The Western View of the Self Psychotherapy • Emphasis on separateness vs. Without a Self Anatta connection to family, tribe, nature, etc. • Healthy (Western) development: Ronald D. Siegel . Individuated . Aware of Boundaries . Knowing one’s needs . Clear identity and sense of self
Narcissism in Western Narcissism in Buddhist Therapeutic Benefits of Psychology Psychology Glimpsing Anatta • DSM • We suffer when we don’t know who we 1. Increased affect tolerance . Character disorder really are • Behavior therapy 2. Radical acceptance of parts . Self efficacy • Attempt to buttress self is central cause 3. Freedom from self-esteem concerns • Psychodynamic psychotherapy of suffering . Healthy narcissism or self esteem 4. Deeper connection to others • Our concept of “self” is based on a fundamental misunderstanding
Thinking Homunculus? Default Mode Network
1 Constructing “Me” Sense Contact Perception • Identity is a • Coming together of construction project . Sense organ • Evaluates sense • Mind is a world- . Sense object experience building organ . Awareness of object . Conditioned by . Makes order out of • Six senses culture and language chaos . Seeing • Constructs and . Constructs reality . Hearing categorizes from data streaming . Smelling in at break-neck . Resolves ambiguity speed . Tasting . Touching . Thinking
Feeling Intention and Disposition Where do I Begin and End?
• We add an affective • We try to or hedonic tone to . Hold onto the pleasant all experience . Push away the unpleasant . Pleasant . Ignore the neutral . Unpleasant • We develop habits of intention . Neutral . Dispositions . Learned behaviors or conditioned responses . Identity or personality characteristics
Superorganism The Construction of Experience Who Am I? • Two types of self-reference Intention
. Narrative focus (NF) Feeling Perception • Enduring traits • Talking to ourselves about ourselves Consciousness . Experiential focus (EF) • Moment-to-moment experience Sense Organ Sense Object • The mind-body in action
2 Medial Prefrontal Cortex The Study The Results (mPFC) • Links subjective • Half of subjects engaged in 8 week MBSR • In novices, experiential focus (EF) reduced experiences across course, half on wait list self-referential activity in medial prefrontal time cortex (mPFC) • Holds memory of • All trained in narrative focus (NF) and . Self traits experiential focus (EF) modes of responding . Traits of similar to adjectives • In MBSR participants, EF resulted in more others marked and pervasive reduced activity in . Reflected self- mPFC, along with increased engagement in • All asked to do each approach while in fMRI knowledge several other areas . Future aspirations scanner
The Conclusion To study Buddhism is to study the self. No one Home
• There is a fundamental neural dissociation To study the self is to forget the self. • Continuous flow of between two forms of self-awareness: To forget the self is to be enlightened by all moment-to-moment experience . The self across time things. . The unfolding of moment-to-moment experience in . New “self” born and the present moment To be enlightened by all things is to be free dies each moment • Mindfulness practice enables us to see these from attachment to the body and mind of • Not even a stable as separate one's self and of others. witness . To see how the separate “self” is created out of a . Just impersonal narrative -- Dogen 13th Century experience unfolding
A human being is part of the whole called by us universe ... We Nargarguna experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison Thus neither self nor non-self 1) Affect Tolerance for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to Are to be apprehended as real. affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by Therefore the Great Subduer rejected widening our circle of compassion to embrace all Views of self and of non-self. living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self.
3 And I, Sir, Can Be Run Not Knowing Selfing & Affect Tolerance Through with a Sword • Not “my,” but “the”
. Anger . Sadness . Fear . Joy . Lust
Beginner’s Mind Our Polytheistic Mind
2) Acceptance of Parts
How Was Your Meditation? Jung’s Shadow We’re all Bozos on this Bus
• Dandelions in a field • Part trying to attend to • We identify with some the breath • Not a path to perfection, but a path to parts while rejecting • Part fantasizing about others wholeness the future • Boundary of what we can accept in • Part judging myself • We become defensive ourselves is the boundary of our • Ask the committee! when shadow is illuminated freedom – Zen Patriarch
4 Self-Evaluation The Trance of Unworthiness
• Eastern meditation teachers are surprised by Western self-criticism 3) Freedom from Self-Esteem Concerns • Anxiety is primal mood of the separate self (Tara Brach)
• Related to Western cultural emphasis on the separate self
What Realms Define Me? Lake Wobegon The Failure of Success
• Skills & Talents • The pain of I, me, me, mine • Accomplishments Where all the women are strong, all the • Pedigree or Group men are good looking, and all the • Narcissistic recalibration Membership children are above average. • Moral Standing • Impossibility of winning consistently • Appearance
Wrong Wall? It’s Getting Worse As If by an Unseen Hand
• Adaptive value to identifying with “self” . Evolved through natural selection . Self-preservation and promotion instinct shared by other animals
5 Egos Inflating Over Time: A Cross‐Temporal Narcissistic Personality Meta‐Analysis of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory Inventory Suffering in Isolation • I just want to be reasonably happy • If we’re not happy, it’s our fault • I want to amount to something in the eyes of the world . Failure to buy the right consumer product • If I ruled the world it would be a better place . Inherent weakness • The thought of ruling the world scares the hell out of me
• I am much like everybody else • Psychiatric diagnostic system can • I am an extraordinary person exacerbate problem • I always know what I’m doing . Only sick people have the disorders • Sometimes I’m not sure of what I’m doing
Journal of Personality, Volume 76, Issue 4
Self-Esteem Autobiography
He’s just an ordinary kid. I get my money from Mommy. -- Barry Magid (Ordinary Mind)
4) Connecting to Others Love Self-Esteem
6 Us and Them Judgments
“Do unto others as you would Servant Meat Servant have them do unto you” Enemy Enemy Servant It’s not just a commandment, but a law of Servant Meat nature. Meat Enemy Servant Meat Servant Enemy
Relational-Cultural Theory Three Objects of Awareness
• Grew out of feminist critique of conventional psychology • Mindfulness of sensations, thoughts, feelings in “me” • Benefits of mutual connection . Energy and vitality • Mindfulness of the words, body . Greater capacity to act language, mood of the other . Increased clarity . Enhanced self-worth (efficacy) • Mindfulness of the flow of relationship . Desire and capacity for more connection
It’s About Other People Life in a Space Suit
• Defenses against pain insulate us Make a connection, not an from one another impression.
• We imagine they keep us safe, but they leave us more vulnerable
7 Service
Embracing Insignificance
Wat Tham Sua King of England, 1387 Poor Prognosis
Tiger Cave Temple
Krabi, Thailand
8 Loving-kindness for the Narcissistic Threats Competition
• Anxiety often involves threats to us or our loved ones . Self image . Health . Wealth . Fantasized loss of pleasure . Anticipated disappointment
Looking Through Another’s Eyes Condon, Desbordes, & My Mantra Miller (2013)
Self-Compassion Why Are You Unhappy? Implications for Treatment
• Psychotherapy without a self can • Self-kindness Because 99.9% of everything you help us think, and everything you do, is . Embrace • Common Humanity ordinariness and for yourself. And there isn’t one. insignificance • Mindfulness . Foster connection, -- Wei Wu Wei acceptance, and psychological flexibility
9 Therapeutic Progress For recorded meditations, visit:
Not about me Not about me www.mindfulness-solution.com www.sittingtogether.com “mine” about me “mine” about me email: [email protected]
-- Adapted from Engler & Fulton
10 About the Presenter
Dr. Ronald D. Siegel is an Assistant Professor of Psychology, part time, at Harvard Medical School, where he has taught for over 30 years. He is a long time student of mindfulness meditation and serves on the Board of Directors and faculty of the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy. He teaches internationally about the application of mindfulness practice in psychotherapy and other fields, and maintains a private clinical practice in Lincoln, Massachusetts.
Dr. Siegel is coauthor of the self-treatment guide Back Sense: A Revolutionary Approach to Halting the Cycle of Chronic Back Pain, which integrates Western and Eastern approaches for treating chronic back pain; coeditor of the critically acclaimed text, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition; author of a book for general audiences, The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems; coeditor of Wisdom and Compassion in Psychotherapy: Deepening Mindfulness in Clinical Practice, with a foreword by His Holiness the Dalai Lama; coauthor of the professional guide Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy; and professor for The Science of Mindfulness: A Research- Based Path to Well-Being produced by The Great Courses. He is also a regular contributor to other professional publications, and is co-director of the annual Harvard Medical School Conference on Meditation and Psychotherapy.
Ronald D. Siegel, Psy.D. 20 Long Meadow Road Lincoln, MA 01773 781-259-3434
For recordings of mindfulness practice instructions, including meditations for working with anxiety, depression, relationship issues, addictions, and other difficulties, please visit www.mindfulness-solution.com
For additional recorded meditations, and patient handouts, please visit www.sittingtogether.com
For information about mindfulness and psychotherapy programs, please visit www.meditationandpsychotherapy.org
For information about the Back Sense program for treating chronic back pain, please visit www.backsense.org