RETIRE NAMES, NOT NUMBERS

What links Johann Cruyff, Henrik Larsson and Roberto Baggio? That’s right: they’ve all had shirt numbers retired as a tribute to them. Ajax retired Cruyff’s no. 14, unsurprisingly, as the club where he won three European Cups in a row; Larsson also unsurprisingly at Helsingborg where his first spell saw him hit 50 goals in 56 games (some defending in Sweden, then!); more surprisingly is the club who retired Baggio’s no.10 in Italy. Fiorentina where he made his name – with 39 goals in 94 apps – and debuted for gli Azzurri? No. Juventus, where he played the bulk of his career (141 games, 78 goals which is an incredible figure in Italian football)? Nope. Brescia, where he finished his career, admittedly with 45 goals in 95 games? Yes. Slightly odd.

Some players have been fully respected by this growing ‘tradition’: Marc Vivien-Foé had a number retired at two clubs (no. 23 at Man City, for whom he poignantly scored the last ever goal at Maine Road, and no. 17 at Lens,) after his passing away on the field of play from a heart attack during a match for his native Cameroon v Colombia; Swansea did the same posthumously with the no. 40 for the Albanian Besian Idrizaj, who also suffered a heart attack at the end of the season, after only 3 appearances under Paolo Sousa (yet, none of his other clubs did; Marc Vivien Foé’s former club, Lyon, did and then didn’t – his no. 17 came back in to use in 2008, five years after his death); and Lebanese Nejmah Sporting Club put to bed a couple of players’ shirt numbers (Hussein Dokmak and Hussein Naeem) who were killed in terrorist attacks in 2007.

In an alternate version of this honouring of a player, some clubs retire a number for a while – Exeter City retired striker Adam Stansfield’s no. 9 for nine seasons after he died of cancer in 2010; AC Milan have retired Paolo Maldini’s no. 3 with the add-on clause that either of his sons can wear it should they make the first team (no such agreement with Franco Baresi, whose no.6 shirt is not reserved for his offspring); and Livorno, who retired Igor Protti’s no.10 shirt in 2005. Protti, who had captained his team to promotions from Serie C1 to Serie A – the latter their first season in the Italian top flight in 55 years, scoring 52 goals with Cristiano Lucarelli – then declared a few months down the line he’d like that “younger players could dream of [wearing] the number”. Back in to play it came and has been used ever since,

Occasionally, or even more often than that maybe, clubs or Football Associations have just done the seemingly bonkers: Roma retired Aldair’s no.6 after his 13 years with the club, then a different president decided to unretired it ten years later (with the Brazilian’s ok); in 2000 la Liga de Fútbol Profesional (LFP) allowed Oviedo to circumnavigate their rules and retire the no. 10 of Slovak Peter Dubovsky for one season (the forward had left Real Madrid with the exciting emergence of a 17 year-old Raúl [who himself had the no.7 retired at Schalke], but only managed 17 goals in 120 games for the Asturians, he died after falling whilst on holiday aged 28), only for the Real Federación Española de Fútbol (Royal Spanish Football Federation) to then refuse Sevilla according the same honour to one-club man Antonio Puerta - who died on the pitch during La Liga’s opening fixture 0f 2007-08, stating that ‘clubs must use number 1 to 25 for their regular squad’; FC Köln have not fully retired Lukas Podolski’s no.10, however it won't be re-issued as long as he’s playing football on a professional level. Let’s hope he doesn’t do a Kevin Prince-Boateng, coming in and out of (international) retirement willy-nilly as he feels like it, or else there could be some embarrassed number 10s.

And then there’s the AFA, the Argentine FA. They tried to retire Diego Maradona’s no.10 in 2002 before the Japan/Korea World Cup, entering their squad list from 1-23 without a no.10. FIFA threw the list back in their face, Sepp Blatter minded

to tell them to give the shirt number to third choice keeper Roberto Bonano, adding the broadside: “This time Argentina’s no. 10 would be able to use his hands.” Ariel Ortega received the shirt as the AFA backed down, despite their press officer Coc Ventura (yes, Coc Ventura. Ace’s brother) trying to save face: “Blatter does not have the authority to decide which player uses which number. That’s down to the AFA.”

At the City there has been talk mooted for a while of retiring the number 8 (current incumbent Wade Elliott) to respect the Ashton Gate Eight who saved our club in 1982 after disastrous financial decisions nearly put us out of existence. There is a plaque on the back of the Atyeo Stand and there was a tea party and a magazine a couple of years ago to celebrate one of the anniversaries, but nothing ‘proper’, conspicuous and lasting has been done to mark this moment in our history. Taking a leaf out of Exeter City’s book, retiring the number for eight years would seem appropriate.

But this is one of the few occasions when retiring a number does seem apposite and meet, as it does for a player who has lost his life, or spent their entire career at one club, especially in this day and age.

But what seems almost equally appropriate is to retire names, not numbers. During a bit of research for an article about Brazil’s squad for this year’s World Cup, the opportunity arose to look at a few google images of the much loved Falcao. He of the neck-vein-bulging, curly haired 1982 maestro variety. Yet up popped images of Radamel Falcao (Monaco, Colombia) in amongst the ones required. Boo.

Worse was to follow: a search for Socrates threw up the bearded Brazilian smoker – good – but also Sokratis who plays for Borussia Dortmund and, as his surname Papastathopoulos can’t fit on his shirt, he borrows the Brazilian legend’s name (bit far-fetched that, as a reason: gimme his shirt, I’ll make it fit!); for Eder there are not one but two currently playing (Braga and Sampdoria); Zico has been not just the best player to never win a World Cup for Brazil, but also a footballer from Indonesia, Bermuda and Liberia.

There are even several Peles, ffs, from Portugal/Cape Verde/Guinea-Bissau.

Sure, some of these are names used in honour of the original and great, but not all of them. The fact that four of Brazil’s inimitable 1982 midfield – Zico, Falcao, Socrates and Eder – have all been duplicated somewhere else on the planet is plainly not right. And why didn’t someone decide to call themselves Cerezo? (the fifth member of Brazil’s 82 midfield).

This does seem to be a trait peculiar to Brazilian names, too: there are no other Maradonas or Cruyffs (apart from their sons, legitimate or otherwise!), we see no di Stefano or Platini named after their forebears. The nickname is, of course, key but it appears the crop of 82 are more prone to this than earlier generations – no Vava or Didi or Zito or Clodoaldo appear in modern football. Not according to google, any road, so it must be true.

Names on shirts and the growing trend of informal and nick-names is a bugbear of many a football fan, and not just old and fusty ones who preferred things before names on shirts became common (here in the UK –and indeed Europe as we were the first to do this – for the League Cup final of Sheff Wed v Arsenal in 1993). At the risk of sounding rather stiff upper-lipped and 1930s, if names are to be used, and there is no going back on this now, then everyone should abide by the simple rule of using the family name from their passport.

And if the Brazilians want to keep using shorter names ‘because their names are too long’ (funny, this chap managed to get quite a long one to fit, so Brazilian and Portuguese naming custom of using first or maternal names and second or paternal names shouldn’t cause any worse problems), then ok.

But once a nickname is taken, especially one of a legend like Falcao or Zico or Eder or Socrates, then that’s it.

Sorry, find yourself another one: this one’s retired.

(It might also be suggested that Fred, Hank Hulk, Bernard, Jo, Oscar, Sideshow Bob Luiz etc etc just all change their names after that drubbing. And their appearance while they’re about it. Dear oh dear.)