San Francisco Herald However, performing suited his outgoing show together; though it bothered him personality more than drawing did, so he that he didn’t have a recurring character May 2019 eventually joined the Groundlings, the like Dana Carvey’s Church Lady or Jon revered comedy troupe in Hollywood. Lovitz’s The Liar. SanFranciscoHerald.Net His first break came as a recurring character on Paul “Pee Wee Herman” That changed, kind of, when Bill Clinton “Serving Nob Hill and Beyond” Reuben’s TV show “Pee Wee’s was elected president. Though Phil was a fan of Clinton’s policies, Clinton wasn’t XXXXXXXXXX Playhouse.” Phil also helped Reuben write the movie “Pee Wee’s Big a fan of Phil’s lampoons of him. Adventure.” The Society Page While on “Saturday Night Live,” Phil In the summer of 1986, at age 38, he married his third wife, Brynn Omdahl, By Gene Mahoney auditioned to be a cast member on who had done some modeling and aspired to become an actress. (During Russian Hill Upholstery &Décor is still “Saturday Night Live” (you can view the the opening credits of the show’s 1990 – located in Nob Hill, not Russian Hill. audition on YouTube). He got the job – along with Jon Lovitz, Dennis Miller, 91 season, Phil is talking to a blonde XXXXXXXXXX Kevin Nealon, Dana Carvey, Victoria woman whose back is turned to the Jackson, Jan Hooks, and Nora Dunn. camera – that’s her.) It was a sunny day in May, 1998, when I walked by a newspaper stand on Sutter A friend of Phil told him not to marry and Polk to pick up a copy of the Brynn. Another urged him not to allow Examiner – “San Francisco’s Afternoon her to have access to his gun. He didn’t Paper.” follow their advice, and he had a couple of kids with her. Their personalities On the front page was a picture of a clashed – he was naturally laid-back and smiling Phil Hartman of “Saturday Night smoked marijuana, she was naturally Live” fame with the headline: Comic high-strung and snorted cocaine. Hartman Slain. I won’t go into details of the night Brynn The late, great funnyman is examined in shot Phil and then turned the gun on “You Might Remember Me, The Life herself. and Times of Phil Hartman” by Mike Thomas, a book published in 2014 that I “Saturday Night Live” has had many finally got around to reading. talented cast members, but if you had to choose a best one, I’d pick Phil. Though Phil was from Toronto, the fourth of five the book points out two of his flaws: he didn’t write many skits, and couldn’t ad- children. His family moved to Los The show had gone from being great or lib if a cue-card was dropped or some Angeles, where Phil took to the outdoor good in its first four seasons to being other technical difficulty occurred. And lifestyle there – surfing and boating. He mediocre or bad in its later seven. This his nice guy image apparently was was quiet and serious at home, so his twelfth season cast reinvigorated it as limited to his other cast members, not the parents were surprised when his high many people, including yours truly, backstage crew. school voted him “Class Clown.” think the late 1980s were the show’s finest years. Graduating high school in 1966, he The end of the book is moving, describing the funeral for Phil (and attended some community college Phil was the new Dan Aykroyd – the guy Brynn) and a ceremony for the spreading classes, then took jobs in commercial art. who did impressions of celebrities. His of his (and her) ashes. He had considered going into show biz, fellow cast members gave him the but his brother’s futile attempts to make nickname “glue” as his wide performing XXXXXXXXXX it as an actor soured him on the idea. range and easygoing personality held the I was in Walnut Creek last month and Why do you think that millions of people the government, and resources are picked up a copy of a free magazine from all over the world have emigrated allocated to their respective uses by the there called Alive. There was an to the United States and are still trying market, not government or community interesting, pithy article titled “A to get in? Why do you think that another planning. Socialist Revolution in America?” massive caravan is heading for our written by George Kapus. (Read it at southern border? Because until now, The While it is true that the Scandinavian aliveeastbay.com.) United States has been the land of countries provide things like a generous freedom and opportunity. Our system social safety net and universal health Kapus was born in 1942 in Budapest, may not be perfect, but it’s the best in the care, an extensive welfare state is not the Hungary and writes: “I am one of those world today. Don’t let the goo-goo eyed same thing as socialism. What Sanders lucky people who managed to survive Socialists turn our country into a and his supporters confuse as socialism both National Socialism (Nazism) and Socialist nightmare. We don’t need to try is actually social democracy, a system in Soviet Socialism (communism).” He Socialism to figure out that it doesn’t which the government aims to promote points out that under both systems, the work. Millions have already done it for the public welfare through heavy first thing you lost was your right to own us. taxation and spending, within the a gun, and the second was the right to framework of a capitalist economy. This voice your opinions. At this point some of you may be is what the Scandinavians practice. protesting, claiming that the Nazis were Kapus mentions that life in the Soviet fascists, not socialists, and socialism is In response to Americans frequently Eastern Block nation meant that all what they have in the Scandinavian referring to his country as socialist, the private property (including your home) countries. prime minister of Denmark recently was seized by the government. So were remarked in a lecture at Harvard’s all businesses and banks. Public transit I haven’t got time to go into detail with it Kennedy School of Government, “I know stopped running on time. Mail was this issue, but basically: fascism is a that some people in the US associate the censored. If you criticized the political system, the economic system of Nordic model with some sort of government you were shipped off to a the Nationalist Socialist German socialism. Therefore I would like to prison in Siberia. Workers’ Party was socialism. make one thing clear. Denmark is far from a socialist planned economy. Kapus recounts how his aunt and uncle (This doesn’t mean that if you’re a Denmark is a market economy.” lived in a big house with their three Bernie Sanders supporting millennial children until the town’s mayor kicked who wants to play video games - while I know this must depress a lot of folk them out and moved some party other people work to support your “free” singers and sensitive poets out there, but members there. The members sold all the college education and health insurance - the Scandinavian countries are… valuables in the house. His mother’s that you’re a Nazi.) gasp!… capitalist. They just spend a lot restaurant was taken over by the state, on social programs. And they can spend too. a lot on social programs because they don’t spend much on their militaries. A newspaper reporter his father knew decided not to escape but stay, in the And the reason they don’t spend much interest of journalism, to report on the on their militaries is because we spend a rise of communism. His publisher lot on ours. ### warned him to stop focusing on what wasn’t working and what was. After he The San Francisco Herald is published monthly by Gene Mahoney. All contents wrote a book about what was happening ©2019 by Gene Mahoney (except work not titled “Beyond the Stalin Line,” he was done by Mr. Mahoney as artists retain the arrested by the Soviets, sentenced to copyright to their own work). The characters death, and spent fifteen years in a and situations in Good Clean Fun comics are Siberian forced-labor camp. fictitious; any similarity to persons living, Also, Bernie Sanders and Alexandria dead, or in hiding is purely coincidental. Kapus briefly describes how thousands Ocasio-Cortez may think that Though well-known people and places of Cubans have tried to escape Fidel Scandinavia is socialist, but it’s not. As appear it’s a work of fiction and the usual Castro’s Marxist prison island and, more Corey Iacono points out in “The Myth of rules apply. None of these events ever took recently, Venezuelans have attempted to Scandinavian Socialism” at fee.org: place. The Mr. Fabulous stories are complete flee the socialist regime of Nicolas fiction. Herald logo by James Dylan. Ads do Maduro. In the Scandinavian countries, like all not appear in online version. other developed nations, the means of Contact: Gene Mahoney, P.O. Box 843, Notes Kapus: production are primarily owned by Redwood City, CA 94064 private individuals, not the community or

Herald Archives: 2002 about Cobain and his thinking, I fantasy that I wanted to play out. Plus, respect him more, too. He actually had I still had most of my hair back then, so No Apologies: the brains and balls to do what most of the sky was the limit. But I was 37 us should have done long ago. He years old and time was running out. Remembering Kurt Cobain jumped off at the peak, knowing the best was behind him, and refused to So I hooked up with these two young become just another rock band kids with recording equipment and participating in corporate sponsored musical know-how, Alex and Gannon. tours, just filling their coffers while They were both about 20 and they kind adding nothing new to their legend of embodied the (Hint: Rolling Stones, The Who, dozens “perspiration/inspiration” aspect of of other bands...you know who you geniushood. Gannon was kind of the are...please, stop. I beg of you, grunt side of the equation; he had just...stop.) long, well-shampooed hair, parted on the side and flung over his forehead — --- James Dylan, SF Herald he looked just like the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Black guys I once had the chance to talk with one on the street of 50th and Telegraph of the major figures of the Sixties, one where he lived would stop him and ask, of the main characters profiled in Tom “Ain’t you that Red Hot Chili Peppers Wolfe's “The Electric Kool-Aid Acid dude?” Gannon, too, had the Rock Star Test.” This fellow had been intimately Dream, and, being a practical sort, he associated with psychedelia, rock ‘n bought an 8-track reel-to-reel tape roll, and the Counterculture. We recorder and a bunch of other happened to talk about rock music and equipment and set up a home- Nirvana? began to discuss Kurt Cobain. This recording studio in his apartment. He famed Sixties fellow sneered at took recording classes at a local I'm glad he did it. When Nirvana was at Cobain, calling him “insipid" and “an college. And he laboriously laid down their peak, I was attending school at idiot." I told him how strongly I sort of generic Heavy Metal tracks on the University of Maryland's European disagreed, at which point he his equipment. It was kind of funny Campus. I knew of them and had heard commented that Cobain's music was seeing this raucous, wild, “out-of- their music, and I thought they were “garbage." What I found most control” Heavy Metal rock being okay, but that was about it. I was sick interesting, though, was that the guy meticulously created, step-by-step, of people talking about the whole didn't have the slightest idea why laying down drum machines, and then "new" grunge thing, as I had been Cobain had succeeded. This Sixties power chords, and then vocals, etc. listening to Neil Young and Crazy Horse figure had his money and his house and Gannon’s trip was sort of: Rock Star as religiously for years by then. I even his Generation X children, but he had Career Move. And he was methodically threw away all my flannel shirts no awareness of single-parent homes, laying it down, step-by-step, on his because so many idiots were wearing mass divorce, children of alcoholics, way to the top (wherever that was). them now because it was the "grunge" stabbings in schools, shootings in thing to do. But I admired Nirvana and schools, all the things that his Sixties Alex was the other side of the coin, the music that came out of Seattle. generation had wrought. For me, one with the quicksilver inspiration that One of my favorite albums is “Mirror glance at Cobain, one listen to him people associate with genius. He Ball” with Neil Young and Pearl Jam. I speaking to a reporter, and I felt a LOOKED a lot like Kurt Cobain; straw listen to the lyrics now and realize how kinship. I knew he'd been through the blond hair parted in the middle, rock "correct" he was, how he nailed society same grief as the rest of us. He was star skinny, with apple cheeks, and for what it is. What I didn't like is how pissed-off. That anger is what scared torn blue jeans. The classic Cool-Kid- the music was being labeled "grunge" the hell out of the Sixties fellow. From-High-School look that makes up or "independent.” It was rock, that's the classic image of most rock stars. all. --- Steven Capozzola, SF Herald Alex even shared some of Kurt Cobain’s self-loathing; nothing Alex did was ever I had a chance to go see them at “KURT COBAIN AND THE GREAT “good enough.” He had these Munich's Flughafen Concert Hall, the ROCK’N’ROLL DREAM” impossibly high standards, and he old airport which had been converted might come up with 20 good ideas, but It was 1994 and I remember it as if it into a concert hall (how cool is that) he’d abandon most of them before was 8 years ago. I had spent the with my friends, but I declined. The they got out of the germination stage previous 10 years sitting behind a next day I found out they got to go because he was embarrassed that he drawing board, hacking out my comic backstage and hang out with the band. hadn’t produced a work of genius yet. Fuck. Oh well. As I write this, I am strip here in Berkeley, so I was itching actually a bigger Nirvana fan now than for some action. Plus, I always had this And then there was me: I had my John I was then. Now that I understand more Rock’n’Roll Dream thing in the back of Lennon-wannabe fantasy from way my mind. This John Lennon-wannabe back when. Problem was I looked more featured on the Dan Rather CBS News going to RECORD a CD. But I was like a cartoonist than a rock star, plus I and the front page of the local papers. Captain Trips Revisited, and if you take had no musical talent (which was the So I hit on the idea of recording a enough drugs, ANYTHING can make a least of my drawbacks considering compilation CD of local street certain sense. And don’t forget: I was a what they were playing on the radio) musicians, using the same format as mere one step removed from so I was hedging my bets by latching on the STREET CALENDAR, publishing a Superstardom. I remember when those to these two kids who had Rock Star photo magazine of the street freak punk fukks in Green Day were just high looks as well as musical talent. What I musicians along with a CD of their school kids happy to get a gig at had was media connections; having music — you could see them and read Gilman and play before 30 people. And built up a modicum of so-called fame about them, and also HEAR them. I felt now there they were appearing on through my cartooning career. And I my own music on its own wasn’t strong “Saturday Night Live” in front of the knew everybody, and everybody knew enough to go over, so I was hedging my Whole World. So anything was possible. me, in the limited world of Punk Rock bets. Little did I know how many other that had spawned Kurt Cobain (the Big people shared the Rock’n’Roll Dream; Anyway, the night before the first big Thing of 1994) to superstardom. I had and every wannabe was now recording session, April 1994, I’m interviewed Johnny Rotten and Jello auditioning for me and harassing me listening to the radio and I hear the Biafra and Henry Rollins and knew all and seeing me as the Last Desperate news that Kurt Cobain — our role the record labels and rock magazine Hope for their cherished dreams. model, our guiding light, the Successful publishers, had been described as Crackheads from East Oakland that Rock Star, the man we aspired to be — “incendiary” by no less than CREEM wanted to live out their Sly Stone had blown his fucking brains out. magazine. So I was ready to rock, dream. Suburban junkies that wanted dude. I knew Larry Livermore at to live out their Keith Richards dream. The next day, I walk into the recording Lookout Records — he had published And me, gobbling down LSD by the session that I had spent months setting my comics in Lookout Magazine, so I handful as part of the Rock Star up. Our big dream. There was cute figured if I could get something good Accessory Kit that would turn me into a blonde boy Alex, with his torn blue on tape he’d put it out on Lookout John Lennon type genius of my dreams. jeans, who looks just like Kurt Cobain. Records. Livermore had just scored big 20 years old. Kurt Cobain is our with Green Day, which sprang out of Which brings us back to Alex, the cute Barometer Of Success. He’s who we’re the same punk milieu as Nirvana (and blonde boy, Kurt Cobain-wannabe with aspiring to be. Now, he, Kurt Cobain, is me). So it wasn’t like a pipe-dream; I his Rock’n’Roll dream, who was the lying on a slab in a mortuary with half was at that point just one small step recording whiz behind the controls of his brains blown out. I look at Alex, removed from the so-called Big Time. I this whole mad enterprise. These Rock cute blonde boy Kurt Cobain-wannabe, remember talking on the phone with Stars they really were Role Models for and he looks at me, 37-year-old acid Chris Applecore — the acting head of so many of us. I mean, we aspired to head, John Lennon-wannabe, and it Lookout Records — right as Green Day Be Them, or something. There was was a moment, as they say, that gave was preparing to appear on “Saturday something fundamental about the me pause. Cobain Himself had Night Live” to promote their number whole deal; something very basic, described his work, bitterly, as one record. And Applecore gave me where so many of our most basic “nothing but recycled Lennon.” And good advice on where to get my CD premises of what we Wanted To Be, now we were in the process of pressed and where to get the cover art what we Wanted To Do With Our Lives, recycling Cobain recycling Lennon. printed (the legendary Punx With what we considered a Successful Life, Anyway, I guess we all have a tendency Presses, which is a whole ‘nother what we were Striving Towards, to chase after false gods. And we all story). seemed to stem from these Rock Stars. Or at least who we thought they were. have those moments when we realize Plus, the Grateful Dead were hitting we were duped, that we’d been the peak of their popularity, Anyway, it was April and I had suckered, swindled, by some con-man, inexplicably, in 1994 (and what a long, managed to scrounge up a $5,000 grant or maybe just betrayed by our own strange trip it had been) with their to fund this whole mad enterprise. So I greed, weakness, vanity, ego, and/or brand of psychedelic street music, set up a big recording session in this foolishness. But let’s just say The which I liked; as well as the peaking boarded-up old bank on Shattuck Great Rock’n’Roll Dream didn’t look popularity of the Power Pop Punk of Avenue. I gathered together all the particularly great at that moment. Nirvana and Green Day, which I also recording equipment, and Alex and --- Ace Backwords, SF Herald liked. So it seemed to be all coming Gannon — the two recording geniuses — and all the street-freak musicians who together for me at that moment. If I I do think he was responsible for wanted their Moment In The Spotlight, could get something good on tape, all starting a whole new genre of music, and me, with my beat-up old guitar the other pieces were in place to really which is quite an achievement, and supply of LSD, together in this take off. whether you're a fan of it or not. But I building to record our great and future don't care what kind of contribution he I had been publishing the TELEGRAPH masterpiece of a CD. Christ, at that made - violently offing yourself when STREET CALENDAR at the time, selling point I had never even BOUGHT a CD, you have a kid who will be scarred about 2,000 copies a year and getting let alone a CD player, and now I’m forever by your fucked up legacy negates the whole deal. It was a shake a stick at. Torn, scuffed jeans now a widow, got popular with her own chicken shit, cruel, selfish thing to do. and flannel shirts were around and CD. Now, on the anniversary of a popular before there ever was a suicide, the media celebrates the ---- Kimberlye Gold, SF Herald phenomenon dubbed “grunge." What repackaging of a marketing campaign was the big deal? John Lennon was that forced me to stop wearing plaid. “What grunge didn’t mean to me” before my time, but he was a musical Every time I hear grunge music I think pioneer and thoughtful visionary ahead about my erections. Just coincidently, during the onset of of his time. Cobain simply reflected a grunge and the prevalence of Seattle- lot of the confusion, angst, misery and --- Shannon Wheeler, cartoonist based bands such as Nirvana, Mudhoney unfocused rage of his time and is and Alice in Chains, I was living in remembered chiefly for selling a lot of Ok, I was really hoping that the first Manchester, England. Now Manchester records and committing suicide. Groups story printed by Mr. Mahoney, written and the grunge mecca have one major popular in the eighties like Dead or by me, here in the Herald regarding similarity …… RAIN. Alive, the Pet Shop Boys, and Book of any suicide/murder of an infamous musician, would be remembering GG Foul weather that forces one to stay Love were never given the same “cultural phenomenon" status that Allin, maybe that one will come later indoors, green and gray. However, on... but for now he has asked what my sometimes through this internment a music reviewers lavished on Nirvana and grunge, but they sang intelligible opinion was of the death of Kurt great creativity can be born, as it was Cobain and how this personally in Seattle in the early 90's manifesting lyrics, knew how to balance the guitar with other instruments, and were much affected me. This probably due to my itself as grunge music. I should have age (mid 30's), which makes sense, but easily identified with the renaissance better to dance to. “Weird Al" Yankovic and Tori Amos did more interesting as far as his musical career goes; I of this rock style, as anti-pop, anti- never really followed it and never fashion, and anti-commercialism were versions of “Smells Like Teen Spirit" than Nirvana themselves. found much interest in the man a welcome relief after the 80's scenes. himself. Aside from a few habits of his I should have identified with the Kurt --- Starchild, famous libertarian I had compassion for, like his addictive Cobain, only a few months older than need and struggle for self-medication, me, vocalizing the torment of The biggest change in my life, resulting my musical preferences are inclined to displaced generation X. At the time I from the grunge movement is that I the early 70's glam rock and old school even had a musician boyfriend and he stopped wearing plaid shirts. In high punk. So nothing anyone like Kurt too was releasing his frustrations and school I loved the plaid shirt. It helped “dead men don't pull triggers" Cobain emotional anguish through his guitar, me survive. I wore one almost every did, interested me. just like Kurt. Don't get me wrong, I day. had respect for grunge as a musical No one could compare to the Stooges, style, “Smells Like Teen Spirit" became Before I discovered the joys of the ever. That is how I felt on a musical my Sunday morning wake up music! But plaid shirt I suffered. School was boring level. But on a more personal level, I unlike others around me, I couldn't and I would get an erection during had to empathize with him. At one make it a life style. Maybe it was all every single one of my classes, usually point or another floating around the those flannel shirts, ripped denim or toward the end of the period, right music scene here in SF way back when, layers of cheap black t-shirts turned before the bell. I believe to had come in contact with gray. Maybe it was that I liked to wash Courtney Love herself and had no idea my hair. Maybe my heart was still in I limped between classes. A binder, at the time she would rise above the the 80's with New Order and Cabaret near my zipper, helped me hide predestined gutters of junkie-dom and Voltaire, who knows! However, grunge myself. Around my junior year I found make such a profound impact on the music certainly did unite a generation. that if I tied a long sleeve shirt around music-conspiracy scene, let alone have Having been there and amongst the my waist, the sleeves would sort of her own remarkable career. I have scene I can say one thing for sure. The cover my bulge. When it got cold I really had enough, though, of the myth that grunge musicians and could untie my shirt and wear it and injustice of accusations of her having followers alike didn't care about that would hide me too. anything to do with her husband's (and anything or anybody was ironically let's not forget the father of her child) dispelled by the fact that they did Sometime in the late 80's or 90's or murder theories. care. They cared about music. something, grunge got popular. Everyone started wearing plaid over So aside from the Hole Lotta Love mail --- Sandy Dunn, Road Rage Bicycles shirts. They were being sold in I've read and others, I really wish she expensive catalogs for expensive would be left alone. I didn't think much You can use these brief thoughts if you prices. Suddenly a wave of fashion of the suicide the day it was wish, but I don't really have much to overtook me, and I looked like I was announced on the news and through say about grunge. I like a few of trying to be trendy. friends, the only thing that went Nirvana's songs, but to me they were through my head at the time was, never more than another “hard" punk- Sometime later, the lead singer, for “Finally that poor boy is out of his influenced guitar band among more the musical leader of the grunge misery." I have had too many junkie similar-sounding bands than I could movement, killed himself. His wife, friends die the slow death and he made There was shock and horror in the porn me, yet does back up the excuse of his quick and less painful... rather than world when news came that she was Kurt's as to why he started heroin. My a typical junkie's endless, agony-filled dead. My lord, these Porn execs must heart goes out to him. After hearing demise. I thought, Well he made his have been terrified that their number about a difficult time in a friend’s life choice; he had the courage to make a one moneymaker was dead. The that left them in need of serious choice. Most of my junkie friends didn't money! The lost revenue from this medication, with no one to count on make a choice… you don't when you commodity! Everyone in the business for support, sadly these pills that eased O.D. But still he was a genius, was hysterical. Not for her really, but their pain became their only friends, something the music world was devoid for the business. How would they ever the only thing they could truly rely on. of, say in the 1990's. find yet another Tracy Lords again? I remember hearing Kurt had kept This wasn't going to be easy. Think of bottles of his pain relievers in a It's strange though, the only reason I the plastic surgery costs. How would shoebox and talked to them. Said they remember his suicide was because I they find another? I think it was the were his friends. “Welcome home, I was working in the porn industry at the same for poor Kurt. How would they missed you, I love you, old friend," he time and just a few months after Kurt find a new leader with the same was reported to say as he kissed the had presumably done himself in, disposition, for the X, Y and Z bottles. Savannah (the top Porn queen at the generations growing in record herd time), had done the same. The two numbers? He knew he was becoming At one point, after finding myself in stories were inevitably juxtaposed. She what he hated -- a media puppet -- the same situation as my friend, I was at the height of her career, as was though he put up more of a fight. I found myself bonding with the Kurt. wondered was this a trend; were medication too. I was relieved to find I celebrities finally waking up to the wasn't alone in that. It was common Supposedly she was the “new,” yet reality of their reluctant, deniable practice to keep the bottles that irreplaceable, Traci Lords. It was stardom? Was every entertainer joining accumulated throughout time hidden, apparent in her despondent and shaky the NRA? What if Kurt and Savannah in a box as well, afraid of the ‘need' videos that she was both a heroin and had hooked up? What would that have being discovered. This shame doesn't cocaine addict, making it far less been like? She was quoted as saying, “I belong to you, yet it's there… society sensual than the movie producers had love sex and I love sex with rockers and the government placed the stigma hoped. She couldn't articulate anymore more than anything else." It could have a century ago. So all I can say is, I felt and was completely catatonic, (like happened. Duels at high noon. for him, I understood why he did it, if that mattered in porn), but it was in fact it was suicide. obvious the pain she was in and the Of all the outrageous stories I have severity of her addictions. In heard for reasons to pardon their --- Anonymous interviews, she didn't seem to deny addiction, never have I heard of this. Kurt, on the other hand, went someone doing heroin for ‘stomach' The day Kurt died, I thought I would back and forth changing his story, problems. That seemed a ridiculous have killed myself too... if I had been especially once in rehab, which is excuse... yet I understand because with Courtney Love! completely understandable… he technically, it's harder to get aid with a Of course, you can't blame Courtney wanted out! Federally Controlled Substance than it alone. She was simply the flame that is street drugs like black tar junk. I can lured the moth into the fire. Kurt got I remember reading about how think of all the times in my life I have exactly what he thought he wanted: a Savannah had, soon after making a walked down the streets here growing bitchy-strong femme who could fairly decent amount of films, shot up in SF, literally having heroin forced torment him and make him beg for herself in the head. She had done so upon me, sometimes up to five offers validation. His obvious need for a “just many drugs the night of her suicide. for me to buy on a single block -- and I like Mom used to make" love affair She got in a car accident, somehow wasn't even looking to buy. But if you (read: “Mommy issues") gave him the drove herself home, and upon arriving, need pain medication for a simple drama anyone seeking such cried to the ‘blitzed hair band injury you find yourself sitting for dependency/dysfunction would crave. members' she was staying with at the hours, say a good 12 to 14, in an Just look at his pre-Courtney ex- time to help her, and how she was emergency room for a bottle of pain grrlfriend, Tracey Marander. His loyalty ‘scarred for life and her career was pills that might last for a week, at the to her feminine “causes" got him over.' She was no longer marketable. longest. Yet they did nothing to help her. I even twisted up tighter than panties stuck heard they laughed at her whining, and And this is after a nice long grueling inside the washing machine. Then she told her to drive herself to the E.R. interrogation of you, your personal dumped him. Ouch. with bloody face and concussion (these habits and then finally... medical To feel about their life as though it may be rumors, though). She was too history. The guilt and shame some wouldn't be right if it weren't so wrong. high to consider going for help and doctors will place upon a person Woe! took the only remedy she could think without knowing the legitimacy of your of… suicide; a gunshot to the head. complaint was unbearable when --- Craig Clifford, baylist.com leaving the E.R. This makes no sense to