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_ T1 £-10 EsrtSs T 2 m *7 looked at the plastic spiders, cockroaches and frogs, and I thought of you, Mavisi" Derek, CORONATION STREET EDITOR: MICHAEL LAMB TECHNICAL EDITOR: CORNELIUS (DON'T GIVE UP YOUR DAYJOB) Craccum 15,11th July, 1989. STONE ADVERTISING MANAGER: ANITA (WHAT?) ANDRELL PROCESS CAMERA AND PIZZA ADVICE: JASON SCHULZ AND C O LO N EL KLINK AM AZON COORDINATOR: TRACEY AITKEN DISTRIBUTION: JULIAN (THE HIT SQUAD) LA VALETTA TYPESETTER: NGAWAI (BOTHER) SIMPSON PHIL GOFF CERTAINLY HAS SOME CURIOUS GRUDGE AGAINST STAFF WRITER: PETER (MEGAMOUTH) MALC0UR0NNE NOT ONLY STUDENTS BUT STUDENT ASSOCIATIONS. APPARENT­ WELLINGTON OFFICE: ANTONIOS PAPASPIR0P0UL0S LY HE’S INCREDULOUS THAT THE SUCH ‘CREDIBLE’INSTITU­ GUEST: MIRIAM DE (CAUTIOUS) GRAAF TIONS AS BANKS CAN SUP WITH SUCH ‘INCREDIBLE’ OUTFITS AS STUDENT’S ASSOCIATIONS, AND ACTUALLY UNITE TO DISRUPT NURTURING: BRUCIES 24 HR CAFE GOVERNMENT PLANS TO IMPLEMENT USER PAYS EDUCATION. PRINTING: TE AWAMUTU (FINN COUNTRY) COURIER CONSIDERING THAT NATIONAL POLITICS IS BORN AND BREED IN 'TOONS: ROGER LANGRDIDGE (KNUCKLES) ANDREW STUDENT POLITICS, THIS ATTITUDE WOULD SEEM TO REFLECT LANGRIDGE (GUMP) ST. (FAMILY OF SEX) BACK BADLY ON THE EDUCATION WHIPPING BOY. PERHAPS HE MIRIAM HARRIS, ANN COM M ONS. WAS BEATEN UP A LOT BY PREFECTS IN THE SEVENTH FORM, OR HIS GIRLFRIEND RAN OFF WITH A STUDENT POLITICIAN WHEN SPECIAL GUESTS: KIRSTY, SHAYNE AND MEMBERS OF THE FIRST HE WAS AT UNIVERSITY. BEATS ME. EDITION. THANKS TO ROBERT AT CAMPUS RADIO BFM (HOME OF THE OTHER EVENT THAT MANAGED TO PENETRATE MY OVER­ THE LOVEY DOVEY KISSY KISSY MUSHY SHOW) FOR THE TOP TEN, TAXED BRAIN WAS THE ADVENT OF TELEVISION COMMERCIALS ON SUNDAYS. IF THAT’S NOT A BREACH OF CIVIL RIGHTS, THEN LIFE IN NEW ZEALAND REALLY IS GOING DOWN THE GURGLER. THE MINISTER OF BROADCASTING SHOULD BE PAN FRIED IN HIS OWN SWEAT FOR EVER ALLOWING SUCH A DIABOLICAL INTRU­ SION INTO THE JOYS OF A SUNDAY NIGHT IN FRONT OF THE BOX. IT’S QUITE SIMPLY INTOLERABLE. BESIDES, YOU CAN’T RUSH OUT LETTERS......................................................... 3/4 AND BUY A HONDA PRELUDE AT 10PM ON A SUNDAY NIGHT EVEN PRESIDENT'S REPORT...................................4 IF YOU WANT TO. PO LITIC S.............................. 5 MEANTIME CRACCUM HAS SURVIVED RECENT EVENTS CLOSER TO HOME, AND IS BUSY REFORMATTING ITSELF AND GENERALLY CHINA FEATURE......................................... 6/7 PRISSING AND PREENING AND MESSING AROUND WITH NEW AMAZONS..................................................... 7/8 IDEAS. IF YOU WANT TO JOIN IN THE FUN-WRITING, LAYING POETRY........................................................... 10 OUT, HELPING US DRINK THE INCOMING CLARET, GET YOUR ASS UP HERE PRONTO. LIKE A HANDFUL OF RABID OLD VAMPIRES, ELAM............................................................... 11 WE ’RE ALWAYS HANGING OUT FOR NEW BLOOD ♦ .. TANGATA WHENUA ............................... 12/13 /VI‘ L« SPORT.............................................................14 THEATRE FEATURE....................................... 15 ENTERTAINMENT..................................... 16-19 UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE...........................20 KNUCKLES..................................................... 21 NOTICES.............................................. 23 STAR WARS BFM BITES BACK Dear Craccum MOULD ON SEX Dear Craccum In reference to the [previous] Dear Cornelius/Craccum, Your film page looks great, editor’s comments regarding I don’t understand your but I must take issue with the ‘Star Art’ in the June 20th ‘Family Of Sex’ cartoons. To derogatory comments made issue, we would like to correct me they seem completely inane, about BFM and Siesta. If your the following false statements. pointless, and make as much reviewer (and those forty 1/ “He (the owner o f Star Art) sense as something that makes A matter of some concern to the University others) can’t get their arses over at the moment is one of student numbers The Editor, allowed some artist’s to use no sense at all. and available space. The total student enrol- to the Bridgeway in time for premises of his as free studio I don’t know what you’re ( ment of Auckland University this year is 1 5 May I through your letters-to-the- the movie then I don’t give a space” talking about, but I don’t wan­ 800, up 1400 on the student roll for 1988. fuck if they miss out. Five na know if you are lonely and This increase is the equivalent to the whole editors column first congratulate population of a reasonable secondary school. minutes before the film was hardly getting over it. your erstwhile team on producing a This is obvious nonsense This increased roll will carry through as the due to start 88 people had because Star Art and the Maybe the subtlety of what students go onto Stage II and Stage III. In fine number of “CRACCUMs” this taken their seats. Lots more you’re saying is To far Down, the normal course of events similar increases year - some of which have come into studio’s mentioned are two should be expected over the forthcoming were in the lobby —I shouted separate entities. The patron for myself and the other 15,000 years. Of course, we have no idea what ef­ my possession via the Government loudly for those with passes to from whom we rent studio of us at Auck. Uni. Your car­ fect the loans scheme will have on enrolment Printing Office - what a brilliant take their seats because the space, is not and never has toons are anything but crystal figures when/if it is introduced. The Depart­ place to pick up copies! ment of Statistics has produced projections Bridgeway was about to start been the owner of Star Art. clear, I don’t know for sure of student numbers, using a high scenario selling tickets to fill those emp­ what you’re saying. You’re ob­ and a low scenario. The figures for this year However 1 write about a rather The only formal connection ty seats. I don’t like the between Star Art and the viously in your own private indicate that trends are following the high serious subject given the shake-out at projection. Therefore we can expect a stu­ Bridgeway doing that but I studios, is that the real owner plane, but keep hanging on. the Beehive these days - and that’s dent roll of approximately 21 500 at can’t expect them to leave half rents studio space there on the The Wit and Wisdom may yet Auckland University in 1993. This is almost about the subject of a terrible omen the theatre empty waiting for same basis as the rest of us. come in the new day rising. If double the number of students that the University facilities are designed to cope - tertiary students beng charged for pass winners to toddle in (the 2/ "W ithout notice he I told you I wanted the answers pass did say 7pm sharp). A with. The Students' Association facilities their education before they graduate. allegedly began to charge to your cartoons printed upside were designed for a roll of 7500. The warning perhaps for BFM — Recreation Centre was planned for about 11 rental once they were down on the back page of each 000 and the Library is well stretched, only We are backward as an educated na­ claim your prize early or miss established there ." Craccum would you be offend­ out! having the facilities to support approximately tion. Let my qualify that severe state­ The studios were originally set ed. If you don’t I’m never talk­ 10 500 students. At the moment a large ment before many rush for their pens Nick D’Angelo. up on the basis that in return ing to you again. For number of courses at Auckland University are something as bad as F of S to restricted in entry, but there are some left to challenge my remarks... PS: I have told the Bridgeway for studio space, the artists that are completely open. The University b[sic] printed every week that we can’t do anymore would gift a work or works to believes that if they are to maintain teaching makes[sic] me to believe we standards even more restrictions will need to Compare studies made of in­ movie previews if they are go­ the patron’s collection. Because must be in a masochistic world, be in place next year. The University is not dustrialised nations show a leap in the ing to also sell tickets. It seems of the slightly ambiguous it’s not funny anymore. getting the funding from Government to requirment to be well educated BFM has a 90% turnout rate nature of this arrangement, it employ more staff to cope with the increased was deemed necessary to for­ Yours sincerely Bob Mould enrolments. Even if they did, they don't have among the masses, and the desire to compared to 25% for other malise it in some way. As from PS: Please don’t flip your wig, the physical space in which to accommodate assimilate useful, knowledgeable in­ radio stations. them. Again no money looks likely to fund May this year, the artists pay write a reply. PPS: All this I’ve formation of high-tech processes; badly needed new buildings. Again, if these GOD'S SPIT a nominal rental which the done for you. problems could be overcome, the support equipment used in such uses, added My dear mortals, patron then uses to purchase facilities (eg. Library) could not cope with the to skills that people can adapt to in extra demand. Another feature of the In my omnipresent wander­ work from the resident artists. Cornelius replies: You said it in statistics available is that the percentage of their working lifetime. We, as a na­ ings through your unholy pit of This set up was discussed and your first sentence. You object all University students in New Zealand who tion lag behind these countries.

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