U-Pick Live Scoreboard What Gelser and Rayfield Have Been up to in Salem Berries Music
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STATE LAWMAKER U-PICK LIVE SCOREBOARD WHAT GELSER AND RAYFIELD HAVE BEEN UP TO IN SALEM BERRIES MUSIC orvallis C he T ADVOCATE Free Every Thursday I www.corvallisadvocate.com I July 23-30, 2015 IT CAN BE GREAT! A NEW STANDARD OF CARE! NEW TECHNOLOGIES to empower YOU! Committed to Whole Health & Non-Toxic Options! No Insurance? No problem anymore! 2 | Corvallis Advocate Authentic Italian Meats & Cheeses summer July 23-30, 2015 YOGA SPECIAL Natalia & NEW CLIENTS ONLY Cristoforo’s 3 months for $149 351 NW Jackson St. #2 • Corvallis unlimited daytime classes* 541.752.1114 starts date of purchase Alchemist Best Sandwich Shop Winner *excludes classes after 5pm Advocate Selection as a Hidden Foodie Find Wine Classes • Party Trays 971 NW Spruce Ave, Corvallis :: 541.224.6566 :: livewellstudio.com HAT S NSIDE HIS EEK Editor/Publisher W ’ I T W ? Steven J. Schultz 4 Beav-Sci; No Truth in Site; Assoc. Editor McSeaweed Backwash Johnny Beaver 5 As the State Turns; Berry Picky Entertainment Editor 6 Be Representin’ at the Capitol, Ygal Kaufman Session Stats for Dan and Sara You are invited to Words Johnny Beaver an open house! 7 Building Fixed, Streeted Evictees Sidney Reilly Update Kiki Genoa Matt Walton 8 Artist Greta Ashworth Profiled Hannah Darling Join us at the Albany Golf & Kerry Hill Events Center to give the Sheriff 9 Kiss Me Like You Mean It, Reviewed Nathan Hermanson and County Commissioners Ygal Kaufman 10 Calendar feedback on plans for a Design new jail! Adam Payson Benton County’s 39-year-old 12 8 Days jail has become a bottleneck for Calendar the local justice system, holding less than 14 Entertainmental Nathan Hermanson half the number of offenders necessary and offering no space for treatment programs. 15 Hard Truths The Board of Commissioners is considering options to When: address community Tuesday, July 28th safety needs. Contact us: Box 2700, Corvallis, OR 97339 541.766.3675 | corvallisadvocate.com 5:30–7:30 p.m. editor Where: calendar @corvallisadvocate.com Albany Golf & Events Center story ideas 155 NW Country Club Ln., Albany } ads The Corvallis Advocate is a free newsweekly with a very diverse staff that For more information call: 541.766.6082 accepts materials from a number of sources, therefore it should be assumed that not all staff or even the majority of staff endorse all of our published materials. Corvallis Advocate | 3 By Sidney Reilly By Johnny Beaver SUCK IT, DEATH LINN-BENTON BACKWASH OSU Scientists Mainline Resveratrol McBlaze and Accidental Bacon Hyperbole Overkill erhaps you’ve seen resveratrol “This has great potential to improve advertised as a miracle compound ell, well, well I knew you had P chemotherapeutic cancer treatment,” Wit in you, Corvallis! Last week a in the quack science aisle of Rite Aid. said Adam Alani in a press release. Alani fire broke out in some trees at the It usually sits in the aisle with the pills is an assistant professor in the Oregon McDonald’s on 9th Street. The furious that advertise weight loss (with no State University/Oregon Health & blaze managed to burn what appears lifestyle change required!) or height gain, Science University College of Pharmacy, to be nine or so perfectly landscaped or something preposterous like that. It and is the lead author of the study. “trees” (also known as a self-growing turns out this particular miracle worker “The co-administration of high levels fence) and a power line. BAM! really does work miracles, and now OSU of resveratrol and quercetin, in both in Although an investigation is ongoing, researchers in the College of Pharmacy vitro and in vivo studies, I’m going to go ahead and cast my are finding new ways to shows that it significantly vote that it was crackhead in origin. maximize its potential and reduces the cardiac And probably a Burger King fan. effectiveness. toxicity of Adriamycin,” Brilliant scientists at Oregon State The Lebanon Log: On July 15, two Resveratrol has long been Alani elaborated, “and University have been putting their incredibly smart 11-year-old girls suspected as the reason these compounds have funding to good use: They’ve created freaked a bunch of people out by for the so-called “French a synergistic effect that a strain of seaweed that tastes like pretending they were going to jump paradox”—no, not that enhances the efficacy of the bacon. The seaweed, specifically their food smells so good cancer drug, by sensitizing dulse, is highly nutritious. Now is when off the bridge on Grant Street. Also, but their streets don’t. The the cancer cells to the I mention that this discovery took four drunk guys were wrastlin’ or paradox refers to the French effects of the drug.” place by accident, and that the goal something near some horseshoe pits high-fat diet of cheese and how much it wasn’t to create something bacon- and got a 30-day exclusion tag from all surprisingly doesn’t cause cardiovascular Quercetin is another polyphenol, like flavored. Sorry. I just thought I’d support city parks. Oh yeah, and a baby turkey resveratrol, thought to have a lot of the the Gazette-Times by repeating their disease. It has been thought that the got stuck in a storm drain. On July 16 same beneficial tendencies. Adriamycin sensationalism. presence of resveratrol in red wine (which some guy got punched in the face you may have heard they drink a lot of) is is a commonly used cancer drug that In Albany, the police department is at a local bar right around the same at the heart of this beneficial paradox. has toxic effects on the heart. The investigating a robbery. Just thought time two idiots on bicycles rammed study showed that not only did the two The new OSU research makes use of you’d want to know. into each other and required police polyphenols reduce the danger of the “copolymers” to make resveratrol water drug, but they also make the drug more Lebanon’s Warriors, their beloved assistance. soluble and thus injectable into the effective. Midget Federal baseball team bloodstream. This means we no longer (whatever the hell that means), were Other than that, just your average have to rely on getting it in our food and This new research threatens to make both picked up by their scruff and viciously car theft, Walmart stuff theft, warrant can just dose up, which could have huge cancer and the quack science aisle things beaten with a rubber hose... right on arrest, public urination, horses in the effects on the fight against cancer and of the past, though the wine section out of the championship tournament. road kinda stuff. several other threats to our lives. should still thrive. By Kiki Genoa BEND GROUP SEES CONSPIRACIES IN OSU CASCADE EXPANSION Truth in Site Group’s Truthyness Problem onstruction of a new four-year state’s Supreme Court. OSU has continued TIS’ biggest concern appears to be that an sites. OSU representatives say these offers Cuniversity has begun at OSU’s new building, despite the appeal. increase in enrollment will cause traffic were fabricated by TIS, who calls those who Cascades campus in Bend. The OSU congestion and limit parking spaces for side with OSU “wimpy,” stating that the OSU-C is building a 10-acre plot off satellite school, a project 30 years in the Bend citizens. OSU, however, has mediated expansion is a dangerous conspiracy. “You making, had been postponed for one year by Southwest Century Drive. Currently, the this issue with public transportation, will be shocked by the facts that we have a group of local citizens opposed to the new campus consists of just one building, but promising a donation of $300,000 to Bend’s uncovered that OSU-C doesn’t want you to campus. the new construction plan includes at least city bus system, Cascades East Transit. know,” TIS wrote to their supporters. three structures, including a three-story Truth in Site comprises 800 locals academic building, residence hall and TIS stands equally against any construction The main point TIS appears to ignore is the campaigning against OSU’s urban dining complex, a coffee shop, and student executed on the neighboring land, upon positive impact that OSU-C’s expansion will expansion in Bend, Oregon’s largest city stores. which exists a pumice mine and, according have on education in both Bend and Oregon without a four-year university. Despite the to TIS, a “toxic landfill.” According to all as a whole. Developing a new four-year fact that OSU received over $1 billion in OSU is considering additional construction statements given by OSU regarding a university augments the state’s 40-40-20 funds, TIS is convinced that Oregonians do on 46 acres of adjacent land. Until recently, possible purchase of this land, the pumice plan for improved state-funded education, not support the expansion of OSU-Cascades. only upperclassmen could attend OSU-C, mine is safe to build on. No toxic landfill and could bring important educational, However, all TIS has accomplished to date but this fall the school will allow enrollment exists anywhere in the area, though a small economic, and cultural benefits to the is delaying construction at OSU-C. for freshmen, and when construction is scrapyard composed of construction rubbish region, adding to the quality of life of all of complete nearly 2,000 students will be from an old building site can be found on Bend’s citizens. The Bend City Council, City of Bend able to attend. OSU officials expect further the adjacent plot. Perhaps, in this pile of Planning Staff, and Land Use Board of Whether or not Bend taxpayers, Truth in expansion of the campus to eventually allow old rubble, TIS found inspiration for its Appeals have all rejected appeals from TIS, Site, or OSU officials agree on the matter 3,000 to 5,000 students by 2025.