Australia’s The World’s Longest Shortcut world travelers

Jim, a long-distance trucker sporting a thick ond, she’s thrown forward as her 650GS dusty beard, ancient jeans, and a faded- high sides before smacking the ground hard orange safety shirt, is outside. and flipping. Lisa’s pinned under the front left fuel tank. Adrenaline pumps as I spin “‘Struth mate. You’re ready for an adven- around and rush back to her. ture, eh?” asks the inquisitive truckie (truck driver) pointing to the motorcycles. Lisa’s yelling as fuel erupts from a split line, drowning her helmet, goggles, and eyes “We’re riding down to Perth across the Out- in burning gasoline. She kicks herself free, back,” Lisa answers. yanks off her helmet, and pours our recent- ly bought water over her face and into her “You be careful out there. That place wants bloodshot eyes. We lift the bike upright and ya dead. Ah, heck, young fella, good on ya. instantly spot that the punctured rear tire is Mind the roos. Ya’ll be right,” Jim adds with partially peeled off the rim. While Lisa con- a dry chuckle. tinues to flush out her eyes, I straighten her bent gear shifter and re-attach her broken “I think we’ve just met Crocodile Dundee’s handguard with a zip tie. She’s shaken but dad,” Lisa comments to me with a smile. otherwise OK. It’s another 50 minutes be- fore we’re clicking through the gears and The Outback Has Teeth once again cruising west. West of town, the tar ends abruptly. With a thump, we drop to the loose gravel track. Later, camped near the tiny Outback settle- With our tire pressures lowered, we pick ment of Alpha, the embers from our small up speed. On the pegs, I squeeze on the campfire glow red, and we’re witnessing throttle, and my rear wheel drifts out before one of the most brilliant star-filled skies we I straighten for the next long left. can remember. The Aussie Outback has given us fair warning of what’s to come. Two hours of glass (shiny ball-bearing) gravel later, the air is pungent as we speed Patches, Potholes, and Parks I’d commented to Lisa that I e are perched on the northeast- We are southwest of Mackay, and Lisa’s F through a grove of silver-barked eucalyptus We joined the Landsborough , a wanted a ‘big’ ride. “I need ern coast of the world’s sixth 650 GS belts out a hefty “blat, blat, blat” trees. Clearing the trees, I plow into a deep long, worn stretch of asphalt, three hours some dirt, sand, raw beauty, Wlargest nation and biggest is- as she eases off the gas, applies the brakes, wash of dust and rocks and instantly shift ago. As we cruise northwest, we form a land, as well as one of oldest landmasses and pulls to a stop. Six large kangaroos leap my weight to compensate. In my mirror, new plan--we’ll aim to reach the Central and a little danger. Well, just on the planet—. At a gas station in in unison across the . I can see Lisa’s bike is sideways, her rear West town of Winton where enough to shake me up a the town of Mackay, Lisa tops off the fuel The large male at the rear throws us a sus- wheel sliding out violently. In a split sec- we can get a new tire for Lisa. We only little,” I’d continued naively. I tanks while I check the bikes over. Nearby, picious stare before disappearing into the should have known better. the Coral Sea pounds the beach as a stream tall grass on the other side. “We’re going of boats head out to the Great Barrier Reef. to have to be very careful of this particular At $250 per person, this excursion is out of hazard,” I yell to Lisa. our budget. Text: Simon Thomas We’re looking at a straight piece of tar Photography: Simon and Lisa Thomas The air carries a salty tang. A warm dry that stretches out of sight. Fields of sun- breeze lulls our senses, but it does little to bleached brush grass stretch out under a distract me from the building knot of anx- cloudless sky. After heading west for five ious excitement that’s growing in my stom- hours, we meet the Gregory Development ach. Ahead is a long and unforgiving off- Road and turn south, grateful for the inter- road route--the “World’s Longest Shortcut.” ruption. In the small town of Clermont, we These 2,600 miles across Australia take in cruise the short main street and stop to re- uninhabited desert and challenging ter- fill our water packs; we’re already parched. rain, and they will see us traverse this vast The little wooden-decked provisions store caption 1 caption 1 caption 1 caption continent from coast to coast. We’re here looks like it would have 50 years ago. In- 1 caption 1 caption 1 caption 1 to motorcycle the real Australia, the prime- side, the beaten 1950’s Coca-Cola fridge val interior where walk-about legends take is overflowing with chilled bottled water. caption 2 caption 2 caption 2 root in the blood-red earth, and the land Handing over our cash, we quickly fill our caption 2 caption 2 caption 2 whispers to those who listen. We’re headed water-sacks. Caption 3 Caption 3 Caption into the Outback. 3 Caption 3 Caption 3 Cap- tion 3 Caption 3 Caption 3

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hope the three heavy patches will hold un- trains, the trucks that pull up to five trail- til then. On the north of town, we set up ers behind them. Someone should have camp at the Matilda Country Tourist Park. warned the roos. East of Middleton, we Across the road, Steve, the local tire guy, slow and carefully skirt the carcasses of 12 pulls out a very used, but ridable Conti TKC kangaroos killed “domino style” when a 80. Lisa’s grin is a sure sign of her approv- train tore through the group. al, and Steve jokes about my repair as he mounts the new rubber to the rim. Slowing, we peel off the tar, and our wheels spin on the rocky dirt tracks. We negotiate a “Good on ya,’ Young Fella” steep incline to the top of Cawnpore Look- For two days, we’ve rubbed shoulders with out where we set up camp near a tin-roofed Winton’s locals. The rustic wooden bar in sun shelter. Our rocky vista glows orange as the Mens Room (yep, men only) at the Tatt the sun sets, and we prepare our evening (Tattersalls Hotel), has made an exception meal. Tomorrow, the real dirt begins. for Lisa and we enjoy easy conversation with the regulars. Bill and Murray, two Unwelcome Neighbors weather-beaten cattlemen, nightly sip on At sunrise in the hamlet of Boulia, we fill cold amber beer after a 12-hour shift of our fuel tanks to the brim. The jolt of hand- sun-baked ranching. We learn that Winton ing over $205 for gas wakes us both up. The has a rich history as the birthplace of both fuel here in Australia has been some of the the folklore tune Waltzing Matilda, and most expensive we found in the world; the QANTAS, the world’s second oldest airline. remoteness of the Outback pushes that cost up even further. With our gas tanks full, we Highways of Blood and Fur need to take care of our other fluid neces- By 6 a.m., we’re loading the bikes in a sity, water, and pack a whopping 13.5 gal- swarm of black flies. Back on the dry, flat lons. We’re going to feel that extra weight. Kennedy Development Road, our day caption 4 caption 4 cap- is long and hot. Roadkill is a sad fact of We pass the metal sign for Fence Creek, tion 4 caption 4 caption Outback life, but the carnage is shocking. and 4.5 miles outside Boulia we stop by the 4 caption 4 caption 4 caption 4 caption 4 We’ve also been warned about the road- large faded wooden sign that reads “Wel-

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november/december ‘13 99 world travelers world travelers

caption 8 caption 8 caption 8 cap- Alice, Alice, who in the for 157 days. Mark, the owner of the Stu- tion 8 caption 8 caption 8 caption art Caravan & Cabin Tourist Park, where 8 caption 8 caption 8 caption 8 world is Alice? It’s been two days of the same since Arthur we’d stayed in Alice, suggests we camp at caption 9 caption 9 caption 9 cap- Creek. The tar began abruptly ten minutes Rainbow Valley. Some 46 miles south we tion 9 caption 9 caption 9 caption ago, and we are now cruising into the geo- turn off the , and within 9 caption 9 caption 9 caption 9 graphical middle of Australia, better known seconds we’re battling to negotiate the as the Red Center. On the Stuart Highway very deep sand of this narrow track down north of , we pit-stop for a to the valley. As we reach a clearing at the quick photo at the Tropic of Capricorn. valley entrance, our mouths drop. Rising from the cracked and salt-encrusted clay- Straddling the Todd River and cozying up pan, the multi-colored sandstone bluffs to the MacDonnell ranges, Alice Springs rise like ancient battlements in shades of has passed into folklore legend. This region ochre, orange, and purple. We set up camp has been home to Aboriginal communities as dark low clouds eerily form. The natural for thousands of years and home to the Ar- color-and-light show we’re privy to for the rernte people long before European explor- next two hours is glorious. To our delight, deep sand. Lisa’s controlled application of ers founded a settlement here in 1871. At a gentle shower creates a rainbow over the the throttle keeps her straight and upright 25,186 today, the population makes up 12 valley; and in the distance, bolts of lighten- as her bike’s back end snakes and weaves. percent of NT’s entirety! ing crackle through the air. It’s two hours before we cross the border from Queensland into the Northern Terri- Rainbow Valley Monoliths in the Desert tory and start our leg on one of Australia’s Three days of Alice’s malls, aboriginal gal- We skirt the southerly flanks of the West most notorious routes, the . leries, and air-conditioned café’s were a MacDonnell National Park before we pick The guidebooks list the Plenty as 4x4 only. nice interlude but not what we’re here the smaller Outback tracks south and again We’ve learned not to become complacent; for. Restocked, we are again on the move. join the Stuart Highway. Orange, Maloney, the track tugs on our concentration as it South of Alice, we pull over and gulp wa- and Five Mile Creek are in our rearview caption 10 caption 10 cap- transitions from rock and bulldust (a super ter; my thermometer reads 128 degrees. mirrors. With more than 1,300 miles to tion 10 caption 10 caption 10 caption 10 caption 10 fine red dust) to formed earth. We’ve only Perth, we have to pick up speed. We scoff This has been the longest time that Alice caption 10 caption 10 passed two vehicles in the last three days, has ever gone without rainfall, not a drop a couple of burgers and cold cokes at the caption 10 caption 10 but we’re forced to swerve into the verge to avoid a truck now steaming toward us. We barrel into the dense cloud created by our recent road-hogging visitor. With zero visibility, we hope that there is nothing in our path. Twenty seconds later, we emerge safely.

This country is mind-boggling; the federal Australian Territory of the (NT) is a staggering 520,902 square miles but is still only the third largest territory in Australia. NT is, however, home to some of come to the .” The mo- to retain the small fire we cook on. We’ve the most iconic locations in Australia: Alice torcycles squirm in the soft, plowed sand been rehydrating since we stopped and are Springs, Ayers Rock or Uluru (indigenous track that is the Donohue. Pulling over, feeling more alert. Suddenly, I blurt out an name), and the Olgas to name but a few. we deflate the tires and rush to get moving obscenity as I stare beyond Lisa to the 10- The first sign for fuel since we left Boulia again before we roast. My bike’s thermom- foot snake slithering its way through the (280 miles ago) has us detouring right. We eter reads 123 degrees. We’re keeping a grass toward us. A few pokes with a stick hand over $170, and we’re not even empty. good speed in fourth and fifth gear but de- chase it away. Back at our campfire, we are This route is as much a test of mental forti- hydrating fast, and we’re struggling to ride both now keeping our eyes peeled for other tude as it is a test of riding skill. By late af- and drink simultaneously. “I’m done,” I yell unwanted visitors. ternoon, we’ve been motoring eight hours to Lisa. Amid a shrub-strewn landscape, a on a wide-cut corrugated and sandy track copse of trees to my right will provide some The Plenty through a relatively featureless landscape. shade and a good spot for the night. Within Refreshed from a great night’s sleep, a full 20 minutes, we’ve unloaded and set up breakfast, and a pot of strong coffee, we Exhausted, we stop near the dry Arthur camp. Lisa’s cutting vegetables for dinner, are back on the Donohue and instantly on Creek bed to camp, eat, sleep, and dream and we place collected rocks in a circle the pegs to deal with long washes of very of green pastures.

100 www.roadrunner.travel Java Sea New Britain SOLOMON world travelers Bougainville Aru PAPUA NEW GUINEA ISLANDS INDONESIA Tanimbar Australia Java Sumbawa Flores Bali Pacific Timor Mount Ebenezer Roadhouse before throw- among the Kata Tjuta (the indigenous name Arafura Sea Total Mileage Sumba Torres Str. Guadalcanal ing our tired bodies back on the bikes. Fly- for The Olgas). The domes, a set of 36 gi- Approximately 4,564 miles Facts & Information Solomon Sea Ocean ing through 140 miles, we’re cruising eas- gantic formations, are believed to have ily mid afternoon. Our fatigue is replaced originated from a similar time as Uluru. with a childlike excitement. In the distance, Cruising among these incredible and an- Darwin Always consult more-detailed the formidable hulking shape of Australia’s cient orange rocks, we feel but tiny specks Gulf maps for touring purposes. of best-known landmark begins to dominate passing through time. Carpentaria New Hebrides the horizon. Indian Great Barrier Reef A Blanket of Stars Ocean Vanua Levu caption 11 caption 11 caption 11 Cairns VANUATU Northern FIGI Ayers Rock, or Uluru, rises 1,141 feet into We have pushed hard through four days of Derby caption 11 caption 11 caption Territory Efate I. 11 caption 11 caption 11 cap- the sky from the flat desert surface. It also long, sandy washboard roads, and it is our Viti Levu A1 Coral tion 11 caption 11 caption 11 pushes down approximately 1.9 miles be- last night in the Outback. Camping near the Sea

Tennant Creek

Port Hedland

Peaks Down low the surface. We spend two days walk- Malcolm Dam Nature Reserve, we prepare Mount Isa

cpation 12 cpation 12 cpa- Hwy / 70 y Loyalty Islands ing and exploring this colossal UNESCO our meal as a family of pelicans breeze w Donohue Kennedy Mackay tion 12 cpation 12 cpation 12 H Gregory Hwy AUSTRALIA rt Development Rd Development Rd a NEW CALEDONIA cpation 12 cpation 12 cpation World Heritage site. For the past 10,000 in and set about their evening chores. A u

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S Winton 12 cpation 12 cpation 12 years, Aborigines have considered them- cool breeze gives us a few hours of respite West Macdonnell Plenty Hwy West National Park Boulia Middleton Clermont Gladstone Alice Springs A4 selves protectors of this ancient, sacred, from the punishing arid heat of the last few Australia Tjukaruru Rd Lasseter Great Hwy Alpha coarse orange sandstone monolith. On weeks. As daylight disappears, we marvel Central Rd Kata Landsborough Hwy

Carnarvon Tjuta Ayers

A7

Rock Maryborough

the eastern corner of Uluru, we rest in the silently at one of the most spectacular night Queensland

Malcolm

shade of trees close by and photograph skies either of us has ever seen--the Out-

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the ancient aboriginal hand paintings that back’s swan song. We listened for the real Nature w

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adorn the rock. At 2.2 miles long and 1.2 Australia; now and then we heard the land Geraldton Australia r

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miles wide, Uluru emits an otherworldly whisper. We’ll see you again, Outback. Gold elds Leonora Rd Hwy Cook charm. We fall easily under the spell of se- New South Bourke Kalgoorlie Wales renity and timelessness here. Tomorrow we’ll be in Perth. 94 Perth Pushing on toward Perth, we spend an GPS files are available for download in each dig- ital issue purchased or included in your subscrip- Great Australian Bight Murray River afternoon on the new asphalt that snakes tion. Log in at www.roadrunner.travel. Sydney In General you’ll need a visa. Most flights to AustraAdelaide- Contact Information lia are from the west coast of the USA. A The land down under (aka Oz) is the Kangaroo Island • Up-to-date information on visa re- Great Barrier Island smallest continent and one of the world’s carnet de passage is required for your own quirements and travel advice: vehicle, which will be subjected to a very wealthiest countries. Its population density www.travel.state.gov/travelVictoria Tasman Sea is among the lowest on Earth. Most Austra- strict quarantine inspection. • General travel information for the North Island Melbourne lians live along the southeastern coastline Outback: www.australia.com/outback as desert (the Outback) covers most of the Food & Lodging • Information on the Outback land. An expensive country to visit, fuel No need to eat “bush tucker” during your route “The Worlds LongestTasmania Short- costs range from $6.50 in the cities to $10 time in the Outback! Roadhouses providing cut” www.outbackway.org.au per gallon in the Outback.The Outback is fuel, rooms, basic food, water, and camp- South Island home to venomous snakes, poisonous spi- ing are found (albeit infrequently) along Books & Maps NEW ZEALAND ders, and hungry crocs. English is the main the routes. Costs are generally higher in the • Lonely Planet Central Australia by language, and the majority of the popula- Outback. A basic double room is $100 to Meg Worby and Charles Rawlings- tion is Christian. The Australian dollar is rel- $150, a meal is $15 to $20, and camping is Way, ISBN 978-1741797732, $24.99 Stewart Island atively equivalent to the U.S. dollar. When $25. There are many places to wild camp. • Hema Maps, Australia’s traveling in the Outback, cash is king. Many Outback Adventure Map 2012, roadhouses (which also provide fuel) do not Roads & Biking ISBN 978-1865005959, $14.95 Antipodes Island have ATMs and cannot accept credit cards. Traffic drives on the left side of well-main- Despite a lot of climatic variation, “The tained, high-quality pavement near popu- Motorcycles & Gear Dry” lasts roughly from April to September lation centers. Outback routes are dirt, 1999 BMW R 1150 GSA and “The Wet” from October to March. The gravel, and sand. They are not regularly 2002 BMW F 650 GS best time to travel in the Outback is during maintained. Be aware of kangaroos that Luggage Systems: Touratech Zega Pro the winter, June to August. suddenly bound in front of you! Check on Jacket and Pants: Touratech Companero route conditions and distances between Helmets: Airoh Aviator How to Get There fuel and water supplies before heading off. Boots: MX boots -Alpinestars U.S. citizens must pay $20 to apply to the Permits are required to travel through Ab- Tech 6 and Electronic Travel Authority (www.eta.immi. original land. Gaerne SG10 gov.au). For visits longer than three months,

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