The Cord Weekly (January 30, 1992)
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AWlLFRID lAURIER UNIVERSilY STUDENT PUBUCATION VOLUME XXXII, ISSUE 19 THURSDAY, JANUARY 30, 1992 His name is Sheffield... Fisher Sheffield. IN FAT ITY \ ~· ""'~""':" - _ • , • \ I f f l II Did you ever see a dream walking7 He laughed cruelly. "She's that I snarled, ''I'm gonna amputate The Cord. His first major article, little whore who's always hang- your tongue! I'm gonna rip your "Savagery and Sorrow in ing around the weight room." intestines out through your bum!" Steeltown", did not have the ,.~ I froze. Everything went quiet, I growled, as I drove my fists into catharic value that he thought it '] C.lll and became very focussed. A his face and ribs, and he started to would: oh sure, the article helped cold fury flashed through me. My breath funny... him work out the nature of his hands slowly curled up into fists. As I drove the guy head-first new relationship with his best so I put my elbow in his back, "What did you just say?" I into the cereal shelf, I saw the friend, the wangely-named Dub- I've held a lot of different and dropped a 2 L can of tomato hissed. manager of the supermarket out Dub-Dub, and allowed him to )lbs in my lifetime, but I'd have paste on his foot. He was grinning. "I said, your of the comer of my eye: my ex- vent his sadness and anger 10 say that my favourite job was "Jerk. .. you got a problem?" he sister's a whore." boss had rounded up some of the towards the girl, the ever- as a stock boy at the Jones turned to me and asked. I grabbed him by the throat, bigger members of the grocery cheerful Siobhan, but there is still Brothers Supermarket. It wasn't "No, I've got no problem with and spun him around off the department staff, and they were one piece of the puzzle that is easy work, or a well-paying job, jerks who cut in line." ground and into the magazine moving in to break up the brawl. missing, one thread left to ex- but when that periodic rage built "Hey!. .. Shut up." stand. People were screaming, "Good Lord! I know this plore. ap inside of me, frustration could "Why don't you give it a try, and trying to wheel their carts out one!" I heard the manager ex- The other girl: Paulina. be released by day-dreaming and make me?" I laughed, and of the way. I drove into the guy, claim, "And he was crazy back This is their story. llbout smashing up all the stock smiled. and as he hunched over, put my then!" 111 the shelves. "Stop grinning, you little elbow into the back of his skull, As the guy smashed the right Sometimes during the night jerk!" He grabbed my shirt and and my knees repeatedly into his side of my face with his ketchup I'd sit back and dream about lhift pushed me up against the maga stomach. Out of nowhere he bottle, ketchup flew everywhere, !ringing a shotgun into the store zine stand, holding on. brought a can of creamed com and I staggered long enough for shooting up all the bottles of SAVAGERY lid At this, the bagboy skittered into my face, smashing my nose, three of the staff members to pull ~~::n:=J> ketchup, upending the trays of off to go find somebody who was and knocking off my glasses. me up off of the guy I was pound- bread, pitching bottles of Pepsi over the age of fourteen. I stepped back, grabbed the ing, pull me away, and pull me rpinst the back wall, stomping I just beamed away at the guy lapels of his jacket, and threw out of the aisle ... 1P and down in the watermelon holding my shirt: he was a big him through a display of baked One of the cashiers close to SORROW bil, taking a baseball bat to the dumb animal, and I had him con beans, and into an aisle end dis- the scene went hysterical when id display of laundry fused. play of maple syrup. He bounced she saw me. "Oh God! Oh God! INFATCXTY tergent, hurling tomato after "Get the hell off me," I off of the shelf and into the cereal The blood! You're bleeding IS bnato after tomato against the eventually told him, "what are aisle before I could reach him. everywhere!" She screamed. 6ont window, and slashing up all you gonna do? Start a fight in a He was staggering, with a "Bull!" I managed to gasp, CONTINUED plastic bags of milk with my supermarket?" bottle of ketchup in his left hand, just before passing out, "It's just cardboard knife. Gradually he let go of my by the time I flew into him. As I ketchup ... " and then I collapsed to ON And so I found myself the shirt. "I know you," he said, thrust him against the shelf of the floor. r day, arguing with some jerk "You're Fisher Sheffield. Marie jarred pickles, shards of glass and PAGE line at the supcr111arket. He'd Shcffields's older brother." pickle juice exploded every One year later, one year older, lluaed in front of me in the ex "How do you know my where. Fisher Sheffield is still an angry 14 lane at the Jones Brothers, sister?" I whispered. "You jerk! You lousy creep!" young man writing poison for • I • I • I • l0 • PR£1~/YTi ~ E • ! $1 - llCKEIS AT lHE OOOR c!): . r--~------------Kom . Nite PA77NG~ 0~!f'~c!D~~~ TUf:Y FEB ft A . ama I I J J • Steve Levine ~!J,~~!J,~!I C)'--Y NIP./.; i s-Q:- f/i) . <:s..0 . i -w.... ~ StG!N UP Wa.t~ ;_e~-:r- !! : ~!.e:~~ 1:~ J: i Win g1ft cert~1cotes for" :$,~,¢~~ . i )t. _r ~ *" HL1FV ~- . ~~~~ ·. .;- ~ ... ~ ~·~-i I . ./ SK l PASSE:.S '-%:" !f/ • IVIC»NI FEEl ~ ! STUDENTS' UNION I STUDENT PUBLICATIONS ELECTI~ Night skllng at Chloopee I Tlckets $j2.00 (Incl. transportatlon) • $20.00 (with rentals) I AVAILABLE AT INFO CENTRE . ~D- FEB. IS I are open until JANUARY 31 at 4:30pm • for the following positions: Tamlae Talent Night In the Turret I wtth special guest appearance by • Glider I *President aVIce-President, University Affairs, Students' Union Tickets: $4.00 . • *Board of Directors, Students' Union TALENT NIGHT ENTRANCE FORMS I AT THE INFO BOOTH • *Board of Directors, Student Publications THURS. FEB.& I *President, Student Publications Bob Labart • In wnrs • Nomination packages are available ~ ~ e:z:::::rv- """us • e - Tickets: $3.00 in the Students' Union THURSDAY• .J.A.~~.A.R.Y 30~ 1992 -:ri-m C::~R.:O EDITORIAL PAGE Editorial: ... ·· · · ·· 'Doing the Bush thing adies and gentlemen of the jury, I'd like to offer the following for your consideration: it's only been two months (to the very day) since the Wilfrid Laurier University Golden Hawks won the national football championship, but walking around campus you'd never know it. At the risk of sounding like a patriot -- of doing the George Bush thing -- I'd like to raise a few questions: where's all our pre-Vanier Cup, purple-and-gold school spirit gone? Back into the closet for another year (or twenty)? And why is it that the Laurier community, after any type of accomplishment that does us proud, habitually pulls down its tents, packs up its gear, and goes home quietly? Why not revel in our achievements for a little while? Celebrate our victories for longer than the moment, and thus pay honour to our university, and the choices that we have all made that brought us here top this very special place we now call home? Laurier is one of the best damn schools in Ontario, if not Canada. It's the type of place where an individual can still make a difference, and where, quite frequently, they do. I'd like to offer into evidence exhibit A -- myself - that any old jerk can just walk in off the street and one day find himself or herself writing the lead editorial for the school newspaper. I like this place, this little plot of land bounded by four street~, this Laurier. And while I fully undPrstand the attitude of "quiet pride" -- carrying your heart in your chest instead of wearing it on your shirt sleeve-- I condemn those who attack my university, or worse yet, stand by and do nothing for her... and I just wish that we could all be a little more vocal in our support of our school. This is not an exhortation to outfit your entire wardrobe at the Purple and Gold. This is not a call to arms for the coming attack on any other university. This is not mindless cheerleading. This is a pause to consider ... what makes a university a community? ... what responsibilities do we have to Wilfrid Laurier, in addition to the rights we draw from her? ... and next time the Hawks, in any sport, go to the national championship, will we be better prepared to capitalize on the patriotic moment, and carry the feeling past sunset and into the rest of the year? Maybe it's time we all sent a letter home to Maw and Pop, admitting that Laurier can be an exciting place when it has to. And the next time you're getting on a train back to Brampton, or you're back at your old high school watering hole in St. Catherines, and you see somebody wearing a Laurier • .