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Living in the In-Between As an Ismaili Muslim Woman: an Autoethnography

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Living in the In-Between As an Ismaili Muslim Woman: an Autoethnography Living in the in-between as an Ismaili Muslim woman: An autoethnography by Shemine Alnoor Gulamhusein BA, University of Waterloo, 2009 MA, University of Victoria, 2013 A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY in the School of Child and Youth Care Shemine Alnoor Gulamhusein, 2018 University of Victoria All rights reserved. This thesis may not be reproduced in whole or in part, by photocopy or other means, without the permission of the author. ii Supervisory Committee Living in the in-between as an Ismaili Muslim woman: An autoethnography by Shemine Alnoor Gulamhusein BA, University of Waterloo, 2009 MA, University of Victoria, 2013 Supervisory Committee Dr. Daniel Scott School of Child and Youth Care Supervisor Dr. Maria Carmen Rodriguez de France School of Child and Youth Care Departmental Member Dr. Mehmoona Moosa-Mitha School of Social Work Outside Departmental Member iii Abstract Supervisory Committee Dr. Daniel Scott, School of Child and Youth Care Supervisor Dr. Maria Carmen Rodriguez de France, School of Child and Youth Care Departmental Member Dr. Mehmoona Moosa-Mitha, School of Social Work Outside Departmental Member This autoethnographic research project explores how a first-generation Canadian Ismaili Muslim, grapples with the tensions of belonging and identity while living in the in-between spaces of multiple social locations. Using an intersectional third-wave feminist approach, a method I term “third-wave dervish”, I metaphorically spin in a similar manner to a whirling dervish. Each spin provokes a round of critical reflection grounded in a node of intersect. Throughout the dance, how each node of intersect – religion and spirituality, geographical location, ethnicity and culture, and gender – implicates the in-between spaces I find myself located within, on the periphery of, and wavering between is explored. Narratives from my early years, adolescence, as a young adult in a graduate classroom, and as a young practitioner serve as data. For the first time, during re-iterations of memories, experiences of being minoritized and racialized are acknowledged and I begin to challenge gender binaries and offer insight into how I unknowingly negotiated and navigated complex social spaces. Personal experiences and reflections are then translated beyond the self to offer insight into how human and social development practitioners can use the key findings of how a brown-bodied female moved through childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. The dissertation offers suggestions for practitioners to actively engage in, understand, and respond to children and youth’s verbal and non-verbal responses to experiences they are having. In addition, the text outlines the benefit of iv and ways in which practitioners may encourage difficult conversations with clients who are minoritized, and how to foster safe spaces for children, youth, and young adults to explore their sense of belonging and identity. Key Words: (1) Intersectionality, (2) In-between Spaces, (3) Ismaili Muslim, (4) Belonging, and (5) Identity v Table of Contents Supervisory Committee ................................................................................................................ ii Abstract ......................................................................................................................................... iii Table of Contents .......................................................................................................................... v List of Figures ............................................................................................................................... ix Acknowledgments ......................................................................................................................... x Dedication ..................................................................................................................................... xi Glossary ....................................................................................................................................... xii Chapter 1 ....................................................................................................................................... 1 Training for the Dance ................................................................................................................. 1 My Dance ....................................................................................................................................... 7 Allowing side-stepping ............................................................................................................................ 8 Parallel Dance: My Embodied Experiences .................................................................................................... 9 Chapter 2 ..................................................................................................................................... 12 Preliminary Whirls in Current Literature ............................................................................... 12 Parallel Dance: A Note on Process ................................................................................................................ 12 Grappling with Feminism ..................................................................................................................... 16 Nodes of Intersectionality ..................................................................................................................... 24 Parallel Dance: Beyond the Four Nodes ........................................................................................................ 25 Religion and spirituality ....................................................................................................................... 26 Geographical Location .......................................................................................................................... 33 Ethnicity and Culture ........................................................................................................................... 37 Gender .................................................................................................................................................... 40 vi Tying It All Together ............................................................................................................................ 44 Parallel Dancing: Physically Moving from Literature to Methodology ........................................................ 45 Using the Whirling Dervish as a Method ............................................................................................ 48 Let’s Dance ............................................................................................................................................. 51 Chapter 3 ..................................................................................................................................... 52 Method – Third-Wave Dervish .................................................................................................. 52 Data Narration ....................................................................................................................................... 56 Re-interpreting the Data ....................................................................................................................... 59 Parallel Dance: Practical Description of Method .......................................................................................... 62 Autoethnography Limitations .............................................................................................................. 63 Working through constant re-interpretations .................................................................................... 66 Consistently an insider .......................................................................................................................... 67 Ethical Research Considerations ......................................................................................................... 69 Potential risks and benefits ................................................................................................................... 69 Confidentiality ....................................................................................................................................... 70 Chapter 4 ..................................................................................................................................... 72 Whirling in my early years......................................................................................................... 72 Resisting faith-based learning .............................................................................................................. 73 Faith-based Girl Guides ........................................................................................................................ 75 Balancing My Spinning ......................................................................................................................... 77 Whirling as a Girl .................................................................................................................................. 79 Spinning in the Nodes of Religion, Ethnicity and Culture ................................................................ 86 Parallel Dance: Bringing the Body to Call ...................................................................................................
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