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Shared Human Suffering and the Glory of God...Intertwined JON VEGA I Hear Voices in My Head As I Work to Wonder About Broader Questions

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Shared Human Suffering and the Glory of God...Intertwined JON VEGA I Hear Voices in My Head As I Work to Wonder About Broader Questions The Christian life is a journey. TrailNotes speaks to forward movement, paying attention to the “landscape” we are passing through in this trail-laced wooded hillside and valley, not to mention the world beyond. TrailNotes is an unfolding, ongoing journal of the people who share the trail with us and the things we’re learning and doing. ELDERTALK: Shared human suffering and the glory of God...intertwined JON VEGA I hear voices in my head as I work to wonder about broader questions. his wife and kids checking on him. I from room to room dring my morning Circling back in need of focus, I silently speak to him as if he can hear and un- rounds at the hospital. Usually, it’s one pray for the specific needs of the patient derstand every word, because the voice of medical podcasts I listen to on my in front of me and then the needs of I hear now is that of a former patient. commute to work to get my mindset the previous two. He too had been in and out of sedation in gear, or the prayer I’ve prayed every Lord, please bring Your peace, and delirium. He said it had been the day since nursing school in hospital love and healing to this patient. most terrifying experience of his life. elevators on my way from the car to Please guide my hands and His only respite had been the anony- the wards, a cherished and sincere mind and the hands and minds mous hands that had held his and “pregame tunnel” to get my attitude of the rest of the team in the the kind voices he heard but couldn’t focused. care of this patient. understand. So I talk to the man in the I switch gears after my first rounds second room, pat him on the shoulder, Lord, let me be a light for You. and begin to chat with my patients Guide my hands, my heart, my and squeeze his hand before I go. about the local non-political news, mind as I care for Your creation After morning rounds, I have to es- about their pets, their kids, their today. cape to a quiet corner of the cafeteria. I grandkids, or the latest football scores This particular morning, as I am either watch a cartoon on my phone to and predictions. Until this seaon, I’ve dressing a patient’s swollen leg (I myself think of “nothing” for a short time, or often watched Browns fans and thought dressed in an isolation “moon suit”), I read a bit more of my books if I need of a quote by the amature painter, the voice I hear changes to part of a to chew on something. Today I chew. Winston Churchill: “I cannot pretend Walt Whitman poem I’d read the night “I pray to the God within me to be impartial about the colours. I before, as I was calming my mind for that He will give me the strength bed between shifts. rejoice with the brilliant ones, and am to ask Him the right questions.” Thus in silence in dreams’ pro- genuinely sorry for the poor (Cleveland) – Elie Wiesel (Night) jections, b r o w n s .” For the rest of the day, it gets me Returning, resuming, I thread I even talk about sports with the se- thinking all kinds of things as I lean my way through the hospitals, dated man in the second room and let over commodes, feed patients, and get The hurt and wounded I pacify him know what medications he’s get- to know the families over the phone. with soothing hand, ting through the tube in his nose, the Why am I so restless? What can I do I sit by the restless all the dark X-ray he’ll get later, the call I got from (concluded on page 2) night, some are so (old), Some suffer so much, I recall the experience sweet and sad... In the next room, while the aide and I wash a sedated and unaware pa- tient from head to toe, (I always re- mind myself to watch and learn from experienced aides about hands-on- care), verses from Matthew’s Gospel begin to intersperse themselves into the dialogue that always hums inside me. “When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?” Several hours later, adjusting the rate of a medical drip in the third room with my most stable patient as sunlight Artwork from Wellspring Christian Ministries starts to peek in the window, I begin https://wellspringchristianministries.org/matthew-2540-the-aroma-of-your-heart/ TrailNotes FEBRUARY 2021 1 rocks before the LORD, but the race” set before us. Without shared FEBRUARY 2021 LORD was not in the wind. suffering, we wouldn’t feel the love After the wind, there was an that gives hope piercing through the 4 Women of Grace: “The earthquake, and then a fire.But terrors of this life. Without Christ Struggle is Real” with Laura the LORD was not in either of bearing the weight of our sin and suf- them.” 1 Kings: 19:11-12 Byrom, 6:30 to 8 pm. at GFC. fering, we would be lost, without hope Then I hear it - a gentle whisper from or love. I drift off to sleep, repenting 7 Pastor Eric Byrom preaching: the Scriptures saying, Mark 1:1-20. of my hermit Christianity and praying “Rejoice that you share in for a great yearning and reawakening 11 Game Night training, 6-8 pm. the sufferings of Christ so that of shared community in His Church you may be overjoyed at the both in my local church and in my 14 Elder Jon Vega preaching: revelation of His glory.” 1 Peter 4:13 Mark 1:21-48. own heart, determined to transfer “Truly I tell you, whatever what I’ve learned on the front lines of Circle Leaders meeting 2 pm. you did for one of the least healthcare to a greater walk with Jesus Zoom. of these brothers of Mine, and His people. you did for Me.” Matt. 25:40 Happy Valentines Day! May you and I be willing instru- I get home just as the snow begins ments in His glory through sharing the Women of Grace, 6:30-8 pm. 18 to fall. I think about the day I’ve had. suffering around us. 20 Men’s monthly breakfast, 9 am Right now in the ICU, it seems like I see at GFC. Bring a sack meal. more suffering than glory. I can feel the weight of it in my soul, but I know There is no fear in 21 Eric Byrom preaching: that human suffering and Mark 2:1-17. love. But perfect love God’s glory are intertwined. 25 Game Night training, 6-8 pm. drives out fear because “ 28 Eric Byrom preaching: More than that, we rejoice in Mark 2:18-3:6. our sufferings, knowing that fear has to do with suffering produces endurance and endurance produces punishment. The one Shared Human Suffering... character and character pro- (continued from page 1) duces hope and hope does who fears is not made not put us to shame because about it? Why has church felt so cold God’s love has been poured perfect in love. We love this year? Why do I feel a calling here, into our hearts...” Romans 5:3-5 because He first loved but struggle lately at church? Without suffering we would have As I drive home, I still don’t know no endurance, no life left to “finish the 1 John 4:18-19 the right questions, but I know I’m us. tired. My ears are tired. I try to quiet Jon Vega is an ICU staff nurse at UH Samaritan Medical Center in Ashland, the various voices of the day. I open Ohio and also serves as an elder at Grace Fellowship Church, Mansfield, Ohio. my ears and listen because I want to hear the silence. I hear the sound of my tires rolling over uneven road repairs. I hear the sound of a bass-beat in the car next to me. I hear the loud rumbling whoosh of the ODOT truck and the pelting of its salt. Something stirs in me and I pray outloud. “Thank You.” I say it to my dashboard. I say it to the cold wind as it rushes past my closed win- dows. I say it to the only One who’s listening. I say it four or five times. I’m reminded of Elijah: “Then the LORD said, ‘Go out and stand on the mountain before the LORD. Behold, the LORD is about to pass by.’ And a great and mighty wind tore into the mountains and shattered the Original art work by Michelle Greene Wheeler (Romans12DeSigns) 2 TrailNotes Japan Newsletter Long time no see! お 久しぶりで す ね！ from Andy Brubaker Greetings from Japan! It has been quite some time since the last update January 2021 was sent to you. I thank you for taking the time to read these newsletters. As always, hope is that this will be informative to you in 1) sharing the experience of living in a foreign country, 2) encouraging you in your own walks with Christ, and 3) keeping you up to date when you wonder how Andy is doing in Japan. 2020 Adjustments: 2020年の調整: In the last editions, I had mentioned how the pandemic was affecting the team over here in our work and ministry.
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