Real-Life Fashion Horror
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REAL-LIFE FASHION HORROR GOLD COAST AUDITIONS: 15 minutes of p***| GOOD THINGS 0X10 ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN Make-up that really 50 gets under your skin VI BRAT a goo db uy guide want me to put where? Baby you can We'll show yi "3+*K Ll! I'LL PUT MV ICBM N E WHERE I \>m 2" :-racl:: the code •• 1• I • I • • • • I ."8; i •I 1I • •Ml • i r. Cuban holiday % Teli us who this man is talking to and you could win a $10,000 holiday for two to Cuba. Here's a clue. Think '960s. Is it: a) Ivjikhail Gorbachev b) JFK or c) Saddam Hussein? Send your answer - a, b or c - as an SMS text message I lo 1562'to be in to win, Each entry costs just 22 cents, so enter as often as you like. Just make sure you enter before 14th September. If you'j:e.not already with Vodafone, what better reason to get connected? Cuba's waiting. O vodafone 'cneNeiiwikPtyLCTM, w2fl,©20OO. Junes' H^'5! U m m% 11 i fjf^ i^SS ijaf ski FASHION 6 Semper tackles the suburban shopping mail and comes home crying - how to find a bargain in an alien world 20 Sweatshops in our backyard, get the facts HEALTH AND BEAUTY 4 Body Beauty tips, find out how Semper got so stylish 12 Curl up with a good read and an excellent vibe - Nicola Hardy shows us how 28 What the fuck are you putting on your face??? 36 Intelligent skin INTERVIEWS 18 Semper talks with Anna Gonzalez 22 Vulcana Women's Circus 30 Artsworker project - Seeds 50 Old Spice with Mc Tash 37 24 FEATURES 32 MUST READ 26 Proper summers, with Mariza 27 The fifty most excellent things about being a lesbian 39 Recipes (that you can't eat..) 42 Cartoons!!!! 43 Websites 46 Girl tunes 48 How to survive. OTHER STUFF 2 Notes from the editors (real life people, you know??) 52-56 Union Pages - including Kristine's speech on transgendered women at this years nowsa editorial The Women's officer has a rant.... teaching staff here at UQ), do far more unpaid work within The importance of having a women's Semper is often chal society, are beaten and sexually abused within their homes lenged and many argue that to have true equality we must and on the streets, harrassed at work and study and are also have a men's Semper which focusses on men's issues subject to everyday sexism within newspapers, through and gives men an autonomous space in which to express advertising and on TV. It may not be happening to you but themselves. This flawed argument is based on the often look around you and you'll see that these things affect used premise that we all start out on an equal footing in life women that you know every day. They might not tell you, and that we are all treated equally by life experiences. This but then again who would, its not pretty especially to a soci neo-liberalist idea places responsibility for an individual's life ety that tells us to be beautiful, thin, together and have experiences on themselves and negates any role for social every consumer item money can buy to paint up a masquer inequality Women, despite the arguments of many (usually ade that we are all absolutely and utterly happy and perfect. white, well-off men and women devoid of life experience), are That's bloody tough to live up to, and many people have still treated unequally by society. Society still operates along hidden lives that they dare not utter to even those closest to lines of power that are defined by wealthy white men, des them. Open your eyes. Anyway, this is all getting a bit perate to hang on to the systems that have done them so emotive and sounding a bit like a rant, but I'm fed up! And well so far. Women reach lower levels of education than angry! AGGGGHHHHHrrrrrr men (check out the statistics about our higher degrees and Jen Smith The lUomen's issue Is put together collectiueiy in association with the Ulomen's Area. It has meant that a lot of cool people haue been inuolued, ail of luhom haue learnt a heap and contributed to the nightmare in some luau. Eueruone's input has been uaiuabie. Semper Ulomen's issue Is special, uihich means all the people who haue been inuolued haue been a bit special too: Editorial Team: Thorun Oddsson , Jen Smith, Nicola Hardy, Rachel O'Rieily, Melissa Armstrong, Sibhion Thakhur, carmen Seaby, Hoify Roberston Couer photo: Sheuuan Lee Stephens Photography; Soibhan, Rachel, Thor, Carmen, Rachel. Cartoons: Nicola Hardy '^ EKtra Special Thanks: nicola, rachel, liss, sibhion, carmen, holly, marizza, jen, sarah, sarah, Julianna, Jenny and ioseph sheuaun, arwen, susan, rachel, liz, sam, kylie, tash, elaine, sladja, naomi, anne, robin, matt and kristine, seja erin eueruone who helped and eueryone who stayed well away.... ' ' ^ semper Is pubHshed by the uniuersity of queensland union on the ad with the swinging glass doors and the women wearing nurses uniforms is just a set in a T.V studio. Semper is stil investigating this one ^ ^ 13. No one EVER, when considering which dish washing detergent to purchase, asks . whether it's gentle to the skin. No 1. Your tits are not too small if they 7. Why would you get your haircut by ' one puts their left hand in ajar of are there. Not too big if when looking any ofthe five people in that salon the prospective brand and their at them you can see anything else in anyway, who collectively occupy the right hand in a bowl of 'the control' your peripheries. last five places in the worst /largest (your average brand)and invites a , /most unflattering/purplist/hardest to chemist into their kitchen to watch 2. W^hat you should really worry about style, haircuts of all time. over them for four hours, to are the shape of your ears. Unattached determine this. They miglat do this lobes may have been fine in the 8. The nicest belly I ever saw was a at the Pond's Institute, however. eighties but the catchword from the belly that existed. Parisian runways this year is 'Attached 14. You should walk as if you have dears, Attached'. 9. The woman who brings her twelve a book on your head, but only if years old daughter onto the midday you want to be a librarian and are 3. On the other hand, arses provide show as an advertisement/exhibition armless. nice sitting material (try growing of pain free lip-hair removal is just a yours if you find sitting bitch. 15. Did you know your eyes don't uncomfortable). •all out if you use normal 10. 'Hair removal' and 'painfree' are moisturiser on them, or no 4. "Badaboom badaboom" is a nice two concepts which have never met moisturiser whatsoever? complimenting adjective each other, let alone know what the accommodating of all forms of bodies. other looks like, and don't intend to 16. To make 2 in 1 hairwash at get together in the near future. lome add shampoo to conditioner 5. No two twins have exactly the same and put it into one bottle! number and placement of pimples, or 11. Crossing your legs is fine to do, score the same number of girls/guys but really only handy when you need a 17. Perfume smells like rust and i.e. Clearasil might not be the reason higher balancing surface than the level gets up your nose and eveiyone . for one's dating success, the other your knees come to when your legs are around you. might just be a complete wanker/ uncrossed. wankess in comparison. 18. Many beauty products were 12. The Pond's Institute is not Austudy invented just to fill in spaces 6.Cutting your own hair costs nothing. approved. There is a rumour the place e.g. rouge. It's a novel idea to create your own self. Qucenslanii i9.Never take beauty advice from 23. Never take beauty V!S^^, is someone whose catchphrase is advice. People who "maintenance maintenance give it want more maintenance." 'them-looking' people, or alternatively want to 20. Waxing occasions pain. The create a tribe of epilady prolongs such pain over a five unfortunately hour period. fashioned people to walk beside. 21. A bath in mud is cheaper when you A YOIING WOMAN DEAD.. AN OeSKSEDAUTHOft CONFESSES, D.I.Y. (And more fun in company, 24. Mascara has THE MYSray KERNS. when you're semi-naked and never been knovm to intoxicated) go off, even if it did, it.^^'^' would you care ,\ .MURDERr MYSTERY! OBSESSION! 22. The only people able to rationalize anyway? The shit time spent on a thighmaster should be costs about a dollar CREIVIORNE THEATRE, QPAC JULY 31-SEPTEM,BER 2.20flft those who tests the thigh-poppability a millilitre. BOOK 011M136 24B WEBSITE qtc.tlieliiib.coiii.au: , of American Footballs. To my knowledge there's only three 'Playboy 25, No one cares Amazons' and Jour brands of American about tan marks. football inyoMBhere. People will point and laugh at your 27. To survive an expedition through sunburn though. the department store cosmetic coun ters, take an ambo's advice- 'Get do^vn 26. To cut e time spent on low and go, go, go' your beau n going to the bathroom ing my 28. Wearing a g-string may not make face' inst you feel sexier, though you will have my beau that "undies up your bum" your face sensation for quite a while till you get used to it.