Dan Mintner Badass for Hire V 2.Fdr Script
DAN MINTER: BADASS FOR HIRE Screenplay by Chad Kultgen NOTE: DO NOT TURN THE PAGE UNLESS YOU HAVE NO RESPECT FOR YOUR OWN ASS BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT TO BE KICKED. 2. FADE IN: INT. WAREHOUSE/FACTORY, SOUTH AMERICA - DAY Candy Cane, Wacky Dust, Weasel Dust, Angie, Bernice, Aunt Nora, Barbs, Bazooka, Nose Candy, Bubble Gum, Carnie, Carie Nation, Foo-Foo Dust, Gift of the Sun, Cecil, Bernie, Billy Hoke, Henry VIII, Ice, Jelly, Lady, Girl, Merk, Pearl, Pimp, Schmeck, Scottie, Scorpion, Teeth, Snort, Blow, Snow, Con- Con... CO-MOTHERFUCKING-CAINE. Mountains of the shit as far as the eye can see loom over dozens of scurrying SOUTH AMERICAN COCAINE FACTORY WORKERS in a giant warehouse/cocaine factory. They weigh it, cut it, package it, etc. as they navigate the narrow walkways between the massive mounds. P.S. They’re all carrying machine guns. From a perch high above the workers, in a plush office with big screen TV’s, a fat South American COCAINE KINGPIN keeps a proud but watchful gaze over his empire. With him is a SLEEZY AMERICAN DRUG BUYER. COCAINE KINGPIN As you can see, my operation is large enough to meet any demand. SLEEZY AMERICAN DRUG BUYER But large isn’t always good. Too many people under you... How do you know they’re all loyal? The Cocaine Kingpin’s scowl might as well turn into a boot that kicks the Sleezy American Drug Buyer right in the nuts, but instead, he reigns it in and it turns into a knowing smile. COCAINE KINGPIN Loyalty, my friend, is something you Americans know little about and that’s why you always question it.
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