scruffy, nocturnal, and boring, forms as the PGA invite you to step back in time aren’t they? with the 70’s night. Come as Gary Glitter, Elvis (the burger-filled version thereof), or an afro’d Well we say No! The PGA exists to prevent live- Disco King/Queen, and groove the night away. If ly undergrads from becoming boring postgrads. you aint got not flairs then make your own - take We drag them away from their textbooks and an old pair of jeans and cut 30cm up the seams, force them to have a good time - filling their then sellotape in a triangle of 70’s-friendly mate- boots with concrete to stop them leaving the rial (perhaps you could cut-up your supervisor’s dancefloor, if need be. shirt). Get your funky buttocks to the Helyn Rose We also do some serious things too, like fighting Bar for 8pm on Thursday 12th November. And for postgrad issues. Why not read on and find out that’ll be 2.50 in new money. what we do? The Serious Side. The Fun Side. The PGA’s not all about sipping cocktails and For many postgrads, life is an endless cycle of eating burnt hotdogs - there’s a serious side too. drinking coffee in the library restaurant and fail- The University does listen to what postgrads ing to complete the Daily Mail tea-break quickie have to say, and the PGA has representatives on Who the ‘F’ cares for your hair!!! crossword. That’s about as fun as it gets. But, to a number of university committees that deal with prove that the word “fun” isn’t just the answer to accommodation, welfare support, teaching poli- 3-down, 4-across, the Postgraduate Association cy, and academic standards, so we are in a good puts on regular social bashes for postgrads to get position to voice your concerns. Hairtec out and enjoy themselves. Oh, and make idiots of We recently held a Postgraduate Forum which themselves - judging by the photos, at least. had a much better turn out that we had expected After being told by existing postgrads that the - thanks to everyone who came. After something 24 Madrid Road PGA was for dull cardigan-and-slipper-wearers, of a shaky start to the discussion we had a num- we were somewhat surprised to find a hundred of ber of interesting point come out, especially on them turn up to our first social event - a cocktails the subject of facilities for research students, evening in Wates House. Rumour has it that postgraduate campus accommodation, personal (01483)440414 vague smiles could be seen on some postgrads’ tutors for postgrads, and the university’s draft faces. code of practice for research degrees. All this got fed back to the relevant university committees, Determined that we were going to educate these and we now have representatives on two small Reduced Prices for Students postgrads in the art of having fun, we launched university focus groups to discuss some of these into a full year of social events. After two pub issues. We will let you know what happens! crawls and another cocktails evening, we had We also play an active role in the Students’ Tuesdays - Fridays inclusive conquered Chemistry and Mech. Eng. with at Union, helping write the Surrey For Beginners least one smiling postgrad in each department. that was sent out to all new postgrads, and we are It took a whole night of do-si-doing and stripping going to lend a hand with the Union’s first ever CLUB REVIEW: by Drew Deadman the willow at our Barn Dance to win over the vacation publication, due this Christmas. Bio-Scientists and Mathematicians. Of course, if we are going to accurately represent Halloween Party @ Ministry of Sound 31 10 98 Surrey postgrads then we need to know what you Effects from manipulating are placed into the mix with con- think, and what your concerns are. You can col- the Solar centration and dedication. The experience is lar the committee at any time to tell us your con- Projector heightened by blatant strobe and pulsating blue cerns, or just chat. Better still, you could come to dribble down and red. The phunking crowd of 900 plus lock our AGM next week and tell us then! The Tunnel as into the sound, unaware that 5 am has passed. the bad-and- WHoP? mad for it The event concludes at 9 am. Those with We have recently been talking with Wates House enter the endurance (Lord C. and Co.) leave accomplished about having a regular Wates House Postgrad Ministry. It is and those on the 7 am catharsis (Mr. E. Woo et al, Night (WHoP Night - sad, innit?). It would be a 1 am and the Dan & Rach) feel grooved and funked. chance for postgrads to socialise together every desire for week, and there could WHoPping bar promo- aural and Although cold and harsh in meteorological tions and WHoPping theme evenings now and visual excitement can be witnessed in the eyes of terms, an apre’s-warmth is felt; Rulin’ and IN then. But is this what you want, or would you the People. DEEP make October 1998 hot. prefer us to put all our efforts into occasional big Our real triumph was the Summer Boat Party on events? We think it’s a very exciting idea that Diva vocals exhume The Bar, inducing the Club (Please contact Drew on 07771 997 205, for the Thames where a hundred merry postgrads set could start straight after Christmas - but we want Kittens into flirtatious movement. Flashes of future event info.) off from Kingston in the New Southern Belle, your views first. ‘orangeblackblue’ surround the author whilst and managed to dance the night away with dance spikes nod up and down. Phat Vibes:The Launch:06.11.98:HRB:2000- moves provided by the Physicists. Sadly, howev- The PGA AGM 0200] er, the Physicists had calculated the optimum Every year we need to elect a fresh set of indi- Above in the Space Bar IN dance moves based on spherical dancers dancing viduals to run the PGA and to carry on our mis- DEEP is smashing the ear drums in a vacuum, travelling at the speed of light, and sion of teaching all postgrads to smile! There are with its crisp arrangement of UK so they didn’t quite work in practice. Anyway, many sorts of roles from President to Web Page Garage. The percussive trade- after the Boat Party we had found smiling post- Editor, all of them essential to keeping the PGA mark is again confirmed as Russ grads in Civil Engineering and Management ticking over. And you can choose the level of Tarley Jr. pops and slaps the 14 Studies. commitment you want to offer - we want you piece drum rig. Cutting and even if you can only spare a few hours per mixing the beats are Greg As the summer vacation dragged on and on and semester. Stainer, DJ Dove and Mr. on, we went all out to win over the Physicists Even if you don’t want to stand for a position Tickles; each perfectionists in with a barbecue by the lake. We thought we had yourself, then please do still come to the AGM - this underground trade. succeeded until we accidentally put tomato it’s important that the right people are running Masquerade, Jump 98, Over ketchup instead of brown sauce on a Nuclear your Postgraduate Association. Your vote Here and Hyperfunk make the Physicist’s hotdog, and we found ourselves back counts! The AGM is on Tuesday 10th November Space Bar take off. Yannis at square one. But we came up with a devilishly at 6pm in Wates House - it won’t take long, and (Promoter) sees his creation cunning plan as we finished off the social calen- please join us in the bar afterwards! blossom. dar with a bar quiz: slip in some tricky physics questions. The plan worked, and we caught a Get in touch! A cool moment is grasped in The Physicist smirk a little as we asked them about You can always find out what the PGA is up to Lab and Red Bull is slurped. light and masses. They still got trounced by the by keeping your eye on Bare Facts, and checking Bio- Science team, mind you. our website. We always want to hear from you, The transfusion from UK into So we closed the year happy in the knowledge and you can either e-mail us or leave a note in US occurs as the author travers- that we had taught some postgrads the meaning our pigeonhole in the Students’ Union. We look es into The Box. A throbbing, of the word “fun”, and pointed the others in the forward to hearing from you! intimate bass note pumps out of direction of a dictionary. We have still got the infamous Ministry Sound Material Science and Elec Eng to crack, but we http://www.ee.surrey.ac.uk/Societies/pga/ System, courtesy of Basement have had two social events already this year, and [email protected] Jaxx. Tweaking, sampling, eq ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 4 (1,1)

4 Thursday November 5 1998

NUS?! What have NUS ever done for us? By Marcus Mayers (External affairs officer) So, the NUS. Does it really do anything for us? Would women, to attend a women-only conference. we be better off without it? Well, next semester we are This year a more neutral political stance has been adopt- going to have a vote to decide. This article is meant to ed by the leaders of NUS. This can only be a good thing, show some of the services the Union and Surrey students as it should lead to a more realistic and representative get out of NUS. This is particularly important as next view being put forward, showing how students today year you will be asked whether we should remain mem- work This is typified by last week’s student charter day, bers. After all if we’re paying upwards of £30,000 per celebrating our new role as customers, without the mass year for NUS what do we truly gain? marches tried in previous years.

NUS publicly flaunts itself as the most democratic Beyond the political aspect, NUS offer many key ser- organisation is western Europe. NUS get together once a vices which must be seen as the true reason why our year for their own mutual gratification in Blackpool, Union and many similar establishments still remain there the democratic process shines through at its best. members. At the most basic level, there are discounts at Every crack pot organisation, such as communists and HMV, many leading retail outlets and some eateries. yogic fliers, takes up their right for democratic represen- NUS offer us a discount rate on beer that we would only tation. And, due to the highly democratic voting process, be able to match as part of a large pub chain. They also conference often fails to agree on anything of any use to offer legal and financial advisers to the union for free. students. This leads to the question of whether it truly These services may seem trivial, but when the bare represent what students think. Last year’s great achieve- bones of how the union works (such as the funding for ment out of Blackpool was NUS voting that students clubs and societies) are looked at, NUS plays a critical should no longer have 10% off in McDonald’s because role helping the decision makers find out what is legally of it’s “unethical nature”. Is that what the majority of stu- and technically possible. NUS also offers training for our dents really want? sabbaticals, and any other interested parties. Many forums for discussion exist through the NUS network The blundering nature of NUS means that any motion it which allow new and innovative ideas to be exchanged passes tends to represent the lonely and obsessive, so between student unions. that they feel like they can make a difference, while ignoring the needs of the apathetic majority. NUS can be In conclusion, although NUS’s political structure may be a very antiquated system, and until recently has been archaic, the services they provide to Student Unions is dominated by Labour Party members, which of course invaluable. Besides the yearly farce at Blackpool, the has led to no conflict of interests. In addition to this, the NUS president and his team work hard to represent stu- constitution is unworkable as a large majority is needed dents and achieve some success in politics which would to repeal any motions while only 50% to implement it. be impossible without NUS. This leads to the crazy mentality which means we are NB: The views on NUS expressed in this article are not obliged to elect a women’s officer, who can only be a those of USSU. GIG GUIDE NEED SOME EXTRA It is always advisable to confirm with the venue CASH ? before travelling.

Marketing and Communications November require students Thurs 5th The Jellys/Yo-Yo’s @ Camden Barfly. with good communication skills Fri 6th Midge Ure @ Reading Alleycat Sat 7th Maniacal, The Scrutineers, KFC, for Campus Tours Dissent, Dreyfuss @ Aldershot West End Centre. and Sun 8th No Jahoda @ Surrey Uni to talk about ‘Student Life’ to Mon 9th Caffeine @ Reading Alleycat. Parents Natalie Imbruglia @ Reading Rivermead Centre. Tues 10th Solvent, New Rising Sun @ Reading on UCAS days held on Wednesday afternoons Alleycat starting on 11 November running through to March 1999 Wed 11th Dave Sutherland @ Reading Alleycat Thurs 12th The Jellys @ Reading Alleycat. Talk from 2.50 - 3.10 Delakota @ Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms. Tours from 3.10 - 3.50 Sophia/Catpower @ London Garage. Athletico £5 a talk/tour Strip @ Camden Barfly. Contact: Pauline Elliott, Marketing & Communications Fri 13th Direction, Day Centre, Mamod @ Ground Floor, Senate House, Tel: 259192 or Ext 3171 Aldershot West End Centre e-mail: [email protected] CHARTER BALL UPDATE The Charter Ball is an annual event, cele- Do you want a Charter Ball? What main entertainment act would you Do you want a casino and jazz band brating the University Charter - when prefer to see? during the evening? Surrey became a University rather than a Please tick: Yes No technical college, in 1966. It also coincides Please tick: Top-name DJ Band Please tick: Yes No with the election of the new sabbatical offi- If no, please complete details at the bottom cers and is a big celebration of the Union. of this questionnaire and do not answer the Any other suggestions The event is a traditional ball - everyone remaining questions Do you want to be able to attend the gets dressed up and parties until late, but we Other event (please specify) Charter Ball meal before the Ball? ...... need your help! The Charter Ball ‘99 com- mittee are currently devising the greatest ...... Please tick: Yes No ...... Charter Ball ever. Please fill in this ques- tionnaire to help us provide exactly what ...... YOU want. Please fill in the questionnaire ...... If the Ball was in the Union complex, do below, tear out the slip and hand it in to you think Chancellor’s should be open to Name: ...... Cathy at reception or put in the Bare Facts all students - even those not attending the box, out of hours. All completed question- Do you think the Ball should be in the Ball - until 10:30pm, for meeting friends Department: ...... naires will be collected and two winners University hall or in the Union building? and general drinking? drawn from a hat, both of whom will win Email/Phone: free Christmas Party tickets. Good Luck! Please tick: Hall Union Please tick: Yes No ...... Thank you for your time. ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 5 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Features 5

MOLOKO PLACEBO / ULTRASOUND Union House, 25/10/98 Brixton Academy, 24 / 10 / 98 The atmosphere in the union tonight is To say Ultrasound have a big stage presence is merely a poor joke at the expense of their ironically seemingly different, more laid back and monikered vocalist, Tiny. Nonetheless, they have a big Suede sound courtesy largely of Bernard chilled. It obivious to see that tonight is Butler wannabe, Richard Green that seems disadvantaged only by Floyd progressive tendencies. going to be a success due to the amount Ultrasound have become a feature of music press coverage lately, but I ask for what reason? Three poorly selling singles and not a 'could be' model in their midst seems little justification. Despite of people down here for the first band extreme nervousness beforehand, they indulge us, the fans, with a rousing, anthemic and occasion- Hooverphonic and the great dark expanse ally rock fest of a show. that is Haris. Hooverphonic are causaul about there playing as they are currently Then there's the wait to see the hottest ticket in town this autumn, in the company of Eddie Izzard, on thier European tour. Their Portishead- Saffron Republica and sundry Bluetones and Suede members. Not to mention the film crew seeking morcheeba-trip hop sound booming form out and being sought by the sensation seekers for the mandatory fan interlude in the obligatory the boxes are subtle. they played songs angst related band video, which incidentally we all 'agreed to being a part of on account of being from their album Blue powdered milk there'! like a hoover over carpet. (sorry about Incidentally it won't be the video release of the year on account of the bands poor performance bor- the pun) With Hooverphonic leaving the dering on the sterile and lifeless which it normally takes bands many more albums worth of touring stage, we are left with the spinning of to perfect. And there's hardly a Brian-a-like in the crowd - the Glam-Goths even realising he's just a tunes from DJ Kid Loco mixing tracks marketing tool leaving the way for the Normals to latch onto the hottest ticket in town. The slow from Deejay Punk-roc to the Beasties. A poignancy of 'Burger Queen' and 'Lady Of The Flowers' sink in their own contrivance. '36 Degrees' verstile set catering for the likes of the is lumpen and who cares if there's even an encore. Daniel Jones break 'n' beat, funk, and acid jazz fans out there tonight. The ending of his set is Grandaddy Converse known as the subdued lighting comes into effect around the union and with that 20th October 1998 Moloko enters the runninig. Roisins disarming vocals hits the airwaves with the harshness Grandaddy are five oft-bearded, could've been subjected to all this music and you are told what of a bright light but yet it is a wonderful harmonious light that we hear. The lads start their Hillbillies from Redneck America. They are pur- the cool thing is and you turn into this...you lose indefinable blend of phat p-funk beats, jungle, trip hop and jazz tunes which enlighten the veyors of heartspun, deliciously affecting your identity and I'm afraid of that. Americana fuzzy rock. And tonight Jason opens REM always stayed in Athens didn't they? crowd to slowly wander the realms of heaven. tracks from thier debut album ;Do You like up to discuss their history and the essentials of Yeah, they did. From what I understand they still my tight Sweater?' are casually mixed in with thier new tunes from ' Iam not a Doctor'. All music at the moment. have the same lot of people working from them well recieved by the crowd as they start running through the gates of heaven. It seems as Could I ask you what it's like in Modesto? like they had in the beginning. they have all the time in the world as they perform one of their little remixes in the encore. Modesto itself doesn't have that much to offer, Do you like being compared to other bands or The expertise of the band is unimaginable as they pounded those strings, bash those drums pretty God damn boring. You read about a lot of do you prefer to have a kind of uniqueness? and push those pedals. An enjoyable wander through heaven for all those who were there. new records, but the chance of finding that I really don't like it or dislike it, I think to those Kevin Marston record in Modesto is small. It does have other who are gonna put in the time to listen to music advantages - you can go to lots of different places are gonna develop their own impression. Maybe REPUBLICA cos it's in close proximity to neat natural stuff it can be valuable for them to like have some- like the mountains and the lakes in Yosemite. thing to start with and it works for me occasion- London Astoria, 28/10/98 Your music does have an organic, natural ally. The idea of Republica must have been brewing in the mind of many an a&r man before they kind of quality... I read something describing you as a dis- I guess but Modesto could be considered a large orchestra !... finally arrived. What do the public like? Well, the public like dance music that’s for sure. type of town now with about 200,000 people liv- Hal from Giant Sounds described us as that. They also like a bit of guitar and if you can stick an attractive female into the picture that’ll ing there...but it's still not metropolitan. Something else as far as orchestras go, our definately help in the photo shoots and Loaded-generation magazines. Republica are now What do you think of England? rhythm section snores really bad so they've been on their second album and nothing has changed. ‘Drop Dead Gorgeous’ is still as aggres- Wish we could see more than just London, we dubbed a snorechestra! sive as ever, along with last single ‘From Rush Hour With Love’, and the obvious inclusion just haven't seen that much. We come here and We all laugh uncontrollably. of ‘Ready To Go’ (oddly enough, not held back for the encore). Saffron has a strange vocal, the label wants to get their money's worth, so we Do you relate to the whole lo-fi sound? at times she grunts like an army officer yet occasionally her powerful vocal is harnessed to can't go gallivanting round the country which is I relate to it only in the sense that lo-fi is very soaring diva proportions. Almost every song is preceeded by ‘come on you fuckers!’ as the probably what we'd really like to do. London is practical. The power in regular people being able DAT cuts in (which not only holds the drum loops, but backing vocals as well) and the face- really neat....but literally one of the best days we to create music (is great) I read, probably four had touring was on a day off and I'm sure it cost years ago, Lou Barlow (of Sebadoh) said lo-fi is less man-machines drop into gear. Still, the crowd love it and actual dancing breaks out a bunch of money, but we spent the day up in not a category of music beacause Sebadoh and instead of the indie/metal pogo. Simple in concept, but aren’t all the most successful things? Keswick - it was seriously pretty f****** unbe- Guided By Voices who were constantly dubbed Andrew Thomas lievable. It was about 83 degrees outside, there lo-fi at that time didn't really have that much was a waterfall right at the back of the hotel and resemblence to one another. BUFFALO TOM it cleared out our minds. I'm sure there are a We are interupted by more drinks, before Jason bunch of places that exist like that... Continues.... London Astoria, 27/10/98 Yeah, you're probably better to keep away I think the term is gonna completely disappear from the metropolitan areas... because recording is becoming that much more Buffalo Tom, unjustly, look set to be perennial runners up in the megastars race. They Actually San Francisco being as close as it is accessible...self sufficiency made the lo-fi term have now put out six stunning albums crammed with shimmering pop songs and joyous even tends to be a chore. We collectively despise such a common term. I would like to sound hi-fi melodies. Buffalo Tom take the best bits from Dinosaur Jr., REM and Neil Young to Los Angeles and we like San Francisco a lot but there's something quite unattractive about an deliver heartbreaking lullabies and breathtaking power-pop. The set starts off with a more than we like LA. Certain people get used to over-glossy record like a Bee-Gees record...with quite awesome 1-2-3-4, 'Velvet Roof' and 'Summer' setting us up for awesome takes on a certain pace and their lifestyle will allow them all the digital this and digital that. 'Postcard' and 'Rachael'. Many bands can start this well but Buffalo Tom were able to to...I dunno. You used to be on the Seattle based Will back it up with every song they played, be it a fast one or a slow one, delivered in stun- They trail off, trying to express how they're used Records, what did you think about the grunge ning style. The traditional three- to a nice leisurely pace which suits them just fine. thing? The problem with some bands in England is It worked out pretty good for a lot of heavy met- piece; Bill Janowitz (guitar and that they have to be based in London to keep tlers...I can't remember being too affected by it vocals), Chris Colbourn up with quite fast moving scenes myself. I can think of a few Soundgarden records (bass/vocals) and Tom Maginnis That's the weird thing because when we finally that affected me. (drums) is aided and abetted by Phil started getting better...travelling a little bit here What bands and artists have really influenced Aitkin on keyboards. They just and there...everybody says 'you've gotta move you? sound so good, the way Bill will start out of town, you've gotta move to San Francisco, The Beatles have been the most enduring group singing a line and Chris will end it, you've gotta move to LA' and it almost became of people that I have listened to. It was literally the oh-so-close harmonies and such a cliché. It's a valid consideration but it's about the first thing I latched on to and I was thesheer passion they put into it. almost such a common thing you have to start about four or five years old. questioning that. It's like OK, well let's see what What do you think of tonight’s support acts? Buffalo Tom are truly a great band on happens if we stay here a little bit longer and the We heard really good things about Ten Bensons this night, it is time that radio woke results were that every time we would go out to and we did a little tour with Snowpony. They up and played the songs. The rest of other places, people tended to get something out seem to rely pretty highly on a DAT tape but the set is also packed with great of us cos we just weren't following what was hip they're pretty cool. But anytime I can catch songs. From 'Kitchen Door', at the time. Those things would become unhip something that isn't two guitars, a bass vocals 'Tangerine' and 'Taillights Fade' to set and other things would become hip and we and drums I do. But you'd be surprised at what a closer 'Treehouse'. For the encore would remain doing the same thing that we were rarity it is. they give their classic first single doing. After a while it can turn into a dog chas- We go on to talk about the homogeneity of many 'Sunflower Suit' and 'I'm Allowed', ing a tail - a band moves to...wherever. I mean, if bands and look forward to seeing Ten Bensons. we had a dollar for every time this happens, a returning a second time to blast band moves to big city they have a little bit of Interviewed by Daniel Jones, transcribed by through 'Birdbrain'. What a gig! uniqueness to them and all of a sudden you are Laura Knight What a band! Rob Winder ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:05 Page 6 (1,1)

6 Music Thursday November 5 1998

This is more than just one more tribute. It is hard to believe how contemporary this can sound con- SINGLE OF THE WEEK SINGLES sidering that it has ‘New York, New York’ on it. BIS - Eurodisco (Wiija) Try it if you dare!! 7/10 G.T. GROOP DOGDRILL - Personal (Mantra) The trio with the eighties obses- If you have been paying attention, you will know sion return fresh from success in CATCHERS - Come Around (Setanta) that Groop Dogdrill produce a mighty fucked-up Japan and with what sounds like Yet another indie band that is very promising, but swamp blues meets heavy metallic rock sound. some seriously upgraded equip- is lacking an essential ingredient if they are to ‘Personal’ is no exception so but it. If you have succeed: good production... The vocals are ment. No longer resembling not been paying attention then wise up and buy it. superb, the guitars are very catchy, poppy and their lo-fi selves of a year ago 9/10 R.W. easy to listen to, but the production just lets them Eurodisco is a Human League- down.. D.A 6/10 esque stomp with the sound of a 3 COLOURS RED-Paralyse E.P.(Creation) This EP in advance of an album due in February, dancefloor filler. Should finally THE YOUNG OFFENDERS - Pink & Blue has the sound of a band really enjoying them- establish Bis as a “real” band (Columbia) selves. The title track ‘Paralyse’, is a glorious with more to offer than mere ‘Pink & Blue’ is quite a lively little number, with rock song that, in the verse has elements of ‘Kandy Pop’. 9/10 A.T. refreshing harmonies scattered liberally all the Beasties’ ‘Party’, and it gives off exactly the way through. It is one of those tunes that are same feeling of reckless abandon. The same can incredibly easy to pick up and discover yourself be said of the other three tracks, all of which can humming ages afterwards. Quite nice, but there’s DADDY’S FAVOURITE - I Feel Good Things stand alone. Basically a very good record. 9/10 nothing strikingly special about it. 6/10 E.C. For You. (Go Beat) M.A. If you want a record which you like and will lis- ONE LADY OWNER - Wheelkings 1973 ten to occasionally, do not buy this one. If you NT - Responsibilities (Epic) (Creation) just want to buy something to make your record Now here’s something different, a bluesy number What can I say about a band who seem to be collection bigger, this is the one you want as you which probably wouldn’t look out of place on a obsessed with cars and tacky American tv cop can pick up all of the copies that no-one else Quentin Tarantino soundtrack. A nice swinging shows? Well... I can't exactly say they're too great wants quite cheaply at your local second hand bass and acoustic tune with enthusiastic vocals DOOLALLY Straight From The Heart but if you like songs which are fast, furious, gui- music store, and no I didn't "feel good things", and the occasional “humph!”. More like this (Locked On) tar rock, which all end in under 3 minutes, you for it. 2/10 D.N. please. A.S 7/10 A run of the mill dance track by the newly com- should be quite happy with this. 6/10 D.N. bined project from producers Shanks & Bigfoot. THE KING – ‘Come Along As You Are’ (EMI Nothing to really talk about except the remix VELOCETTE-Reborn(Wiija) Records) seems to add a few samples from other groups. Much acclaimed for their potential as much for This weeks reviews brought to you by: Elvis lives! Groan, mutter, sigh….. As much as 4/10 K.M anything they have produced so far, this release Denise Nicholson, Emma Clark, Matthew I hate to admit it, this single has taken me by sur- from Velocette falls into that category again. It’s Anderson, Andrew Thomas, Dean Arif, Oliver prise. Within these three songs Elvis is not only RADAR - Slow Down (WCR) a very nice sounding tune, easy on the ears, and Chamero, Andrew Smith, Gemma Decent, Kevin resurrected, but he is also comfortably placed The press release calls this “hard-edged groovy you get the feeling they’re trying to get to where Marston, Ian Purvey, James Hemingway, Gareth within the style of other artists such as Frank pop”, which is a new wave to describe what Belle and Sebastian are. However, they lack the Nolan, Georgina Tarrent, Daniel Jones, and Nick Sinatra and Status Quo. Both are very diverse sounds like a punk band going indie. Pants. 3/10 edge, and aren’t by any means as convincing. A Walsh styles. Each style is dealt with amazingly well. I.P. pleasant ditty, but not quite there yet. 6/10 M.A.

is quite special indeed. 8/10 D.J. ALBUM OF THE WEEK ALBUMS SARAH McLACHLAN - Surfacing (Arista) U2 - Best of 1980-1990 (Island) Sarah’s wonderful voice is one of the best aspects When the band of the eighties brings out DAF - Die Kleinen Und Die Bosen (Mute) of this album. The album is a brilliant compila- an album that is the greatest hits of that There is a chain of thought going around that tion of haunting and mellow tracks. Best known period, you should buy the album out of there is nothing new in music. That all of todays for her top 20 single ‘Adia’, Sarah’s piano based historical importance if for no other rea- music is just a variant of something that came songs are all excellent. ‘Building A Mystery’ and son. From ‘Boy’ in 1980 to ‘Rattle and before. It is hard to underestimate the effect DAF ‘I love You’ are the two best tracks on the album Hum’ in 1989 U2 was never with out (Deutsch Amerikanische Freundshaft) has had on and could be as much as a hit as ‘Adia’ was. Also critical acclaim. It spans this period in todays Electro acts. DAF are the forefathers of included is the song ‘Angels’ from the film ‘City U2’s life, and produces all on one album, much of todays techno. This album is being re- Of Angels’. If you want to buy an album to sit the songs that gave people reason to issued, as its the famous dance label Mutes first and relax to while trying to do your work, buy believe that they were the band of the ever release. If you like your music experimental, this one. 8/10 G.D. decade. The track list reads something and you want to get to the roots of electronic like the greatest hits of all time, ‘Pride (in music. It is well recommended. 9/10 N.W. DEPECHE MODE - The Singles 81>85 the name of love)’, ‘ With or Without (Mute) you’, ‘Desire’, ‘New Years Day ‘, to FREESTYLERS - We Rock Hard The incredible difference between their current name but a few. Every song on the (Freskanova) material and that of fifteen years ago is no more album is a classic, with the exception of This is the band that won Muzik’s magazine Best apparent than after a quick listen to this collec- ‘Sweetest Thing’, which looks like a Band Award, beating off the likes of Massive tion of their early singles. Eighties anthems like peasant in the presence of kings. The sec- Attack, The Chemical Brothers, and the ‘Just Can’t Get Enough’ get you humming, ond CD in this limited edition has fifteen Propellerheads... How come??? Because they are although the temptation to laugh at their almost of their best ‘B-sides’ from that period also. As best of albums go this is a CD which nobody can do brilliant!!! From the opening dance floor hit Kraftwerk-like drum machine can be distracting. without. As much as it kills me to give something 10/10, it would be an injustice not to. 10/10 G.N. ‘Freestyle Vibes’, to the furiously fast ‘Warning!’ Once you’re out of the melody-made-on-a- and their top forty ‘B-Boy Stance’ this is one of ok 6/10 O.C. comparisons could easily be made with Friends’ Sinclair-Spectrum era, Depeche Mode become the most promising debut albums of the year. Ross! 4/10 J.R.H. more recognisable. ‘Blasphemous Rumours’ is 8/10 D.A. JONNY L - Magnetic (XL) especially reminiscent of the Ultra album. The You could be forgiven for thinking this is some- DALEK-Negro, Necro, Nekros (Gern) occasional ballad (such as the piano lead KARATE - The Bed Is In The Ocean one trying to emulate the great ‘Jean MJ (Michel Those of you attracted to this record in the hope ‘Somebody’) gives breadth to what can have eas- (Southern) Jarre)’ ‘Magnetic Fields’ LP (given the similari- that it may be a novelty record released b every- ily become a string of singles that sounded like With all this big beat hysteria trumpeted by ty in name and title), and certainly you could one’s favourite pepperpot-shaped monsters different takes on each other. For the fans and the Kevin, now its the turn of the funk rock brothers draw slight comparisons with some of the synths should beware- it’s not. It is, as the artist pro- inquisitive. 7/10 A.T. that are Karate. But they're also folk soul broth- in operation here. JMJ, however, this most cer- claims himself, supposed to be educational hip- ers and a million other things, scattering their tainly is not. This is the drum’n’bass (yet anoth- hop. Or at least political hip-hop. At the risk of BONKERS 5 - Anarchy In The Universe soul unashamedly over slinky, solacious solos, er ridiculous musical division) ‘hero’, who unfairly generalising the genre, it does sound like (React) crevacious chords and bleeding basslines. The brought us the classic ‘Piper’. Returning with a a lot of other rap songs. And the lyrics? Well, if Quite a mixed bunch here (which is what tends to jazzy opening of 'Diazapam' falls into desperate totally self-created (writing, production, perfor- you can be bothered to listen that hard, they’re happen when you have 3 cds with over 40 threadbare rock and then, wait, its a slice of mance) bundle of ‘tunes’, this is a collection of not really that political or educational. The press tracks...): some of the tracks are excellent: fast Nirvana and, hold on, there's Michael Stipe extremely repetitive loops, grooves and sound release states that this music is supposed to make and furious techno that will send your head spin- singing the bridge. And all that in (dis)honour of effects obtained from as far away as Japan. This us more aware of our “universal community” ning up to hyper-space in a fluorescent whirl, but muscle relaxants. 'Not To Call The Police' is may make the bloke out to be some kind of magi- through “apocalyptic beats and abstract rhymes”/ others just sound like they’ve taken the music out aggresive soul searching and perhaps the closest cian, however the wizardry is lost on me. Credit Frankly, I’m more interested in how he expected of a computer game and remixed it, giving it a a cool band like this can get to the epic album for the solo efforts but, as a fellow reviewer to be called Dalek and get away with it. 2/10 faster beat and leaving it at that. On the whole, its closers of prog rockers of past and present. This pointed out the other week about something, M.A. GRANDADDY / SNOWPONY / TEN BENSON Benson have texture and in fact enough texture to have Grandaddy these, the largely bearded Grandaddy deliver the kind of show that London LA2, 20 / 10 / 98 eager to watch them. legends are perhaps made of. They veer from a powerful, even delinquant, instrumental intro to the supine, unhurried delight of Ten Benson have been touted by Steve Lamacq. And he, strange- Snowpony are an experimental horribly dischordant Garbage. 'Everything Beautiful Is Far Away'. There is magic in the air, and ly, is the former co-owner of Deceptive, who released Ten sprinkled on the ground and in peoples heads and its spreading Bensons mini-LP. Well, enough of the conspiracy theory. They all The guest list is rammed with journalists and media types and the from the stage. Few bands can touch this magnificence and even- wear identical shirts and headbands and peddle an organic lo-fi atmosphere and expectation for Grandaddy is immense. They are a tually Grandaddy may be the grandfathers of fibrous beauty. crunch. 'Lovely Guy' is slow, a snivelling bass leading the keybord beautiful, natural band and it seems fitting then, that the stage be swirl up the garden path to some ancient, grainy orchard. Yes, Ten adorned with sundry shrubbery and greenery. Nestling between Daniel Jones ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 7 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Entertainments Guide 7

Cineline 0870 505 0007 Fri 6th Nov to Thurs 12th Nov ANTZ fri-sat 11.00 (sat only) 13.15 15.30 17.45 19.55 22.00 sun 12.15 14.30 16.40 18.50 21.00 mon-thurs 13.20 15.30 17.40 18.50 21.00

6th The Exorcist fri-sat 13.00 16.00 18.45 21.30 Friday sun 12.15 15.00 17.45 20.30 mon-thurs 14.00 17.45 20.30 Yesterday is a memory, today is history, tomorrow is in the Still Crazy hands of one man: Bond Tomorrow Never Dies apparently and fri-sat 13.00 (fri only) 15.10 17.30 19.45 22.00 Mr Bond is here again to save the world in style. Eliot Carver, sun 14.30 18.45 21.00 a rich press baron, attempts to start World War 3 by convinc- mon-thurs 13.45 16.30 18.45 21.00(except thurs) ing the British and Chinese that they are making hostile There’s Something about Mary advances towards each other. M orders Bond to use his previ-

7th fri-sat 13.00 15.40 18.15 21.40 ous relationship with Carver’s wife as a way of infiltrating his sun 12.10 14.40 17.10 20.40 international organization, but Carver soon realises Bond’s mon-tues & thurs 14.15 17.00 20.40 intent. However, with the help of a female Chinese Army Saturday Haloween H20 agent, Bond gets closer and closer - but will he get close fri-sat 20.00 22.10 enough to stop Carver from directing a UK missile at Beijing? sun-thurs 19.00 21.00 Pierce Brosnan plays Bond with an all star cast including Teri Elizabeth Hatcher, Michelle Yeoh and not forgetting Dame Judy and fri-sat 12.50 15.40 18.30 21.20 Lionel. Bring your gadgets to LT G on 8th Nov at 5 & 8pm or sun-thurs 14.15 17.30 20.20 9th Nov at 8pm

8th Saving Private Ryan fri-sat 20.50 The Outsiders is the Arts film at 8pm on 11th Nov. Come and Sunday sun-tues & thurs 19.45 laugh at Matt Dillon, Patrick Swayze, Rob Lowe, Emilio The Truman Show Estevez and Tom Cruise looking really young. It’s 1966 and if fri-sat14.10 16.40 19.10 21.50 you’re a kid growing up in Tulsa you’re either a Soc or a sun 15.40 18.10 Greaser.The two groups are always at each others throats try- mon-thurs 13.10 15.40 18.10 20.50 ing to save face and protect each other. The story follows 2 Small Soldiers Greasers who come to realise that there is more to life than fri-sat 11.15 (sat only) 13.45 16.30 19.00 their town and way of life and go to discover the world. Buy

9th sun-thurs 13.10 15.45 18.10 your tickets from the union receptionist or reserve your ticket Snake eyes via the box in the post room. See you in LT G

Monday fri-sat 13.45 17.00 19.30 22.00 sun-thurs 13.30 16.00 18.30 21.00 Mulan fri-sat 11.30 (sat only) 13.30 15.45 18.00 sun 12.30 14.45 17.00 mon-thurs 13.45 16.45 Ever After: A Cinderella Story sat 12.40 10th sun 12.25 Tuesday 11th Wednesday 12th Thursday 13th Friday 14th Saturday ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 8 (1,1)

8 ENTS Thursday November 5 1998

Rock Shop Open for Business Firework display by The sound of power guitars, crashing ‘The fun part is requests. I mean, I the Globe /Golf Ball Hot dogs, Burgers, drums and swirling synths has been can script out a show, pick my playlist from 21.30 Soup, Vegie, Tea, echoing around the halls of campus and have it all worked out, but the fun Coffee, Toffee apples over the past few weeks, all thanks to really starts when we get people all available a brand new rock show on GCR phoning in, because their choices are 1602AM, the University’s very own inevitably weirder than anything I’ve TODAY, radio station. picked.’ THURSDAY 5th of Sparklers for sale Experienced student rock jock Greg Sanderson himself is a hardened veter- Sanderson (the driving force behind an of the student radio circuit, having NOVEMBER the Rock Shop) is obviously a man on earned his stripes as a DJ at Kent Bring a Firework, exchange a mission: University, Canterbury and the University of Massachusetts, USA: Sparklers for sale at reception for Silly Night ‘Student radio isn’t just about playing “Double and a mixer for £1” the indie bands. Sure, that’s impor- ‘Working for a US college radio sta- tant, but the power of student radio tion was the best,although it took me lies in having the freedom to play the first six months just to get a show. iMac - Competition whatever music you want. It’s about It’s a lot easier to get on the radio here being able to play Radiohead and at Guildford, which is why GCR is iMac is the space age Apple that has set a new Rush back-to-back.’ currently encouraging everyone to get standard in computer design. With one-button involved - as a DJ trainer, I have a internet set up and access and a striking new This ideology makes for a line-up of vested interest in getting as many design, it’s for parents, kids, students, teachers bands on the Rock Shop that is most people on air as possible. At the end and internet explorers of every age. It’s the certainly eclectic. Metallica rub of the day, that’s what it’s all power of technology, with none of the hassle. shoulders with ABBA, and you’re about.The Rock Shop goes out to it’s everything you need, with nothing extra to just as likely to hear the new single campus every Wednesday night, 9- buy. With this in mind Applea are running a from Tori Amos as you are classic 11pm. Requests can be phoned in nationwide student competition. tracks from power bands Bon Jovi during the show on ext 9311. For the chance to win answer the following and Van Halen. Those curious about training to be a question and send your entries to: But the Rock Shop isn’t just about DJ can e-mail Greg Sanderson One iMac please Mister! freedom for the DJ: on [email protected] Blurb Promotions 124 - 128 Barbly Road London W10 6BL

Q: Which 3 Apple products do you find on the front of the UK Apple Store Mon 9th November 20.30 (www.apple.com.ukstore) on the Internet? ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 9 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Notices & Personals 9

bo’s!!!!! you loads...em apart from read all the person- alive ? what are you doing in Just a couple of Personals nat least you got the toilet this nwanted 4, 2yr management als there? time lou!!!!! students to do back to back nblokes in queues beware- luly nnorthern people blow goats .n”cherry drops, phhhh , mars nashley, isn’t that a girls name? ni hope you’ve washed your lease in jan 2000. interested? is about!!! ni know a young midwife bars for me” nneil, isn’t that a poof’s name? hands!!!!! contact li81ca njust remember i didn’t even called daisy, who’s refusal to njon, sometimes it’s hard to be nmark - you’re lucky i can’t nest ce que tu portes une nhouse 57, it’s say “i will if you will”.30. dance drives me crazy a woman.... think of anything to say..... culotte ce soir??? julian!!!!!!!!!!!!! nno grabbin’, only crabbin’ nresisting persuasion, on every njon, you are cute.... nchris - how long can you keep nhello george , your our nbelching,farting and being please lou!!! occasion, is she hard to get - or ncha in 66, it is getting cold, the bet??? 18th december is a favourite friendly giant sick at the ram - you will have nno face sucking in public just lazy? shouldn’t you be wearing your long time away!! nwrfc - where have you all to start scrathing your balls luly!!!!!!! nps: who’s the tall ginger one? mittens???the’ll be snug!!!! nr: i know you love me ‘cos gone?!!! next time mavis ; b.b. nhmmm, duff. or is it hmmm, what a babe! ntom, the vice chancellor, are i’ve got a d-reg black mini. b. nat least christian can’t knock nbeware of vibrating tiggers line freshness ngoing to the ram again, can i you still drinking that orange n”and i think knives are a good himself out on bourne 3’s toast- and uneven pavements in deep- nclaire, it’s only wk 9 and spew too chew? juice or has the will power idea - big, f**k-off shiny ones.” er now he’s got his mum to est hampshire. nice. you’ve already helped me so ncryin’ cox, dry your tears and gone?!?! n”i have a very long look after him. nfor f!%ks sake it said f!%king much. if there’s anything i can try the sp test! nginny’s legendary ‘throat- passage”nsomething about a ni have ways of getting to you platform 10. f!%k, or was it 9? do...! su.xx n big brown nut hare - beware burners’ should be made illegal. bunny painting that was forged even if i dont live here any njan and carl- you know we nbrad, chin up mate, the end the farmers gun; quincy never nwho lives in a hose? has no h in manchester? - clifford. more. ha ha ha ha love you. how’s about it? will soon be in sight! misses! in his name? and surname nemma - the true horner girl!! nclaire, mind you don’t fall off npervy petie you make me nttl - must try harder n zammo spelling lessons rhymes with loos? nshe’s horner, she’s horner, the chair this christmas! soooooooo horny. from laura. nhell - a tee-totaler who does- number 1. “whhoueeill”. but n5,6,7,8??? m&c? she’s horner, horner, horner!!!! nif you see someone with his nchris + dom, the pervert con- n’t drive! where is the monkey? cliffy. noi ! give me your cds back ntracey - where is your car? head in the railings holding a querers npetie the smelly pervert wash n hawkinson - i saw an abstract nb.j., your london’s burning nmichelle - is your ‘man’ still train door, call him chris- nanyone want to sell speakers your crusty pyjamas as we all the other day that might interest audition is booked. test one: the in the cupboard? tiannboycot tesco, the trolley to two dim mechies - contact noticed they you. fireman’s lift. nrachel my dearest cherub- tight bastards. do they want our jez or chris were stained at the fire drill. nwrfc - training - does it nadam? when are you going to evil tokens of the devil may custom? nliquid cooled - bargain at 250 love house 59+60 uc. exist???? start playing for the other team? hamper us but true love will nhope all the pink ladies are quid - think we’ll have one (?) nwarning!!! pink and fluffi- nwrfc - thrashed before, but we nirish,baileys,loud birds do win through... getting their sleep and have each ness is catching! can still fight back (we just lunch again monday? nsexyfox jo, as jy oud word bought their stockings for “the njez and chris : what a thick nmale needed for cold nights need ateam) neli - ein mann darf dein leben kry jy slimmer en nog mooier. 13th” couple ! in large room - contact helen nand, with a kink in it ! nicht bestimmen!!! stefan. nlike a love machine, walking nto richard, thank you for tak- nyoung male found for cold ntom, have you seen wendy neli and sarah - we love you nrejoice for emma can breath through your door...... ing us three nurses home on nights in small room! recently or a really big moon- nhas claire turned ‘the angel’ once more, which is good nthe susan and karl situation monday night, you nis the young male for commu- er???house 66 has got into a drunk? because she can suck-start a continues in hse 47, stay stuck nare a star, we’ll buy you a pint nal use, la poubelle? you!!!!! nblair - wasn’t the cricket good harley. to that screen! if we see you at the bar. nduracell bunny’s training ncookie monster has no hair, last week (daden hunt) nhello to all those dodgy birds nnikos ella,ella!!!!!!!!! nchris b: i won’t be happy kills!! eats corned beef hash and has a nmatt, get drunk at least once in that dodgy restaurant! nunlike you to drop balls, kelv. unless we can make it thru this nc’mon u wimps! funny laugh but we love you, this year ndepressed?moi? - the angel nif you want to check the size year together. i’m with you! nnorwich blond bloke....happy from 66!! ngive the sailing club a b****y nclaireryna-when ya gonna of your tank make sure you`ve su.xx 20th birthday on the 10th! nto 58 s**t head, see you at bus! (please). pull-the angel got a canister with you ntoo much simpsons, never nthat wasn’t a bomb blast in next years grand prix. i’ll be ngonzo!,take those lemons out nangela - have you seen any- nyou should not park on a nthe library reasurant would bellfields, that was us shouting waiting with my fiver!! of your nostrils! thing interesting on your flan- roundabout to get some like to see more people on a sat- at each other! nTo all the Surrey stingers. n”multi flavoured vodka shop nel reacently!!! fish`n`chips urday (10 till 2) na-m you are still my angel...i Good luck against Bristol. opening one day only, some- nkeep your hands to yourself, nmr ben’s friends have an infe- ndodgy blood, there is a house love you babe. Smash them to pieces, Sandy time in december” especially in the queue for rior wrist action full of it ndaa - love you loads!!!! (The Dropout) nhi to all in hse47 last yr...miss nal do you have nothing to do ngarry and vicky are you still nHappy 21st Birthday Alex Crossword No 83 from all your pals Notices Change Ringers AGM Child Care Thursday 12th november at 18.30 in TB23 Help required with care of three school children age 13, 9, 5 Law Society AGM Tuesday 10th November 20.00 in for three days weekly term time and/or holidays. Car owner the Grant Mitchell Room essential. Headley Down. (01428) 714 634 Canoe Club AGM Tuesday 10th November 13.00 Student Parking Hari’s Bar Parking around Guildford is notoriously difficult. Recently MACS Society AGM - Friday 13 Nov. LTH 12.00 Students have been squashing their cars into St Johns road. University of Surrey Lesbian,Gay and Bisexual This unfortunately has led to drives being blocked, emer- Society meetings every gency access routes cut off. Those living in St Johns Road are Tuesday 8pm, TB20b, or e-mail [email protected] for fur- frequently unable to use their cars as they are parked in. This ther information is both a nuisance and incredibly inconvenient. Please show a Postgraduate Association Annual General little respect for the inhabitants of St Johns Road and park considerately. Meeting, Tuesday 10th November, 6pm, Wates House. Pool Society start up meeting 18.00 by the pool tables on Thursday 19th November Extreme Sports club - White Water Rafting Trip - Across Down Wednesday 11th November contact Hannah by pigeon hole. 1. Maybe (7) 1. Resentment (5) Also second parachuting course. 5. Premonition (5) 2. Kind of whiskey (3) 8. Peevish (9) 3. A sign of the zodiac (8) 9. Greedy eater (3) 4. Angry frowns (6) Lost - Yamaha FG411-E in black soft ‘Fender’ case. please 10. In a skilful way (8) 5. Dry outer covering (4) contact Mark Aplin ext 4250 email ph81ma - lots of senti- 12. Increase in size (4) 6. Inflammation of the kid- mental value - last seen outside NatWest bank. 14. Place of worship (6) neys (9) TAX CLINIC The next Tax Clinic will take place on 15. Talkative (6) 7. Public road (7) Wednesday 11th November from 12-2pm by the Bottle Bank 17. Summit (4) 11.Person being conveyed 18. Imagined (8) (9) in the Union. No appointments necessary - just turn up with 21. Evacuate (3) 13. Racing-dogs (8) your queries. 22. member of benevolent 14. To wind about (7) society (9) 16. Steering apparatus (6) COURSE REP TRAINING Apologies to any course reps 24. Rustic (5) 19.Bride’s gift to husband (5) who did not get an email about the course rep training that 25. Leisure period (4-3) 20. Mournful cry (4) was held earlier this week. The email server was down last 23. Cover (3) week, and returned my mail unsent a couple of days ago. Last weeks solution Gill Venables Across 1. comedy 4. spigot 8. winding 10. stare 11. records 12. If any one wants to buy a UniS ‘Choose SurreySport’ shirt mount 13. preferences 18. Megan 19. tightly 22 rumba 23 show- then please go into the sports office and sign the form. The man 24. oyster 25. spades cost will be £25 per polo shirt with £5 going towards the Down 1. coward 2. manic 3 drier 5. postman 6. granule 7. treaty Look out for the RAG mag on sale in the 9. gastritis 14. regimes 15. fanfare 16. embryo 17. hyenas 20. Colours ball. Union group 21. timidCompiled by Jeff Blackham ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 10 (1,1)

10 Features Thursday November 5 1998

Primary Colours The Importance of being Earnest Yvonne Arnaud Theatre Starring: John Travolta, Emma Thompson and For anyone who is illiterate, ‘The Importance of and laugh out loud amusement here in this play. Kathy Bates Being Earnest’ is one of the funnies, cleverest, Without giving too much away, the play is set in Directed by: Mike well written plays ever in the history of the Victorian times, it revolves around Ernest (John) Nichols world. Oscar Wilde’s play is suitably done jus- Worthing, trying to marry his beloved tice, in this production, currently in Guildford’s Gwendolen. But his valiant efforts run into prob- Primary Colours is a local theatre. Indeed Wilde said of the play him- lems, over his upbringing, and lack of knowledge light hearted, quasi- self, “The first act is ingenious, the second beau- of it. It is all resolved in the third act, when political account of a tiful, the third abominably clever¼(it is) exquis- Ernest’s history suddenly becomes apparent. The wannabe president’s itely trivial, a delicate. cast do the play excellent justice, and even if you journey through his are just a casual theatre go’er it is still an unmiss- election campaign. Few other playwrights have matched the Wit, able experience. Although it is fictional, it bears an uncanny sim- Game Review - Sin ilarity to Clinton’s life. Governor Stanton past. The other candidates who at first appear Publisher: able on the market. (Travolta) is a womanising utopian who tries to spotless, then find their bygone days coming Activision. win over the public with his charmed rhetoric. back to haunt them, leading it right to the wire Price: £34.99. Sin borrows heavily from both Quake 2 and Emma Thompson plays his wife. Together they over who will get elected. The humour in the Format: PC CD Tomb Raider 2, in the way that the level design is go on television shows, visit cities, for publicity film is quite like the ‘Larry Sanders show’, John similar to Quake 2 (i.e., lots of enclosed corridors etc. Travolta who has had some rocky times (look Due for release and rooms) and the vehicle usage and ‘think who’s talking) puts in an average performance, on Friday, this before you shoot’ puzzles is blatantly taken from All is going well until stories emerge, of the pres- good on the surface but not much depth. But the game is the lat- Lara Croft’s finest. In fact, it appears that ident’s affairs with his wife’s hairdresser. Kathy film is unexceptional, but not bad. It tries to get est offering Activision have used similar marketing for Sin, Bates plays a dirt buster sent to clear the gover- across the value of policies over sensationalist from Ritual with posters everywhere for the product depicting nor’s name, which he then does. The film then privacy invasions but it only does this in a dilut- Entertainment a well-endowed computer generated woman in a turns into a moralistic trudge though peoples ed, half-hearted way. and Activision. skimpy outfit. While this method of advertising Based on the may have worked previously, I would like to Small Soldiers hugely suc- think that we have all grown up now. Just be glad cessful Quake 2 engine, it tries to persuade the you don’t see the cheesy promotional material. Starring: Gregory Smith as Alan Abernathy, amusing. If anything, the film tries to prove that games buying public out there that there is some- Kirsten Dunst as Christy Fimple. With the voice even if an enemy seems superior they can be thing new available. However, it doesn’t really In terms of the game itself, it doesn’t present any- of Tommy Lee Jones as Chip Hazard. Directed beaten. work. thing new. With the release of Half-Life just by Joe Dante. around the corner, there will soon be much better Unlike Toy Story, from which a large amount of The game is designed around the idea that Elexis games to spend your 35 quid on. Sin doesn’t The Universal rating of this film is no excuse to parallels can be drawn, this film includes real Sinclaire, head of the Sintek Corporation, is con- deserve to do well, but unfortunately probably will avoid seeing it; it is definitely not just for the actors and scenes combined with stop-motion ducting immoral and illegal experiments on the because of the huge marketing hype behind it. kids. The plot is based on a military company animation and large amounts of computer-gener- Citizens of Freeport with a DNA altering drug. buying a toy company to increase the chairman’s ated graphics. All the different technologies are You, as Commander John Blade, are to find her In my opinion, don’t buy it. Save your money to already vast empire. He decides to use military integrated seamlessly and flawlessly. The whole and make her pay. The game does a good job of go down the Union and get pissed. You’ll have technology to create a new range of toys that play film is superbly crafted. Part of the beauty of the setting the scene, with cutscenes created in- more fun... back when you play with them. The Gorgonites film is that you don’t notice that the special game. The engine also allows use of other vehi- are created to learn and explore, and the Marines effects are effects. cles as the game requires. Although this provides Grade: D - Use the CD as a coaster. Marker: are to wipe the aliens out. some interesting effects, it still does not differen- Gareth Harmer. Although the human casting is a bit weak at tiate it enough from other games already avail- The film plays on the ideas of military brutality. times, the animated characters are superbly done, The way in which the Marines use household and definitely add to the film’s realism and items to create weapons is definitely like some- believability. Unfortunately it is unlikely to do as thing out of the A Team. The part in which they well as Toy Story, but deserves to do well at the animate a group of Barbie Dolls is also highly cinemas. 9/10 Gareth Harmer The Exorcist

”Compared with some of today’s offerings, in ally striking, very tense in places, and the story is terms of violence and shock factor, this film is coherent and utterly original. Mark Kermode, the positively mild and would only have warranted a Radio One film critic, called this the best film 15 at most. In terms of scaring the crap out of you ever made - I agree it’s good, and definitely in a more subconscious way, then yes, I can worth a look, but not as good as to justify all the begin to see why it was banned for such a long hype and myths that years of censorship create. time. It does get you thinking why evil is so evi- A quick warning for all those who hold a cruci- dent and yet all that stands in the way of one girls fix and what it stands for dear -you’ll find one possession by the great unclean one is one half- scene very offensive. Depressing and claustro- dead priest, one priest that doesn’t believe in phobic, but on the whole, a damn fine film. God, and a job-lot of holy water. The film is visu- 7/10.” A Grand Day Out for the Pride of Surrey First Past The Post There was no game for the magnificent machine sure-fire winner appeared to be letting Bucks Spotlight on Horse Racing by Eddie Heardman that is the University of Surrey rugby club last stand in the queue and then getting everyone to What has happened over the last week in the announced this week that she has been fighting Saturday so fourteen of us made the journey up place their order through him! When we had all world of horse racing? Escartefigue proved a big cancer of the thyroid gland. A malignant growth to London to watch how the game should be returned to our seats with food and drink we disappointment at Wetherby, trailing fourth to the was detected last December, but it was not until played in the form of London Scottish against the informed the players that they could restart the veteran Strath Royal, a performance which has July this year that a cancer was confirmed. All premiership leaders Bath. The day (it must be game at their convenience. Bath were obviously seen the former’s odds for the Cheltenham Gold associated with racing are keeping their fingers said) was not conducive to a spectacle of running listening as they camped on London Scottish’s Cup lengthen to 10’s. Keep an eye out for crossed. rugby, much like the inside of a cave it was cold, five metre line through a seemingly never ending Navarre Samson, a promising novice hurdler wet and dark. London Scottish began the game in onslaught of scrimmaging, coupled with shouts who completed a four-timer here. Paddy’s Return Coming up over the next few days, is the true fighting style and took an early 7 - 0 lead from the crowd of “F**K ME! Look how low that probably needed the run when finishing second Breeder’s Cup in the USA. In the mile race, through a well worked try which just happened to scrum is!” Not perhaps the most attractive aspect as a hot favourite on his first showing over fences Newmarket-trained Desert Prince (5/2) is expect- be scored right in front of where we were sitting. of rugby to watch for ten minutes, but when Bath at Ascot. Also at Ascot, Jamie Osborne returned ed to carry the European flag, a view confirmed The bagpipes! (situated in the stand behind us) eventually scored all the forwards (especially AJ to the saddle following a serious injury last by the French jockey, Oliver Peslier, who has went mental and proceeded not to shut up for the and Myself) could empathise with how shagged November, and then the suspension of his license already won the Derby and the Arc de Triomphe rest of the first half, much to the Hound’s annoy- out all the players would have been feeling! pending race-fixing allegations. Charges were this summer. The last big flat race of the year in ance! Vocal support from our group was ever London Scottish then kicked another penalty and made dropped, and he made his reappearance in some this country, the mile-and-a-half November present as Munday frequently told the players (in the score 13 - 11 in their favour. Major stress occurred style, winning the John Durkan Memorial Chase Handicap, will be run at Doncaster on Saturday. a friendly way) what he thought of them and how for all the home supporters when Bath had two penal- on Coome Hill, now down at 20’s for the Grand Perennially injured Dato Star has been placed on they should be playing the game! ties in the dying minutes of the game, but as Mike Catt National, and 16’s for the Gold Cup. This victo- both his previous runs in this, and makes his bid Bath brought themselves back into the game shows for England, his kicking ability is just as sturdy as ry was particularly poignant, since Osborne and for third time lucky at odds of 10-1, despite being through some hard and determined play, Mike it ever was!!! Durkan were good friends prior to his death from more known these days for his hurdling ability. If Catt kicked two penalties and the half time score So, it was a memorable win for London Scottish, leukaemia earlier this year. his body holds up, we may even be seeing this read: London Scottish 10, Bath 6. Various theo- an enjoyable day out for all those who went horse attempting the larger obstacles by the end ries were produced concerning the best way to (even if it was bloody freezing!) and an even On the same vein, Jenny Pitman, famed for being of the season. acquire one’s food at the half time interval, the more enjoyable evening??? The Boy Davis. the first woman to train a Grand National winner, ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 11 (1,1)

Thursday November 5 1998 Surrey Pride 11

Surrey Pride Star Profile Miracles Come in Three’s - Merrow A 3 University GI Res 5 Number 3, Ben Davis As the rain poured dramatically down onto mole to the melting pot, and the arrival of the similarly long range effort after all the hard the tortured Guildford traffic, the Graduate referee was cheered with a relief that indicat- work had been done by the striking partner- Vital Stats; and Industrial year reserve side left the Car ed I was not alone in my original concerns. ship. With the half-time score at 3-1 we were Age: 21 Park 1 meeting place convinced that the never in any danger of losing this one! Dept:LIS (Lewinsky game would be unceremoniously abandoned With a pitch inspection revealing a surpris- International Stud) once the referee arrived at our East Horsley ingly immaculate pitch given the rain, the The second half introduction of Schoolboy Nicknames: ‘Boy destination. Of course, we had to get there as game began at a furious pace with both sides Delvin (for the Wise Olde Sage) and Bins Davis’, ‘Boy D’, well. Arriving at the 12.30 congregation I eager to gain an early advantage. It was Bryant (for Ian ‘Do you need me Saturday? - ‘Benji’, ‘Monika’ was saddened to note the absence of three Merrow who threatened first and indeed took Of course we bloody do’ Morton) settled a Measurements: players who had confirmed their availability the lead as their aged striker raced between tiring University side before Jackanory Fagan 5’11, 13.5 stone for the fixture. Jumping automobiles to join Yannis and Pissboy Cake to ripple the back of converted a 75th minute penalty to settle the (ooof!) familiar chiseller Andy ‘I’m staying in to the net with the freshly propelled synthetic game (No Spooner you’re not having a hat- Sporting Interests: grout the bathroom tiles’ Davey for a dozen spheroid. Surrey, however, were not about to trick!). Despite two further goals from Rugby mainly, but all rounds of ‘It never happened in my day’ we let some arthritic clogger going through the Merrow (we’ll not mention it, Bob!) the sports really stopped by the Mansion to pick up a kit and a male menopause to spoil their day. A guttur- game had been wrapped up 5 minutes from confused ginga bloke. al cry from the bowels of the irrepressible the whistle as the third of the days miracles Marital Status: Married (First gentleman of the Union) lion at the heart of the Surrey Pride issued occurred. Following Bryant’s repeated Finally arriving at Kingston Meadow after forth from the whole team as we strode con- attempts to score from a corner with his knee, Personal Info; panicked mobile phone conversations and fidently back into the game. the ball fell kindly to yours truly who did his What is your favourite feature? Don’t know, some outrageous driving from the Battery utmost to break the back of the net with a maybe eyes. Fed Pinkie, the oppo were pleased to The boy Blomfelt looked supernaturally busy venomous strike from, ooh, must have been What do you go for in a woman? Obviously, this announce that the game was mostly likely to (urine samples were taken for toxicological about a yard. Final score 5-3 and as yet answer will be edited anyway, so I’ll just say honesty and be ‘on’ but the ref hadn’t arrived as yet. investigation!) as he whizzed about the park unconfirmed rumours from the oppo’s dress- someone who’s not afraid to be themselves (bit paranoid Unwilling as I was to play a League game leaving Barrel Belly Babbs to do the simple ing room that the result leaves Brucie’s Ben? - Sports Ed.) with some local Pikey deciding whether or stuff. Within 10 minutes the pair had neatly Learned Elder Brothers at the top of the table. Favourite Drink? Definitely beer not the grunting centre back was trying to set up a brace of 4 yard tap-ins for Spooner Favourite Food? Steak and Chips play the ball as he ritually confined most of with fine running and crosses from the by- What followed was a mammoth Saturday Favourite Music? Absolutely anything our team to wheelchairs, the thought of line. The Gods were obviously smiling on us night session with the Boy Sumner joining in telling the squad that for the second week with this miracle of finishing prowess from the celebs and his alias, Cliffy’s little brother, Sporting Info: running they had driven from all corners of the man with all the usual precision of a getting absolutely ruined despite the best What does Surrey Sport give you? An excellent the South East to be turned away in the car nuclear attack on an ant hill and they felt they attempts of Canon Fodder Cake to dampen University lifestyle park was a little too much for me. The chang- had more to prove. Next on the scoresheet his spirits. Big Brother What is your; ing room banter flowed at its usual electric was the perennial Randy ‘I’ve got a knock most memorable moment in Surrey Sport? Either pace, fuelled by the addition of the myopic but should be OK next week’ Davey with a beating Queen Mary’s in the BUSA quarter final by a penalty try in my first year or scoring a solo try from our 10 UniS Top of the Big League By Mustapha Rally Surrey Angel metre line last season. UniS 5 - 0 Lee on Solent (to the tune of the Robbie Williams classic) funniest moment you can recall from your days at UniSquash have progressed probably have settled for a 4-1 win Surrey? This year; standing naked in the Varsity, downing through the second round of the and an early retirement to refresh- I sit and wait, a pint in front of the netball birds with my Club tie tied National Squash League without ment. It was always going to be a around my Presidential election poll (courtesy of Meharg Surrey Angel contemplates my fate, knowing what it is like for an oppo- tough match anyway. John Russell And does She know, and AJ). nent to win a match! With three of and Lisa were the only players to most embarrassing moment? pulling in Bo’s The places where I’ll go, the players from game one unavail- have played in the first match. John When I leave her fold? only to get the unfortunate bird home and find I am com- able due to World Tour commit- had played at No 3 and had been pletely incapapble of performing any service with the Cos I have been told, ments, it was a big test for some of the only one to drop a game. His Graduation, sometimes breaks Her hold. exception of totally passing out. the younger and perhaps less-fan- opponent, Nathan Dugan is ranked worst injury? I nearly broke my neck in my first year So I am proving to myself, cied players. 16 in England and 56 in the World I can’t love no one else, (nice!) – a massive 40 places higher than Do you have any sporting superstitions? Never And when I feel there’s nothing left, Ross Norman played his first John. The first two games went I’m loving Surrey to death. wash your smalls when you’re winning! game for the team at No 4. Ross with the predicted form 15/12 & How does Surrey Sport affect your Social/Private life? was World Champion in 1989. 15/3 and it looked like a formality, It’s made it definitely better. Cos when She sings, Now 37 and having been out of but John dug deep in his ample She brings Surrey to my dreaming, Is sex better before or after sport? Better in the White Squash, injured, for nine months he reserves to grit out the third game House (the pub, of course - Sports Ed.) And wakes me from my sleep-in, stormed through to beat 19 year-old by the odd point. When he won the And fills my life with Pride. Who is your sporting role model? Probably a mixture Joe Russell 3-0. Ross, from New fourth game in less than five min- of Lawrence Dallagio, Rob Andrews and Peter Each and every dawn, Zealand has had a huge following utes dropping only 4 points, it was Cathedral bells are ringing, Winterbottom (what a handsome combination) and has been playing for a number obvious that a major upset was on Which sports personality would you most like to meet? Below the Angel singing, of years in this country. He was cer- the cards. Five minutes later and it “I’m Surrey Till I Die” Michael Jordan tainly a big attraction for most of was all over. Perhaps it was the Sum yourself up in 3 words? The Boy Davis There’s no escaping.... the 200-strong gallery. At the same pressure, or the long rallies of the I’m loving Surrey tonight. Alex Sutherland’s nominated question; Does size matter time, Neil Frankland was beating first two games, a gruelling pro- in sport? Only in my sport (rugby), lucky for you that Alter a much-fancied Stacey Ross 3-0 gramme of Squash matches or con- plays golf eh Alex? When I’m feeling weak, playing at No 2. This was a partic- cern for those of us who had had At the Varsity and can hardly speak, Now that you are a Star of the Pride, which question ularly good win for Neil in his first nothing to eat for the previous 10 would you like added to the profile list for next weeks I look above, match for UniS as Stacey is a for- hours and who could smell the And I know She’ll always give me enough, Star? Are obesity and unfitness an issue in the sport of mer British Under16 Champion lasagne crisping in the ovens. hockey (Are they a problem in Rugby, Ben, more to the Till the final whistle blows, and looked very strong. Another Whatever the reason, the match had And through my body flows, point? - Ben M - refering to blatant purgery in ‘measure- player making his debut was Eric ended 5-0 to Guildford and the ments’ answer) Blue and Yellow blood, McAlpine. He dropped the first spectators left shaking their heads I’m loving Surrey for good. Cheers Ben and a fine question to test the imagination game before charging through the and wondering who would be the of fellow Sports Exec and Hockey Club Captain next three against Gareth Webber. first to take games off this new Shuffler Russel in next week’s profile. Boy D had to Cos when She sings, Gareth is the current Hampshire team on the scene. The full league She makes me feel like crying, leave somewhat unexpectedly following his interview as Champion, and has just graduated tables are printed below. It must be he was due to appear before the Starr Commission to My Surrey wings are flying, from UWIC who took the brunt of rewarding for NTL CableTel to see Up high into the Pride. answer questions about his entanglements in the Oval our first involvement in the the team riding so high when they office (ahem!). And when I’m feeling down, National League during the last came into the programme initially She lifts me to the ceiling, match two weeks ago. Lisa Opie not really knowing how well we And gives me back the feeling, was next up. The format of these would be able to do in this, the That I’m Surrey Till I Die, matches is four men and a woman. toughest Squash League in the And keep believing... Her opponent was 17 year old World. I’m loving the Surrey Pride. Dominique Lloyd-Walter who was Next match – away at Chichester, determined to make Lisa play for transport available – Tuesday Cos when she sings, every point. A former British November 10th 1998. (The away I feel my spirit rising, Champion , Lisa had to call on games after Christmas are Cardiff The lion in me fighting, every ounce of willpower and and Exeter, so if you are likely to Forever Surrey Pride. courtcraft to edge out her opponent want to go, Chichester is the one!) Till Colours Ball, in a tough five setter. Contact Jacquie on Ext.9242 if you Keep that winning feeling, are at all interested or want to know Never stop believing, This meant the match stood at 4-0 more. You are promised a fabulous You’re Part of Surrey Pride, with the No 1 players yet to play. evenings’ entertainment. The only There’s no reliving, The faithful supporters who had home match before Christmas is Surrey Until You Die. travelled from Guildford would Tuesday November 24th. Cliffy ed981105.qxd 04/11/98 20:06 Page 12 (1,1)

Surrey Pride Surrey Pride Goes Downhill!!!!!!! “Netballers do it in any position!” Whilst several of Saturday’s fixtures were she was referring to her fleece and tracksuit Whilst the Rugby, Football and Hockey washed out due to huge amounts of rain, the trousers ! The game started and we were sur- clubs may be able to boast trophy rooms netball team proved that they were “harder” prised and happy to see that they only had five bursting with silverware, Surrey now has a than members of other inferior teams (mens players, two of them having the sense to decide new club looking for a bit of room in a tro- hockey, football etc) and braved the weather to that netball on a Saturday morning in torrential phy cabinet. Following a three year absence continue their (almost) unbeaten run in the rain was not a good idea. Surrey made the most from competitions, conditions peaked on Guildford netball league. On turning up out- of their lack of players and decided to show Halloween, with a force 5 gale blowing and side campusport it quickly became obvious who them what real netball was all about. At half torrential rain falling the time had finally had been to FNO and who had not, it still time the score was 42-10 thanks to some excel- arrived for Surrey Pride to take a flying leap remains a mystery why our club captain needed lent dodging and attacking manoeuvres (obvi- downhill under the disguise of the Ski Club. picking up in the middle of town and not at her ously learned on the dance floor the previous The past 8 weeks have seen the Ski (soon to house on the Chase. night !) and it was decided that we would claim be renamed Ski & Snowboard) Club fly into Since it was nearly Halloween it was concluded the match and play the rest as a friendly despite action faster than Eddie the Eagle could get The UniS ski team on piste that she had been carried off by an evil spirit the fact that this meant forfeiting the opportuni- knocked out of an Olympic ski jumping com- very first race of the evening against Kent 1. This despite protest that she had only been to the ty to score our first “100”. The teams were petition. Starting with over 200 people sign up at wouldn’t have been such a problem was it not for bank and her car had broken down mixed and positions drawn out randomly, not the Sports Fayre (sucked in by the offer of a very the fact that (a) Half the team hadn’t even had a (Hmmmmmmm...... ) After arriving at the only did this make it closer but it also proved prestigious freebie car sticker) the serious business warm up run. (b) Sacha (our gallant Race Captain) school and wading through a marsh to find the the theory that “netballers can do it in any posi- of running a sports club was launched into action. was still inside putting his boots on. (d) Caroline courts we searched unsuccessfully for our oppo- tion” ! By the time the final whistle went we A trip to the Ram, a pub crawl round Guildford and was having second thoughts about being in the first nents before deciding that they had stayed in were all soaked, freezing and vowing never to numerous meals at Burger King were all part of the team and point blank refused to go down! And (d) bed. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case, they stay out late on a Friday night again (until next strict training regime undertaken by the Ski Club. We had absolutely no idea what the hell was going were merely sheltering nearby and we resigned week.....). Many thanks to all who played, to Jo on anyway! So with a few minor tweaks to the ourselves to the catch that we were going to for her excellent umpiring and to those who Due to a lack of (a) Snow and (b) Mountains in the team, off Surrey went to come a brave second (out have to play. Lisa announced that she didn’t drove, we’ll wash the mud off your cars some- Surrey countryside, skiing takes place on a Sunday of 2) in our first race. Things did, however, pick up like “playing in clothes” when it was raining, time ! in Guildford for beginners, on a Monday at High considerably after this with Surrey 1 beating this confused some of us until we realised that The Ex Team Slapper Wycombe for everyone and on a Thursday at Brighton 1 in our second race and managing to Bracknell for the really keen ones. Thanks to some come 11th out of 26 overall. With a ranking above Surrey Students Increase Pressure on Eddie George’s Men gentle persuasion from the newly appointed race teams from Cambridge, Brighton, Southampton, captain (this position was given to the fastest, Reading, UCL and quite a few others, as far as we Uni of Surrey 2nd XI 3 Bank of England 2nd XI 0 bravest and arguably maddest skier on the last ski were concerned 11th was a stunning first round holiday), a bit of victory considering our 3 year break from compe- Following last weeks “war and Peacesque game camped on the opposition’s 25 Yard line. training from the titions. saga” this weeks report is decidedly shorter. Our goals came from Mikey “we love you” P British Ski The monsoon hit Fortress Varsity became even (another top draw goal), Tom “Heartbreak” Academy and sev- The pride doesn’t end there however. Surrey 2 also more secure than usual, as on Saturday we had, Heenan a deflection from a powerful drive in eral pints of Stella put up a good fight (especially considering none of following the down pour, managed to construct the “D”, and Jason “1” Rogers that the keeper forcing the words the team had ever been down a racecourse in their a crude though effective moat in an attempt to was unlucky to not save. “Yer I’m up for lives before!) and finished a very respectable 19th. repel the invaders. that” out of a few Whilst Surrey can now hold our head up high in The fact that the game’s scorers are 1st XI play- people, all of a sud- the stuck up world of skiing, we can be even For the second week we were forced to wear ers did not go unnoticed to the opposition, who den Surrey had prouder of the fact that out of the 26 teams entered the ladies kits, due to the Bank not bringing an must have thought this an unfair policy of the itself a Ski Race our 2 teams were the very last to leave the pub away strip. As this impromptu meeting of trans- Badger’s. However we did draw a great deal Team! Once the where the post-race celebrations were taking sexual soc got underway I was concerned that from this game as the discipline that our “New team had been place! this was the most visually damaging meeting of guys” brought to the game is a lesson to all in Almost too fast for the camera selected the next any society in Surrey’s history. There was how- marking, passing etc. All in all a fine victory, step was simply Before making the journey back to Essex for the ever no time to dwell as despite the fact that I and a welcome respite from our BUSA cam- to fling ourselves down a ski slope, zig zag round second round, the ski club are also going to the had not finished applying varnish to my nails, paign. Congratulations to Ben “Lewinsky” a few poles and get to the bar before we had a BUSC (British University Ski Club) championship and that Badger was “mid-wax” on the removal Davis who appears to finally have become the chance to realise what the hell we were doing. in Edinburgh in a few weeks. A considerable of his Bikini line, the rain forced an early start. President’s favourite intern (I personally amount of training is inevitable before this, start- thought you would have got into the “Oval” After the years of waiting, the moment of truth ing with a Ski Club Social at the Outrage Despite the scoreline of 3-0 Surrey completely office next year anyway). finally arrived at 7pm on Halloween at a ski slope Snowboard Party in the Union. If anyone would dominated this match, spending most of the Kenneth Starr somewhere in Essex on possibly the most miser- like to know more about the ski club or wants to able, wettest night of the year so far. With the pop- join then give Ewen a call on 4354 or send us an The University of Surrey Shotokan Karate Club ularity of the ski club allowed Surrey to enter not email at [email protected]. Oh and if anyone Hello there, maybe you saw the short demo of and reach for the ultimate goal of perfection. As just one team but a staggering two teams (the real wants to come on the Ski Trip to Val D’Isere in Karate at Sports Fair or maybe you came over well as improving your co-ordination, confi- reasons for this were (a) So the First Team felt January or wants to know more about it then get in to the Karate club stand and had a chat. If you dence and fitness you’ll find that these qualities important and could tell all their friends they are in touch with us real soon as the places are filling up ever thought that you were interested in Karate, can be transferred into other aspects of your “the First Team” and (b) So that the First Team had faster than our race captain can put his boots on you didn’t make it to Sports Fair, you’re a bit life. The most important principle for training, some hope of beating at least one other team!), the and stagger to the top of the slope only to realise unsure about the whole thing or you simply for- however, is spirit. Karate is a trial of mind and intrepid 10 set off for the first round of the London he’s missed the first two races! got then come along and watch one of our body and therefore is also a form of philosophy. & South East, Kings Ski Club training sessions; no obligations. You can find Our instructors Steve Prince and Phil Reid have Competition. Having been assured by us in Teaching Block room 10 on Monday over 50 years of experience between them; the organisers of the light hearted from 8pm to 9:30 pm and on Wednesdays we’re Steve recently achieved his 4th dan (degree) nature of the competition, it was with in the Main Hall at Campusport from 7:30pm black belt - a very high accolade. Steve is an some surprise that we arrived to find to 9:20pm. `old boy’, he began Karate when he was like Oxford, Cambridge, UCL, Reading, you, studying at the University for his degree. Kent and in fact most of the others all There are many different styles of Karate and At the moment we have a good mix of grades sporting matching outfits, several lay- Shotokan is one of the oldest and most popular. in the club and we do our best to cater for ers of protective padding, fancy hel- So no matter where you go in the world you everyone. mets, shiny looking skis and boots will be able to find somewhere to practice. Hopefully, all this talk of fitness, confidence and just generally looking shit hot! Classes start with basic training exercises and philosophy has intrigued you, so all that which develop into more complicated forms as remains is for me to once again invite you to With 26 teams entered somehow your ability progresses. Progression is the key come along to one of our classes and find out Surrey 1 managed to be called for the Surrey Skiers last to leave the piste celebratios. word here as at every stage you’ll be encour- for yourself more about our art. aged (and given a helpful push) to improve BUSA - Results - Wednesday 28/10/98 results netball 2nd v Portmouth 30 23 mens football 1st xi v Portsmouth 0 5 mens rugby 1st xv v Sussex 13 29 mens football 2nd xi v St.maty’s 0 4 mens rugby 2nd xv v Sussex 34 24 mens football 3rd xi v Chichester 0 4 womens rubgy v Brighton 0 60 mens football 4th xi v Southampton 1 7 mens squash 1st v So’tin institute `4 1 mens badminton 1st v So’tin institute 8 1 mens squash 2nd v Reading 0 5 womens badminton v Kingston 6 3 womens squash v Southampton w/o to Surrey mens fencing v Southampton 11 16 mens volleyball v Sussex 3 0 mens hockey 1st v Bouremouth 3 4 womens volleyball v Brighton 1 3 mens hockey 2nd v Reading 0 8 mens tennis v St. mary’s 1 5 womens hockey 1st v S o’tin institute 5 3 womens tennis v Southampton 0 6