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Dan Mintner Badass for Hire V 2.Fdr Script
DAN MINTER: BADASS FOR HIRE Screenplay by Chad Kultgen NOTE: DO NOT TURN THE PAGE UNLESS YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOUR OWN ASS BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT TO BE KICKED. 2. FADE IN: INT. WAREHOUSE/FACTORY, SOUTH AMERICA - DAY Candy Cane, Wacky Dust, Weasel Dust, Angie, Bernice, Aunt Nora, Barbs, Bazooka, Nose Candy, Bubble Gum, Carnie, Carie Nation, Foo-Foo Dust, Gift of the Sun, Cecil, Bernie, Billy Hoke, Henry VIII, Ice, Jelly, Lady, Girl, Merk, Pearl, Pimp, Schmeck, Scottie, Scorpion, Teeth, Snort, Blow, Snow, Con- Con... CO-MOTHERFUCKING-CAINE. Mountains of the shit as far as the eye can see loom over dozens of scurrying SOUTH AMERICAN COCAINE FACTORY WORKERS in a giant warehouse/cocaine factory. They weigh it, cut it, package it, etc. as they navigate the narrow walkways between the massive mounds. P.S. They’re all carrying machine guns. From a perch high above the workers, in a plush office with big screen TV’s, a fat South American COCAINE KINGPIN keeps a proud but watchful gaze over his empire. With him is a SLEEZY AMERICAN DRUG BUYER. COCAINE KINGPIN As you can see, my operation is large enough to meet any demand. SLEEZY AMERICAN DRUG BUYER But large isn’t always good. Too many people under you... How do you know they’re all loyal? The Cocaine Kingpin’s scowl might as well turn into a boot that kicks the Sleezy American Drug Buyer right in the nuts, but instead, he reigns it in and it turns into a knowing smile. COCAINE KINGPIN Loyalty, my friend, is something you Americans know little about and that’s why you always question it. -
Riley Thorn and the Dead Guy Next Door
RILEY THORN AND THE DEAD GUY NEXT DOOR LUCY SCORE Copyright © 2020 Lucy Score All rights reserved No Part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electric or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without prior written permission from the publisher. The book is a work of fiction. The characters and events in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental and not intended by the author. ISBN: 978-1-945631-67-2 (ebook) ISBN: 978-1-945631-68-9 (paperback) lucyscore.com 082320 CONTENTS Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Epilogue Author’s Note to the Reader WONDERING WHAT TO READ NEXT?: About the Author Acknowledgments Lucy’s Titles To Josie, a real life badass. 1 10:02 p.m., Saturday, July 4 he dead talked to Riley Thorn in her dreams. -
The Pacifier
The Pacifier by Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant Previous Revisions by Jason Fulardi & Scott Alexander & Larry Karaszewki Current Revisions by Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant Marked Revisions * March 3rd, 2004 FADE IN: EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - DAY A fishing boat pushes over choppy water. FOUR GUN TOTING MEN on Jet Skis wearing black wet suits and goggles escort the boat. Flying above it is a HELICOPTER. INT. FISHING BOAT/CONTROL DECK - CONTINUOUS A SERBIAN MAN captains the wheel. SERB 2 scans the horizon with binoculars. He checks the GPS system, then his watch, then speaks into his throat mic. All italics are Serbian w/ subtitles: SERB 2 Fifteen minutes to delivery. EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - CONTINUOUS The JET SKIER in the lead weighs in on a radio. INT. SEA HAWK 1 - CONTINUOUS The HELICOPTER PILOT weighs in. PILOT All clear from above. EXT. SKY - CONTINUOUS The camera descends as the boat passes, and dives beneath the surface. EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - CONTINUOUS The droning of engines becomes less pronounced. Foam from the boat and skis bubbles. Calm. Then from out of nowhere five NAVY SEALs wearing RE- BREATHERS appear, in neat formation like the Blue Angels. JET PROPELLED BACKPACKS push the SEALs through the water. The LEAD SEAL: SHANE WOLFE, points upwards. All eyes follow his finger to the underbelly of the boat above. From his belt, Shane takes a steel wand with an adhesive disc attached, aims it at the fleeing boat and FIRES. A cable shoots up -- THUD... The disc sticks to the boat’s hull. Shane pushes a button on the wand retracting the cable and drawing himself closer. -
The Artillery of Critique Versus the General Uncritical Consensus: Standing up to Propaganda, 1990-1999
THE ARTILLERY OF CRITIQUE VERSUS THE GENERAL UNCRITICAL CONSENSUS: STANDING UP TO PROPAGANDA, 1990-1999 by Andrew Alexander Monti Master of Arts, York University, Toronto, Canada, 2013 Bachelor of Science, Bocconi University, Milan, Italy, 2005 A dissertation presented to Ryerson University and York University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the Joint Program of Communication and Culture Toronto, Ontario, Canada, 2018 © Andrew Alexander Monti, 2018 AUTHOR’S DECLARATION FOR ELECTRONIC SUBMISSION OF A DISSERTATION I hereby declare that I am the sole author of this dissertation. This is a true copy of the dissertation, including any required final revisions, as accepted by my examiners. I authorize Ryerson University to lend this dissertation to other institutions or individuals for the purpose of scholarly research. I further authorize Ryerson University to reproduce this dissertation by photocopying or by other means, in total or in part, at the request of other institutions or individuals for the purpose of scholarly research. I understand that my dissertation may be made electronically available to the public. ii ABSTRACT The Artillery of Critique versus the General Uncritical Consensus: Standing Up to Propaganda, 1990-1999 Andrew Alexander Monti Doctor of Philosophy Communication and Culture Ryerson University, 2018 In 2011, leading comedy scholars singled-out two shortcomings in stand-up comedy research. The first shortcoming suggests a theoretical void: that although “a number of different disciplines take comedy as their subject matter, the opportunities afforded to the inter-disciplinary study of comedy are rarely, if ever, capitalized on.”1 The second indicates a methodological void: there is a “lack of literature on ‘how’ to analyse stand-up comedy.”2 This research project examines the relationship between political consciousness and satirical humour in stand-up comedy and attempts to redress these two shortcomings. -
The GRAMMY Museum Presents George Carlin: a Place for My Stuff
The GRAMMY Museum Presents George Carlin: A Place For My Stuff New Display to Open Sept. 30 Commemorating The Late GRAMMY-winning comedian WHO: The GRAMMY Museum will commemorate GRAMMY-winning comedian George Carlin with a new display opening Wednesday, Sept. 30, 2015 on the Museum's third floor. The exhibit will mark the third display in the Museum's comedy series, following previous tributes to Rodney Dangerfield and Joan Rivers. WHAT: Artifacts on display in George Carlin: A Place For My Stuff will include: Carlin's GRAMMY Awards and other accolades Childhood scrapbook and photos The set list from his performances on The Tonight Show in 1962 and The Ed Sullivan Show in 1971 His public arrest records Script from the 1999 cult film Dogma And more "Ever since I became the keeper of my dad's stuff in 2008, I have enjoyed sharing little bits of it with friends and comedians," said Kelly Carlin, the comedian's daughter. "But to know that his fans will now get to see some of it, makes my heart swell with joy. I am thrilled that the GRAMMY Museum is creating a place for his stuff." "George Carlin helped redefine the art form of stand-up comedy. He used his talent to not only entertain, but to question conventional wisdom and social injustices," said Bob Santelli, Executive Director of the GRAMMY Museum. "With this latest display in our comedy series, we continue to spotlight some of the greatest comedy acts, many of whom have been recognized by the GRAMMY Awards." WHEN & WHERE: George Carlin: A Place For My Stuff will be on display at the GRAMMY Museum through March 2016. -
Scene I the Farragut Boat Club South Side of Chicago
1 SIXTEEN INCHES SIXTEEN INCH 2 CHARACTERS FARRAGUT BOAT CLUB EDWARD: White, architect, 30, Harvard graduate, exceedingly friendly, quick to take the lead in a situation. Has become a proud Chicagoan, despite early upbringing in New England area. JAMES: White, 27, businessman, Yale graduate, a tightly wound man, prides himself on making lucrative deals. Considers himself one of the rebuilders of Chicago after the Great Fire. JOSEPH: White, lawyer, 29, Yale graduate, congenial, sometimes a bit clueless (despite being a lawyer). GEORGE: White, 33, reporter, Harvard graduate, reserved demeanor because he likes to keep his ear open for new information. As a reporter has seen the redevelopment of the city first-hand after the Fire and sees the changes in demographics. It interests and worries him. WAVELAND SOFTBALL FIELD (Note: The character descriptions are written as if they’re being spoken by one of the characters themselves, but more like someone who knows them. Hopefully it gives a feel for the tone, the mindset of the main characters in the play. They are rude, profane, blunt-by-accident, but familiar enough with each other to say the things they say.) EDDIE: One of those run-of-the-mill Chicago Polish guys (HE can call himself a “Polack” but you probably shouldn’t.) Looks about 10 years older than he really is, so I’m guessing he’s, I don't know, about 42 or something? His hair’s already turning grey. Kinda got some muscles but not from working out…just that naturally strong shit, you know? Works for the city like his father and uncle. -
COMEDY WRITING SECRETS, Copyright 2005 © by Melvin Helitzer
secrets 2nd edition secrets the best-selling book on how to think funny, write funny, act funny, and get paid for it Mel Helitzer with Mark Shatz WRITER'S DIGEST BOOKS Cincinnati, Ohio www. writersdigest.com COMEDY WRITING SECRETS, Copyright 2005 © by Melvin Helitzer. Printed and bound in the United States of America. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote passages in a review. Published by Writer's Digest Books, an imprint of F+W Publications, Inc., 4700 East Galbraith Road, Cincinnati, Ohio 45236, (800) 289-0963. Second edition. Other fine Writer's Digest Books are available at your local bookstore or direct from the publisher. 09 08 07 06 05 5 4 3 2 1 Distributed in Canada by Fraser Direct, 100 Armstrong Avenue, Georgetown, ON, Canada L7G 5S4, Tel: (905) 877-4411. Distributed in the U.K. and Europe by David & Charles, Brunei House, Newton Abbot, Devon, TQ12 4PU, England, Tel: (+44) 1626 323200, Fax: (+44) 1626 323319, E-mail: [email protected]. Distributed in Australia by Capricorn Link, P.O. Box 704, S. Windsor NSW, 2756 Australia, Tel: (02) 4577-3555. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Helitzer, Melvin. Comedy writing secrets: the best-selling book on how to think funny, write funny, act funny, and get paid for it / by Mel Helitzer with Mark Shatz. p. cm. Includes index. ISBN 1-58297-357-1 (pbk.: alk. -
Politically Correct Language in George Carlin
Montclair State University Montclair State University Digital Commons Theses, Dissertations and Culminating Projects 5-2020 Politically Correct Language in George Carlin Alan Schultz Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.montclair.edu/etd Part of the English Language and Literature Commons Abstract American stand-up comedian George Carlin is notable for his long-standing popularity from the early 60s up until his death in 2008. In this paper, I examine George Carlin’s stance on politically correct language. Focusing on his three books Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, I show how his attempts to remove himself from a politically correct system ultimately fail as he adheres to his own ideals of language and morality. Using his texts and various work from Stanley Fish to support these claims, I show how Carlin ridicules the redundancies and hypocrisies that exist when groups claim words as their own. While breaking down these claims on political correctness, Carlin implements his own set of values. I show how there is no direct way to escape politicizing language. However, Carlin’s position as stand-up comic allows for a more fluid approach to politically correct language, as it offers a way to shift leanings and explore various forms of ideology permitting audiences a way to think differently about the world around them. POLITICALLY CORRECT LANGUAGE IN GEORGE CARLIN A THESIS Submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements For the degree of Master of Arts by Alan Schultz Montclair State University Montclair, NJ 2020 Table of Contents Thesis Page 1 Works Cited Page 27 Schultz 1 The 1960s and ’70s were times of massive cultural change for America. -
Disclaimer—& 71 Book Quotes
Links within “Main” & Disclaimer & 71 Book Quotes 1. The Decoration of Independence - Upload (PDF) of Catch Me If You Can QUOTE - Two Little Mice (imdb) 2. know their rights - State constitution (United States) (Wiki) 3. cop-like expression - Miranda warning (wiki) 4. challenge the industry - Hook - Don’t Mess With Me Man, I’m A Lawyer (Youtube—0:04) 5. a fairly short explanation of the industry - Big Daddy - That Guy Doesn’t Count. He Can’t Even Read (Youtube—0:03) 6. 2 - The Prestige - Teach You How To Read (Youtube—0:12) 7. how and why - Upload (PDF) of Therein lies the rub (idiom definition) 8. it’s very difficult just to organize the industry’s tactics - Upload (PDF) of In the weeds (definition—wiktionary) 9. 2 - Upload (PDF) of Tease out (idiom definition) 10. blended - Spaghetti junction (wiki) 11. 2 - Upload (PDF) of Foreshadowing (wiki) 12. 3 - Patience (wiki) 13. first few hundred lines (not sentences) or so - Stretching (wiki) 14. 2 - Warming up (wiki) 15. pictures - Mug shot (wiki) 16. not much fun involved - South Park - Cartmanland (GIF) (Giphy) (Youtube—0:12) 17. The Cat in the Hat - The Cat in the Hat (wiki) 18. more of them have a college degree than ever before - Correlation and dependence (wiki) 19. hopefully someone was injured - Tropic Thunder - We’ll weep for him…In the press (GetYarn) (Youtube—0:11) 20. 2 - Wedding Crashers - Funeral Scene (Youtube—0:42) 21. many cheat - Casino (1995) - Cheater’s Justice (Youtube—1:33) 22. house of representatives - Upload (PDF) Pic of Messy House—Kids Doing Whatever—Parent Just Sitting There & Pregnant 23. -
George Carlin 1 George Carlin
George Carlin 1 George Carlin George Carlin Carlin in Trenton, New Jersey on April 4, 2008 Birth name George Denis Patrick Carlin Born May 12, 1937Manhattan, New York, U.S. Died June 22, 2008 (aged 71)Santa Monica, California, U.S. Medium Stand-up, television, film, books, radio Nationality American Years active 1956–2008 Genres Character comedy, observational comedy, Insult comedy, wit/word play, satire/political satire, black comedy, surreal humor, sarcasm, blue comedy Subject(s) American culture, American English, everyday life, atheism, recreational drug use, death, philosophy, human behavior, American politics, parenting, children, religion, profanity, psychology, Anarchism, race relations, old age, pop culture, self-deprecation, childhood, family [1] [2] [2] [3] [4] [5] [2] [5] [2] [5] Influences Danny Kaye, Jonathan Winters, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Jerry Lewis, Marx Brothers, Mort [4] [5] [5] [2] [5] Sahl, Spike Jones, Ernie Kovacs, Ritz Brothers Monty Python [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] Influenced Chris Rock, Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Hicks, Jim Norton, Sam Kinison, Louis C.K., Bill Cosby, Lewis Black, Jon [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Bill Maher, Denis Leary, Patrice O'Neal, Adam Carolla, Colin Quinn, Steven [17] [18] [19] [19] [20] Wright, Russell Peters, Jay Leno, Ben Stiller, Kevin Smith Spouse Brenda Hosbrook (August 5, 1961 — May 11, 1997) (her death) 1 child [21] Sally Wade (June 24, 1998 — June 22, 2008) (his death) Notable works Class Clown and roles "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" Mr. Conductor -
Infinitely Polar Bear by Maya Forbes EXT
Infinitely Polar Bear By Maya Forbes EXT. COUNTRYSIDE. DAY A man strides up a grassy hill. He is in his late-30s, clean- shaven with shaggy hair. He wears a well-cut tweed riding jacket, jodhpurs and riding boots. He carries a large shillelagh which rests on his shoulder. This is CAM STUART. He sings with gusto, a Civil War marching song. CAM ...John Brown’s body lies a- mouldering in the grave/ John Brown’s body lies a-mouldering in the grave John Brown’s body lies a-mouldering in the grave His soul is marching on/ Glory, glory hallelulah/ Glory, glory hallelulah... At the top of the hill there is a boulder. It catches his eye and he cocks his head, bemused. Laid out on the surface of the rock is a cheap fake beard. He looks around. There is not a person or a building in sight. The tall grass bends in the wind. EXT. HILLSIDE. DAY Cam, now wearing the fake beard, stands on the rock, gazing out imperiously. He takes several deep breaths through his nose, appreciating the fresh air. Then he jumps off the boulder and continues his song as he marches down the hill. CAM He’s gone to be a soldier in the army of the Lord/ He’s gone to be a soldier in the army of the Lord/ He’s gone to be a soldier in the army of the Lord... He disappears from view. A TITLE CARD READS: 1978. INT. CHILDS’ BEDROOM. NIGHT In the darkness, we hear: CAM (O.S.) Girls, wake up. -
Digital Commons @ Gardner-Webb University Volume 49 (2017)
Gardner-Webb University Digital Commons @ Gardner-Webb University The Broad River Review Literary Societies and Publications 2017 Volume 49 (2017) C.V. Davis Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalcommons.gardner-webb.edu/brreview Part of the English Language and Literature Commons, Fiction Commons, Nonfiction Commons, and the Poetry Commons Recommended Citation Davis, C.V., "Volume 49 (2017)" (2017). The Broad River Review. 16. https://digitalcommons.gardner-webb.edu/brreview/16 This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Literary Societies and Publications at Digital Commons @ Gardner-Webb University. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Broad River Review by an authorized administrator of Digital Commons @ Gardner-Webb University. For more information, please contact [email protected]. THE BROAD RIVER REVIEW Volume 49 2017 The Literary Review of Gardner-Webb University Boiling Springs, North Carolina T HE B ROAD R IVER R EVIEW ASSOCIATE EDITORS Jasmine Case Brianna Crump Kirsten Daley Jeffrey Day Callista Eckert Lizzie Erhartic Jonathan Goldenberg Amanda Harnish Kallie Ingle Mallory Moore Marsden Murray Brooke Penley Joseph Rash Hannah Ray Hayley Sowell Brandon Tolley The Broad River Review is published annually by the Department of English Language and Literature at Gardner-Webb University in Boiling Springs, North Carolina. Upon request, this publication can be provided in an alternate format by calling (704) 406-4414. Acknowledgements Cover Photo: “Autumn is Calling” by Ashley Koch, 2017 Broad River Review, v. 49, 2017 [email protected] www.broadriverreview.org CONTENTS EDITORS’ NOTE vi THE RASH AWARD IN FICTION Linda Heuring, Red Light, Green Light 8 THE RASH AWARD IN POETRY Priscilla Webster-Williams Occupational Therapy at a TB Sanitarium, 1952 19 J.