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/1 •• ,•r,· Plea::: • .:1, 1 ,, I ,• ... - ...... i i .:, ' -'1 ... Q .:..s page: 6 L "'" ,."u• I ·''"' , ,/ HJ • ;.• · '•' · K'1.'l!.'!RU~J, , r~t . ·r. 1 ·~oa·.r El:,l.'. '!;' ~ l ; ~ :,~ , .. ii_!'";!Ji p · I' ··r " :! t T!:JANl\ ~l'OU • . ·· ·l ••• . ..... .' ;;...,, .. ,., 'ot:- • \ U()M"" ~ T~Mn \ F o'l'"'1;11~·:. • of' •·\.l"1 • ~.!, \ ;;.1."~ \ ~-;!"'-- '~'··~ . ~f I· .• \~tJi t~ ~ ,:) : :f;~ , o •' !""" tfr., ~: .1..- l l'o('o~~l::'' '). • ' : :7. If=. ..TE~·JISH FAt•1IL')·' SER'···' IC E •rr ~· ., ...... =-"-',--=~~;.:"-~"':*.:~~.,:!..":.--...:::::.!"'-'t'~~~~~~i ¥ii#¥iii~=; - · ~-..-=--=-~...=..~:\':QZ7':~ THE .HITE RI BOt CAMPAIGN TO: MEN !tlEN T: MEN'S VIOLENCE AGAI s~r WOMEN -----~~ · -- ... ---~--- ~~ -- --~- ~ - ~ __ _ ... I o.s.A. 1 mer. physica ly bat•~r women betwee~ :; t -; .12 .1i 11 icm time~ a year? * 1 r .v~ · women is $ex1al y assatlted at som& potnt in t~ei~ 1 ~s - usually before the~ reach the age of 757 * That ~ wcman is more likely to be physically or 5exu3 1, assaul te-4 in het om home by a :rrtan she knows (husband. t over, date , Lelative, than an the stt~~t by a stranger? ~hat~ e a.l know and love women- our s•sters, mothers , f-• nds, relatives and ov•rs - ~ho have been a~d will be (i 'I man•s violence. T:ln s n'l~.:. .. w.: a ll know and 1 ov.:: men - our brothers I father s, .sons, friends, relat'•;e.t\1 , an ourselves whv have been or· will be violeut a9ainst women. :~ ycu fi~d these s~atistics appa:l ' ng? r~re you ;.;-illir;g •~o ::;peak to ethers, t.=spe~ially men, abc1i m.-:n's viole~ep a; a in~t women? -Are you willi~; tQ consider. c~ vou may have been tiolent w· th women? (This is not an " s versus thel1'1° issue - ;;.t w~· u:-= to prom t6 a r.::hang~ in mec:' s be,havio '" , we m-:..lst t a~:~ the initiative with ~urselves ) . :E you are, please ccnsider wear1ng a ~hite Ribbon* from ' l< v~;·n):Jer 27, 1993 through Cecerr.'be .. 3. 1 9'33 and on Decs!"\:::et c: :993 protest rr.~~'s viole:ice a~ai:n.st \-::.:>:':1.::~. When ~ec.ple ;;;::-~: 101.1. "w hat's the ribbon fcr?u enga..::>e then in oonvet:sat.icr. abo•.. t the p:~valence of men's violenc-?. s-gainst worr.en. Pass:-· 't. ~OPl•:'::: : t the attached White Ribbon ~act Sheet. P~ss out ribbons a~d p:n~ ,~men •..;hn e:-:pre.ss interest in ta.kin<; action to end men's v1ole>: · e: ! f you ~oulC!. like more ir.formaticn ar· ·: o r W1?Uld 1ike 'cc -;e t r:-•oP:: invol ved in the s~uthsast Michigan a call \31~) 541·6~;·· ...... --,~~- ·~T.ie White Ribbon ca.~aign ~:~;;gar ;':;'J---·------Canaciia.'"l me.'"l to th<:C' .M ··--- mtrea.l ~za;:re ~ . ~ which s ~ 'JC"t.en '· i 11 ed b:r· a 1one g-·.mrttar; , ),;o:..>.Se t.t,ey "'ere woli!E'.n , I~ ·=- H F AI'1IL'-r' SE F.: V I C E t·~ O'• I •·-24 -93 W E I:I 1 1: 3 7 ..T E~ · J. I ·• ""'"" ' -- .... - - _...,... •••••._. r -,.scm• • ,. .,.~, ., ""q,. ., "' ·- ARE MEN NATUAALLY VIOLENT? This is 2 ways a conttove:-s{al question, but we k.;ow that not ~! societies exhibit tbe same degr~e oi viotc.,c.e against ""Om~n a.s ours. Ri!s:arch :ells us that half of .:he tribal societies investigated over th~ past centur; e.".hi~it no violcnc~, or v(;rf low levels of .. iol~nc~. Furth~rmor ~, m.t.1'\ y men a:e neve.~ :N.:~lv violent. and.!~ ·~is of viokn::¢Val"'f g;e:it!y · frc-m co:~ncry to ~ou:1tn,'. ~1 this S'.lSgL5l.S · .at men arc 11oL, by tb~tr v·~ry na.turt viol~tlt. Yioi ... • is s ·ni•!tJ'li.~1g Vie learn. Men's "io1 .. , ;, ~. "'~Wt cf th? · -.q we lc~n to ;xp~- s ~:-- rn~~~u.llt~.h~ in v~nc!atior,shi9s ';,;th wom ai, children, .anct (.lthCr m~n. In .:u.r c-..ier:, men ka.."':l co think ofpewet as ~'1e a'bili~y to domir.atz .m~ conilol the p!"ople a.:cund u.s. We ! :.arn to ~q~~te F m~scuhnity, or sir.opt~ b~1nf! a m~n, .w1th ~,:;is kind of pvwer )Jth·:lllgh J, ~ ma;on ty ;;>f me:n ate no\ nhys: :a1~y Vl":>letlt! !:!'! ~;; 'J,':i!' cf V~~l(!.t!.Ce ~f..;J1·· ·~ · · .cc ·e • • • ~ • • • • ~ • 5 - • ~ ~ Ten hr1111ediatct _itings Yotl an D _ to Help ~violence ge' 1ns Wear a v.·h~ te P.i.b!;)on frc.-rn 2.7 0 t;cvembet: ·h women 1 rape crisis cemre. or (·~'1er wca ..... t.'s t~ D~r,mher 3rd and on Da:em.er 6th. programs. 6 Get yol.U' male friends t.O 'y\-'ear a \'\ihite Ribbon. 0 -\sk your ~ports chb, ccmpa..11.y, union~ school, busir.ess as.odationsl r place of worship to e Object to any se~ually dem.eaJ'l.in picm;es of s~an a \Vhite Ribbon Comsnhtee. women in we worh.1'1ac~. 0 Join ot~ie:-s in your com.rnur.ity to = J!.>i~t thar 0 Challen,Jejokes~d$ex:hJang-1age thatiroply police lay cb.. ges in all cases of ~,~+'e ~ssault violeno::t: towards, cr a ···"e of, women. 0 ·\V :~e to the media or tO adve-rtbers .o object to 0 )"' ~ mine how your own behavio~ might con~ demeaning images of women t..!.ute t{) the problem. Cil ~Wee a smallt rnonthly contribunc~n to the 0 Contribute to your local shelter for battered \\'bite Ribbon Campaign, SC:.l'· CAMPAIGN, i!lO Yt ·· ·~,=; .o.a, 1"0RONTO, ONTAfUO M5S·lH! TCL. (of 16/ 59~ (-4 16j $96·8359 t·~ o v ..- 2 4- 9 3 1.-J E .JI:Lt _l,1._;1!:.....i:i.,_.;ii~~...-.':.ii:.L~..;;~T~.-J.iEi;.,1;.;;J~'· '~J;;,..~Si:.'H· ,~;;_~ ...... : . FAt1IL'·--~.:.,.:..~~""...,,.:..,·' ,._....;;oSERVICE.,.,..;-;;o.,..,;,_~. -~- ~ 1 _ . 1. How did the White Ribbon Camp~ign get abo-.1t the problem of'violence. On L'e.c,;:: ~b;·:- 6 its.::U: stan d? Near the end of 1991) a handful ofmen from we're urging men to step back at:d listen to th ~ ,·c·ices Southern Ontario decided 'Ne had a respcr1sibil:t)1 for -.fwomen c•n this day ofi!ief, anger ar~d. r~n ~·~mb· ance urging men to spt:ak out a1Zainst violence against 6. Is i.t on!y f'or one week? The we::!k le~dir.g up to wcme~ We decided that a white ribbon-worn the the ar.niversarv ofth e ~fo ntreal ma..t;~c;·e, w:ll c..or.tinue . .• e, k of Dec(' ... • leadmg up to the second to be the highpoint ofoul' activities. We:·_;:':' th~t o•.ir .. r 'versary of tt. ~re of 14 wom~n at the 1 local and resmnal• C()mmirtees" ~11• , ad .:.Fess' l~$ues' as Ur.iv~rsite de M· n ~~ 1 l!nqineering school- would they emerge in individual workp lat:es. c:ties, . nd nm.J be a ;:;ymb("!l ofm~n . ·l~i"n to men's ·violence CO!T'.n'll.!rtities, thro:Jghout the ye~; ap.insi women i. ls our onlv concern men'~ violence agatnst 2. \~ ·e set up an onPoing grour ,.. c:imen? Som~ men :and women have asked us why ;·id tealized that, whateve ~ve ' :t;: focusing on men's violence against \\-omen. s'l.! _ eet~., ~-, had a. kms; Wily ~o. W "\Vhat about s~cietal·viole11ce?"- wear;;; sot ,; erLtnes ne .e capacity to d0 in-detth edu,stiona.J•.,,·vrk. asked. Our first answer is that most '1s CCie(~.' i!Cle:-tce'' to r•:ach boy: and mer1ever:rv.here irt th~ c.:.untry. -is corn...l"'1itted and promoted by men 98'··-·~ o: sexual Althoug: •,11y·~ would rfl!mai .1 a large!; volunteer~ a;n.auits and 90% of spousal assau l t~ arc c1. r !.."flitted grassrl'l.. r·: ei!brt, we y..,..,ew \Ve ~:vould need son:e by men. structu f 1: re to S'..lcceed. 8.. Does this me.:m \\'e think tha: men :.reb c.!? Are \Vhat nn th~ goal f th·· ":VRC? Our o•;~::r~ll we male bashers? We don't th.inf: th t men are o bjectiv~ i~ ~o help st~m...J.la~t:. r€-flectiorA, discus:;~on. • arurallv vio.ent and we don't think that m.::. .-e ;,ad. and anahi~;{s ieadi~:g ~o p ~rsor:ta1 a.:)d cr.Ut We k... this becat..:se not all mer) A. t' ,; '.· and 'b'f' j. "l~W ~t am n{! mer to t~ke re~pon::1 1.1t' ~or worl<'Jno: ~-~c~use re~earchers over the past hut:drr:ci t~.:\fs have aio02'~dc women nd co::.tribut\·.i tc end:ns men;s 1 disco ·ered many cultures Vvith little orne · . ioknc~. At vi c l e~~c~ To a-~complish this gr.,a.J •;,·e are: the same time, \Ve do thlnk tha• ma:1: m~n have "Conct1cti:1g the \\-"hhe f' 'bbon Campaigr (WRC) learned to e:xpress their anger or insecwrit; throJgh to irvre.~.se public awareness of the issue<:. >:>f men's violence. 1\fanv rnen hs.ve come to C.elie .-e that violence ·violence against a wom~n , child or anotherrr~ar. i' a11 ac..:.e~table • Suppordng the work dor,e by ..., m ·r and wav to control a:1other person The good ne•.vs, \·>OI'tlfn' ~ organizations on the issue of men· s \:den e th;~g~ is th::!.t more anci more men ! 1. 'Who c:an be a me.nber ofth•~ \'VRC'? Pra:-tldo:~tion .i 5. 'Who run& the White Ribbon Campaign? A . ,. "\..:. ,., bb . . . m ... n.t.e .r..: on c::)rnJn.ttt .... e.s l: p_n w anv man .,;, :to folli · .•. ·g me~ti~ g in 'T' MOnte electec a Board of is ~lf>Pv.::ed. tl) vio!en<;e az::tlnst ~~omer~ ~nd wh-o is I:•ireoto~ withmemb[rS rr( ·aric•tlS c~til:'S ir1 south<::rn com.m.itt~d to exarnirlln~ ar,d;.. '-:.::Uengil,g violer.ce in Onta :~}. ~ local groups g<:;. goi .g, th' Ik~rd v.ill their o vn lives. 1'..1'en who enga.ge in \·:olence against · to iriClude representatives from aero s the women are not w ...lcome. We wamlly wef...::ome men C"' We have no interest in bEing a central from s.ll walks ollift, rellsions, and "''olitical a.ffiliatiot'l~ ·_; >~ratlon. Board work is enti:·:~y. ·jl:.;,,t::. ....r regard! ss of .1ge, ·· :-.;ai orientation, race, et:...:"l.ic D ~y leacarship is proVided b; an .:.x~cu~i ve ~'roup, or prr,·s:c \ ··e enco•Jragc \vOm~r to reGd our rape crisis centres, and women's advocacy progr~ms. literature Md to give us fe~dl .ack about cur ~ction£ In ali our fundraising letters we ar~ no·.v explicitly Although our pcrpose is .o encc•uragr; m•!n tc take ~n.-;ouraging men to gh:e generously tO the ... grovr:•. responsibiittv . :Y.;HYY v:omen also wear ribbon~ lS cJ finally, ·.,\'e 1-rge iocal ·white Ribbon corrL-ntttees\o show of support. 1 raise m·:>ney for women s programs i:~ their areas. 14 •. '\Vhat is our rt:lati(J. ·with women!s gu:wps? i i. \Vhat happens with the money we raise? \Ve're SJ.tiCe we a~knowledge the expertl~f. ·:.~ d central role not setdn_g up a large bureaucracy, but things ~- St ofwomen in challenging vioienc·; ~,;~bst ;~o,•omeo we money. Not including co:>ts a.. soeiat.ed t;ith direct think it's to some of irnport~n\ hav~ structul'~~ mail (our fundraisir.g, information and outrea( h ac"'ountability to wome. t t s orga.r~z.::.tion~. Ou~' r..;~mraJ packages) we spent about $155,000 in !992 for office has ac ongoing dialogue with repres~r:tatives coc~rdinat1on, educatior1 and outreach work . Almost from a v.'ide range of orgarJz.ations. This liaison a~d all of his goe:no printingmateria1s pay-1.\gfor ?hc. _ ad..,isoryprocess does not set po1Icy or ma!·e decis: :>ns 1 bins ar:d sup,?orrlng a sm.al1 staff that does educati:, a for the group. but acts as a otace for discussion and and outreach vvcrk. vVe're keeping onr ''Vcrh~ad feedback on our p.ast work and future y!ans. "Ve are costs "Cry low. Our office spC~.ce is al'rx1:-~st C ('!!.~ pleteiy asking local \\'h.ite Ribbor1 committees to set uo their donated; most of our office equipment - fh~::n own liaison dfc.rts with wom~·n i.n their comm~nitles, co to put,;rs to j: A.X to desks-is donated. And most workplaces and campuses. imponan tly, almost everyor.e working on the ¢ampaign is a volunteer. m 8 t-'=t:.UUJ.\If..;R\. t .t-t)Ur ccut•m.es oj male tVtJfroJ, 11 s s~nHIJie '!it womer: - ·----·------· - · ------~ r·- lo k STL>picivu..f cJfmm w11 ' ucit!mly ava11t 14, lldp J!t~.ir .u11.se J!l • ~''101·.. Ill ij HV MICUA£L KAUfMAN gal ~~ @ DU ® (2_ea_/.':t{.'c.. v.<:s ,~, .1\. o-t wl.A C1V-\_ ~ t:l.£ <.<9~ vi!~cl {) A.cl~~&Ac~4~~ JJe.x-{- 6-k(>~~ d) - . . 0 )J ~.,.+ ~'0 -{. >M<:./rk. .fe.: plAce..- : ~~-)/'/~ ./.h&~ ~/~ ~ ~~ ' '7::;:~ /?tJ/l~S .-do~~ ~--~ ~~~b~ MADONNA UNIVERSITY 36600 SCHOOLCRAFT ROAD LIVONIA, MICHIGAN 48150-1173 (313) 591-5000/FAX 591 -0156 TTY (3 13) 591 -1203 March 28, 1994 Dear Ms. Swanger, I enjoy your column in the Metro Times and I used to catch your comments on NPR as well. I appreciate all the consciousness-raising that you do. I want to thank you in particular for your column entitled, "I t ' s a Guy Thing," from a Metro Times December 1993 issue. It was your column that introduced me to Phil Elliott and the White Ribbon Campaign. I asked Phil Elliott to be a guest on "Madonna Magazine," a half-hour TV talk show produced at Madonna University and shown on WXON, Channel 20. His topic - "Stop the Violence Against Women." The show wi 11 be taped befo,-e an audience on Saturday, April 23rd, at llam. Tickets are free and I would like to invite you to be a member of our studio audience and to bring anyone else you think might enjoy the program. If you cannot attend the taping, the show will be aired approximately 2 weeks later on Channel 20, Thursday and Saturday mornings. Check y our TV listing for the specific times. Again, thank you for bringing an important topic to my attention. I hope to see you at the show~ Most Sincerely, een Thompson Producer Madonna Magazine ---~- __ ,_.; ·, - --='.---':='""~~"'"""'-"'--"'-===--'-"-' ·.'·::.··... -···--:--,-:- ::i···· ;..,,' :-3 -:···•': . . ··-. -~.. ~- .. ,···,·. ._ ,- -":.' ~; .: ·. ·: .• · •.• n;:;_ .._ ·., ;.... -.--.~-··-· ·~_:,_..__... _. -=--"·-·----·-:-::--=~-c---~~-~_;... -:;' ~--,·"·...;__:__ ---.-,~- . ..:: ~--;- __._.. .1.,/.f) ,.._. :·· .. . -~ ,. ..-. - ... -.: :,, ···-.· ... ·.. ·.,::·,_ -. - ~- •. ; .•. -~. ll 7/ . ~v);:~p~~ ') ~ J?;?b-tf:>tJO?o {~_) /uJ~{c~d:?_;/-tff.?.:Z/ . ~r~~pA'r/teh - ~~_-FP~ ~d_~ ~~~~~ ~ ~ ~ ~ )?1':;}: a a_ c jtu~ ~ ~."j-6- J /JJ!U1f1~ Si~~ I' '+ ,, I~ I , .. I i t ' ~f+- I il I! 11 r~ ~~ !1 iljl II .., ,r:-£s'tciblish Comprehensive Violence Treatm Se~vices With The Men's Work Program Men's Work Now you The Facilitator's Guide A man's tendency to respond to situations with aggressive, can include dominant, or abusive behavior is often learned at a young age. Changing these behaviors in adults calls fo r a complete violence in program that addresses attitudes, actual behaviors, and communication ski ll s. your program With Mcn:r Work: The Facilitator's Guide your agency ca n offerings. The effectively augment men's services. This guide provid es you with a complete treatment plan-including Men's Work practical suggesti ons for initiating discussion, fostering motivation, and developing new skills. It suggests curriculum offers group exercises and helps facilitate client assessment. Comprehensive information about the three Mrn\ multiple formats Worl: workbooks-plus a key to corresponding sections in the J1,1en ·_,. Wod· video-arc included. that appeal to a Supported hy the workbooks, video, audio tape, and hook, thi s guide provides a re-education •variety of learning system for abusive men, or those in need of better relationships and parenting skills. styles and help you #5536A 96 pp. $12.00 reach more clients. HAZELDEN" VID£0 Men's Work How to Stop withMen's Paul Work Kivel ~ MEN'S the Violence Bring you r Men '.I- Work program to life with the power of That Tears Our video. Your clients will see-and understand-the impact WORK Lives Apart violence has on their lives and the lives of others. Realistic by Paul Kivel dramatizations, role plays, and suggested activities help Author Paul participants recogni ze violence in everyday situations. And How to Stop Kivel uses his own recognize alternatives. Topics include: tl1e Violence Tital Tears expenence-as a • Accepting Ourselves, But Not Violent Behavior Our Lives Apart counselor and as • How to Recognize Violence An empowering presentation to a son, a father, increose awareness of end offer • Roots of Violence olternative5 to mole violence and a man-to • Alternatives to Violence illustrate how men • Shame and Violence are taught about #5850 1/2" VHS, 60 min. $29.95 PAULKML women, other men, traditions, and culture. The Men's Work easy-to-read text narrated by Paul Kivel examines the social Reinforce Men's Work ideas with this convenient, framework of violence and power and explores the engrossing audio tape. It explores the roots of male relationship between drugs and violence. violence by usi ng stories and role plays that will strike a Contents include: chord in all men. These dramatic scenes-plus effecti ve Part I: Growing Up Male exercises-help men in crease their undt:rstanding ol Part II: Men, Pow<.:r, and Vioknc<.: viokncc and its rok in their own lives. Cl ienls will Part III: Breaking the Patterns learn how to make the decision not to be violent, to Part IV: To Stop Male Violence listen, to stare preferences without anger or blame, to Part V: The Next Generation respond to feelings, and more. T opics include: #5167A Paperback, 240 pp. $5.99 • Scope of Violence • Sources of Male Violence • Taking a Stand Against Violence • Practicing Alternatives to Violence • Responses to the Men's Movement #5658A 60 min. audio cassette $10.00 T FOR FURTHER lNFORMATlON CALL 1-800-328-9000 r1ent Volume Savings l·:ach climt program contains 25, 50, or 100 copies of each workbook, audio, and paperback, plus 1 video t1nd 1 Facilitator's Guide. 25 Programs: List Pric e ~ You r Price S522.59 50 Programs: Li st Pri ce Sl ,4 H.45 Your Pri ce S9 36.85 ·., ,,. .... ~ I ()() l'ro).; rams: .. l .i>t l'ri L· e £2,8 10.95 Your l'ri( e S 1,776.55 Workbook 2: Anger, Power, VIolence, and Drugs Breaking the Connections This workbook looks at how men have been taught to connect The Mens Work Workbooks anger, power, violence, and drugs and alcohol. Participants learn how this connection ca n lead to violence and controlling behaviors This new workbook series is a concrete way for your clients to work that affect relationships. F orry-one exercises help your clients break through their struggle with violence-and an excellent way for through those connections, reclaim their feelings, and learn to you to document their progress. The series is filled with the vital express anger without violence. Lines of power that separate information about violence your clients need to know. As they work people-by gender, racial and ethnic heritage, phys ical abiliry, through the thought-provoking exercises, they begin to identifY the economic class, religion, and sexual orientation-are also explored. roots of male violence and develop their own alternatives to violence. #5534B W orkbook, 32 pp. $4.00 These workbooks make great take-home assignments to reinforce session work. Workbook 3: Becoming Whole Ending the Cycle of Violence Workbook 1: Growing Up Male An excellent tool for prevention programs, Becoming Whole helps Identifying Violence in My Life clients take the final steps to end violence in their lives. These sixry Growing Up Male is an important look at how violence starts in one exercises focus on establishing relationships with other men, men's lives. It begins at the beginning-how boys are raised to intervening with other men who may need help with their violent become men who hold pain inside and turn anger into violence. behaviors, and developing a spiritual connection in their lives. Men explore and ass ess their attitudes and behaviors toward women Clients are encouraged to reconstruct their lives and relationships and other men. The forry-four questions included in this workbook by developing alternatives to violence with their families, friends, help clients focus on identifYing physical, emotional, and sexual and communities-and pass on a new model of healthy living to the abuse and learn how to get help. next generation. #5533B Workbook, 32 pp. $4.00 #5535B Workbook, 32 pp. $4.00 0 I~ F ·\ \ T \ V 1: "-: T Y . F 0 11 I ~ I I () I I I ~ <; I ) y The Epidemic of Workplace Uiolence Workplace violence includes homicides, injuries, assaults, verbal attacks, occupational illnesses and diseases, corporate crime and violence, sabotage and job discrimination. *Nearly 10,000 workers are killed on the job each year by traumatic injuries from unguarded machine:ry, trench cave-ins, electrocutions, motor vehicle accidents, etc. Over 7600 workers were murdered In the last decade. Homicide was the highest rate of death among women (41%). * 6,000,000 workers are Injured, 60,000 permanently disabled and more than 300,000 are made m each year by workplace hazards. As many as 100,000 workers die each year &om the long-term effects of occupational diseases such as cancer, lung disease and corona:ry heart disease. The deadliest industries are mining, transportation, construction and agriculture. * More than 2,000,000 Americans were victims of physical attack at the workplace during the past year. Another 6,000,000 American workers were threatened and 16,000,000 were harassed. Between July 1992 and July 1993, 1 out of 4 full-time workers was harassed, threatened or attacked on the job. * 3 out of 4 victims reported psychological distress (which also reduces productivity). Job stress can be both a cause and an effect of workplace violence and harassment. Highly stressed workers experienced twice the rate of violence and harassment as less stressed employees. Causes & Costs * Most workers blame alcohol or drug abuse, layoffs or firings, and poverty in society as major causes of on-the-job violence. To a lesser but important degree, the availability of guns, violence on 1V or ir the movies, job stress and job-related conflicts were identified as major causes. *Characteristics of at-risk work environments. Chronic labor/management disputes; frequent grievances illed by employees; extraordinary number of injmy claims, especially psychological; under staffing or excessive demands for overtime; high number of stressed personnel; authoritarian management approach. * Additional contributing factors include peiVasive, complex and destructive success, power, profit, gender and institutional dynamics, all of which must be radically transformed if we are to reduce violence, maintain quality lives and co-exist harmoniously on a livable planet. Employers, doctors, lawyers, judges, insurance companies, and government agencies (as in post-war radiation experiments) contribute to workplace violence. Men have been socialized to dominate, compete, control, and conquer whatever the costs, including violence. The drive for success has even led to violence in tennis and figure skating. * Workplace injuries, illnesses, and fatalities impose tremendous costs on workers, employers, and society. Injuries alone cost $83 bWlon each year. The National Safety Councll estimates the cost of workplace injuries in terms of medical expenses and lost time at $63.3 bWlon each year. These estimates do not include the costs of work-related illnesses and disease, which clearly are substantial. Is violence sexy? Are any of the following statements true for you? Be honest. *Although the majority of men achieve success without violence, they always feel, in however tiny a comer of their mind, the desire to retain the right to it, in case it should ever be necessary. * When men hear about a colleague or competitor, or even a total stranger who has resorted to violence, their reaction is rarely one of wholesale revulsion or disgust, but is more likely to be at least a modicum of interest. * If the violent action has been successful, especially in a business or competitive context, the reaction will more often than not be one of approval rather than disapproval. * Men who are never violent live vicariously through the exploits of those men who are. "In a tribal sense," says Dr. Peter Rutter, "it is as if men who violate the forbidden zone are the designated surrogates who live out these fantasies for the rest of the men in the tribe." * Because the stimulus of violence is so closely allied with that of sex, men gain both pleasure and a quasi-sexual satisfaction from thinking or talking about violence, whether sexual or not, and do not wish to be deprived of this. *Because so many men engage in violence (physical, emotional, financial, corporate and legal), each episode and each tacit vote of approval of that episode generates like a virus an infectious atmosphere of acceptance which lowers the resistance of men t:rying not to act on or even acknowledge the violence of theil inner life. * And because the deepest possible drive toward worldly significance and success, the endless quest for transcendence and the triumphant epiphany of maleness, and the desire to see penis power confirmed aE the final answer to fears of weakness and the wounds of boyhood, all lie behind the attraction of and for violence, men wlU not give up either the attraction or the Imputed right to violence until they Jearn other ways to find what they seek (from Love. Sex. Death & the Making of the Male by Rosalind Miles, p.l81-2). On Being a Person in a Violent World: Notes from a Trans personal Perspective By Stuart Twemlow One year ago, Topeka, Kansas experienced what the author describes as "an epidemic ofhatred and bigotry created by the actions ofa local preacher. "In response, the Menninger Foundation, the City of Topeka, the Chamber ofCommerce, a local newspaper, an interfaith council, a large corporation, and many others presented a public program, "Love Thy Neighbor: Overcoming Hatred and Bigotry in the Community. " The presentations, featuring regional and national speakers, dealt with racism, gay bashing, street crimes, hate groups, and what the community could do about them. Stuart Twemlow, MD., a psychiatrist who teaches at Menninger, and an ATP Member, addressed the victim-attacker dynamic, and the need for personal proactive awareness. As a training psychiatrist andpsychoanalyst with 30 years practice in meditation and martial arts, he has taught andpublished widely. He is a consultant to the Prime Minister ofJamaica, and also develops programs to assist in reducing school violence in the U.S. His talk, adapted here, speaks to subtle and hard-to-grasp aspects ofliving in a violent world. -Ed. Recently my wife took our daughter to a showing ofthe movie, As Meloy and many others point out, most violence in human "Batman Returns." In one memorable scene, a woman is beings is perpetrated between people" who know each othet pushed out of a skyscraper and falls violently to her death. In and are attached to each other in some way .It is understanding the theatre, a boy who appeared to be about age 11 or 12 created the nature of this attachment between victim and attacker that a disturbance by jumping up and down on his seat excitedly, may help us answer the question of how one retains some shouting, "Oh great, oh great, oh great! He pushed her out the peace and equanimity, some center, in a violent world. window and he didn't even care!" In my School ofMartial and Meditative Arts, in Topeka, more cri· ~~ sophistic~ted clinician and writer o~ vi.olence, than 200 students se ch day, a quotation adapted from the ··-a---- such reacttons and related problems m hts book, 2000-year-ol , 'Art of War y Sun Tsu. It reads: Violent Attachments, where he also oints out, " ... violence can num the senses and foster a curious yet etac e Ifyou know your techniques, you will win sometimes and -attention to only the statistics. We mimmtze or deny the lose sometimes. 'relationships that exist between aggressor and the vtchm. The numbers dampen our wtsh for mst'ght and our thoughts• you know your enemy, you will win most ofthe time. resist and attempt to comprehend the meaning of such inexplicable, yet troublesome, behavior." 3 We adopted as the logo for our school, the statement, "there is armies. He points out that large groups function to subjugate no enemy." Each candidate for the black belt must study and the personality of the individual to the ideals ofthe group and review this statement both as a fact and as a koan, and the individual. In some groups, one may be asked to subvert demonstrate an in-depth and balanced grasp of its meaning his/her own ideas and principles to those of the leader. The and intent. group that develops such a bond can then become either an agent of social change, or of horrifying totalitarianism, as exemplified in World War II. More recently the Branch I grew up in a peaceful country, New Zealand, whose govern Davidian cult in Waco, Texas, represented an example of ment was devised as an ideal social experiment. I travelled how a cult can "de-cerebrate" normal individuals when the from there out into a world where disruption, violence and leader manages to harness the power and purpose of the conflict pervades many cultures. After more than 30 years of group to his ratic and pathological ends. To be martial and meditative arts practice and teaching, travel to "successful ' a cult leader. must promise: remote parts of the world (including countries at civil war), work in developing countries, and exploration of the Amazon I) Answers that help people overcome their fears and rain forests and visits with their peoples, I have reached a provide for their needs. transpersonal insight that I consider central: L1vmg w1t6 peace and equanimity requires an attitude of compassionate 2) That these answers would require little else other than awareness. following the leader's instructions, i.e., no personal responsibility is required. An attitude o compassionate awarenes volves the follow ing: a sense of uman re ationship to all sentient beings, a 3) That there is a body of knowledge accessible only to caring for the condition of plants, animals and the state of the him/her, and that only she/he has the special, usually earth, a sense of duty or a feeling of responsibility for these mystical, skills necessary to understand and transmit things and a feeling ofgratefulness for being part ofthe whole that knowledge. intricate puzzle. Awareness involves knowing-not merel~ accumulating facts, but understanding and seeing connec 4) That following the leader will lead to a special per tions, knowing one's world and knowing one's self as a sonal and social transformation, i.e., the past sins of the microcosm of that world. individuals would be erased or removed if the leader is followed. 5) There is a sense of specialness within the group, as if the group has a mission to convert the masses--a pur pose beyond that of the individual, thus appealing to the individual's grandiosity. By comparison, from a transpersonal perspective, a healthy, successful working group would have: I) A psychologically healthy leader whose goals em body compassionate awareness, with a concern for the welfare of the group-sometimes even greater than his/ her own welfare. omie ofthe s amental soci ses of a violent soci . Lac~.2f 2) A leader who is not abusing power and is aware of the canng or o ers and feeling not connected to, or not sharing role, function and impact of the group on the planet as a group goals is prevalent today, perhaps even more so among whole, with due regard for the rights of all living things tfle younger generahon. Not feehng a common conscious. (a planemry raffier than narrow riatlonallStlc view) and n"ess, or a sense of spirituality, accelerates the fragmentation with an insight diaL die goott of the group depends on that is pervastve m our SoCiety. !~~eel that one is a person in cooperation and collaboration wtffi other rou s not a1\ealthy group, the group must o 1'tlte differences and yet at con 1c or compe 1 1on Wit t em. the same time create its own coherent "personality." Freud, in Group Psychology and the Analysis ofthe Ego, wrote about 3) A leader who realizes his or her own weaknesses and large groups, using as examples religious institutions and works to mitigate them for the good of the group. 4 4) A leader with the capacity to facilitate the growth of ing further acts of violence (Twemlow, 199~). The victim's individual members, for their own and the group's ben mental response creates a psychophysiology that makes es efit, and to help the group tolerate differences and diver cape or counterattack very difficult. Panic can lead to arrest sity. of thinking, which leads to giving-up, and feeling "given-up on." When the mind does not work well, options for escape Thus, in a healthy working group, an individual remains an may not be recognized, and the individual may simply wait individual and part ofa group. In a healthy group, the group's for death. The alternative to victim-attacker submission is ego-ideal does not submerge the individual's, nor replace it self-confidence created by knowledge. In our society it is with the leader's ego-ideal. These outcomes are highly de essential that the individual gain the self-confidence that pendent, in my view, on the personality of the leader, whose results from learning to defend oneself. I strongly recom world view influences all aspects ofhow the group functions. mend training in these areas, such as in certain contact sports, the martial arts, or at least in responsible and intensive self defense seminars. In the Bible, Jesus says, "You have heard it said, 'an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil doer. But if anyone strikes you on the right cheek, tum the other also" (NRSV). This is sometimes interpreted as an instruction to submit and even invite attack, a form of moral suicide, a feeble surrender to aggression. There is strong evidence, however, from Jesus' actions, both atthe time ofhis own indictment by Pontius Pilot, and by his actions in the market place with merchants and usurers, that he does not tum the other cheek in the sense of surrender to evil actions. Instead his teachings can be seen as an instruction for a form of nonviolent resistance, as that taught by other great social activists including Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, and Caesar Chavez. Ifone does not empower the attacker with one's own projections and fantaStes, the attack may fall away; I once treated a young Vietnam veteran whose task while in (;y contrast hatred begets hatred. Saigon was to dig up graveyards of Vietnamese to bury American trash. Another "Special Forces" Vietnam War patient had been trained to kill without thinking or feeling. In one of the martial arts, Jujitsu, one learns a basic principle: During periods of boredom he would go on missions and, by "No enemy, no resistance, no injury." A martial artist is choice, practiced cruelties and torture. In both cases, these always taught to give way to an attacker, to allow the energy young men were taught to treat other human beings as of the attacker to dissipate itself by nonresistance wherever nonhuman trash. possible, to deflect actions with words. A counterattack is to be used as a last resort-not as an idealized first response as Awareness of our own potential for violence towards others seen, for example, in the Rambo film series. Yet, Rambo requires a realization that inside each of us is not only a dove, himself seemed to realize his impotence, both physically and but a devil as well. It is a sobering thought to consider the mentally. In most of those films when there is nothing left for possi6ility that eacn of us is potentially a serial killer, a him to destroy, he usually bursts into tears. Fear and panic narcissistic tyrant, or an agent of hatred and bigotry. Should creates a mindlessness, and mindlessness produces reactiv we deny this, we risk b~coming agents of such horrible acts, ity, not proactivity. The differences are: or experiencing theiOexpression in psychiatric illness. Fear--+ Panic --+ Mindlessness (Reactivity) Violence in intimate relationships or violence in people who do not know each other, has a psychological intensity that is "" Awareness of Danger--+ Planned response (Proactivity) hard to appreciate ifone has not experienced it. In cases where the victim submits to the attacker, and the attacker dominates the victim," there can be a spiral though denial and resignation Reactivity is often impulsive and shows poor judgment; toward surrender. The helpless victim in the act of surrender proactivity is the mind of the confident individual who ing stimulates fantasies ofpower m the attacker, thus pro mot- neither resists nor crumbles before violence. In the proactive 5 .. approach to the situation, fear is present without panic, and the References Cited: FREUD, S. (1955) Group psychology and individual thinks and acts with a lucid mind. the analysis ofthe ego. Standard Edition, Vol 18, J. Strachey (Ed.), London: Hogarth Press, pp .. 69-133. MELOY, J. R4 In addition to a conceptual and attitudinal shift in perspective, ( 1992) Violent attachments. New Jersey: Jason Aro .TSU the person desiring a proactive life in a violent world may have SUN e art o war. . . r1 1th (Transl.) Oxford: to change him/herself. Perhaps the following personal affir Oxford University Press. TWEMLOW, S. W. (1993) Psycho mation, appropriate in a group setting, can serve as one small analytic perspectives on v10ience: l'he vicissitudes of object contribution to the process of change. It is modified from a relat10nsh1ps m the victimJvictimizer dyad. Paper read at the contribution by Roger Walsh, distributed at "The Heart of Topeka Psychoanalytic Society, February 8. Healing: A Conference on Transpersonal Psychology," spon sored by the Menninger Foundation, March 12-14, 1993. A Meditation on Personal Change to Overcome Hatred and Bigotry Two Programs Relax. Focusing on Children Take Three Slow, Deep Breaths. Ask: Kids-Helping-Kids, is a friendship network for kids and What is the contribution you've made to the world of teens who have a parent or loved one with cancer, or other which you are most proud? life-threatening and chronic illness. The program is spon What contributions do you want to make to the world? sored by the Cancer Support and Education Center in Menlo Park, California. The Center, which has been in service for 20 To make these contribut~ons to the world, what strengths years, has the motto, "Self-Empowerment Programs for and capacities would you have to recognize in yourself? People with Illness." In their public announcement they de scribe the following goal for the new program for children: To make these contributions to the world, what would "To provide them·support and to minimize the impact on their you have to stop pretending not to know? lives. Research has shown that education and open communi To make these contributions to the world, what would cation helps children cope better with this challenge." you have to stop pretending not to be able to do? The groups for children will be lead by Frank Lawlis, Ph.D., To make these contributions, what beliefs would it be a psychologist who specializes in Behavioral Medicine, and helpful to change in yourself? other support facilitators. Frank Lawlis, an ATP member, and his wife Jeanne Achterberg, Ph.D. (ATP's President), are To make these contributions, what will you have to prolific researchers in the field of Health Psychology. recognize is really important to you? What could you do right now to begin making this' Each session of the support groups will include an educa contribution to the world? Visualize a person whom you tional component, a time for open discussion and an activity. believe is suffering from hating others. See their fear and Kids-Helping-Kids is designed after KOMEN KIDS, a suc loneliness, surround them with radiant, cool white light cessful support group initiated by 11-year-old Jon Wagner until they relax and smile. Holtz of Rancho Santa Margarita whose mother was diag nosed with breast cancer. He wanted to talk to other kids who Take a moment to recognize and appreciate the depth of knew what this was like but found no services available. your commitment to service and realize that you've just committed yourself to helping everyone in the room. Children: Our Ultimate Investment, is a confer ence and symposium to be held in Los Angeles, April 28 - Take a moment to recognize and appreciate the depth of May 1. It is also the birth centenary of Laura Huxley's late commitment ofeveryone else in the room and that every husband, Aldous Huxley, and she has invited a wide range of one has just committed themselves to helping you. anthropologists, birth educators, physicians, midwives and Look around at these people. psychologists to share their life experiences in nurturing the "possible human." To receive more information contact the Acknowledge each person's contribution. conference staff at (213) 461-8976. 6 ..... ,./ MALE VIOLENCE: WE ALL SUFFER SOUL DAMAGE i Dan Butts, M.A 5/93 '·· Over a period of several days in mid-March of 1991 the media reported that: "there were escalating date rapes by athletes on college campuses," ''more than 200 unruly young people have been arrested in the last two weeks in a police crackdown on violent southwest Detroit street gangs," "four Los Angeles lawmen (eleven more watched) stomped and clubbed (more than 50 times) a black motorist, Rodney King, breaking his skull in nine places," and "tens of thou sands of Iraqis were killed and, according to the Red Cross, 90% didn't have enough food or drinkable water." The Senate Judicia.Iy Committee also issued a report that "In 1990 the United States led the world with its murder, rape and robbery ratesr' A few of the appalling figures were that our murder rate was more than twice that of Northern Ireland, which has been ravaged by civil war; and our rape rate was 26 times higher than in Japan! Violence is virtually everywhere and rapidly escalating in terms of street crime, child abuse, wife battering, incest, rape, environmental destruction and "hate crimes" against minorities with less power (homosexuals, blacks, women, Asians, Native Americans). We are also seeing more violence in our workplaces, schools, college fraternities, competitive sports and media Murder in the workplace has doubled in the past ten years. Recently I've counselled several clients who are abuse victims of work-related "post traumatic stress syndrome." Some forms of violence are almost unrecognized, though their symptoms are petvasive. Our educational, health care, and religious systems, our corporate mindsets and work patterns, and our scientlftc research (''truth finding") methods disempower us and "violate" the integrity of our full humanness by denying or diminishing our wholeness and uniqueness, our creative imaginations, the compassion in our hearts and the wisdom of our bodies and souls. We also do violence to our moral integrity and human potential when we deny our psychic wounds, individual greatness, social consciences, common human family and when we speak from our heads and not from our hearts. Men's Collective Denial Women, and children, also commit violent acts; and women too deny the ravages of violence, even when they are victims. Mothers also assault and incest their children (most are abuse suiVivors themselves). I'm an incest suiVivor of both my parents. Wives also batter their husbands, but much of this is reactive or in self-defense. Moreover, women inflict far less damage on men than men inflict on women. What most men also don't realize is that violence is an inevitable consequence of our long-standing male-dominated (patriarchal) value system which legitimizes violence in accepted patterns such as aggressive competition, coercive control, domination, conquest and even brutal destruction. And, that patriarchy encourages male violence against women and children by legitimizing men's rights to control women and adults' rights to control children. Recently, for example, there was a newspaper picture of one of the 125 Naval officers involved in the Tailhook sex abuse scandal wearing at-shirt saying that ''women are property." Another officer justlfted his "right to assault because he was a captain." Is it any wonder that teenage boys in an IA suburb (the Spur Posse) consider girls, as young as 10, "scores" to boast about? Or, that several young men in Glen Ridge, New Jersey, sexually assault a mentally retarded girl with a stick, broomstick and baseball bat?? What men seem to forget when we downplay violence, or label it a woman's problem or a family affair, is that almost all men have had past experiences of attack and humntatlon (see King. Warrior. Magician and Lover by R. Moore & D. Gillette). Furthermore, men are greater victims than women in a number of categories of physical violence: war (99%), murder (80%), gang violence, hate crimes, suicides (80%) and job-related deaths (94%). We also injure our selves from alcohol and drug abuse, sex addictions, workaholism and other compulsive behaviors. So, why Is there a "conspiracy of snence" among men, espec1ally those of us who are non-violent, intelligent, compassionate and active in progressive causes??? Most of us are either in denial that violence is a serious problem or we feel helpless to do anything constructive to stop the violence. Some of us, myself included, may even have violent "avenger fantasies" in response to violence! So, perhaps, we need to tum away from the violence around us because it brings us uncomfortably close to our own violent tendencies, or to our buried, yet intensely painful, feelings of our own victimization? Our personal powerlessness (which afilicts almost all men to vacytng degrees) can also cause us to identify with and tolerate destructive power when it punishes perceived threats. We saw this phenomenon in the public response to the Gulf War. The bottom line is that our man hood and self-esteem are anchored to our personal power (mostly defined as money. success. status, privilege and sexual prowess) and that we feel emasculated by the threat of loss of any of this power. So, is tolerance of massive violence and destruction the unfortunate, but necessary, price we pay for preserving our personal male power and cultural male domination and control? Are women, children and minorities scapegoats, commodities or prizes to satisfy our neurotic appetites and bolster our sagging male egos threatened by high unemployment, plant closures and massive layoffs, higher taxes, fewer social services, a crisis in health care, inflated insurance premiums and other unfortunate social developments in recent years? The sad truth is that millions of people seem to enjoy watching hour after hour of mindless violence on television or in popular movies. Many of us are addicted to violence and the underlying psychological urges for aggression, control, domination, conquest and humili ation of enemies and other real or imagined threats (often scapegoats) to our well-being. Hemy Kissinger once called power an "aphrodisiac." Wllliam Broyles, Jr., author and Vietnam veteran, even wrote a stocy on ''Why Men Love War" (Esguire,ll/84). As the philoso pher Wllliam James suggested a centucy ago, our society needs a ''moral equivalent" of war. Isn't it possible that Vision Quests and Wilderness Journeys can help sate our inner demons? War has also been a powerful metaphor for official govermnent policies addressing critical social problems. In the past 25 years various presidents have declared war on poverty, hunger, cancer, crime and drugs. So, why not a ''war on violence" or a ''war on war?" Isn't it obvious that our heroic, "macho" approach to complex social crises is severely flawed and a failure? The Dominator Ethic The evidence is compelling that our society, and virtually evecy society (but not all) in the past 10,000 years, has been based on a deeply entrenched ethic of domination; i.e., the strong dominate the weak, and violently if necessacy. For over 100 years this dominator model has been sanctified by our secular religion of Social Darwinism (ruthless competition, suvival of the fittest, winning at all costs). Modem science and techno-industrialism, both enormous ly successful, legitimize domination. exploitation and conquest. Christianity, and Western science since the early 17th centucy (Bacon, Descartes), have also been proclaiming man's total dominion over nature, the body and the feminine. Domination is truly an insidious cancer that causes endless tensions, pains, fears and loss of creative freedom in all of our relationships. Anthropologist Riane Eisler documents that the dominator model of society lies at the "root of both war and the war of the sexes, both wife beating and child beating, both the exploitation and rape of other humans and of nature" (The Chalice and the Blade & The Partnership Way). French political philosopher Michel Foucault goes even further when he shows that patterns of domination exist in our theories of education, medical routines. research methods, views of language and work procedures. The Roots of Domination &: Violence There are sociobiologists and other determinists who claim that violent men are controlled by their biology- their hunter/warrior genetic heritage, too much testosterone or an extra "Y" chromosone. There are also, however, a growing number of scientific researchers who have observed that non-violent, cooperative and even altruistic behavior is an even stronger force than destructive competition in the plant, animal and human kingdoms (see The New Stm:y of Biology: Discovering the Wisdom of Nature by R. Augros & G. Stanciu and No Contest: the Case Against Competition and The Brighter Side of Human Nature by A. Kohn). Though biological factors are real and create a potential for violence in men, there are socio-economic and psycho-spiritual realities that more directly contribute to the myriad forms of violent behavior. For example, especially since 1980, there have been numerous political and economic policies and practices that have contributed to injustice, inequality, powerlessness, despair, joblessness, crime and the destruction of our "underclass." Social alienation resulting in powerlessness which breeds violence is an all-too-familiar historical pattern. We middle and upper class males both contribute to, and benefit by. large-scale sanctioned violence. Our war economy, techno-industrialism, corporate expansionism (cannibalism of people, land and other resources) and our acquisitive life-styles are enormously destructive on many levels. Social psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, who wrote The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness. concluded that our consumerist, "having" orientation ultimately promotes fear, competition, antagonism and violence. If ''I am what I have," then the wish to have must lead to the desire to have much, to have more, to have most (see To Have or To Be or How Much is Enough by A. Durning). Buddhist psychology reinforces Fromm's analyses by reducing deep-seated individual and social pathologies, including violence, to the "four poisons" of addiction (greed or attach ment). aversion, delusion and dualism (white is superior to black, male is better than female, straight is right and gay is wrong, etc.). The inhuman demands and stresses of our corporate juggemauts violate our health, well-being and souls to the tune of over $200 billion a year in medical costs. The corporate lust for the Holy Grail of endless growth and profits has also escalated additional human sacrifices: lost health benefits, lost jobs, etc. Plus, mercenary corporate interests aided by politicians are stealing and desecrating sacred lands and spending millions (of taxpayers money) to "relocate" 10,000 Navajo and Hopi Indians from their ancestral homes (see In the Absence of the Sacred: The Failure of Technology & the Survival of the Indian Nations by J. Mander). Many studies have detennined that the mindless mayhem in the media, especially television and film, does heighten personal aggression and violence. A study by a Seattle psychiatrist Brandon Centerwall reports that long-term childhood exposure to television (and thousands of violent acts) influences half of the homicides committed in the United States, or about 10,000 murders annually (AMA Joumal, June, 1992). Alice Miller, John Bradshaw and other therapists have been writing about the ''wounded child," susceptible to rage and violence, who lives in the psyche of virtually every adult. Mike Lew, in Victims No Longer, has also written about "men recovering from incest and other sexual child abuse" (as many as 15 million or 20% of the adult male population). There are also reports that generations of barbaric child care have led to the brutal war and raping of 20,000-50,000 women and girls in Bosnia (see A. Puhar, The Joumal of P§Ychohistmy, Spring 1993). Andrew Schmookler confirms that men who dominate and degrade others have been severely wounded, broken and rendered powerless by patriarchal family structures and societies (Out of Weakness: Healing the Wounds that Drive Us to War). As I mentioned earlier, Moore and Gillette recognize that almost all men have had past experiences of attack and humiliation from the "Shadow Warrior." Attacks against the boy's masculine Self may have come from his father, his uncles, male cousins, male siblings, "friends" and enemies in school and in the neighborhood. Put-downs, subtle or blatant, as well as physical violence against him, are often a significant part of a boy's life ... ''weakness" is often attacked by fathers or other males who are afraid of their own inner weakness. These attacks, including various forms of sexual abuse, were a painful reality in my childhood and for my male clients. The authors further note that "male attacks upon the boy's masculine Self tend to be repeated in his adulthood, where they are replicated in the hier archically structured work world and even in the world of academia." Violence .AJlainst Women and the Feminine "The Surgeon General reports that battering is the largest single cause of injury to women in the United States, and every fifteen seconds a woman is beaten by her husband or boyfriend," Riane Eisler quotes from a U.S. Senate report. "According to the FBI, a woman is raped every six minutes in this country (only 22% by strangers). Over 90% of all murders of women are committed by men (more than 1/3 by husbands or boyfriends). And, 3 out of every 4 women in the U.S. will be the target of at least one violent crime during their lives." Isn't it likely then that most men will have loved ones who will be victims of violence -wives, daugh ters, sisters or mothers??? Most rapists are not only not strangers to their victims, they are not aberrations from the male norm in our society. Studies of the personalities of convicted rapists and perpetrators of incest indicate that there is very little difference between them and ordinary men. Thus, very few rapists are even prosecuted. A 1989 smvey by the Department of Justice found that the average convicted rapist only sexved 29 months in state prisons. Historically. rapes by strang ers are prosecuted more and get more convictions. So, is it possible that our man-made law will never protect women from unwelcome sexual advances because the right to make such advances (i.e .. sexual harassment) is what makes men believe they are men? Many of our social institutions, directly or indirectly, contribute to male violence toward women and homosexuals, who embody the feminine in the subterranean psyches of homophobic men (see Violence Against Women: the Bloody Foot prints edited by P. Bart & E. Moran). Men leam to be violent in the military, sports and fraternities- which often sanction hazing, fighting, property destruction and rape. In fact, according to Bart and Moran, fra ternities are the third riskiest property to insure behind toxic waste dumps and amusement • parks! Our police, courts, hospitals and even victims' friends and families often commit "secondary violence" by denying the real causes of violence and blaming the victims. Our religious and educational institutions also contribute to the cultural climate that affirms men's and boys' rights and privileges relative to women, girls, gays and other minorities. Marilyn French further documents the personal, cultural and institutional roots of violence and misogyny (hatred of women) in the world (War Against Women; also see Hate Crimes: Confronting Violence Against Lesbians and Gay Men edited by G. Herek & K. Berrill). Are the "men's movements" and our leaders addressing male violence? As Warren Farrell proclaimed in his keynote speech at the First International Men's Conference, "it is time for men to stop protecting women." Nowhere in his subsequent article on the future of the men's movement does Farrell mention men's violence and the role it plays in women's lives (Man!, Spring, 1992). Robert Bly and other movement leaders also ignore male violence. Paul Kivel explains that, The men's movement has not evolved an articulated analysis of social power... when the issues are defined as personal growth, personal power, and individual change, especially when these issues are juxtaposed with women's demands for social change, efforts to change the social structures that produce inequalities and institutionalized violence are seriously diminished (Men's Work: How to Stop the Violence That Tears Our Lives Apart). Kivel, cofounder of The Oakland (CA) Men's Project which is reforming violent men, also points out that "any men's movement that does not directly address male violence, racism, class Issues, and homophobia can only remain exclusive and superficial." There are other straight and gay men and groups that are committed to stopping men's violence in therapy, schools and prisons. The National Organization of Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) has an active task-force on "Ending Men's Violence" (write or call Craig Norberg-Bohm - 50 Wyman St, Arlington, MA 02174, (617)648-5957). Richard Orton, who criticizes Warren Farrell's views in Man!, asserts that "to acknowledge men's violence Is not to shame men. It Is a first step toward extricating OUI'Selves &om attitudes and behaviors that help to separate us from women and from other men." He adds that, We can be easily distracted from this task by focusing on our complaints against women, our own pain, or by pre tending that women's violence against men is comparable to men's violence against women. But no amount of pain or perceived mistreatment by women can mitigate the disparity between the relative safety of women and men in our culture. If we, as men, are committed to justice, we can not let our personal issues obscure the broader inequities of power between men and women that have existed for millennia ("Men's Violence, Women's Fear," Man!, Winter, 1992). Underlying men's oppressive and violent behavior toward women is a morass of buried fears, hurts, resentments, shame and compulsive needs for control and domination. I know that I struggle with these unconscious attitudes and, like other boys growing up in a patri archal culture, I defined myself in opposition to girls and their perceived weakness, softness, emotionalism, etc. Being called a "girl," a "sissie" or a "fag" is the worst insult to our budding manhood. I also experienced this in the Army. The record is clear that men in our society, and in virtually every other "civilized" society in history, have been socialized to be dominant, aggressive and war-like; and to disparage feelings, vulnerability, intuition, empathy, nurturing and other traditional femi nine qualities. Moore and Gillette contend that men's need to "detach from and contain the chaotic power of the 'feminine' unconscious may account for masculine sexual perversions such as 'bondage' and the violent sexual humiliation of women" (and other homophobic hate crimes, I might add). Men have many fears of women and their power. Our major fears relate to commit ment, connectedness, cooperation, intimacy, dependence and women's rejection, perceived weakness, vulnerability, emotional and sexual demands, and competition in the workplace. Opposition to women's reproductive freedom reflects another fear of women's power as we have been seeing in protests at abortion clinics escalating into terrorism and violence. Most men - in having an admixture of fear, hatred and love for their inner feminine - project an uncon scious craving for control over and free access to women's bodies. Insecure men experience a sense of safety, control and potency by dominating and attacking women, gays and other minorities considered weak, inferior or otherwise threat ening to male prejudice, privilege and power in our society. Our 10 billion dollar pornography industiy, and films and television shows, which glamorize and eroticize violence, are more evidence our male "Shadow Warrior" needs to dominate, conquer and humiliate women, and dehumanize ourselves in the process. Endly Men's Violence This is a monumental task that probably won't happen in our lifetimes. But, if we don't now totally commit to a collective, soulful ethic of non-violence, wisdom, reverence for all life and compassionate seiVice, we all may perish even within a generation. Our technological, corporate and consumer gluttony alone may irreparably damage our ecosystem and future well-being within 10 years according to global researchers like Lester Brown of the prestigious Worldwatch Institute. Many of us men are passionately committed to reclaiming our souls, yet we seem to tolerate massive personal, cultural and institutional assaults that damage and destroy the souls of millions of children, women and men, including ourselves, as various therapists and shamans are now reporting (see Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self by S. Ingerman). One of our biggest fears as men is that as we begin to painfully acknowledge our powerlessness and personal wounding, confronting violence will cause us even more pain, loss of power and even terror. So, our healing process can indeed be an enormous challenge to our male courage and commitment to wholeness, justice and a peaceful world. This work is also a serious, but necessary, challenge to our authentic King, Warrior, Lover and Magician energies. Some of us are now recognizing that our first task is to admit that we have been wounded and our second task is to begin healing one another. Aaron Kipnis describes the "twelve tasks of men" in his Knights Without Armor: A Practical Guide for Men in Quest of Masculine Soul. Growing numbers of courageous and compassionate men are already actively engaged in these healing tasks through counseling, therapy and support groups, intensive retreats and rituals, and recovery groups for rapists and batterers. Release of rage, sadness, shame and other deep emotional wounds is essential for most men in our society. I've found support groups, primal therapy marathons, deep ritual and anger work very liberating and healing for myself, my clients and other men I know. To stop male violence we must also stop seeking, glamorizing and rewarding aggressive, coercive (threat) power in our workplaces, relationships, media and other social institutions. Our dominator ethic is based on fear, separation, ruthless competition and dehumanization. Does this really work anymore? Is this the power that we want as enlightened men?? What is also essential is the recognition that our male privileges and traditional roles, and aspects of our power base, are rooted In male supremacy. So, ifwe are truly committed to ending male violence, restoring our individual, collective and "world soul" (James Hillman's term), and healing our relationships with women, children and the Earth, we need to heed the penetrating words of gay activist John Stoltenberg, Our contribution as traitorous witnesses must be to tell the revolutionary truth: that the hatred in rape, the hatred in queer-bashing, the hatred in racial violence are all related because they are rooted In male supremacy. And freedom from one cannot be achieved without freedom from them all (Empathy Journal. 1992). What many men are now realizing is that real power can be expressed in many ways that are peaceful, compassionate, empowering to others and life-enhancing. Sam Keen speaks to our "historical challenge to discover a peaceful form of virility and to create an ecological commonwealth, to become fierce gentlemen (Fire in the Bellyl." Just as disempowerment is a result of separation, dMsion and projection, according to L. Robert Keck (Sacred Eyes), so also is empowerment the result ofwholeness,integration and the discove:ry of our own taproot to the power of the universe (and of nature, our "green man" and "wild man"). This new empowerment is enabling us to realize love as the essential core of reality and ofthe ontological (being) nature of power. I'm convinced that authentic love- as unifying fusion energy - is the most powerful force in the universe and the ultimate source of human sexuality, creativity, happiness, peace and justice in the world. Robert Bly and other movement leaders, however, criticize this rich source of loving, nurturing power some men are accessing; the non-aggressive power ("soft power'') associated with women's ways. I find it puzzling that women are considered "soft" when they outlive men by seven years and may have a greater capacity to endure pain. Working wives also generally work longer hours than their husbands when housework and child care are factored in. So, I fully agree with Teny Kupers, M.D., who takes exception to Bly. Cooperation, concern about the plight of others, re- spect for nature, and a host of other qualities we associ ate with women today are the ingredients for a greater power than men now have••• If there is to be social progress, men and women must stand together against the wrongs of patriarchal culture, or else power would be left to those who are more competetive, greedy, and ruthless ... But the toughness that is required will not come from stigmatizing men who are deeply connected with women and the feminine within (Revisioning Men's Lives: Gender. Intimacy and Power). The inclusive, life-enhancing power that Kupers advocates has been called integrative power. Kenneth Boulding defines this as the ability to achieve our desires through love, nur turing, loyalty and other positive connections with people (Three Faces of Power). Isn't this the type of power that we are beginning to express and share with our male friends in our retreats, rituals and support groups? Isn't this what "integrity" is all about? And, isn't this the essential moral and ethical power that needs to guide our personal conduct, institutions and nation? In the spirit of the Eightfold Path of Buddha, with its injunctions about Right Liveli hood, Right Speech, and so on, Marilyn Ferguson suggests that we also think in terms of Right Power--power used not as a battering ram or to glorify the ego but in service to life. Appropriate Power. Ferguson has an entire chapter on Right Power in which she describes over 15 new sources· of creative, liberating power such as vocation, self-knowledge, wholeness, uncertainty, intuition/imagination, networking, women and the power to liberate and express hidden aspects of ourselves (The Aguarian Conspiracy). Fathering, mentoring, healing, ritual, arts, crafts, cooperative games and genuine friendship can also be expressions of creative, integrative power for men. Servant leadership (empowering others) and compassionate action (helping the homeless, saving the environ ment, etc.) also embody our life-giving heart and soul power; i.e., our mature masculine Warrior, King, Lover and Magician archetypes. More genuine dialogue, improved communication and conflict resolution skills can also defuse violence. Effective conflict resolution programs and ''win-win" strategies have begun in our schools, workplaces and prisons (see The Magic of Conflict byT. Crum). Too, progressive businesses are flattening the rigid organizational hierarchies that promote tensions, insecurities and antagonisms. We are also seeing more worker empowerment, teamwork and partnerships: pooling, allying and linking across companies. We can also gain wisdom from non-violent spiritual leaders, like Martin Luther King and Mahatma Gandhi, and long-standing religious and philosophical traditions, such as Buddhism and the Quakerism. Buddhism embodies principles of ahimsa (harmlessness), compassionate action (see books by Ram Dass), and the Sacred Path of the Enlightened Warrior (see Shambhala by Chogyam Trungpa). King led the civil rights movement and is the most acclaimed American peace activist of the 20th century. Gandhi liberated India from Brittish tyranny through satyagraha ("soul force" or "truth force"). It has been suggested that Gandhi modeled his campaign of non-violent resistance on the Brittish suffragists. He praised these women for their suffering and courage and said that "if satyagraha is to be the mode of the future, then the future belongs to women." Ending the spreading cancer of men's violence is a critical response( ability) of all men and women in our society, especially those of us in positions of influence. We must come together, dialogue honestly and creatively, courageously acknowledge the pervasiveness, complexities and tangled roots of violence, and boldly seek new solutions such as Vision Quests, ritualized outlets for aggression, empathy trainings, peace studies, new partnership organizational models, a new global psychology and the mass cultivation of authentic power - the alignment of the personality with the soul. Now is the time for each of us to stop violating our own integrity, humanity, creative potential and capacity for joy, deep wisdom, authentic power and true freedom! Now is the time for all good men to stand together as mature Kings, Lovers, Warriors and Magicians!! Now is the time to transform the social and economic structures that divide us, damage and imprison our souls, and create seedbeds for the massive destruction of life itselfl!! DAN BUTTS 40 Oxford, Pleasant Ridge, MI 48069 1-810-543-2463 ! t!1a romsmt. pi11alyaM -with s.u li :~trt d-1~ ml'lhlug or, A· women and men an wDrk 1og~lhct lo cid or J:tm. io sitrn alxmt liolen;;:e a~ i wt $le.Jd, tl)l \l l®bilir:e a-~ ltsel roe$ to r«OWtiud tire k;~d~lt1p of wnmtn over cUt socie1y ofone of iiSg.eatest plagues. ':i'I'Omro. ~h~nge ~!f. Vlt! .ue ·ns 1he ~vud tb.: pa$t 10 yeus ill •he s uu~le (Q t:ad wiQ- Grappling wit it sruc:s of :riol~n~ ill ru lllclr, ,., Jir«