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Investigating Radical Contradictions of Original Lovemaps: Therapeutic Implications

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Investigating Radical Contradictions of Original Lovemaps: Therapeutic Implications INVESTIGATING RADICAL CONTRADICTIONS OF ORIGINAL LOVEMAPS: THERAPEUTIC IMPLICATIONS by TRACY MELANIE LAKE submitted in accordance with the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF LITERATURE AND PHILOSOPHY in the subject PSYCHOLOGY at the UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH AFRICA PROMOTER: DR I FERNS AUGUST 2006 ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I extend my deepest thanks and appreciation to the following people, each one instrumental, in his or her own way, for making this project richer. Dr Ilse Ferns, again, my promoter and guide. For your valuable recognition and encouragement, and your special belief in that which I envisioned. My friend, fellow psychotherapist, and researcher, Leanne. For ideas shared, hatched, and reared in a spirit of honesty and ongoing self-inquiry. Let this always be so. To my ‘critical crew’, Johan Roelofse, Michelle Grönum, Jutta Eggers and Casper Human. Critics on request, colleagues at one time, peers always. To Terence Denton. For having spontaneously refined your own understanding of these ideas, long before I would find them, and for being so willing to share. The seven people who shared with me their memories, experiences, and reflections of loves lived, lost, and longed for. Your stories, meanings, and answers have been added to mine. Years of psychotherapy practice at university, state, and military hospitals developed the author’s interest in the presentation of love relationship problems. Mood and anxiety disorders, as the most prevalent pathologies, were often co-morbid with or secondary to partner relationship issues. Most vexing for clients was a situation of repeated dysfunctional partner selections in which similar problems arose each time. This incubated the idea of a process, probably outside of awareness, that functioned to perpetuate self-defeating partner selection patterns. The author was introduced to Money’s ‘lovemap’ concept during studies and identified readily with its principles and mechanisms. The lovemap is defined as a highly individualised, developed, mental template or cognitive blueprint of the ideal lover. It is assumed that every person has a lovemap, and would be able to describe it if asked the right questions. The concept promised to be a useful vehicle for studying self-defeating partner selection patterns, as ‘errors’ might be coded into the lovemap that are expressed in such a presentation. The author identified the need to ground the lovemap concept in recognised psychological theory in order to motivate for its relevance. Kelly’s theory of cognitive constructs provided robust links for lovemap as a sophisticated construction system, and the developmental theories of Freud and Erikson situated lovemap genesis within recognised periods of emerging human capacities to love and relate sexually; the stages of puberty to young adulthood. Lovemaps are assumed to function optimally when love and lust co-operate in pairbonding, or the capacity to couple. Extensive literature reviews cover the research fields of romantic love, human sexuality, and pairbonding, affording hypotheses as to lovemap pathology. A qualitative, Phenomenological research design of case studies with six adult persons, who had experienced radical contradictions of original lovemaps, identified when and how lovemap change took place. Thematic analysis of the attributions for change distilled a number of implications for therapy that would encourage certain indicated change processes. An integrative psychotherapy model recognises the cognitively- and socially constructed nature of lovemaps and proposes intervention components that blend cognitive- behavioural and narrative approaches. This model will be tested extensively with a suitable client population. Lovemaps; Pairbonding; Self-defeating lovemaps; Integrative psychotherapy; Cognitive constructs; Psychological development; Romantic love; Ideal lover; Partner preferences; Human mate selection; Phenomenological research; Role Repertory Grid Test TABLE OF CONTENTS Page number 1. INTRODUCTION....................................................................................................................... 1 1.1 A study of self-defeating lovemaps .................................................................................. 1 1.2 John Money’s contributions.............................................................................................. 2 1.3 A thesis of literature and philosophy ................................................................................ 3 1.4 Grounding theories for lovemap....................................................................................... 4 1.5 The scope of literature related to lovemaps ..................................................................... 5 1.6 Theoretical and methodological approaches.................................................................... 6 1.7 Rationale of the study ...................................................................................................... 7 1.8 Suggesting implications for psychotherapy...................................................................... 7 2. LOVEMAP AS DEVELOPED COGNITIVE CONSTRUCT........................................................ 9 2.1 Introduction…………………….......................................................................................... 9 2.2 The lovemap concept……….. .......................................................................................... 13 2.2.1 Introduction……………......................................................................................... 13 2.2.2 John Money…………............................................................................................ 14 2.2.3 The origins of lovemap ......................................................................................... 14 2.2.4 The universality of lovemap.................................................................................. 17 2.2.5 Defining lovemap……........................................................................................... 18 2.2.6 Lovemap development ......................................................................................... 19 Denton’s cone ……………….. .......................................................................................... 21 2.2.7 Human sexuoerotic phases.................................................................................. 24 2.2.8 Assortative mating……......................................................................................... 24 2.2.9 Lovemap distinctiveness ...................................................................................... 25 2.2.10 Lovemap pathology…........................................................................................... 27 Anderson’s story………………......................................................................................... 29 2.2.11 Love and lust in pairbonding................................................................................. 29 2.2.12 Self-defeating lovemaps....................................................................................... 30 A journalist’s exposé………….......................................................................................... 31 2.2.13 Aetiology of self-defeating lovemaps.................................................................... 32 My heart belongs to daddy….. ......................................................................................... 34 2.2.14 Conclusion……………………............................................................................... 34 2.3 Cognitive constructs…………........................................................................................... 36 2.3.1 Cognitive psychology............................................................................................ 36 TABLE OF CONTENTS (Continued) Page number 2.3.2 Construct-like notions.......................................................................................... 37 2.3.3 George Kelly........................................................................................................ 38 2.3.4 The theory........................................................................................................... 39 2.3.5 The view of man underlying the theory................................................................ 40 2.3.6 Man as scientist................................................................................................... 41 2.3.7 Cognitively constructed personalities .................................................................. 42 2.3.8 Cognitive constructs............................................................................................ 43 2.3.9 Attributes of constructs........................................................................................ 45 2.3.10 Construct development........................................................................................ 46 2.3.11 Use of constructs................................................................................................. 47 2.3.12 Psychopathology................................................................................................. 49 2.3.13 Psychotherapy..................................................................................................... 50 2.3.14 Role repertory grid test........................................................................................ 51 2.3.15 Lovemap as a cognitive construct ....................................................................... 52 2.4 Psychological development............................................................................................
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