Sample Short Story Version #1 (Few Narrative Techniques)

Appendix 6.8 Sample Short Story Version #1 and Version #2: The London Eye

The London Eye sister Rosie was sixteen, and she was always out with her friends. 01. The day that Nick Connell learned he could become invisible began like any other. When he woke up, it 05. Nick pushed open the door to his sister’s room, then was raining. Nick lived in Stepney, in the East End of stood for a moment in the hallway, debating whether to London. A hundred years ago, the street where Nick go inside. He listened for any sounds downstairs, but lived had been a tire factory, and on humid days the air the house was quiet, and so Nick went into the room. still smelled of rubber. He read her diary, snooped around a little, and was sitting on the floor eating her stash of chocolate caramels 02. One morning, Nick woke up and put on his school when he heard footsteps on the stairs. uniform. He was eleven and looked like a lot of other boys his age, with a round face and black hair. The only 06. The footsteps on the stairs turned louder. Rosie was thing different about Nick was that he had one green nearly at the hall. He was scared. He held the choco- eye and one brown eye. Everyone told Nick he was late wrapper in his hand, closed his eyes, and waited to special—that having two different-colored eyes was a hear his sister begin to scream. mark of greatness—but he hated it. 07. But she didn’t. She came into the room, put her 03. Nick had recently lost all three of his family’s schoolbag on the bed, and took off her shoes. Nick umbrellas, and so he walked to school through the cold opened one eye. His sister’s shoe had landed a few wet rain. At lunch he got in a fight with his best friend, inches from his knee. He opened the other eye, expect- Jules. They stopped speaking to each other. ing to see Rosie looking at him. But she wasn’t. She was lounging on the bed now, flipping through a magazine. 04. At home, Nick made toast and tea and started on his homework. But then, out of the blue, while he was 08. After a few more minutes, Rosie went downstairs. staring, bored, at a page of fractions, Nick thought, Once he heard noises from the kitchen, Nick went “Maybe I should go look in Rosie’s room.” Nick’s older downstairs.

208 Downloadable PDFs available on PDToolkit. From Pam Allyn's Core Ready Lesson Sets, Grades 6–8: The Shape of Story: Past and Present. Copyright © 2015 by Pearson Education, Inc. Appendix 6.8 Sample Short Story Version #1 and Version #2: The London Eye (continued)

He asked if she had seen him earlier, and she said The first rule was hard because Nick’s family was no. poor, but the second rule was easy. Nick had thought Nick went upstairs and looked in the bathroom mir- about following friends, but the idea scared him. ror. He looked the same, if a little more bedraggled than Instead Nick explored his city. He went into all the usual. He frowned. He raised one eyebrow, then the rooms that he’d never be allowed in otherwise—without other, at his reflection. He didn’t know what he was money, without a noble title. He snuck into a mansion expecting to see, and he sighed. Then he decided to do in Mayfair and went in a members’ club. He watched an experiment. He closed his eyes and opened them a gambling circle and went in Harrods, the department again. He was invisible. store. He watched every Arsenal match and sometimes Nick practiced in his bathroom every day for a week went to the team’s practices. before he tried to turn invisible outside. He became One night in August, Nick rode the London Eye, the used to the popping sensation in his chest, and after Ferris wheel by the river. He’d already snuck onto it seven days of practicing he could summon it in seconds. a dozen times that summer. The city was below him. And then, just like that, all of London was his. Nick looked out and felt good. And then he felt the pop in his chest, and suddenly he was there. He wasn’t Nick’s favorite soccer team was Arsenal. The first invisible any longer. Nick could never turn invisible thing he did was sneak into the Arsenal stadium. He again. After a few months, he stopped trying. But for had never been so happy in his life. the rest of his life, he remembered the season when all It was the best summer ever. Nick explored of London was his. Buckingham palace without getting caught. He snuck into restaurants, but he never stole food. He’d set two rules for himself: 1. No stealing. 2. No snooping on people you know.

Downloadable PDFs available on PDToolkit. From Pam Allyn's Core Ready Lesson Sets, Grades 6–8: The Shape of Story: Past and Present. Copyright © 2015 by Pearson Education, Inc. 209 Appendix 6.8 Sample Short Story Version #1 and Version #2: The London Eye (continued)

Sample Short Story Version #2 (Many Narrative Techniques)

The London Eye cared much about it either way, but by the time lunch was over they weren’t speaking to each other. 01. The day that Nick Connell learned he could become invisible began like any other. When he woke up, rain 04. At home, Nick made toast and tea and started on his was bucketing down from a low gray sky. Nick lived in homework. But then, out of the blue, while he was star- Stepney, in the East End of London, in a small brick house ing, bored, at a page of fractions, Nick thought, “Maybe surrounded by identical small brick houses. A hundred I should go look in Rosie’s room.” years ago, the street where Nick lived had been a tire 05. Nick’s older sister Rosie was sixteen, and she was factory, and on humid days the air still smelled of rubber. always out with her friends. “I just want to find out where 02. On this cold spring morning, Nick woke up and put they go,” Nick whispered aloud as he climbed the stairs on his school uniform. He was eleven and looked like to her room. “I just want to know what they do.” a lot of other boys his age, with a round face and black 06. Nick pushed open the door to his sister’s room, then hair. The only thing different about Nick was that he stood for a moment in the hallway, debating whether to had one green eye and one brown eye. Everyone told go inside. He listened for any sounds downstairs, but Nick he was special—that having two different colored the house was quiet, and so Nick went into the room. eyes was a mark of greatness—but he hated it. “It just He read her diary, snooped around on her computer, makes me look funny,” he said. and was sitting on the floor eating her stash of choco- 03. Nick had recently lost all three of his family’s late caramels when he heard footsteps on the stairs. umbrellas, and so he walked to school through the 07. “No, no, no,” Nick whispered. How had he not cold wet rain. When he arrived, his school uniform was heard the front door? He must have been rustling the soaked, and he sat, dripping, through Math, Geography, candy wrappers too loudly. and History. At lunch he got in a fight with his best 08. The footsteps on the stairs turned louder. Rosie was friend, Jules, when she said there were seven oceans on nearly at the hall. All the blood had left Nick’s face, turn- the planet and he said there were five. Neither of them ing him pale. He scrunched up the chocolate wrapper

210 Downloadable PDFs available on PDToolkit. From Pam Allyn's Core Ready Lesson Sets, Grades 6–8: The Shape of Story: Past and Present. Copyright © 2015 by Pearson Education, Inc. Appendix 6.8 Sample Short Story Version #1 and Version #2: The London Eye (continued) in his hand, closed his eyes, and waited to hear his sis- squinted shut. I’m not here, he thought to himself, I’m ter begin to scream. not here. And then he felt something pop, like a bubble 09. But she didn’t. She came into the room, dumped bursting in his chest, and he opened his eyes. her schoolbag on the bed, and kicked off her shoes. 15. He wasn’t there. His reflection, in the mirror, was Nick opened one eye. His sister’s shoe had landed a gone. Nick laughed, and the sound seemed to come few inches from his knee. He opened the other eye, from nowhere at all, from thin air. Nick reached his expecting to see Rosie with her arms folded over her hand toward the mirror, and his fingers grazed the cold chest, glaring at him. But she wasn’t. She was sitting on glass, and still nothing appeared in the reflection. He the bed now, flipping through a magazine. was invisible. 10. After a few more minutes, Rosie yawned and pad- 16. Nick practiced in his bathroom every day for a week ded downstairs. Once he heard noises from the kitchen, before he tried to turn invisible outside. He became Nick bolted up and ran down the stairs and into the used to the popping sensation in his chest, and after kitchen. seven days of practicing he could summon it in seconds. 11. “Nick!” Rosie yelped. “You scared me. I didn’t think 17. And then, just like that, all of London was his. anyone was home.” 18. Nick’s favorite soccer team was Arsenal, and the first 12. “You didn’t see me earlier?” thing he did was sneak into the Arsenal stadium. He 13. “No,” said Rosie, as though he were very stupid. jumped, invisible, from the stands down onto the pitch and watched the game from the sidelines. After the striker 14. Nick went upstairs and looked in the bathroom missed a goal, the Arsenal coach, Arsène Wenger, stood mirror. He looked the same, if a little more bedraggled right next to Nick and shouted at the team, throwing than usual. He frowned. He raised one eyebrow, then his hands in the air, his face turning purple. The players the other, at his reflection. He didn’t know what he ran inches away from Nick’s face. When Arsenal scored was expecting to see, and he sighed. Then he decided the winning goal, Nick ran out onto the field, his arms to do an experiment. He closed his eyes and remem- in airplanes, circling the huddle of cheering players. He bered hearing his sister’s footsteps coming up the stairs. had never been so happy in his life. His heart began to pound in his chest. His eyes were

Downloadable PDFs available on PDToolkit. From Pam Allyn's Core Ready Lesson Sets, Grades 6–8: The Shape of Story: Past and Present. Copyright © 2015 by Pearson Education, Inc. 211 Appendix 6.8 Sample Short Story Version #1 and Version #2: The London Eye (continued)

19. It was the best summer ever. Nick hopped the fence circle in the basement of a kebab shop in Islington. In in front of Buckingham Palace and lay under a cherry June, he told his mom he was staying with Jules’s family tree a few inches from the queen’s window. He wan- and then spent the night in Harrods, the best depart- dered through noisy bustling restaurant kitchens in ment store in London. He watched every Arsenal match Shoreditch and Hackney, careful not to bump into the and sometimes went to the team’s practices, dribbling chefs with their steaming pots and pans. He spent a lot alongside the players, pretending to take shots on goal. of time in the kitchen of his favorite Indian restaurant on 23. One night in August, Nick rode the London Eye, a Brick Lane, but he never stole any food. huge Ferris wheel on the banks of the river. He’d already 20. He’d set two rules for himself: snuck onto it a dozen times that summer. The city glit- 1. No stealing. tered below him. Nick pressed his hands to the glass 2. No snooping on people you know. compartment. He felt completely content and completely himself. And then, as though he knew it was 21. The first rule was hard because Nick’s family was coming, he felt the pop in his chest, and suddenly he poor, but the second rule was easy. Nick had thought was there. He wasn’t invisible any longer. His reflection about following Jules and his other friends from school, looked back at him, surprised, in the glass. but the idea unsettled him. He didn’t want to be untrust- worthy. And after thinking about it for a long time, he 24. Nick could never turn invisible again. After a few decided he didn’t really want to hear what people said months, he stopped trying. But for the rest of his life, he about him when he wasn’t there. remembered the season when all of London was his. One day, when Nick was eighteen, Jules’s dad won tick- 22. Instead Nick explored his city. He went into all ets to an Arsenal match in a raffle. The seats were the the rooms that he’d never be allowed in otherwise— best in the stadium, right above the pitch. without money, without a noble title. He snuck into a mansion in Mayfair that looked like a great white cake 25. “Can’t get any closer than this, can you?” asked and went into a members’ club down the block full of Jules’s dad. round men with red cheeks. He watched a gambling 26. “No,” said Nick, laughing, “you can’t.”