101425 Overseas Hwy. • PMB #628 • Key Largo, FL 33037 • 305-304-2837 • www.theconchtelegraph.com • May 2018 Inside:

Attractions Colorful Shopping in Tavernier Mac Arnold at Bayside Grille in May

What’s Hot & What’s Not Entertainer of the Month: Lee Sharp Maps Key Largo Locator Map Page Getting from Here to There in the Keys

All the Buzz Dawn Wiggins, Ed. S. Daily OM Coco-Nut Funnies Conch Characters Business in the Keys The Mangrove Galley

So much fun! The amazing Igor and the Red Elvises return to the Keys in May - catch them at Gilbert’s for BLUESFESTone night only on May 18th, 7-11pm. Photo courtesy of Julie Delisle Photography. May 10-11-12: Mac Arnold & Plate Full of Blues “Corn Bread & Collard Greens Festival” Old-school blues, soul and funk; he’s toured and recorded with Muddy Waters ON THE BEACH • MM 99.5 BAYSIDE band, Otis KEY LARGO • 305-451-3380 Redding & Live Music • Happy Hour • Sunset B.B. King. World class entertainers, in Key Largo on the beach. It doesn’t get any better than this! Check the calendar at keylargo-baysidegrill.com for all of our live music on the beach. 2 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 3

Largest Tiki Bar in the Keys! Coconut Telegraph Cast of Characters: The Conch Republic 305.304.2837 www.TheConchTelegraph.com 107900 Overseas Hwy Farewell Bobbe Brown May 2018 COCONUT TELEGRAPH [email protected] www.gilbertsresort.com Independently Owned Local Newspaper Volume 12 Issue #140 Editor/Sales/Distribution 305-451-1133 Prestige Publishing, Inc Denise Malefyt 101425 Overseas Hwy., PMB #628 Key Largo, Florida Keys 33037 101425 Overseas Highway 305-304-2837 PMB #628 [email protected] SATURDAYS THIS MONTH: Key Largo, FL 33037 Articles Cornbread and Collard Greens Festival at Bayside Grille...... 5 Advertising Production Deadline Around Town...... 8 for the Sue Beal Special Events at Gilbert’s Resort this Month...... 9 Coconut Telegraph’s 305-451-4601 Entertainer of the Month: Lee Sharp...... 11 Saturday, May 5 Saturday, May 5 Saturday, May 12 Bobbe Brown played his last Friday afternoon gig next issue is at Gilbert's Resort in April. We all wish him the Bobbe says goodbye to Kim, beal_s @bellsouth.net Getting from Here to There - Keys Map Page...... 12-13 UNCLE SMOKEY FACE 2 FACE SILVER SPINE best up North with his family. a bartender from Gilbert's. Thursday, 1-5 PM 7-11 PM 1-5 PM Colorful Shopping in Tavernier...... 14 May 17, 2018 Conch Characters...... 15 Contact Denise at Notice: We do not mail out Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet...... 16 the Coconut Telegraph and 305-304-2837 Sounds of the Keys...... 17 we do not sell subscriptions. [email protected] Coco“Nut” Funnies...... 18-19 Saturday, May 12 Saturday, May 19 Saturday, May 19 Thanks It is available for f r e e o n l i n e a t Key Largo Locator Map Page...... 20 MAIN STREET UNCLE SMOKEY THE FLYERS for all www.theconchtelegraph.com. BAND 7-11 PM 1-5 PM 7-11 PM Mangrove Galley: South of the Border Beef...... 22 the good For comments please visit The Living Dockside by Ginny Jones...... 22 times Conch Telegraph on Facebook. Hidden Strength by Dawn Wiggins, Ed. S...... 22 and Business in the Keys...... 23 great Saturday, May 26 Saturday, May 26 music! MICHAEL TRIXX Some of the Gilbert's Resort staff saying goodbye to Keys SPANK THE BAND STEREOTOMY IS BACK! legend Bobbe Brown. Best of luck to one of our own! Pictures courtesy of Rob LeBrun. per are “Coconut Telegraph 12. FISHING - Stop by 1-5 PM 7-11 PM • 80s Night! 8pm • SATURDAYS Editorial: For Tourists only Approved”. If it is not in the Visitor Center at MM this newspaper, we don’t go 106 for info on how you can Stop right now. If you 3. EXPLORE. Key Largo there so why should you? catch a big one. have just picked this news- is the diving capital of the 6. SHOPPING - Look- 13. HOTELS - The Visi- Salvation Army Family Store MM 99 Bayside SHOP • DONATE paper up at a local visitor world because we have the ing for gifts or souvenirs? tor Center gets daily dis- Key Largo center and have not de- Coral Reef State Park. In Shell World is the larg- counts and save you pre- cided what you want to order to see it you need to est and nicest store in the cious time to enjoy more of do, turn around , go back get on a boat. Your choices Upper Keys. They have 2 your vacation. We always in the visitor center and are scuba diving, snorkeling, locations. 106040 Overseas recommend Gilbert’s Re- book a room in the Upper glass bottom boat cruises. Hwy or 97600 Overseas sort because of the freshly Keys. Why? Here is a list of The visitor center can help Hwy. renovated clean rooms, 8 am - 10 pm daily. things to see and do. you with that too. 8. FAMOUS SUNSET - great food, entertainment, 4. WILDLIFE - The Flor- Pick any restaurant on the and tiki bar on the water. 1. EAT at any of the fine ida Keys Wild Bird Center bayside or take a cruise. 14. DIVING - Key Largo restaurants listed in this is FREE and open from 6:30 9. ART - Check out the is the Diving Capital of the newspaper. The freshest am to 8:30 pm. There are Morada Way Arts District World! The Visitor Centers Visit the store, or call 305-872-5744 for prompt and courteous pickup and most delicious seafood. over 20 species of native in Islamorada. can book it for you. Our fishermen are working and migratory birds to see 10. BEST OCEAN 15. DOLPHINS - Dolphins hard for you and these res- up close and photograph. It VIEWS - Gilbert’s,. Jimmy Plus offer a chance you you We Stock Guitar Strings taurants are the best. is located at 93600 Over- Johnson’s Big Chill, Bayside and your family to get up- 2. PLAY. Watersports! seas Highway on the bay Grille, Blackwater Siren, close and personal with our — New & Used Guitars — Rent a wave runner, boat, side. Sundowner’s, Shipwreck’s beloved sea mammals. It is a paddle board or kayak. We 5. NIGHTLIFE - Dance and Buzzard’s Roost. truly unique experience. recommend Keys Adven- the night away and enjoy 11. BEACH - Gilbert’s 16. REAL ESTATE Custom tures Watersports 302- the areas finest musical Resort at MM 108 has a DEALS - Own a piece of Jewelry 293-7199. Guided tours talent. All the restaurants beautiful swimming beach. paradise. Now is a buyers CORAL FINANCIAL available too. and clubs in this newspa- No coolers allowed. market. Jewelry & Pawn MM102 Disclaimer Oceanside 453-5300 The Coconut Telegraph © 2006-2018 is published monthly by Prestige Publishing, INC. All Telegraph assumes in good faith that all editorial and advertising material submitted are Key Largo 305-453-4844305-453-4844 rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent of the original property of the advertiser. The Coconut Telegraph may not be held responsible the publisher. The Coconut Telegraph welcomes written articles, photos, and artwork of for errors, omissions, or for circumstances beyond our control that may affect the distribution wwwwww..kkeylaeylarrgocongoconcchhouse.comhhouse.com local interest to be used and/or edited at the discretion of the publisher. The Coconut schedule. 4 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 5

Gorgeous Mac Arnold Cornbread & Collard Greens Festival at Bayside Grille Key Largo LIVE MUSIC Sunsets Friday Nights For 3 nights in May, the tivities. Bayside Grille will be & Sons. The bass line on “The May 10, 11 and 12 legendary Mac Arnold brings featuring for lunch, dinner Streetbeater” – from Quincy his annual Cornbread & Collard and during performances on Jones' 1973 album, You've Greens Festival to Bayside the 3 days, the “Mac Arnold Got It Bad Girl – better PRIME RIB Grille in Key Largo. The Corn- Plate” with homemade corn- known as the theme song for Florida Keys Elks Lodge 2018 Officers Friday & Saturday bread & Collard Greens Festi- bread, Mac's organic collard Sanford and Son, is courtesy New officers started their new term in April, for the upcoming year at Nights val has been held at venues in greens and buttermilk fried of Mac‛s fingers. Mac now the Florida Keys Elks Lodge. Pictured from left to right: Larry McNamara, South Carolina, North Carolina chicken fingers. tours with his band, Plate Steve Randel, John Mavis, Glenn Hedges, Lisa Camerato, Sherill Tarbell, and Tennessee over the last 7 About Mac Arnold and Full of Blues, where he plays Dennis Tarbell, Jody Randel, Janet Ciccarelli, Patty Burke, Carl Mikuletzky, years. The collard greens are Plate Full of Blues: In 1965 his now-famous Gasoline Jane Ferguson, and Lee Huenniger. Officers not pictured Bill Meskel organically grown by Mac Mac had already made a Guitar, made for him by his and Paulette McNamara. Congratulations! 107690 Overseas Hwy • Key Largo • 305-780-7382 himself on his farm in Green- name for himself playing brother Leroy. In the past Take the Yacht Club Drive Exit from US1 on the Jewfish Creek Bridge ville, SC. Mac approached bass with the legendary few years, Mac received an owner of Bayside Grille, James Brown on keyboards. Honorary Doctorate Degree Most people don't know that back In 1912, HAPPY HOUR “Love the Locals” Hellmann's Mayonnaise was manufactured in 3-6pm Monday-Friday 10% Discount Robert DiGiorgio, after his At age 24 in 1966, he was in music from the University England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 Beer Starting at $2 on Regular Priced first performance there. His presented with the opportu- of South Carolina, and this jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery In Food & Drink* love for the people and the nity of a lifetime, playing in past September he was Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port $3.50 Well Drinks & House Wine *Some restrictions apply of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. 20% All Other Regular Priced Drinks* place prompted Mac to the Muddy Waters Band. inducted into the Alabama This would have been the largest single shipment Indoor Venue Available include Key Largo in the fes- Since then Mac Arnold has Blues Hall of Fame. Food Specials Starting at $6 (dine in only) for Private Parties of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. Parties, Showers, Rehearsal played with The Tempta- Bayside Grille owner Photo © Andy Sheppard ? Dinners, Birthdays, Anniversaries But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an Iceberg for 20-60 people tions, Otis Redding and BB Robert DiGiorgio has made an and sank. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were No charge for venue with minimum purchase. King. Mac Arnold went to impact on the music scene in some of Nashville‛s hottest Call for details & available dates. eagerly awaiting Its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so work with ABC Television and the Upper Keys with his mix songwriters, and now the Mac great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning. Follow us for our Exclusive FB Features! Laff Records where he co- of local musicians, along with Arnold Cornbread and Collard The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5 and is known, of course, as produced the television show producing BluesFest, featur- Greens Festival. - Sinko De Mayo. (WHAT??? You expected something educational from us? You need Find us on another shot of Tequila!) Facebook Soul Train. He also worked ing international touring blues Stop by for a great plate with Redd Foxx on Sanford bands, Key Largo Songfest, and some amazing music!

KEYS PARASAIL & WAVE RUNNERS Voted Best Happy Hour in the Keys! 4-7 Daily Key Largo Bay Marriott Beach Resort, 103800 Overseas Hwy. WEDNESDAYS: 20% LOCALS DAY www.keysparasail.com 305-731-9472 A La Carte 4 pm-10 pm WATERFRONT May 13 Brunch 11 am - 2 pm Every Sunday Bring the Family! Complimentary Mimosa, Glass of Champagne or Bloody Mary with Food and Drink Specials Jetski & Boat Eco Tours Brunch Entrée Sunset Cruises Live Daily Conch Shell Blowing Live Entertainment 4pm-8pm Stand Up Paddleboards Check out our Local’s LOCALS’ FAVORITE Happy Hour 4pm-7pm Boat Rentals Loyalty Program: Get your Taylor King Band Bayside Grill: Keyribbean Kooking & Kocktails open 11:30am-10pm • www.keylargo-baysidegrill.com Treat Mom! Pilot’s License Every Saturday Night Keys Adventures today! Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill, 104000 Overseas Highway BestBest LiveLive MusicMusic ScheduleSchedule inin KeyKey LargoLargo www.keysadventureswatersports.com Entertainment calendar at keylargo-baysidegrill.com 13 Seagate Blvd., Key Largo, MM 99.6, 305-451-3142

305-731-9472 305-451-3380 • MM 99.5 Bayside, behind Cafe Largo www.pilothousemarina.com fb.com/pilothousekeylargo 6 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 7

Texting with Mom — it‛s always special to hear from her. Hurricane Preparedness Tips

Here are some things I learned pair of shoes on. Suddenly from Irma and having no battling a tree in your house power for several days. in a dress and flip flops isn't * It's hard to relax with an the best fashion choice. Finally, you've entered the digital age Josh I packed you lunch today, open flame in your home and got a smartphone! * Bring a saw in the house if it's in the fridge (especially if you have pets you can. You may need it to Sun - Fun - Music or small children) -- get a How is it? Thanks ma get out. Great Times • Great Food battery-powered fluorescent * Charge everything you own. I came across this poem that my Mum? You are welcome. or LED light source if you can. May 17-20 LIVE REMOTE: FRIDAY 6 8 PM Everything! Cell, tablets, mother and grandmother used to * A cooler with wheels is great Do not shake your dick or i-pods, speakers & don't recite when I was a child and in Hellooooo... to pack things in if you need it will explode everywhere forget your toothbrush and to leave or walk to the store • Fabulous waterfront locations Thunder Country & Dougie Hitchcock honor of Mother's Day I thought Why arent you answering? makeup. you might enjoy it. Sweet memories. I mean, your drink! It is for ice. Howdoyoudoaspace? very carbonated * Get some bug spray. You Festival Finale * It's sometimes hard to find • Multiple venues & stages at the may be doing yard work or things in a semi dark house -- "ME MUDDER" Lol. Ok mom I wont. dealing with a broken put things you think you'll window. • Music of all genres, for all ages & tastes need in a central location. When me prayers were poorly said * Get some spray anti itch BEACH BBQ * If you don't have lanterns or with Who tucked me in me widdle bed medicine to deal with the • Hit singer songwriters can't find them, remember CHEF DREW above bug bites. And spanked me till me arse was red meh. still feel like crap :( you can bring the solar and bands from Nashville, * Baby powder helps you not Sunday ... ME MUDDER I got an A in Chem! landscape lights inside at have u tried taking some dicks? night. stick to the sheets when it is Georgia, Louisiana, Texas May 20 WTF, well done! 200 degrees. * Oreos and beer sound like a 2-10 pm Who took me from me cozy cot OMG VICKS!!! HAVE YOU and Florida. Mom, what do you think great idea until about day 3. * A cold shower is a wonderful TAKEN SOME VICKS!!!! WTF means? And put me on the ice cold pot Get some real, nourishing thing. FREE ENTRY And made me pee when I could not omg mom! Well That's Fantastic food. * Battery operated fans are a * Boil up some pasta, toss with life saver. ME MUDDER LMFAO-ing rite now ^.^ olive oil & store in a zip lock. * Put your small pets in a crate Then if the power goes out or carrier. Make sure they And when the morning light would come yea yea just dont tell your father about this. you can add whatever have ID, collars, food, water, And in me crib me dribbled some veggies, meat & cheese you treats and leashes. THURSDAY: SATURDAY: 4 STAGES Who wiped me tiny widdle bum, Dad and i fondled ourselves find in the fridge & salad * Get cash. The stores may Sundowners – from 6:00 pm Breezers at the Marriott - from 2:00 pm for the first time last night dressing & everyone can ME MUDDER Dad open without power and Cactus Jack’s - from 9:30 pm Sundowners – from 6:00 pm make their own pasta salads. there will be no ATMs or card We didn't get good results. FRIDAY: 3 STAGES Senor Frijoles – from 7:00 pm nothing came up. * Freeze some of your water usage. Cactus Jacks – from 10:30 pm Who would me hair so neatly part I heard mom got stung by a few bees Sundowners – from 6:30 pm bottles -- then they are both * Get some magazines or this morning. Is she ok??? Hospital??? Senor Frijoles – from 7:00 pm SUNDAY: Festival Finale on the Bay! And hug me gently to her heart LMAO mom i don't know what ice and a cold drink. books. When you have no you tried to write but thats Who sometimes squeezed me till me fart, She is okay now. No hospital. * Fill your car with gas and power, nights are approxi- Cactus Jacks – from 8 pm Caribbean Club – 2-10 pm hilarious!!! ME MUDDER have a spare carry-along mately 17 hours long. She had to take the tank in case of evacuation. deep penis. !!! Damn auto erect !!! * Buy a roll of contractor sized * Baby wipes!!! Good for trash bags, Good for both Who looked at me with eyebrows knit Uh... What? Auto Correct!!! We googled everything. cleanup & keeping things And nearly had a king size fit ourselves! No results!!! I had to inject her with an * Dress appropriately during dry. When in me Sunday pants me s_ _t , EPIC PENIS. the worst of the storm. This * Don't get drunk until AFTER ME MUDDER Oh for Christ's sake. includes having a decent the storm passes. keylargooriginalmusicfest.com Epi pen!!!!! When at night her bed did squeak Mom, stop. U are not funny. Me raised me head to have a peek You never make jokes FINANCING AVAILABLE ON 2/2 WELL-MAINTAINED MOBILE HOME Who yelled at me to "GO TO SLEEP!” I made you. Fenced for privacy. Plenty of room to park your ME FADDER RV and boats, too. Separate bedroom plan and open entertaining area. Lots of upgrades. Low down payment for first time home buyers!!

Call THE WASMUND TEAM - JANE OR WENDY

The Wasmund 305-451-7704 Team 305-451-6100 Jane or Wendy 305-451-2214

www.thewasmundteam.com [email protected] 8 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 9 Around Town Special Events at Gilbert’s Resort in May (No cover charge) sings some of the tricky Elvises Saturday May 26th 7-11pm songs. 80s Night with Stereotomy Tim Hayn sings, while play- Established in 2010, Stere- ing keyboards, trumpet, trom- otomy has become a South bone, the spoons, washboard Florida institution. No other and any other instrument Igor 80s band captures the genre throws at him. with such authenticity, raw This is a DONT MISS energy, and fun! Stereotomy show. Bring your dancing shoes, There are always impressive bikes to see at Sharkeys, always a fun place to hang! mixes high-quality entertain- Sunday May 27th 7-11pm Friday May 18th 7-11pm and be prepared to boogie! Gilbert's on the weekends. ment with rock-star style Mojo Scoundrels Igor and Red Elvises Your favorite international tour keeping audiences raging! Formed in 2005, The Mojo Fresh from a 15-city tour band is returning for a night of Stereotomy performs Scoundrels are a Miami-based Gilbert's General Manager of Canada opening for the fun songs like: Closet Disco completely live utilizing instru- cover band playing unforget- Rob LeBrun presents Suzi Reverand Horton Heat (the Dancer, I Wanna See You ments from the era without Youngberg of the American Bellydance, Twist Like Uma table favorites of the classic Cancer society with a check godfather of rockabilly and backing tracks! What you see music era of the 60s and 70s for $4,540 for Boobie drink psychobilly), Igor and Red Thurman, Strip Joint Is Closed, and hear is literally what you sales from October through to the hits of today. From Elvises are bringing their Sibe- Drinking With Jesus, Beers get! April. Gilbert's donates $1 Babes & Barbeque, and their Motown to funk, classic rock to from every drink sold, which rian Surf "Rok 'n' Rol" show to modern pop, The Mojo Scoun- would not be possible without Gilbert's Resort for a one- smash hit Bacon! your support! drels give the audience what night only show. they want and more! A pelcan waits for Igor Yuzov was born in Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill is a great place for weddings! Amoray Divers’ photo of a hammerhead on the reef. Whether it‛s the sheer joy his lunch at Gilbert’s. Germany, raised in Ukraine and of Rick James‛ Give It To Me studied in Russia. He grew up in Baby, the inspiration of Marvin the former Soviet Union, where Gaye‛s What‛s Going On or the folk music was the norm and In fact, when Stereotomy raw power of the Ike & Tina‛s rock 'n' roll was illegal. performs, you‛d swear you‛re classic Proud Mary, The Mojo A rebellious streak, how- hearing the original artist Scoundrels put themselves into ever, led him to seek out the performing the original songs the music to create an energy forbidden music. As soon as it live! In other words, you‛re audiences are calling “The Mojo became possible, Igor left getting the real deal with no lip Saturday May 19th 7-11pm Scoundrel Experience.‛ Russia for America with his syncing or play-along. You will The Flyers “Folk 'n' Roll" band Limpopo and hear favorites from: The Cars, was personally greeted by The Flyers were voted the Duran Duran, Joan Jett, The Ronald Reagan. best band of 2016 by New Bangles, Cindi Lauper, The In 1993, Limpopo won Ed Times Magazine in Broward Clash, Eurythmics, Pretenders, McMahon's Star Search and and Palm Beach Counties. The B-52s, Van Halen, The their popularity began to blos- Thats a lot of cities and a lot Go-Go's, Rick Springfield, som. Evolving over the years, of bands to compete with! Madonna, REM, Pat Benatar, Igor‛s music has been labeled Featuring lead singer and Michael Jackson, Blondie, Billy Information and more at Tropical Realty. A custom Florida Keys car A water jet pack cruises by Keys Adventure Watersports has it all! "Siberian Surf Rock” which guitar virtuoso Patrick Fari- Idol, Cheap Trick, Beastie Boys, sunshade, photo by Rob LeBrun. Gilbert's on a Sunday Funday. Located at The Big Chill. Monday May 28th 1-6pm contains humorous lyrics and nas, Jordan Richards on bass, Berlin, and the list goes on! The Jeffrey James Gang grooves that forces his audi- and Joe Beard on drums, The Sunday May 27th 12-5pm ence to dance. Flyers have been a South Long before Jeffrey James For the past few years, Florida favorite since 2004. The Regs Harris became lead singer of American Legion Post 333 - Key Largo Igor has maintained the same All three band members are Local favorites The Regs the Mr. Nice Guy band, he was multi-instrumentalists, mean- heavily involved in the South Happy Hour Prices: 4-7pm daily core group of talented LA- start your Memorial Day based musicians known as the ing you never know who is Sunday off with rock and Florida music scene fronting the Jeffrey James Gang. Now he Come Have Dinner Red Elvises. Jasmin Guevara is going to be playing what classic rock favorites from: an immensely talented drummer instrument. (They even play The Beatles, Blue Oyster Cult, sings for both bands, although Every Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday from 5-7 p.m. for only $5. Menu changes daily. who will make your jaw drop each other's instruments The Doors, AC/DC, Pink Floyd, their styles of music are differ- when she plays her 5-minute while playing their own.) You Queen, Deep Purple, Bad Com- ent. JJG plays rock, classic rock JAM NIGHT Support drum solo during "Sad Cowboy can expect to hear their pany, Blues Traveler, Pearl Jam and Southern rock, and have every Thursday versions of hit songs by The and Nirvana. Little John deliv- been entertaining crowds for our facebook.com Song." 6 to 9 pm with the Dejah Sandoval is the little Band, Jimi Hendrix, Ray ers the vocals, Scotty Migone many years. Very few bands can TAYLOR KING BAND Veterans /legionpost333 lady that plays bass guitar, the Charles, The Beatles, Led is the insane guitarist, Ricky bring the rock like them, so huge bass balalaika. (It's Zepplin, Eric Clapton, Stevie Sanders is on drums, and Joe Gilbert's will be the place to be 2 Seagate Blvd.• MM 99.6 • Key Largo • 305-451-0307 • www.legionpost333.org bigger than she is!) And she Ray Vaughn, and many others. Ojeda sings and plays bass. on Memorial Day Monday. 10 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 11

PUBLIC WELCOME! • FULL BAR • CAFE Ocean Li fe Entertainer of the Month: Lee Sharp 2018 Series Handsome." You can catch him Monday VFW POST 10211 and Thursday nights at Skipper's Dockside, and Thursdays at the HOURS: Sun - Thurs: 12 pm - 12 am • Fri & Sat: 12 pm - 2 am Pilot House from 6 to 10. He Monday: has also played at the Happy Hour 3-6pm Freedom Blackwater Siren, Ocean Show Me The $$ 6pm Reef Club, Cheeca Cafe Lodge, Casa Marina Tuesday: Daily Food Specials at the in Key West and Membership Appreciation Day Freedom Cafe!!! the Golden Rule Show Me The $$ 6pm Sun: 6 oz Sirloin Seafood Market Wednesday: Mon: Meatloaf The Ocean Life series brings renowned researchers and academics to the Keys to educate, in Cutler Bay. He entertain, and inspire audiences of all ages. Hosted by Florida International University’s plays music from the Happy Hour 3-6pm Tue: Tacos / Burritos Photo by SEDURA Lee's company is Sharps and Flats School of Environment, Arts and Society and the Friends of the Key Largo Cultural Center , 50s through today's hits. Show Me The $$ 6pm Wed: Chicken Parmesan the series features interdisciplinary experts from FIU and the Keys. This series is free and Entertainment. You can reach him open to the public. For more information, contact Linda Kaplan at [email protected] or (305) Lee Sharp is an extraordinarily talented through his website, LeeSharpMusic.com 396-7000, or visit merc. u.edu. Photo by Jerey Cale. Thursday: Thu: 6 oz Sirloin musician, singer and songwriter, and he's or call 901-314-6064. Happy Hour 3-6pm Fri: Spaghetti also a hell of a nice guy! He has been loving When he is not working, Sharp Bingo 7pm Sat: BBQ Chicken/Ribs life here in the Upper Keys for several enjoys the warm Florida weather, Friday, May 25, 2018 Friday: years now, and is originally from Memphis, fishing, and boating, and he recently Happy Hour 3-6pm Keeping Pace with Rising Seas: Saltwater Tennessee. At 14 years old he learned to even went sky diving in Key West! He Intrusion and Carbon Loss from Wetlands play the saxophone and joined the school is definitely living life to the fullest Saturday: marching band, and his talent earned him a and giving back to the community he $1 Drafts 12-7pm John Stephen Kominoski, Ph.D. full music scholarship to the University of loves.

Ladies Night 7-9pm 6:00 p.m. Meet and Greet • 7:00 p.m. Lecture Michigan. Every Monday night until July 1st Show Me The $$ 7pm MM 102.3 Murray E. Nelson Government and Cultural Center Sharp also plays keyboard and sings. Sharp will be donating all his tips to After moving to the Keys, he first played Sunday: 102050 Overseas Hwy. (MM 102) Key Largo, FL 33037 the American Cancer Society Relay Oceanside with the Dana Collins Band. He currently Bingo 2-5pm for Life in the Florida Keys. We at 102255 Overseas Hwy. also plays with Scott Youngberg, and Happy Hour 3-6pm the Coconut Telegraph applaud him! 305-451-2120 together they are called "Tall, Dark and Photo by SEDURA Go, enjoy the music, and tip!

OPEN 11:00 AM to 9:30 PM EVERY DAY

DAILY FOOD & DRINK SPECIALS Sunday - Live Music 2-6 pm FRIDAY NIGHT FISH FRY 5-9 pm MAHI ALL-U-CAN-EAT • Fried $12.99 • Blackened/Grilled $13.99 SATURDAY - PRIME RIB DINNER HAPPY HOUR: 4-6 pm EVERY DAY Bud & $ Bud Light 1 Drafts LOCALS’ FAVORITE 305-453-3153 45 Garden Cove Drive MM 106

TTaakkee tthhee SShhuuttttllee!! For those arriving to the Gilbert’s party fashionably late, you can park on the main access road and take the FREE air-conditioned shuttle to and from Gilbert's on Saturdays and Sundays from noon-8pm. 12 • The CoconutFL TelegraphATTEN • May IT!!! 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 13 KEY LARGO CHOCOLATES ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT TACOS 11.99 & ICCEE CREAREAM Fresh-Squeezed KEY LIME MARGARITAS HHANANDMAADDEE CHOCOLOLATEATES $ Key LimeLime PPieieie On a StSticicick Barbocoa, Steak, Chicken, ONLY 4 PREMIUMREMIUM IcIce CreamM MADADEE HEHERE or Carnitas Tacos… Mon-FrI FUDGE Served with all-you-can-eat 4-6pm KEY LIME PIES beans & rice, or veggies. ’s ey L argo The locals love K placace avovoriteite p Book your next event! f creamream! EVERY WEDNESDAY MM 104 • Bayside • Key Largo to come for Open to the Public • Capacity 250 • Hall Rental FREE 1 for icece c SAMPLES MM 100 /2 BAYSIDE 305-451-1592 a Margarita at sunset... Event Planning Available • Call Joyce 305-619-2259 with this ad NIGHT from 5 PM! CT 2017 www.keylargochocolates.com • 305-453-6613 senorfrijolesrestaurant.com try it and you’ll see why! PARTY FOR Kentucky Derby May 5 &

Happy Memorial Day Everyone is invited Mother's Day Ceremony to our events May 13 May 28 (not just Elks)!

BINGO LINE DANCE Sundays, 5-7 pm Mondays 5 pm

Friday Night Fish & Karaoke

Fry (6pm) (7:30pm)

For info: 305-852-1872 MM 92.6 Bayside • Tavernier

“I SURVIVED HURRICANE IRMA” TEE SHIRTS FOR SALE For information on purchasing your shirt, contact I SURVIVED our sponsors or call the Coconut Telegraph HURRICANE Hotline 305-304-2837 IRMA! Sponsored by: $4 OFF ENDLESS MIMOSA WITH PURCHASE OF BRUNCH ITEM THIS AD SEPTEMBER 10, 2017 Key Largo Chocolates & Ice Cream Denny’s Appliance Moose Lodge Florida Keys Visitor Center Law Offices of Erik S. Bloom, PA 2287 Key Largo Jimmy Johnson’s Big Chill

COC TEL Coconut Telegraph Shipwrecks VFW Post 10211 Key Largo Tropical Realty of the FL Keys Gilbert’s Resort Keys Adventures Watersports The Hideout Restaurant Pilot House Coral Financial Jewelry & Pawn 14 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 15

Shopping in Tavernier sure is Colorful! Conch Characters

Blaming Others We cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. As we begin to truly under- stand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to Donna Arrom - bartender at the VFW. Reggae Ronny and Casey bring you karaoke Colorful shopper spotted again blame for the problems in our at the VFW every Friday at 6pm. at Winn Dixie in Tavernier. lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder under the burdensome feel- how we can take responsibil- ings of shame and guilt that ity for that, and in our cur- arise. It also puts the resolu- rent relationships, the same tion of our pain in the hands question arises. of someone other than us. We all know that blaming Ultimately, we cannot insist Our photos were contributed, so we others is the opposite of that someone else take responsibility for their don‛t know his name or if he‛s a new local taking responsibility, but we or a visitor, but what fun to see this may not understand how to actions; only they can make Sweetie Pie at the Tavernier Winn-Dixie! take responsibility for things that choice when they are that we don't truly feel ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward Gilbert's servers Lorenz & Katy got married on April 20th, Janet from San José and her sister Sue Elodie and a friend, servers at the famous Fontainebleau, responsible for. and the boys celebrated by going to TopGolf in Miami. at the American Legion Jam. enjoy a day off - relaxing on the beach at Gilbert's Resort. with our lives instead of We may blame our parents waiting around for some- Your Mother is always with you. for our low self-esteem, and thing that may or may not She’s the whisper of the leaves we may blame our current happen, we begin to see the partner for exacerbating it wisdom of taking the situa- as you walk down the street, Mother with their unconscious behav- tion into our own hands. ior. Objectively, this seems She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, to make sense. After all, it is We do this by forgiving our flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself. not our fault if our parents parents, even if they have were irresponsible or unkind, not asked for our forgive- She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well, and we are not to blame for ness, so that we can be she’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day. our partner's bad behavior. free. We end the abusive relationship with our part- She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, Perhaps the problem lies with ner, who may never admit to the colors of a rainbow, she is Christmas morning. the activity of blaming. any wrongdoing, because we Whether we blame others or are willing to take responsi- Your mother lives inside your laughter. blame ourselves, there is bility for how we are She’s the place you came from, your first home, Check out the giant 8 ft. Key lime pie Bobby Stoky, helper Juan and The Key West Always a party at the American Legion. something aggressive and treated. Key Lime Pie Co. made in Atlanta. Awesome event to promote tourism in the Keys. unkind about it. It sets up a and she’s the map you follow with every step you take. In short, we love ourselves situation in which it becomes She’s your first love, your first friend, and your first enemy, difficult to move forward as we want to be loved and create the life we know we but nothing on earth can separate you. deserve. We leave the I BLAME MYSELF resolution of the wrongs Not time, not space... not even death. FOR EXPECTING MORE committed against us in the ~Unknown THAN I SHOULD HAVE, hands of the universe, FROM YOU. releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.

Reprinted from DailyOM - Inspirational thoughts for a happy, Billy from Gilbert's Resort, the best dressed security Jamie and Allison (nephew and niece of Rob leBrun) Captain Morgan babes at Sharkey's guard in the keys, keeps an eye on the resort at Disney's Magic Kingdom. Did you know Florida Lionfish tournament. healthy and fulfilling day. Register for free at www.dailyom.com from his "Eagles Nest" perch. residents can buy three-day passes for only $159? 16 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 17 FIFTY SHADES OF GREY Meet a few of the animals who are currently available for adoption at BY PAM AYRES the Key Largo Animal Shelter. If you are interested in taking one Sounds of the Keys of these adorable furry friends home, stop by or call. The Shelter is Adopt a Key Largo Animal Shelter Pet located at mile marker 106 Oceanside; phone 305-451-0088. The missus bought a Paperback, down Tavernier Town way, I had a look inside her bag; T’was “’Fifty Shades of Grey.”

Well I just left her to it. And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread.

In her left hand she held a rope; And in her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Ferdinand Astro Jane Layla Thor Well fifty years or so ago; The Outer Band at the Pilot House. Mr Nice Guy band rocks the stage at Gilbert's. I might have had a peek; Mango & Molly Merlot But Mabel hasn’t weathered well; She’s eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind Could not have been much grimmer, And things then went from bad to worse; she toppled off her Zimmer*!

She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said “I am a dominator!!” Peaches Sully Now if you knew our Mabel, You’d see just why I spluttered, I’d spent two months in traction Mischief, a new band from Broward, really did well for their Alter Ego at the Pilot House recent Gilbert's Resort debut. COCONUT For the last complaint I’d uttered. She stood there nude and naked TELEGRAPH Bent forward just a bit CLASSIFIED ADS I went to hold her, sensual like And stood on her left tit! BUYING SERVICES FOR SALE MUSICIANS CLUBS JOB OPPORTUNITY WANTED Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out; House Cleaning Fraternal Order GIRL WANTED TO WE BUY COINS ASSIST MAGICIAN My God what had I done! call Danielle Amateur & seasoned No collection too large of the Eagles in cutting-o -head illusion. She moaned and groaned and shout- 305-393-2728 musicians wanted! or too small. We pay e Keys Community meets every Blue Cross and salary. ed out,“Step on the other one!!” cash on the spot and Concert Band 1st and 3rd Monday 453-MAG-ICAN we offer private PERSONAL begins rehearsals for its new 7pm at Elks Lodge New Local Auto Repair Service: season in the fall. If you Well readers, I can tell no more; consultation in our Free pick-up and delivery. want to participate, call in Tavernier. location or yours. To the lady at Publix with Try us once, you'll never go Of what occurred that day. 305-451-4530. Call Bill 305.942.0911. her son on a leash. I'm anywhere again. Suffice to say my jet black hair, Florida Keys Orchid, Fern Turned fifty shades of grey!! sorry that I asked if he FOR SALE and Bromeliad Society meets 800-451-AUTO Buyers agent is was a rescue. the 3rd urs. of every month JOGGING PARTNER Scott Migone of the Alex Caldwell, Big Chil. Koty James and the Keybillies at Shipwrecks. buying old things. If the person who named Walkie The profanity wasnt at Key Largo Library Comm. I am looking for someone to Regs, playing a very Costume jewelry, necessary but thank you Room 7pm. Open to public. help me get in shape. I hate Talkies named everything... oversized violin at Gilbert’s. furniture, antiques for not siccing him on me. DOLL FOR SALE 305-451-3000 exercising with passion so the and anything old My daughter doesn't want it plan of action is this: I ingest Stamps = Lickie Stickie of value. anymore. Our dog will not House Numbers for Sale The Key Players, Inc. Rohypnol (you supply the Call now,leave msg. VESSEL SAFETY stop barking at it and we can I bought the wrong numbers! Community Theater Group roofies as I don't know where Defibrillator = Hearty Starty never nd it where we le it. I live at 99, not 96! needs volunteers to work to purchase them) and you Lee Sharp 305-304-2837 strap my body to yours (limbs Bumble Bees = Fuzzy Buzzy e USCG Auxiliary Doll has really unique laugh. Brand new. $5 each. behind the scenes and at the audition for roles! to limbs using velcro) and take GET CLASSIFIED conducts vessel safety checks No batteries required. 1-355-CON-FUSE Pregnancy Test = Maybe Baby Pilot House. at Blackwater Sound Marina, Go to: me along on a jog. Three nights Make Oer 305-PLEASE a week. If you're capable and $10 per col.inch per month! MM 103.8 Bayside, every Mona Lisa Painting thekeyplayers.org Bra =Breastie Nestie (generous 1.88 column width) interested, E-mail me so that third Saturday Used but very nice condition. Bold Listing $12./inch per mo. OUR ERROR we can discuss the fee. Fork = Stabby Grabby of the month. Don't know for sure if it is a TRADE MUST BE PAID IN ADVANCE Due to a typing error, lat month’s copy. $150 is my bottom dollar. Socks = Feetie Heatie e Public is Welcome. FOR SALE Classied Display Space $15/inch. story on local musicians, we Text me at 315-mona-lisa 200 USED PLAYBOY Drop off your ad and payment at mistakenly reported that band Nordic Track, $300. Hippo = Floatie Bloatie More info: 305-998-8400 American Legion Thursday night Jam! The UPS STORE member Eric Lyday was on drugs. ‘96 HONDA CIVIC MAGAZINES Hardly used. Call Chubby. 101425 Overseas Highway, Classified ads will not be e story should have read that AM/FM/CD, low miles, good Nightmare = Screamy Dreamy Gigi King sings lead with an all-star band - Next to Publix at Tradewinds Will trade for guns. Tony, Dale, JC, Jeff, John, Arno and Toh. accepted without payment. Lyday was on drums. e Coconut condition. Speaks Spanish. WANTED TO BUY Questions? Call 305•304•2837. Telegraph regrets the error. $3500. 355-PORFAVOR 325-PLA-YBOY Used paint. Text Bobby. *A Zimmer is a brand of orthopedic walker 18 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 19

Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned badly. The Coco‘Nut’ Funnies morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent A Florida Highway Patrol officer A Knock on the Door for his two best deer hunting stops a Harley for traveling faster Wednesday morning the weather friends, Cooter and Gomer. The than the posted speed limit, and three men had always hunted and he asks the biker his name. was too bad to play golf. fished together and were long ‘Fred,’ he replies. I was bored with nothing to do. time members of a hunting camp. Suddenly there was a knock on the A priest and a rabbi were sitting ‘Fred what?’ the officer asks. door. next to each other on an airplane. Cooter arrived first, and when ‘Just Fred,’ the man responds. the mortician pulled back the I opened it to find a young, well After a while, the priest turned sheet, Cooter said, “Yup, his face The officer is in a good mood, dressed man standing there who to the rabbi and asked, Is it still a is burned up pretty bad. You bet- thinks he might just give the biker a said: “Hello sir, I’m a Jehovah’s Wit- requirement of your faith that you ter roll him over.” The mortician break, and write him out a warn- ness.” rolled him over and Cooter said, ing instead of a ticket. The officer not eat pork? “Nope, ain’t Stanley .” then presses him again for the last So I said, “Come in and sit down.” The rabbi responded, Yes, that is name. The mortician thought this was I offered him a fresh cup of coffee still one of our laws. The man tells him that he used to and asked, “What do you want to rather strange, So he brought have a last name but lost it. talk about?” The priest then asked, Have you Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the ever eaten pork? The officer thinks that he has a nut He said, “Beats me.. Nobody’s ever body and said, ‘Yup, he’s pretty case on his hands but plays along let me in before.” with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you To which the rabbi replied,Yes, well burnt up. Roll him over.” The lose your last name?’ on one occasion I did succumb mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Stanley.” The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, to temptation and tasted a ham so stay with me.’ I was born Fred sandwich. The mortician asked, “How can Johnson. I studied hard and got you tell?” good grades. When I got older, The priest nodded in understand- I realized that I wanted to be a ing and went on with his reading. Gomer said, “Well, Stanley had doctor. I went through college, two ass-holes.” medical school, internship, resi- A while later, the rabbi spoke up dency, and finally got my degree, and asked the priest, “Father, is it “What! He had two ass-holes?” so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After still a requirement of your church asked the mortician. a while I got bored being a doc- that you remain celibate?” tor, so I decided to go back to ‘Yup, we never seen ‘em, but everybody used to say, there’s school. Dentistry was my dream! The priest replied, “Yes, that is still Got all the way through school, Stanley with them two ass- got my degree, so then I was Fred very much a part of our faith” holes.” Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored A policeman was rushed to doing dentistry, so I started fooling the hospital with an inflamed The rabbi then asked him, “Fa- around with my assistant and she appendix. ther, have you ever fallen to the gave me VD, so now I was Fred temptations of the flesh?” Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD. Don’t forget to pick The doctors operated and advised him that all was well, The priest replied, “Yes, rabbi, Well, the ADA found out about up a bottle of wine however, the patrolman kept on one occasion I was weak and the VD, so they took away my feeling something pulling at the DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, for your mom for broke my Faith.” hairs in his crotch. with VD. Then the AMA found out Mother’s Day. about the ADA taking away my The rabbi nodded understand- Worried that it might be a ingly and remained silent, and sat DDS because of the VD, so they After all, you are the second surgery and the doctors took away my MD leaving me as thinking, for about five minutes. reason she drinks. hadn’t told him about it, he JOHN McKINNA was a local musician, a best-selling author, and a Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD published, syndicated cartoonist. We feature his cartoons monthly. took away my Johnson, so now I finally got enough courage to pull Finally, the rabbi said, “Beats am just Fred.’ Mother’s his hospital gown up enough so the hell out of a ham sandwich, he could look at what was making The officer walked away in Day is doesn’t it?” LOCAL’S FAVORITE! Best-kept secret for 30 years! him so uncomfortable. tears, laughing. (Thanks, Karen Beal) Sunday, Keys Eating at Its Finest... And this is why you don’t see May 13 Taped firmly across his pubic Overlooking the Water FRIDAY FISH FRY more women mechanics. I never wanted to hair and private parts were three wide strips of adhesive ALL YOU CAN EAT believe that my tape, the kind that doesn’t come Dad was stealing off easily... if at all. The $12.95 from his job as a Written on the tape in Hideout 5-9 PM • Bev. Incl. road worker. large black letters was the sentence, “Get well soon, from Restaurant —Daily Specials— But when I got the nurse in the Ford Explorer 305-451-0128 Breakfast Served ‘til 2PM Daily you pulled over last week.” home, all the signs 7 Days a Week - 6 AM to 2 PM & Friday Nights 5-9 PM (Kind of brings a tear to your were there. MM 103.5 • Oceanside (Transylvania Ave. to the End) eye.) 20 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 21 Amazing Benefits and Uses for Hydrogen Peroxide

Hydrogen peroxide (H2O2) minutes several times a day. it out. You will not have canker NOTE: Do not swallow any is the only germicidal agent Even gangrene that would not sores and your teeth will be peroxide. When the peroxide composed only of water and heal with any medicine has whiter. If you have a terrible rinse is done, be sure to rinse oxygen. Like ozone, it kills been healed by soaking in toothache and cannot get to a out your mouth with water.

disease organisms by oxida- H2O2. Put half a bottle of dentist right away, put a tion! Hydrogen peroxide is hydrogen peroxide in your capful of 3% Hydrogen perox- Contact Lenses considered the worlds safest bath to help rid boils, fungus ide into your mouth and hold it Hydrogen peroxide is used all natural effective sanitizer. or other skin infections. for 10 minutes several times a as a disinfectant in CIBA It kills microorganisms by Bird Mites Infections day. The pain will lessen Vision‛s Clear Care no rub oxidizing them, which can be greatly. contact lens cleaning solution, best described as a controlled Patients infected by tiny Many people don‛t realize due to its ability to break burning process. When hydro- mites report that hydrogen that hydrogen peroxide makes down the proteins that build gen peroxide reacts with peroxide effectively kills the a very effective and inexpen- up on the lense from the eye‛s mites on their skins. They organic material it breaks sive mouthwash. Use 3% H2O2 immune response, resulting in down into oxygen and water. spray it on their skin a couple – add a dash of liquid chloro- increased comfort for those of times (with a few minutes Whiten Clothes phyll for flavoring if desired. with sensitive eyes. in between the applications) Use baking soda and add An Alternative to Beach with amazing results. Sanitizing / Disinfectant enough 3% H2O2 to make a Add a cup of peroxide to Sinus Infections paste. Clean your counters and white clothes in your laundry Or, just dip your brush in table tops with hydrogen to whiten them. Peroxide is A tablespoon of 3% peroxide to kill germs and 3% H2O2 and brush. Soak your great to get rid of blood Hydrogen peroxide added to 1 leave a fresh smell. Simply put cup of non-chlorinated water toothbrush in it, to keep it stains on clothes and carpets. free of germs. a little on your dishrag when If there is blood on clothing, can be used as a nasal spray. you wipe, or spray it on the just pour directly on the spot, Depending on the degree of Tooth Ache counters. Use it to clean glass let it sit for about a minute, sinus involvement, one will Hydrogen peroxide is not and mirrors with no smearing. then rub and rinse with cold have to adjust the amount of a pain killer; however, as an Keep a spray bottle of 3% water. Repeat if necessary. peroxide used. anti-viral, antibacterial and (straight) to disinfect the It‛s Natural! Wound Care anti-fungal agent, it is effec- interior of the refrigerator tive at treating the pathogen and kids‛ school lunch boxes. Your body makes hydrogen 3% H2O2is used medically for cleaning wounds, removing that is causing the infection. In the Dishwasher peroxide to fight infection . The following is from my own White blood cells are known dead tissue, and as an oral Add 2 oz. of 3% hydrogen debriding agent. Peroxide personal experience: My as leukocytes. A sub-class of dentist wanted to give me a peroxide to your regular leukocytes called neutrophils stops slow (small vessel) washing formula. wound bleeding/oozing, as root canal some time ago as produce hydrogen peroxide as one tooth was inflamed and, Mold the first line of defense well. Some sources recommend in her opinion, would die. I Clean with Hydrogen per- against toxins, parasites, felt some discomfort but bacteria, viruses and yeast. soaking infections or cuts for oxide when your house five to ten minutes several told her that I would give it becomes a biohazard after its Rejuvenating & Detoxifying times a day. However, washing chance to heal. I rinsed with invaded by toxic mold, such as Use about 2 quarts 3% and rinsing action is suffi- hydrogen peroxide (several those with water damage. hydrogen peroxide to a tub of cient. You shouldn‛t leave the times a day) as well ascoco- warm water. Soak at least 1/2 solution on open tissue for nut oil (once a day). The Food Preparation hour, adding hot water as extended periods of time as, discomfort went away and I Use as a vegetable wash or needed to maintain a comfort- like many oxidative antisep- have had no further prob- soak to kill bacteria and neu- able water temperature. tics, hydrogen peroxide lems with the tooth. tralize chemicals. Add 1/4 cup Foot Fungus causes mild damage to tissue Tooth Whitening 3% H2O2 to a full sink of cold in open wounds. Therefore it Having used 3% Hydrogen water. Soak light skinned To cure a foot fungus, is important to use with cau- (light lettuce) 20 minutes, simply spray a 50/50 mixture peroxide as a mouth wash for tion. sometime ago, I am thrilled to thicker skinned (like cucum- of H2O2 and water on them Mouthwash / Tooth Care note that my teeth have been bers) 30 minutes. Drain, dry (especially the toes) every and refrigerate. Prolongs night and let dry. Healing Properties: Take beautifully and effortlessly whitened. I used to pay so freshness. one capful (the little white If time is an issue, spray Infections cap that comes with the much for professional whiten- ing, those silly strips and produce with a solution of 3%. Soak any infections or bottle) and hold in your mouth Let stand for a few minutes, cuts in 3% for five to ten for 10 minutes daily, then spit uncomfortable trays. Live and learn. rinse and dry. 22 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018 May 2018 • The Coconut Telegraph • 23

Hidden Strength by Dawn Wiggins, Ed.S. SOUTH OF THE BORDER BEEF The Mangrove Galley I was working on my head- gravity was slightly off and finding our edge. The place we 1 lb. Bottom Round Beef, cubed stand in yoga this week. Actu- that I needed to realign my can push to in order to grow - by Sandi Mieszczenski 2 medium to large Jalapeño peppers, seeded ally, I work on my headstand body. It was a micro adjust- but without injuring ourselves. Sandi’s recipes are featured here monthly. 1 Habanero or Scotch Bonnet pepper, every week, lol. When it comes ment, really. He insisted I do With an assist from my yoga For previous issues go to http://www.theconchtelegraph.com. seeded (for extra spicy, use 2) to my yoga practice, I have it again. He assisted me, instructor, I was able to push 4 large cloves of Garlic confidence in my flexibility helping me find center and past my edge - with no injury! 1 small Onion 1 10.5 oz. can of Beef Broth and balance. I don't feel very voilà! My feet were pointing to It's the same in therapy. The 1 Tbsp. of butter confident when it comes to my the sky!!! He was very insis- supportive and collaborative 1 tsp. Cumin physical strength. If I can't tent that I DO have the nature of the process helps hit or hold a particular pose, I strength, my issue was clients reach new heights of In a medium sauce pan, melt the butter. Chop the peppers, tend to default to the belief balance or alignment. Now I awareness, self-esteem and garlic, and onion and add them to the butter. Stir over high that I'm not strong enough yet. get also to practice shifting empowerment. heat until softened. Add the beef and stir constantly until My yoga instructor ha the belief I'm not strong If you've ever judged brown on all sides. Add the Cumin, stir in and reduce heat. Add given me a suggestion the enough. therapy to be for the sick, the broth and bring to a light bubble. Cover and cook, stirring week before. A specific way So often this is the exact broken and crazy, consider occasionally, until the beef is about to fall apart and the vegetables have dissolved into the thickening broth, about 2 to build strength to hit my thing I help people with in this an invitation to find a new hours. headstand. I practiced a bit therapy. Therapy isn't just perspective. As a therapist during the week and could tell about solving problems. It's I'm here to support you in Serve as the meat portion of whatever dish you are preparing. I was progressing. It felt also pointing out your hidden blowing your own mind! With Dawn Wiggins, Ed.S. really exciting. strengths that you may not some practice and strategic Licensed Marriage & The month of May features the celebration of Cinco de Mayo. In At the time of my next know are there! We all have so assistance, you get to break- Family Therapist honor of our neighbors to the south, here is a recipe that is the basis for several common Mexican dishes. A spicy beef that can be used lesson, he gave me an instruc- much more available to us through limiting beliefs by Boca Raton • Key Largo • Online for tacos, chili. tostadas, whatever your favorite presentation. tion and I wasn't able to do it. than we realize. Sometimes finding your hidden strengths. 561- 221-5575 Above, we used it asthe star of an Asian-style noodle soup! I immediately said to him "it's we need some assistance "Alone we can do so little; 99353 Overseas Hwy #16 Be aware, it is very spicy! not available." AKA - I can't. realizing our potential. together we can do so much" Key Largo, Florida 33037 He told me that my center of In yoga, we talk about -- Helen Keller www.dawnwigginstherapy.com

I'm still here, I can't leave out, we saw turtles and a pod this place for too long, I still of dolphin rode our bow wave, Business in the Keys love my She Breeze and this which isn't much of a wave 24-HR RAY unusual life style. Though, I when you're only going 4 knots SERVICE Larry‛s Mobile RV Service Serving the Upper Keys did attempt a change, found a - they left us way too soon. 31 Years Experience • Licensed and Insured good buy on a lot with a close We hooked up to a mooring 630-460-7676 friend. After doing the math buoy and all screamed like Commercial & Residential • State Certified Contractor CFC057546 / Licensed & Insured Larry Zinser little girls when we jumped in, [email protected] and adding everything up to CERTIFIED MASTER PLUMBER SPECIALIST build a house on this small yes the water was a bit chilly [email protected] www.floridakeysrvservice.com island I realized it meant yet! We stayed out long Office: (305) 853-1848 97671 Overseas Hwy Like us on FACEBOOK Cell: (305) 772-4580 Key Largo, FL 33037 sharing a house with someone enough to have lunch and and having to give up my boat, waited, I knew the wind was I couldn't afford both. I also by Ginny Jones going to be building in the Quality Web design at affordable rates. Structural/Civil • Structural Evaluations Living Dockside PROMPT did not want a mortgage, I afternoon. Sure enough, we 305-451-3389 PROFESSIONAL Residential/Commercial Design knew I would have to cash in the lucky and wealthy ones people when I tell them I live were able to set the main and Upper Keys SERVICE WE CLOSE PERMITS Web Design my retirement monies, and who can come down on week- on a boat. the jib sails, we let go of the Web Design Website CHARTER PEST CONTROL Michael F. Padula P. E. then what, work and depend on ends to use our waters, res- A couple of weeks ago mooring ball and we sailed all Omar Perez Renovations HOUSEHOLD AND COMMERCIAL PEST CONTROL Seacoast Engineering & Design Social Security? taurants, stores and dive some good friends and I took the way back to the head pin [email protected] E-Commerce I know so many folks down operations, where we all She Breeze out. She hadn't of South Creek. Yes, it took a 305.453.4281 Key Largo, FL 33037 • 305.509.7695 • fax 305.509.7635 Maintenance www.upperkeys.net CHRIS SANTE BOX 373006, MM 100 1/2 [email protected] • Seacoast Engineering and Design on Facebook here that love living on this work, so the rest of us can been away from the dock for a couple of hours, but to sit with Owner KEY LARGO, FLORIDA 33037 rock, in lovely homes, but pay our bills. Scheeesh, you few months, she was pulling on our legs dangling off the bow, they all have to work more see the cycle don't you? This the dock lines trying to get my just listening to the water than one job just for the is why I will remain on She lazy butt out there. There rushing by the hull, with the LUNCH $1 Sushi all the time! privilege to live in paradise. Breeze until I can't navigate wasn't much wind, so we wind in our sails, that is why I 11:30-3 (Mon.-Fri.) Special Dinner Menu And guess what? They never her pitfalls, and fix 90 per- motored out to Cannon Patch, love this island life. Oh, by the starting at $6.99 (5-7:30pm) DINNER get to enjoy living in paradise cent of her moving parts. I needed to put her diesel way, I didn't make the tide 5-10 Lunch Specials from $5.95 (Every Day) Private Room Available because they are always Yes, my cost of living is a lot engine to work. It's not good and got stuck in my channel, Voted Best Asian Food 305-451-5955 15 years in a row. working!!!! Unless the home is less than landlubbers, and I for a diesel to just sit or only embarrassing, thank goodness [email protected] their second home, those are still get the "look" from be run at the dock. On the way for the folks who rescued us. 103200 Overseas Hwy, Key Largo, MM 103 Bayside 24 • The Coconut Telegraph • May 2018

The largest Tiki Bar in the Keys! 305-451-1133 107900 Overseas Hwy www.gilbertsresort.com

Waterfront Tiki Bar, Restaurant, Motel & Marina “Never a Cover Charge” er’ Alway Somethin Fu Goin o a Gilber’

LIVE MUSIC HAPPY HOUR: EVERY DAY! MON-FRI 4-7PM $2 Bud Light & LEGENDARY SUNDAY Miller Lite Drafts, FUNDAY PARTY: 1/2 o Well Drinks and Great Bands 1-6 pm $2.30 Fireball Shots! FRIDAY, MAY 18, 7 11 PM LIVE ENTERTAINMENT - May 2018

GILBERT’S Try a BRINGS YOU THE BEST IN Gilbert’s SO. FLA. “Boobie” BANDS!

MON- FRI

MON- FRI

MON- FRI

BEST MEMORIAL DAY PARTY! Monday, May 28 Jeffrey James Gang 1-6 pm

TRIP MACHINE ECLIPSE MOJO SCOUNDRELS Sun. May 6 Sunday, May 20 Sun. May 27 1-6pm 1-6 pm 7-11pm

MR STIX THE REGS & THE SPURIENCE Sunday, May 27 Sun. May 13, 1-6 pm 12-5pm