30th JANUARY 1987 BARE FA CTS NUS CAMPAIGN AGAINST STUDENT LOANS "IMPROVEMENT IN THE EXISTING 6RANTS SYSTEM REÍ5UIRED, BF SCOOP- The priorlty campaign for the 1987 Sprint, term is againat the ictroduction of student loans and for a major improvement in the existing grants system. "PRES DENT ATE MY International research has showp that loans cost the taxpayer more than grants and discriminate agalnst women,irature Btudents,people with disabilities and PREGNANT GOLDFISH" those ¿rom lovrer income groups. They are also a nightmare to adminístrate. Instead NUS is calling for a minimum grant of £35 -Rugby Club Chairman tells al per week for ali studer.ts in further and higher cducation;the reptoration of the grant to its 1978/79 levels(grants have fallen by 21% in the past 7 years); Distraught 'David Poster' Claims that 'trusted' the abolition of parental contributlonr. and full trave] Union President, Jefi Nash, abducted hls prize Japanese costs paid. goldfish in a 'sick and bizaar' practical joke. "NUS accepts thct th
Hope you all enjoyed the Supetbowl on Sunday - pity Placement Handbook for the Professional Year - Any the boring Giants won though. final years out there that can remember this wonderful document from their year out, who feels I'm going to start with a personal message this week there were any items lacking in the content, please to all the Girlies, Foz and the boys, Helen and Jeff give your ideas to me. - Gordon sends you all his love. Faculty Board ~ At the Engineering Faculty on Tuesday Right now on to the more mundane - am. we were asked to approve action by a department to offer lectures and tutorials to their students on Welfare Committee - Met last Friday and decided that Bank Holidays within the Summer Term when the we would support Nightline in trying to get back on University is officially closed. It seems to me that theic feet by helping with training both financially many departments are encroaching more and more on our and physically. 'free-time*, which can cause difficulty for those living off campus. We also decided to join in the Nationwide activity occurring on March 11th by launching an Anti-Drungs However, having discussed this with Jeff, we feel it campaign. I'm sure this decision will be very might be time to suggest that staggering lunchtimes popular with all of you across campus, as we are over each department, so that half the Oniversity trying to arrange for the Navy guys to come down here takes 12-1 and the other half 1-2, may relieve to Guildford and teach us all about drugs. the loading of lecture theatre allocation. This, of course, would not actually help ourselves, as all our Education Committee - We will be meeting at Ipa on lunchtime meetings, including the General Meeting, Friday in Room 103. Those of you who are meant to be would be lost. there should know who you are by now - anyone else who is interested in coming along, then please do I strongly believe that in most departments so. He will be looking at the few offerji^ngs we have timetables are overloaded with too many contact hours for the Alternative Prospectus . If you are one of and little time for private study, where often the the people I asked to write a submission for your quality of work done and amount of information course, its about time you got your finger out. understood and retained is greater.
Overseas Committee - Will meet once again this If you have any comments to make on the above can you Wednesday at 6pm. in Room 103. please come along to the Education Committee meeting on Friday at 1pm. in Room 103. Accommodation - we will be setting the future policy on Accommodation allocation in the next couple of Can^algns - At xmas NDS Conference the National weeks, if you have any comments then please come and Executive were instructed to organise a lobby of see me. Parliament, a week of action and other can^aign activities on the issue of student Financial support, and that this should lead to 'the largest national student demo yet, in the second term against loans*.
Within our own Student Onion we need to decide how we are going to get involved in these activities and how to encourage all our students to take part. If you Doing anyttag Monday eveig? fancy being involved in the organization of our can^aign, in future campaigns coming up next term and continuing can^aigns from last term - i.e. AIDS, please come along to a meeting in the Inner Gallery on Thursday 5th February at 5pm«
FINALLY don't forget to read this week's article on AIDS. If anyone wants any info or has any questions then please come and see me.
-VTIIJUR VE MUSIC Heather Colin EC 8,30piii 2nd Feb, Lower Bar NOTICE BARE FACTS WARHING SOME READERS MAY FIND THE NEXT PAGES oor singers welcome, OFFENSIVE. WE WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT AN INFORMATIVE ARTICLE ON AIDS WAS APPROVED Folk Club AT THE GM LAST TERM AND THE ED-BOARD NAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE PUBLICATION OF THIS ONLY 60P ARTICLE. THE EDITOR. Since there's NO CURE yet for AIDS consider adopting the following A recommendations . . . • ---nta: t - bot h hâterosezual and iiJB-js-'rX'jal i-s i.ii« isûst freûUêQt aethod of cransaittlniir AIDS. ît acce«r.ts for 70% of I |3aiMKII\IC3lS very risky Aiwsrlcàii '..îsââ anJ vOS of câses tn Britain. I because you can get or give the virus D Of tofi .iiiîérant tvîws oí ó«xual activité, ' through tiny tears in the skin or body vâïlnâi and ¿nal íriterooorse are overwnelininiily tissue. t.hô iBûst cosiiBon aïOQé ai transnisslon.
Ka-5t othir tviHrS ol sexual actlvitv which Really Want To iiivolvfä an ûxchanae of badv fiuids; such as Use Rubbers (Condoms) - they aren't kissia^ aod oral sex. can .under certain ..unditianai. trâiiiislt All'È: though orobably less 100% safe as they can tear or slip off: ââsilv •'hau viírlnal and anal intercourse but they're safer »-.îiê virus li ?Bui:h less cancentrated in sal i Vi flnl ora 1 contact iavalves less than nothing. liìc«l vccju ut su>joL(â TMOtraae dana¡;e. The Use plenty of dan Jeff In kiaélii« and oral sex is Chat the water-based virus co'jid be .•«•ááisd -jú oy, infectsd. semea and saliva öoteriü^ the bicodstreaa via scratches lubricant like or sQi'es on the i i os, JIUZBS. toogue or throat. KY or 121, but If, iiQwever. iî is swallowed the virus Is CCQMMï. de^trovâd by zhû stomach's powerful get the acids. in oral reverse infection could rubber on taXe place if the peáis was subjeoted to teetli first..,. í^razes and infectad saliva then got Into theic abrasion. The only route of infectlvity in ' WHATIN7Ô ¡^^BC^MeANS{ mutual masturbation is if AIDS- contaainated semen falls directly on an open skia wound. oeea alieost entirely eliminàted. The only ?fenstrual blood ma y. also contain the virus. ^psD^ible remaining route of AlDS infection via biôod transfusion is in the very unlikely case of an unwitting virus carrier donating blood in Jthe period Inmediately aften infection, but before the production of antibodles- in which ..Fi) QCîûXâSi- At presest the niost comisoa case an HIV antibody test would show a negative Enthod direct blood transmission of AIDS is result and the contasinated blood would • hrouili the sharing of needles and syringes by .therefore be certified fit for use in peoDle who Inject drugs iato their velas. The transmission. vlr'Jâ caii also bs .passed on via the usa of inîécted acupuncture, ear-piercing or tattoing nsedles. •3> OTHSB TBASSMISSTnS. b'-.liLAD^usXaàâ In the cast, blood-borne AIDS ft) Mother to Foetus: An infected mother can was largély passed on fron one person to •transait the virus to her foetus in the woœb or anothdr through the transfusion of infected Infect her new-born child through HIV -whcle blood. or plasma and blood products such contaminated breast milk. This route of as Factor 8 and factor 9 which are used by transmission is now throught to be extreme 1 y haeauphiliacs to restsdy genette de f ideaci es in important as becosing pregnant would seen to ^their blood. Sowadavs. by testlng ail donated increase the probability of the mother blood and heat-treating piasaa and factor 8 and A contracting AIDS if she Is HIV positive. 9. the contatti nati on of the blood supply has b) Transplants: The transplant of infected Rubbers might take a bit of getting tissue and organs has in the past traasferred N used to: the virus to the recipient. However, today this is aost ualikely as transplant donors are now Try Wanking with them, it helps. S screened for HIV infection. Try putting it on him. c) Artificial Insémination: Likewise with artificial insémination. Though mothers and You'll soon get the hang of it! M foetuses have previousiy been Infected by this method, the introduction of tests for ail semen IMPORTANT donors will elimínate it in the future. when usine I Rubbers: VHP IS AT BISK PROM AIDS? DON'T S POTESTIALLY EVERYOÏE IS AT SISK FROK AIDS. The people who are at risk of contracting AIDS use Vaseline or oils are those who do not things which are known to - they meit the rubber in cause the transmission of the virus, plus the minutes. Use KY or S sexual partners of such people. Hssentially, this means that those at risk of AIDS infection 121: both water-based are people who exchange body fluids lubricants. I especially blood and senen. DON'T use Spit. . Gay and Bisexual Hen Haeaophiliacs NEVER o Blood Transfusion Recipients reuse Heterosexuals rubbers. Use a NEW , Drug Users Vho Share Seedles Prostitutes Rubber every time N Children Born To Infected Parents you fuck. '' Sexual Partners Of Sisk Qroups. tvmr Ue A» wrmnW^T Everyone's turned on by différent things . . . , As For
THE ARTICLE ON AIDS, PREPARED BY THÉ V.P., WHICH WAS DUE TO BE PRINTED IN THIS WEEK'S ISSUE OF BARE FACTS HAS BEEN CENSORED. ..:;3 THE BARE FACTS EDITORIAL Share the BOARD WERE IN AGREEMENT/ TOGETHER WITH PROTEST LETTERS. THAT THE ARTICLE BE CHAN6ED DUE TO prèàsiïre with IT'S DISCUSTING, INSENSITIVE AND SENSATIONALIST CONTENT. •7 a friend. THE ED-BOARD.
'• -s ünUHTTTgE Continued from Page 1 Should aeet twice next week. Apart from tiie -ncraji It must be stressed that the Trade unions are not weekly nseting on Vednesday there wiii a'.so be s objecting to the arrest of those who were fermenting soeciai mse'in? to dlscuss the conciUrions of the trouble, but to the randoa aod brutàl repris&l 'Travel Bureau Working Party. The iatter should t%ke attacks by the Police, many of whom had removed place on Thursdav at IDB. their numbers to avoid Identification. Vhen those who control production are allowed to sack 5.500 workers in a deliberately provoked strlke designed The Senate aet on Vednesdav and endorsed ¡with the to introduce more passive scab labour Uf you don't support of the ."Students' iJriian) the VC's action tn belieye me find a copy of the leaked letter fron banning Steven Vilson for two weeks. Hurdoch's solicitor on the advantages of sacklng whilst OD strlke), when the courts eequeetrat« the Please nots that the Student«' Union and the University funds of the workers' Unions, and when there is will continue to take verv serlouslv anv misbehavloor virtually no prospect of the largely middle aged in Valnut Tree Close. workforce flndlng another Job, mass action is the only mesns of protest left. Organlsers must go to more strenuous lengths to renove troubleaakers fron their ranks, but there Is clear ly an onus on the Nominations are now open for the sabbatical post s and Pollice to respond in a rational nanner which takes account of the rights and safety of legltlmate those of... protesters, rather than carrylng ' out attacks of appalline brutality on the public with the idea that Treasurer it is batter for many Innocent to be injured and Internai Affairs arrested rather than for a few guilty to escape. Bxternal Affairs 6 Représentatives to 5US Conference (this takes place in week 9).
Nomlnatolns must be In bv 5pm on Frtfiav 13th Februarv-
THE ABUATIC Thls aet last Frlday and apart from oresentlriff the accounts of the University reported that uniess the Government coMs to the rescue of the university system this University COLUMIM Cheshire Homes have come to the Union with a oiea lor help in the form of Street collectors for this Saturday. This is their only najor opoortunlty to ralse noney this year, if you can help please see me. First of ali I think l'd better clsar my name with respect to the goldfish article on page ons. Quite simply, "l've been framed John!". Rather than belng the villan of the piece I saved the aforementloned fish Vili ali those who took part In the balance test lor froo certain death at the hands of tlpsy Cornish seadog, prevented then froa further harn and neglect the Farnhaa Rd Bosoltal last term return to the Union fron a beartless owner (who was so preocupied with his for a re-test this Thursday. night of sin elsewhere that he had left his door open and the fish alone) and then took then to my room for safe keeplng. I never touched a scale on their head! As for the uníounded allégations from the Rugby As BF have polnted out elsewhere in Br they rae not In chairperson, well I can only deduce that he's trying to total agreement with publication of the information avold a charge from the RSPCA for gross neglect of a froa the Terranee Higgins Trust oa AIDS and safer seK. goldfish! Enough of this nonsense and down to the Tne canroaign to help stop th- spread of Alt® is 5 OK serlous stuff policy and the article 'produced bv or.e ot the organisations at the f or-i front of the ca-^EDaíiín -with FTHAWrK miCMTTTES the support of the government/ is in rev view part and parcel of It. l'n sure that none oí th« termiaoioev is This met on Wednesday and desplte waitlng 45 minutes to new to anybody and the styie is desl?ned te orovoke the becoBje quorate (ny apologies again to those of you who attention and frank diiscuision that the aub.iect were kept waitlng) we were able to get through ali the demandis. business. FISALLY It was reported that the budgets for term twi are not yet ready and therefore no allocations have yet been 5o Hash's Kosh this week as the PO pressle has poacheó nade. Hopefully these will be ready in the next week (or rather grllled) ny choice for this week «?ish i.e. and will be displayed on the finance noticeboard. goldfiàh pie). !s he the real goldfish fiend? The minibus fleet was also transferred Into the Bye bye. ownershlp of the club as reported last week. This will jaean that the finances for this actlvity will now be financed from our trading sector thus allowing the VAT to be offset. Ve also agreed to transfer the balance of the defunct Thlrd Vorld First Soc to Var on Vant for laneadiate use SPRING TERM PLANNERS in the area for which It was orlginally intended. It NOW AVAILABLE FREE was also noted that the money raised at the Live Aid gig last year was still in our accounts. It was agreed FROM THE TRADING train to London, to the phone number of the local JOIN US ON MONDAYS AT 3,00PM TB21 Family Planning Clinic - anything you need to know, we can find out for you. On top of all that (yes, there's more), we can provide you with the FEBRUARY 2ND "VOTES FOR WOMEN - FROM best cup of coffee you have ever had on campus, PANKHURST TO THATCHER" tea. biscuits and emergency supplies of essentials like sanitary protection, matches, MARGARET WESTWOOD sticking plaster and condoms. So coae and see us, we're between Vey and Vandle (Surrey Court), or ring us on Guildford 32710. FEBRUARY 9TH "WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF WOMEN?" DR MAUREEN POPE BIGHTLHE - That's What Ve're Here Forlì FEBRUARY 16TH "WHOSE BODY IS IT ANYWAY?" MICHELLE CARLISLE CN.U.S.) skiing in italy FEBRUARY 23RD "TRAINING FOR WOMEN AND Only one place available!!! Cost: £230.00 Payable A.S.A.P. GIRLS - Do THEY GET WHAT THEY DESERVE?" DATE: 3l8t March - 7th April PROFESSOR DAPHNE JACKSON OBE CONTACT RAJ SHARMA 6I0CHEH LAB 16AY19 X2561 PEE GEE TIPS COMMUNITY Dear Tipsters, Veil another week has gone and if ACTION your research is not'going veil, don't worry. By the tloe you read this article, there was an open Hello everybody. lecture on "HOW TO WRITE A THESIS" by Prof. Elton. However, If you didn't go or were not able to, don't It's time again for the c A article. There are three worry as Prof. Elton will be giving a second lecture things that come to mind this week. Firstly, the on "HOW TO GIVE A SEMINAR". rota was decided foe the Kids' Project during a very fruitful meeting last Saturday. This rota is:- On tuesday 10 Febuary there is going to be a post. grad. meeting in Wates House at 7.30 pm. A Week 2. General activities guitarist will be present to provide some light Week 3. swimming at G'frd Sports Centre entertainment. Week 4. General activities Week S. Trampolining (perhaps) Well thats all the news this week. To compensate, Week 6. cooking (Brillian funtU here is this weeks recipe: Fish with White Wine and Week 7. Chessington zoo Mushroom Sauce. Buy fresh fish, I used a small half Week 8. General Activities fillet of cod (approx. 80p ). Put fish in a baking Week 9. Treasure Hunt & Games dish with afew knobs of butter, sprinkle a little salt and pepper on top, a dash of thjrme is also General activities include craft, board games, sports quite good as well. Put in a medium bot oven to bake. and the great big yellow inflatable. To make the sauce, melt some butter in a pan then add a couple of spoons of flour and stir. A thick Secondly, County sound (the second best radio station paste should result. Add milk and 1 glass of white around (thankyou Marco) ate collecting stamps for wine{medium/dry) still stirring over heat, untili charity. If you have any, just stick them in the the required consistency. Wash and cut mushrooms C.A. pigeon hole in the Union. (not the magic sort),then add to sauce. Add salt and pepper to taste and let the sauce cook for approz. Finally, the Hascombe Cheshire Homes are looking for 15-20 minutes. Do not let the sauce thicken to much. volunteers to go into Guildford on 7 February in order to spend a few hours with collecting boxes. If Serve fish with the sauce and other vegitables you are willing to help, once again stick a note in (not the Nash's ).Good luck and bon apetit. the C.A. pigeon hole or see any of the C.A. committee. Paul (PGA President) Thats all folks. PS. This recipe does not. go well with gold fish. Hywel. PPS. I agree with Helen although it was very funny. ** ATTENTION ** ATTENTION ** an INTENSIVE COURSE in ANTI-RAP AND -DEFENCE Techniques Venue: Sports Hall B' Time: Mondays 6.30-7.30 Please contact Sports Hall for further détails. FOOD & BEVERAGE MANAGER , Glosses EXTERNAL AFFAIRS There is far too much glass smashing going on in the Union, and I'm afraid it must stop. It is costing us far too much money and will If Tuesday night's consumption of Budweiser is eventually have to go onto the price of beer. I anything to go by you've all read last week's column shall also stop using straight pints if the and taken great notice of it. rate of breakage carries on as it is, and use only Jugs on the bars. It is totally pointless our trying to upgrade our trading operations if •Equality' we cry. Equality of opportunity, people are going to waste large suas of money education, pay rights, taxation, pension, life - who on mindless vandalism. would disagree - why shouldn't women feel that in every way the fact of being a female affects you only when you choose to acknowledge it. Lower Bar In the 70 years since women were finally given the vote has society fulfilled the expectations that the You will have noticed by now tliat some prices suffragettes bad of it* have gone up in the lower bar- This is because they have not been increased for nearly three The House of commons is acknowledged to be one of the years and- costs liave risen quite dramatically greatest democratic assemblies of the world - 'Mother in that time. Ve are also trying to make the of Parliaments'. Yet of the 650 M.P.'s only 27 r a menu more interesting by varying it from week mere 4« - are women, this is one of the lowest to week. Those who do. not eat neat will see amongst all the democracies. that every week we now have a vegetarian AID a vegan dish which are very good. Please bear with us on the queuing front - we are very This, at a time when the highest number of women in short staffed and things are therefore a little our history are working outside the home, advancing hectic. However, I hope to be recruiting again into professions. women are not an oppressed before long so there is light at the end of the minority seeking recognition, they are a majority - tunnel. 52% of the electorate. In the next year and a half there will be a general Bars election in which there is no doubt that there will be no significant increase in the number of women M.F.'s. This is due to the male M.P.'s retaining the You will have observed that both bars are safe seats, no women being selected for seats that suffering from a lack of products. The main the various parties might reasonably hope to win or reason for this is the recent merger between retain.. Coca Cola and Schweppes, who have formed a new company to distribute both their brands.- This follows the termination of Schweppes agreement It is not only the responsibility of those in power with Pepsi Cola, who have now struck up a deal of choosing candidates to readdress this gross with Britvlc Corona. Hence the UK soft drinks inbalance, it is also up to the young women now industry is groaning with confusion, and many making their way in the professions, commerce and brands are teaç>orarily unavailable. Ve shall do education to ensure that there is an adequate number our best to sort things out, but this may take of potential candidates on the list of each party. a little time. Also, watch out for some bottled This needs sufficient numbers of qualified women beer lines - some are being discontinued and coming forward in order to show that truly a woman's are therefore being sold at special prices. place is in the House - The House of Commons. Thanks to all those that attended the disco on Wednesday, especially those that helped. GO'AHEAd GRADUATES For those of you that helped raise money for our Many graduates ia coantries such as the United States Match 1% campaign and anyone else that wants to know Germany, Japan and France find running their own where its going, Steve Morgan from WAH ON WANT is business a more exciting and challenging prospect- than coming down to the G.H. on Tuesday to receive our Just getting a Job helping somebody else run theirs. donation and tell us where it will be going and what In this country, less than 1% choose to start their it will be used for. own business. The Graduate Enterprise Prograaae, being run next Hoping to see you there. autumn, by the Enterprise Unit of Bristol University, will provide free training aimed at turning a business Adam. idea into a business reality. Entrepreneurs come in all shapes and sizes bu< the INTERNAL AFFAIRS, essential Ingredient they all share is their commit- ment to their venture. A good measure of determination and capacity for hard work helps and if you can add The first meeting of this term will be held on Monday a dash of flair, so much the better, 2nd February at 6pm. in the Inner Onion Gallery. Items on the agenda include an application by The business idea Itself cannot be defined any more Methodist Soc. for a full constitution and an precisely than that, it has to be 8c»nething that application by Law soc. for a provisional people want. It doesn't necessarily have to be some- constitution. Also Christian Onion would like to thing entirely new (very little is) but It might be change their present constitution. Any other items an adaption, a new approach, a different method of for inclusion on the agenda must be submitted 'to me presentation and It must be properly planned. by the Wednesday • 11am. - before the meeting. Without proper training, the failure rate for new business can be dismal with as many as 1 to 3 Kext term this post will become vacant, os if you're businesses not surviving their first year of trading. at all interested in becoming the Internal Affairs With professional training, this failure rate can be Officer for a year, then come and see me - drasatlcally reduced. nominations for the post are in about 3 weeks time. If yon would like more information about GEP, please contact Linda Skiimer at Enterprise Unit, So there you go? there you have it? have a good University of Bristol, Department of Extra-Uural one? etc. etc. Maaaan ! Studies, Queens load, Bristol. BS8 IHR. Telephone Bristol 303615. The closing date for applications for the next course is the end of February 1987. Helen Beres (IAO) ADVERTISING RATES The advertising rates for this term are remaining at the previous, amazingly cheap prices as last term. These, for those uninformed persons amongst you EDITORIAL SIZE Internal External 1/8 Page £5.00 Not Available 1/4 Page £10.00 £30.00 AAAAARRARRGGHGHHHH! 1/2 Page £25.00 £55.00 Bight, you b**»***s, I've finally made it! No more Full Page £45.00 £100.00 being nice to people in the fear of losing votes. All clubs and societies advertising must enclose an But now, back to the present. Mega thanks to all authorised UIT (Union Internal Transfer form) to ensure the personals this week, Ididn't really mean it. And inclusion in the next issue with the completed ad. as for a certain person who managed to write 27 personals this week and not even one about herself! ELEC ENG-BOTTOM^ Strange reports have been coming into the BF office all week about one of the President's many -An article In this weeks THES iiives a grading oi sexual perversions, sucking fish!!!! Could this Research and Teaching at departments of Electronic and fettish catch on I ask myself? I certainly hope so. Electrical Engineering based on a seer survey. A questionnaire was sent to HoDs around th^ country, Apart from this HUGE news item, this week was asking, amongst other things, for their pertronil dominated by a large excess of alcohol, nore commonly opinions of the 5 best decartments. known in the BF offices as inspiration, to help me stand on stage and talk complete drivel for at least Southampton university came top of the cole in both a minute, and then try answering the totally pathetic research and teaching, scoring 6C and 47 resplctively. questions posed by our truely wonderful sabbaticals! Surrey was not mentlojied in the researtb leatue. and scored 1 whole point 'along with such notable On a more serious point for a moment, I would like establishments as Dundee College of Technology' ior Its to {K>lnt out that.1 do not hgve AIDS and I have never teaching efforts. had AIDS, although I do fall into a high risk category!! ! ! ! ! ! 11 This Is a rather curious result in view of the lact that the recent University Grants Committee (the meri (Cheers Neil) with the money) report star rated Surrey as one or At this point I seem to be totally out of any more only 7 'outstanding* departments in the country. It is a*** to type, so thankyou to OFU for stuffing last unfortunate that such a distinguished decartiiient it week, thanks to Drama Soc. for stuffong this week, seemingly rated so lowly by Its peers. (IF they turn up) and finally a reminder to Stage Perhaps other establishiaents are simply JE.ALf)Uc ni Crew - STUFFING NEXT WEEK!!!!! Surrey's success and are getting their own back. Ve at BF would hope that those in the higher echelons of the Love and Kisses, educational establishment would be above such DIUBLE XXXXXXX pettiness, but perhaps not. BF question?: I wonder If the 1 pt was our deoartiMiat voting for itself? CREW Saturday; Races Night .... Sunday : Boring Band, oh I'm not supposed to say that No Speaka Da Lingo am I?1 Anyway, it's 'Stars of Heaven' Monday : Crew Meeting 5.00pm L.I.S. Ball - Grant Fosters, Egham. Folk Club - Lower Bar. shopping Tuesday : G.M. 1pm Union Lounge. •(D # Wed. : Lower Bar Disco - private Party. PHARMACY ^ Thursday; Set up P.A. in hall for sound tomorrow. "¡afa Friday : Sound in Hall, 12.30 for some comedy act. Start at 2pm for Pamela Stephenson. Love, p»*» & cr*****""**, Scotch Git (with help from Phyllis) P.S. Sorry it's so boring but Phyllis wrote most of it and he's (as crew know) lovesick at the raoment. Anyway. Ì RESIDENCE FEES Please collect and sign for your invoice from the court attendant. The FINAL date for payment of your invoice is FRIDAY 30TH JANUARY 1987. Payment should be made to the cashiers office, first floor, Senate House by this date. The cashiers opening hours ore Mon-Fr.i 9.30am to 3.30pm (Thu 12.30pffl - 3.30pm only). If you have any difficulties about paying on time please see the court Why not try 'The Travelers Picture Phrase attendant of your court for a concession Book'.No trouble about being understood with this form before 30th Jan. new book,all you do is point to the picture of the word you're talking about and anyone anywhere will Failure to pay by 3.30pm on 30th Jan know what you mean.Split up into nine easy sections will result in a £10 late payment fee. with the most important words in every language Please make sure that your cheques are from Albanian to Vietnamese,and other important correctly written, dated and signed as they may be returned by tiie casliiers and travel information-All for only £1.95.... miss the final payment date. A BARGAIN 8 SEC COLUMIM Hello everjrbody, I hope you ali enjoyed the Free Disco last Friday and have managed to recover from the festivities. I must give special thanks to the people who helped me move the chairs from the dancefloor, it was truly appreciate -d.Last SuQday oight the band "The Favourites" seemed to go down well.I hope you enjoyed the dancing! The Charter Ball Committee met on Tuesday evening and the next meeting for anyone interested in being invloved will be held next Tuesday at 6pm in the Gallery. I must apologise for the mistake on the Ents posters- the Fancy 'dress Free disco at the end of term will be on the 26th March, however this is a Thursday and not a Friday as advertised-sorry!I know l'm nowhere near perfect. In the neantime see you ali at the races on Saturday! mmuastephìhson love, Helen. x Comedy Show D« Pamela Stephenson will be bringing her own style of comedy in a wacky ,zany show in the Hain Hall on Friday 6th. February,There will be a supporting east of two little people to help Pamela with her sketches and this could prove to be very amusing indeed. So get your ticket for this 2 hour show as soon as possible from the Trading desk as they are already selling like hot cakes! Pamela will also be appearing on BBC TV's Wogan next week so catch her for a sneak preview! THE STARS OF HEAVEN sunday 1 February 1987 Q. Whicìi is the first Irish band in six years to have recently recorded a session for Jcrfin Peel? A. Tbe Stars of Heaven - To find out vtiy then drag yourselves down to the imion this Sunday evening vrfiere the aforanentioned band will be here to entertain you with their very own style of nusic. The Stars, fonned in 1984, are a 'country tinged guitar band' who apparently 'mix crystal clear vocals with chiming guitars' or so wrote a gentleman forthe Guardian last September. At about the same time, the band released 'Sacred Bear t Hotel' - the mini-LP resulting from the Peel sessicxi. However, caily <*ie song, l'm assured, begins with a gleeful 'YEEHAW' and parts of their music is decidedly 'Buzzoocksish' at times. If this sounds like the kind of band you'd like to see then you know viiere to find then. See you on Sunday. SATURPAV NIGHT! On Saturday 31st January the Entertainments Committee will be presenting a race night In the THE NERDS WANT REV£N6E!?\t Union lounge. The true excitement of a race meeting is brought to the students and staff and will probably be the moat exciting and noted event we Ents will be presenting a coaedy double, "Revenge have held. of the Kerds" & the great Marilyn Monroe classic The films of horse or trotting races are •The 7 Year Itch" this Friday 30th Jan, tn lecture sealed in individual containers and have Peter theatre 'G' at 11.15 pn. Tickets are available for 0'Sullivan, OBE, as the commentator for the racing only il.50 at the trading desk, in the foyer at Every race has eight runners, each of whom is lunchtises and on the door. Be there Or be a identified by a saddlecloth numbered 1-8 and by Berd! the colour of the jockey's suit. Bets of 25p are placed by the guest on whichever runners they choose, when the betting stops, a guest is invited to choose one of the sealed containers at random.Tiie seal is broken and the race is projected on the screen. The cheering and the excitement begins as the "race is run", a winner is declared and the winnings are shared out based on a simple tote system. The films feature a number of close finishes and will be shown in slow motion replay. Programmes of the races will be available on the door for 20p with horses and of the races some of which we have obtained sponsors for. The kind sponsors we have to thank are Mr. John Merrill of the NatWest bank on campus,The University Bookshop Guildford Automatics, The Leeds Permenant Building Society and finalyy the Phoenix Brewery Company. There will be a master of ceremonies to entertain you on the evening which will start around 8.30pm Please do come along for a free balloon,rosette or Jockey hat even if you don't want to bet anything. I assure you you'll miss out otherwise..so lets got to the races!!! THE STARS OF HEAVEN @ 10 F MASJERCA^jrr^ ^ (GRADUATE) nnANAGEMENT TRAINEES GENERAL MANAGEMENT WITHIN A WhoJ^ W0? Mastercare are the Dixons Group's after sales Service Company. We are the counfr/s leading electrical servicing SERVICEOrganisation, employingINDUSTRY. over2,000 people atsites throughoutthe U.K. Why Graduate Being partof Dixons means being partofa success story Trainees? and for Mastercare this means an exciting penod of continuous expansión and business deveiopment Speclficaily. we are deveioping a new generation of Sen/ice Centres and we need to strengthen our management resource. What Training? At the end ofthe day the iength ofthe training period wiii depend on your own abiilty. You will spend the first 9 months famiilarising yourself with our business and culture throughout the country by attachments to specific area Operations. Following this you wili be based at a specific Service Cenfre working in a Une funcfíon. Throughout the training period you wiii be directly invoived in the business with each stage based on project work. What Management? A Manager within a Service Centre is a General Managerin the fuil sense with both profìt and cast accountabillties. There is a strong emphasis on people management, on customer reiations, and on planning and resource Organisation. The Service Centre Manager ofiarger Service Centres wiii be responsible for managing a business unlt with a £2M-h turnover and over 80 staff. What'sonOfter? As a Trainee you will be paid £8,500per annum PLUS an allowance to meetyour accommodation and subsistence costs whiiston the training Programme. As forthe future then your performance wiii dictóte howfar and how quickly you will move through the Organisation but within 18 months you shouid be holding down your first Uve management appointment HowtoApply? We will be holding interviews at your University on Monday 2nd March. Application forms can be obtalned from your Careers Office where further Informaron on the Company is also held. Foliowing the interviews, successful candidates wlilbe invited to an Assessment Centre commencing on the evening of Friday 20 March and fínishing in the aftemoon ofSunday22 March. Job offers will then be mode by Friday 27 March. Application forms mustbe retumed to the Careers Office by Wednesday ISth February. |A Dixons Group Company 11 ^CAREERS SERVICE'^ COnPüTER APTITUDE TEST COLUMIM THE CAREERS SERVICE IS RUNNIN6 Seing Interviewed (Part 2) A COMPUTER APTITUDE TEST FOR STUDENTS In last week's "Careers Colutnn" I talked generally about the problems you will have to confront when you WANTING TO FIND OUT WHETHER OR NOT are being interviewed for a job. This week I would like to deal with some of the specific personal THEY SHOULD CONSIDER A CAREER IN COMPUTING. questions which previous finalises have found difficult (Rôfer also to the Careers Service leaflet "Final Selection Procédures" for further exançles). THE TEST WILL TAKE PLACE The conmonest is "Tell me about yourself". It may AT 2 P.M. seem odd that the interviewer should ask this when your application form is in front of him but, in fact, ic is asked with several purposes in mind; to enable ON WED 11 FEBRUARY you to settle down by replying to what should be an 'easy' question, and to see both how you organise and IN LT B present your reply, and how you market yourself. There are many ways of tackling-this question but, how- ONLY 20 PEOPLE CAN BE ACCOMMODATED ever you do, remember the golden principles: "Be clear, concise, to the point and, above ail, don't bore". AT ONE SITTING, SO MAKE SURE You might wish to cover the following points, among YOU HAVE RE6ISTERED YOUR NAME WITH CAREERS others: - a brief self-introduction BY TUES 10 FEBRUARY - what câreer you seek, and why - your university éducation; in particular, why you chose your course and why Surrey University. - your school record (but be brief on this'.) - non-academic achievements, responsibilities and interests, both ioside and outside university. It is well worth thinking this one through in advance, ^CAREERS SERVICE* as it is a likely question; a well-prepared answer can give you the self-confidence to succeéd in the rest of the interview. Another favourite question which can occur in several ST. VALENTINES BALL guises is "What are your career plans for the next ten years?" An équivalant question asked last year was "At what âge do you expect to reach management status and, if you have not made it by then, what will you do? Saturday 14th February 1987 Again, you should think your answers out beforehand, both generally and for a specific employer. If you Wates House. Spm - Midnight. can handle the général question of "ten years on", the tDore specific questions in the same vein should give few problems. Beware of being too specific on one FORMAL DRÉSS hand or too général on the other. The interviewer is looking for a sense of realism, and the glib answer will lose you valuable points. Includes: Live Band, Radio Surrey Another kind of personal question is to ask you about your good or bad points, good or bad experiences, etc. and Buffet meal, The interview is not a confessional, so décidé in advance those sins you are prepared to acknowledge'. Tickets only 6 pounds from: A careful choice of weak points can, in fact, almost be a hidden strength; for example, "I don't suffer fools gladly" has the positive implication that you Louisa Nutt, Wells 3/3 Battersea Ct, set high standards for others (and presumably yourself) Nik Atkinson, Blackwater 1/4 Surrey Ct. You may also be asked about your réactions to situations or people. Try to ençhasise a positive attitude, and I would repeat that the interview is not A stand in tiie Union will sel! tickets a confessional. Next week I will discuss ways of dealing with other during the week leading up to the kinds of question which have given problems in the past. ball. Peter Swift DANCE SOCIETY 12 . Whatever the after dinner pur- suits of toda/s undergraduate, one questìon "sure to crop up over the coffee is the correa approach VotsoiTivial to business success. Across the board achievement at university has shown that success is not a matter of chance. Any route worth taking will be a demanding one, involving high-quaiity training for professional qualifications, enabling you to meet the varied challenges of a business careec Throwing yet another six, you realise that it would be only sensible to join an accountancy and management consuhancy fìrm able to set an outstanding example of performance and innovation. Pondering the card in front of you, you'll realise that these are not trivial questions. The answer to the first one, fortunately, is simple. Write to David Weeks at Coopers & Lybrand. Plumttee Court, London EC4A 4HX or contact your careers a^visory service. We will be visiting Surrey University in late February. If you wish to apply for an interview you should complete an employer's application form and hand it to your careers service by February 3rd. STOP PRESS l We are keen to receive applications from students wishing to join our ofilces in West London (Uxbridge), Readìng, Southampton and Maidstone. tiivuiR/art jHotnAooolBanie HeoitnJIiyHiiiiAim THwnalcnoillO.owrw « liadema'k IÌNISIPWWIC 13 THEATRE PREVIEWS FILM 6UIDE YVONNE ARNAUD What's On Caugftt In The Act Is cow stowiuA ät th« Yvor.n^ Arnaud Theatrs. This la a saucv coaedv =0"; in Francé a- to« ODEON, EKOH ROAD bejiluning of fae ceatury. Gabrl-slle Irake ^ of Screen 1 - CROCODIIg D^DBB - A film in two parts for Crossroads fame) plays the extremèiv filrtatlous music xtyçes of audience. Photogiäphy lovers will enjoy the hall -star who causes havoc amsn/st the senior m^n of fïrèt half irtiich follows a female journalist's mis- Justice. adventures in Mick 'Crocodile* Dunoee's impressive The costumes and stage si^tâ are splendid and the plays looking outback home. Ihe other half follows his ad- comes togsther well due co a verv good c^st. This Dlav ventures in her home, New York, It's this part"'which should appeal to most people and ruas unti! the 7th is by far •thë'Tumiiest as Hogan takes a bita out of Feb. Standby tlckeys are enly ¿2 to students àub.iect to the Big Apple with his innocence and charm. rfarmly availab.llltv. Evening perforEarces start 7.45pm. To recommended, but be wamed - get there early as nost book nhone 04â3 60191. shows aire likely to seil out! Times - Sun 7.30 Week 2.20 (5.15) 8,00. Screen 2 - RAW DEAL - Muscle bound Arnold Schwarzewot- hisnane employs his usual subtlety to destroy evexy- thing and everyone that gets in his way - in this case the Mafia. Streets ahead of Stallone as our Amie doesn't take hiraself too seriously. Violent, macho mayhem for those who llke it. Times - Sun 4.20 7.20 Week 2.10(5.10)7.50 Screen 3 - PEGGÏ SUE GOT MARRIED - Se.e Phil' review. Times üun 4.ÌU '/.UU WéékZi...... 5 C5.05). 8.10 •^më's in brackets are bargain shows. All seats £1.40. GAKHOM. WOODBRIDCa ROAD Cannon 1 - IHE GOLDE« CHILD - Eddie »Kiss my ase' Hur- phy wisecracking ^as usuai) his way through a ludicr- ous plot involving Murphy as 'the chosen one* - the only person who can save the child of the title from the clutches of sraoothly evil Charles Dance (master- fully nasty). Ihe special.effects are by George Lucas* ILM, but the rest is a typical Eddie Murphy vehicle. It all seems pretty good, tut the question is, can Eddie do anything eise? THORNDIKE Times - Sun 4.30 7.30 Week 3.30 5.50 8.10. Same Tims K^t' Year by Bernard Sladé. THis inc^restla«: Cannon 2 - HEARTBURN - Less of a heartbum, more a play is now showing at the Thor adike Ln Leather head case of chronic flatulence with Jack Nicholson and úntíl the 7th of Feb. The sattln? for tas rojsantic t&'.v Meryl Streep suffering from a windy script vrtiich says is â guest cottage in a countrv Inn in Kort n nothing new about love, marriage and infidelity. How- hei California. The thread of the story foilowô xie viariv ever, depending on taste, the quality of the perform- adulterouä of l'Oria. (Sabina frankiln' ances mi^t redeera this film for you. Weekends an'.; George < John Chalks) from 1951 and tiur In« thè limes - Sun 4.15 7.15 Week 2.35 5.10 7.^5. years the 11 ves of the twa loviìrs Bâture and chaa«'^ Ol-TJ - Sun/Mon 6.00 & 9.00pm - ROCKY IV - Stallone dons considerably and yet the two aiwavs aerit for thw aara^ "îFe stars and stripes and beats the s—t out of a weekend each year desolta their sculltv iesÄinirs; nasty Russki - you can tell him coz he wears a black The two characters artr deyeiooed and tbe play gumshield. Hooray for the U.S.A.J Guest tickets £1.50 becomes especiallv cunoeilin« durlasr the second e-'t. from U.T.D. This production Is definltelv worth a trío to Pete 'n' Phil. Leatherhead and alsost guaranteeu to dlsc<öl 'hose Winter blues. Performances at '.."JOsa (wiCD-^wav ani Friday Opa and Saturdav motinee jum'. Star.Q'jv tiiike'.ji H-iViarf - PaaOY SUS CX>T MARRIED nay be available to students. For r'jr'.i-ir inforssT ring Leath^rhead 377677. Peggy Sue, an estranged housewife (Kathleen Turner) Buffers a nervous breaJcdown whilst attending a hi^ Finn« Hotätlen Koc-re school reunion 4-wakes up in 1959* finding herseif to B? aote-PläÄfis writs '".l'^arly in future! be 17 once more. She therefore has the chance to ruhape her life - most importantly her unhappy marriage to her womanising slob of a husband, Nicholas Gage. Does the plot sound vaguely familiar? Yes, a coraparison witó Back To Ihe FViture is inevitable but unfair as *Pe^ Sue' attempts to address a similar theme, but on a différent level and with a différent audience in mind. 'Ihe resuit is very oleasing indeed, especially for the near perfect performance from Kathleen Tumer as a 1980s woman reliving a bygone age of innocence through worldly wise eyes. The script is consistently flmny and touching, if a little predictable and pessimistic (as it pushes the notion that there is very little we can do to control cîestiny). The fila also marks the return to form of director Francis Coppella, this being his most satisfying work since Apocoiypse Now. If you can't get in to see Crocodile Dundee, this is a more than adequate alter- native S 14 Dear Ed. Last Saturday 1, with 25,000 others. including women, children and enjs grandparents, marched to wapping giving our support to the 5,500 printworkers sacked by Rupert Murdoch ; reward for helping Murdoch build his publishing empire. The Jobs have been stolen by workers willing to accept lesë in Job recognition and Job condition. Bare Facts have received the following (anonymous) letter. Whilst it is not our What met us at Wapping, where we had policy to print anything anonymous, we been invited to listen to speeches from would like to hear more from H.A.M M.Ps., Trade Unionists and T.V. whomsoever s/he is. We would also like our personalities, was horrific, a police readers views on any such column. line of riot shields. helmets and truncheons. A police state in Britain. To whom it may concern, Behind which stood the horseback police Hello. 1 have an who charged trying to push their way to idea for Bare Facts, and this is: To open the peacefull Reugh area. I can't a column for students who want to mai-ry. describe the brutality that took place Introduce them and their aim and against all, young, old man G woman. condition. If you do so 1 will be the. The protesters weren't blameless but first one to write you again and tell you they weren't the instigators of the my full name. Believe me. I'm verv serious violence and were in no way as viscious and I'm not making a ioke. So I'm waiting ds*the police. for your answer' in next Rare Facts. Our Government have stated they with regards refuse to take part in industrial H.A.M action. This is a lie as they allow tax payers money to be used to enable Rupert Well Readers, what do YOU think - Murdoch to increase his profits, against views, suggestion» (entries?) to the BF the fact he has employed a new group of box by 5,30 next Tuesday please. printers, using the tax payers-protected profits to leak out of our economy into Dear BF, the American economy where he is trying Just when you thought that the to develop a T.V. empire. people in Manchester were safe from its Next time you see riot police being Police Chief Jaities Andertoij!! He's now used against people taking industrial thought to be in charge of His publicity action, think who is paying for the division! Spotted in last weeks BF police. (Notices Fg 17) Please make yours a Sun free zone, and don't forget the Times/Sunday Times are also Murdochs. Douglas Hurd, you have been warned! A Jones Yours sincerely HCC Dept. -J.,.. JC - Haeel Fai-m Dear Editor, Dear Mr. Editor, I am writing to you to express my opinion of the Veil done, I for one never had any article concerning AIDS which I have Just seen in doubt about your victory. And so, to commemorate the BF office awaiting publication.I sincerely this auspicious occasion, I have once again put feel that such pictures combined with such words pen'to paper, and composed thi« little poemette: will be offensive to many of our readers. Some of you may say I am hypocritical as I agreed to Dimble,Dimble,Dimble, support the AIDS motion at the GM last term , Your head is so like a thimble. however I did this as I felt that we do have a I think It's brill now that you're Ed. duty to help .advise and make people aware of the But will you stop wetting your bed! terrible disease AIDS which does killl I do not shrink from the seriousness of the Now that you're Ed. what will you do. subject, I do not pretend to be prim and proper Are you going to bring us something new? perfect or naive but I do think that this article A page three nude? Or a pop up picture? ridicules AIDS and even seems to be making a Joke Whatever you do Just get the right mixture. of it, for I'm sure that those of you that are not offended will Just laugh at the article! Do we have to use such language which I am Well, good luck, and remember the fate of the convinced may be offensive to a large number of previous Editor (God rest his trousers). our membership when we can equally convey the Yours, message and the true seriousness of the disease The unsold poet! AIDS by using medical, noo-aensationaliat words which everyone will still understand. P.S. I expect my commission is in the post. Students are educated they do not need to be Dear Editor, taught about AIDS with condescending language which suggests this is the only language they can On going into the Bare Facts office on Wednesday understand, evening, I am totally appalled by the drawings used in the sex education lesson by the Vice-President, The purpose of this letter is not to condemn the Heather Taylor. The Bare Facts team are compelled to Vice-President, she thought the style of the put the article in as it stands. article necessary I simply do not. . I believe everyone knows what sex and wanking are, I am also aware that the BF Editorial Board withou the help of the explicit drawings. requested permission to omit the article pending As for the art itself I believe the term sexual further discussion which was refused. intercourse would be more appropriate. Does Miss I have never written a letter of complaint to BF Heath.-«r Taylor get some perverted sensation ouj; of this before, and I do not like to be publicly kind of publication. controversial or upset anyone, but this is what I Yours disgusted, believe and I cannot apologise for that. Simon Lytton. Yours sincerely, Sports Sabbatical. The letters on this page do not Helen M Grime necessarily reflect the opinion Arts & Social Secretary of the Editor or the Editorial ( Sabbatical Officer) Board. 15 LOST, FOUND & WANTED •LOST at Free Disco: Gold llnk bracelet with safety catch, of great sentimental valué; if found please return Lots to do!! Our fund raiser is ia tùa Lower E-ar en to security or Katrina,Gillard SHC 36 ASAP Friday 27ch Feb. and should be a SC-:«. disco -IUA navi-s a •LOST One pair of black leather mototcycle gauntlets in band too. húüefullv wich suffis uí ti.« Ssadin? S .-î'jsssx the unión on Sunday 25th (Superbowl night). Please Club's »sabera in atteniianr^. Th«: Âalodtf triai Is on contact P/H M Dept. of Mech Eng. or place a -found' AD Ì3t Karch tore ' ftS sbac'h inss.•. tha ?1 or.eer run on 2ïnd in BF. Karch. the same dav as the EJfF-'VUA^Í 'exhicl-lon' at *LOST 1 black pencil case + pens and calculator. Taken Ripley. Plus there should b« the u-zd tub lyn snd navbe from LTA after BÜNAC meetlng Thursday 22nú January about a treasure hunt with mcto-club. 5.30pm. Please retum it to Tim Hall SHC 29B or dept. MSE The big event of the year i-s thé weeisnd i5»ie Xav it final year pigeon hole, as 1 cannot afford another the BKF rail v. Pwtersorough ^aoproii. '.50 nlle»'. Lots calculator etc! of food, drink. bikes, ra-jsic, isme-s. ejchlbits.accssorle.» •WANTED Anyone.wlth a 40 pint beer cask to sell contact and rain < sorry, sunshine^. The cost Is estuC^iwly. v.ood value f Parachute Club Di.9Co? Lower Bar - Friday 8pm. OiSANi MIENNl^E 1_MÎ_ « If you are interested in going PARACHUTING come to a meeting in the Some Important facts about the Grand Viennese Ball lower bar - Monday 2nd February 6pm. from the Music Dept. » BIKE CLUB - To be discussed[ BMF Rally, Disco & Pub runs, plus The Brands Hatch 1. What you get; a 4 course dinner,a Costumed dance Thrash E Trail Park Glugg display and music (for dancing to!) if Trip to see JOHN COOPER CLARKE Fri Feb by a s3rmphony orchestra and dance 20th. Details thru ROCK CLUB meetings on band, Thursdays 5.30 Rm- 103 (Well, theres 2. You can get a 10% discount at Hoss Bros basically no Lower Bar gigsH!) "Occasions"I « CND meeting in Rm 103 at 7pm on Monday 3. Uuch cheaper than the H&C do! 2nd Feb. 4. Twice as much fun!!! « Society for General Microbiology Lecture Of the Year. Tue 3rd January Lt A 5.30 "New Viral Vaccines for Old" by Prof B. Griffiths, Porton Down. All welcome. ^ CHEM SOC. Annual dinner and dance. Friday March 13th at the Burford Bridge Hotel. Box Hill. Tickets £15 including-a three course meal with wine, transport to and from campus and disco 'till 1.00am. Tickets available now from Vicky Frost or Richard Diamond 18AZ20 » LAW SOCIETY AGM on Men 16th Feb at 6pm - Rm 103 a CANOE CLUB • Lake District W/E Feb 6th/7th Grade 3/4 Luxury accomodation BCOQQQOQQ0006 etc. etc. £10 + food - Mondays and Wednesdays as normal (beginners welcome) * Canoe exhibition Feb 21st. GRAND See P/H and notice board for all the above. VIENNES « ROCK CLUB meeting Hm 103. Another thrilling instalment in the continuing story of Simple Folk - Thursday 5.30 BA J! Chinese Hour on Radio Surrey now on air every Friday B.30pm to 10.00pm. Announcements and deications played, fl RAIL SOC/VOYAGERS - Edinburgh Trip. URGENT message for ALL students with railcards. We expect this trip to be on SATURDAY 21/22 March (Not as previously 7th FEBRUARY 1987 advertised) Cost opprox £2S This will include return train fare. seats, accomoda Lion and break f aw L. Book ingii close FEB 3R0. Rest of term: Entire program recast due to Railcard Univenli vof Su rrcv promotiijn, see PH for details. « US BASES MEETING MONDAY 6.00PM TEACHING BLOCK 19. Videos of Samum S Circus Civic Hall, Guildford world championships after meeting. « CND meeting on 2nd. Feb. is at 7.00pm in Room 103, Price:£2 1 16 PERSONAIS *Leave those chip's alone Kully. •But why was Sugarpuff smiling????????????????????? *What do you mean 'barely' there was enough for • Vote Leon for Rag Sec.-he hasn't got a silly beard everyone III ~ UpperUpper St.Cath's. •Vote Jeff for RAG Sec.-he has got a silly beard!I!1 *The most unlikely person in Wells has professed •Who,the f***'B Leon anyway.If anyone knows this guy a desire to become a nun !11 then please...um...er,..um...die??????????????????? *Any more for the S.C.C.? Free six-pack to every •And Just in case ther's not enough personals member. •But Ur.Everton.you don'tlike Mars Bars!! I!!!!!!11 ! ! *Cathy when does the hunting season start ! ! I •But Anne-Tou should never start a sentence with *'Loverboy' Alex's threesome in 33 has been uncovered "and" or "but" So there's where his calories go to !1 •He's cool.^ie's bip,he'san alcoholic.He should be *Six is safe ! Rag Sec.It! Vote Leon" •Watch out for Plymouth, Davet! •Jeff uays'Vote Leon" *To the Bare Facts people. I would like to Inform •Leon saya"Sbeeeee it. i z^ you that I did actually get out of bed in the first week of term - the Bar was open you idiot's. •To the Psychology Dept.-55 nem students to Join Love and Cuddles+Kisses+or*****ms, 4/14. you on Uonday-they are Civ. Eng II. *'I hope you're not reading this Eate| love Fletcher. • That Personal was specifically for Helen because •Public notice - I.Roderick W. is requested to she found it funny???????????????????????????????? attend at least one lecture before the end of term. •Jeff says "F»»* OFF" *Tim Green - Hi sexy b*m, how about a drink •Leon can't even write his own personals-how can he sometime (or more )... R.S.V.P. SL. be capable of running Rag!!!!!(Nice try Simon) •Nicky Gilbert hasn't had :>any personals recently •I'm nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooocot •She must have found her clothes then ! ! 1 stupid, I'm on Civ Eng II.. •RMJ: Knowledge of bow to block your U-bend with a P.S. Love 'N' stuff to all luvvers of fun.Don't used propylapïic is only open to members of the forget the G.M. next TuesdasrfliOO where you can Sink Abuuser's Association - UPH"S" decide who will organise next years Rag Pun. •Ray - nice body ! Shame about the size !! - Anne. •By the way I have enough personals now! •We'd better not tell evryone why Mark's called Dopper, though. •But Anne, this is a construction materials lecture. THE BARE FACTS •Make us a dessert, Steve! •Oh Dopper, it's you ! Sorry I didn't recogni«« you Î0 COMMANDMENTS with your trousers on I ! ! •Be a masochist - tnke a Uech. Eng. Degree. Thou Shalt put thy name on all thine entries •No you can't sneak a pizza Eully, Thou Shalt submit all thine entries at 6.30pm •Dear Dimble, 4/14 regrets to say that her liver is on Tuesday, in no state to handle the Ram . 3) Thou Shalt submit all official columns by •Keep off the chocolate, Thunder Thighs t midday Wednesday. •Barney & Alice, if you're not busy Saturday, why not 4) Thou Shalt not bagger the Editor about. come to a concert? Guildford Registry Office, 10.30 5) Thou Shalt not have full names in thine personals Fancy Dress! Luv Andryushka 6) Thou Shalt pay thine Invoices proo^tly for thine •You shouldn't be reaing this you sm***y cleaner - adverts. get cleaning. 7) Thou Shalt obey the word of the Editor. •Helen's 'Clean up'censorship campaign starts today! 8) Thou shalt not make graven images of the Editor. •Q: Has Dimble slept on any good dogs recently. 9) Thou Shalt not desecrate the sanctity of BF. •Congratulations/Comiserations to the Pickard 2 10) Thou Shalt not covet thy neighbours Ox, ass or Maths Brains/Dunces (Delete as necessary) copy of BF. •Gill (4/13) - Don't worry, we'll find you a man by Feb.14th - S&R *'Jez, sorry...Happy 19th Birthday' V VOYAGERS •Sibley - happy birthday frm Wells 4 •Aquatic Reunion - time? Place -Compton. See you there ! love W4 •Nelson - Idon't think PINK is quite your colour, but it does suit Simon t! SPRING TERM PROGRAMME: •Log in the B^g Partili. See Tap & Spider for detail' details... •Drunk Druids shouldn't really take baths in their pyjamas - even though they night be in love I •Brookes - where do you dancers find the energy for all those men ??!I •To Christina, Kevin & Mary, thanks for the present, SAT. FEB. 7 Winchester love Allen. •Jez, some people get cards, some presents, some even get drinks bought but you're getting a personal SAT. FEB. 21 Stratford upon Avon in Bare Facts. •Z^ts,z^its,z»ts... if you eat any more chocolate can we all have a squeeze?!? SAT. MAR. 7 Canterbury •Had any good showers lately Kate ? •The boat sponge with two funnels hasn't been the same since Kate ! •Mark's hamster is getting Jealous coz hamsters SATySlIN MAR.2Í/2 Edinburgh don't like showers. ' •'Denise, it bl*^dy well is called BooBoo you Know!' •Russian Special: Do you need a break from work? Come & have a chat b a cup of coffee, any evening, FOR FULL DETAILS OF EVENTS Andy SHC 44 •Congratulations on your decision Andy-I'm sure CAMPOS MEETING IS TUESDAY 10 FEB. you'll win!11 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I!! ! ! IN LEC 'H" AT Í30pin •Who wants a Rag Sec Who wears womens clothes(even after Rag week!!!!!!!!!)???????????????????????? •Do you want me to name them or will you find out when you see the hands on Tuesday!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?? .Rallsöo. 17 WHAT'SON Rock Club wiii aat be cresentine anvthinj in tbe Lower Bar so so sasewL-sre else! 1.15 pm CU Vorld Foc-js Oroups in the Cuiet Centra. 7.30 DB CU main meeting in LT B "BacìE to Earth" with Sue Kitchsll. Everyons welcome. Konday 2nd 1.00 pm Motorcycle Club neetiai? in thè union. It's ne again!(Rspturous applaudasi!).Tbanks for tbe 5.30 PO - 6.30 am Sports Hall 3 - Jazz Darice for compliments on last weeks Guide (well one anyway!) beglnners. So,bere we go fans, eyes down! Ô.30 ora - 7.30 sm Every Konday - Ladies Seif- defence Soorts Hall S Friday 6.00 dm CU orayer meetina In the Ouiet Centre. lOpm C4 Cheers: forgot tbis one last week but you Ti^e^day 3rd should catch tbe Ist of a NEW 8.30 Dm Kotorcycle Club meetia? in xhe union. Serles. Saturday 5.30 pm - 6.30 pm Sports Hall E - Jazz Dance ior 5.45pm ITV A-Team: Essentàaàl tea time viewing more sKoerienced. 9.5pm BBC Carrott Confldential: subversive wit It 7.00 pm - 6.00 Dm SDorts Hall B - Conteaporary says in the Radio Times! Dance Class. 10. 45; ITV Damlen-Omen II: the continueing storrry! lOpm C4 An Audience with Hei Brooks: sorry about 5.30 pm Rock Club Meeting Em 103 the Order! 6.30 pn Christian Science Testiaony X6i?iina In Sunday 6âD21. All are welcome. llam C4 Worzel Gummidge: Aunt Sally agrees to marry Worzel 'an ee be 'appy! 5.40 BBC Antlques Roadshow: a pair of 18tb Century Irish buckets turn up being used to house hi-fi Speakers. The mind bogglesl! 6.15 C4 Aussle Rules Football: lavful rloting from Down-Under. First of ali a j^igantanormous thanks at iast wèe^ 7.15 BBC Last of the Summer Wine:Compo is the mug stuffers le; for testing Seymour's inventions again. Treb, Mark, Varren, Kob, Chris, AIL-Babe-à-"! -. "ril (of film coluim fame!). Barbara. Tulle. A-ian. llpm C4 A Midsummer Nigbt's Sex Comedy: Woody ->] Claire without an I and us lot again! Allen.Wot more can I say.(WelT I could say On to Wednesday's heipers: Cris, Seil flon« tüas lots but it wo'.ild use up vital column no see!). Richard Vlse (for the hard space,like the space this c**puused!!) news!>.Jeff.aoly Hippo, Paul PO the's gettin« the Monday hang of this typlng lark!). Dewi (that's me!». lOpm C4 Hill Street Blues Friday 5,10 BBCl Grange Hill: Will Imelda be expelled? 5.30 C4 The Tube:XTC,Mantronix and the Rainmakers. So if you're a groovy F*«#er watch it!!!! 10.00 C4 Cheera:about turn for Sam and Diane. 11.5 BBCl Film:Rosebud: Film hbout the Middle-East crisis. 11.15 BBC2 Film:High Sierra: Starring Humphy Bogie in a gangster movie. 18 There were a few bland faces at the AGM on Anybody interested in gymnastics, see Sally Edie Tuesday so, to clear up a few points, what I was in the Sports Hall. Coaching sessions start on referring to was Andy Bunn's Sports Officer's report Saturday,'7th February, I.00 p.m. - 2.40 p.m. 1985/Ô6. Firstly, I found Andy Bunn In the Upper Ear, not in the Library where I initially looked! Secondly, There is a balance of £170 (£10 extra surcharge) his wives have now been released (on the condition that now payable for the SKI TRIP to MARILLEVA, Italy. he finished the report). One Australian has returned to Melbourne, the other Aussie to Oxford and the American has gone back to Washington. It's amazing RESULTS. • Î?E.^ULTS. . RESULTS that some people can behave in this manner! Vednesday 2Sth Jan 87. Apologies to Richard Head for quoting the team Captain of Mo's Mentors as Adrian Thorogood in the Sugby 1st XV St Ifeiry's Lost 64-3 P.G.A. Sports Day report last week. It's just that 2nd XV Lost 44-4 you are both so similar - small, charismatic Hockey Mens 1st XI Brunei Draw 2-2 Last Sunday, five girls from Surrey took part in *-« 2nd XI " »» the South UAU Netball Tournament at Surreyt Bridget Irish, Jancis McGrady, Mary Tse, Alison Callwood, Hazel Strudwick. Altogether, four teams took part between Soccer 1st XI City Von 3-0 11.30 a.m. - 3.30 p.m. As a result there was no 2nd XI " Von 4-1 Intercourt Sport, but it starts again this week with 3rd XI " Lost 2-0 Mixed Football. The table looks like this after last terms - Guildford Court 66 points Badminton Kens 1st VI Loughborough Lost Surrey Court 47 " 2nd VI Newcastle Sot known Stag Hill Court 35 " Cathedral Court 27 " SUPERBOWL Battersea Court 25 " "I had to make them pay." - Phil Simms' Peter Kingston is Cathedral Court's new Sports Rep. secret behind his record-smashing and now Nirmal has retired, the other Courts might performance in the Super Bowl XXI on stand a chance of winning!! Sunday evening. Simms won the Man of the Match award with his incredible 88X The Ski team went to Alpe D'huez, France, this completion average beating the old record Christmas. There were more than 300 racers, but the of 73.9X. He also won a luxury saloon car following three did exceptionally wells- worth $50,000. Simms, who had to battle Special Giant Combined through , the fans' jeers and endless Slalom Slalom injuries explained "This makes up for all the rubbish I've had to take over the Ladles' A Julie Stone 5 th 4th 5 th years." Men'8 A Adrian Oliver 11th 7th 5th "Before the match everybody was talking Men's B Magnus Hedlund 2nd 2nd Ist about Elway and his passing game. I never It sounds as if a lot of the skiers managed to fall, got a mention." He adâed "The Broncos thus spoiling Surrey Unvlersity's chance of a team showed me no respect, I had to make them prize. pay. " The 30-year old quarterback hit the top Of the men, one of our guys did manage to beat a after half time, connecting 10 straight Frog from Grenoble University during a parallel slalom passas for a match winning 165 yards- 2 where the English raced the French Universities. touchdown burst to make the Broncos pay for a pre-match insult. SPORTS STANDING COMMITTEE: Items for the agenda to be The Broncos were the first to score handed in to the Sports Office by Monday, 2nd February, with Rich Karlis taking a field goal just for Che meeting on Thursday, 5th February, at 5.00 p.m. 4 minutes 9 seconds into the game. The in Room 103. first quarter ended with the Giants 10-7 down, and at half time they were still JUMPERS8 Orders, together with the money, to Che trailing 10-9. Sports Office by Friday, 6th February, 1987. However once they scored the first second half touchdown, the team say they The groundsmen at Manor Farm have done a great job were sure they would win. in preparing Che pitches after the snow. Please keep Denver were left to reflect on two out of the goal mouths and off the pitches if possible missed first half field goals by Karlis before Che matches sCart (Hockey and Soccer). that left the barefoot kicker sobbing in their deathly-silent locker room. (Karlis After the AIDS scare recently, more attention actually broke a record too - for the has been paid to sporting injuries. I have been given shortest missed field goal. He beat the a paper on the subject, so, if interested, please ask. old record of 27 by 4 yards.) However, the main point raised is the use of bucket and Even the music proved appropriate as at sponge which is totally unacceptable for cases of cuts lialf time, the Giants charged back onto and abrasions. Lhe field to Frank Sinatras "New York, New •York" chorused by the ma.jority of the SALLY'S BIT! 101,000 crowd. Vacancies still exist for the following classes: The Giantr. won 39 - 20 (in case you Golf, Yoga, Jazz Dance, Badminton, Squash, Dry-skiing, didn't already know?) Fencing, Archery, Ballet and Self defence. Please sign up at the Sports Hall now. Giants 7 17 13 - 39 Fitness classes are free, and aerobics is back Broncos tO in the Main University Hall from 2nd February. 0 10 - 20