V

VOLUME 64, ISSUE 13, 18 JUNE 1990 TEL: (09) 366-0413 or (09) 390-789 FAX: (09) 303-2236

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1 many of children, ything to ough our ie 1900s, ' the need l no way y respon- copies of to me at e sure of Editorial NOTICE It has certainly been an interesting cou­ a) Among other groups, homosexuals ple of weeks as interim and now full-time were persecuted in WW2 (and after) by The cafeterias run by the Auckland University Students' editor (and believe me it is full-time). On the fascists we’ve all come to know and the whole we have received a great deal loathe. Thus to call Nazis gay is particu­ Association will be closed on Monday 18th June as a of positive feedback on the new editor­ larly ironic, nay satirical. result of industrial action being taken by the staff. ship, with the publication date being the b) The complete title, “It’s True! Gay Na­ The ball, descr jewell in the crown. zis on Campus” is playing on the tedious As far as AUSA is concerned, we remain prepared to AUSA vice presid It’s been some AVi years since Craccum sensationalism which the New Zealand talk to the union at any time. We believe our offers are hard Cornes as “a has actually been produced on time, and media gave to the Simon Rosenthal reasonable as they reflect the percentage trend of award ly dreadful” feai our advertising manager is now sleeping Centre’s list of Nazis believed to be in Country and \ easy at nights. N.Z. settlements in general. ... Despite pay However, you can’t please all the peo­ c) Above everything else, or if these two each for tickets, ; ple all the time, and we haven’t. It would explainations were all a bit too subtle, The industrial action being taken is illegal and the Asso­ found the bar tab appear that the cover of Issue 12 caused then there was the intention that it might ciation is reviewing the action it will take to counter that. at about 10pm. more than a little stir. The right to com­ just be vaguely humourous. AUSA But t-he Norther plain if a matter disagrees with your own Clearly it is impossible to make an cal Workers Unio) personal opinion is all very well, but the omelette without breaking a few eggs, and Uluiviti was u line, I think, must be drawn at verbally no doubt other contentious issues will dismissed and she accusing a person of being ‘subconscious­ cause offence in the future. used as a scapeg ly homophobic’ and using the position of Craccum will remain a forum for the - AUSA blame over AUSA power (that is, the Editorship) to oppress debate of the pros and cons of issues, but cial mess. The un minority groups, as happened recently. such personal attacks as mentioned above Ella and baby progress well. Where are wants to represent you and we can’t if you the association m The crux of the argument was basical­ will have no audience in this paper. all the entries for our name the baby com­ won’t come forward — you do pay your Thursday (June 21 ly that the heading says ‘Gay Nazis on This is not a restriction on freedon of petition, we’ve ony got a hundred so far union fees so use us. cuss the sacking. Campus’, therefore the editors are stat­ speech — it is merely an effort to keep — some gorgeous names too. Restructuring and review are words AUSA secretar ing that all homosexuals are Nazis, and cheap, libellous rubbish from what we While awaiting some kind of inspira­ that fly around AUSA from time to time. dreNehua said A l that this is an abhorrent statement. That hope will be a fine newspaper. tion as to what to say to the masses I We need to make our structures more hu­ been flooded witl is very true — it is abhorrent and what M.R. watched TV3 Nightline. Our charismatic man, graceful, partnering, powersharing, laints over the Ma is more the aforesaid editors did at no PM was on and my God was he boring. accessible and places of encounter and fel­ and she received 1 time state this. Had it read ‘Nazi Gays on At one point he was heard to say “What lowship, my hope would be that we keep calls a day for tl Campus’ then this point of view might be am I supposed to be doing now?” What in mind the servant-hood of structures. weeks following t valid. P.S. Congratulations to Vangelis Vitalis, a dickhead. He was also spewing forth They are to serve the organic body’s life She was last w Furthermore, the intended purpose of Jock Bennett, Shane Enright and Alistair about full employmnet by 1995 — — to give it shape not dominate. getting angry phc that cover is being missed by those hu­ Shaw on their appointment as SRC reps remember when it was 1991 — remember Now to educational issues. Thanks to and letters. mourless souls. These are: to the Craccum Administration Board. when they said students wouldn’t have to all those who took part in the ‘arm and pay more for their tertiary education — a leg’ protest — it was great and looked Band booed 0 remember they are liars. good on TV3 Nightline. The Education Nehua says s So what will we all do in the general Action Group which meets regularly each were disappointed CREDITS election? Is there a real alternative? Even Tuesday at 1pm in Room 138 (behind TV choice of hillbill though the Clarke-Palmer duo make Room) are now planning for National The Waltons as tl Editors: Peter Gray, Simon Holroyd, Mark Roach Bolger look positively amazing — it will Week of Action (July 16-23) and activi­ ball entertainers. Features Journalist: Max Chappie [Tel: (09) 390-789 Ext 840] be a win by default. Can anyone remem­ ties around the third instalment. The “I think if I hi Technical Editor: Tony Bell ber who the Deputy leader of National is? group needs your valuable input, so come and forked out $6 Technical Consultants: Independent Media Services [Tel/Fax: (09) 524-6162] Bolger and his lineup don’t have too much along please! We don’t want it to be N; ticket) and bough too offer. Perhaps we should all stay at tional Week of Inaction in Auckland. Marketing Manager: Joe Babich [Tel: (09) 390-789 Ext 841 Fax: (09) 303-2236] dress I would n home and not vote — why chose the op­ If you are having trouble paying the se­ expected it... if Printers: Rodney and Waitemata Times Ltd pressor? cond instalment — please come and see wanted to go Typesetting: Teresa Platt Did you know the AUSA is supposed us. (Andrew Sporle Welfare Officer or dancing I’d go to Distribution Manager: Martin Gill to be your union (Auckland Uni Students Roger Pym EVP). dy barn,” she sail General Assistance: Lachie, Ross, Shane and What's-her-name I mean). We are supposed to be your ad­ NZUSA are gathering info on hardship The band itsell Security and General Abuse: Todd vocates. Yet we hear ‘unofficially’ of hor­ — case studies for legal purposes. We with a magician wl Campaign Manager: Win Peters ror stories long after they happened. know lots of you out there are struggling lowed was booed Groupie: Tara Please, we are here for you — any — please come and tell us. We need you stage and later i problems come and share with us and we to help save education. with tape recorder will assist you. Don’t just sit there and be Educaton is a community resource not Nehua said s screwed by a draconian a commodity. CONTENTS system/bureaucracy — call it what you Yours in the service of students will — do something. The Executive Roger Pym Cover: Courtesy of Time Magazine ...... 1 Editorial and Presidential C o lu m n s ...... 2 Feature: Grad B alls-U p...... 3 Feature: Orientation R e v is ite d ...... 4 DAVE'S BIG HOLIDAY S p o rts...... 5 World N e w s ...... 6 The Continuing Saga of Dave and his European adventures Caption Contest Winner ...... 6 ATISA President Dave Rhodes was chase New Zealand Telecom. Publick E y e ...... 7 again unable to communicate his report Meanwhile, despite his enjoying the Feature: Recycling on C a m p u s...... 8 to Craccum this week. We suspect that luxurious lifestyle of the international Feature: Asian Im m igrants...... 9 last week’s ‘genuine’ effort was a forgery finance set, Dave’s starving wife and chil­ M u s ic ...... 10 written by his mum in an attempt to im­ dren have been taken into welfare and are T e le v is io n ...... 11 prove her son’s tainted public image. receiving moral support from the Salva­ L e t t e r s ...... 14 Clive Biddle, Craccum’s Italian cor­ tion Army Flying Squad. Particularly dis­ respondent, reports that Dave is in fact N o tic e s ...... 15 turbing is the rumour that Dave has still in the country. After reports of a New purchased an entire convent of Carmelite Zealander hobnobbing in all the best piz­ nuns for his own personal intercession. za restaurants with high-powered Italian These startling revelations show just financiers, Biddle’s investigations led him how devious the modern student presi­ DISCLAIMER to the Milan area. dent can be. How can such people gain Exhaustive enquiries drew Biddle to the the respect, and vote, of their fellows? Craccum is published by the Auckland University Students' Association Incor­ conclusion that the mystery Kiwi was How could the ATISA Council ignore his porated, but ATISA have been very nice and sort of indicated that they'll go to none other than Dave Rhodes, and that outrageous behaviour? When will the sod prison for us if it's the tech stuff at fault, which we think is very good of them, his sudden affluence was due to his liber­ write his damn column and save us from don't you? By the way, the views expressed in Craccum do not necessarily al use of the ATISA American Express having to make up this garbage at the last represent those of the Auckland University Students' Association, the editors, card. minute every week? or anybody, so there! Furthermore, Biddle suggests that Dave These and other questions will remain has been spending up large with ATISA unanswered so long as ATISA remains an funds misappropriated from the catering aloof dictatorship of corporate animals, budget. However, as his suggestions could unanswerable to students and reviled by DEADLINES be deemed somewhat defamatory, we society. won’t print them. But we can say that sus­ There, that should fill up the required picions have been raised that Dave ap­ space. The good thing about being a type­ Articles Midday Tuesdays pears to have successfully negotiated for setter is that you can get the lines to fin­ Letters, Notices Midday Wednesdays ATISA, through a tangled web of Swiss ish off evenly and produce a neat and tidy and Belgian holding companies, to pur­ end to every page...... Just a wee bit mor e Oops, damn! 2 — Craccum, 18 June 1990 GRAD BALL BLOWOUT Students' June as a ! staff. The ball, described by were fully justified in their “If it then breaks even doesn’t keep track of spared to AUSA vice president Ric­ complaints. then that’s $2000 less than things and there will be offers are hard Cornes as “absolute­ “I think the grad ball is expected, which isn’t large bills popping up that will ly dreadful” featured a something students should in the scale of things. If it make it worse.” o f award Country and Western be able to look forward to gets down to say $5000 band. Despite paying $65 ... a big and important loss that’s a $7000 differ­ Optimistic each for tickets, students celebration of their being ence which is starting to McDougall says the the Asso- found the bar tab ran out capped and our celebra­ AUSA social activities hurt a bit.” executive budget was un­ nter that. at about 10pm. tion should have been the duly optomistic. AUSA But t-he Northern Cleri­ best that we could give. Position unknown “The budget that was cal Workers Union claims I’m very disappointed that officer Dia Uluiviti has McDougall said not all submitted to executvie I Uluiviti was unfairly the membership never got the bills for the graduation believe projected a surplus dismissed and she is being that this time around. I been sacked over the had been received, but he of about $50000. The ac­ used as a scapegoat for will certainly make sure hoped to have them all by tual expectation that had h blame over AUSA’s finan­ that it doesn’t happen this week. It was not been included in the full cial mess. The union and again.” graduation ball which known what the final fin­ budget for AUSA was l we can’t if you the association meet this ancial position would be. only a $2000 surplus.” 3u do pay your Thursday (June 21) to dis­ Food substandard “From what the SAO McDougall said the cuss the sacking. Nehua said there were was expected to bring has stated I’m hopeful that band was inappropriate iew are words AUSA secretary Deir- also complaints about the there’s a chance that it will but some people were m time to time, dre Nehua said AUSA had bar and the food, which in a $5000 profit but come close to breaking enjoying themselves. ctures more hu- been flooded with comp­ students said was not up to even,” he said. “I didn’t enjoy it , powersharing, laints over the May 5 ball standard. The budget predicted personally, but I didn’t en­ counter and fel- and she received 15 phone AUSA paid $29 per per­ is now expected to 900 ball tickets would be joy a jazz band the year oe that we keep calls a day for the three son to the Hyatt Kingsgate sold, but the take was 300 before and I must say that i of structures, weeks following the ball. for catering. The Hyatt tickets short. the dance floor was anic body’s life She was last week still denies there was anything lose money. “If everything else had packed with people who ominate. getting angry phone calls wrong with the food, say­ stayed the same, if we were enjoying them­ ues. Thanks to and letters. ing it was the best it could were catering for 900 peo­ selves. It’s certainly not n the ‘arm and provide. ple, then obviously we’d true to say it was uni­ eat and looked Band booed off Nehua would not dis­ Max Chappie reports be facing a large loss. But versally disliked but I The Education Nehua says students cuss the SAO’s dismissal what we’ve been told is don’t think it’s what stu­ s regularly each were disappointed with the with Craccum. But she that the numbers to be ca­ dents wanted or expected.” 138 (behind TV choice of hillbilly band said Uluiviti, who also tered for were dropped Northern Clerical Wor­ g for National The Waltons as the main organised last year’s from 900 to 750. That kers Union industrial -23) and activi- ball entertainers. graduation ball, appeared should have saved a fair organiser Phyllis Comer- lstalment. The “I think if I had gone to have everything ar­ whack.” ford told Craccum that input, so come and forked out $65 (for a ranged satisfactorily prior ant it to be Na- ticket) and bought a ball to the ball. morning, when the first “People expect to have in Auckland, dress I would not have “We discussed it at an complaint came through. Acid House and recorded e paying these- expected it... if I had exec meeting arrange­ stuff but bands are not e come and see wanted to go country ments for the ball with the Music irrelevant relevant to youth culture.” fare Officer or dancing I’d go to a bloo­ SAO and it was indicated AUSA vice president AUSA treasurer Wayne dy barn,” she said. to us that everything was Richard Cornes also re­ McDougall said the gradu­ lfo on hardship The band itself, along fine and we anticipated fused to discuss negotia­ ation ball usually made purposes. We with a magician which fol­ that because she had ar­ tions with the union, but money and the executive e are struggling lowed was booed off the ranged a ball.” said the ball was thought it would bring in 5. We need you stage and later replaced Nehua found out about “hideous.” a $5000 profit. But he says with tape recorded music. the ball’s failure at 7.30am Cornes criticised the AUSA budget predicted a ity resource not ! Nehua said students the following Monday choice of music. $2000 profit.

:e o f students R o g e r Pym

adventu Dia Uluiviti com. Bar tab Uluiviti’s monetary com­ is enjoying pensation from AUSA e internatioL— McDougall says the bar was not sufficient. ig wife and chfl. tab was dropped from welfare and are $18000 to $12000. Not fair from the Salva- “Unfortunately, when She said her dismissal Particularlydis- that bar tab was fully used was unprocedural and not that Dave has up, Dia was unsuccessful able to be substantiated. If ;nt of Carmelite in getting them to open up Uluiviti was not doing her al intercession, the bar again. She did try job properly AUSA ions show just and I was very alarmed to should have told her what l student presi- hear that she even tried to she was doing wrong, how ieh people gain do that.” she could improve that f their fellows1 McDougall said nothing and that if she didn’t im­ )uncil ignore his concerning the financial prove her position might ben will the so state of the graduation ball be threatened. The associ­ tid save us ft had been put in to writing, ation should have given rbageatthelast which was contrary to her appropriate warnings requirements, and infor­ as well, said Comerford. ons will remain mation received had not Comerford said the fact ISA remains at been reliable. AUSA was losing money porate animals, “I’m hopeful that it may was not sufficient reason > and reviled by only lose a few thousand, to dismiss the SAO. She but always there are bills said it appeared the associ­ up the required coming in ... finances ar­ ation was trying to get it­ >ut being a type- en’t this particular SAO’s self off the hook by the lines to fin- area of expertise and it’s putting the blame on ; a neat andtidj quite likely that she someone else. st a wee bit m3

Craccum, 18 June 1990 — 3 ORIENTATION DEFICIT

BY MAX CHAPPLE The end-of-year AUSA deficit of at least $80,000 is being predict­ ed by the association's treasurer, who says orientation controller Roger Pym lied in an effort to get money for orientation events. I've seen | Treasurer Wayne Belt-tightening Liar time, b u t all McDougall says the orien­ McDougall said the exe­ McDougall said that Holmes sh o tation budget blowout at cutive was undertaking when budgets were being an educatec first thought to be $60,000 belt-tightening measures looked at it was decided 1 am of course is $80,000 and still rising. without causing too much some events would not go In an exclusive interview hurt, but has just allocat­ ahead without to that Profe communications with Craccum, McDougall ed $50,000 for club grants sponsorship. described the orientation despite finance committee “ Sponsorship didn’t University of fiasco as “the biggest stuff warnings the spending come in and we decided who was slaggin’ up” in the association’s would drive AUSA into these events would be can­ game of Netball history. debt. celled. Roger Pym said is, in my opinioi AUSA is only this year He said he disagreed “Yes, we’ve cancelled- sport played by blokesses.This gi clearing final payments on with the decision because them.” They went ahead ment made no se a $500,000-odd overdraft every individual and anyway and lost thou­ incurred in the mid 1980s. organisation had to live sands of dollars.” and to my mini suffering from t McDougall fears factors within its means. McDougall said a fixed which are pushing it into McDougall said if it had limit of $4000 was set on bral shutdown, Orientation Controller, Roger Pym reached the heigl debt this year will continue not been for the orienta­ Funkytown spending. in academic cir and force the association tion mess the association “I was rung up at work said he wanted to cancel Friend He denied telling Mc­ very interesting deeper into the red. would either not be in debt and told that we needed the dance. But Pym told Dougall the money from “But because he was on The fact that “We can sustain a mas­ or offering more services. more than $4000 for (pro­ him proceeds from 1000 Groundswell had arrived executive and a friend of rather scary. A sive loss for a year and just “I didn’t expect that we motional) sweatshirts and ticket sales, which is what and said he cancelled sev­ a number of people ... we’re on netball keep on going because it’s were going to be lied to by teeshirts. I said we weren’t the event needed to break people saw him as the only eral events which he knew just a big place and we can Roger Pym and also the planning to get them. (He even, had been banked. would have failed. bit sad to see t hope for orientation.” Ferns’ going do) absorb that sort of person organising the said) ‘We’ve already “I said yes, we’ll go McDougall last week He said the only thing sheilas from a< loss,”he said. “But if you funkytown (dance).” bought them, we’ve got to ahead. I should not have circulated a memorandum that could have been done pond. It was go have that sort of loss for The dance, a joint pro­ pay for them.’” relied on him, he was lying was to get rid of Pym ear­ to AUSA staff and execu­ three or four years, or ject between AUSA and to me.” tive members outlining the them bounce bat lier on. But the situation the poms thougl even two years, you’re Kosta Psaras, lost $40,000 Tickets McDougall said Pym reasons for the associa­ was made difficult because Well, the fir; really in trouble.” alone. At this stage McDougall was in turn being lied to by of the way Pym was in­ tion’s financial position. Psaras who said the tick­ In it he said Pym was test will have pe forming people. to a draw by the ets were at outlets and just “Obviously in the future “not up to the job” of hadn’t been banked. orientation controller and read this, and w we just can’t trust people,” bly hardly be a n All this proved comple­ McDougall said. “As far he failed to meet his tely untrue, says Mc­ organisational obligations. the most arden as what can be done in the follower’s mind, Dougall. future, that’s quite simple. that the game ha AUSA was also pro­ Maidment We should stick to the badly affected by mised funding for orien­ rules that we’ve already McDougall told Crac­ tation by Groundswell put a bit of a d« got in place for running cum a major pressure on it (joke from tl Brokers. McDougall said orientation. If they had the AUSA budget was the SPECIAL OFFER he told Pym the assoc­ been followed then there Maidment Theatre, to iation shouldn’t rely on would not have been a which the association will them and wanted the mon­ problem. this year pay $30,000 for ey up front. Pym told him salaries and $20,000 to Tl< the association had the cover its operational costs. money, which was also He said the aim was for 10% OFF untrue. the Maidment to break even. WHY CHH all book purchases at the Book Corner Not done “There is no way they’ LOVE FOC “Basically Roger had re going to do that. This made out his plan (and) year I expect they’ll run at Basically, ther — on presentation of this advert didn’t care what it cost and a loss of about $20,000, reasons why ch went ahead with every­ which we have to pick up footy. These fin and your student ID card. thing regardless... his esti­ as well. based on the expi mates on sponsorhip “Judging by the student yours truly and income were way out of usage of that I really ques­ the likes of dumb line.” Wayne McDougall tion whether we’re getting sample material. McDougall said Pym’s value for money for that." Firstly they appointment as orienta­ “But I can’t think of any strong manly an tion controller went way of seeing that those Engineers man when he © against an executive rules are going to be fol­ He said the payment to the paddock cc ĒBOOK procedure. lowed in every case be­ the Engineering society mud, blood and “Executives looking at cause executive can always was also a hindrance. Secondly they orientations in the past override them.” “If they were a club they footy displays m CORNER have said that as well as Pym denied lying to would be getting say primitive best - having an orientation con­ McDougall. He told Crac­ $5000. They voted them­ handsome and ui troller you’ve got to have cum Kosta told him 1200 selves $30 per student so mising. someone who’s appointed, tickets had been sold but they’re getting in the ord­ Thirdly when a who’s solely looking after he did not tell McDougall er of $35,000 (as well as footy practice i the finances. Roger had the money had been being able to use all stu­ sneak into his r< someone like that, or says banked. dent services).” wash his clothes he did, but that person de­ McDougall also said steak’n’chips for Up the escalator cided to pull out. Groundswell inflation would add about his arrival horn* Cnr Queen & Victoria Streets “So part of the problem Pym said he did ask for $70,000 to the associa­ few beers at the Auckland was that he should never more money because the tion’s costs and the usual ■ Fourthly, they have been appointed. His spending limit has been ex­ increase in student num­ social interaction Ph: (09) 790-651 appointment was a breach ceeded and said he ap­ bers had not happened so with shacking u of requirements that exe­ proved a cheque for income was stagnant. footy player. 1 cutive set down to ensure teeshirts. “I had to ap­ AUSA’s income from allowed (believi that orientation doesn’t prove every cheque,” he fees had not increased come and pick ______J cock up.” said. since 1985, he said. blokes whenthe 1 on a Saturday 4 — Craccum, 18 June 1990 COMMENTS

I've seen people say and do some pretty stupid things in my time, but all were surpassed the other night. This joker on the Holmes show was a real turkey. And not surprisingly he was an educated Australian. o e o f THe cHiNEse. ene^ssy m o t u m m a t o amtesB .smd&jt s , I am of course referring Coach). The interruptions Argie Bargies go down to w e T R 6A T /SLL OF T H £ CHXUSS& VEOPlB LXKB 7HW/ to that Professor of from rain on the first day Cameroon. Those hot­ communications from the were particularly distress­ heads from South Ameri­ University of Canberra ing, and probably contri­ ca usually have all of the who was slaggin’ off at the buted to the dismissal of luck, but this time they game of Netball. Netball Johnny Wright. The rain were undone. In fact they is, in my opinion, a great stopped our fellas from had so much luck in the sport played by real Kiwi getting a big innings up last world cup, if Mara- blokesses.This guy’s argu­ and running. As Sarah of donna had fallen back in ment made no sense at all, Whitaker PI would say a bucket of shit, he’d have and to my mind he was “You shouldn’t start the come up smelling of roses. suffering from total cere­ job if you can’t finish it.” Anyhow, Soccer is not bral shutdown. How he Well, the Scots have really a real blokes sport, reached the heights he has maintained an unbeaten so we won’t go into that in academic circles is a d telling Me- record in New Zealand, so kick and kiss stuff for too very interesting question. far, but will probably have long. ; money from 11 had arrived The fact that he has is been beaten by the All By gee, Manly must be rather scary. And while cancelled sev- Blacks by the time this hits pleased with the perfor­ vhich he knew we’re on netball, it was a the presses. They haven’t mance of Young Matt failed, bit sad to see the ‘Silver looked too convincing to Ridge. He’s playing like Ferns’ going down to the date, and I’d imagine Ian he’s been doing it all his ill last week sheilas from across the MacGeeghan would be life, and showing those memorandum aff and execu- pond. It was good to see feeling like a dog shitting Aussies a thing or two. them bounce back to beat razor blades in the days Anyway, those were the s outlining the ' the associa- the poms though. preceeding the first test. big events as I saw them Well, the first cricket The Occ’ers look to have last week. Next week I cial position. test will have petered out the better of the Frogs in have a (rather late) look at ;aid Pym was "Gee, Grandpa. Didn't they know about their test series as well. It i the job” of to a draw by the time you the first footie test, as I low-level radiation in your day?'' controller and read this, and will proba­ could just about be the can’t do it in this column to meet his bly hardly be a memory in end for the head snail because I ’m not quite psy­ muncher, Jacques Foroux iai obligations. the most ardent cricket chic. Until then, remem­ follower’s mind. The fact All of the World’s ber this was not just one that the game has been so round balling bastards man’s view, but the view t badly affected by rain, has have gathered in Italy for of the Supercoach. ill told Crac- put a bit of a damper on their big get together. I Dr pressure on it (joke from the Super- was pleased to see those Dudget was the Theatre, to ssociation will ly $30,000 for d $20,000 to TIGHT HEAD TIM SWAP ^rational costs, STUDENT WORK ABROAD PROGRAMME he aim was for tells it like it is lent to break WHY CHICKS i no way they’ LOVE FOOTY Please note that really all Kiwi has in his Y fronts do that. This the guys want is someone but only smaller. :t they’ll run at Basically, there are five to give them a lift home The last game of Origin .bout $20,000, reasons why chicks love but they are too sensitive Football as called by Rex ave to pick up footy. These findings are to say anything in case ‘Statebank Panasonic Air based on the experience of they offend. New Zealand Replay’ APPLICATIONS MUST BE IN BY by the student yours truly and exclude Finally the last and pro­ M ossop was a bit it I really ques- the likes of dumb chicks as bably most important rea­ disappointing — The Ma- ;r we’re getting sample material. son why they like footy is rones won. I’m not sure oney for that." Firstly they love the because at the end of the what it is that Wally does 29 JUNE strong manly aroma of a night they can get their by he seems to bring out (1990 OF COURSE) man when he comes off hands on his body. To the best in the Banana he payment to the paddock covered in bandage his wounds and Benders but I still think eering society mud, blood and sweat. massage his body is just an he’s a woofter. That man hindrance, Secondly they believe excuse to get their hands Lazarus had a great game vere a club they footy displays man at his on his 18” neck, 46” chest as did ‘Monster’ McGaw DON’T MISS OUT! getting say primitive best — rugged, and .... and I’d have either of them :y voted them- handsome and uncompro­ So really when it comes in my team if it ever came per student so mising. down to it, the reason why down to a bit of biffo. ing in the ord- Thirdly when a man’s at chicks love footy, is for )00 (as well as footy practice they can selfish reasons only. It’s APPLICATIONS AT STUDENT TRAVEL OFFICES to use all stu- sneak into his room and not as if we need you — es).” wash his clothes and cook it’s our contribution to ALL APPLICATIONS MUST BE POSTED TO steak’n’chips for him on STUDENT TRAVEL SERVICES, P.O. BOX 4156, ;all also said Women’s Lib. Good on ya AUCKLAND - ATTENTION SWAP CO-ORDINATOR. ould add about his arrival home after a guys. ) the associa- few beers at the club. On a more informative i and the usual Fourthly, they like the note, I’ll take some of the student num- social interaction that goes slanderous comments Dt happened so with shacking up with a about the kilt wearers l / [ TRAVEL s stagnant, footy player. They are back having seen them income from allowed (believe it) to play on Tuesday against not increased come and pick up the Southland. I think they’ve , he said. blokes whenthe bar shuts probably got the same on a Saturday night. thing under their kilts as a TT

Craccum, 18 June 1990 — 5 Have you had a WEASEL'S LAGER today? Or yesterday? WORLD NEWS PETERS World News in published weekly by Maxwell Murdoch & Co, Fleet St, London CR API. Everything we print is absolutely true. Honest! See page 17 for details Keith W aterho said, “I never dri I’m working, alt do work w hile I’i SHOCK DEFEAT D ing.” M a n y s daimed politicos Fenella Townshend Loses to ‘The Body’ establishment co bably make sim il Career student and amateur steam-roller driver Mark ment in that th< Townshend suffered another blow to his political career think while they’re Snares when he lost the presidency of the Engineering Society but often talk whi to EHe ‘the body’ McPherson. NZPA-Roote sleeping. T his ma any way tow ards A special meeting of the had expected no opposi­ ing the apparent society to elect officers ex­ tion, was stunned by his of a number of Top Editor pressed disappointment in shock defeat and has gone pressure groups, the poor range of candi­ into seclusion. give some insight dates. Dr Nicolai, a re­ The political career of driving force beh Bathfield and Roach to tie the knot search student of this professional student impressive grasp international repute, sug­ herent nonsense, In a Craccum/World has been frought with broke down and sobbed. gested that Elle would be they engulf them news exclusive, close Getting hold of the several such unforseen set­ a better president, with her backs, but no doubt he douds of irratior friends of the Auckland newly-weds proved more international business con­ will come back at some by some grave couple told us that they of a problem however. nections and pleasant dis­ miscalculation m had expected the news for time in the not too distant Various contacts finally position being of greater obtain a degree < some time. Apparently the future to claim the posi­ tracked Mark down at an value than Mr Town- their imposture el two had been dating for tions of power after which inner city penthouse shend’s attributes of liquor the E-team will d some time but had belonging to a ‘Dr Shisky.’ he lusts. Here at Craccum consuming and GST we look forward to the not care, but w ill managed to keep it quiet Obviously overjoyed he knowledge. changes Elle will bring to to relax am idst in from the press until today. muttered about rice wine, A groundswell of sup­ the Engineering Society. company in plea: Speaking on the phone belched heartily and pas­ port for Dr Nicolai’s Hopefully she will im­ roundings and from England, we talked sed out. Mark and Fenella in a rare public appearance sound reasoning and elo­ prove its somewhat uncul­ thoughtfully in n to Phillip Scholfield, Ra­ The lady in question quent rhetoric carried the tured and macho image divine beverages. dio One DJ, TV presenter proved easier to find at a We at the newspaper day for Ms McPherson and bring it into the 1990s. It is on these o and Fenella’s alleged for­ North Shore villa, al­ would like to wish the cou­ and Mr Townshend was that one might mer lover. “Really we were though all we could quote ple good luck ... who are left with no hope of distractedly at just good friends and I am was a ‘no comment’ fol­ Thatcher we joking? How on earth victory. Price of Beer Macpherson billb happy for her and wish her lowed by a swift upper cut does that long-haired laya­ “We want Elle,” stated consider the im pli luck,” he said, obviously and a drop kick to the net­ bout pull sweet little Fen? is a Man Dr Nicolai. “Get stuffed, to be Slashed lei between worn overcome with joy, he her regions. What a bastard. Claims Gynaecologist Mark. You’re a loser.” The Beer Associates Re­ gerie and real e Such oratory left the gional Pricing Headquar­ that lo c a tio n Harley St gynaecologist, meeting stunned. ters today announced that Giles Splectrum, today Unfortunately, Ms the price of tap beer would denied that British Prime McPherson was unavaila­ be reduced in an effort to Minister, Margaret That­ ble for comment yester­ reduce the amount of cans cher, was a man. When day, but no doubt she will and bottles ending up as FARR-OUT! confronted with a tape put her glamorous model­ litter. Spokesperson Joe This week's p It’s confirmed. Kiwi to be £5,275,100.50. Clifton Hamilton-Hamil- recording of his late night ling career on hold to dis­ Koots said that they had you could wir yacht-designing ace Bruce Farr will join fellow ton-Smythe under whose tavern conversation with charge her duties received a number of com­ 1st Prize: A b Far/ has sold out! Kiwi Ron Holland in the tenure Wigan has plunged this reporter, he confessed responsibly. plaints from landlords 2nd Prize: As centres for his first game to the bottom of the First all. While it is true that she about the enormous At a London press con­ in the Wigan colours Division, defended his “What I said was that is not an engineering stu­ quantities of empties lying ference today, Cecil against Hull on Saturday. policies. Thatcher had balls! I was dent, and hence was not around the back of their Sturges, Chairman of the This new signing brings “True, we’ve lost the speaking as a Conserva­ eligible to stand for office, premises. In at least one Wigan Rugby League to three the number of top League Cup. We’ve lost tive, not a gynaecologist.” special dispensation was case a tenant who was Football Club, confirmed international yacht design­ the Challenge Cup. But Splectrum further de­ obtained from the meeting thought to have left while that Farr (42) will be join­ ers in the Wigan fold. we’re looking good for the nied that Dennis Thatcher to allow her to run for the still owing three weeks rent ing Wigan for an un­ Controversial manager- Admiral’s, Kenwood and was a man. “I deny every­ position. was in fact trapped under disclosed sum rumoured coach Commodore Sir America’s Cup.” thing,” said Mr Splectrum. Mr Townshend, who several dozen crates of empties which appeared to have fallen on him after a particularly heavy party. None of his flatmates sus­ WORLD NEWS CAPTION WINNERS pected anything was wrong as he often ‘whizzed Congratulations off for a quiet bonk and didn’t come back for a to the unnamed, week or two.” LISTEN, I’VE RAISED TAX, LIFTED VP “This is just the sort of STUDENT'S FEES, PUSHED DOWN THE unaddressed, unfortunate incident we ECONOMY LIFTED THE UNEMPLOYMENT are trying to prevent,” said LEVEL ^THROWN STATE ASSETS AWAY. unphone- Mr Koots. “If our heaviest THIS IS ONLY A SMALL 8 0 A T ! drinkers keep killing numbered themselves off we start THAT LAST SMOKE M S A losing quite a bit of yOU FAT 5LOB, YOU COl/EDMT NICKED ONE! person w ho money.” This is why MOW THAI BOAT IF S H IT !! submitted this BARPH are reducing the WANTED TO! price of tap beer. This way caption. people will spend more time and money in the pub Whoever you where they are less likely to kill themselves and at are, you also the same time being too pissed or broke to be able w on second to buy the dangerous take- place with your -home bottles and cans. Of course they will still be other entry. able to do this but hope­ fully the accident rate will drop o ff’.

6 — Craccum, 18 June 1990 u ERS kts 7 for details PUB-LICK EYE Keith Waterhouse once important. In Elle’s case, to watch the television, but said, “I never drink while the prime location would with that came the rela­ The E-Team Rating I’m working, although I be a crumpled heap on my xed, convivial atmosphere do work w hile Pm drink­ bedroom floor, but that one usually encoun­ AT II ing.” Many self-pro- unfortunately I was head­ ters in these situations. A daimed politicos in this ed for the Dog and Trum­ small contingent on holi­ he Body’ establishment co u ld p ro ­ pet and there was little day from Bristol lent bably make similar state­ chance of seeing her there. against a partition and Few chairs ler driver Marl ment in that they never Upon entering the corn­ chanted “referee’s a political career think while they’re talking, er bar, one is immediately wanker” at every available peering Society but often talk w hile they’re reassured of the compe­ opportunity. They even ) Fast and Friendly sleeping. T his m ay n o t go tence of the staff in that looked ready to break into O / V O / V v £PA-Rooter any way towards explain­ they remember to obtain a spontaneous violence, ad­ ed no opposi- ing the apparent ub iq u ity decoder before tuning the ding a touch of authentic­ stunned by his of a number of resident TV to SKY. Perhaps they ity to the evening. Free water at and has gone pressure groups, but d oes stole it from the Birdcage. Bar service was fast, n o ion. give some insight as to the The next thing that be­ even with just one person tical career of driving force behind their comes apparent is that behind the bar and it was isional student impressive grasp o f in c o ­ there are not many people noted on one occasion that the SKY subscription is ed rather severely. There The behaviourally de­ frought with herent nonsense. W hether in the bar. In fact, there the barman couldn’t be­ taken into account, they was also an uncomfortable menting effect of soccer i unforseen set- they engulf themselves in was ony half as many be­ lieve the price either. A become slightly better than lack of things to sit on. An was becoming obvious as no doubt he clouds of irrationality, or fore our small group arri­ notable special in the corn­ average. If you also con­ attempt has been made to the Bristol contingent set back at some by some grave error of ved. By seven o’clock the er bar was a pie and a pint sider the tangible benefit hide the walls with large fire to a scale model of a not too distant miscalculation m an age to situation had changed for four dollars. The pies of not paying for a framed photos of nation­ housing estate constructed :laim the posi- obtain a degree and take somewhat. The current were of very high quality decoder then prices are a al sports teams, but these from meticulously defaced ver after which their imposture elsewhere, attraction for patrons is and it was hoped to in­ snip. contrast badly with the coasters. ere at Craccum the E-team will doubtless the nightly SKY broadcast clude one with this article Background noise (be­ surroundings. Just as the evening was arward to the not care, but w ill con tin u e of the World Cup Soccer, but unfortunately they fore the Soccer started) The real visual action warming up, the E-team ie will bring to to relax amidst interesting although there were those don’t photocopy well. The was courtesy of a local can be found through any having performed its du­ :ering Society, company in pleasant sur­ amongst us that conside­ texture, not to mention the university radio station, of the windows. One can ties for the week, saun­ she will in. roundings and p a rta k e red the FI racing to be far taste, gets lost somewhere interspersed with the watch K’Road meet New­ tered out the door. mewhat uncul- thoughtfully in n u m erou s more attractive. Even in the process, and they ‘Stones’ on tape. Both ton, Ponsonby and Great Fleeting thought was given macho image divine beverages. more attractive still would tend to foul the automat­ were fed through a very North Roads and survive. to investigating the Dog into the 1990s. It is on these occasions have been a Bendon ic page feed. Incidentally, good sound system and The traffic is good enter­ and Trumpet restaurant, that one might glance commercial on continuous there is a good range of volume was set at a sensi­ tainment on its own and but a pressing engagement distractedly at an E lle loop, but the patrons had brews on tap, backed up ble level. The decor felt there might be the chance with an estate agent would o f Beer Macpherson billboard and come to see the Soccer. by a good selection of spi­ somewhat bland, but only to witness a really bad ac­ surely prove more re­ consider the implicit paral­ The clientele was typical of rits and liquers. Prices can because the colour scheme cident, which would have warding. Slashed lel between women’s lin­ what one might expect of be described as average, is a throwback to late been only slightly more ex­ Associates Re- gerie and real estate — people who have gone to and subsequently were, 1987, and like everything citing than what was hap­ ing Headquar- that location is very the bar almost exclusively but if the money saved on remotely trendy, has dat­ pening at the next table. THE E-TEAM mnounced that tap beer would in an effort to THE GREAT WORLD NEWS CAPTION COMPETITION amount of cans ; ending up as kesperson Joe This week's photograph was taken at last Wednesday's SRC meeting. Deliver your captions to C ra ccu m before Wednesday noon and that they had you could win one of these fantastic prizes: umber of com- 1st Prize: A blind date with either Piglet or Wendy at the Shadows table of your choice. ?m landlords 2nd Prize: As above except you have to buy the munchies as well as the drinks. e enormous f empties lying back of their n at least one ant who was have left while iiree weeks rent WORRIED ABOUT DENTISTRY? trapped under zen crates of NEED A DENTIST? ch appeared to on him after a heavy party, WE CAN HELP flatmates sus- lything waj Ask for special student rate! often ‘whizzed uiet bonk and e back for a o.” ust the sort of ; incident we T.A. Kool BDS > prevent,” said 391-963 If our heaviest keep killing off we start te a bit of This is why TENTH FLOOR e reducing the SOUTHERN CROSS BUILDING beer. This way spend more (Just across from the car park) >ney in the pub VICTORIA STREET are less likely lselves and at CITY me being too oke to be able angerous take- les and cans, ley will still be Present this coupon at your next visit :his but hope- ident rate will

Craccum, 18 June 1990 — 7 < 4

RECYCLING ON CAMPUS Body strength ness is not new — dawn of time hui vival depended on Toxic waste, acid rain, vanishing resources, water ity to defend strength was our pollution, the greenhouse effect, ozone depletion... sence. The Greeks and so the list goes on. mind when thinki aesthetic qualities cletone and the t It is 1990 and the Earth’s ability to get away useful energy and raw materials — the human body a warrant of fitness each year in on the in the case of an aluminium can it is the Today we try decline — so what’s a poor insignificant equivalent of throwing away the same can bine strength witl varsity student to do in the face of these half filled with petrol. and fefeling good, massive global ailments? Feeling utterly be a small countr powerless, one’s first notion might be to 2. Reduction of Pollution have produced revert to the foetal position and cower in continue to prodi Going hand in hand with energy and the nearest corner. of the best sports BUT there is a better answer, a way in resource savings is recycling’s ability to women in the w< which we can be friendlier to our planet reduce pollution. If the energy required have enthusiasm; in our everyday lives with minimal effort. for manufacture is decreased, then the mitment and a v It isn’t complicated or new, it involves no pollution associated with manufacture experienced trai costly technology. It is an effective me­ will decrease. This means reductions in air help achieve our ans of saving energy, reducing pollution pollution, mining wastes, water pollution Even the hum and limiting waste. It makes sense and and even reductions in the actual use of sporting of us ca feels good. It is recycling. water (of particular relevance to Auck­ our health and w< land at present). To this end Camp These reductions can be very signifi­ Why Recycle? macy has put tog cant, eg. producing aluminium products evening for you from recycled material is 97% cleaner and perhaps 1. Energy and resource savings. with respect to water pollution than pro­ something. When a product is produced from raw ducing from new material, while manu­ We have calle< materials, energy is required. However, facturing paper from recycled fibres and Hers” and we when recycled materials are used for its produces 74% less air pollution. very different as production, this energy requirement can Recycling is one way industries can. looking after yo be cut by 50-90% (around 64% in the case clean up their acts. both inside and o of paper). land’s solid waste has been increasing by ating in the Planing/Architecture build­ include: Similarly, the use of recycled materials 3. Reduced pressure on landfill space 10% per year and this trend is predicted ing. Yellow plastic bins clearly labelled allows the same production needs to be to continue — so landfill space becomes “Paper only!” are located throughout the Horley’s He met with a lesser consumption of raw By limiting the volume of waste being rarer. Currently Auckland has about 2 building and paper can be deposited into specialists in spo materials. For example, the equivalent of sent to landfills, recycling can also pro­ years in which to find a new landfill site any of these. | tion. To win in 17 trees can be saved by the recycling of vide an answer to the growing waste dis­ — time is not on our side. These bins are then emptied into a competitive envi one tonne of paper. posal crisis. As the amount of waste we Siting landfills is not an easy task — af­ “Paperbank” supplied by the paper recy- j you have to be Throwing away recyclables is throwing produce continues to increase — Auck- ter all who wants a tip in their backyard? cling company “Paper Reclaim.” This is about your spor So where will we put all our waste in the located in the courtyard outside the Ar­ means diet, train future? The only long term answer is to chitecture workshops (see map) and paper tude and lifestyle reduce the amounts of waste we landfill can be emptied into here anytime. Big lots Winning is and recycling is one way of doing just of paper should go straight into here. strength, skill, this. There is also a Paperbank located out­ , speed and psy Recycling takes valuable products out side the Biological Sciences building. of the trash can and sends them back into Virtually any type of paper is fine for circulation. placing in the paperbank including the Newmans following: Just Recycling? newspapers computer paper Recycling is one way of achieving the laser printed paper three benefits mentioned above — there magazines and books The Asian i cardboard 3 0 are better ways still. tion sector's are % farer (the odd staple or paperclip is no The best step to take is to simply reduce the amount you use. problem). prompted ten Reuse is the second best option eg, use But please: get overseas both sides of paper by using the backs for No carbon paper rough notes or drafting essays. No plastic coated cardboard and pay well, Recycling is the last of he so-called No plastic windowed envelopes newly appoir to students ‘3-R’s.’ It uses the most energy, and causes No food contamination (eg. no lunch the most pollution of the three but is still wrappers) a hell of a lot better than just chucking Keep the paper flat — we can fit more in j Jan Cullen sit things out into the rubbish. this way. desk answering oi Travel with Newmans Coach Lines, on any of our services, No other types of rubbish. 35 enquiries she he and you will receive a 30% discount off the regular fare. the week from all What you can do on Campus From here the paper goes to Paper the world. The Reclaim’s Penrose factory. Most of it will was a phone ca QUAY STREET There are now ways by which you, yes end up as low grade paper products such Shanghai in brok you ,can actually do something for the en­ as the corrugated layer in cardboard, egg fish; this o n e’s Coaches Depart Daily From vironment, and it takes stuff all effort. cartons and apple trays. from B e ijin g Downtown Shopping Auckland Downtown Terminal Both aluminium cans and paper can The success of this pilot scheme will be "where’s th e Centre Quay Street, Auckland City now be recycled here on campus and the assessed before the end of this year. It is butcher?” Tepid Baths CUSTOMS ST a p t following is a brief guide to how to go hoped that in the near future paper recy­ No, she’s not _£ZL about it. cling will become university policy and an illicit A sian dri * Special conditions apply. will be integrated into a waste manage­ cate or organising 1. Aluminium cans: ment scheme for the whole university. As killings. She’s ta There is a ‘Canbank’ located beneath we have seen the time is now as Auckland overseas students the steps outside the main cafe. Cans can runs perilously short of landfill space. ed in taking up cc be dropped in here anytime. So stop your cowering, uncurl from ATI - students Newmans that ball in the corner and step out and bring in up to 2. Paper do it — recycle. It makes sense and feels each per year in Coach Lines This is the big one. When you realise good. As overseas stu< that the University produces anywhere Watch the Environment Group notice- ficer, C ullen’s jc from 2-4 tonnes of rubbish every work board in the Quad for further develop­ handle queries fr Ph AKA 1QQ 7Q8 Or contact your I I I \y%7/ v v v ĒOO local travel agent. day and that around 80% of this is paper ments and come to meetings (1pm, eign students ai you will see what we are getting at. Monday’s B10). them through the < * A0842 AU Since the beginning of the year a pilot For further information call Phil process. paper recycling scheme has been oper­ Knightbridge, 696-993. With a secretar

8 — Craccum, 18 June 1990 SPORTS & VITALITY r,h„a,„S rp pharmacy JS Body strength and fit­ Horley’s can help — as a Come along and have ness is not new — since the New Zealand company it your questions answered dawn of time human sur­ HIS & HERS has worked closely with (and try some of the pro­ vival depended on the abil­ NZ champions and poten­ ducts, too). ity to defend oneself: tial ones as well. strength was our very es­ Then there are the in­ sence. The Greeks come to Roche — a world lead­ evitable injuries we come mind when thinking of the er in the marketing and across in most sports. aesthetic qualities of mus­ production of vitamins, There will be a wealth of cle tone and the beauty of will also be there to answer practical and easy strap­ the human body. any queries you have on ping techniques to enable Today we try to com­ your vitamin intake. you to promote quick bine strength with looking In theory there is no healing and comfort and fefeling good. We may WHE&CHEESE reason why we can’t give Body Works will be be a small country but we our body all the nutrients there with their unique have produced and will O N we need from the food we range of products which continue to produce some TU N E 2 6 t h eat. give more pain relief, of the best sportsmen and T IM E : 5P M But in practice this may more support and more women in the world. We not happen for many rea­ rapid healing. Body have enthusiasm and com­ sons — either we don’t like Works has proven effec­ mitment and a wealth of AT: CAMPUS PHARMACY certain foods, skip meals, tive in the treatment of experienced trainers to snack on junk food, diet most soft tissue injuries by help achieve our goals. or stress our bodies, developing and retaining Even the humble non- WHYPTRY: BODYWORKS THERMAL SUPPORTS depleting their stores of heat which in turn in­ sporting of us care about health sustaining nu­ creases blood flow — our health and well-being. TASTE HONEYS SPORTS NUTRITION trients. hence more rapid healing. To this end Campus Phar­ The body needs correct macy has put together an watch: doogias m amounts of vitamins to Finally, the successful evening for you to enjoy function properly. If a wearing of fine fragrances and perhaps learn STRAPPING INJURIES vitamin is missing or its for Him and Her. something. levels are too low, the bio­ The secret of wearing a We have called it “His chemical reactions that de­ fragrance that will stay for and Hers” and we have five EXPERIENCE :R0CHI VITAMINS pend on it cannot happen. hours — a technique very different aspects of There is a lot we don’t called layering that uses looking after your body S M I l t YSL FRENCH FRAGRANCES know about the role of pulse parts and shows the both inside and out. They vitamins and minerals but importance of all-over use, litecture build- include: what we do know is that not only chest and shoul­ :learly labelled COST-- E R F f BUT CALI INTO some groups of people are ders for him or wrist and throughout the Horley’s H ealth - more likely to require ad­ neck for her. YSL will : deposited into specialists in sports nutri­ ditional vitamins and min­ show you just how to use tion. To win in today’s erals to supplement their and wear fine fragrances emptied into a competitive environment daily diet — pregnant and to your best advantage. the paper recy-j you have to be serious Y breast-feeding women, And whilst we may not all :claim.” This is! about your sport — this CAMPUS PHARMAC adolescents who ex­ look like Greek gods or outside the Ar- means diet, training, atti­ perience growth spurts, goddesses, come along for nap) and paper tude and lifestyle. FOU YOUR TICKET dieters, heavy drinkers, an evening and be treated nytime. Big lots Winning is about LOCATED EAST ARTSMHDM-7/1W smokers and women on like one. ;ht into here, strength, skill, stamina, WING OLD contraceptive pills to name nk located out- speed and psychic - but a few. :es building, aper is fine for ; including the Asian Students Taraetted by Tertiary Institutions

are quite expensive for ATI Language School’s The Asian immigrant flood and the educa­ overseas students but we course in English to speak­ have the situation where ers of other languages is a perclip is no tion sector's struggle for funding have they keep saying ‘It doesn’t favourite among overseas prompted tertiary institutions to actively tar­ matter, we can pay what­ students and Cullen says get overseas students, who want to learn ever you charge. We want National Certificate in to come.’ ” Business (NCB), engineer­ board and pay well. Max Chappie talks to the ATI's Government restrictions ing and graphic arts course nvelopes newly appointed overseas student officer. mean ATI has to meet lo­ also rate highly. i (eg. no lunch cal demand first; it’s only Cullen says the overseas when New Zealand enrol­ students seem to be coping can fit more in Jan Cullen sits at her ground and five years with ments close that foreign socially and with the help desk answering one of the the ATI administration students can be accepted. of course supervisors are )ish. 35 enquiries she has during support staff, she has ta­ But those who do come fitting in well. the week from all around ken over full-time the are classed as private full She says it is not known goes to Paper the world. The last one work which administra­ fee-paying students and how many private full fee­ . Most of it will was a phone call from tion staff used to do along pay much higher fees than paying and MERT stu­ ■ products such Shanghai in broken Eng­ with other duties. of students which toured other parts of the world. Kiwis — up to $14,000 per dents are on campus but cardboard, egg lish; this one’s a letter Her appointment is a the republic last year on “I think even though year for nursing and that it is being worked out from Beijing asking reflection of the increase educatonal trips. they do pay quite high physiotherapy. as part of the central reg­ scheme will be "where’s the nearest in overseas student en­ “Also because of the un­ money for the courses Cullen is now discussing ister of foreign students. ' this year. It is butcher?” quiries (35 a week now rest that China has had there are still a lot of with heads of departments ATI does not actively ure paper recy- No, she’s not running compared to five or ten last year I think a lot of courses that make it chea­ how many courses can promote itself overseas iity policy and an illicit Asian drug syndi­ earlier this year) and an them are looking for a per for them to come here take foreign students and yet, although New Zea­ waste manage- cate or organising contract across-the-board jump in change in lifestyle.” and study then it does say she is working on a central land Government outposts i university. As killings. She’s talking to immigraht numbers. Despite politicians’ to go to Britain.” register of overseas do keep lists of our tertiary >w as Auckland overseas students interest­ “We do have a lot of claims that New Zealand’s About half of the immi­ students. institutions. andfill space. ed in taking up courses at mail coming from China, education system is poor, grant students move to “In courses like Hotel But Cullen can foresee !, uncurl from ATI - students who can there are a lot of Asian Cullen says it has a good New Zealand permanent­ and Restaurant studies, the day when ATI will d step out and bring in up to $14,000 students enquiring,” says reputation overseas. ly, says Cullen and half where we turn hundreds of send people overseas to sense and feels each per year in fees. Cullen. “But we also have “In a lot of cases the come here to learn and our own students away, gather students. ; As overseas students of­ enquiries from Scotland, certificates and diplomas plan to leave when they overseas students are not “It’s something that is Group notice- ficer, Cullen’s job is to Ireland and quite a lot we teach here are certain­ graduate. But whatever likely to be accepted.” going to grow and perhaps irther develop- handle queries from for­ from Bangladesh at the ly very recognised by our their reasons for wanting Some students are the way it’s looked at, and eetings (1pm, eign students and help moment.” own industry and business an ATI education, they admitted under a Ministry the structure of courses them through the enrolling Cullen says some Chi­ areas and therefore it fol­ seem to be able to afford of External Relations and and so on, will change to ion call Phil process. nese people heard about lows that they would be a it. Trade (MERT) scholar­ cater for their specific With a secretarial back­ ATI’s courses from groups recognised qualification in “Some of our courses ship scheme. needs.”

Craccum, 18 June 1990 — 9 LES NEGRESSES VERTES Indian Music at the MLAH (Festival)

The band includes cir­ Little Theatre cus runaways, a clown, a The Yoga and Medita­ nightclub friend, an alge- tion Club present an even­ nian gypsy and a ing music at the little beachcomber among The situatic theatre on Saturday June others. highest ratine 30 at 7.30pm. The music is a many Dr Sulochana Moro will faceted combination of man, and no perform South Indian trumpet, acoustic guitars, than the Unit classical ragas on the vio­ bongos, piano, trombone, lin. Dr Moro has been piano accordian with ‘Hel- separate Ame playing South Indian nos’ vocals tying it to­ our screens, (Karnatic) music for 20 gether. (Dare I say it? - years. Although not a na­ he sounds like a French waste your ti tive instrument, the violin Joe Stummer). To help you has been adapted to play “MLAH” is very med­ have compiled thi Indian music by South In­ iterranean — but you’ll tive guide to the dian musicians. Holding have no trouble distin­ the top of the ground or guishing it from ‘Julio Ig- and worst — exai on the foot, they have lesias’.... the genre presentl ble. (Marks out < perfected a technique The lyrics are in French which produces a unique­ and the songs explore the­ Cheers (Tu, 2, 7, ly Indian sound from the mes you might expect The life and la instrument. from a band who spends The music of India much of their time in the the blue and whi mostly consists of long South of France. The patrons and staff < pieces called ragas. Each overall impression is thea­ ton bar. Its ensert raga is designed to musician to master and appreciate the subtle na­ trical but accessible. has by far the be characterisation a produce a particular mood often sounds strange to ture of the music. Once Les Negresses Vertes acter interaction o or feeling. With a complex the western ear. But with the player masters the bas­ have enjoyed immense I structure and rhythm the repeated exposure to this ic structure, the raga al­ popularity in Europe and com, most of it i raga is difficult for the music the listener begins to lows the player great scope reached number 4 in the sarcastic or salaci for improvisation. No ra­ independent chart and of humour and ga is ever repeated by the number 1 in the World with a healthy elc farce. A good ba player as most of it would Music Chart. In addition herently comic po: have been made up on the to their European dates, 95 BFM's Trutone ; spot. they have recently played and Cheer's s Sulochana will be successful gigs in London, comes in no sir Alternative Top Ten accompanied by Babu New York, Japan and Los from the fact it ca Chatterji on Tabla (Indian Angeles. this aspect of its without glorifying drum) and by Lester Silver Rumours are that they sumption of unh< on the Sitar. The program may be heading down un­ Last This also includes Bengali and der this year. I’ll definite­ quids, eg Week Week English devotional songs ly be at the gig if they do “Evening Mr Pete: 1 The Chills — Heavenly Pop Hit (NZ) by Joshua, a local singer. turn up. In the meantime For further informa­ ‘MLAH” is spending a lot 2 These Wilding Ways — I Can't Control Her (NZ) tion: Yoga and Meditation of time on my turntable, Club, ph 837-4321. Cath Townsend 3 The Fall — Popcorn Double Feature

4 The Warners — Satellite Surfing (NZ)

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10 Public Enemy — Fear Of A Black Planet CONVENIENT :«keyfromcs 3 LOCATIONS 1 year ago today the Number One Song was The Front Lawn — How Ya Doin' AUCKLAND — 295 Karangahape Rd, Ph 303-1741 95 BFM's Truetone Alternative Top Ten goes to air BIRKENHEAD - 255 Hinemoa St, Ph 480-1285 every Tuesday night between 9 and 10pm. Listeners ELLERSLIE - 101 MAIN Shopping Ctr, Ph 525-3294 can record their votes any time on Tuesday by ring­ (Opposite Ladies Mile) ing the DJ on 373-918. Unhindered by

10 — Craccum, 18 June 1990 d includes cir- TELEVISION WITH TRAVIS BRICKLE iys, a clown, a riend, an alge- 3sy and a ber among The situation comedy is the cheapest and highest rating form of television known to sic is a many >mbination of man, and no country makes more of them :oustic guitars, than the United States. No fewer than 25 oio, trombone, dian with ‘Hel- separate American sitcoms currently infest s tying it to- our screens. So which ones should you ire I say it? - like a French waste your time watching? ier). I ” is very med- To help you decide I room for a beer?” Norm: have compiled this defini­ “No but I’m willing to add — but you’ll on!” A big no thank you rouble distin- tive guide to the best — to TVNZ for editing out from ‘Julio lg- _ 1 worst — examples of the genre presently availa­ the pre-credits sketch each week (often the funniest s are in French ble. (Marks out of ten). part of the show) so they igs explore the- might expect Cheers (Tu, 2, 7.30) can stuff more commer­ The life and laughs of cials in. (9) id who spends ieir time in the the blue and white collar France. The patrons and staff of a Bos­ Night Court (Tu, 2, 8pm) ression is thea- ton bar. Its ensemble cast iccessible. ; by far the best comic A slapstick minded presses Vertes I characterisation and char­ show about an eccentric, acter interaction of any sit­ yed immense boyish judge who presides in Europe and com, most of it mining a over a Manhatten Night Court. Has thankfully lost imber 4 in the1 sarcastic or salacious vein its mawkish edge but is it chart and of humour and always still too stereotyped and in the World with a healthy element of repetitive for my taste. rt. In addition farce. A good bar has in­ herently comic possibilities John Larroquette (Dan) 'What the f**k?" Married With Children's notorious Bundy clan check out an iropean dates, episode of the squeaky clean Cosby Show. ■ecently played and Cheer’s strength and Richard Moll (Bull) 'igs in London, comes in no small part shine in supporting roles; Japan and Los from the fact it can utilise other players are just try­ A lame update of Be­ nal). Any hope of Free their five well-adjusted be willing to have crack this aspect of its location ing too hard. (2) witched with the slight Spirit imitating the zany kids. Cosby’s occasional pipes stapled to their ears flashes of laconic genius 5 are that they without glorifying the con­ variation that the sisterly humour of its 1960s pre­ before they go into care. don’t make up for the fact ding down un- sumption of unhealthy li­ witch comes to help a solo decessor is however con­ Laughable rather than ir. I’ll definite- ' quids, eg W oody: Free Spirit (Sat, 2, yuppie father instead of a stantly undermined by that 90% of the time this funny. (1) » gig if they do “Evening Mr Peterson, got 6.30pm) bachelor (as in the origi- twee acting and moralistic show is unbearable unc- i the meantime storylines. Very 1980s.(2) tous tribute to the middle spending a lot class blacks who turned Murphy Brown (Thur, 3, 8pm) my turntable, Duet (Sun, 2, 11.45pm) their backs on the slums Candice Bergen hits the ith Townsend The first series of this and opened their wallets to tale of Ben and Laura, two Reagan. (4) spot as a TV journalist on romantically involved self a news magazine show employed yuppies, was called FYI. A virtual slushy and predictable and After M*A*S*H (Sat, 3, character for character rip lpm) deserved the low ratings it off of the Mary Tyler got in its 9.30 slot. Set in a Stateside vete­ Moore Show, but it’s fun­ Ironically this second ser­ rans hospital after the nier, so who cares. Mur­ ies, relegated to a grave­ Korean War. A bit like the phy’s fire-a-secretary-show old M*A*S*H without ■ yard shift, is miles better, routine is the best running employing a sharper wit any of the main charac­ gag around — and one of and some innovative sight ters, funny lines or good the most original (the gags that give it much ideas. Come to think of it, writers have so far come Brother exactly like the old vriter needed kick (last week sub up with 22 different an­ titles appeared on screen M*A*S*H without any of noying character traits for when the maid’s vacuum the main characters, fun­ the role). Trivia for regu­ ny lines or good ideas. cleaner drowned out the lar fans: the fictional Almost as funny as Grow­ dialogue). The expanded framed magazine covers space given to Ben and ing Pains. (Vi) of Murphy’s office wall Laura’s married friends, are gradually being the meek and geeky Ric­ replaced by real ones of hard and the JR-like Lin­ Married with Children Bergen as the show wins da, is another bonus. (Fri, 2, 9.30pm) acclaim in the States. Surprisingly fresh faced The greasy residue of Don’t be put off by the comedy — check it out.(8) the American dream. The yuppie trappings, this is Tang sandwich eater, toi­ one of TV3’s finest. (8) let humoured B side to ev­ ery record Bruce U Q B E 1 B Q Growing Pains (Sat, 2, CGEQQO Springsteen ever made. ALF (Sun, 2, 6.30pm) □ B B G B B 7pm) The family that stands out □ B D P O E Mildly diverting, if Um ... a pleasant theme like a sore thumb on the I 1 B 1 1 somewhat contrived, tale 1 B B B I tune. The programme it­ fingerless hand of Yankee lEBBfl about a furry alien who o a SBi self: almost as funny as a culture. You know what crash lands on Earth and * ■ % , < toasted cheese sandwich. I’m talking about. (9) culators lives with a typical Los mi (1) Excluded I Angeles family. Running a bit short on ideas. (6) Sister Kate (M on, 3, The Cosby Show (Sun, 2, 7.30pm) Why can’t the Ameri­ INVENIENT J 7pm) D ynasty’s Stephanie cans ever make a well CATIONS Former black radical Beacham stars in this in­ crafted six part comedy stand up comedian Bill tensely stupid story of a like the British do? f i \ j ':1 Cosby has literally made nun trying to keep seven *h 303-1741 V ; ' hundreds of millions of precocious orphans on the Watch their 14 other sit­ 180-1285 dollars from starring in straight and narrow. After coms yourselves, f**k it >h 525-3294 ,33 this ultra gentle sitcom watching this pukingly (Travis collapses over his about a New York obste­ cute affair I’m sure most video and falls into tor­ jnhindered by talent: Free Spirit's Gene Harper and Corinne Bohrer. trician, his lawyer wife and New York orphans would mented slumber).

Craccum, 18 June 1990 — 11 LETTERS (Continued from page 14) FACE VITI BITES BACK SLAP, SLAP W HAT GOD DID and I would think there would be many who would find it of­ To our Dearest Piglet Ni Sa Bula Psyde H To Masters Gray, Holroyd and Dear Eds fensive. AGENDA FOR SRC We are a bunch < Weil Mr Tabia - re your let­ R o a c h In the beginning there was I am also a little disappoint­ srds who strive on ter concerning an alleged 'Fiji I am disgusted with your God, and he created the earth. On Wednesday 20 June in the Quad ed to see that obscene lan­ Ive, We read a lot, \ Social Blunder.' The only social performance thus far. Your He then said, "let there be commencing at 1pm. guage has crept back into the socialise, and our ho blunder that seems to have 'rag' is sexist and offensive to light" and there was light. God Present: paper. In my mind it was a con­ watching butterflies been apparent that night was reasonable students. Do you then created Universities, then siderable step up to eliminate Apologies: daisies. But, do not m you and your friend. really believe that because 'Viz' students, then everything else. sjust merely a group Not only do you denigrate the magazine shows Naked Then the students said to God, this and regardless of some of Leave of Absence: the arguments that were direct­ U, morbid sods, bee Fiji Students associations' ef­ Motorcycle Girls you can too?! "W here did the light come President Henry ed at Steve for standing firm inow a great deal at forts to provide popular (yes When students exercise their from?" Mins of Previous Meeting: against those who sought to Piglet, how dare y darling, popular) entertainment right of complaint you three tri- God replied, "From the sun," THAT the SRC minutes of the Meeting held on 13 June use such language earlier this jitor for Craccuml Fi but your chastising of the way vialise them, any grown up then he created the sun for stu­ be taken as read and adopted as a true and correct year, no compelling reasons for we've gathered, you a things are run sound distinctly knows you have to take the dents to discover. Then the stu­ record. LageJooking, long like racial slurs against the rough with the smooth - ie. dents asked "Where did we altering the policy ever Matters Arising: snouty and thick bri Fijians. For example, let me people don't always have to come from?" emerged. It may be that gutter lan­ Elections/Nominations: vered skinned artiodac quote you..."we found to our say nice things to you. I noticed And God created sex. guage is published by most Student Union Management Committee (3 positions) mal. We feel that Ec sheer surprise that there were that in Craccum vol 64, issue Students then asked "Why Nominations: such a groovy newsl Fijians. Ok social never mind 12,11 June 1990 that the only are we here?" publications these days but Overseas Student Officer Craccum should io< them ." people who you put down And because God didn't have that is not the point. You have Nominations: Moses Faleolo ihandsome. "The fish-market type at­ where those complaining about an answer, he didn't give one an opportunity to rise above Care for a face-lif mosphere." the sexist nature of Craccum. and to hide His ignorance he this sort of thing. The use of Clubs for Affiliation: such language in written form Jwhy not? Joan Co These lines were weaved Simply through the labels you said "Proof defies faith and THAT the following clubs be affiiated to AUSA: done it, so it's about into a letter that was at times gave to these letters you trivia- without faith, I am nothing," seriously detracts from the ten­ AU Musicians Club AU Swords Club hit the headlines of blatantly but more often impli­ lised them (Betty's Babble, and promptedly said nothing or of the publication, adds Fiji Club AU Orienteering with your face-lif citly condescending and pat­ Wee Dangler and I am a Loser), else in fear of proving himself. nothing to the argument the Atensi Alumni AU Rock and Alpine vaganza. ronising. none of these titles reflected Students found this slightly author wishes to advance and Tritos Elephant Trunk Yours If you don't like the Fiji style the content of the letters and all unfair and went on a voyage of is offensive to some. Jewish Society Tokelau Students The SI and you think of us as cultural­ were unjustly insulting. truth, knowledge and a lot of I would conclude this letter Indonesian Students As­ ly lost Fijians (I refer to your Editorial replies are to be bonking. on a positive note. I think it is sociation A NO-BODY fair to say that the editorial own Kiwijians label of us) on used for the correction of So if anybody can prove Dear Humans standard of Craccum has been Executive Report: the flimsy basis that to enjoy wrong information, directed at God's existence, please tell me, Treasurer — Wayne McDougall I am sick of being 'todays' music is to register a the reader, not the writer. Your because God isn't important to very high this year, and the feedback in the letters pages is Announcements: granted. I feel that I ( lack of appreciation for things editorial replies to these people my existence and I would find ceive the gratitude, < traditional, is surely a lost soul did not recognise what they it mildly amusing to watch God clear evidence of a good level General Business LAVALETTE/SABINE reluctantly died for yc himself. were saying, all they did was disappear in a puff of logic. of readership amongst the intended audience. Please do The Fiji social committe pick up on meaningless items Yours THAT a 5c reduction in the price of all large hot drinks ^ you t0 e! ^ ^as1 not allow a generally good ef­ be given to people who supply their own cup. ] 'e me' advertised that a DJ would be that made you three seem not Rodney what actually goes playing which has normally quite so bad. The Nude Motor­ PS. Auckland University is the fort to be sullied by rubbish NEWMAN/PANAPA minds when y such as "Bloke Magazine" or been the case at previous func­ cyclist is sexist no matter centre of all things, so be THAT SRC directs the Acting President to send a letter ^ eat hot cross the use of foul language. tions. There is no point in turn­ where it came from, and Crac­ proud. to Professor Winiata expressing AUSA’s support for the Cfeme eggS on Easte ing up to such an advertised cum is a magazine for the stu­ PPS. The Hitch-hikers guide to Yours faithfully move to block the sale of Telecom on account of the sale Philip Ross H e a v e social only expecting to hear dent population of Auckland the Galaxy is a brilliant book. being in breach of the Treaty of Waitangi. Somebody n a m e d J e what you want to listen to! University (we pay for it), not Technical Consultant Awards: is as baffled as a n y o f Next time (?) read the Fiji perverted old men. Does it mat­ 1 statistic: Board properly, preferably ter who was responsible for the NOTICE OF SRC when your brain is in the oper­ naked female torso on the CLEAN UP CAMPUS CARDINAL THE KING Ll\ ative mode and all systems cover of Craccum on the 28th Every Wednesday at 1pm in the Quad or Cafe extension Dear Piglet CHUNDER the Student Representative Council meets — that me­ Dear C ra c c u m working. If in doubt defer until of May, it was offensive all the Re the Communists, Religos, To the Eds ans you students can vote, participate in debates, put I am in a state of it reads 'Cultural Mosaic' where same, and surely students have Green Nazis, Socialist filth and For those who missed my re­ forward a motion for discussion and hear what is or isn’t Ithink I have seen th< at least you won't need to steal a right to complain. It was your all the rest of the swill that hang cent performance at Shadows, happening in AUSA. singer/film-star ever, other peoples' chairs just to get reply to RM Bennett I found around the Varsity and write the goblin song goes: vis playing squash ii a seat. I was wondering who most offensive. Just because trash to your newspaper. Be a student rep on the Sports Grants Committee, be See the little goblin, centre, or at least it Ii the nice people were who took he applied for the position of These guys are sick. I don't a voice and be heard. Nominations close 27 June, elec­ See his little feet, Elvis. Can you confirr our chairs while we went to interim editor and was turned like what they are trying to tion at SRC — see the SRC noticeboard. See his little nosey-wosey, or not Elvis is attei "vibrate in synchronism" on down does not mean that his force on me. I don't want to live Isn't the goblin sweet. What about management of the Student Union build­ university or not. the dance floor. views are any less relevant. under their system. And I sure E Blackadder V ing? Here’s your chance. Three positions on the Student PI Wake up Mr Tabia - you are Remember who you are here don't want them in charge tell­ (face down in a puddle) Union Management Committee — see the SRC notice- The Pineapi not at USP and instead of sit­ to serve, and that is us, not ing me what to do; and getting board. Nominations close soon. ting on your tw o faced arse as your own ego boosting through involved in my private business 60SH. I'M TC usual, why don't you do some­ the defamation of others. Two positions are open for a student rep on the Publi­ and messing up my life. SMASH THE The Editor thing positive for the Fiji Stu­ Nicole Humphries cations Grants Committee. Be in quick, they talk money They are totalitarians, with G'day. I had a loo! dents Association on Campus VARSITY Details on SRC noticeboard in Quad. no right to power, with no :e magazine. Its go and then you'll realise the im­ Dear Mr Piglet enlightenment, no truth and no blokes writing ! possible task of having to I guess this University Educa­ CAUTION: real answers. If they want of the usual pan please Somebody like yourself. tion Amendment Bill has got CONTAINS SATIRE things to be done their way; BACON RIOT POTS AND ish you see in Ci Yours scornfully they should go form a com­ the academics by the short To all interested Here's a hot tip fre Auntie Viti hairs. Good job too! Dear Cockroach, Gort and KETTLES mune on a deserted island, not e (that's me). - ( A simple scientific experi­ It's funny to see them strug­ Carcass try to boss the rest of us Dear Editor I was over at my ment for Freethinkers. gling in vain against a higher The rumour that swineswill is SOUNDS EXACTLY around. So far we have seen exa s place in Remr 1. Take 2 universes - one with authority which doesn't care resurrected from the dead is Don't publish any more of pies of pornography, obsc a bit of concretinc LIKE .... diety and one without. for them, just as they don't totally false. The truth is that their scum in your newspaper. ty, violence against men etcii :e it was bloody h To the Editors 2. Make progress records over care a stuff about students. myself and another hairy Why promote them? Why even the women's page. off my shirt afte I must object to the gro­ 12,000 years for each day. Just think how many young feminist bodybuilder were listen to them? Let's make went to see whe tesque examples of perversion 3. At the end of this period lives they've mucked about guarding the cadaver when we Isn't this a little tiny bit I these inferiors into outcasts fridge. in your paper. compare results with that of with their pedantic and often were savagely attacked by pocritical? The same and ignore them. ell you guessed The back page contained no this universe. This should point idiotic rules. about 10v engineers wielding who wrote and drew all i Regards old blouse had oi less than fourteen references to out whether or not God exists. It's appropriate they should Lion Red bottles. We fought sick things claim to be again Mark Tier of Rheineck to h meat - food of Satan. A Boffin now feel the lash of the back bravely and several of the promotion of pornogn I took out one foi The editorial page contained PS. Due to the time involved I unreasonable people they their number were killed, but but they are themselv for him. Sat dov seven references to birth and suggest you get into it right NOT A (PHIL-ISTINE) themselves created. Yes, Phil during the scuffle I noticed Bri­ pornographic. :k chair and proci children and we all know what away. Dear People Goff and his mates are strictly an Bloke and an arty inverte­ It's a bit like the pot i le. Hey, but don't that means! SEX! PPS. While possibly not a bril­ I am disappointed to see that the product of the university! brate stealing the corpse. the kettle black! got my revenge, Page 3 was beyond mention liant example this letter is you are publishing this "Bloke The academic and adminis­ I had two engineers in a ed my brother-ir and drinking was mentioned on satirical. Magazine" insert. I believe that trative branches of this institu­ headlock at the time and so Instead of listening to iineek I picked the the E-team page. PPS. Congratulations to the the material is inappropriate for tion have acted like tin pot gods was unable to stop them (al­ mad fanatics of feminis my hairy tummy-bi And there was more than Collective, hope you do well. the newspaper and detracts for too long. I'm sure glad though Brian Bloke had his perhaps we should spare l ;ed it inside the ce one mention of the word luck. from the positive reputation they're getting a taste of their voice raised several octaves). time to laugh at their uniq a should have seer You are totally sick. that the publication is trying to own medicine at long last. And as for the photo in Crac­ VACANCIES? comedy. They are such a j that lily-arsed woof Lady WhiteAdder establish. If you were publish­ I hope Phil Goff dishes out cum - the corpse was propped she swallowed, mate PS. I'm sorry about my nep­ Dear Craccum ing a Capping magazine then it more. You guys deserve to be up. They'll be saying he walked Keep up the good work. you! hew, the water proved a bit Since God doesn't exist, can is a different matter, but you punished. on water next. strong for him. That's com­ I have the job? are not, the newspaper is in­ Y o u rs Yours heretically R e g a rd s J o c k fron merce students for you. B u d d h a tended for a general audience K im U s in g a K a th B u tc h Clive C

12 — Craccum, 18 June 1990 LETTERS (Continued)

PIG FACE REPLY TO EDS TOILET HUMOUR And that is the whole Colonising was easy for the away to appease vocal radicals, point.... British. They had a far superior misguided liberals, non-achie­ loour Dearest P ig let REPLY Dear Editors People don't fear what they system in all aspects. Other­ vers and amateur sociologists I SRC We are a bunch of boring New Editors of Craccum M y intellectual horizon had see as wrong or threatening. wise, why were they not such as yourself. Has the huge the Quad nerds who strive on books to In a reply to a letter by RM broadened since I moved to the They fear their own anger. In repulsed? There was a vacuum expenditure resulted in any real m. ive. We read a lot, we never Bennett in last week's issue the women's toilet beside MLT 1. the c a s e o f the two men doing in NZ and 'nature abhors a gain for the country? I think socialise, and our hobbies are existing regime (Peter Gray, Si­ I learnt that: the c h a s in g ; they're p ro b a b ly v a c u u m .' n o t. watching butterflies rest on mon Holroyd, Mark Roach) at a) It is (the toilet, I m e a n ) a fairly amiable in normal circum­ 2. Your letter is written in En­ What I should mention to you daisies. But, do n o t mistake us the time referred to the phrase meditation room to some who stances, but commit a trans­ glish. Your name is English. Rodney is that unproductive asjust merely a group of dread- "Prince of Darkness" as being wants to feel free to think gression of sufficient Your culture is English. No people such as yourself, can U, morbid sods, because we a racial slur. This allegation is about life, the universe and magnitude against them, doubt you got your 1 st year so­ only exist in a society where know a great deal about you. in fact erroneous however, as everything. offend their ethics or rules or ciology paper in English as well. you can bludge from the wan­ Piglet, how dare you be an the phrase is derived from the b) It is (the toilet I mean), where 5 h e ld on 13 June decency or morals or whatever While it's fun to cheer the kers who provide. editor for Craccuml From what black comedy "A Very Peculiar many people display their na­ tru e an d correct and watch out! underdog (and you can do this Beware! The sufference of we've gathered, you are just an Practice" and is synonymous tural hidden talents as the fu­ A major factor in this may be without boning up 1 st year so­ the productive er is wear­ average.looking, long headed, with evil, and is not derived ture promising poetics, the stoicism and reserve about ciology, try attending a rugby ing thin. More so in these hard ijnouty and thick bristled co­ from racial prejudices held by novelist, graffitists etc. I re­ emotion built into most men. game), it is far more construc­ economic times As things be­ vered skinned artiodactyl mam­ Mr Bennett. member someone writing on We don't like to display emo­ tive to consider the many come worse an the cake gets :ee (3 positions) mal, We feel that Editors for One is bound to postulate the toilet walls, stating that this tion, even anger, publically. achievements of excellence smaller your type will find times such a groovy newsletter like whether the burden of editor place, (the toilet I mean) is so These are private. that your own culture has getting very r deed. [Craccum should iook more has placed an excessive and full of marvellous quotes, So when Mort and his little struggled to obtain. 7. The truth is c: elusive for handsome. supererogatory burden on the phrases, statements, etc that friends transgress, they are not You should put your shoulder you. Don't be everything Care for a face-lift Piggy? abovementioned threesome, as one should think that Shake­ going to find any fear of homo­ to the boulder and try to they told you ir ear sociol­ Why not? Joan Coliins had they appear incapable of speare had been there to shit. d to AUSA: sexuality .... not to put too fine achieve more for your country, ogy, there's more he world pds C lub done it, so it's about time you venturing beyond monosyllab­ c) Sex educationists leave their a point on it, the rest of socie­ your people and your culture, than that. I do; the tren­ nteering hit the headlines of Craccum ic rhetoric and their palpable telephone numbers for those ty hates gays. Mort and his not denigrate what has already dy prejudices yen exposed r a n d Alpine with your face-lift extra­ insensitivities to Mr Bennett's who are keen. Cor, blimey! friends find rejection, revulsion occurred. yourself to woul even help vaganza. right to voice his opinion clear­ Some people are so generous T ru n k and dislike, not fear. Homo­ you find common sense, let Yours sincerely ly illustrate their dictatorial that I envy their moral. 3. The laws, religion, culture S tu d en ts sexuality is held to be a deviant alone truth. The Slime Balls style. d) Toilets are a haven to some, etc, of the stone age are no perversion of a very base na­ longer all that relevant to us to­ Your studies have endowed If permitted to continue their who think that it is a good A NO BODY ture. you with the ability to be use­ present incumbency, it seems place to shit because it is so se­ day (aside from academic in­ Dear Humans As a rule we don't do much less. Why don't you get out of apparent that this would pre­ rene, quiet and most of all, a terest and 1st year amateur I lam sick of being taken for about condemning homosexu­ your sheltered workshop and cipitate a progressive constric­ place where nobody can be dis­ sociologists perhaps). granted. I feel that I did not re­ ality these days, but no one live in the real world. Getting a tion of the channels of turbed by the smell. Are you suggesting we go ceive the gratitude, although I really likes the idea very proper job would be a start. But discourse, ultimately culminat­ Yours squirmingly back to primitive barbarism and ! reluctantly died for you all to al­ much. Despite legislation, oops, I forgot, you've done a ing in a condition of organisa­ Jacob, the lavatory larva, who sacrifice after so many years of low you to enjoy Easter Day all homosexuality is not normal 1st year paper in sociology, as ' larg e hot drinks tional atrophy and is in fact, very intellectual as civilisation? this while. Tell me, humans, and not seen as such by the so­ you keep boasting, so I guess >wn cup. administrative paralysis which w e ll 4. The land you talk of was not what actually goes through ciety as a whole. You can't you think you don't need a job. would render ineffective the individual private property in your minds when you wine, break the rules and expect to How truly pathetic you are. coherent and co-ordinated dis­ the manner we know today. It it to send a letter dine, eat hot cross buns and ANACHRONISTIC get away with it and you all Salute the flag charge of the function of the was not considered an asset. ’s su p p o rt for the creme eggs on Easter Day? CHURCH know the rules! T B old Craccum editor(s). Just as we don't own air, land :co u n t o f the sale Heavenly yours No amount of convoluted PS. Maybe the NZ flag should Their style of playing the D e a r Eds. was not owned in the tangi. Somebody n a m e d J e s u s , w h o reasoning can get around this, have a rising sun on it. man, not the ball, is unaccept­ Do S De Montford and Joan conventional sense. It existed is as baffled as a n y o f th e S ta g e Mort. Frankly, people just don't PPS. Maybe it should have Rod­ able and the heading placed be­ Liversedge want a return to the and was lived on: period. I statistics student put up with the things they see ney's 1st year sociology marks fore Mr Bennett's letter by the Catholicism of the thirtheenth Subsequent business deals as wrong, or unpleasant or of­ on it instead. Editors ("I am a Loser") is con­ century? Their paranoia about and arrangements were made. THE KING LIVES fensive. Break the ethic or >r C afe extension tradictory to the policy of 'not JPD and "neo-modernist secu­ Many were mutually benefi­ Dear Craccum moral code and you will be pil­ eets - that me- appreciably altering the intend­ larists" is reminiscent of the cial to both parties at the time. I am in a state of shock, as loried for it. C IS FOR > in debates, put ed meaning of the letter.' theocratic attitudes which Some were not. But any I think I have seen the greatest The fault lies within you. It is COMMERCE ar w h at is or isn't This victimisation because of caused so much injustice and disadvantages or problems singer/film-star ever. I saw El­ you who are acting against the ideological differences between repression that the thousand with the various arrangements Dear Editor vis playing squash in the Rec rest of society. It is you who s Committee, be Mr Bennett and the regime can­ years when the church control­ (which occurred to both Yes, another letter going to centre, or at least it looked like led the state became known as offends. It is you who must be groups) are not an issue today. bat for commerce. I am sick to se 27 June, elec- I Bvis. Can you confirm whether not be allowed to continue so very scared; labelled, vulner­ without recriminations from the "dark ages." Second guessing history is a death of the derogatory re­ ard, or not Elvis is attending the able and rejected. those who believe in a free The Church must include totally frustrating pastime. marks that are being bandied ?nt U nion build- I university or not. Too bad you're not normal, press. people who do not toe the Of course some land was about by non-commerce stu­ is o n the Student Please help but that's life. Yours inimically establishment line on one or won by conquest and some by dents. The stereotype image of th e SRC notice- The Pineapple Chunk Your friend The Midnight Cowboy more issues. By suggesting occupation. That's history too. a boat-shoe wearing, Rheineck otherwise, De Montford and T A in ic h Tough. GOSH. I'M TO U G H drinking, materially minded Liversedge themselves place What you are promoting (is young upstart may well be true; ep o n the Publi- BOLD BROADSIDE th ey talk money. The Editor SHAG G Y DOG somewhere between inquisi­ this promoted in 1st year so­ but so what? G'day. I had a look at your tors and witch hunters. (They Dear Mr Editor ciology, Rodney?) is similar to Why the hell should we Boke magazine. Its good to see STORY are also acting against their In reply to Rodney Goodall's the Germans evicting the Poles change just to lessen the inse­ real blokes writing stuff, in­ Dear Editor dearly beloved church letter last term .... from the land now called curities of the lesbian liberals stead of the usual pansy, lefty, Did you hear that Gorbechev teachings). Rodney; what an appropriate Poland because not even 100 that abound on campus? What lND -rubbish you see in Craccum. took his pet dog to the Summit Why is Catholic education a name! Rodney knows so much years ago it was German. the hell is the use of a degree S Here's a hot tip from a real conference in the USA? Well he "mendacity?" Because it more than other people, be­ I'm sure the Poles would real­ in Maori Studies or Art History bloke (that's me). - On Satur­ did. And when Bush found out teaches people to ask ques­ cause he had all the world's ly appreciate being told that anyway? As for you Mr RM day I was over at my brother- he put Gorbechev's dog into tions? Because it prefers knowledge expounded to him they live on German territory Bennett; why don't you pull j have seen exam- in-laws place in Remmers, do- the White House kennels with trained lay people to untrained in 1st year sociology lectures. and must give it back. Do you your head in and stop siding lography, obsceni- rg a bit of concreting for him. his own pet dog. religions? Yes, Rodney attriutes his depth want Lech Walessa's phone with every minority group on against men etc in Since it was bloody hot work I Before long the two dogs got The anachronistic church of knowledge on historical and number, Rodney? campus before your lips turn 's page. took off my shirt after a while down to discussing world po­ they want will not survive in political matters, to the gener­ 5. Considering the can analogy; brown. a little tiny bit by- nd went to see what was in litics and cow pats and things. New Zealand; maybe a religion ous syllabus of 1st year if you sold me your car or gave Materially yours The same people die fridge. The Russian dog informed his which serves the needs of our sociology. me your car or if it was con­ Mr Green Pants and drew all those Well you guessed it mate. American friend that since his time and country will. My, my poor little Rodney. fiscated by the Ministry of claim to be against Pie old blouse had only a six- master had become boss of all David Fleming The Earth must have moved for Transport (the fiends) or the ion of pornography, jack of Rheineck to his name. the Russians everything had him during those lectures. He's bank, due to your transgres­ MR POPULARITY are themselves So I took out one for me and changed. Glasnost and Peres­ G A Y RIGHTS never been the same since. sions, or if it wasn't your car in Dear RM Bennett one for him. Sat down in his troika meant new rules for all. To be fair Rodney, I think it's the first place, and subsequent­ tic. CHALLENGED 1. Yes, I do know that the deck chair and proceeded to "Before I was always time you put down your blind­ ly I fix it up. "communist" governments like the pot calling guzzle. Hey, but don't worry - chained to my kennel with a six To the Editor fold and took a real look at the What gives you the right to that recently fell in Eastern Eu­ (lack! ! got my revenge. Before I foot leash and the food was al­ Mort is wrong. truth. take it from me? It's my car and rope were really fascist ones, offered my brother-in-law his ways seven feet away. Under Mort is very wrong. 1. The world progresses; time I made it better. Go find your but they only ended up that of listening to the leineck I picked the fluff out Glasnost and Perestroika I still When I went to Australia last moves on. As in all things the own. If you work and save way because of the socialist tics of feminism of my hairy tummy-button and get chained up on a six foot time I saw two men chasing a weak are devoured by the hard, soon you can get one too! doctrines that they tried to im­ 3 should spare tht poked it inside the can! leash. The food is still seven gay guy down the street. They strong. The simple fact is that 6 . Giving non-productive peo­ plement initially. igh at their unique P Ya should have seen the look feet away, but now I can bark were shoutiing that they were when NZ was colonised Maori ple money is a losing cause. We 2. Much as I admire your free tey are such a joke. onthat lily-arsed woofter's face about it." going to bash out his brains be­ culture was at a dead end. have successfully eradicated form spelling and grammar, as ehe swallowed, mate. I'm tell­ It was obviously food for cause he propositioned them in You may admire the Maoris any hope of Maori achievement a potential Craccum editor you the good work. ing you! thought. some public toilets. Needless to for their perseverence in a most by setting low standards for strike me as being a bit of a C h e e rs R e g a rd s say they were very angry. harsh environment, but pro­ Maoris to aspire to and by giv­ wanker. Jock from Kumeu H a rry Very. gress was absent. ing huge chunks of money Clive C Martin Linnet

Craccum, 18 June 1990 — 13 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR 1990 AUSA EXECUTIVi Craccum welcomes letters to the editor from readers, on OFFICERS subjects of concern. These may be sent to us, or delivered (as indicated). Letters should preferably be typed (or written ELECTION neatly) on one side of the paper only. Short letters are DELIVER TO POST TO FAX TO preferred over long ones. All letters must include name, Craccum, 3rd Floor, Craccum, Craccum, address and telephone numbers of the writer, even if a non- Student Union Building, Auckland University Students Association, Auckland University 'Nominations are open de-plume is used. Obscene language may be deleted at the Auckland University. Private Bag, Students Assoc Inc, following positions editors' discretion, provided this does not appreciably alter or ATISA Office, ATI. Auckland. (09) 303-2236. AUSA Executive: the intended meaning of the letter. President Administration Vice- ABORTION ON JOLLY ROGER 'fashions' of today are truly Zealand which have vast despite his ability to add and I note the wild enthusiasm Education Vice-Presi Treasurer DEMAND? D e a r S ire horrendous and reflect very untapped resources and such subtract, he shows no ability in which greeted the scrapping of poorly on Auckland university small non-productive popula­ the area of guidance and ste­ some obsolete tanks and All members shall be < S ir Upon reading that the crazed as an institute of higher tions? It would certainly be wardship of amassed student planes based in occupied Eas­ : nomination election A recent correspondent to RM Bennett was refused the learning. expedient politics for their local monies. tern Europe but have heard no that their subscripti your august publication com­ editorship of Craccum I belie­ In my opinion the intellectu­ constituents. Can anyone explain to me comment on the huge build up been paid before noi ments that an unwanted child ved for an instant that justice al tone of the campus would be Perhaps the only safety for where the money of AUSA gets and manufacture and deploy­ In the case of the should be able to be aborted by reigned in student politics. That greatly improved if the practice the small countries will lie in the spent for such meagre return? ment of brand new military he/she shall have be the parents. was until I learned that Roger of wearing undergraduate nuclear insurance policy. (And don't give me a list of equipment in Russia. dent at the University I can see there may be wis­ Pym has become the Acting gowns was re-instituted. That One final point which should "services" I want to know how This sustained arm-up is | land for at least i dom in pursuing this further. [sic] President of AUSA. Mr way all students would at least be made is that of genetic dis­ the losses keep stacking up ev­ costing the USSR 25 percent of immediately precedir Since the country can ill afford Pym's true face was shown on look intelligent even if they are order. We now know of many ery year and why nothing is its economy and has gone on nomination. and does not need any more the pub crawl when, outside De just spaced-out druggies. recessive genes which produce ever done). unrestrained and without com­ In the case of the unskilled and poor people, we Bretts hotel where the Police What does everyone else serious health disorders. Yet We should have a fees revolt ment for some years. (One he/she shall have p should abort the product of the were showing a presence, he think about it? we allow people to pass these and all refuse to pay. Let's have could reasonably suggest that least two Accounting liaisons of such people before cried in despair "where are the D C re p it genes on to future generations. some ACCOUNTABILITY IN things could be a whole lot bel­ the University of Au birth, thus avoiding the procre­ darts?" Even severly disabled are AUSA. ter in Russia if a considerable equivalent of this. ation of yet more unwanted so­ His reference to and clear encouraged to reproduce. Sur­ R e g a rd s portion of this money got spent All nominations must cial problems of inconve­ support of the incident in Dun­ TH E BOLD ely this is not good sense at all. Bill Hilton on other things. Pity the Russi­ ing, made and sign niences, which clog up our sys­ edin is completely at odds with We are promoting two bad an consumer standing in end­ feast three [3] memt tem and bog us all down. the stated views of the AUSA SOLUTION RAINFOREST RANT things here: less queues for inferior goods). than the Nominee. If the parents of a child can and all other New Zealand D e a r S ir 1. More people yet! Dear Craccum And yet if the Yanks put then The term of off ice ini chose to grease the sprog be­ universities. Hopefully Mr It has become very trendy of 2. Recessive genes causing fu­ The statements by Ggary military spending up to 9 per­ iwill be from 1st Janu cause it will be too much of an Pym's view of the Police as late to be environmentally ture generations to have pre­ Lloydd of McDonalds (back- cent, we in NZ get upset. I to 31st December 1 inconvenience or whatever, dart-boards is the only opinion aware. Despite all the emotion­ ventable misery and toils. cover advert, Craccum 11 Can anyone explain the Nominations close shouldn't we the people have he has in common with Mr al attractiveness of these It is time to set responsible June) seem somewhat filled silence? Secretary at 5pm Fri the same right to decide about Bennett. causes ... their proponents are policy regarding human breed­ with loopholes. As William Can anyone explain the June 1990. the future of our "unwanted?" Perhaps the two of you could revealed to be somewhat igno­ ing. The time is now. The cost Shakespeare said, "Methinks hypocrisy? An election by secret After all my taxes pay for all be provided with funding for a rant of the facts and indeed en­ for delay is a declining standard the lady doth protest too Perhaps some of the activists beheld on Tuesday this stuff. trip to China where you could vironmentally unaware. of living (witness how NZ wor­ much." Perhaps his conscience should be asked to explain the» Wednesday 18th Ju Yours sincerely get some practice throwing The pollution of the Earth and kers are unemployed, while asi- does bother him despite his inconsistent stand to the Lithu­ Diert M a tt Levin darts at real "oppressors of the the permanent changes we an worker existing in crowded attempts to rubbish his anians, Latvians, Estonians, poor." make to our surroundings are slave-wage conditions, are out opposition. etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. I Yours unfaithfully not one and the same thing. We ODE TO PUBS competing them), political trou­ Ggary's statements would doubt the activists could even Dave the Team must be very careful to balance To the Editor bles, environmental decay, not score him a very high mark start to make an honest try! Ar­ our need for personal freedoms ARTS NOTI I love to drink, warfare, hatred and death. in any university course. He en't they so tragically funny. GETTING DRESSED against the misguided calls for until I chunder, Any worries with global attempts to deny the allega­ Your laughing friend world-wide centralised control. DANCEWORK! I love to crawl from pub to pub, RIGHT warming and pollution would tions made in the London Emotional appeals based on J Santuccione I love to drink, Dear Editors just help make the future possi­ Greenpeace leaflets, but does Introductory Course. fear, bribery and propaganda In sun, rain or thunder, It has come to my attention bilities much worse! And this not answer any of those allega­ 9.30am-12.30pm, are not going to help one little DIP And'chunder on the floor of that the vast majority of stu­ despite the fact that we have tions. Sound dialectical praxis 26-July 17. $80 or $ bit.... Shadows or the Uniclub. dents these days are very lax as the technical competence to would call for him to specify Dear [sic] Craccum Pre-enrolments esse Here is the most important By far as their appearance is con­ solve most environmental woes points where Greenpeace is I think [sic] RM Bennett is Phone 3031173 for thing to consider; Mankind has Brian Bloke cerned. Some of the so-called now. wrong and soundly refute [sic] a prick [sic]. overpopulated the earth and So here's your choice: lots those errors (if errors they be). Yours [sic] continues to breed out of any and lots of people or high living Instead Ggary contents himself Dick [sic] CLUB ROM A sensible bounds. These vast RENT A WASHER standards. All else is small with rubbishing the sound re­ populations and their insane PRAISE BE Thursday June 21: change. search of London Greenpeace growth rate are not sustainable Dear Piglet, Gort, Cockroach Waltz celebrate the R e g a rd s by quoting the local branch on by any means. This is the dis­ and Todd their debut recording Trevor Bold their autonomy. Hardly a sound ease which threatens our fu­ CONGRATULATIONS TO Near Offer' with a PS. Salute the flag. way to argue Ggary. ture; Too many people. THE NEW REGIME! launch at Club Roma PPS. Perhaps a good flag for I urge reader to investigate Our other problems are minor available in shops in New Zealand would have a the claims made against this If the journalistic standard of manifestations of the titanic Craccm, 11 June is anything to green swastika in the middle. questionable corporation in the population pressures building go by, Craccum has made a Greenpeace leaflet. The health up all the time. We will have to and wealth of your children speedy recovery under the care decide what we want to have, M ONEY MOAN may depend on it. of its new editors. The Caption huge population or good quali­ Dear Editor NO MORE REPAIR C o rd ia lly Competitions is a choice idea, ty life. How come the Students As­ the Arts and TV sections were BILLS Patriotic Southerner Fortunately in the West the sociation loses us hundreds of pretty groovy and it was nice N O MORE birth rate is falling. But more thousands of dollars every year MORE FOR to see a spot of undercover BREAKDOWNS than offsetting this is the third and yet no one does anything journalism in the Blind Date BENNETT FREE DELIVERY, world. about it? story. ESTA. INSTALLATION AND Despite, what seem draconi­ This year orientation was Dear "RM " Bennett I was most interested to read ACCL SERVICING an measures to us, the Chinese pretty bad but previous years Say another bad thing about (P3) that ATI posters included population grows remorseless­ have been just as awful. When Martin Linnet and I'll rip your f- sex orientated cartoons in their SPECIAL RATES TO ly. Irresponsible countries like will the rape of student funds king ears off. And at least I definition of sexual harassment ED India, with a growth rate so stop? How can we prevent the have the guts to sign my own and would like to thank you for is large that it will soon eclipse staff and executive plundering name. the info on "Nude Motorcycle the Chinese population by our resources? After all how Franklin Biguilly Girl." I think I'll give 'Viz' maga- 2000A D, continue to punish can Shadows make such a loss zine a wide berth, ta. their resources beyond every year? How can the ca­ GORBY TALK E Blackadder may well have exhaustion. feteria charge so much and pro­ To the Editor his sights set on an editorial po­ All this is soon going to lead vide such low quality food? Can one of your socialist or sition with Craccum, but if you to political instability, environ­ Ask yourself: where else communist or green or peace folks keep up the integrity and ment troubles, military aggres­ does the student body put up activists readers explain to me keep out the depravity, you'll sion and human misery on with such grot? Why does it why Mr Gorbachev's govern­ have nothing to worry about. Ol 2 FOR THI RENT A-WASH LTD unprecedented scales. Could have to happen? ment is underaking the largest Contrary to popular belief, you blame the leaders of those We are told of the skill of the military build-up of convention­ you have made a difference. OPEf 250 Dominion Road, Mt Eden countries from attacking coun­ treasurer and how student al arms yet seen from the Sincerely iiākRh: 605-945 A/Hrs-: 615-148 tries like Australia and New funds are safe with him, but USSR? BettinaH

14 — Craccum, 18 June 1990 NOTICES

1990 AUSA BUILDING ON ART/ EDUCATION ACTION INAUGURAL e x e c u t iv e THE ART OF V GROUP LECTURES OFFICERS BUILDING D Every Tuesday at 1pm in Rm 138 (Behind TV Room). Activi­ ELECTION Fox Gallery, 6 Fox St Parnell. University Hall, Old Arts ties to plan this Term include a Architechtural drawing, paint­ Building. National Week of Action (July ing and sculpture. Presented by 16-23), stunts, posters, chalk- 21 June, 1pm. Professor R Nominations are opened for the Artists and Architects, until the [Diversity ings, education forums, Mulgan, Political Studies, following positions on the end of June. Assoc Inc speeches, rallies, marches, par­ "What's Wrong with Politics." AUSA Executive: 36. ties etc etc etc. Please come 28 June, 8 pm. Professor I Dale, President Administration Vice-President AUCKLAND along and participate - it will Education, "The Limits and be fun and we desperately need Possibilities of Education.” Education Vice-President wild enthusiasm PHILHARMONIA your input. id the scrapping of Treasurer ORCHESTRA See you there Tuesday. ilete tanks and All members shall be eligible for Roger Pym CAPPING THEFTS i in occupied Eas- nomination election provided Bernstein and Gershwin - The Education Vice-Pres. Would those responsible for the but have heard no that their subscriptions have Music of America. PS. For further info please do removal of the head from a the huge build up been paid before nomination. June 30, Commencing 8 pm, SONG not hesitate to contact me at statue in Albert Park during the cture and deploy- In the case of the President ASB Theatre, Aotea Centre. AUSA. Pub Crawl piease return it to and new military he/she shall have been a stu­ A Programme of New Drama Works by Diploma of Drama 1990 AUSA. No questions asked! a Russia, dent at the University of Auck­ FABRIC EXHIBITION ained arm-up is land for at least one year SUBVERSIVE ACTS June 18-23 Time 8 pm The same goes for those who !SSR 25 percent of immediately preceding his/her Exhibition of New Fabric des­ stole the flag from a business A collection of short stories by and has gone on nomination. Drama Studio, Symonds St igned by students from the ATI in Mayoral Drive. Again, no NZ women writers. Submis­ Fabric Printing course at 280 questions asked - they just and without com- In the case of the Treasurer $8 Waged, $5 Unwaged ome years. (One he/she shall have passed at sions for the above anthology Queen Street from June 18-22. want it back. iably suggest that feast two Accounting papers of to Dr C Dunsford, R.D.2 CIRCUS! SONGS! TURTLES! BILL SHAKESPEARE! Matakana, Northland. SNOW WHITE & one of the SEVEN DWARVES! be a whole lot bet- the University of Auckland or An Evening of Drama & Delight! AFRICAN Deadline October 31 1990. NATIONAL i if a considerable equivalent of this. >s CONGRESS s money got spent All nominations must be in writ­ Stories may be subversive in gs. Pity the Russi- ing, made and signed by at terms of content, theme, style, CAN BANK CHAPEL NOTICES language etc. r standing in end- feast three [3] members other Drop your home/varsity Monday 18th 1pm. Chaplain­ Maximum length 4000 words. TO THE PEOPLE! PUBLIC MEETING dr inferior goods), than the Nominee. aluminium cans into the bins in cy, ''The Big Question" Part I. Send stories now. the Yanks put their The term of office in each case the quad. Make your contribu­ Grant Gillett (Otago University) Please send SAE for return of iding up to 9 per- will be from 1st January, 1991 tion to saving the world. speaks on God and Humanism work. NZ get upset. to 31st December 1991. in the Quad. hear SIMON MANANA, of the ANC >ne explain the Nominations close with the CANZ Tuesday 19th 1pm. Chaplain­ Secretary at 5pm Friday 22nd ATTENTION! PHIL AMOS - ANC Support Group Aotearoa Composers Association of N.Z. cy, "The Big Question" Part II )ne explain the June 1990. CLUBS AND Concerts June 1 3,16 , July 14. in the Quad. An election by secret ballot will 7.30pm at the School of Music. Thursday 21st 1pm. B28 me of the activists be held on Tuesday 17th and SOCIETIES JUNE 21 CHORAL HALL 2 1pm Chaplaincy, "The Big Ques­ ced to explain their Wednesday 18th July 1990. tion" continued. Debate on the stand to the Lithu- Dierdre Nehua ADULT TWINS Closing date for application for existence of God. Grant Gillett /ians, Estonians, Secretary THE FIGHT AGAINST APARTHEID CONTINUES grants has been extended til CONVENTION vs "Freethinkers” Club. etc, etc, etc. I Friday 22 June. All application tivists could even New Zealand's first gathering Friday 22nd 1pm. B28 forms must be in by 5pm, no ANC an honest try! Ar- of adult multiple births is to be Chaplaincy, "The Big A n­ ARTS NOTICES exceptions. tragically funny, held in Wellington this Labour swer". Grant Gillett speaks on LIVES ur laughing friend DANCEWORKS Weekend (October 20-22, the relevence of Christian belief J Santuccione GAY STUDENTS 1990). All twins, triplets, in a secular society. Introductory Course. Tuesdays quads and quins are invited to 9.30am-12.30pm, June Social Meeting, Fridays 4.30pm-7.30pm. celebrate, join in discussion The University Congregation in­ 26-July 17. $80 or $25/week. groups and learn about the vites you to a: accum Pre-enrolments essential. Exec Lounge, AUSA Rm 137. All gays welcome including ATI many special issues which ef­ c] RM Bennett is VISITORS' SERVICE Phone 3031173 for more info. gays. fect multiple births. The [sic]. programme includes talks by "The Meaning of Life", Sunday overseas guests and a range of 24 June, 7pm, St Andrew's Dick [sic] CLUB ROMA UNITED social events. Church, cnr Symonds St and Alten Rd. BE Thursday June 21: Bitumen THEATRESPORTS Register now by writing to: Speaker: Ray Galvin, Universi­ Gort, Cockroach Waltz celebrate the release of Every Sunday until Nov 25 at Adult Twins Convention, ty Chaplain. their debut recording 'Love or 8 pm,Maidment Theatre Box 3395, TULATIONS TO Near Offer' with a cassette Ticket $15 Concession $12. Wellington. EGIME! launch at Club Roma. Cassette Bookings: The Corner, phone Dr Michael Baker lalistic standard of available in shops in June. 303-3206 for the steering group COMMUNION June is anything to cum has made a Informal communion rery under the care (12.05pm) followed by lunch litors. The Caption (12.45pm) at St Paul's Church, s is a choice idea, Symonds Street (opposite the TV sections were 1 University and Tech) on Thurs- y and it was nice 1 5 T E/*A U A N O ’ ; DAy. (Lunch is downstairs). All 'Ot of undercover welcome. Soup and bread n the Blind Date provided. ESTABLISHED FIRST IN MEXICO CITY, TIJUANA AND ACCAPULCO t interested to read ACCLAIMED WORLD-WIDE FOR THE STANDARD OF ITS MEXICAN I posters included & SOUTH AMERICAN CUISINE id cartoons in their BURSARY BOTCH • CUTTING AND BLOW-WAVING sexual harassment EMILIANO'S RESTAURANT UPS COMPETITION • PERMING IS NOW OPEN EXCLUSIVELY IN AUCKLAND

Craccum, 18 June 1990 — 15 You could be i n E . T .

Education and Training (or E.T.) are important Each of these organisations will have an for everyone. important part to play in education and training. Whether you’re a student at school, at polytech, And they’ll work closely with the new Ministry of varsity or training college, doing on-the-job Education, whose main job is to advise the training, an employer or an employee, at home government on the whole area of education and looking after your family, or out hunting for a job, training policy, and ensure its decisions are you need help to make the most of your life and implemented. your future. That’s why education and training are being re-organised — under the Learning for Together, the Ministry and these new Life reforms. organisations will make sure that education and training meet your needs — and the needs of New Here’s what’s going to happen. Zealand.

In July*, three new organisations — the You’ll probably hear more from each of them in a Education and Training Support Agency, the month or so, after they’re up and running. But in National Education Qualifications Authority and the meantime, here’s a little about each of the Quest — will begin working to help you. new organisations.

QUEST

Training Support The Qualifications Authority Quest The Education and Training The National Education The Career Development & Support Agency Qualifications Authority Transition Education Service Training Support will help to develop skills and Qualifications open doors. They show that a Choosing a career? training for New Zealand. person has achieved knowledge and skills. Or maybe you want to change to a whole new line It’ll administer and service all the ACCESS The Qualifications Authority will make sure we of work. schemes, apprenticeships and farm cadet training in have a qualifications system which is co-ordinated Perhaps you’ve raised your family and now want New Zealand. and responsive to New Zealand’s needs. to gain new skills so you can look for a job with Although these services will continue as usual, It will make sure New Zealand’s education and confidence. Training Support wants to make them more useful training qualifications are of the highest standard. Quest can help. than ever before to the people involved and to the It will protect those standards in schools, Later this year much of the careers information whole country. universities, polytechnics and colleges of education. you’ll need will be on computer and available right Training Support will be a practical, “hands-on” And it will recognise the skills learned in a variety around the country. It’ll list up to 500 occupations organisation. of ways, including on-the-job training. and you’ll find it at libraries, schools and other It’ll listen to employers so it can consider the needs The Authority will make sure that more countries places. of the job market. recognise and respect New Zealand qualifications Quest will tell you things like where to get the And take account of what apprentices, cadets and and will also help overseas qualifications to be training you want, details of the length and cost of trainees have to say about their training needs. recognised here. The Authority will bring common- the course, and whether you need previous Training Support will work at a national and sense to our qualifications system. This means that experience. regional level. if you’re transferring between courses or If you’re a career counsellor, or someone else who Its services will respond to local situations and institutions, you won’t have to repeat courses offers careers advice to others, Quest will assist and issues and promote training to local employers. similar to those you’ve just studied or passed. support you too. Your efforts at all levels will be recognised and Quest isn’t a job search organisation but it will your path to a career will be clearer. help New Zealanders make informed choices about The Education and Training Support Agency the careers they want to follow. P.O. Box 27-048, Upper Willis Street, Wellington Ph (04) 801-5588 The National Education Qualifications Authority P.O. Box 5084, Wellington Quest Ph (04) 710-448 P.O. Box 9446, Wellington Ph (04) 499-3501

LEARNING «LIFE MINISTRY OF EDUCATION Te TShuhu 0 le Mataura,iga The Reform of Education Administration in New Zealand

* The information in this advertisement is subject to the passage of legislation now before Parliament.

Bloom E l 16 — Craccum, 18 June 1990