Student Newspaper of The University of Lethbridge < Volume 38 Issue 13 < www.themeliorist.com < Thursday, 2 December, 2004

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in our office. Keep in mind the following arc just the ones scut Area (Jan. 15th) JOBS, JOBS, JOBS!!! specifically to our office. There arc many more on the Web site. - AB Sustainable Resource Development - Junior Forest Ran» Program: Crew Supervisors (Jan. 31st); Cooks (March 31st); Where did the semester go?? Only one week left of classes! DEADLINES are in brackets. ASAP means they may Participants (April 5th) But we'll be here until Dec. 24th. If you need any help with your hire the first qualified person who applies - DON'T - Federal Student Work Experience Program (FSWEP), across job search or career planning, be sure to come in and see us. Canada. Summer positions. Some excellent positions have WAIT! deadlines! Go to the Web site: jobs.gc.ca Career & Employment Services is a student service office ON-CAMPUS RECRUITING (OCR) dedicated to assist you in your job search and career planning. On-Campus Recruiting is the process by which employers FULL-TIME: (also sec OCR positions above!) We're within the Career Resources Centre in B610 along with the recruit students for full-time and summer positions for NEXT - Gitzel Krejci Dand Peterson, Stettler - Accounting Technician two Cooperative Education and Applied Studies programs. CRC YEAR! Full-time positions can start any time between January (Dec. 31st) office hours are 9 a.m. - Noon and 1 p.m. - 4 p.m. You can also and September 2005, while summer positions generally start - Development and Peace, Kamloops - Facilitator (Dec. 10th) check out our Web site for more detailed information: next May. Employers most often come to campus to conduct - Agristar Foods Ltd., Vauxhall - Production Shift Supervisor www.uleth.ca/reg-ces/ . Stop by B610 and talk to Pat, Diane or their interviews. You must register for OCR in CES! (B610) (ASAP) Cheryl about our services. We're here to help you! - U of L Caretaking Dept. - Caretaker II (Dec. 2nd) DON'T MISS THE DEADLINES FOR AWESOME JOB OPPOR­ - U of L Dept of Biology - Laboratory Technician (ASAP) CES offers CAREER COUNSELLING SERVICES! TUNITIES. YOU COULD HAVE A FULL-TIME OR SUMMER - AltaLink - Account Payable Accountant (Dec. 10th) Are you a first-year student and not sure about your major? Or JOB LINED UP BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!! - Tim Horton's - new store opening Dec 12th - needs all posi­ are you graduating and don't know what to do with your degree? tions and all shifts. (ASAP) Come to CES in B610 and book an interview with one of the Full-time OCR positions: (If you're graduating by next - Lethbridge Regional Police Service - Probationary Constable Career Counsellors. spring!) (Dec. 31st) - DuPont Canada, Lethbridge - Sales Representative (Dec. 16th - U of L Faculty- of Management - Administrative Program Below is a listing of the jobs currently posted. Complete Assistant II (Dec. 6th) descriptions can be found on www.workopolisCampus.com (you to employer) - Alberta Research council. Edmonton - Reclamation Scientist must come in and get the ACCESS CODE), or in the job binder - James Richardson International, western Canada - Facility Assistants (Dec. 15th to employer) (Dec. 17th) - Stay tuned for more! - The Personal Support Network. Fort McMurray - EFAP Counsellor (Dec. 23rd) Summer OCR positions: - Sysco, Edmonton - Staff Accountant (Dec. 3rd) - DuPont Canada, Lethbridge - Summer Sales (Jan. 14th to - Westl.ink Technology Commercialization Internship Program employer) (Dec. 15th) - AB Agriculture, Food & Rural Development - 4-H Branch, - Chinook Applied Research Association, Oyen - Extension An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students' Union SU-166,4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB T1K 3M4 Airdrie: Program Assistants, Program Lifeguard. Westerosc: Agrologist (Dec. 10th)

student Newspaper of the university of Lethbridge Outdoor Adventure/Lifeguard, Travel Coordinator. Edmonton: - Electronic Arts Canada, Vancouver - Academy Intern - Media Release Coordinator. (Jan. 14th to employer) Marketing (Dec. 8th) mel*io*rism (meel'ye riz'm, me'le e-), n. the doctrine - Agricore United, various locations across Western Canada: - World Health Club, Calgary & Edmonton - Full-time Personal that the world tends to become better or may be made Crop Scouts, Seed Production Assistants, Research Plot Fitness Trainers (Dec. 21st) better by human effort Assistants, Operational positions (Dec. 3rd and Jan. 10th to - Independent Counselling Services, Lethbridge - Overnight per­ employer) sonal attendant for female; Relief Workers in Lethbridge, Fort The Meiorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, pubfehed most - James Richardson International, western Canada - Facility McLeod, Blairmore, Cowley and Pincher Creek (ASAP) Thursdays throughout the academic year by The Meiorist Publishing Society, an Assistants (Dec. 15th to employer) - Dell Canada, Edmonton - Human Resources Assistant; autonomous incorporated body. Please address all corresponOence to The Melons! 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta. T1K 3M4. a drop it off at room SU-166. - Monsanto Canada Inc., Edmonton, Saskatoon, Winnipeg - Technical Support Representative; Customer Service Manager; Deadine for submissions is Sunday at noon. The phone number is (403) 329-2334 or Technology' Development Assistant, Seed and Technology Sales Inside Sales Rep-Direct Home Sales Division (ASAP) fax us at 329-2333. The Meiorist appreciates ana encourages the writing of thought­ Assistant (Dec. 3rd to employer) - Urban Wafer, Calgary - Production worker (ASAP) ful, concise, timeV letters. However, The Meiorist will only consider for pubication those - Watch for more! - Closer to Home Community Services, Airdrie - Couple to work letters which are signed by the author (special arrangements may be made fa those in a home with six youths. (ASAP) wisrtng anonymity, but absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the authors legible name, PART TIME: address, telephone number and student identification number (address, I.D. and - Legislative Assembly of Manitoba Internship Programme (Feb. phone number not (or publication). Letters may be edited for brevity, clarity and legal­ - U of L Caretaking Dept - Caretaker II temporary positions 14th) ity. The Meiorist reserves the right to edt submissions and wil not print Ibebus material. (Dec. 2nd) - Gov't of Canada, across Canada - Nurse Practitioner (Dec. 3^) - U of L Health Sciences - Research Assistant (Dec. 15th) - FirstEnergy Capital Corp., Calgary - Research Associate (Dec. Editor-in-Chief | David Green - Green Acres Foundation, Lethbridge - Food Services Worker 1st) [email protected] (Dec. 3rd) - Centennial Packers, Calgary - QA Technician (ASAP) Business Manager | Rebekah Rajotte - Laura House, Lethbridge - Residential Support Aid (Dec. 13th) - Grasslands Group - Human Resource Manager near Winnipeg; [email protected] - Martin Brothers Funeral Chapels, Lethbridge - Weekend Management Accountant near Winnipeg; Sales Agronomist in Receptionist (ASAP) central Saskatchewan; Divisions Controller - Manufacturing Advertising Manager | Don Nguyen - SELECT Recruiting, Lethbridge - Part-time Receptionist near Winnipeg; Recruiter in Swift Current; Division Manager - [email protected] (ASAP) Farm Equipment in Regina; Risk Assessment Coordinator in - Urban Wafer, Calgary - Production worker (ASAP) Copy Editor | Alicia McKenzie southwestern SK; Policy Analyst-Agribusiness in Regina (ASAP) - U of L Student Computer Labs - Proctors (Dec. 3rd) [email protected] - Toys "R" Us - various locations and positions (ASAP) - Lethbridge Shopper - Contract writer (ASAP) - Medicine Hat Police Service - Police Constable (Jan. 5th) Production Manager | Lance Semak - Hard Rock Grill, Lethbridge Curling Club - Cooks and Counter - Southern Alberta Community Living Association, Lethbridge - [email protected] Staff (ASAP) Community Rehabilitation Worker I (ASAP) - Bluefox Association, Lethbridge - Residential Support - Paradigm Wellness & Support Services, Lethbridge - Distribution Manager | Byron Dovichak Workers, Relief Workers and Vocational Relief Workers. (ASAP) Roommate Companion; Community Support Worker (ASAP) [email protected] - World Wrestiing Entertainment Inc., on campus - WWE - Alberta Municipal Affairs - Municipal Internships (Jan. 21st) News Editor | Nathan Sharpe Underground Ambassador (Dec. 7th) - Agristar Incorporated, Vauxhall - Sales and Marketing - Comfort Inn, Lethbridge - Front Desk Agents (ASAP) [email protected] Manager (ASAP) - Independent Counselling Services, Lethbridge - Overnight per­ - Inter-American Development Bank, Washington, D.C. - Junior Entertainment Editor | Jared McKenzie sonal attendant for female; Relief Workers in Lethbridge, Fort Professional Program (Jan. 15th) [email protected] McLeod, Blairmore, Cowley and Pincher Creek (ASAP) - CIBC - Customer Service Rep., Personal Banking Associate, - Southern Alberta Community Living Association, Lethbridge - Personal Banker, Senior Sales Advisor, Business Advisor, Sports Editor | Craig Hamilton Respite [email protected] Business Coordinator, Branch Manager, Account Manager- Workers, Community Rehabilitation Worker I (ASAP) Personal Banking, Account Manager-Small Business (ASAP) Photo Editor | Josh Nagy - Northern Reflections & Northern Getaway, Lethbridge - - Communications Security Establishment, Ottawa - Careers in [email protected] Seasonal Part-Time Sales Associate (ASAP) Languages (Dec. 15th) - Tim Horton's, Lethbridge - new store opening Dec. 12th - Organic Agriculture Centre of Canada, Nova Scotia Creative Designer | Amber Herbison requires all positions and all shifts. (ASAP) Agricultural College, Truro - Graduate Student Assistantship - [email protected] - Personal Care Attendant for young woman with CP. (ASAP) MSc in Soil Fertility/Organic Blueberry Production (Dec. 1st) - U of L - Note Takers, Tutors, Educational Strategists for Office Assistant | Jaime Tremblay - Casino Lethbridge - They're looking for all kinds of help. You Students with Disabilities for Fall and/or Spring semesters must apply in person. jaime. [email protected] (ASAP) WebMaster | Vikramjit Singh Gill VOLUNTEER [email protected] SUMMER: (watch for upcoming postings and also see SUM­ - Boys & Girls Club of Lethbridge, Coaldale and Coalhurst is MER OCR positions ABOVE!) looking for Volunteers (ASAP) Printing | Southern Alberta Newspaper Group - Parks and Protected Areas, AB Community Development, vari­ ous Provincial Parks in AB - Summer Park Interpreter (Jan. CONTRIBUTORS: Carolyn Statius-Muller, Angus Applied Studies Opportunities: 18th) Come in to the CRC (B610) and inquire about doing an Applied Sutherland, Paul Lindgren, Jeremy Mason, Lansdon - Centre Juno Beach, Normandy, France - Student Guide Fester, Dubh Jay, Amanda Bonner Study. You can earn credit while you volunteer! Program (Dec. 13th and Jan. 13th) - Lethbridge Office of Alberta Community Development (Jan. - NWT Recreation and Parks Association, various locations in Quote of the week NWf - Pool and Waterfront Supervisors (ASAP) - Fitball Exercises for Older Adults (Jan. 17th) "Never keep up with the Joneses. - AB Sustainable Resource Development - Forest Protection Drag them down to your level.'' - Lethbridge Public Library Storytellers (Dec. 3rd) - Quentin Crisp Division Lookout Observer; h'FFC Wildfire and Air Operations - Student to conduct a feasibility study in the Recreation and Support Staff; Wildfire Dispatcher in the Wildfire Protection Social Services sector (Jan. 17th) Letters to the Editor The Meliorist | Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 03

Dear Editor, palace?" (Singapore has never had a king!) Does he mean the "Istana", the official resi­ In reference to the article on Singapore that dence of the president? If so, it is open to the was in the Meliorist on November 18th, I public on certain holidays, including Labour would like to make a few comments. First off, Day and National Day. I'd like to say that the article was really well More information is at written, and the writer did a great job on giv­ http://www.istana.gov.sg and http://www.vis- ing readers a quick overview on the country. itsingapore.com . However, being a Singaporean (born and raised), I have a couple of things to say. As far Thank you, as milk is concerned, we do have fresh milk, in Geetha Subramaniyam low-fat, skim, and homogenized varieties (like the stuff you get here) available. These are either imported from Australia or New Zealand, or produced at the local dairy farm. Dear Editor, There is also ultra-heat-treated (UHT) milk available in cartons as well, as the milk powder I am responding to Ainsley Doty's letter pub­ that was mentioned before. These are offered lished in the November 18th, 2004 issue of in a wide selection to suit any diet. Another your paper. In part, Ms. Doty stated, "I'm sure thing that I found rather amusing was that the that every student at the University of writer implied that there were really anal rules Lethbridge knows, or has heard of, someone who...has had a child...the odds are relatively about where you could drink once you were good that we will all be in need of blood at safely inside a designated open drink area. I some point or another in our lives." The impli­ believe the writer was in a train station and, cation that every birth will require a blood like in many countries, open food and drink is transfusion for the mother is nothing more not allowed on the platform, to ensure the than a myth. Granted, the very rare occasion cleanliness of the area. I am pretty certain does exist where the mother hemorrhages that you can safely quench your thirst in most extensively and needs a blood transfusion. places. It is true that Singapore has a lot of However, the typical birth of a healthy baby rules, but that is what helps keep it the clean results in very little blood loss; certainly noth­ To lessen their workload! and safe country that it is. Nevertheless, I am ing more substantial than that lost in a blood glad that the writer and his friends enjoyed donation. If she truly were a modern, progres­ Students are free to contribute their stay and hope they visit again sometime! sive female, maybe she would refrain from per­ petuating the archaic notion that pregnancy In addition to my previous comments on the and birth is unsafe. articles, editorials etc. to article about Singapore -1 am just curious to know what the writer referred to as the "king's Mr. Kim Siever [email protected]

Dear Editor, responsibility of the Campus Women's Centre Prove to me that there are others. It's all fine Dear Editor, to reach out to men? I think it is the responsi­ to hide behind anonymity but when you get out In response to the anonymous letter of two bility of all feminists to reach out to men. To of your ivory tower, Jane (Doe), into the real After reading last week's article "Feed the weeks ago in the Meliorist. Hiding behind the achieve equality, that means both sexes equal, world, things are lots different there. Students", we were ashamed to call ourselves veil of anonymity seems like a cop out to me. and then doesn't that imply that both sexes If you are afraid to violate your anonymity I 'student.' We realize that the "Student Food Perhaps you don't want it known who you are MUST be involved? would be more than happy to meet with you Bank" is a form of protest against the govern­ because you are not involved with the Women's I agree that some really horrible things have personally, send me an e-mail at paul.thomp- ment, due to the rising costs of tuition. Centre; how are we to know if we don't know happened in the past to women at the hands of Son(§ uleth.ca, but honestly I don't think that Flowever, we doubt that the "majority" of stu­ who you are? As to reaching out to the male men - does this mean that I should suffer for you will. Surprise me!! Oh yes, I almost for­ dents on campus cannot afford food to live. population of the campus, if this is not part of the sins of my forefathers? Should I be pun­ got, I am purposely not mentioning any of the For those students who are finding it hard to the Women's Centre then why is there a $1 per ished for what someone else has done? If I things that I am affiliated with because this is made ends meet, the community food bank is semester levy on the male population? I have were to tell you that women are statistically just my opinion, and I am just a student at this open to the entire community. written about this type of thing before - why weaker than men, that would be sexist, but if I university. Considering how fortunate we are to have the are we students getting nickel and dimed to tell you that men statistically have more auto­ opportunity to receive a post-secondary educa­ death? motive accidents, this is not sexist? How about Paul Thompson tion, we do not think that we, as students, have Perhaps there should be a $1 per semester the man that is tiying to get custody of his chil­ a right to beg for food. There are many people levy to help pay for my fees, or for someone dren from the children's mother because she is in this world, this country, and this town that else's fees that could not afford tuition other­ neglectful and is told that no matter what, a cannot afford to have three healthy meals per wise? Perhaps we should also tack on another woman is a better caregiver than a man is? day, or even a roof over their heads. Si per semester levy to support Amnesty What about the man that is accessed a certain .to the This Friday, November 26th, 2004 we will not International; after all, they are a worthy cause, amount of child support based on his income, support the students who partake in "canvass­ are they not? The one thing in common that then later when he has custody of his children, ing door to door." We hope that they are proud all of these proposals have in common is that the mother is accessed less child support for a a if 01 of themselves for taking food that could have there is no return to the student body. the same level of income? I agree that there is been given to someone who ACTUALLY needs Whether I agree with the Meliorist funding or still a lot of sexism in our society, but a large it. not, it is a student newspaper. LPIRG is to portion of it is institutionalized to make up for We recommend to the SU a more efficient fund sUident research. It behoves the Campus things that happened in the past. way to spend their time - a more worthy cause Women's Centre to reach out to a broader por­ We have in this very city such things as "Only is to join in the MSS's community food bank tion of the student population than just the Women's Fitness" and "Curves for Women" but drive. As a student and citizen, I would be women. the traditional men's club, the "YMCA" was more willing to donate to a community food It has been said that any man that suppresses sued for not allowing women in and is thus bank (a reputable charity), over a group of stu­ women does so to himself, because all men are now co-ed. I have heard that there are places dents begging for food...tiying to make a politi­ of women. What a lot of feminists seem to for­ for men to go when they feel they need some cal statement. get is that the opposite is true as well. We are support. I challenge this anonymous person to not separate species, one dominant over the put your money where your mouth is. I know Sincerely, other. We are part of the same species and of one support group for men in Lethbridge, Ashamed Management Students cannot survive without the other. Is it the but you are required to pay to be a member. Cheryl Hawco & Erin Murphy

Dear Editor, individuals only notice sexuality when it is bla­ You either tell it all, or say nothing. What one to be able see and be critical of what is put in tantly utilized in advertisement, but the reality person may find inappropriate, another may front of us. It has been drawn to my attention that in last is, it's all around us. Although the art of subtle­ deem revolutionary. Who is to be appointed to Feminism does have its place in society, so week's submission I may have been slightly ty seems to be disintegrating, sexuality is still determine which point of view is correct? long as it is relatively moderate and steers away insensitive with some of my statements and cleverly displayed everywhere we look. Where should the line be drawn? from becoming radical. Sexuality will always be word choices. Fair enough, but allow me to A woman's group known as the "Guerilla Referring back to sex in the media and adver­ used in advertisement and media, regardless of defend myself. Girls" boycotted the Metropolitan Museum of tisement, I'll admit that in certain instances it the personal opinions of individuals. That is When it comes to men and woman in adver­ Art in New York because of what they deemed may be oppressive to both genders. But in not to say that all voices have the right to be tisement, I have a veiy hard time agreeing with to be female oppression. They based this theo­ many other cases, using sex is just a clever heard and considered. But when it comes to certain feminists' views. I'll admit that the ry on the fact that 85 per cent of the nudes in (though highly unoriginal) way of selling a advertisement, let's face it: bodies are beautiful, objectification of the human form is an exceed­ the museum were female, and less then five per product or drawing attention. 1 understand and sex sells. ingly large problem in today's society, but I also cent of the artists in the modern art section that although I personally do not have a prob­ believe that it is both genders that are being were women. Were they correct in their objec­ lem with this, other people may. Ainsley Doty exploited by many marketing schemes. It is tion? Was this in fact a deliberate attack on However, the real danger does not exist in the also a firm belief of mine that expressions of woman's rights? Is there really a difference advertisement itself. This subject could be par­ sexuality can be liberating as well as rectifying. between a nude marble statue in an art gallery, alleled with the old cliche "Guns don't kill peo­ Present day society seems to be having diffi­ and a scantily-clad model in a fashion maga­ ple, people kill people" (which 1 don't necessari­ culty finding that "healthy medium" when it zine? ly agree with, but for our purposes it will have comes to sexuality. Back only a few decades Here is where 1 am torn. I believe that censor­ to do.) Advertisement only becomes dangerous ago, woman's sexuality was frowned upon and ship is one of the world's great evils. If we as a when the people of a society lose the ability to deemed to be inappropriate if at all noticeable. people are to lose our freedom of speech and think for themselves. Oppression becomes a Nowadays, it seems that everyone is walking expression, we have lost everything. But when threat when individuals fail to recognize hidden around wearing sex coloured lenses. Many it comes to censorship, there is no grey area. meaning] and underlying messages. We need Letters to the Editor The Meliorist Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 04 Activist, writer and speaker talks to the U of L

changes, but Barlow wants to make Canada, she said that even her water for it." the distinction "it's not a drought...we habits were likely questionable and This payment raises major issues for By Nathan Sharpe are destroying water cycles." the "access of water is dramatically Harlow and the people living in coun­ News Editor There are spots on earth that have inequitable." tries that are having their water priva­ more fresh water and less people than The tar sands in Northern Alberta tized in exchange for debt relief. She others, places like the Canada, but were one thing that she cautioned the said these people are forced to "give then there are places with a severe audience about, referring to the esti­ up the tools of their control," and the corporations "raise the price of water HE HAS BEEN CALLED THE and worsening water crisis like mated 1.6 trillion barrels of Bitumen "Ralph Nader of Canada" before the California, Mexico. Northern China, that require vast amounts of water to and cut off the people that can't pay." 2004 presidential elections, and has the Middle East and many parts of separate the tar-like substance from She gave an example of an impover­ helped shaped the last 30 years of Africa. the sand. ished community in South Africa, Canadian policy. Maude Barlow, "The planet is like an apple that is This oil will be more and more where the locals had state-of-the-art author and co-author of 13 books, drying up in certain spots," is how sought after in coming years if the water metres with a touch-key system calls it the "mass movement of water." chairperson for the Council of Barlow described the phenomenon. current oil trends continue, but and "they [the water companies] She cautioned that President Bush Canadians, the left leaning public Our southern neighbour has not for­ Barlow thinks that water will be the charge you for every drop of water." "sees Canada's water as a part of advocacy group and the largest of its gotten the fact that Canada has more hot commodity of the new century, Another type of water exploitation American heritage." type in Canada, and extremely well water than we currently need, so it is saying "blue gold is to this century that she warned the students about One of the biggest threats is that as a know activist against free trade was at easy to see why an organization such what oil and black gold was to the last was bottled water. part of the North American Free the University of Lethbridge to dis­ as the Council of Canadians would century." "Stop and think twice about bottled Trade Agreement, once Canada starts cuss water trade. take an interest in such a subject. As this blue gold gets more and more water," she urged those in attendance. exporting water, it cannot stop. "We cannot possible imagine a world "For Canada, there are a number of scarce with heightening industry and "The bottled water is no safer than This issue of water scarcity could without water," is how she started her questions we have to ask ourselves," an expanding global population, she the tap water," she said, adding "in my come to a violent conclusion. Barlow talk. "We've always believed that she said. says that the next natural step is that opinion it is a scam." said, "If anything is to bring the world water is infinite," she continued, and She talked about the fact that 1.2 bil­ "the private sector moves in." She spoke about how major compa­ onto the brink of disaster, the coming told students that the water they drink lion people have no access to clean This private sector has been making nies such as Coke use satellites to crisis surrounding water has the is the same water that the dinosaurs water, a figure that is rising exponen­ off with obscene amounts of money, locate large stores of water in under­ potential to lead to small wars, big drank millions of years ago. tially. This crisis will reach the point with the three major providers of tap developed countries. This water is wars, [and] class wars." Now there is a threat to the water that, by 2025, there will be a situation water in the top 100 of the fortune "life or death" to these developing She closed her talk with some cycle, and she came to address that we where two thirds of the world's popu­ 500 list. These three providers are in countries, according to Barlow, and encouraging words. "We want water have exhausted the surface water in lation will lack access to clean water. turn "backed by the world bank and corporations "drain communities to be declared a human right at the many places on earth and "we are now "Have we taken care of our water?" the International Monetary Fund," dry." United Nations," and that as mining the groundwater." was one of the pertinent questions she and, as Barlow cautions, "they say...if A third kind of water privatization Canadians, "we say our water is not This has lead to many ecological posed to the audience. As a citizen of you want water you will have to pay directly threatens Canada; Barlow for sale." Canada can play 'unique role': Copps What makes an outstanding professor? University experience of students, associates, But only if country resists political, economic By Amanda Bonner and to be about more than textbooks, tests and News Contributor GPA's. These professors consistently demon­ strate passion for their research, teachings, stu­ integration with U.S., former minister says dents' education and their professional growth. IA M A THIRD YEAR MANAGEMENT STUDENT AT This committee's goal every year is to recognize the University of Lethbridge. When I first start­ an extraordinary teacher who is part-time or full ed attending classes here, I was keen on getting time and whom has taught during the 2004/05 involved in the school. So I asked myself, how do academic year. Nominations are welcome from I go about this? I'm not an athlete, actress, any member of the University community singer, or even a political leader. Despite all including, faculty, students, alumni and staff. these things, there was something I found that But remember, the DUE DATE FOR NOMINA­ really made me feel valuable to the University. TIONS IS FEBRUARY 11th, 2005. Every year we This was being a member of a University receive nominations from an array of faculties, Committee. More specifically, the Distinguished but my goal is to make a wealth of University Teachers Award Committee. members aware that such an award exists. This I have now served on this committee for three way we can nominate and recognize all the years and every year I learn more about "What deserving candidates. If you feel that you know a makes an outstanding professor?" I have learned deserving candidate, please contact the Office of that there is a wealth of distinguished professors the President: 329-2201 or check out the Web throughout the University. The committee uses site for more Nomination Info: criteria to define what makes a professor out­ http://home.uleth.ca/pub/awards . standing. We evaluate nominees on qualities like Another underlying intention of this article is to political integration with the United States, I superior teaching ability, fair and open evalua­ recommend to students, staff and alumni to vol­ think we can continue to exercise a unique role tion schemes, and the ability to instill vital and unteer to be a member of a University commit­ By Adrian Ma in the world." enduring interest from their students. Those are The Cord Weekly (Wilfrid Laurier tee. It is an opportunity to become someone who About the controversial U.S. missile defence a few examples of areas we research, but several University) makes a difference in our University community. plan, Copps said: "Nuclear missile shields will more qualities are required to be outstanding. There are approximately 50 committees, so you not protect us. Building walls around America Consistently I always find that certain nominees WATERLOO, Ont. (CUP) are bound to find something you are interested will not save us. What will save us is building outshine others. It is due to the fact that they in. For more info on joining a committee, con­ bridges." exhibit the enthusiasm to help shape the tact the Students' Union office at 329-2222. While she recognized the many achievements F« ORMER DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER SHEILA and formidable growth of Canada since the time Copps spoke out against Canada's participation of Laurier, Copps noted the challenges hinder­ in the United States' missile defence system and ing this country. Abortion is a reflection urged youth to get involved in the political "West fights East, everyone fights Quebec, and that we have not met process during a lecture at Wilfrid Laurier more Canadians are thinking about 'me' than University November 18th. thinking about 'we.' I think of Canada as a work the needs of women. Her lecture, "Why Canada Works", touched on in progress. Each region must do their part to a variety of matters, but always related to the reapply the glue that keeps us together." question Copps posed early on: "Why is it that The former Liberal cabinet minister's lecture Women deserve better 90 per cent of the world would give everything resounded with both conviction and optimism, than abortion. they had and more to come to Canada?" and though her speech largely centred on To Copps, the answer can be found in Canada's Canada's past and present, she did have some­ cultural diversity and collectivism, ideals thing to say to the future of the country, the espoused by Wilfrid Laurier, who she honoured Canadian youth. lMom«N as a "world citizen" upon opening her speech. "There's a huge degree of activism, and there's "I think some people describe [Canadians] as a lot more exposure to just so much that you polite," Copps said. "I'd like to think that the have the potential to be incredibly active or o«««« reason we're polite is not because we're afraid or incredibly cynical. unimaginative, but rather it is because we start­ "When I wrote [my] book, I called it Worth ed a country with the premise that the majority Fighting For because I want people to under­ www.Woint.nD.MrveBottBr.com should not trump the minority." stand that you have to be there to change things, She went on to discuss Canada's relationship and I think the youth need to be inspired to get with the U.S., and the obstacles the country out there and get involved. I was happy to see —«• •-•«- »~ '**"* *"-^l the number of people coming out, for example, faces in maintaining its own identity. y or those; Buffering the "If we can resist the pull to have economic and to the WTO demonstrations." oniolionnl 0/ spiritual pain Ol abortion Call U877-58M223 News The Meliorist | Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 05 Buy Nothing Day delivers the goods

Provincial government grants millions to bring Molson to Moncton By Nathan Sharpe News Editor

By Kathleen Gadd The Argosy (Mount Allison University) N FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26TH, THERE WAS A holiday where no one bought presents for each SACKVILLE, N.B. (CUP) other, decorated, dressed up, or did any of the other standard holiday fare. It was the North American "Buy Nothing Day" and the Atrium at "Culture jammers know that they are not going the University of Lethbridge was the staging to shut down the economy," said Carolyn Statius- EW BRUNSWICK PREMIER BERNARD point for some re-education. Muller, a first year Anthropology major who had Lord has announced a deal that will bring We've strategically plaeed ourselves next to the come out to support the boycott on spending. multi-million dollar brewer Molson to Moncton Christmas tree and bank machine," said Aaron The students were not concerned with who par­ - to the possible detriment of Canada's oldest Chubb, a fourth year Anthropology major who ticipated, just that they could open up as many independent brewery, Moosehead. was working the table. people to the concept as possible. "We want a The deal includes not only a $3.5-million dol­ The students behind the table had free vegan buy nothing world, not a buy nothing club," lar forgivable loan - a loan that does not have to (non-animal product) cookies, and free fair-trade explained Aaron Glenn, a graduate Biology stu­ be paid back as long as certain conditions are coffee donated by 10,000 Villages, a local non­ dent. met - but also special benefits not offered to Stack is not upset about Molson's expansion, profit fair trade store staffed by volunteers with "It's more of a symbolic attack," added Chubb. other Maritime breweries. but rather that the Lord government is giving 30 such stores operating in Canada. This "attack" was done with some original The arrangement was made with the intention the successful company "tax dollars - including "Quite a few people have come by here and weapons. "There has been music, drums, dijere- of bringing more jobs to New Brunswick, as those of Moosehead employees - to eliminate asked me about 10,000 Villages or fair trade," doo, accordion, rain sticks and poi [these are fire Molson had the choice of opening a brewery in our own jobs." said Ashley Markus, a fourth year BFA student dancing implements of the decorative sort that Halifax or Moncton. The deal means Molson will be able to import who helped organize the event. you would not actually light]," he said. "When you look at it, the Molson brewery was beer from Montreal and Toronto without penal­ The concept of fair trade was explained to many The display had been up since early morning, coming," said Business Minister Peter Mesheau, ty, unlike all other beer sold in New Brunswick, of the students passing through. It was outlined and a projection screen had been used to play according to the CBC. "So do you let it go to which "has to be bottled in the Maritimes to in a pamphlet produced by IFAT, the Manufacturing Consent, the movie of Noam Halifax? Or do you try to keep it here in New avoid heavy taxes," according to the CBC. International Fair Trade Organization. "Fair Chomsky's famous media dissecting book. Brunswick and grow jobs here in New The New Brunswick Liquor Corp. has stated trade is a trading partnership, based on dialogue, "The resources have been supplied by LPIRG," Brunswick?" Molson will be able to sell any of its beer in the transparency and respect, that seeks greater explained Chubb, referring to the new monetary But Derek Oland, CEO of Moosehead province as though it was brewed there, as long equity in international trade. It contributes to fund that students can access for special interest Breweries, maintains the government's plan as it exports an equal amount from New sustainable development by offering better trad­ events such as this. may backfire. He is concerned Molson will use Brunswick. Although Labatt already operates a ing conditions to, and securing the rights of, mar­ Currently, LPIRG has sent University of the privileges it got from the government to brewery in the Maritimes, it does not receive ginalized producers and workers - especially in Lethbridge delegates from the new Globalization flood the New Brunswick market with a wider this privilege. the south." Studies department founded by Anthony Hall to range of products and undermine Moosehead's Moosehead and its employees are up in arms The reaction to this has been "slightly bemused the President Bush welcoming in Ottawa on business. about the deal, but some maintain competing but positive," according to Chubb. Tuesday, November 30th. Interested students The premier "was poorly advised," Oland said, breweries in New Brunswick will be good for the There was a menagerie of literature and hand­ can check out their journey at www.globalisa- adding: "I think certainly the officials in province. outs about fair trade and consumerism on the tionstudies.org. Fredericton certainly didn't give much consider­ "I'd rather work in a brewery than a call cen­ table. The works of Naomi Klein, Noam As for the students who participated in Buy ation to the effect on Moosehead." tre," Glenn Jameson said. "Although I don't Chomsky, the Council of Canadians, and of Nothing Day, the only side effects were possible Gerald Stack, president of a union local repre­ agree with the government interfering, in the course, Adbusters, the magazine that started the caffeine withdrawal and a few more dollars to senting brewery workers, questions the real Maritimes I think they should take any chance Buy Nothing Day. spend the next day. value of bringing Molson to New Brunswick. they can get at increasing their infrastructure. "The new brewery proposed for Moncton is At the end of the day, think of the jobs that are supposed to create 40 jobs. This obviously does being procured - they're going to last a long not take into account the losses that will occur at time. It's fantastic." On the other hand, Harold Moosehead." Bertie said: "It is bloody ridiculous that the Moosehead also has a long tradition of buying provincial government would give $3.5 million from New Brunswick merchants in every aspect of our tax dollars to a successful multi-national of their business, from bottling to boxing to corporation like Molson Inc. Then again, this PERHAPS H" IS YOUR WISDOM TEETH shipping - business the province stands to lose government hasn't been noted for making wise if Moosehead is forced out of business. decisions." Dr. Bryan Murray offers Dental Surgical University of Lethbridge hosts first Procedures while you are asleep. ever fundraising gala to acknowledge Limited Practice for Dental Extractions and all of the generous donors the Dental Implants. University has had since its founding. Students are encouraged to check out Accredited Non-Hospital Surgical Facility the interactive touch screen for a list by the College of Physicians of Alberta. of all student donors. 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University President Bill Cade was also oul taut thing for churches to do at this tim. 0 talking to students. Hii wife, ElsaSalazaj Gad< yeai which is always stressful and food...! think was handing oul food to the students as well, is always a good way of dealing with stress." By Nathan Sharpe she look care oi the line without problem, "You Ihe students were rushed through hut still had Newx Editor an old schoolteacher here like me, four time to smile. About 7f,o of them ii hi" she said ai th< students were rushed n i eived the bag of free loud. through. The Students' Union was on site as well. |».uc| 'li was quite nice, i thinl thej reallj apprei i ini • helpini band and bringing can aftei i

LINEUP WAS WORSr THAN ANYTHING ate that ...even one ot them said thank vou and lood .is the hungry students (including foui yon would over sec at the Calgary Stampede. how much the- appreciated getting the loud appreciative Meliorisi staffers] watched and The students, stacked four deep, lined up from Salazarsaid of the studenl waited. the middle of the Atrium, to the end of Fresh "The reaction was really positive, the Christmas Thi free food event happens twice a year, neat Express and the ('-section of University Hall. spirit was in the air. we are all in a celebratory the final exams for the Spring and Fall semesters When students were asked why they were mood." Cade remarked, adding "it is an impoi don I mis: n nexl vear. standing around with big smiles on their face! they replied "free food." Thi- was an occasion that brought out the Christmas spirit early. Local churches had been collecting non-perishable food to give to stu­ dents, not as a food bank for hungry students, but as a gesture of love and appreciation for stu­ dents stressed out by the impending onslaughl oi exams, essays, and Christmas shopping. The students living in University Hall residenci got a heads up from their residential assistant others heard about the event t.om the Meliorist, some had participated in previous years, and others just responded to their priimil student instincts and got in line, What bounty they received was well worth the wait though. "Cookie, juici crackers. tiniH that would preserve long enough for me to mak< it to Christmas." said one student de i ibin what she got last year. "They are all happy to come out and get food...the word got out and more students arc coming."' said Pastor Michael Gund. He went on to say "there are so many different things that divide us, even amongst Christians...when members of churches just sort of show an act of love or being generous that kind of shows how we are united." News The Meliorist I Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 07 The Meliorist | Thursday. 2 December 2004 Page 08 NEWS

World News omework nathan's little corner *

By Nathan Sharpe News Editor I * * I • mm

OR YOUR NEWS HOMEWORK THIS WEEK, By Nathan Sharpe there are two big stories that need a little extra News Editor research and attention. First, the day this paper comes out, the front­ page story on almost all Canadian newspapers will be President George Bush's \isit. It has been on the front pages of Canadian papers for IWA S GOING TO WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT ISSUE four days as of Monday, but not a whisper from FOR this editorial, but I work in a mall, and the the U.S. press. They are leading with stories Armageddon of all things holy has already begun. about massive U.S. casualties in Fallujah First, a fat guy in a red suit does not make me (homework from two weeks ago) and the high­ Ukraine. want to hang out with my family or remember ly controversial Ukrainian elections, which we The premise of this story is that an election for baby Jesus. Santa inspires the true holiday sprit will get to shortly. president was filled with corruption, and the in all of us, to drink too much wine, eat too much First, the visit from Dubya is very important winner, Viktor Yanukovych. is being chal­ dead bird, and most of all, buy too much worth­ because, at present, he is viciously unpopular lenged. less crap. with many Canadians for a menagerie of rea­ That challenger, Viktor Yushchenko. lost by a Christmas is a long-lost tradition that was born sons: the Iraqi war, Afghanistan, Mad Cow, slim margin and is calling for another election out of a love for fellow mankind and the need to Missile Defence, and much, much more. that is supported by the outgoing president kick back and relax, celebrating baby Jesus. The visit had drawn thousands to Ottawa, and Leonid Kuchma. Then, the Capitalist machine ate baby Jesus and the environment, get a big green plastic eyesore. security has been increased dramatically for the Much of the controversy is stemming from crapped out Santa Claus. You will understand Then the massacre really begins - crappy plastic occasion. On a cell phone late Monday night home videos showing beatings and intimida­ when you go to the mall and are trampled by a garland, small lights that never last more than a from the capitol, U of L student Matt Sletto tion, as well as ballot stuffing. brotherhood of man, people of all races, ages, year, and endless ugly, tacky, shiny trinkets. said, "they shut down downtown Ottawa." Amid this controversy, many countries have sexes and social status; all united for the com­ Then we have created a monstrosity, stitched This is an important one to watch. Opposition refused to acknowledge the election results, mon goal to buy as much red and white plastic together like the creature in Frankenstein, but leader Stephen Harper has been given a meet­ including the United States. junk as possible. from various meaningless objects. Under this ing time with Bush, while Jack Layton of the While tens of thousands take to the streets of As if that is not bad enough, the parasite of the beast we put the grand finale, gifts we feel com­ New Democratic Party and Bloc Quebecois the capitol, Kiev, the world braces and hopes corporations have found a way to infiltrate every pelled to give. We even make sure that we wrap leader Gilles Duceppe were denied a private that this polarization will not split the country corner of society. Everything has to smell and them in yet more crap, tied with a crappy bow. meeting with the President. into a pro-Russian east and a pro-western west. taste like peppermint. Not just candy, but pop, This is not to make you all hate Christmas; after Now, to follow this story closely, go check out More turmoil is happening on the supposed ice cream, incense, liquor, and I haven't seen all is said and done, I get some time off to hang the founder of the Globalization Studies depart­ winner's side, with Yanukovych's campaign minty beer yet, but I dread the day that this hor­ out with my family. We do have to consider how ment at the U of L, Anthony Hall's, class Web chief and Central Bank chairperson Serhiy ror is inflicted on us all. much we waste, not only the tons of waste we page at www.globalizationstudies.org . He has Tyhypko stepping down from both positions, The deal gets worse. Our homes are assaulted produce, but the emotional waste we inflict upon two delegates with video equipment on site, alleging that the country's monetary system with a multitude of seizure inflicting lights. Then each other. We need to respect each other with funded by the Lethbridge Public Interest was in trouble and could "fall apart like a house we participate in the tradition that's fun and words and actions, not things. If you must hang Research Group (LPIRG). of cards" in "a few days." expensive for the whole family - the frickin' tree. lame lights all over your home, do it with a friend. For news coverage, pick up a copy of your Something as major as this event will be easy We either kill a big plant, or, ironically worse for Merry bloody Christmas. friendly local paper, the Lethbridge Herald. It to find information on. CNN and CNN.com will probably have a few wire stories about the would both be great sources, as well as the event. National Post. Even the local papers here will The nightly news would be a good source too, have some form of coverage as this story as this may be a visual event more than some­ unfolds. thing to read. Go now and find more information. These are Your second piece of homework is of more summaries, not articles. Go, what are you still international importance: it is the election in reading for? UMELQHE m\ mmm m Travel Uniglobe Travel is pleased to welcome

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By lared/McKeruic, ** Entertainment Editor

non-members and $5 for members, the 9th at the Enmax Centre. It runs probably worth it. and there will be some pizza after­ from noon to 8 p.m., and has four D.Is iV E BEEN THINKING ABOUT START- wards. The game starts at 7 p.m. and two bands. There might be a 5) Rump Sliakin House: The ing a sweet '80s style synth band. rockin' Celtic rock band there that Starlight once again hosts the only live Unfortunately, I can't play synths or 2) The Students' Union is Having puts on a great show. Prizes include house music in town. Friday night style my hair asymmetrically, and I Fun? Spooky, I know. The SU has trips to Mexico. Tix are $15 in sees a couple of D.Is spinning, and it's don't really know anyone who can. plans for this year's Ender Bender on advance, and you can pick them up at only a measly $2 to get in. (Except for the girl with the side pony- December 9th. There's a Cabaret the Roadhouse, the Pita Pit (both tail.) You laugh? Just you wait. from noon until 7:30 p.m. at the locations), and at the table in the 6) Mmm...local metal...: Vibes When I start winning Grammys and Union, with a $2 cover and specials all Atrium next to an inflatable palm tree. Nightclub presents Shigella's CD putting 24-inch rims on my day. The Cab features live music and Or, you can call Mulder at 308-6279. release party, with special guests to spend all of next weekend celebrat­ Oldsmobile, you will remember read­ loads of giveaways. Then, at 8 p.m., Cho, on Friday, December 3rd at 8 ing the end of the semester by ing this, and you will be filled with the doors open for a concert with 4) Messiah: If you're looking to take p.m. This is the first release from the destroying my brain. If you think regret. Who am I kidding - I will Stabiio and Strat. Tix for the concert part in a huge holiday tradition, head local metal/hard rock band, and it you're in the same boat, then remove amount to nothing. Here's what's are $8, and if you have a Stabiio tick­ to the Southminster United Church should be a great show. There's going those plastic covers from your text­ happening this week: et, you can get into the Cabaret for on Saturday, December 4th at 8 p.m. to be cover, but the cheap drinks at books, wipe off the dust, and start free. You can get your tickets in for Handel's Messiah. The piece Vibes should more than make up for studying. Or, build a fort. You pick. 1) Improv Night: The Improv Club advance from the Service Centre. will be performed by the Vox Musica it. is holding a murder-mystery on Choir (118 members) and 20 mem­ December 4th at the Union. It has a 3) Another Semester Ender: Devin bers of the Lethbridge Symphony 1/2) Be a Geek: I know, I know, how Do you have an event for Jared? 1920s theme, so you're encouraged to Mulder and the Roadhouse are put­ Orchestra. Tix are $21 for students sad is studying on a weekend? But, Let him know at come dressed up. It's only $10 for ting on a Last Class Beach Bash on and $25 regular. A little steep, but it's when I look ahead, I know I'm going [email protected]. CD Review: CKXU TOP 30 C'Mon's Midnight Is the Answer (Note: (*) means Canadian, and (**) means Local)

#1 KIM BARLOW lucky burden - Caribou *2 STARS Set Yourself On Fire - Arts & Crafts 3 DONNAS Gold Medal - Atlantic 4 TIM MCNAMARA QUARTET Earth Sign - Blu Jazz 5 MY ROBOT FRIEND Hot Action! - Proptronix 6 CHIN UP CHIN UP We Should Have Never Lived Like We Were Skyscrapers- Flameshovel *7 MIKE PLUME rock and roll recordings volume 1 -Clann *8 LUDES Ludes - Indie 9 LADD MCINTOSH BIG BAND Ride The Night Beast - L.E.M 10 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS Learn Yourself- MGM *ll NEIL CHAPMAN Hope In Hell - Rubber Buddha *12 LORRIE MATHESON A Dime At A Time - Saved By Radio *13 MEMPHIS I Dreamed We Fell Apart - Paper Bag *14 DUTERVIL the pigeon who through perseverance - Indie *15 DEARS Thank You Good Night Sold Out - Maple Music 16 SAINT ETIENNE Travel Edition (1990-2005) - Sub Pop 17 PINBACK Summer In Abaddon - Touch & GO *l8 BLACK RICE Contact - Black Rice Music *19 ILLUMINATI On Borrowed Time - Indiestructable 20 TED LEO AND THE PHARMACISTS Shake The Sheets - Lookout! *2i AMOS GARRETT/ DOUG SAHM/ GENE TAYLOR BAND The Return Of The Formerly Brothers - Stony Plain begins as a possible Wide Mouth 22 JELLO BIAFRA AND THE MELVINS Never Breathe What You Can't See -Alternative Tentacles Mason throwaway eventually disinte­ By Jared McKenzie 23 A.M. SIXTY Big As The Sky - V2 grates into a trippy, fuzzed-out jam 24 DINO FELIPE Entertainment Editor I'm You - Asphodel session. It's the creative highlight of 25 NOMO Nomo - Ypsilanti the album, and also the best track. 26 NEKO CASE The Tigers Have Spoken - Mint C'Mon's Midnight is the Answer is 27 MOSQUITOS Sunshine Barato - Bar/None 28 NOFX The Greatest Songs Ever Written (By Us) -Epitaph Jidnight is the Answer, a CD an alright album. It isn't necessarily M, 29 GRAVENHURST Black Holes In The Sand - Warp that found its way onto my desk this good, but it isn't trash either. 30 ANDERS PARKER Tell It To The Dust - Baryan week, is a furious, energetic mix of Detroit-style rock (like The Stooges), punk, and boogie. With all these fan­ tastic influences, you'd think it would be hard to produce a bad album. Sophisticated for Well, C'Mon hasn't necessarily pro­ duced a bad record, but they have produced a mediocre one. Consisting of Ian Blurton (producer every occasion. of the Weakerthans), Katie Lynn Campbell (bass in Nashville Pussy) Original Penguin and Randy Curnew (the Swallows), C'Mon represents a raw power trio with emphasis on over-the-top, high- energy shows and recordings. t f Most of the tracks on Midnight is the matt & nat Answer are fairly standard rock montreal tracks. However, there are a couple WOMAN that deserve special attention. First of all, "Deliver Yr Desire" has an attempted Queens of the Stone Age vibe. Maybe it's due to the production WF. used, (or the lack of QOTSA's trade­ mark narcotics), but the entire track has a strong emptiness to it. Burton's CALIBAN 328 - 7th Street South tenor simply does not mesh with the heavy bass and guitar. It's like it Lethbridge 327-2232 could be a tongue-in-cheek tribute to www.gentlemen3.ca Queens of the Stone Age, but it isn't. It's messy either way. However, C'Mon redeems itself with +VIVE MARIA* "Hey Hey Don't Disappear", the album's longest track at 3:38. What The Meliorist Thursday, 2 December 2004 Page 10 Entertainment Rock etiquette is not an oxymoron Concert guidelines: Rockin' out in an orderly fashion

rehab, it's probably cool. Who am I to deny Charlie Sheen his basic rights?) By Chandler Levack 8. Don't you feel sorry for the people The Innis Herald (Innis at the end of concert, who, after the College, University ofToronto) lights have come up and cigarette butts and empty beer cans are TORONTO (CUP) exposed, are still milling around their seats, faintly hoping the band will turn up for a surprise "after hours" encore? I do believe in that emptv EMONIC TWIN LESBIANS; CON- templative 30-something, alt-country hope, but it is more than slightly quintets; egomaniacal NYC hipsters - pathetic when you are the only one chances are if you have tickets to these screaming and encouraging the rest of three, the audience is going to be a lit­ us who are exhausted to clap simulta­ tle more than varied. Having the neously for a band who are inhaling in excellent fortune to view three very their tour bus whatever they choose to different concerts in recent weeks, I inhale after a show. It's over; it was feel that I must impart my own nice while it lasted. All you can do is knowledge on the proper actions of close your eyes to their album and rock concert etiquette. gasp over second-hand smoke for an While some may argue the most at-home mock-up. important part of a concert is the very 9. On the subject of second-hand lack of manners the "rock environ­ smoke (cigarette or otherwise), I ment" inhabits, there must be basic would assume an audience memher rules, or the experience will be likened should be aware of the stigmas these to about the equivalent of a Limp substances arise within the general Bizkit LP. At the best of times, the public. So why, darling, must you concert audience should be a closely- blow your Virginia Slims smoke rings knit (in the case of two out of the three right in front of my face while I am shows I've viewed, way too close for "Why do people smoke at concerts at all in such trying to feign interest over the open­ my liking) family - albeit one that close quarters? Are you such an addict, 15-year- ing act? Why do people smoke at con­ doesn't urge the other to turn down old girl from Scarborough in a skin-tight Ramones certs at all in such close quarters? Are their stereo at formal functions. At T-shirt, that you cannot wait until the concert is you such an addict, 15-year-old girl the worst of times, it's tempting to from Scarborough in a skin-tight think about the exact effect a 30- over? Get this woman a patch and move on!" Ramones T-shirt, that you cannot pound amp would have on the grop­ wait until the concert is over? Get this ing couple beside you. Don't be that express in words just how terrible the decency. After this, we succumb to they are wearing matching fleece woman a patch and move on! couple. fit is. the level of the 'more than annoying.' sweaters. Don't ruin my connection 10. Lastly: those who try to head Instead, listen and \earn my top 10 3. Should-I-stand-or-should-I-sit I barely know any stranger enough to with the band by refusing to hold your bang at the most inopportune concert pet peeves: syndrome, as experienced at the have them climb over my thighs more boyfriend's/life partner's/insurance moments or try to start a mosh pit Wilco concert I went to recently. than two times, and after that, you agent's hand. This is where you are where it is clearly just not going to 1. Firstly, if you happen to be a six- Either we are all standing through an had better be paying for a nice dinner. allowed to use your first escape; so, happen. But then of course, they have foot-11 man with an afro larger than hour and a half set together, or we are 5. "Play Free Bird!" "Stairway!" How get over it together and meet up in the painted themselves into a corner my 14-year-old brother, please don't sitting. Please don't confuse yourself old are you, and what exactly are you bathroom after the second set. because everyone is now watching rush in front of me dramatically so I and me by continually half-getting up doing in public again? Clearly, these 7. This may not be a concert-exclu­ them try to "rock" unsuccessfully so presume either your wife has gone to dance and then sitting back down at jokes have used, over used, regurgitat­ sive comment: but aren't people who they must vaguely mosh to themselves into labour, or your long-lost twin the next tempo change. If you stand ed and then organically composted wear their sunglasses inside (especial­ as a self-duty. I believe the correct from the North has been spotted in to rock your 40-year-old body to the through pop culture since these bands ly darkened venues like - hey! - most rock movement in most situations is the crowd - and then proceed to stand music, I - unhappily, in the nosebleed were first popularized by the mass concerts) totally pretentious? I spied the slow head nod to the music, direcdy in front of me. Even worse is section - cannot see. If you sit, it may media. You will never get a laugh an extremely tool-esque guy at the maybe some slight rocking of the hips asking sensitively after the fact if I can be easier for the whole world to get without an interior monologue Interpol concert sporting huge avia­ - but never the completely lame see. Have some courtesy to those on along together. Make your choice. through someone's mind that says, tors as soon as the band began. What "rock" hand motion as popularized by their tippy toes - we all paid that $15 4. It's hard enough to sit in a "What a moron!" So, desist before it was even more sad was that he didn't Nickleback concerts, which pretty fee to stand next to one another like cramped row created by $20 hockey gets painful for the both of us. Sadly, even enter the concert with them on, much looks pathetic in every situa­ crushed sardines - and step to the arena seats as is, so please don't force what was innovative in the early '60s but as soon as the band started to tion. It is overrated, dismal and no side. us to get up time after time, because must come to a screeching halt at play, he grabbed them out of his little one will ever look good doing it, 2. People who buy the band's T-shirt you think that you may have seen your some point; it is a fact of life. glasses case, polished them with a unless they appear in an Avril Lavigne and then proceed to wear said T-shirt friend Gerry - oh wait, no it's not him 6. Ooh, aren't couples so adorable special cloth and put them on to com­ video. over their previous one as a show of but he does kind of look like the guy when they get into hugely dramatic plete his outfit just in time to party dedication. This is a degree of unpar­ you met in math class. There has to spats in the middle of your third down. If there is no sun, sunglasses, I With these tips in hand, you may alleled lameness - I can barely be a limit of how many times people favourite song on the second to last tend to believe, are rendered fairly now go forth, young grasshopper, to can leave their seats during a set; album? Some people should just useless. (The only exclusion: if you rid the world of pretentious concert probably twice is the absolute limit of never be together, especially when are a B-list celebrity on the verge of schmucks. /B^xm wmcmm eatre huae success « The only way to have a friend, mix of the two. is to be one... » By Jeremy Mason This last week we had an amazing R.w. Emerson Twoonie Master show that featured some wildly funny ^^ -^Jm poetry readings, some standup come­ m Best Buddies Canada dy, a one-woman show, and some Is a national charity improvisation put on by the Improv HI1 S PAST WEDNESDAY AND Club. The event was held in the David dedicated to fostering Thursday (November 24th - 25th) Spinks Theatre and was a huge suc­ friendships between was the year's first Twoonie Theatre. cess with 55 people the first night and MelioristiisTtakinq people with intellectual Twoonie Theatre is an event that is 75 people the second night. People disabilities and students. held up to twice a semester every left the show wanting more and can­ T year, and features theatrical work by not wait for the next Twoonie ^ubmissions fromi We are looking for students. The show is relaxed in Theatre, which will hopefully be held volunteers! nature, with the cabaret-style seating twice next semester. The prices for and a bar that you can access the show were right in the average ofjth^woods! For more Information: throughout the night. It is put on by student's price range, at $2 for TAS www.bestbuddies.ca the Theatre Arts Society, and includes members and $3 for non-members. #.\ or contact the Head Office at a night of short five to ten minute It's hard to find anything else that 1.888-779-0061 skits that are usually student written offers an hour and forty-five minutes 416-531-0003 and performed. The skits range from worth of entertainment for such an [email protected] drama, to comedy, to some kind of affordable price. inTocitnemeiioristfcom Entertainment The Meliorist | Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 11 SpongeBob: Sucking you in Yellow, bucktoothed sponge hits the big time on big screen

Proverbial starfish sidekick Patrick will join him, It was Hillenburg who had the idea to blend live character of Mindy the Mermaid. as they hunt down the missing crown of beloved action and animation. This way, SpongeBob and "Nickelodeon and Paramount were really inter­ King Neptune. his gang are able to interact with the world as we ested in bringing in new cast members," said Stephen Hillenburg, an art lover who currently see it. Hillenburg. "So they were really encouraging us lives with his family in southern California, cre­ "I was interested in this one idea of the charac­ to find some film actors to be in the movie. ated SpongeBob. ters encountering our world, which was some­ [Johansson] really saved us because we really "I have always been interested in painting and thing that we always excluded from them during needed a well-known screen actor. She is an ani­ have drawn my whole life," said Hillenburg. the show." mation lover, so we really lucked out." "But when I was in school, I was interested in Turning what was essentially a 20-minute tele­ Along with Baldwin and Johansson, iconic science." vision show into a feature-length film presented German and former Baywatch star David Hillenburg graduated with a degree in experi­ its difficulties for Hillenburg and his team. Hasselhoff will appear in the film as none other mental animation, and then obtained an under­ "It was truly challenging. Our animation had to than . . . David Hasselhoff. He will be what graduate degree in natural sciences focusing on be more up to snuff. For TV, you can get away Hillenburg describes as the "quintessential life­ marine biology. He used the knowledge from his with more. You usually don't have a lot of time guard." Unfortunately, Hasselhoff will not be undergraduate degree to teach children about to animate things, so it is a little sloppier." lending his vocal talents to film. marine biology at a marine science centre. His The cartoon appeals to both children and There are a plethora of other extremely talent­ experiences teaching youth about sea creatures adults; over 30 per cent of SpongeBob viewers ed artists that contributed to the soundtrack. An seemed to inspire Hillenburg, who combined his are over the age of 20. Hillenburg and his writ­ eclectic mix of bands will be heard during the knowledge of sea life and animation to create the ing team are constantly balancing their writing film. Artists such as Wilco, the Flaming Lips, bucktoothed sponge. so the humour is amusing to adults, but doesn't Avril Lavigne, Ween, and Motorhead all lend "The show is not informative in that it is not an go over children's heads. their music to the film. SubPop recording artists educational show," said Hillenburg. "But there "We really try to focus on character-driven the Shins also wrote a brand new song for the is a lot of things that came out [in the show humour and try to stay away from topical film. from] my interest in marine biology." humour. We usually can tell when something Despite the immense success of SpongeBob Hillenburg was initially skeptical about trying feels inappropriate." SquarePants, despite the millions of fans who By Jared Majeski his luck at a SpongeBob movie* The new SpongeBob SquarePants Movie fea­ tune in every week to catch the show and despite Intercamp "I originally was not interested in doing a movie tures some A-list Hollywood stars providing the millions of dollars the famous yellow sponge (Grant MacEwan College) for the longest time. I think that I find short voices in accompaniment with the regular cast has generated, Hillenburg remains humble. form animation to be really enjoyable and was voices. Academy Award nominee Alec Baldwin "You have to imagine you write a show about a EDMONTON (CUP) content not doing a feature length story while we plays the part of Dennis the Hit Man. Scarlett sponge and you think that maybe a few people were doing the show." Johansson, who wowed critics with her stirring will think it's funny. It is truly shocking. It is to His interest ultimately piqued, and he performance in Lost in Translation, plays the the point where it is bizarre." approached Nickelodeon about the idea to do a HE NEXT CARTOON ABOUT TO JOIN THE full-length movie featuring SpongeBob. ranks of TV-to-movie crossovers is everyone's Hillenburg, and his writing and design teams, favourite yellow sea-creature, SpongeBob were given two years to complete the film. SquarePants. The naive and carefree sponge is "We tried to write a story that had an arc for going on an adventure that will take him to SpongeBob, where he actually goes through a places far away from his home at Bikini Bottom. growth in the movie," said Hillenburg. New art installations hit the SAA6

found discarded furniture, ready to be hauled •IHf'^BHBIJWI- away. She photographs herself seated in these By Jared McKenzie chairs and chesterfields, clothed in a white Entertainment Editor HAZMAT suit. An exploration of the fragile boundary between public and private, Klaptstock's Living Room questions the rela­ tionship we have with our constructed environ­ Daily & Weekly Give-Aways LIAS T WEEKEND CAUSED QUITE THE COMMO- ment. tio•MMn for. the Lethbridge Art Community. Four Hannes Larusson's Take me on consisted of separate galleries held receptions for new two elements: six long boxes placed eight feet or exhibits. I headed down to the SAAG to see liin so above the floor with a person inside each one, inal by Lisa Klapstock (from Toronto) on the and the artist inside a large, black tree-like cre­ SHOW YOUR U main floor, as well as the performance-style ation, with many appendages that one can look Take me on by Hannes Larusson (Iceland) through. This creates a very interactive installa­ UDENT ID & RECEIV upstairs. tion, as the artist shuffles around blindly, and Uminal, a four-part series of photographs, you are encouraged to touch and interact with focuses on the relationship between public and him. A 15% DISCOUNT! private spaces. The first part of the series, I found Take me on interesting because of the Threshold, depicts seemingly private scenes obvious discomfort experienced by those inside (.backyards and patios) viewed through holes or the boxes. They looked genuinely upset that gaps in the surrounding fence. Through the use they were trapped inside boxes, their chins rest­ liveries toll: 4548 of a macro lens and limited depth of field, ing on plastic cups, for two hours. As well, those Klapstock shows us, in great detail, the limits of of us in the crowd were laughing and interacting our own vision. with the giant black tree-thing, which contrast­ Some Rl?fri<^'afl| Apply. Seflif Sforo For Details. The other part of liminul that I found particu­ ed sharply with the stoic discomfort of those Ofhm \tS

By Lance Semak Production Manager

there was nothing underneath. All throat with his gigantic sword. G ' WAR took the stage at U of had gathered to be covered in the Kerry's head was eventually cut clean C's MacEwan Hall again on November blood and urine that GWAR had off, and blood drenched the stage, the 23rd, and if you missed this show, you brewed for the show, and I was at the band, and the crowd. missed out big time. Their stage-show front of the stage for most of it. Everyone knew that 'Bush' would be and lyrics are not for everyone, but for For those of you who have no idea next, and he was. He came strolling those who love blood, guts, gore and who GWAR is, I'll give you a quick out smiling and waving to everyone. morbid humour, this band's live show description. GWAR was part of a The slaves that help GWAR on the is for you. The walls, the stage, and band of space pirates that pillaged the stage were immediately on him. They the speakers were all covered in plas­ galaxy millions of years ago, but they pulled down his pants, and I was sur­ In short, it was more blood, guts and zombie-looking woman then came out tic in preparation for the slaughter were too hardcore for the group. They prised to see that Georgie-boy is so perversions. on stage and told the crowd she was that was about to commence. were imprisoned by their master on well-endowed. But that didn't last 'Bin Laden' came out for "Bring Back pregnant. This is where GWAR gets a This year's tour is entitled "Mock the the planet earth, where they killed long: his penis was cut off, his chest the Bomb", and I was especially happy little weird even to me, and that takes Vote", protesting the American elec­ dinosaurs for fun and raped prehis­ and belly were cut open, and his guts to see him get mutilated. While a lot. I'll make this quick: a mutant tion like so many other bands have toric apes to create the human race. and blood were all over the place. You Oterus laid waste to the terrorist, two baby was extracted, beaten, eaten and done, and it is to plug their new Many years later they were found by must remember that while all this was members of the slave pit used a blan­ thrown around the stage. album, War Party. The album is their manager, Sleazy P. Martini, who happening, GWAR was blasting awe­ ket to repeatedly launch a giant bomb GWAR is extreme, there is no ques­ great, with heavy and catchy songs decided to turn this group of scum- some tunes. into the air at the back of the stage. I tion about it. But I must admit, the like "Bring Back the Bomb", and "You dogs into the planet's newest rock 'n' 'Michael Jackson' also made an was still taking pictures during this entertainment value of the $40 ticket Can't Kill Terror". But enough about roll sensation. appearance that night. I was part of the show, and I couldn't hold is high. If you like theatre perform­ the album; it is GWAR's live show that The concert began with one of my impressed that they not only were back from jumping into the crazy, ances, heavy metal and have a slightly I want to talk about. favourite songs from an old album, able to attain the president of the blood-ridden crowd for much longer. morbid sense of humour, you will MacEwan Hall holds close to 2,000 and 'John Kerry' took the stage to say United States, but they were also able The next song was the last one I would absolutely love seeing GWAR live. people, and GWAR filled the room hello to everyone and put forth his to get one of the country's biggest pop stay out. The amount of effort that is put into with people of all creeds: I saw people political opinions. The lead singer, stars. Michael came out with a special Oterus yelled to the crowd that their live shows is unbelievable, and I wearing strange masks, punkers, Oterus Urungas, brandishing a giant little friend. I won't get too much into GWAR is a proud supporter of abor­ personally think their music is awe­ goths, skids, hippies, men in business penis that sprays a variety of coloured what happened with Michael, but it tion, and the crowd cheered him on. some. At the end of the night most, suits, and a girl wearing nothing but a liquids, listened to Kerry for about a involved his little friend getting raped Anyone who knew anything about including myself, were soaked and semi-transparent teddy - believe me, minute before stabbing him in the and Michael's face being ripped off. GWAR knew what was coming. A red, and highly satisfied. Security makes for ugly hardcore show and he was not going to tolerate this incredible track, "The Year Summer behaviour on the part of security. Ended In June." The song tells of how By London Fester Finally, those involved were calmed vocalist Jesse Zaraska lost his friends Entertainment Contributor down enough to let TPTD finish their and former bandmates Jordan set. Wodehouse and Daniel Langlois to a Up next was one of Calgary's finest drunk driver while they were on tour. hardcore units, Life at Last. Life at After the incredibly moving and P UNK AND HARDCORE FANS WERE Last plays a fast, heavy hardcore with cathartic number, MS left the stage, set up for an incredible two shows last melodic passages interspersed returning for a quick encore after weekend at Calgary's Warehouse. between breakdowns. As this was one much encouragement from the crowd. Slated for the bill was a double dip of of the outfit's last shows, the crowd Sunday night, Too Pure To Die led off one of hardcore's latest and greatest, put extra effort into enjoying this set. again. The crowd in attendance was Wisconsin's Misery Signals, and head­ There was nonstop dancing in the pit, substantially less than that of Friday lining Sunday was Canadian punk leg­ and there were always kids piling on night, but TPTD still put on a good end SNFU. near the front of the stage for sing set, with some in the crowd still ready The Warehouse was packed for alongs. to dance and sing along. Friday's show. The first major act of Edmonton's Nikola Tesla was next to The crowd started slowly sifting in at the night was American straight edge hit the stage. Nikola Tesla's sound this point, though numbers were still (clean lifestyle) band Too Pure To Die. was more chaotic and metallic than shy of Friday night. Misery Signals TPTD played a furious set of loud, the two previous bands. By the end of once again launched their set with a fast, angry, anthemic hardcore. the set, their stage show had eroded bombshell of energy, with fans in the Unfortunately, things got ugly during into sheer madness, with everyone crowd eating it up. This time around, this set. The house security that was going nuts on both sides of the stage. more punk fans were in the crowd Tension was still there between secu­ situated in the crowd was being than Friday night, waiting for SNFU's were carrying objects that could cause bassist, Kyle Johnson. "[We have] no rity and the crowd, but no problems overzealous. It was reported that cer­ set. Most punk fans did not under­ harm. problem with the owner, he's a cool arose. tain bouncers took it upon themselves stand the hardcore dancing that was Playing only one more song, Misery guy," he added, clearing management to rough up patrons when it was defi- After Nikola Tesla was the moment going on, and ill feelings were begin­ Signals and the crowd threw all their from the faults of the employees. Bret ning to develop. Apparently, also har­ nately not called for. Once Bret, of everyone had been waiting for: a per­ energy into this last track, and the and Bert from Too Pure To Die noted formance from Misery Signals. The bouring ill feelings were the TPTD, and his bandmates saw what bouncers kept their distance. that the bouncers were "clearly out ot set was kick-started by the chugging Warehouse security staff, once again. was going on below the stage, they By the time SNFU hit the stage, a line." Though not taking away from energy of "A Victim, A Target." From Fairly early into the set, while just get­ stopped playing and leapt into the thick air of negativity hung over the the need for security in such a situa­ that point on, the dance floor was a ting underway with the beautiful crowd. A scuffle ensued and it looked Warehouse. Though some were apa­ tion, the two stated that most of the flurry of action, and the front of the instrumental "Worlds and Dreams", as if the show may not go on. Bret told thetic to the happenings, the incidents time, "Kids can look out for each stage was consistently packed with Misery Signals left the stage to help the crowd and the bouncer on the had definitely marred the weekend. other." Despite the happenings fans eager to sing along. Playing a stop another security instigated alter­ microphone, after things had settled "If they continue to hire these meat though, the two members asserted, solid, emotionally charged set, Misery cation. Outrage erupted when it was down a bit, that a friend of his had head security guards, we'll never play "We love Canada. You guys are won­ Signals ended their time with the learned that at least a pair of bouncers been recently stabbed by a bouncer, here again," stated Misery Signals' derful." Thursday December 9th, 2004 100% non-toxic Foam iiny • wyiji«p Dress Cods - Beach Attire Bikinis, Bermuda Shorts Bring A TOWEL!!

nightclub www.clubspin.ca - Call 327-8627 *••*¥ ** 420 6th Street South, Lethbridge 0| | pjy| The Meliorist Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 14

I.....I M. K«,,-i<- .....l |.,.„..- !»•...I,l.»y | ,»,»«•.,• What do you

plan on doing for were to go back to the casino it would have to be as poker sharks, avid blackjack players, or Casino Lethbridge roulette masters (or at least have a lot more money than $20 to spend). last class bash? But just because we never won more than a few o N A COLD, BLUSTERY EVENING, WE WERE dollars, or the car (drat), we still managed to looking for something that was both exciting have a lot of fun. For starters, we never stayed 111 and indoors. So, we drove down to the Casino with any particular one-armed bandit for more (the far east-end of town, off Crowsnest Pass) than a few minutes, as we were always actively "Probably going for a little bit of gambling. If you are seeing a searching out "luckier" machines, so we got to pattern that our dates involve places where we try out a couple of different kinds of slots or to the bar." can smoke and drink, then you are very astute. VLTs. Also, we were able to get a good look at Walking into the Casino, you are immediately the serious gamblers, who not surprisingly look -Aamee 1st year greeted by a giant Westcrn-thcmed fountain, as just like the bingo players we encountered on a Kinesiology well as hordes of blinking lights. Further into past date. the casino, most of the space is occupied by slot Another aspect of the Casino that kept the machines, mostly $0.25 and $0.05. As well, evening enjoyable was the restaurant and there are a few tables on the south-east end for lounge, where we decided to spend some time poker, blackjack, and other table games. There after we ran out of quarters (which did not take is also a room devoted entirely to poker tables. very much time at all.) We plopped ourselves Being non-avid gamblers, we decided to stick to onto the comfy stools at one of the high lounge the slot machines. We went to the cash booth tables and, once we were able to block out the LU "Getting with a $20 bill and left with a bucket of quarters. blinking bright lights, we proceeded to have a We hit the slots, and honestly, it wasn't that chat and get caught up. The menu was fairly exciting. Basically, it went something like this: priced, with the cost of most dishes being pretty hammered." put quarter in, pull lever, lose, curse loudly, average with most other lounge restaurants. inhale cigarette, and repeat. It just seemed like Sharing a giant party platter and having one •Danya I st year a quick and simple way to waste money. Sure, if alcoholic beverage and one pop, we ended up Kinesiology we had won more than five quarters it would spending $20 on dinner. have been more fun, but it just didn't have the So even though our date at the Casino could appeal we were expecting. have been called "Not-so-Cheap Date", we still Neither of us has sworn off gambling and casi­ managed to have a good time and enjoy the nos forever, though. We just agree that if we atmosphere - giant stuffed buffalo and all. Your Mom." FUTON CONTEST WINNER!!! and runners up -Keith 4th year u_ Psychology

"Getting in our ounderwea r and dancing on tables." •Meghan & Pretsha I st year Science

Dear Svetlano and Meliorist staff. The semester was going okay for my partner and I when our roommate, Otto the nomadic gnome, was returned to us from yet another abduction by backpacking tourists. This time, with almost no regard to his health, they took him to Amsterdam. Of course, the pictures were great; but three months of rich chocolate, cheese and cheeba left Otto veiy, very blotto. He was too large for his am going to go watch shoebox bed. So, upon Otto's return, we agreed to him using our futon. Otto collapsed on our Stabiio and drink futon, his excess weight busting the futon's main support. Feeling sorry for Otto we agreed to him bunking with us for the night. What a mistake. He smells horrible, on account of his day-job copious amounts of being a front stoop ashtray for our apartment neighbors. We soon kicked him out of the bed. Otto tried to sleep on our broken futon. This was even worse. All night long be loudly com­ 'chocolate milk'. plained about backaches, insomnia and wooden splinters chaffing his ass. We have brought Otto futon shopping to every furniture outlet we could think of. Nothing suits Otto's taste or is within o our budget. Then he saw the Meliorist s contest to win Svetlano's futon. Otto figured if it was -Maya 2nd year good enough for Svetlano is was good enough for him. We are writing this letter out of despera­ tion. Thi' situation is becoming worse. Lately, Otto has been sneeking back into our bed. I wake Arts & Science up in the middle of the night spooning a hairy, smelly gnome! Help us Svetlano, we need that futon! Sincerely, Aaron Chubb and Otto the nomadic gnome Partying." CO Megan 2nd year Management

2nd Place

Niki Standing - The marriage of "futon Take a crap in the 3rd Place woods then go look- Natasha Elder - Since the election I have invited a bunch of American Democrats to move to ng for some action... Canada and I need somewhere for them all to sleep. What? Like you've never done it!" -Gentle Ben 2nd year Mauling FEATURES The Meliorist Thursday, 2 December 2004 Page 15 P°"'X HOROSCOP£S W €€KL^ NlrtMinmml 1'nrp For the week of December 2nd to December 8th By Don Nguyen High Priestess Tiger Lily brings you this week's horoscopes via the Web: http://mem- Advertising Manager bers.amaonline.com/liz/weekly_Online_horoscope.htm

o my Top 5 I had for this week was supposed to be The Top 5 Ways to Get Into Your Profs Pants, how­ ARIES ever, our Editor's sphincter muscles are so tight he won't let it run. I'm kidding; he's actually a pretty good (March 21st - April 19th) guy. Speaking of sphincter muscles, how many of you have ever broken wind in front of other people and they If you are willing, you can make a difference in another person's life. You heard? I'll give you the Top 5 ways to cover up a fart if you accidentally let one rip, or if you can't hold it and are in the role of teacher at this time so be willing to share your great wealth have to let one rip. I've tried these before and from personal experience, they work pretty well. Here they of information. You may find others sharing great wealth with you in ways that you did not expect. Open up to a renewed focus and sense of desire. THE TOP 5 WAYS TO COVER UP A FART. TAURUS (April 20th - May 20th) 5) The cough and fart. (This works as long as your fart isn't louder than your cough.) It is time to bounce back to life. You have just not been you and it is time to rectify that situation. Explore the passions in your world. The results of a 4) Blame the person closest to you. (Girls usually have better luck when they blame a guy. Guys, past investment that you might have forgotten are going be rediscovered blaming a girl usually doesn't work so well, so pick this person wisely.) much to your joy and surprise. You might also find some other lost treasures so be aware. 3) Pretend nothing happened and start talking about the flowers. GEMINI 2) Just take the blame. (Sometimes it's better to take the credit, especially if it's a really good one.) (May 21st - June 21st) ...and the NUMBER ONE way to COVER UP A FART IS... You may not know it but someone is really thinking about you in a very spe cial way. I wonder how you will be surprised. This is also a great time for 1) Leave the room discretely and watch the others blame each other for it. business negotiations as you are in a powerful communication phase. Do not hold back but push forward in expressing your opinions.

Once again, hope you enjoyed this week's installment of my weekly TOP 5. If you have any suggestions for Don's Weekly Top 5, please e-mail me @ [email protected]. CANCER (June 22nd - July 22nd) THIS COLUMN IS INTENDED ONLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES AND DOES NOT PORTRAY ANY PERSONAL OPIN­ It is time to get into the action so you don't miss all the good that is coming IONS OF THE WRITER OR ANY STAFF MEMBER AT THE MELIORIST PUBLISHING SOCIETY. into your world. In fact, you might even surprise you with your success at this time. There is a magic going on around you at this time that can allow you to reinvent the way others perceive you.

LEO (July 23rd - Aug. 22nd) Meliorist Word You are in a very physically strong period. You can accomplish the work of two people in half of the time. You can use this energy to push projects for­ ward. There is no stopping you at this time.

VIRGO Search (Aug. 23rd - Sept. 22nd) When you think everything is just ready to quiet down, the energy starts to rise. You may find that your relationships are just about to take off in a new direction. Don't be so predictable. You are entering a period of time where 'Tis the S eason the cosmos are touching you with good luck. LIBRA Words To Find: F AMI L Y K H S G V N N T R (Sept. 23rd - Oct. 23rd) Old flames may try to restart the fire. However, you would be best to avoid ANGLE T MNETRHAS Y E A O G F any conflict. Friendships are fine but old lovers are to be avoided in order BAKING not to hurt others. The reality of a stable relationship is within your grasp CHANUKAH H V S RLEDKE 0 M O 1 P N but it is up to you to do the work that is required in all partnerships CHARITY CHOCOLATE G I A I E G D U N L J E I Z E CHRISTMAS I P N RLBNNE G H O A T Y SCORPIO COM MERCIA LISM (Oct. 24th - Nov. 21st) DECORATION V E T G I A A A K O A T R S T It is time to reflect upon the wonders of your world and your love. You can DREIDBL discover a world of magic is just a thought away. Keep those thoughts pure DRUNKENESS 1 L A M G K I H N N R E O A 1 and positive for best results. A new friend brings joy into your world for EGGNOG some time to come. ELVES N V C T H I Q C U G O L C M R FAMILY GIVING G E LMTNGYR G N 1 E 1 A SAGITTARIUS JESUS (Nov. 22nd - Dec. 21st) S S A M S G H I D E E S D S H KWANZAA Curl up and enjoy the quiet times. You do not need to be out in the world LIGHTS x UUDREIDE L M I D I C to feel out of this world. You can find your dreams have more than you need MENORAH to make you happy right now. You have had a busy schedule but it is now MISTLETOE S M E R O I E S T O C K I N G time to relax. PARTY REINDEER 0 Q R E I N D E E R D K O H R SANTACLAUS CAPRICORN BDXJETAL O O H C W STOCKINGS D (Dec. 22nd - Jan. 19th) TREE c D ZOAAZNAW K N A K J P There comes a time when you have to say no to the demands of others and that time is fast approaching. Consider how others are blocking your growth and you will make the right decisions. Don't miss the chance to make a new Thanks Walt acquaintance who will become quite a blessing in your life in the months ahead. Last Words To Find: Q* I C K E V M O V S T) D Al.AMHN V<> A N I) S I I I <' II ) I AXIS I OCA IS BAMBI AQUARIUS l)U< Kl Al Mi FINDINGNEMO (Jan. 20th - Feb. 18th) Week's III KM I I S JUNOLEBOOK You have been living tco much in your head and it is time to jump out into 1 ItOANOSTlTCII I.IONklMi the world. Shake people up with your monkey-like humour. Kindnesses per­ 111 11 1 MCKMAll.) formed at this time will return to bless you 100 times over in the years to Answers MAKYI'OITINS MICKEYM0USE MONSII'MSINC come. MILAN PI 11 KPAN l'(H \HOM As ROUINIIUOn fj| ; 1 I'iMilli M I "i PISCES S.SoWWHITE (Feb. 19th - March 20th) I M

Uh, excuse me, sorry, Have you got a light? My spark's going out This city's putting me in a dark cloud And I'm tryin' to get out. All I need is a light. I gotta relearn how to put up a fight as a stand-alone theory. 37 per cent concluded that modern animals where a combination of Gotta forget how to get knocked down God and evolution. And 45 per cent pretty I couldn't afford rent JF^k.:IS I STATED BEFORE, I WATCH TOO MUCH much believed that God planted us here in our My cheque's bounced, and my boyfriend TV. But I think, for the most part, I'm justified modern form -just sans cell phones and IPods. Just isn't running by my side in keeping my eyes glued to the screen. You And I know I need to react never can tell when a giant basketball brawl I like religion. I like the idea of community it This disease has metastasized, might break out, David Letterman will assault instills in people. Of course, I am very aware And the fingers going down my throat are the kind Richard Simmons with a fire extinguisher, or a that most religions have a rather checkered past That bring up illusions straight guy will be jumped by several queer and some, a checkered present. It seems that Of success and control, guys and turned into a slightly queerer version religion is always on trial. Right now, the But I happened upon a blues bar in Oxford Circus of himself. These things just don't happen in biggest issue is Islam versus the world. And, of other parts of my life. They only happen on TV. course, the Catholic Church can't stay out of the Last night and happened to find This summer I caught a program on the news either. They can't seem to keep their There's a lot beyond that negative insight, Discovery Channel called "Humanzee". It was a priests from mistaking alter boys for really short And there's more than survival to life. documentary about an animal that was thought drag queens. Beyond what makes headlines, I'm discovering slapby slap to be half man, half monkey. You bet I set the both religions do contain very positive aspects The only person reliable VCR for this one. I only saw the first half of the in their doctrines. Is myself. program before I had to leave for the pub where There are tons of people who need the sense of And even I'm not. I bartend. It turned out that I really should have belonging to something bigger, or better, than But as I see it, I let myself down less and watched the program all the way through before themselves to be complete. As far as I'm con­ I been alive nearly 20 years, sharing this tale of wild unprotected monkey cerned, that's fine with me; as long as you At most there are only four score left sex, bizarre Nazi experiments, and a humanzee refrain from any religious activity that involves love child. the use of box cutters to hijack aircraft, the So if I'm good it means I found out, after watching the rest of the pro­ digestion of any funky smelling Kool-Aid, or I'm not the best. And I gotta keep pushing. gram, that the humanzee was just a really ugly haranguing me as I try to find my car in the Maybe I can't pass Cosmopolitan's outgoing personality chimpanzee, even for monkey standards. They parking lot of the Duke on Friday mornings. Test, maybe I don't buy Clinique smooth skin mask, did a DNA test and found that the monkey was If you're in the market for a religion these days, 'cause I'd like to decide how calloused my hands get. just that; all monkey and no human. I'm not the hot one is Evangelicalism. They pretty much Maybe some of us weren't born to impress sure why this disappointed me, but it did. I just elected the president of the U.S.A. If that Or earn a material excess, guess a positive is that no monkeys had to expe­ doesn't sell you, there is the whole 'being saved But we got other qualities, like our own minds rience human sex, which is no match (I imag­ from the rapture' that, according to the And real joyfulness. ine) to wild monkey sex. Evangelicalism video series, seems a lot better And I'm seeing things suppressed in other people's eyes, Just imagine if it did happen though. How then sticking around for it. Things not expressed on billboards creepy would that be? You're a monkey in a lab What all these religions have in common is and everything is going fine for a while - their staunch rejection of evolutionism. Or shop windows, things not advertised bananas at one o'clock and electrodes at three Actually, I'm not sure if there is a mainstream That we'd really be nourished by. o'clock - then one day, things just get weird and one that comes even close to trying to embrace Our weapons of mass destruction are coming from awkward between you and a research student. it. I thought till now we were just paying lip The fear the media's peddling You've seen him a hundred times but never service, a little wink-wink and nudge-nudge on To ensure continued empty calorie consumption noticed his smoldering eyes. You take leave of Sunday morning. I guess that was just me. Of And they put humans at your better monkey judgment and give in to course, you are free to believe anything you Opposite ends of a worth spectrum, temptation. It ends as fast as it begins. You want, but WTF! There are responsibilities asso­ Either trying to make us forget out differences both realize it was a mistake and it would have ciated with this freedom - read something. The By putting Coca Cola in every corner never worked out. A few months later, the stu­ Bible is a good read, but so are National Of our planet, dent has moved on and you're left as a single Geographic, Popular Science and Playboy. parent of a...humanzee! Putting creationism on trial right now would be Or highlighting domestic superiority Anyway, even though that didn't happen (nor like putting a white man on trial for killing a And overseas violence, and anything like it), scientists still conclude that black man in 1960s Mississippi. The result is a When the people making decisions unprotected monkey sex could result in the cre­ forgone conclusion independent of evidence. Are the extremists they forget ation of a humanzee. The best evidence of this Screw the billions of man-hours, mountains of That we are all human are mules and ligers; mules being, of course, the research papers, and butt load of mainstream And we all sweat. offspring of frisky stallions and sluty donkeys, published text on the subject. We're now a global community, with the state and ligers being the offspring of exo-species- We need Scripture in the same way we need Of communications. We can, curious lions and really unfortunate (and prob­ art, science and mathematics, but we need to In seconds, reach someone ably not very fast) tigers. commonly segregate science from religion. The In any given nation but we retain This, I feel, is the best case for evolutionism. same way Aristotle, Darwin and the other big­ Our conditioned prejudices. That fact that there is a natural link between gies did. Most of those cats were facing a worse similar species must prove we are all branches consequence then public opinion. We're in the I don't know why we spend so much time of a similar tree. Evolution as a theory has space age and still tethered to the Stone Age. I Stressing about rent always seemed pretty ironclad. It blew my mind refuse to believe that if aliens ever get here we And relationships that evolution doesn't have a lot of backers out­ are going to try to explain how the billions of When if we forget out weaknesses, and side grade six science texts and university Profs. people on this planet are the offspring of two We'd make this global nation In last month's National Geographic, the horny kids who were tricked out of the Garden A true success results of a Gallop pole that asked Americans of Eden by a talking snake with forbidden fruit. To live in. about creationism and evolutionism where pub­ I'm pretty sure the next thing they'd do is con­ lished in an article about Charles Darwin. Only clude that this planet is void of intelligent life, By Carolyn Statius-Muller 12 per cent of Americans believed in evolution and then explore the idea of us as a food source. Uncle Pooch's Secret Recipe 4 servings This recipe comes to you courtesy of the Web http://www.recipezaar.com/recipe/getrecipe.zsp?id= 104262 Baked Chicken Teriyaki 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 2 tablespoons cornstarch 2. In a saucepan, combine all the ingredients except for the chicken. 1 tablespoon cold water 3. Mix well, then cook over medium heat until the sauce thickens. 1/2 cup sugari/2 cup soy sauce 4. Arrange chicken pieces in a greased baking dish (I lined my 1/4 cup vinegar 1/4 cup pineapple juice or orange juice pans with aluminum foil). Pour the sauce all over the chicken and 1 clove garlic, chopped bake until the chicken becomes brown and sticky. fr 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper 5. I baked mine for at least 11/2 hours. J 1 teaspoon of grated fresh ginger 1/4 cup butter 6. Turn the chicken pieces every 15 minutes and baste with sauce. 1 whole chicken, cut into pieces, or chicken breasts FEATURES The Meliorist Thursday, 2 December 2004 Page 17

By Paul Lindgren - Artist

IVERYONE LOVES HEROES ON SOME LEVEL, whether it's out of amazement at their super powers or appreciation for their selfless efforts to make the world a better place. We wish we could be like them, but unfortunately, we can't - no one can. I think my Action Figure Portraits are a dream come true for anyone who ever wondered what it would be like to be a hero; not the part where you have super powers or save the world from certain destruction, but the part where you get a your own action fig­ ures and sugary breakfast cereals with your face on the box. I've also recently been working on a series of female action heroines from various fantasy genres. These aren't the kind of 'heroines' that you see in Indiana Jones movies who get grossed out by exotic foreign delica­ cies and scream a lot. These are all tough, independent, a**-kicking women. There's just something about a woman who can kick a**. I whole-heartedly believe that women are just as capable as men at kicking a**, but unfortunately, you don't see it happen very often. Society's standards for a**-kicking and sex seem to be much the same: men are encouraged to do it often and to as many people as possible, but women don't do that sort of thing - it's just not ladylike. I'm not sure right now if this series is about girl- power or just because I'm turned on by a**-kicking women, but I think it's probably a little of both. If you've got any questions or com­ ments about my artwork, or if you're interested in having your own per­ sonal Action Figure Portrait made, drop me a line at [email protected] .

&JB? J&fF'JE'^ ... ^*i^H8fcssJS§_S5 usually asks for a man named Jack The phone calls are really quite Webb. Because the calls always came funny to listen to, and they will make By Jaime Tremblay from the same number, a phone you feel more sane just hearing them. Office Assistant booth, Jeff would know when to start In voice mail number one, CDG asks recording. To hear the calls you need for Jack Webb and then proceeds to to download RealAudio, which has a sing nonsense syllables to the answer­ http://www.joynk.com/cdg/ free download available on the site if ing machine. In voice mail number you don't already have it. two, CDG sings the song "I Want The site also has a disclaimer stating Money". Call number five is a little that both parties are aware that the long, running for 13 minutes and 29 HE CREATOR OF THE WEB SITE, phone calls are being recorded. Jeff seconds, but it is very entertaining. Jeff, decided one day to record the does not know who Crazy Drunk Guy Crazy Drunk Guy talks about his weird phone calls he was receiving is; despite his attempts to find out music career and drinking rut-gut lrom a certain gentleman because he who CDG is, CDG has decided to whiskey, and asks .Jeff about his busi­ thought they should be enjoyed by all. remain anonymous. In phone call ness. Mostly it is just gibberish, but is A man had begun phoning his office number one, when Jeff asks CDG always hilarious. extension and then decided to keep up where he is calling from, CDG If it is wrong to find this man's obvi­ with the phone calls, sometimes to answers "Earth, planet Earth, the ous insanity funny, then I don't want just check in with Jeff, even though he third planet from the sun." to be right.

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Vcu*/ cetri st/orrr/t yotsr T~L-f='s to tlf<£i£ttiGmeliorist. oom or v/s// oar \Asoosffo at \A/\si/\A/.tti&m&lior-i£st.com/'tlfs. Htm X\tf T~L-f='s t\ZlLJST oo SLJ&mitt&Ct \s/& e» \ye3fict cs/ot/7 om&il etococjrtt F't&siso noto tfi£tt &/£3/JO'orot/^ or offortsfyso T'L-f^'s may Ho ^ct/toct or omittoo' Allison C. - 1 want to be much more you're hot. too! to the man of my dreams psych boy. I ing myself in your arms. Love from ed to declare you legally dead. than your roommate. If that kiss was like your roof rack, civic nation! rep­ your Western cab friend, .lenn any indication then I think our rela­ Just b/c no one TLF's you doesn't resent Why does Final Fantasy I+II Dawn of tionship is ready. Your Roommate. S. mean you're not fabulous. Don't let Melissa b, stop bugging me. Souls (Game Boy Advance) have to those fussy bastards get you down. me + w. axl rose = pumpin. come out right before exams? JOIN THE IMPROV CLUB! Every Anyone interested in making new mondaj 4-6 _ SU ballrooms. $5 LPIRG - student funding for student gators don't sweat. friends, meet us at Mac's anyday at Kelly i see in the mornings some­ yearly membership or Si per time, research, events, projects in the Midnight. Because THE THING IS times: you're awesome! but are you info (<' uotl [email protected] publics interest, email-pirgi" uleth.ea. Oh how I miss thee Swami that we are lonely single? visit lpirg.org 1MPROVS: Murder Mystery Night, "i'm so mad, i jus wanna punch her happy one month jess, i love you this last class bash no one should go Sat. Dec 4 @ 7pm. $5 members/$l0 People need to understand that some lights out in ma own face"- zamariah. with all of my heart, chris. home alone!!! 11011. Pizza afterwards. info@ of us actually work in the study centre. aka :'/./'. uoll lmprov_ liotmail.com Stop socializing! hey chris. i saw you with jenn the to the blonde in soc who did the video when will i ever find my true love? a other day, i think we should take a presentation, are you single? He sucked at the Western cab who to the girl who lent me her calculator heavy metal star/fabio named break. Jess. P.S. I thought we loved was the idiot who hired him again for in the macro econ midterm! You're diego....he's out there! each other To the Question asker in Compu Sci the Christmas cab?? also lam is too really cute, I'd sure like to get to know 1000, dont talk to me, dont say how early you better you're all excited to be new mom for a Anyone in need of a Doctor call, Dr. funny these tlfs, just SHUT week & be burstin out, that's all Oliver Seaman, he can be found in E- UP...please It was s**tty music, music that To all joo pwnys out there, joo know ...look, let me put it to you this 214. skipped, poor light show, and he only who joo r! Sky dumping is for way...you're fired and to the Cute girl i sit beside in played till one that is RAPE for what noobs, don't do it for joo will get wet! I love mence Compu Sci, I love you baby!!! Jamie Rez students paid! yvonna tinkle: you, me, t-dot, old ed's to the sexual exhibitionists in history - then, ed's warehouse, be there.-1 to To Dr. DO on Detox, Stuart wants me Aurrghh! It's driving me nuts! If u took my suede coat from B660 of r n' r, I feel violated, you repulse the ara. to write and tell you to Shut-up. You last tues, plz bring it to L&F, i dont me, save me Bcnte! sick pig Proper door etiquette! One door for have S for another and...brrrr Girls in those online dating sites are going out, one for coming in! Figure it I wish I had died at the rolling stones full of sh*t. You're not easy going or Kaisie, God does not just love you, he out! Im a lion Rooooaaarrr! riot so I wouldn't have to sit through fun loving You're just a B!tch :) loves us all. the demoralizing display of tonsil Antenna ball Uieif! Your heartless! There are so many places to meet peo­ hockey I want you in the wrong way. What's T.L. stop sending "Stuart Little" ple. However, an elevator is definatly tomorrow if you've got today? TLF's, they're not funny and I find Sponge, shower curtain, bird, screams an unusual one. :) where is the censorship in class, them insulting. and giggles. Don't wet yourself where is the justice, why must my eyes Doesn't everybody just want 5 more ennaeell AF: nearly two years?! who'd'a be sacrificed by your incessent grop­ minutes in bed? To the kid who messed up Detox's thunkit? CM ing in class secret santa: Last initials work Anybody heard from Lobsterboy late- That crazy AZN, J-Pan, keeps stealing WONDERS. ly? Hey, you there - yes, you - in the one last thing, to the randy raunchy all my rice, and i want it back ABCD1234 class in the n row, the one rock n rollers, I hate you. Dear kid who lives in E232: We of HAPPY 23 SLEEPS TILL CHRIST­ with socks and/or eyes and/or hair: Chris I love watching you and imagin­ Detox barely see you, and have decid­ MAS!!!

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^>»^. . UVJjfJtil} ^^sW&W •-sflWW EUULmaNGsmmaiiiis Wum / %e / l/todn / Qin s I The Meliorist _j _h_jrsday1_2rjecember 2004 | Page 19 SPORTS The losing streak is over

bis first of two and Justin Kanigan banged home first lead of the game during a goal-mouth scrab­ point, the 'Horns were able to secure the tie and a loose puck. ble in the third. Chad Rideout would be credit­ take three of four points from the Thunderbirds. Thirty seconds into the second period the ed with the goal, while Tim Legrandeur was The Pronghorns will have little time to bask in 'Horns extended their lead to 3-1. Tim given the nod for the assist. Ashley Todd would the glory of their successful series against UBC, LeGrandeur's wrap-around found Jesse Boyd's pick up his second of the night, and tied the as they head up to Edmonton this weekend to five hole to take the two-goal advantage. After score at three goals apiece with just over ten square off against the U of A Golden Bears. The giving up three goals on only 12 shots, Boyd minutes remaining. The Thunderbirds con­ Bears lead the Canada West Mountain Division would be pulled at the next stoppage. The trolled much of the remaining time and had a with a 13-1 record, and hold the number one 'Horns pushed their lead to 4-1 off the stick of glorious chance to win the game in regulation ranking in the nation. The 'Horns don't return Dan Kitching and then to 5-1 when Grant time on a late powerplay, but to no avail. home until after the Christmas break, when they Ranslam potted his first CIS goal in the second The 'Horns held on for much of the overtime as welcome the same UBC Thunderbirds back to period. Chad Grisdale cut the lead to 5-2 with well, as the teams combined for a single shot. the Nicholas Sheran Ice Arena on January 7th only forty seconds remaining in the period. With neither team willing to give up the single and 8th. Lethbridge peppered the T-Birds' goalies in the second, firing 16 shots, to UBC's seven. Headed into the third frame, Ryan Epp and Big Rock Pronghorn Athlete of the Week Jarrett Winn traded power play goals 23 seconds apart early, and Billy Katelnikoff rounded out Press Release the scoring at the 7:31 mark on the breakaway to Big Rock Pronghorn Athletes of the Week earn his second of the night. This first game of the series saw the 'Horns score more than five for the week ending Sunday, November 21st, 2004. University of Lethbridge goals for only the third time this season. Athletics Press Release When the dust settled on Saturday night, the Big Rock Female Pronghorns found themselves one point ahead Athlete of the Week: of the Thunderbirds for the final playoff spot in Kim Bridge - the Mountain Division, after the teams settled Women's Basketball ItFTEI R LOSING ELEVEN STRAIGHT GAMES, for a hard fought 3-3 tie. the University of Lethbridge Pronghorn Men's For the second consecutive night the Hockey team erupted on the weekend to take Thunderbirds jumped out to a 1-0 lead when Fourth year guard Kim Bridge earned the Athlete of the Week nomination after her solid weekend versus the number four-ranked U of C Dinos. Friday night, Kim was a perfect 3 for three of four points from the visiting UBC Eric Clark picked up a power play maker only 3 from behind the three-point line, en route to scoring fourteen points during the 76-66 Thunderbirds. Friday night saw the 'Horns 1:24 in. Billy Katelnikoff picked up his first of upset of the Dinos. Kim continued her exceptional shooting Saturday night, going 3 for 4 come away with a 7-3 victory, while Saturday two on the night only seconds after a UBC penal­ from behind the arc, and scored a team high 11 points. All weekend, Bridge was solid on the night saw the two teams skate to a 3-3 draw. The ty had expired to square the score at 1-1. The defensive end, having to match-up against the high-octane Dinos' shooting guards. two games result in a one-point edge for the Thunderbirds jumped back ahead 2-1 on their Pronghorns over the Thunderbirds in the con­ second power play goal of the first period when Big Rock Male test for third place in the Canada West stand­ Ashley Todd banged home a loose puck, after a ings. point shot slipped behind Jamie McCaig. The Athlete of the Week: On Friday night, the Thunderbirds struck first Horns tied the score on a power play of their Jamie McCaig - at the 3:17 mark, after Jamie McCaig misplayed own in the first, as Billy Katelnikoff walked off Men's Hockey a puck behind his OWTI net and a John Kress the side boards and blasted a shot short side. Senior goaltender Jamie McCaig had a strong weekend despite the 'Horns dropping both wrap-around found the open net. The 'Horns The first intermission saw the teams headed to contests in Regina. During Friday night's 3-2 overtime loss, Jamie made 24 saves, including responded in a big way with two goals in under the locker room tied 2-2. a diving stick save late in the game to keep the game knotted at two. McCaig shook off an twenty seconds to take a one goal lead into the After the two teams combined for 18 shots in a early goal Saturday and put forth a solid game-making 22 saves. On the weekend, Jamie had first intermission. Billy Katelnikoff picked up scoreless second period, the 'Horns took their a save percentage of just under .900.

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880 HERITAGE BLVD. WEST 394-3800 SPORTS The Meliorist Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 20 Finally, a win! 'Horns top Bears led the charge, dropping 22 points on the night. Nick Baldwin was named Player of the Game, as he added 14 points, and pulled 22 rebounds to By Craig Hamilton go along with three blocks and four steals. Four Sports Editor Golden Bears managed ten points on the night, while all but two players score. On Saturday night, the 'Horns came into the gym to the cheers of the biggest crowd of the HE PRONGHORN MEN'S BASKETBALL TEAM season, and they did not disappoint. Knowing struggled for seven games before finding their that they would have to work for a win, both winning ways, and when they did, the fans were teams hit the floor with an up-tempo game that grateful. After a two game home scries against delighted home fans. After taking a slight early the University of Alberta, the 'Horns men came lead, the U of A was held scoreless by the away with a split to give them a 1-7 record on the Pronghorns for more than four minutes as they season, but a sweep was only inches from reali­ jumped out to a 32-15 lead. The 'Horns forced the Bears into tough possessions as they stifled ty. Or Friday night the 'Horns and Golden Bears any shots that went up, and out-rebounded the took to the floor in a highly entertaining game visiting team by a healthy margin. that saw both teams struggle for every point that After taking a 37-19 lead into half time, the they earned. After taking a number of early Bears came storming back in the second, pulling leads in the first half, the U of A allowed the to within two points after eight minutes of play. 'Horns to come back t:me and time again. After However, after allowing the Bears to pull to 48- going ahead early, the 'Horns came back to take 46, the 'Horns went on a run of their own, scor­ the 12-10 lead. Lethbridge soon found them­ ing ten unanswered points to go up 56-46. selves down 21-14, only to force a run that ended Just when it seemed that the 'Horns had sealed in a 22-22 tie with jus* less five minutes remain­ the win for the U of L, the Bears came back with ing. one final charge, but it proved to be too little too The Bears climbed to a 34-26 halftime lead late. The Pronghorns ended the game with an thanks to some wonderful team play that saw exclamation point, as Ali Andeku stole the hall eight of ten players hit the score sheet. The with only seconds remaining on the clock, taking 'Horns relied on their veterans to take the brunt it back and throwing down a monster dunk at of the responsibility early, as Tim Whitehead led the buzzer to take the 77-66 win. the team with 12 points heading into the break. Nick Baldwin led the U of L, finishing with 22 The second half found the 'Horns making yet points and 14 rebounds, while Andeku scored all another drive for the lead, as a Scott Mackinnon Big plays for both teams led to an even battle, within a single point, 62-61. An ensuing foul and of his 13 points in the second half. Whitehead trey put the LT of L up for the first time since the but the U of L pulled away as the second half two free throws later, the 'Horns were on the los­ also broke double digits, scoring 10. midway point of the first half. The 'Horns con­ wore on, jumping out to a 62-55 lead. After giv­ ing end of a 63-62 score, with 6.3 seconds Both the Men's and Women's Basketball team tinued the assault from beyond the arc in the ing up two more points, the 'Horns took a turn, remaining. It was Scott Mackinnon who drove will take the next month off, and will return to second half, as Todd McClenaghan and Rich and couldn't look back. With Lethbridge up 62- the lane, and put up a shot that just rimmed out action on January 7th and 8th, when they will Humphrey added to the stats by hitting from 57 and playing defence, the Bears' Gavin as the buzzer sounded. travel to Manitoba to face both the U of W, and deep to take a 45-43 lead. With each basket, the Fedorak put up a shot from deep that fell. Ali Despite the close opening loss, the 'Horns the U of M. The 'Horns will return home on opposing Bears came back and seemed to match Andeku was called for a foul on the shot, result­ proved that they were in the same caliber of play January 21st and 22nd, when they welcome the the home-team efforts. ing in a four-point play that brought the Bears to as the elite teams in Canada West. Whitehead University of Calgary to town. Pandas sweep 'Horns Sask split for 'Horns women game winner for the 'Horns. Robin Ulrich and University of Lethbridge By Craig Hamilton Theresa Iginla, who knotted one goal apiece, Athletics Press Release Sports Editor led the Huskies on the scoreboard. Erin McKay was between the pipes for the U of S, and she managed 23 saves on the night. HE UNIVERSITY OF LETHBRIDGE Saturday night's contest saw the Huskies TWO GAME SET FOR THE UNIVERSITY OF Pronghorn Women's Hockey team took to the come out firing, while the 'Llorns did their best Lethbridge Pronghorns proves just how close the road last weekend in hopes of jumping a few to earn the weekend sweep. The U of L man­ play in Canada West is. After defeating the spots in the Canada West ranking, but after aged to find the net first, as Jacqueline Stroeve fourth-ranked team two weeks in a row, the splitting the two-game series with the scored in the first period to take the 1-0 lead. 'Horns dropped two games to the winless University of Saskatchewan Huskies, things Heading into the second, the Huskies came University of Alberta Pandas. are looking more or less the same as they did storming back, while Stroeve netted one more The Lethbridge Pronghorns found themselves before they left. The 'Horns, who now sit with to take a 2-2 tie into the third frame. Two more favoured entering Friday's game, but couldn't a 2-4-3 record, are in a three-way tie with the U goals in the third period allowed the Huskies to seem to muster the emotion to match the desper­ of S and the University of Manitoba, all of come away with the 4-2 win. Robin Ulrich, ate U of A Pandas. The winless Pandas rode the whom have earned seven points on the season. Laurie Alexander and Jill McCann found the clutch shooting of Carly McLennan to stay one Friday night's contest saw the 'Horns do bat­ net for the Huskies in the win. Both teams saw step ahead of the 'Horns all night long. Trailing tle with the Huskies, earning a 3-2 win over the their goalies, the Huskies' Chantale Tippett, by five at the half, 32-27, the 'Horns quickly host U of S. The Huskies came at the 'Horns and the 'Horns' Jenna Stanton, turn away 26 found themselves down 15, five minutes into the with a powerful offensive attack, but goalie shots on the night. second frame. Jenna Stanton turned away 27 shots on the The Pronghorns return to the ice after the night to come away with the victory. The scor­ Ciana Gregorio came off the bench to give the U Christmas break, when they will head to UBC ing threat for the U of L came in the form of of L a spark as she connected for seven straight to to face the Thunderbirds on January 7th and three 'Horns veterans, as Sam Ward, Jodie bring the Horns within eight points. But, that The second half went back and fourth through­ 8th. The T-Birds are sitting in third spot in Herman, and Janay Chipman all found the was as close as they got, as the teams traded out, with neither team gaining much momen­ Canada West, with a 3-4-2 record, which is back of the net for the U of L. Ward scored on blows down the stretch and the Pandas pulled tum. The Horns had a two-point lead entering good enough for eight points. The 'Horns don't a shorthanded attempt, while Chipman's goal away on foul shots with under a minute remain­ thi' final possession, but a 'Horns foul with less return home until January 28th and 29th, midway through the third turned out to be the ing. The Pandas used a great display of time than a second put Patricia Ariss on the line to when they welcome the Huskies to Lethbridge. management, utilizing the shot clock late in the knot the score, and send the game into overtime. game, forcing the 'Horns to make desperate The 'Horns came out tiring in the overtime peri­ plays. od, as Jen l.oraas-Pletsch drilled a shot from Leading the way for the Pandas was Stephanie beyond the arc to take the early lead. The Pandas Stolk and Kristin Jarock each with 10. managed to hit clutch shots when it mattered Informative Filler McLennan was perfect from the field going 7 for most to take control over a sloppy overtime, and endeared him to athletes. NHL fans should 7 with 18 points. The 'Horns were led by Jessica squeaked out an 80-78 victory. With less than look to St. Raphael The Archangel; he's the Lynch who had 17, while Gregorio added 13 in ten seconds remaining, Michelle Smith nailed a By Craig Hamilton patron saint of happy meetings. More on this the loss. trey to take the lead, and a last second shot from Sports Editor soon. On Saturday night, the U of L Pronghorn the 'Horns failed to force another OT. - If you've got nothing better to do, check out women missed an excellent opportunity to put a The two teams combined to go 2 for 7 on free Jose Mesa's player page on strangle hold on early season playoff positioning. throws in OT. Patricia Ariss led the Pandas with www.mlb.coni. He was born in 1966. Cheek The'Horns were swept by the U of A Pandas with 18. while Jamie Tsehritter scored a game high of out when his first kid was born. 1 won't ruin it an 80-78 overtime loss. 21 for the 'Horns. Lethbridge had three oilier he Pope has announced that the for sou, but 1 do have one question. Who were The 'Horns stalled much better than the previ­ players hit double digits. Vatican will set up a sports department, stating the girls in his school? The Horns will return to play on January 7th, ous night, building a 22-11 lead prior to die mid thai sports are "a means of evangelization." In when thej travel to Winnipeg to face the U of w Much appreciation to the fans at the basket­ point of the firsl hall, but the Pandas stormed • on were wondering, the Patron Saint of before heading to play the University oi ball game On the weekend. It's about time thai back to enter the half down only two points. 38- Athletes is st. Sebastian. He was shot with Manitoba on the 8th. people started to make some noise this year. 30. arrows, but lived, thus his physical enduranci PORT YOUR PRONGHORNS! The Meliorist | Thursday, 2 December 2004 | Page 21 SPORTS The hits just keep on comin' - NFL Week 12 on one of two Thanksgiving Day games. Playing for less than three quarters, Manning lit up the Lions coverage by tossing for 236 yards and six touchdowns, which pushes his total on the sea­ son to 41. Marino threw for 48 touchdowns in 1984. Should Manning maintain his current pace, he will finish the season with close to 60 TD's. The Lions could do no right on the afternoon, as Joey Harrington went 14-23 for 156 yards, and his replacement, Mike McMahon managed only 11 completions for 105 yards and an inter­ ception. Manning will face the Tennessee Titans on Sunday, and with the 11th ranked pass defence in the NFL, his streak of five straight games By Craig Hamilton Sunday in a battle to two teams on vastly differ­ throwing four touchdowns may come to an end. Sports Editor ent paths. The win moved the Chargers into top The difficult initiation into the NFL continues spot with an 8-3 record, while the Chiefs fell to for the New York Giants' Eli Manning, who faced 3-8. ing. Kelly Holcomb threw for over 400 yards the stifling defence of the Philadelphia Eagles on Drew Brees has come into his own with the Sunday. The Eagles chipped away at the Giants, tAYBE THE AMERICAN PILGRIMS SHOWED with five touchdowns, and lost. Cincinnati up a month after the Canadian pilgrims, or scored 27 points in the first half, more than they Chargers, as he picked apart the secondary for and came out with a 27-6 win over the battled maybe they thought that turkey and football have scored in any single game this season. The 378 yards and two touchdowns on the afternoon, rookie QB. The Eagles defence held the younger went together better in November than October. Bengals' RB Rudi Johnson ran for 202 yards, while Kassim Osgood pulled in two passes for 92 Manning to only 14 passing yards in the second Either way, with the Yanks celebrating averaging 7.8 yards per carry. The first five yards. On the other side of the field, Trent Green half, en route to claiming their fourth consecu­ Thanksgiving last week, it gave us in the Great possessions of the second half resulted in touch­ threw for 208 yards, with no touchdowns and tive NFC East title. White North a chance to enjoy the day as well, as downs. The longest scoreless stretch in the one interception. Philadelphia QB Donovan McNabb finished the two games took to the field last Thursday, while game lasted only 8:37. Coming into the fourth quarter, the two teams day with 18 of 27 completions for 244 yards, were knotted at 17. Kansas City struck first, as while also scoring on a one-yard run. Manning, the rest of the NFL caught up on Sunday. With The Bengals assaulted the Browns on the Derrick Blaylock ran 22-yards for a touchdown on the other hand, finished 6 for 21 for 148 yards some big match-ups in week 12, there were some ground; running for 253 yards on the day, while to take the lead before Brees tossed an 18-yard and two interceptions. outstanding games played, especially where few Carson Palmer was effective through the air, laser to Antonio Gates to go ahead 24-23. The thought they would find one. completing 22 passes for 251 yards and four ensuing kickoff saw Dante Hall run 96-yards for The big guns in the NFC and the AFC continued TD's. The Browns managed only 76 yards on the Other scores in the NFL: the return touchdown, followed by a two-point to do damage to their opponents, as AUanta, ground, and while Holcomb had a career day, his Dallas 21 - Chicago 7 conversion. Another touchdown and a late field Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Indianapolis and New efforts simply weren't enough to pull out a win. Carolina 21 - Tampa Bay 14 goal put San Diego up for good. Pittsburgh 16 - Washington 7 England all managed to roll through one more Both teams gave up big plays and missed Of their remaining five games, the Chargers New England 24 - Baltimore 3 week. Meanwhile, Houston and Oakland man­ assignments that resulted in large gains. Rather face only two teams with winning records, while Miami 24 - San Francisco 17 aged key upsets, while San Diego and Buffalo than an NFL game, it appeared at times to the Chiefs close out the season facing a group of Oakland 25 - Denver 24 proved that they are for real in the AFC. resemble a game of two-hand touch, as missed desperate teams looking to make a charge for the Minnesota 27 - Jacksonville 16 However, the game that no one saw coming was tackles and blown coverage were rampant. The post season. Houston 31 - Tennessee 21 an intrastate barnburner between Cleveland and teams combined for 49 first downs and 966 total Peyton Manning continued his assault on Dan Atlanta 24 - New Orleans 21 Cincinnati. yards. Marino's single-season touchdown record, as his Buffalo 38 - Seattle 9 Coming into week 12, there had only been two The Bengals move to 5-6, while the Browns Indianapolis Colts bested the Detroit Lions 41-9 NY Jets 13 - Arizona 3 games in the history of the NFL that had broken drop to 3-8, placing them third and fourth the 100-point barrier, and both of those took respectively, in the AFC North. place about 40 years ago. After the dust settled One of the surprise teams of 2004 is the San on Sunday, the third 100+ game was something Diego Chargers. The Chargers, who have not of a surprise. The anemic offences of the finished with a regular season winning record Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals com­ since 1995, have fired off five straight wins en bined for 106 points as the Bengals battled for route to the top spot in the AFC West. The latest the 58-48 win. casualty on the trip was the Kansas City Chiefs, The numbers on the game are simply stagger­ who were downed by the Chargers 34"3t on For the love of hair. LA School of Hair Design will teach you Team gives up points to protest new uniform rules hair design essentials in 37 weeks to get University of Alberta volleyball players defy Canada West you started in the career of your dreams. ban, change courtside in defiance doing what they feel is the principled decision, and I back them on that 100 per cent. "It's LA By Andrew Renfree something we've been doing for about 15 years," The Gateway (University of Alberta) she added, emphasizing the Pandas' plan to chool continue their protest for the foreseeable fHair EDMONTON (CUP) future. "It's the players' choice to change their Design jerseys, and we really haven't been convinced & Beauty that there's a need to change that routine." Fifth-year setter Larissa Cundy explained the Salon decision to defy the new rule and accept the HE UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA VOLLEYBALL 320-2228 • 3118th st. s team took a stand against the Simon Fraser penalty was made collectively. University Clan over a recent weekend, winning "Our coach allowed us to make a choice," she both of their matches, but the Pandas also took said. "We were kind of empowered to think a stand against a controversial new Canada about it ourselves. For the rookies, we told West Universities Athletic Association regula­ them, 'The choice is yours, and if you have a big tion. problem with taking the point, then we'll all go Traditionally, university volleyball teams have change outside the gym.'" changed from their practice T-shirts into their Cundy suggested the players were upset as game jerseys at courtside just before matches. much by the way the new rule was imposed as But over the summer, the Canada West confer­ by the rule itself. After apparently receiving a ence decided to ban the practice, which complaint changing jerseys at team benches is momentarily reveals the sports bras of female "risque," the conference decided to ban the players. The new regulation applies to all practice without any consultation, Cundy said. Canada West sports, but the original motion "For them not to even come to the athletes, or referred only to women's volleyball. the coaches even, and get our input...it just Opposition to the rule is widespread among changed, so that's why we're angry about it." teams, but most have complied with it. Only Cundy added, based on principle and the rela­ the Pandas have decided to defy it and continue tively insignificant one-point punishment for to change at courtside before matches. As a violations, the Pandas will continue to defy the result, they've been penalized one point at the rule. beginning of each of their matches this season. "If the punishment stays the same, I think we Despite the penalty, Pandas head coach Laurie would have to stick to doing it to make our Eisler said she supports the protest against a point," she said. "If they decide to make the rule that's been criticized as paternalistic. punishment more severe, we might have to "It's unfortunate that it's become something as reassess the situation, so we're not sure what's large as it has," she said. "Our athletes are going to happen." SPORTS The Meliorist Page 22 NCAA Basketball: The "Glue Guys !! NBA Quickie freshman. Using his great athleti­ prefers to slash to the goal or take mid-range J's, which opens more cism, passing skill, and touch on ByDubbJay ByDubbJay twelve footers to earn increased min­ opportunities for McNamara. Sports Contributor Sports Contributor utes as a sophomore, he averaged 7.2 Tough around the basket as well, at 6- points and 6.8 rebounds per game. 5 he can compete with the big bodies Levy seems like a perfect complement and shoot over the top of smaller to the Deacs' three-guard lineup that guards. He's a tremendous rcbound- er and passer, capable of playing IRST OFF, I WOULD LIKE TO IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED IN features All-American guards Justin American College Basketball, don't Gray and Chris Paul, and beefy big small forward, shooting guard, and apologize for the absence of the Dubb read this article. If you don't watch man Eric Williams. Critics say he point guard. Jay article from this fine, free, fish March Madness, this article is about needs to gain weight, but so did Chris Illinois PG Dee Brown could be the wrap. I'm sure both of you are devas­ as much of a waste of your time as one Bosh. best basketball player not in the tated (sorry Mom and Nicole). The focused on counting a word (I'm just After losing Chris Bosh the year NBA, and the Fighting Illini could high precedence I place on research kidding. I love you Jason, that article before getting blown out in the win a national title because of it. and quality in the content have had a lot of info). But what I intend to national championship game last Luther Head and big bald James turned my deadlines into coma since...well Kobe and Shaq basically. highlight in this column is not the best year, Georgia Tech is back. The rea­ Augustine have both improved, and lines, now three times running. Why (No offence to Yao and McGrady - players on the teams with projected son? The return of their entire the Glue...James Powell Jr. is the am I telling you this? Because you well, at least until they stat producing success, but the guys who make those starting lineup. Guards B.J. Elder heart. Powell is a slasher with good both want to know my thoughts on some.) players recognizable - "Glue Guys" and Jarret Jack are the stars, averag­ moves in the paint, and a solid spot- the NBA, of course. With Ryan Reed My favourite part of the "hot list" is whose sole reason for occupying a ing over 30 points a game combined. up jumper. His limited fundamen­ out like Ron Artest, I feel it's impor­ the fact that they are all going to stay scholarship is to make his teammates The seat filler, however, is Isma'il tal skill is more than compensated by tant to roll like Jamal Tinsley as there, because they all are playing better, not make a million plus. Let's Muhammad. He's Tech's best his floor burn addicted mindset. best I can and keep the furiously busy incredible team basketball. So you face it: you can't win a championship perimeter defender and is famous Kentucky is about as balanced a students of U of L up to speed. As far know what, throw the Indiana Pacers without Dennis Rodman or Mario for his rim-rattling dunks. He also team as you will find in the NCAA. as speed, well, I'll make it quick. up there too because that is unfolding Ellie. These players are the best contributed by pairing up with Luke The versatility of F Chuck Hayes is Once again, thank you NHL, because as the most tantalizing display of defenders on their teams: they Schencher for second on the Jackets most notable. A former All-American I've already watched about 50 NBA bouncing back since Grant Hill...so rebound, make shots when they get in rebounds. Last season, he even High School football player, Hayes games and the 12th month is so new not that long, but still keep a couple 'em, and leave college with jewelry came developed offensively (hit 17 of possesses a great mix of strength and we're not even on first name basis yet. eyes on it. that they're actually allowed to own. 21 shots in one stretch), and has 10 athleticism. He uses his agility to go (Also, thanks to Remi and his The cold document - the Hornets We'll start with Jamaal Levy, of the and change a game already this young over the top of opponents with more American satellite.) and Nets are flat out garbage without number one ranked Wake Forest season. size and flat out runs over everyone The hot list - Jay's got me...the their respective point guards, and Demon Decons. A native of Panama, Two years after 'Melo, the Syracuse else. About him only being 6"6' - SUPER Sonics are hotter than the they're both watching their playoff Levy also lived in Costa Rica. He Orange are front-runners again. well, he's also an excellent face-up butt side of mercury. After losing possibilities fade fast. As for the played for Panama's under-21 team in Gerry McNamara, who finished his shooter range. He's a great passer, their first game by thirty, they've lost Bulls, Hawks, and Warriors, well 2000 in the pre-World first dunk of his five-year college a genuine factor on the glass (he is once since. Ironically, or I guess fit­ there's flat out no excuse for being Championships. After playing one career last week, lottery bound one of the top rebounders in the SEC), tingly, the Suns are here as well, with worse than an expansion team whose year of North American basketball, Hakim Warrick, and Josh Pace are and an incredible shot-blocker...and Steve Nash doing what he was put on two best players were in the sweet 16 Levy averaged 15 points, 10 rebounds back. A well-rounded off-guard, oh ya, he runs the 40-yard dash in 4.8 the earth to do...penetrate and pass. last year. and 2.5 blocked shots per game as a Pace shows great instincts and a lot seconds - shades of Kenyon Martin. Just a little effort on defence and high school senior. Following that, of confidence in his game. Cutting we're set Steve. The Spurs are the Next week - The Coach and Laser 9.4 minutes, 2.7 points and 2.0 down on the number of bad shots he Questions or Concerns? faceforra- Spurs, and the Heat have the best weigh in (even Tinsley has the rebounds per game as a Wake Forest took earlier in his career, he now [email protected] one-two combo with Wade and Shaq, Joneses).

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NOON - 7:30 pm BoorsJp at 8:00 pm n •'•

Stabiio Preview & John Gleii 3 • | •

Toanie Night Stabiio Concert St 3D! -$2 Cover •U Brink Specials Ticket Holders Opening Band - Strada $2 Pizza Get in fer Free Tickets $8 at the SwficiiCenti w Win Prizes Grand Prize: Ski Weekend for Twi In Penticton B.C. xiOOxv from December SI - January 3. Includes free 1Q6 transportation from Calgary, lour nights accomodation, Today's Best Rock admittance to exculsive HOST LOOSE new years eve party gSBSBrf

Must be legal drinking age with valid photo and student ID. One guest per student. ROOM: SU180 WWW.ULSU.CA PHONF: 329-2222 COUNCIL WEEKLY UPDATE By: Loralee Edwards Centre. They will also be food item(s) anytime to the President available at the door, al­ SU office all year long. though I would advise that Tanys, one of the The semester is you get your tickets soon, as physical plant staff here at winding down and we are they are selling quickly! the University of Lethbridge, getting close to the winter Don't forget they are also has organized a coat drive. semester break. I hope that giving away a 'Bust Loose' The Students' Union is one of everyone will be able to Holiday trip to Penticton, the drop off sites to donate enjoy some family, friends, B.C. for the New Years Eve coats that will then be and snow. Snow Ball, December 30th- distributed to homeless Tickets are selling January 3rd (including lift shelters here in town. There quickly for the Ender Bender tickets, transportation from is also a drop off station in the cabaret on December 9th in Calgary, acomodations, Atrium. If you have a coat The Union Bistro and Bar, shuttle service to the you can spare please bring it featuring Stabiio. The events mountian and access to the down to the office and we will begin at noon. The Bust Loose' New Years Eve will make sure it gets passed entrance fee to the afternoon party. WOW, WOW, on to someone who needs it. events is a Twoonie, with WOW!!!) The Students' Union drinks and slices of pizza The Food Bank Drive has been very busy this also each a Twoonie. A DJ was a great success. We semester. I encourage you to will be providing music in thank the committee for all visit our website to read our between the live music, at their dedication and hard reports, initiatives and 2:00 pm a great local band work, as well as the group of conference reports. If you John Gleu 3 will be playing, volunteers that went out last have any questions, ideas or and at 5:00 pm Stabiio and Friday door to door collecting input we would like to hear Strada will be playing a short food the food bank is looking from you. Stop by our office teaser set. great. Also a big thank you to Monday - Friday, 8:30 am - The evening events the faculty, administration 4:30pm. featuring Stabiio (with and staff who overwhelm- The Students' Union Strada opening) will begin at ingly supported this wishes you and your families 8:00 pm. Tickets are $8 and initiative. Don't forget you a very Happy Holiday and sold in advance at the Service can drop off non-perisiable the best in the New Year. THE CAMPUS HANGOUT Health and Dental Plan Level 3 SUB Open 11 am Daily What you should know for the holidays THE UNION Full Menu Until 7pm The Health and months supply in December will be available when a BISTRO 8 BAR Dental Plan office would like to carry you through the medical emergency or other you to keep a few things in January black-out period. personal emergency occurs. mind for the holiday season. All full-time students Not only do they provide Starting January 1, 2005, the who will be returning in medical assistance, but they SPECIAL $5.50 LUNCH $6.50 Health and Dental Plan will January and who maintain will also assist you in your SOP tw SAJDWKH STARTS HAM be in a black out period for 45 their full-time status will travels, helping you to find days. This means that you have coverage until August hotels, restaurants etc. To EVERYDAY will not be able to use your 31,2005. For students who find out more information Ask your server FAVORITES for more information Mondays - Steak Sandwich pay direct drug card during will not be returning in about travel coverage or Fridays - Fish and Chips this time. If you need a January or who have gone anything else related to the prescription, we ask that you down to part-time, your health and dental plan please SPECIALS pay for it, retain the official coverage ends December 31, come to the Students' Union BREAKFAST Thursday, Dec 2 receipt and then bring the 2004. office to pick up a brochure Pam & Dan's Chicken Day receipt into the Health and If you are traveling and a card (SU180). Our STARTS 9AA\ Dental office when you get outside of the Province or office will be closed from Tuesday, Dec 7 Bacon n' egger Canada this holiday, you December 24th - January 3rd. with Cheese Lasagna back. There we will help you fill out a claim form and send might be interested to know If you have any questions + Coffee Wednesday, Dec 8 $3.00 Chicken Quesadillas it to the insurance company that you have travel insurance regarding your coverage for you. If you take through your health plan. during this time, please call medication on a regular basis, Travel Assist-a world-wide RWAM Insurance directly at The Union is open everyday at 8am as a study lounge it may be possible to fill a two medical assistance service- 1-877-888-7926.

KEEP LETHBHUGE IWNtH THIS WINTER f JACKET AMD BLANKET DONATIONS kM Please help the less fortunate stay warm this winter. Donations can be dropped of in The Atrium and The Students' Union office (SU 180) Proceeds go to the Lethbridge YWCA £ALL JUNIORjORfAUSTEN FDRiSHUTjTLE BUS BOOKINGS 0 380.42' AVE SOUTHJDOMNTOWN LETHBRIDGE WWV.THEmiADHOUSE.CA SHUTTLE uSii Huuenp ROADHOMBINS 9

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