The College Hill Independent

“No husbands, just a female lineage with a strawberry matriarch, all holding hands underground.” -pg. 18 table of contents from the editors news In February, this publication followed local sex educator But ultimately, we understand that language can be divi- 2 Week in Review Megan Andelloux’s struggles in opening her Center for Sex- sive. In the present issue, we have Socialist US Senate candi- The ethicists ual Pleasure and Health (“The Push for Pleasure” 2/4/2010). date Dan Holtz explaining that in his early days of political MCI, EG, BI-B, MP We are happy to report that, following the zoning board’s activism, as soon as he spoke the word “Socialist” he was told approval, the center is open and thriving. to go to Russia (page 3). 3 Socialism Sadly, it has come to our attention that one of Andelloux’s Is not a dirty word in OH detractors has not relented in her dissent, and has since used We’re holding out for the day when socialists and domi- Simone Landon an archived Indy interview with Andelloux (“Providence natrices can conduct their affairs in broad daylight without Talks” 11/6/2008) to fuel personal attacks. anyone batting an eye; when journalists can wield their full In the introduction to the interview, we incorrectly re- vocabularies without needless hopscotching over charged metro ferred to Andelloux as a dominatrix; she is in fact only an terms. educator in the realm of BDSM with regards to sexual health. But until then it’s the words that count, not the intentions 4 Cops selling drugs Like Andelloux’s opponent, we were drawn to the term. behind them—and so we’d like to retract the characteriza- Bad boys, bad boys It’s musical, gendered, and racy. We thought it would attract tion. Megan Andelloux is not, in fact, a dominatrix. We Kat Stoeffel readers. Andelloux informs us that not only has the incorrect apologize for the mistake. dominatrix distinction made her liable to prissy judgment, 5 Water levels it also has the potential to disqualify her sexual educator’s –EMS, KSS, ASV A flood charticle license. George Warner & Robert Sandler Which is disappointing. We trust that in a truly sex-positive, Andelloux-educated world, “dominatrix” and “BDSM” 7 Tick season would only signify flavors other than vanilla: delicious, but Lyme Disease education and advocacy nothing to write home about. This publication attended the Nora Bosworth Fetish Flea Market in Providence in February—and found it just another testament to consumer banality. features

8 virtual volunteers Army recruitment today Ephemera AS IF YOU CARE Katie Jennings

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playlist get in touch For your hip BBQ Nupur Shridhar Email: [email protected] Blog: theindy.org/blog theindy.org 14 dialogue Twitter: @maudelajoie Tony Tost theindy.org The College Hill Independent Erik Font PO Box 1930 theindy.org Brown University theindy.org 15 pressure cooker Providence RI 02912 Opening a sustainable restaurant theindy.org Marguerite Preston staff science Mega Porn Star: Raphaela Lipinsky 16 tree people Managing Editors: Erin Schikowski, Kat Stoeffel, Alex Verdolini Cover Editor: Emily Martin Verde literature News: Marisa Calleja, Beatrice Igne- Illustrations: Samantha Ballardini, Becca Tarah Knaresboro Bianchi, Marguerite Preston Levinson, Emily Martin, Robert Sandler Metro: Rachel Levenson, Katie Lindstedt, Design: Robin Davis, Liat Werber, Yue Pang, Jesse Strecker, George Warner Natalie Uduwela, Joanna Zhang literary Opinions: Jordan Carter, Eli Schmitt Web: Daniela Postigo, Adam Zethraeus Features: Alexandra Corrigan, Alice Hines, Katie New Media: Kate Welsh 17 meltdown Jennings, Hannah Sheldon-Dean, Laura Tsunoda Senior Editors: Nick Greene, Simone Landon, Prose poetry Arts: Ryan Wong, Erik Font Margo Irvin, Miguel Morales, Emily Segal Maria Anderson Literary: Kaela Myers, Rachel Sanders Staff Writers: Malcolm Burnley, Emily Science: Sam Dean, Nupur Shridhar Gogolak, Eran Hornick, Corrie Tan Sports: Simon van Zuylen-Wood Staff Illustrators: Drew Foster, Paola Eisner, Jessica Food: Nick Werle Daly, Amanda Greenberg, Isabel Khoo x X Page: Gillian Brassil Cover: The Adirondack Historical Society and Chill Dry Neon List: Lola Bates-Campbell, Margo Irvin MVP: Robert Sandler, Becca Levinson 18 patent Image + text Gillian Brassil the college hill independent april 8, 2010 week in review

b y M a r g o i rv in, marguerite preston, emily gogolak, and beatrice igne-bianchi illustration by E m i ly M a rt i n

Watership Down PANTS ON THE GROUND

Among the casualties of the Deluge of ’10: four Easter It’s a grave problem that has plagued American society for de- bunnies, who drowned in a Warwick Mall portrait studio cades. We’ve all seen it. On the street we pass by those who do last week. The mall was evacuated March 30 as the parking it and shake our heads in wonder. We ask ourselves, “How lot began to flood, and Portrait Simple employees claim do they keep it up?” Now New York State Senator Eric police officers told them not to bring the rabbits along. Adams has an answer. After witnessing a case of this public According to Portrait Simple’s statement, “They were blight firsthand on the subway, he decided to fight back. only concerned with getting all of the employees Last week he launched a campaign to spread this simple out safely. They said we could come back later, message: Youth of America, pull up your pants. so our employees left the bunnies with a lot of Adams used $2,000 from his campaign funds food expecting to return later on.” to pay for his “Stop the Sag” initiative. He has But the Warwick Mall was hit hard by erected six billboards in Brooklyn that feature the area’s most devastating flood since be- a picture of two young men from behind, fore Roger Williams. A mall security guard pants practically around their knees, display- had to be rescued by boat; inside, water ing their boxer-clad cheeks in all their glory. rose 20 inches high and damaged tens of Slogans on the signs read: “WE ARE BET- thousands of dollars’ worth of property. TER THAN THIS! STOP THE SAG!” and Apparently, the rabbits’ cage fell from a “RAISE YOUR PANTS, RAISE YOUR high-up shelf and all four went to Bunny IMAGE!” Heaven. Along with the billboards, Adams also In an antediluvian inquiry by PETA, issued a message in the form of a YouTube Portrait Simple’s director of operations said video. Over a montage of images of minstrelsy that their Easter bunnies were “well cared and other historical racial caricatures and the for, played with, coddled, and loved by our mournful strains of a violin he says: “Through- team members.” According to PETA’s press re- out history, in every society, cultures have had to lease, the studio “refused PETA’s request to stop endure negative caricatures and stereotypes imposed subjecting bunnies to the stress and mishandling on them.” Now, he goes on, these stereotypes are self- commonly associated with the use of rabbits as props imposed in the “insidious spectacle among some of our in Easter photo shoots, and now four bunnies are dead.” young people whenever they walk down the street with The Portrait Simple bunnies have become martyrs for their pants sagging.” The trend of sagging pants, PETA’s Easterly anti-“rabbit fever” cause: a PETA blog post Adams notes, originated in prison culture, where a responding to the bunny deaths argued that “Retailers pimp lack of belts makes it hard to keep ill-fitting uniform out live rabbits without giving them the care that they need.” pants up. Such negative connotations are exactly A number of portrait studio chains (like those in Target, what he wants to fight. He hopes that his campaign JCPenney’s, and Sears stores) have opted for stuffed Easter will encourage youth to “raise their respect” and bunnies in lieu of their flesh-and-blood brothers and sisters convince them street cred does not go up in relation after pickets by PETA members objecting to the Hallmarki- to how much your ass is hanging out. fied slavery of living creatures. Forthcoming: PETA’s petition Because really, one needs to see that. against factory farms where Peeps® are forced to lay chocolate eggs in inhumane conditions. —MP

—MCI

Check out my urinal Sorry, dr. bloom

Ever since Marcel Duchamp shocked the world in 1917 with his epic urinal, Graded papers shoved out of the way, heavy petting—and more—on an antique “Fountain”, the line between art and the everyday has grown fuzzier, and all the hardwood desk, buttons popping off your Ralph Lauren shirt, and that dreamy more contentious. Who knew a lavatory receptacle could be an epic work of art, English professor whispering iambic pentameter in your ear. That’s what Ivy and that going to the bathroom could be a potentially aesthetic experience? League wet dreams are made of. And often times, maybe too often at Yale, these The rebel raised some posthumous hell last week when an Italian art dealer, dreams are realities. No more sex during office hours. Arturo Schwarz, revealed four previously unknown replicas of the famous loo, After roughly 27 years of debate over teacher-student romances, Yale’s new theindy.org which brings the total number of copies to 19. Duchamp is known to have made policy in the faculty handbook bans its members from engaging in sexual rela- theindy.org 15 signed copies of “Fountain” in Italy in the early ’50s and ’60s. Coveted by col- tionships with undergraduates. It was once acceptable for professors to get frisky theindy.org lectors, museums, and galleries worldwide, all 15 have now been sold—and for or even seriously date their students if they had no “direct pedagogical or supervi- no small price. In 1990, Sotheby’s New York auctioned one of the signed urinals sory responsibilities,” but even then, as Deputy Provost Charles Long has argued theindy.org for $1.8 million. Buyers, however, may be getting a dose of remorse as authentic- since 1983, those relationships can be destructive for students. However, the rules theindy.org ity becomes increasingly questionable with the discovery of new replicas. for affairs between professors and graduate or professional students, and between How real are the nouveaux Duchamps? The question has the art world in graduate students and undergrads, have stayed the same. The new policy applies a ruckus. Schwarz, a dealer in Milan and a friend of the artist, is selling the strictly to sophomoric college kids and those who, to a certain degree, hold power nineteenth urinal for a steep $2.5 million. He helped Duchamp make twelve and authority over their undergraduate careers. Long told Yale Alumni Magazine copies in 1964 and now claims that the four unsigned “Fountains” were excluded that a “responsibility to protect students from behavior that is damaging to them for imperfections. Details are vague, however, and Schwarz is withholding the and to the objectives for their being here.” To get As the honest way. particulars of the other three discovered pieces. The hotly debated issue was discussed among a “large number of faculty For many, the story looks pretty fishy. Francis Naumann, a dealer and Duch- people” last fall before receiving approval from both the executive and the Faculty amp expert, told the Economist, “For Duchamp, the signature was everything. It of Arts and Sciences steering committees. Long told the magazine that adminis- is the single most important element in the process of transforming an ordinary trators resisted his relationship recommendation in the past because they wanted everyday object into a work of art.” No signature, no chance. Another Duchamp a uniform campus policy, and also in part because female undergraduates viewed aficionado suggested that the urinals not be considered authentic, but rather “‘in the ban as paternalistic. (Have they forgotten about the Carolynn Hatcher junior the manner of’ or ‘attributed to’ Marcel Duchamp.” high sex-cum-pregnancy scandal?) The urinal was art because Duchamp said so. But is Schwarz’s replica authen- Furthermore, Long told the magazine that most faculty members were un- tic because he says so? We’ll have to wait and see. And maybe steal a urinal or two aware these types of relationships were not already prohibited (well, that ship has from the boys bathroom in the meantime. sailed). Yale students may have trouble reverting back to sleeping in XL twin sized beds, free dining hall dates, and hitting the books—not the bed—hard. But as —EG Long recalls one faculty member saying, “It really is kind of simple. Parents don’t send their kids to Yale to sleep with their professors. Why don’t we say that?” And the moral of the story? Appease those who pay the tuition.

—BI-B

april 8, 2010 theindy.org national | 3 m e n o n w i r e s o c i a l i s t f o r s e n at e Third Party Politics in America’s Heartland B y S i m o n e L a n d o n

The current media coverage of third party politics in this Last week, the progressive blog Swiftspeech compared Dan to country caters more to the Eric Deatons than the Dan La the late comedian George Carlin. They have the same white, Botzes, but Dan sees this moment as an opening. He doesn’t billygoat beard and antagonistic speaking style. In a YouTube think the Left is out of the picture. He told The Cincinnati clip of one of his standup shows, Carlin challenges the audi- Beacon, “We can also see [discontent] in the demonstrations ence to repudiate the two major parties, which he sees as con- for immigrant rights. We see it in workers voting against trolled by corporations. “Good, honest, hardworking people contract concessions that give away wages and health plans. continue—these people of modest means—continue to elect We see it in the LGBTQ movement for gay and lesbian mar- these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about them.” riage rights.” Dan claimed, “People want an alternative.” In Ohio (and Hamilton County, which contains Cincinnati) this climate, candidates from non-major parties can wield went blue in 2008, with Obama receiving 51.5 percent of power—whether or not they get elected. the popular vote. Statewide, just over one percent of people voted for third party or independent presidential candidates, ______and Ralph Nader got .74 percent of the vote. But Democrats and Republicans may be losing significant ground. Recent When Dan first told me about his bid for Senate, he called polls have shown the state split in multiple ways—the Quin- and said, “I’ve got a story for you.” nipiac Poll showed 27 percent of independent voters unde- “Oh yeah?” cided in the Senate race. A March 8 Rasmussen Reports poll “A Cincinnati school teacher is running for US Senate.” reported 17 percent of voters consider themselves part of the Dan teaches Spanish at a Waldorf elementary school in Tea Party movement. Cincinnati. Now 64 years old, Dan is a bit of a jack-of-all- Dan recognizes the Tea Party’s legitimacy. However much trades. Born in Illinois, he grew up outside of San Diego and prompted and publicized by the Glenn Becks and the Sarah over the years has worked as a truck driver, a journalist, a Palins, “there’s a social reality to this,” he says. “Once people union staffer, and a professor of History and Latin American put in money and send out organizers and stir something up, Studies at Miami University of Ohio, the University of Cin- it does become a movement with a life of its own.” cinnati, and Northern Kentucky University. When I ask whether it’s worth arguing with what he calls Swapping conjugation for legislation requires a political “Tea-baggers,” Dan claims to see a way to make socialism at- platform. In an interview with The Columbus Government tractive to them. “Middle and working class people who have Examiner, Dan said he chose to run with the Socialist Party turned to the Tea Party, it is out of frustration and alienation USA in order to promote “the vision of socialism and the form the government and the two parties, which is under- an La Botz, a long-time family friend, recently program which the American people need at this time if we standable. Democrats and Republicans are doing nothing decided to join the Ohio US Senate race. He got are to work our way out of the economic and environmental for them.” But, “if somebody said, ‘your enemy is really the Dmore than the required 500 signatures and will crisis, end war and enter into a path of peace on the planet.” corporations running the country through political parties, appear on the November ballot as a candidate for the Ohio He notes that while he chose to affiliate with the party, that’s the source of the problem, not the immigrant worker Socialist Party, the state organization of the Socialist Party “there has been no Socialist Party state structure in Ohio for or some conspiracy,’ one can change the minds of people in USA. Nationwide, he is the only candidate running for Sen- a long time,” so much of his organizing has to come from the Tea Party.” ate as a member of the Party. scratch. “People who support my campaign will not neces- ______Choosing to identify and conduct a campaign as a social- sarily be members of the Socialist Party,” he adds, “most will ist when the Tea Party and pundits like Glenn Beck have not be.” Dan doesn’t have a fully formed answer to the question: done their best to equate even progressivism with Hitlerism Dan doesn’t have any official endorsers yet, but he says Why Dan La Botz, why now? “It’s a new thing to have to may seem like bad political timing. But Dan is not the only he has gotten individual support from people around the re-conceive yourself as a person who people will look to for self-described socialist running for national office this fall. state involved in the Labor Party, the Single Payer Action leadership,” he says. In the social movement work he’s done The Party has two candidates for Congress in Florida and Network, the peace movement, and the Progressive Action over the years, he considered himself part of a team, not the Texas. Mel Packer in Pennsylvania is on the Green Party Network in Cincinnati. head of it. ticket for Senate, and Stewart Alexander will make a bid for He says he was surprised by the reactions he got when He cites labor movement figure Eugene Debs, who ran governor in California with the Peace and Freedom Party. canvassing to get his name on the ballot. “Some people for president as a socialist four times in the beginning of the With the mounting pressure of these midterm elections, an turned away and did not even want to talk with a socialist. 20th century, as a model of the electoral socialist tradition. important interruption to the traditional two-party narrative But for the fist time in 40 years of being an activist, not one In a 1918 speech in Canton, Ohio, Debs expressed a simi- has appeared on both the Right and the Left. person told me to go back to Russia.” But he also found that lar lack of comfort with traditional leadership. “I would be ______among many people, especially young people who did not ashamed to admit that I had risen from the ranks. When I seem to be interested in politics, “once you said the word rise, it will be with the ranks, and not from the ranks.” Ohio, Dan says, is “political ground zero.” It is both a swing ‘socialist,’ then they’d turn and say, ‘let me sign that.’” But Dan says running for office requires significant self- state and a microcosm representative of national politics. Dan thinks there has been a shift in people’s understand- promotion. “I want this office because I believe these ideas “It’s not that there’s something special about Ohio,” he says, ing of socialism. “It might be going too far to say that it has matter and these ideas can change your life and change the rather, Ohio is “the most typical Midwestern state that shares become fashionable,” he says, “but it has certainly become country and change the direction we’re going,” he says. “But and exemplifies all of the different problems” of the country. debatable and discussable in a way that it hasn’t in my entire you have be able to say to people, ‘If you don’t vote for me, In the Ohio race, there are eight candidates vying for lifetime.” To a certain extent, he credits the Tea Party move- you’re wasting your vote and condemning yourself to con- retiring Republican George Voinovich’s Senate seat. The top ment, which “grew up around talking about and attacking tinue in this system dominated by corporations.’” contender is Democratic Lieutenant Governor Lee Fisher, the Democrats as socialists.” Dan says people reacting to the ______who leads with 41 percent to Republican Rob Portman’s attacks from the Right are starting to draw the conclusion, SIMONE LANDON B’10.5 votes in Michigan. 37 percent, according to a March 23-29 Quinnipiac poll. “Well, maybe I’m a socialist. If I want health care, I guess The other leading candidate is Ohio Secretary of State and I’m a socialist. If I think I ought to be able to go to school Democrat Jennifer Brunner. The primary will take place May without having to give an arm and a leg, then maybe I’m a 4. The Socialist Party ballot will appear in the primary, even socialist. If I think I should have a job, then maybe I’m a though Dan is running uncontested for the nomination. socialist. If I think gay people should have the right to marry, Among the other third party candidates is Eric Deaton of maybe I’m a socialist.” Dayton, an electrical engineer representing the Constitution These are Dan’s campaign talking points, and he uses Party. According to his campaign website, Deaton’s interests them to illustrate his view of socialism: “Working class include “Stamp & Coin collecting, Firearms: shooting, col- people have power, and working class people’s needs are met. lecting and history, Vintage muscle cars (likes many, but And if their needs are met, then obviously everyone’s needs owns Fords), Fishing; Hunting; Scouting.” He has published are met.” position papers on the Fair Tax, Immigration Control, and ______Promoting Family Values, and he claims to agree with the ideas of “The Founding Fathers’ Principles” and “States’ Rights.”

april 8, 2010 theindy.org Metro | 4 m e n o n w i r e Who’s who in the Providence Police drug sting B y K at S t o e f f e l

ragrant blossoms have returned to Providence’s trees, along with another one of the city’s signature scents: rank corruption, floating down from City Hall and into police stations, high school hallways, and dive bars. Three Providence police officers and four others have been arrested in a sting on a cocaine-dealing ring fit for The Wire writers’ room, which first Fbroke on March 4. Rhode Island State Police enacted the investigation, creatively named “Operation Deception,” over four months, relying mostly on vehicle surveillance (which the perpetrators, being cops and all, eventually caught on to) and wiretaps. In a press conference, Providence Police Colonel Dean Esserman said, “I wish I was the one who had put the cuffs on them today.” But it was State Police Captain David Neill who put the “dope [and cash and firearms] on the table” for six o’clock news cameras, and Esserman who put himself in former mayor (now “primary news analyst” for ABC 6) Buddy Cianci’s line of pundit-fire. Without a hint of irony, Cianci enumerated other recent corruptions in the Providence Police Department (PPD) and called for Esserman’s resignation for failing to keep an eye on rogue cops. Reminding ABC viewers he has “20 years’ experience” and “an ear to the ground,” Cianci relayed a rumor that the Feds would soon be taking over the troubled department. Mayor David Cicilline responded to the bust by promising to implement random drug testing at the Providence Police Department, until the ACLU reminded him it’s illegal. He has not dropped his bid to succeed Patrick Kennedy as one of Rhode Island’s Congressional Representatives in light of the scandal. But if The Wire has taught us one thing, it’s that the coded and slanged goings-on of the criminals at the other end of the wiretap are always more compelling than the politics of civil servants. Here, annotated excerpts from the Operation Deception wiretap transcripts, as published in court affadavits:

Albert B. Hamlin: Brother of CA: Fat boy. […] You going to be around for awhile? PPD Patrolman Robert Hamlin and AH: Um, for that? Khalid Mason: the ring’s leader, referred to in wiretap CA: Yeah. […] A little something. Believed to be Albert transcripts as “Big” or “Blackie,” for his AH: Okay, yeah, how big’s the job? Hamlin’s cocaine supplier, Mason has an black Ford pick-up truck. Hamlin uses a CA: Like a hundred square. extensive criminal record including traffick- code flooring terms—boxes of tile, square AH: I’m going to leave the tiles like right on the outside of the door. ing cocaine and larceny of a firearm. The footage—to refer to cocaine. He is charged Central Falls resident asked the prosecutors, with possession of up to a kilo of cocaine “If I’m such a drug kingpin, then why do I and steroids with intent to deliver, and AH: What’s going on buddy? How did you make over there, good? live in squalor?” He is being represented by being held without bail. KM: Hell yeah. Mayor Cicilline’s older brother, Defense At- AH: OK yeah cause I don’t. It looks bomb-bomb, you know what torney John Cicilline, and held without bail. I mean. KM: Yeah you got, but that was way-way, but what you do was… you got the text, right? AH: Yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yup yup. Jameson Hassett: Son of Buddy KM: Alright, good, ‘cause um… cause he, the one he gave me the Cianci’s former driver, Providence Police separate one, and that shit was mad like Chaffee, know what I’m Officer James Hassett, charged with selling saying? syringes and steroids supplied by Albert Sargeant Steven Hamlin. He was released on $25,000 bail. Gonsalves: Former driver for Provi- JH: At home, I can’t go to the gym tonight, I got some broads dence Mayor David Cicilline, charged coming over. with soliciting narcotics. His wife is AH: I’m going to grab some of those pins, and I’m going to do that Cicilline’s executive assistant, although the over there. wiretap transcripts suggest she had no clue JH: I talked to Chris, he said we are doing them right and the kid what was going on. He was released on Paul had the small ones. Patrolman Robert Hamlin: personal recognizance (without needing to AH: So I have to go 30 to 20. School resource officer at Central High pay bail). JH: Dude, 20 he said, right now it’s not worth doing the three School and Classical High School in because your body makes its own. He said you’re giving yourself Providence, charged with conspiring to extra for no reason. deliver cocaine. Though he appears in no transcripts, he was spotted accompanying SG: Bigs how you doing pal? his brother on deliveries. He is being held AH: Arr I’m just trying to finish up my floor at my house, bro. without bail. SG: Coming out nice, it better be. […] I’m home, you gonna be around? AH: Yeah, you want to come look at this floor job that I got over here?

JC: Yo. SG: How much loot you bringing with you tonight? JC: I ain’t got much. SG: No, I don’t either, that’s the problem. […] Narcotics Detective JC: Hey did you call him? Joseph Colanduono: Charged SG: It’s all set. with possessing and conspiring to deliver Scott Lamont: Charged with so- cocaine and Vicodin. Advised Albert FD: How far are you, bro? liciting drugs from Albert Hamlin. Lamont Hamlin on how to avoid arrest after a cus- AH: I just left my house I’m around Comstock. works at Pontiac Tap, a cop hangout and tomer operating Hamlin’s truck was pulled FD: Awesome, OK bar where Albert Hamlin had been making over with 179 ecstasy tablets on board. He [...] deals, according to wiretap transcripts. He is being held without bail. FD: You gonna come out for a beer or...? was released on personal recognizance.

JC: You got to be careful now. They are going to be looking at you. Let him go to court. He is going to get out on bail or whatever. You’re going to have a little sit down with him. Call me first. They are going to be watching you. Kat Stoeffel B’10 keeps the JC: You got to stay clean for a while devil way down in the hole.

April 8, 2010 theindy.org inches of rainfall in 3/2010, a record inches of rainfall between 3/30/2010 and 3/31/2010, a record

flow of Pawtuxet River on 3/31/2010, in cubic feet per second

flow of Pawtuxet River on 3/15/2010

flow of Pawtuxet River on an average day gallons of untreated sewage from Warwick, West Warwick, and Crans- ton treatment plants flowing directly into Pawtuxet River

height of Pawtuxet River on 3/31/2010, in feet time, in minutes, one toilet back- flowed sewage into a Warwick residence after a resident flushed a toilet in spite of a town-wide ban on the activity.

height of Pawtuxet River on 3/15/2010 height of Pawtuxet River on 06/07/1982, the record height before 3/2010

flood level of Pawtuxet River of these were being evacuated for properties evacuated in War- the second time in two weeks, hav- wick on 3/31/2010 ing already flooded on 3/15/2010

million gallons of water flood- million in damages at the ed into Warwick’s wastewater plant caused by the flooding treatment plant

cost of a gallon of tap water in Providence, in cents

damage per gallon of flood water in Warwick’s wastewater treatment plant, in cents

cost of a gallon of water, packaged in gallon bottles on Amazon.com, in cents

time Warwick Sewer Authority shut down its wastewater treatment plant on Tuesday, 3/30/2010

time the city of Warwick restored basic sewage to 80% of residents, on height of Pawtuxet River on 4/1/2010 3/31/2010, in feet rate of sewage treatment at Warwick’s wastewater treatment plant on Tues- day, 3/30/2010, in millions of gallons rate of sewage treatment at Warwick’s wastewater treatment plant on a nor- height of Pawtuxet River on mal day 3/15/2010 height of Pawtuxet River on 06/07/1982, the record height before 3/2010 hundred National Guard Troops activated to help local, roads closed in Rhode Island state, and federal agencies due to the rain, either during the with pre- and post- flood as- storms, or afterwards roads still closed as of 4/7/2010

temperature in Providence on April 7th, a record, in Fahren- flood level of Pawtuxet heit River previous record

open beaches in Rhode Island, RIPTA lines still detoured because of because of overflowing sewer rains, as of 4/7/2010 systems and septic tanks spilling into Narragansett Bay

miles of coastline in RI

all RI beaches are closed metro | 7 t i c k e d o f f Parents lead region in Lyme Disease advocacy and education

B y N o r a B o s w o rt h such round. The IDSA argues that it is not proven that Lyme ILLUSTRATION b y a n n i k a f i n n e disease even exists in a chronic form, and that perpetual use of antibiotics can be harmful to the patient. The association thus asserts that there is not sufficient evidence to spend years treating patients for Lyme disease, as Dr. Jones has done in hundreds of cases. “the sole vehicle that we have at present to protect our chil- Rod Bowley has doubts about this position. He maintains dren from the horrors of Lyme disease.” that it comes from “those bastards that work for the insur- Speakers referenced the misdiagnoses that frequently ance companies that claim there’s no such thing as chronic characterize early stages of chronic Lyme disease, otherwise Lyme disease.” known in the medical world as “the Great Imitator.” One Julie Merolla agrees, pointing out that the intravenous individual in attendance—the father of a Lyme disease pa- antibiotic care often needed for chronic Lyme disease pa- eth Bowley Coen was on a teacher’s tient—said that by the time they found out she had chronic tients can cost up to $8,000 a month, and sometimes must retreat when a tick bit her neck and Lyme doctors had already removed both her appendix and be administered for their entire lives. Binfected her with Lyme disease. In the gall bladder, acting on various misdiagnoses. In line with Bowley and Merolla’s positions, the Infec- years that followed, Coen’s physical pain Julie Merolla, the co-chair of the Rhode Island Lyme tious Disease Society of America is currently being sued by was so intense that she was suffering Disease Association, spoke about her son’s battle with Lyme Richard Blumenthal, Attorney General of Connecticut—the even on 60 milligrams of OxyContin. disease. state with the highest rate of Lyme disease incidents in the Her muscle spasms were severe enough “It’s the same story as everyone else,” she said, referring to nation, and where the first case ever was discovered—for a that in one episode her jaw snapped, misdiagnoses followed by crippling symptoms. conflict of interest in its verdict on Lyme disease. The At- and in another her ribs became un- Her son, Matthew Merolla, tested positive for Lyme torney General is accusing the IDSA of purposefully formu- aligned. According to her father, she could disease when he was eight. A doctor prescribed him oral lating a one-sided point of view on Lyme disease guidelines. no longer be the mother or teacher she antibiotics, which proved successful for a few years. But at The Office of the Attorney General of Connecticut had always been, and she felt she was a 11 years old, Matthew relapsed. He started falling out of his reports that the IDSA removed a member from their 2000 burden on her family. At 46 years old, seat in class. His mother took him to a psychiatrist who said Lyme disease panel who held different opinions on chronic twelve years after becoming infected, Matthew was just acting out. She was finally informed by the Lyme disease just to achieve consensus. Coen took her life. school principal, “[Matthew] can’t come to school anymore Furthermore, according to an investigative report released In January 2006, the same month that because he can’t sit in his chair.” by the Lyme Disease Association, a conflict of interest may Beth died, her father founded Beth’s Quest, a Merolla was confused. Her son’s symptoms—loss of bal- have arisen from the insurance companies’ close ties with the non-profit organization committed ance, vomiting, and pain—seemed very real, yet medical Infectious Diseases committee that set the standards of care to raising preventative awareness of professionals and officials were telling her otherwise. Eventu- for Lyme disease. Lyme disease. ally Matthew could not walk. He developed brain encepha- The 182-page report, (available through the Lyme Dis- “When my daughter died I litis, did not have the strength to feed himself, and had to be ease Association’s website), states, “An examination of pat- could do two things,” Rod Bowley, homeschooled from age 11 to 20. ents, marketing agreements, and revenue streams reveals the 73, said in a phone interview. “I The the bill might decrease future misdiagnoses of the potential for the appearance of conflict of interest for many could sit here and cry all day or I chronic form of Lyme disease by clarifying what it is and of the individuals setting Lyme disease policy.” could do something about it. So I what symptoms accompany it. And as Merolla emphasized The litigation is still in development, but its consequences sit here and cry half the day, and I spend on March 10, information can prevent the transmission of will be wide-reaching for the Lyme disease community. The the other half doing something about it.” Lyme disease itself. IDSA’s guidelines enabled insurance companies to continu- Bowley’s biggest mission these days is to Matthew contracted Lyme disease from a tick bite at age ously deny coverage of patients’ treatment, the Office of the get a bill that he wrote personally passed in eight. He was accompanied only by a friend, who tried to pry Attorney General of Connecticut claims. Rhode Island. the tick off Matthew’s head, and in so doing, pushed the bug The Rhode Island Department of Health recognizes On March 10, a hearing for his bill, the Beth further into Matthew’s scalp. He inadvertently sent the tick’s chronic Lyme disease, but leaves treatment decisions to the Bowley Coen Lyme Disease Educational Act, deadly bacteria into Matthew’s blood stream and, finally, discretion of individual physicians. Rhode Island’s approach resulted in the Rhode Island House Health, Ed- into his brain. Julie Merolla uses her son’s story to show how, to chronic Lyme, however, is unique in the nation. ucation, and Welfare Committee’s recommen- with Lyme disease, just a tiny piece of information—proper dation that the bill be held for further study. tick removal—can save lives. Rhode Island’s Success to Date According to Representative Gallison, one of Despite resistance, Rhode Island has already made one enor- the bill’s sponsors, the act will be amended. Lyme Crime? mous leap in the Lyme community’s fight against the disease. On February 9, 2010, Rhode Island State Matthew Merolla’s story is inextricably interwoven with the In 2003, Julie Merolla spearheaded the passage of Bill Representatives Gallison, Martine, Rice, and ongoing debate over the very existence of a chronic form of 6316, which mandated that the state’s health insurance com- Edwards introduced the Lyme Disease Educa- Lyme disease. panies cover intravenous antibiotic treatment in the long- tional Act to increase awareness of the disease. The According to Julie Merolla, her son is alive only because term for Lyme disease patients. It was met with opposition bill would require that a Lyme Disease awareness lesson of Dr. Charles Ray Jones of New Haven, Connecticut, an from representatives of major insurance companies like Blue be taught in health and physical education classes in Rhode octogenarian who has devoted his life to treating chronic Cross and United Healthcare, which claimed that long-term Island elementary and secondary public schools as part of a Lyme disease. Jones was the last of many doctors whom Julie Lyme disease treatment was not proven to be effective. With health education curriculum to be implemented beginning Merolla took her son to see. the bill’s ratification, Rhode Island became the first state in September 1, 2012. In Rhode Island, which has the nation’s Jones diagnosed Merolla with chronic Lyme disease and the nation to cover the prolonged administration of antibiot- second highest rate of Lyme disease per capita, the lack of put him on a long-term regimen of antibiotics. Gradually, ics for treating chronic Lyme. awareness has resulted in misdiagnoses and—in extreme Matthew’s condition started to improve; by the time he was Whether Rhode Island will continue to lead the country cases—unnecessary surgeries. 19 years old, he was ready to start college and leave home- in preventing and treating chronic Lyme remains to be seen, The lessons would come at no additional cost to the schooling behind. as Bowley’s bill is reviewed. Before finishing up his testimony schools; each public school already has a health education Dr. Jones is now battling in court to retain his medical at the Statehouse and heading back home, Rod Bowley teacher, and the Board of Regents of Rhode Island would license, as the Connecticut health department has sued him reminded everyone huddled in the small room that he is provide the schools with materials for the lessons. While the for the “inappropriate” administration of antibiotics for pushing for this legislation so that his fellow Rhode Islanders bill mandates that the department of elementary and second- Lyme disease patients. In having to defend his actions in the never find themselves sitting where he is today. ary education develop the curriculum, the materials, Bowley courtroom, Jones has joined the ranks of various doctors who ______said, have already been acquired. have prescribed long-term antibiotics for chronic Lyme. Nora Bosworth B’10 also awaits ratification. Bowley, with help from family and colleagues, got his Doctors who believe in chronic Lyme hypothesize that hands on the instructional DVDs and CDs for free from the bacteria from the tick’s bite lie dormant for months or years Columbia University Medical Center, and distributed them and then reemerge, attacking the body. Many of these doc- to the Board of Regents. But just supplying the schools with tors maintain that the best-known treatment for chronic the approximately 20 CDs and DVDs was not enough. Lyme is the continued use of antibiotics. The need for such an act became obvious to him when a But the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA), few schools received the kit for the lesson but never actually responsible for setting the de facto standard of care for Lyme presented it. The bill stipulates that health education teach- disease nationwide, maintained in a report published in 2000 ers would be legally obliged to give the lesson, not merely to that even Lyme disease patients who have been misdiagnosed possess the materials. for years or whose conditions are worsening should be given only two to four weeks of antibiotics, and at most a second Lyme aid At the bill’s hearing proponents explained why awareness can play an especially effective role in preventing Lyme disease, or in preventing its fatal progression. Bowley called the bill

the college hill independent april 8, 2010 features | 8 A r m y o f O nes and Zeros Military Recruitment in the Twenty-First Century b y K atie Jennings

ast December, President Obama announced a deploy- it seeks to “provide civilians with insights on Soldiering evaluation as to the effectiveness and/or future of the AEC ment of 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan. The from the barracks to the battlefield.” The game offers simu- or the associated technologies. The program will receive Ldeployment has yet to be completed, but already the lated training and combat missions. It is rated “Teen” by funding through September 2010. However, the AEC web- number of troops killed in the first three months of 2010 the Electronic Software Rating Board because of blood and site claims, “The AEC is fast becoming a model for Army is double last year’s figure. The toll is expected to keep ris- violence—meaning the content is suitable for ages thirteen recruiting nationwide.” This claim was further reinforced last ing. In October, the Department of Defense announced that and older. America’s Army consistently ranks as one of the top June in a report issued by the Committee on Armed Services the Army met its recruiting goals for the fourth consecutive first-person shooter games in the world. In November 2007, to the House of Representatives that commended the Army year in a row in fiscal year 2009. Recruitment levels have there were 8.8 million registered users with 120,000 hours for using new technology and its “great potential to reshape increased throughout the country over the past year due of play each day. recruiting techniques.” to a combination of factors including the downturn in the I contacted fourteen year–old Eric* via an America’s Army economy, the increase in unemployment, and the improving fan site on Facebook. He started playing at seven years old THE CONTROVERSY conditions in Iraq. when his father introduced him to the game. Now he plays Not everyone agrees with the Committee on Armed Services. Historically, conscription—forced enrollment in the mili- almost every day for four to five hours. His favorite part of The AEC has been the site of multiple protests and arrests. tary—was essential to the development of America’s military America’s Army is the “realism,” he said, “No matter what The latest protest on March 20, 2010 coincided with the power. In 1792, the National Conscription Act required all team you’re on, either attacking or defense, you always see seventh anniversary of the war in Iraq. Jesse Hamilton, one white males between the ages of 18 and 45 to be part of a your teammates as the good Americans and you always see of speakers at the demonstration is a former Staff Sergeant peacetime militia. The first military draft occurred in 1862 your enemies as enemy terrorists, so I think it’s pretty cool.” in the Army. He enlisted after graduating high school and during the Civil War. In 1916, the National Defense Act cre- served for nine years, including one year in Iraq. Upon ated the Junior Reserve Officers’ Training Corps (JROTC) THE CENTER his return he became involved in the anti-war movement, in high schools across the country—the program aimed to In 2008, the Army took video game technology to a whole eventually joining Iraq Veterans Against the War. Hamilton target potential recruits and officer candidates. Conscription new level—the five recruiting offices in the Philadelphia area says he understands the need for military recruitment, but he followed in WWI, WWII, the Korean War and the Vietnam were closed and the Army Experience Center (AEC) opened opposes the use of video game technology. He argues, “What War. In 1973, the military draft ended and the US Army its doors inside the Franklin Mills Mall in Philadelphia, PA. if the Iraqi or Iranian government was to set up [video game] became an all-volunteer force, meaning recruitment would Strategically sandwiched between a skate park and Dave & centers like this to shoot at people who look like Americans. now play the primary role in maintaining that force. Buster’s, the chain restaurant-cum-indoor video arcade, the How would we take that? Would that be acceptable for them In the early 1990s, as the Cold War came to an end, Army nearly 15,000-foot, $12 million government-funded AEC to do?” bases across the country began to close, significantly reducing project seeks to provide a virtual Army experience. There are He suggests that regardless of the advancements in tech- the presence of the military throughout the US. By 1998, the touch screen kiosks that provide information about careers nology, the limitation of a virtual experience remains the Army was unable to meet its recruiting goals. According to a in the Army, computer and Xbox 360 consoles for playing same—its distance from reality. With regards to the video case study released by the Career Innovation Group in 2007 America’s Army and high-tech simulations that take place games and simulations he says, “I don’t expect someone to be titled “Playing the Recruiting Game,” the Army “needed to inside of a real Hummer or Black Hawk Helicopter (your so naïve to say, well if this is real combat then count me in. do something radically different to market to its core target choice). Anyone is allowed to enter the AEC; however, in But I think the whole idea that you’re taking something as group of 13-17 year old males. Research showed that young order to play the games you must be thirteen years or older serious as real combat, as serious as killing another person—I people’s opinions about organizations and decisions about and ‘register’ at the front desk, meaning you are required to am going to kill another person who has a mom, who has a careers are formulated during these years.” As we’ve entered give personal information such as your education, address, dad, who has a kid, who has a baby, who just by the place the twenty-first century, America’s youths have become interests, along with your email and a photo so that you can they were born, finds themselves, at the other end of my rifle increasingly attached to their electronics—laptops, iPods, be issued your “AEC” photo identification. and I am going to end their life. Very few people who have Xbox360s—and the Army has taken note. What better way According to Major Larry Dillard, the program director not been to combat understand what that’s like.” to reach recruitment-age youth of the so-called “Digital of the AEC, the goal of the center is to clear up misconcep- According to the website, the mission of the AEC is to Generation” than through their favorite electronic pastimes? tions of the Army. He explains, “If you’re a young person “communicate the values, resources, and career opportuni- The Army has been experimenting with video game tech- growing up in Philadelphia or New York City, chances are ties of the Army.” But the challenge of communicating the nology to reach recruitment-age youth from the release of you’ve never met a solider, you’ve never talked to a soldier, real ‘Army Experience’ still remains. the video game America’s Army in 2002 to the opening of the you’ve never seen an Army base, and you really have no idea ______Army Experience Center in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania in what soldiering is all about. And your opinions and views Katie Jennings B’10.5 is coming soon to a mall 2008. But the technology is not without controversy—there about what it might be like to be a soldier are largely formed near you. is longstanding debate as to whether the simulations are by what you see in the entertainment media, what you see glorifying combat over the authentic experience. The AEC on the news, and then probably also some legacy percep- *Name has been changed at the request of interviewee. has been the target of multiple protests as recently as March tions that still persist from the pre-volunteer force back in 20, 2010. the Vietnam Era.” 30 percent of the Army’s recruits currently The interview with Major Larry Dillard was originally broad- come from within a 50 mile radius of military bases. cast on August 28, 2009 as part of the episode “War Games” THE GAME Dillard insists that the “primary objective with the Army produced by War News Radio. America’s Army is owned by the US government, funded Experience Center was to provide a place that allowed us to by US tax dollars, and free to download on the internet. experiment with different tactics and technologies—not so Find a copy of the case study at http://www.careerinnovation. Operating and development costs have totaled over $30 much that we would start cropping up AECs all over the com/viewreport.asp?ReportID=14. million to date. According to the America’s Army website, country.” At this time, the Army has not released an official

April 8, 2010 theindy.org ¿ Q u é e s L a R esistencia? Honduras continues to feel aftershocks from last year’s coup

b y A d r i a n R andall | design by robin dav i s

he first thing you notice in Tegucigalpa, Honduras— reach a compromise, elections were held in December, the after the large Coca Cola sign hanging in the hills candidates new. While Zelaya and his supporters strongly Tabove the city, the thousands of white and purple disputed the validity of the elections, most Latin American taxi cabs, and that general kinetic disorder of a third world countries and the White House recognized them as legal and metropolis—is the writing on the walls. It’s not art, there’s democratic. no aesthetic involved. Nor is it tagging, there’s no territory battle. They are messages, short words of anti-government ______protest—many ¡Viva la Resistencia!—spray paint-scrawled on what feels like nearly every vacant wall in the city. Which It would be easiest to say that nine months after the fact, is to say that nine months after the coup d’état, four months Sosa’s conservative government would like to forget about after democratic elections, a group of Hondurans is still the coup. Members of the Honduran right, and especially protesting. The US and the current Honduran government the press, have taken el Golpe out of their vocabulary, re- would like to move on. placing it with “that thing that happened,” or the “events from the summer.” They’re hardly alone. Early last month, ______Secretary of State Hillary Clinton met with leaders of the Central American nations in Guatemala, announcing that Last year on June 28, a coup d’état (golpe de estado), sent the US would restore its $30 million in aid to Honduras Honduras into a political frenzy. Then-president Manuel and urging the other nations to follow suit. But Nicaragua, Zelaya had just proposed a rewriting of the 1982 Honduran Venezuela, Argentina, and Brazil have refused. The reason constitution. Opponents claimed that the proposed reform could be due to cultural history. In a meeting between Bra- was a veiled attempt to undo constitutional restrictions on zil’s Foreign Minister, Celso Amorim, and Hillary Clinton, the presidential term limit (one four-year term) and replicate Amorim explained his government’s hesitance in recognizing Chavez-style socialism. Supporters claim Zelaya was merely Honduras’s post-coup cabinet. trying to recalibrate the constitution, which heavily favors “Countries that have undergone, say, the trauma of living the Honduran elite and land-owning class. The Honduran under a military dictatorship following a coup d’état—for Supreme Court unanimously found Zelaya’s attempt to example, my own generation, Brazil was deprived of voting modify the Constitution illegal and secretly ordered for his rights. For 21 years on end we were not able to vote for the arrest. Led by General Romeo Vasquez, a graduate of the presidency […]. A military coup is the kind of thing that Pentagon’s School of Americas, the armed forces then made cannot be easily absorbed.” a pre-dawn raid on the presidential palace. Zelaya was flown Even after December’s elections, the National Resistance to Costa Rica where he immediately spoke out against the Front of Honduras, an opposition movement which emerged kidnapping and coup. during the military takeover, refuses to accept the new gov- National Congress President Roberto Micheletti, then ernment. While the Resistance Front (La Resistencia for number two in the political hierarchy, was quickly sworn in short) has neither a centralized leadership nor a member list, as the interim president. Protests erupted across Honduras. it is comprised of dozens of grassroots labor, social, and left- Micheletti declared a state of emergency, enacted a curfew, wing groups. For La Resistencia, Obama’s non-committal and suspended civil rights. Latin America universally con- response to the coup was a familiar letdown, even a betrayal. demned the coup, as did the Obama Administration, albeit A statue of John F. Kennedy in the Colonia Kennedy of Te- half-heartedly. Even with Obama calling the action “illegal” gucigalpa also has a message on it: Golpista. and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton claiming that the Clinton’s unconditional support for President Lobo events had “evolved into a coup,” the White House refused and his work “promoting national unity and democracy” to formally classify the situation as coup. As a result, it was does not equate for the Resistance Front. Political oppres- not until nine weeks later that the US—which by far has the sion against the left continues steadily. While accounts vary most political leverage over Honduras—suspended aid to the widely, anywhere from 40 to 150 members of the Resistance country in order to put pressure on the interim government. Front have been killed by police or military since the coup, With the interim government and Zelaya unable to with thousands of detentions and acts of violence. Last week, Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International confirmed e Indígenas de Honduras (COPINH), the Movimiento Am- multiple instances of threats, arrests, beatings, rapes, and plio por la Dignidad y la Justicia (MADJ), and the Feminis- murders of Resistencia members throughout March. tas en Resistencia (FER)—the Resistencia is decisively not a Additionally, many faces in the government have stayed political entity in and of itself. It has a paradoxical existence. the same. Members of last year’s military government were Some members claim they would give their lives for the re- carried directly over into the Lobo Sosa cabinet—includ- instatement of Manuel Zelaya and look at Cuba as a model ing some currently under investigation by the International political example, while others are fervently non-violent and Criminal Court for human rights violations. Billy Joya is by disagree with the illegal graffiti in Tegucigalpa. Long-term far the most prominent example. During the 1980s, Joya led goals conflict as well. Resistencia groups met two weeks ago Battalion 3-16, an infamous Honduran Death Squad, re- to charter a new constitution for Honduras (which had been sponsible for dozens of tortures, murders and disappearings. Zelaya’s fatal proposition last June) while many other groups After the takeover, Micheletti appointed Joya as one of his would like to prepare a candidate for the elections in 2013. chief advisers. Joya now works as a senior military leader. His As political protest and idealism continue to carry many name is one of the prominent on the walls of Tegucigalpa, Hondurans, urgency and desperation are always deciding always accompanied by ladrón (thief), asesino (murderer), factors. Porfirio Lobo’s December victory was due in part to or golpista (coup). belief that he could offer the most jobs. Over 70 percent The list goes on. In late February, under international Hondurans live in poverty, making it a steady competitor pressure, President Lobo Sosa fired Romeo Vasquez Valesquez with Nicaragua for second poorest country in Central Amer- from his position as commander of the Honduran Armed ica, after Haiti. Even after Zelaya raised the minimum wage Forces. Two weeks later, Lobo re-hired Valesquez as the head by 83 percent , the hourly rate is still around one US dollar. of Hondutel, the national phone company. Myrna Castro, now head of the High Court of Auditors, is investigating ______the loss of 175 million lempiras (almost $10 million) that occurred in the Ministry of Culture, which she ran under The extreme poverty has been accompanied by a stagger- the Micheletti administration. Two of Micheletti’s promi- ing increase in violence. As the US continues to put pressure nent international negotiators, Arturo Corrales and Vilma on drug-traffickers on the Mexican-US border, much of the Morales, now head international and banking departments violence has moved south to insecure parts of Central Amer- for President Lobo. ica, especially Honduras. Between 2003 and 2008, annual homicides increased from around 1,200 deaths to more than ______8,400. While 59 women were killed in 2009, by February of this year 60 had already been murdered. Five journalists The coup was largely ignored in the US media in favor were killed across the country in the last two weeks of March, of the post-election protests in Iran, and that sidelining con- at least three of them for political reasons (accusations have tinues. Last month’s Resistencia protest that drew, according come from both pro- and anti-government groups). to the Honduran journal El Tiempo, 20,000 participants The threat to journalists has only further hurt the voice of to the capital received the most coverage from the Jamaican the Resistance Front in Honduras, with fewer domestic and Observer. Over 60 protesters sustained injuries. A Christian international journalists wanting to cover controversial top- Science Monitor article from February states that Honduras ics. For many Hondurans in the opposition, after what they has “...healed and moved on […] returning to democratic feel was a betrayal by the Obama administration, the lack of normality under President Lobo.” the media coverage has been the most frustrating. But there Other news sources refer to the opposition movement is always a counterbalance effect. As one wall in Tegucigalpa in the past tense or not at all. But this may be in part due says, or at least said for a short time, Los paredes callaran to an identity crisis within the movement. While a number cuando los medios hablen—The walls will quiet when the of social, labor, and opposition groups belong to the Resis- media speaks. tencia—including the Movimiento Por La Refundación de Honduras, the Consejo Cívico de Organizaciones Populares Photos by Adrian Randall features | 11 i n p l e a s a n t c o m pa n y The changing face of the American Girl Doll

B y M a r i s a C a l l e j a I llustration by L a u r a T s u n o d a

y the time I was old enough to read, the American a party room that offers three different party packages, and Miller lamented that his wife had bought several “I CAN” Girl Company had found its way into schools and a bistro for which reservations can be made online (the bracelets for their daughter’s friends, only to be horrified that homes and became a defining aspect of middle-class website strongly encourages you to make reservations now, they supported an organization that stands in contrast to her B to “make memories this holiday season,” to avoid having a pro-life views. “We have nothing to do with abortion,” Girls girlhood—you’d be hard pressed to find a young woman of our generation or younger who didn’t own an American disappointed brat on your hands when you show up and the Inc. president Joyce Roche told the Philadelphia Inquirer. Girl doll, or who didn’t read the accompanying books by place is packed.) “Our program is about preventing the need for abortion.” flashlight under the covers of a Laura Ashley–outfitted twin It’s unclear whether the dolls have gotten smaller or American Girl also disputed Miller’s claims, and fought to bed. The trademarked characters, nine year–old girls living in whether my arms have gotten bigger, but there is something maintain neutrality: “We are profoundly disappointed,” the historically significant years ending in four—revolutionary shrunken and dense about this new generation. The girls company wrote in a press release, “that certain groups have Felicity from 1774, pioneering Kirsten from 1854, Victorian look skinnier now, with whittled down legs that help them chosen to misconstrue American Girl’s purely altruistic ef- Samantha from 1904, and so on—were originally available fit into figure-skating and equestrian outfits, not to mention forts and turn them into a broader political statement on only by mail order, in glossy catalogs that arrived several the tiny red bikinis the store sells on equally tiny clothes issues that we, as a corporation, have no position.” times a year. hangers. While they once had soft, convex muslin bodies, Even before the sale to Mattel, American Girl received It wasn’t until later, presumably long after we stopped they now have skinny rubber limbs and flat torsos that don’t flak for the way they dealt with identity politics; the com- paying attention, that the company went big. It was bought match their toddler-like facial features. They still have the pany’s first three dolls were white, and the first non-white out by Mattel in 1998, the world’s largest toy importing same shiny hair, plaited or curled or bobbed to match the doll they introduced was a slave at the beginning of her nar- company and the creators of Barbie, who grew it into a style of the time. rative. In a later case, a Hispanic “Girl of the Year,” Marisol, franchise of Barbie-like proportions. In addition to the 11 There were dolls I didn’t recognize, ones developed long was criticized because the company chose to have her live in million dolls and 105 million books sold since 1986, there after I left the suggested eight to twelve age group. There was a neighborhood that made her feel unsafe. were new movies, flagship stores, and more merchandise Julie Albright, a flaxen-haired blonde I had never seen before, These disputes pop up despite the fact that the company than ever. The American Girl brand still kept an educational there to teach me about divorce, environmentalism, and Title uses a laborious R-and-D strategy to develop each doll and bent, but as it grew, it stepped on some fingers and ruffled IX. There was 2009’s Rebecca Rubin, the first Jewish Ameri- her back-story. It took the company almost nine years to de- feathers on all sides. can Girl doll, who had replaced Swedish Kirsten Olsen as the velop Rebecca Rubin, the most recently released doll, during one who teaches us about cultural and religious assimilation. which researchers debated what type of Judaism she should Meet American Girl By the time I had finished circling the octagonal display case practice, where she should live, what her aspirations should The American Girl Company was founded as the Pleasant in the lobby, I realized these unfamiliar girls represented a be, even the tiniest details of her appearance. The company Company in Middleton, Wisconsin, in 1986, the year they much more diverse crowd of tiny plastic feminists than the thought that giving her dark brown hair—the most com- released the first catalogue. It included only three characters, ones I had grown up with. For all the commercialism that mon hair-color for Russian-Jewish immigrants—would be Kirsten, Samantha, and Molly, all of whom were white and came with the Mattel buyout, the company gained a certain too predictable. “In the end, after many discussions weighing two of whom were affluent. To cut down on production thoughtfulness, or at least a sense of political correctness. For out the advantages of both approaches,” the director of de- costs, their doll faces were molded from the same pattern, one thing, the molds of their faces had changed to better development told the New York Times, “we created what we felt a round babyish design that didn’t match how they looked pict the ethnic groups from which the dolls come, unlike the was an optimum combination and gave her a new mid-tone in the delicate colored-pencil portraits on the covers of their one-shape-fits-all of our childhood dolls. Their clothes were brown hair color with russet highlights.” namesake books. more detailed, and their accessories—from shawls to patent Until 2000, Pleasant Rowland, a former teacher and the leather purses to tiny glasses—are more detailed. With their Changes for American Girl company’s founder, helmed the brand. After brief stints in plastic hair and frozen faces, these girls could teach the next American Girl has its fair share of critics, but few can deny education, broadcast journalism, and publishing, Rowland generation about petticoats and patriotism in a much more that the company has mastered the tightrope walk between struck upon the idea of selling dolls with a backstories accurate way. meaning and materialism. “If a blond Christian girl in anchored in American history while visiting Colonial Wil- North Dakota enjoys pretending she is living in a tenement liamsburg. White-haired and elegantly dressed, Rowland American Girl’s Journey on the Lower East Side in 1914,” Allen Salkin of the Times looks the part of a Midwestern doll tycoon and has played Not all diversity efforts were welcome. Late last year, the remarked, “American Girl will be happy to sell her a toy the role skillfully and profitably. Even after selling AG to company announced that their “Girl of the Year,” a contem- menorah.” Mattel for $770 million, she kept the company headquarters porary limited edition doll, was going to have a life circum- They must be selling quite a few toy menorahs—as well in Middleton, Wisconsin and ran it for two more years. In stance that had never previously been explored in any of the as movie tickets, spin-off dolls, self-help books, just-like-my- her retirement, she has remained in Wisconsin and become other dolls’ backstories: Gwen Thompson (the best friend of doll outfits and services at American Girl Place locations a grand dame of Madison society, throwing money about 2009 “Girl of the Year,” Chrissa) homeless. Not homeless — because the company generated $463 million in revenue whenever an arts center needs funding or a historic building like the time I left my Molly doll on my back porch over last year. Their status as pop-culture icons became apparent needs restoration. night, but living-in-a-car, honest-to-god homeless, as de- last year New York film critic David Edelstein named “Kit Under Mattel’s control, the company flourished and picted in the series of books that went along with the blonde Kitterage: An American Girl” as one of his top 10 movies of diversified. The first movie, “Samantha: An American Girl doll. Homeless advocates like Beyond Shelter spoke out 2008, and when Harper’s reported on the company’s home- Holiday,” came out in 2004 and was produced by Julia against the group when they learned that none of the profits less doll debacle. Roberts. Within ten years of the first American Girl Place from Gwen’s $95 price tag would help homeless people or Their price tags keep climbing and their gear more elabo- store opening, there are now seven flagship stores around the advocacy groups. rate. Created to teach us about hardship and heartbreak, our country to sell dolls, accessories and services like hairstyling. By that point, American Girl had already suffered attacks littlest apolitical proto-feminists are richer and more popular from the right. In October 2005, the National Review at- than ever. American Girl and Friends tacked the company over their “I CAN” campaign, in which ______Chicago’s American Girl Place is a particular kind of flagship they pledged $50,000 to the girls’ empowerment group, Girls Marisa Calleja B’10 is just a Molly trying to be a store that makes little girls feel powerful and makes grown Inc, and sold rubber Livestrong-style bracelets to support the Kit. women feel small. It inundates you with tiny merchandise organization. It isn’t explicitly political—it self-identifies and overwhelms you with giant columns and display cases. as “a national nonprofit youth organization dedicated to The biggest of the five American Girl Place locations around inspiring all girls to be strong, smart, and bold”—but Girl’s the country, the two-story store includes a doll hair salon, Inc. does support abortion rights. National Review’s John J.

the college hill independent april 8, 2010 opinions | 12 BLINDFOLDED b r u c e s Artistic Secrecy and The Bruce High Quality Foundation b y J o r d a n C a rt e r illustration by paola eisner

n an increasingly commercialized artistic era in which inherent social and didactic relevance. They asked: “What MoMA can purchase immaterial art objects—Tino Seh- are the ways we could imagine creating a sustainable [and] Igal’s undocumented performance piece, The Kiss, and the unprofessional” model for artistic education? omnipresent @ symbol—artists are developing new strate- In response to their own query, the BHQF opened the gies to critique the art market and prevent their work from Bruce High Quality Foundation University on September being absorbed into privatized collections. During one such 11, 2009 in collaboration with Creative Time, a non-profit intervention in 2005, the Bruce High Quality Foundation arts organization that, like the BHQF, purports to remedy (BHQF) circled Manhattan Island in a motorboat, hauling social issues by parading art in public spaces. The Univer- a miniature mock-up of Jean-Claude and Christo’s Gates. sity, christened on the faux seven-year anniversary of Bruce This mobile artistic gesture reflects principal methods of High Quality’s tragic death, is a free educational space in the contemporary artistic subversion: ephemeral performances Lower East Side of Manhattan where the students design and installations that preclude the three toxic ‘C’s: com- their own syllabi and direct their own courses; its goal is to modification, commercialization, and co-option. While the make education as much of a democratized dialogue as pos- BHQF, founded in 2004, employs these somewhat standard sible. Brown students think they have an open curriculum; techniques, its method is unconventional: to hide behind a the scholastic structure of the BHQF University is so flexible smokescreen of myth and anonymity. a student can feasibly propose a course on henna tattoos or The members of the collective—purportedly young, alternative shoe-lacing methods. male Cooper Union graduates—call themselves the Bruces Two weeks ago, I visited the deinstitutionalized realm of in honor of their fictitious idol, social sculptor Bruce High the BHQF University. Before entering the loft that doubles Quality, who allegedly died in the Twin Towers on 9/11. As as a rotating lecture hall, I expected radical texts, worn-in stated on the collective’s website, “Only Joseph Beuys and school desks, and chalk stained blackboards. Those images Andy Warhol compared” to the late Bruce in “their confla- were immediately dismissed the moment I opened the door tion of art with the systems of modern media.” The collective to the dank stairwell. The dusty apartment smelled of mildew claims that it has assumed his artistic purpose: to liberate art and tomato sauce, and it was empty except for a half-empty from the confines of the museum and “restore wonder to the handle of liquor (brand undetermined), about fifteen or so experience of public space.” discolored chairs, and a hyper-social cat. art. The gallery was set up in a manner that aggressively dis- But unlike Beuys and Warhol, the BHQF completely A friend asked one of the BHQF University students— avowed traditional curatorial protocol. Paintings, sculptures, rejects authorship; members refuse to publish their names a young woman dressed in a stylish, cinched sundress and random found objects, and even a bathroom stall (toilet and avoid headshots at all costs, claiming that secrecy pre- fashionably-scuffed riding boots—“Are most of the students included) crowded the small space. Penciled titles on the serves the art’s autonomy by downplaying the role of the like you?” She giggled and said yes, specifying that although walls with arrows pointing to their respective pieces replaced individual artist. Passive anonymity—naming your piece most participants share a similar aesthetic, the University standard wall tags. “Untitled” or commissioning outside assistance for produc- seeks to engage a diverse demographic. In other words, when On the surface, I was into it. There’s nothing I like more tion is one thing—but by actively publicizing the collective’s a random person happens to stumble in off the street, he than unconventional, ‘stick it to the man’ installations of secrecy both online and within the art world, the collective or she isn’t kicked out. The BHQF University appears to somewhat arbitrary commodities-turned-art-objects. Even hypocritically renders its objective of crafting an unmediated be more of an academic members-only club, hiding its true so, I couldn’t genuinely connect with the art; I wasn’t com- artistic and social space null and void. identity behind a manifesto of educational democracy that is pelled to theoretical analysis or imaginative conjecture. I was Assuming a collective mask of anonymity does not di- rarely put to the test. Because the BHQF relies primarily on too busy trying to decipher which pieces might have been rect attention toward the art, it diverts it toward sensational word-of-mouth advertisement that tends to be restricted to produced by a Bruce. myths. Unraveling a web of secrecy supplants the patron’s finite art circles, their goal of universally-accessible education traditional role of analysis and reflection. The art, as inspired is hardly met. AUTHORSHIP AND SOCIAL SCULPTURE as it may be, is outshined or, rather, obscured by the hipster Although the nightmare of a completely professionalized Authorship does not detract from an art object’s social rel- hype surrounding the collective’s enigmatic background. art industry, in which a PhD in Fine Art is commonplace, evance or impede its ability to induce participation. Fleshed has become a legitimate possibility, the BHQF University’s out wall labels provide patrons with a practical context they SCHOLASTIC UTOPIA / ACADEMIC CLIQUE mission statement of bringing art education to the masses can choose to read or dismiss. Unnecessary secrecy, however, In July 2009, the Bruces delivered a lecture at New York’s is a lot sexier in theory than in practice. I’m for democratic, shrouds not only the artist, but the work, placing myth and Harris Lieberman Gallery entitled “Explaining Pictures to pluralistic education, but it’s a pointless gesture if it reaches legend above the legitimacy of the product. a Dead Bull” in which they addressed the oppressive role only a niche demographic: relatively well-off, learned, and When Joseph Beuys formulated the concept of social of profit and professionalization in the art industry and primarily white city kids. Not to mention that democratic sculpture in the 1960s, I don’t think he predicted the BHQF critiqued the rapid growth of BFA and MFA programs dialogue is rather hard to facilitate when the university board as his heir. Yes, the BHQF valorizes marginalized artistic in visual art as well as curatorial practice in the US and (and sometimes even the professor) is anonymous. mediums like mixed media and found-object sculpture. Yes, abroad. Without ever formally introducing themselves, they the BHQF University aims to deconstruct and democratize preached to the audience: “The institutions of art education, A SPECTACLE OF ANONYMITY institutionalized academia. But the core premise of social by becoming willfully indebted to the art market” have com- I also visited the BHQF’s second biennial (the Brucennial), sculpture is that everyone is an artist—unmasked, in his or mercialized artistic practice and subsequently jeopardized its which was constructed in opposition to the traditional bien- her naked form. The intricate web of social relations forms nial format à la the Whitney. Held in a small art space in the a total work of art: immune to appropriation and com- Lower East Side, the Brucennial aims to give a voice and an mercialization. But in order for this autonomous artwork to audience to contemporary artists—rising and veteran—who fulfill what Beuys refers to as its “evolutionary-revolutionary” have been overlooked or marginalized by the institutional art potential to remap social spheres, there must be transparent market. Legacy Russell, a gallery educator at the Brooklyn collaboration. The BHQF couldn’t be more opaque. Museum, mixed media artist, and contributor to the Brucen- The hyper-anonymous shenanigans of the BHQF have nial (she refused to comment on whether she was a Bruce), created an insider/outsider dynamic. You can’t help but want gave me a briefing before I perused the hodgepodge of anti- in. Intrigue and curiosity perpetuate myths and marginalize establishment art objects, reminiscent of pop-dada hybrids. the art—the opposite objective of the collective’s declared “The Brucennial is an alternative biennial that seeks to mission. The allure of the secret summons imitators and false create a free social space for artistic participation,” she said. narratives. Besides repeating this run-of-the-mill mission statement Providence recently fell victim to the magnetism of the that sounded as though it was ripped straight from a press enigmatic collective. On March 19, a mass Facebook invite release, Legacy had little to say about the exhibition. When announcing that the BHQF would be staging an artistic in- I asked whether the Bruces produced any of the pieces, she tervention at a downtown loft catalyzed a flash mob of eager responded: spectators. The BHQF didn’t show. But after a half hour or “I cannot disclose that information, as the BHQF has col- so of idle anticipation, the crowd began to drink, mingle, lectively decided to remain absolutely anonymous in order to and dance. A party ensued. True social sculpture after all. elude the ‘art star’ phenomenon and direct attention toward ______the art itself.” Jordan Carter B’12 may or may not be a Bruce. “But doesn’t this extreme level of anonymity only serve to promote a ‘collective star status’ due to the heightened intrigue of the public and press?” I replied. She responded vaguely: “This is a dichotomy that artists must navigate.” I soon gave up and tried to direct my attention toward the

april 8, 2010 theindy.org ARTS | 13 b l o n d e s h aV E s u n n y m o r e f u n b i t c h e s b y N u p u r S h r i d h a r And less conscience

b y D ay n a T o rt o r i c i Dipping into singles that dropped this week illustration by K at e w e l s h and knowing who ought to come back is as easy as visiting The Hype Machine. Launched in 2005, the crawler website col- lects mp3s from the music blogs that get the most daily traffic and cues them up for eager listeners to enjoy. Songs stay fresh for three days but are booted off the website after a week on the charts, making HypeM a kind of metablog that’s current, efficient, and perfect for analyzing musical trends in an world where people propel musicians with pocket change and cross oceans to find good places to dance. Turns out this spring the hippest musicians are all singing the same tune: women are lookin’ good, break- ing hearts, and never looking back. To that end, a handful of songs recently featured on HypeM that try to make sense of sunny bitches everywhere:

Rich Girl – The Bird and the Bee

Part of a soft & sampled album-long tribute to Hall and Oates that does justice to the ’70s greats and uses more cowbell than ever before. Just goes to show that The White Ribbon, 2009. Dir. Michael Haneke is harder to shrug off. music evolves but privilege never changes. The film follows an aging schoolteacher (whose younger t’s easy to take issue with Michael Haneke. For starters, he self, played by Christian Friedel, resembles a limper-haired, is a living “auteur”—a hard sell among critics who prefer froggier Yeats) who recalls a series of events in his small, Itheir genius posthumous and their aesthetic appraisals Protestant town in order “to clarify the things that happened Real Love - Delorean safe from contradiction (We give them Oscars, and they give in [his] country.” A doctor’s horse trips over a rigged wire; an us Shutter Island!). And then there’s the tireless sadism—that opened window exposes a baby to illness; children are abused, Self-identifying as blissful, bright, and pet trope of Haneke’s—which when it isn’t busy offending kidnapped, beaten, and blinded—unrelated incidents that getting better all the time. The ambitious you, bores you with its redundancy. TheP iano Teacher (2001) bleed together to form an ominous whole. Although the Spanish quartet sings sweetly about los- chronicled the sadistic outbreaks of a repressed piano teacher; battles of the impending war seem far away—only whispers ing—or maybe finding—the real thing. Caché (2005), the sadistic calculating of a voyeuristic stalker. of tension penetrate this insular town—the incidents register Haneke even recycled a film, the 1997 Funny Games (a story as somehow prescient, an emotional mirror to precipitating of two men who torture a bourgeois family with—wait for chaos. it—sadistic mind-games) with the 2007 Funny Games, a Throughout the course of this somber whodunit, the Go Outside – The Cults shot-for-shot remake with attractive, American actors and schoolteacher suspects the town’s children—a wide-eyed and updated expressions of conspicuous consumption. (In the disturbed flock, led by the pastor’s daughter, Klara—who Who are these folks? They’ve released 2005 upgrade, the family’s Range Rover features Naomi are as stifled by their strict German households as Haneke’s three summery songs just in time for the Campbell, a six-CD changer, and a yacht hitched to the camera is by their fusty interiors. Faithfully tailing the napes season, but their barebones website informs back). The remake sent critics on its own funny game of of the children’s necks (where their blond, plaited hair twists us that a full album isn’t coming out un- compare-and-contrast, but left even the most diligent with into tight, elaborate knots), the camera moves through rooms til Dec 2012. For those of us who enjoy: little to say. Scenes aligned—impeccably so—but the result choked with damask wallpaper, damask rugs, more damask thinking things through/getting some fresh wasn’t especially telling or generative. Haneke’s choice to drapery; and a distorting wide-angle lens joins the film’s air/xylophones.w make the same film twice began to look less like a ripe artistic grayscale pallor to paint a claustrophobic image of provincial conceit than a lazy, gratuitous exercise—another opportunity life. These children are creepy, their prim and docile piety to showcase some sadists. Fool me once, shame on you; fool highly suspect in the face of their maltreatment; as they kiss me twice, I suspect your craft. their cruel fathers’ hands, we know they must be lashing out Beach Girls – Sleigh Bells Which leads to the most legitimate criticism of Haneke’s somewhere. The adults may know this, too—without irony, projects, which even a sadistic auteur–theorist might get the pastor ties a white ribbon to Klara’s wrist to “remind her” “Wait, did I forget my sunglasses— behind: that they’re intellectually lazy—or lazy enough to of her innocence—but the acts go unattributed, their mo- nope, got ‘em!” Currently spinning heads make viewers question their intentionality. Favoring vague tives unaccounted for. with Major Lazer*. liberal moralizing over articulated critique, Haneke’s films Except, that is, by the schoolteacher’s bookending are carried mostly by portentous camerawork that gestures voiceover, which links the children’s cruelties to the motives knowingly toward meaning, but never quite touches it. of World War I. It’s unclear what exactly he’s positing with This works out fine for the Funny Games diptych, in which this analogy, and what Haneke aims to imply. If Klara and Next Girl – The Black Keys* absence of argument suits the subject matter: senseless her minions will become the Nazi generation, is this its ori- cruelty is precisely that, and one shouldn’t expect answers gin myth, accounting for its intentions? As in his other films, A little raw, a little angry, but just as em- from Haneke, nor his hot, blond, Brechtian terrorists. But Haneke stares physical and psychological violence in the face powering as dance floor favorite Cold Dust the absence-as-substance rubric gets tiresome after a while, in The White Ribbon (at one point, training an unflinching Girl by Chicago’s Hey Champ. and moving beyond the director’s striking visuals and avant- camera on one victimized child’s clawed-out eyes). But here, garde-ish sentiments (Haneke to Kinoeye: “Insofar as truth is the half-bakedness is unworthy of such visual poetry. When always obscene, I hope all my films have at least an element making historical arguments, ambiguity is not enough. of obscenity”), one leaves the theater feeling empty, and There are some beautiful shots—a barn on fire, expansive I Think I Like U 2 – Jamaica confused. In Haneke’s world, all is pretty pictures and ugly fields of wheat—and the pace of the film never flags. There’s people. Save guilt, there’s room for little else. a love story, too, and some funny moments. All and all, it’s This French duo is way ahead: having not a bad date movie. I know a blond sadist who’d look nice topped off their latest single with an eye- * * * on your arm. catching/tongue-in-cheekedly honest video that outlines how we make, share, and for- Similar criticism greets The White Ribbon (2009), The White Ribbon is coming soon to the Avon. get music, it’s no wonder they’re doing just Haneke’s visually striking, intellectually so-so thriller about fine with the ladies. oppressive paternalism and unmotivated cruelty in a pre- ______war German province. But here—perched on the brink of a DAYNA TORTORICI B’11.5 is visually striking, seismic historical shift—Haneke’s noncommittal theorizing intellectually so-so. * Performing at Spring Weekend the college hill independent april 8, 2010 arts | 14 A m e r i c a n f o l k l o r e A conversation with Tony Tost

by erik font

Tony Tost’s is the author of three collections of poetry including bles something you state later on, where Bob Dylan, points bring into the poem the things that you should cut out, that Complex Sleep and Invisible Bride, which was selected for the to a river and his children run around trying to find it. This there are only mistakes. Ornette Coleman once said that he 2003 Walt Whitman Award. He is also the founding editor of selection is perhaps your own existential questioning but is didn’t become mature until instead of cutting his mistakes the online poetry magazines Fascicle and Octopus. Currently, it also the poet’s job to arouse these questions in the reader? out, he only played his mistakes. Tost is finishing a book on JohnnyC ash, which will be published in Continuum’s 33 1/3 series, and releasing hours of rare, forgot- T:I think you want to cultivate a shared attention to things I: In 2007, you stated that your magazine Fascicle would ten American music on his blog, Tony Tost’s America. that we often don’t have space or time to cultivate. That’s focus on global poetry. In 2009, you started Tony Tost’s one nice thing about poetry, the opportunity to show the America. Was your renewed interest in America a reflection INDY:How did Tony Tost’s America start? ways you are invested in each other through language. So it’s of the new presidency? less making conclusions on things than trying to set up the TONY TOST: As I began researching Johnny Cash for conditions for which these questions are more approachable. T: No, I’m actually more cynical now. There was a split sec- the book I’m doing with 33 1/3, I started listening to all of ond where I hoped there might be something different about these bizarre, old recordings. Toward the end of Cash’s life, a I: The first half of Invisible Bride seems to focus on your Obama where I thought he might be more than a friendlier lot of people were saying, “Johnny Cash is America.”I think personal history. As the book moves on, however, it plays on face. But, there’s only a bad choice and a more dangerous Cash is similar to American figures like Benjamin Franklin larger, darker themes like the abyss, stillness, and the eternal. choice. I had a friend whose father was kidnapped and killed and Mark Twain. If you read about Franklin and Twain you by this banana company that received money from a corpo- can learn a lot about 18th and 19th century America. Cash T:I was pretty desperate when I was writing Invisible Bride. ration. So his family tried to sue this corporation. As they was wild, he popped pills, but there was some kind of moral I didn’t know what I was going to do with my life. These were getting ready to go to court, they received this letter compass that made him ethical. Somehow he became a mas- heavy images, they’re almost lucid dreams. These collections stating that the trial would have to be delayed because the cot for American culture. I’m trying to get at how we view of materials that are gathered up and then you try to make defense’s head attorney, Eric Holder, got appointed to be At- Cash, how he viewed himself or how he turned himself into up some internal logic from within that you can then kind torney General. These are the kind of people the administra- this mythic figure. These songs are some of the material that of develop so you don’t become completely overwhelmed. tion is hiring. is available to me. This is the mythology and cast of characters in which he makes sense. It helps to think about Cash I: In Invisible Bride it felt as thought you were teetering on I: But there is an interlude in Tony Tost’s America titled, alongside bandits, religious cult leaders, and celebrity crimi- this edge. In your later work, Complex Sleep, there didn’t “Tony Tost encourages America and urges fellowship.” nals. He tapped into all these different strains like fundamen- seem to be any hesitation. talism and patriotism. He was drawn to these type of ballads. T: Well here’s the thing, I’m patriotic about facets of Ameri- He was one of the first people to present country music as T: One of the things I struggled with in Complex Sleep is that can culture, about readers and writers. I remember flying folk music. A lot of times when people think about folk they I’m not a miserable person anymore. I don’t feel like a badger over Memphis and thinking about Elvis and Johnny Cash think about “The Times They Are A Changin’.” But folk is that’s thrown out and has to figure out how to be human. and I felt this flicker of American pride in me. In that sense, also about these old American, almost Old Testament, col- I have a wife and a family now. I can function day to day. I’m all there. So I guess I separate that from politics. lection of characters. I’m trying to get into that undercurrent But my intention, and this is one of thing I’ve been thinking of American mythology. about, is why am I writing poetry? I: What Johnny Cash album are working on for 33 1/3?

I: Most of these songs are old ballads but there are others like I: So it’s no longer a crucible? T: For 33 1/3 I’m covering American Recordings, which “Stackolee” by Samuel L. Jackson that distort this image of came out in 1994. With American Recordings, Cash set old music and rural America. T: There is a way in which I think poetry is at its best when himself apart from the other songwriters of his era and it’s some kind of defense against some kind of obliteration. solidified his mythic status. I’m trying to show how he T:There is always a nostalgic distance that comes with listen- That desperation, that energy that will bring the best. And I cultivated this image. Also I’m trying to show this theme or ing to old music. A sense of the good ol’ days. But these don’t exactly feel that way anymore. It’s more analytical and this need for a reckoning between God and America that songs tell us something about the shit bubbling up in our in a way, less desperate. I’m trying to look at the medium is played out in this mythic version of Johnny Cash. He own culture, about what it means to be a man or a woman itself. It’s much less personable. I think I’m more focused becomes this canvas on which this battle is raging between in America. I don’t want it to just be old time radio, I want with adult concerns. I don’t want to be the Wes Anderson God and America. I’m also trying to include research and it to have a sense of urgency. It’s not just a diagnosis of the of poetry. trivia about Cash. Like when Cash picked a fight with this past, it’s a depository that Cash tapped into and that I try to ostrich and almost died. He was walking on this property tap into in my writing. I: Do you feel that way about Invisible Bride? and this ostrich was standing in his way. So he had to walk around it and then he thought about it more and was like I: Your first book,I nvisible Bride, opens with questions about T: A little bit, yeah. I was negotiating how to become an damn it I’m gonna show this ostrich who is boss. So he conflict and vision. But it is unclear how the two are related. accountable, not necessarily responsible, but accountable comes back with a stick and goes to hit it and then this Is our vision an inadequate attempt to make sense of con- person. And I think this kinda gee-whiz voice defers ac- ostrich jumps up and comes down with its talons and just flict? Or does conflict create vision? countability in your 30s and 40s. You’re American, you’re ac- rips his guts open. So this is 1981, he’s in his late 40’s early countable. You can’t keep pretending that you’re surrounded 50’s and he has to go to the hospital. This is also how he T: There is a way in which we damn conflict but that our by adults and you’re fourteen years old. I think the speaker in gets hooked back on drugs. In the hospital he has somebody basis of perception is conflict. So there is a certain way in Invisible Bride is trying to be likeable to the reader. I wanted bring him all these pills. As June, his wife, comes to see him which conflict is intrinsic to the process of being human. For to make a space where things can be repulsive. I don’t think and he’s looking for a place to hide them, he decides to hide example, when Lacan talks about how a baby sees its reflec- a reader and a writer have to be on the same page. We’re not them in his bandages. They all dissolve and he almost dies. tion for the first time and discovers it is not an all inclusive necessarily here to comfort each other. There are other things Stuff like that. There is this mythic stately Cash and then self. It’s forced to reconcile its perspective self with the object to do, to delve into. there is all this weird shit in the background. He becomes self it sees in the mirror. These internal feelings, this conflict even more mythic once you know about all this weird stuff, is also the basis for empathy. Once it recognizes its internal I:It seemed that in the absence of your personal voice, Com- he becomes larger than life. There is this another story feelings it can imagine the emotional life of other people. plex Sleep became much more powerful. where Johnny Cash was on vacation with Tom T. Hall, That’s based on conflict or a separation that is reconciled in another country song writer. Tom T. Hall had a computer some way. T: T: Lately I’ve been thinking about what kind of cosmol- and Cash had never used a computer. So, Tom’s trying to ogy we throw forth in poetry. Whether or not its some kind show Johnny Cash how to write on it. He leaves Cash and I: So is vision a reconciliation? You also talk about language of consumerist prepared one, or something that is a bit more goes out on the balcony. Twenty minutes later he hears cuss- as thinking vs. speaking. Does poetry resolve this? open. In Complex Sleep, I dropped almost any notion of ing and then finds Cash smashing the computer. Appar- narrative. With narrative, the voice ends up becoming a little ently Cash was trying to save a document and the com- T: It’s reconciliation and division. It’s dialectical, where more contained, because you’re setting up dichotomies be- puter asked him if he was sure. He got pissed off and was things break apart and come back together in different ways. tween selves. But then when I push narrative away it dispers- like, “Who is this computer, who is this screen to ask me, Poetry, I’m still not sure about. To me, poetry is all that’s left es a lot of things. Jack Spicer talked about the poet being a Johnny Cash, if I’m sure. Of course I’m sure.” You don’t like of things. It’s a way of claiming room for yourself to actively radio, receiving broadcasts from Mars, with Martians tuning the way an ostrich looks at you, you don’t like the question engage and interrogate language as a tool to understand our- in. But your poems have things from your life. The things in a computer asks, you just pop it. That was Johnny Cash. selves in relation to the world. By saying that this is poetry, I my life are just the furniture in the room. There is a way you give myself room to do things in language, to try and figure can bring in that furniture and there is a way you can move things out. between things. In that way, its not just content. Content is Erik Font B’11 loves Savannah, GA important but it’s what you try to cultivate to that content I: Early in Invisible Bride you ask, “How should I look in to that’s as much as the point. Then it becomes how words work the water…I want to contemplate the clouds.” This resem- and how they convey specific images. Then to note things, to april 8, 2010 theindy.org food | 15 S low food, f l eeting menu The Making of a Super -Seasonal Restaurant

B y M a r g u e r i t e P r e s t o n I llustration by B e c c a L e v i n s o n

t is opening night at Cook & Brown Pub- ting licenses to hiring staff. “All those things that you don’t to keep the customers satisfied. lic House. The tables are mostly full but think about, or you do but not really, everything takes a few there is space in the room and people are hours,” Bolin told me. “Some days it’s overwhelming.” Espe- ADJUST TO TASTE I cially when planning for the most important part, the food, For all his foodie idealism, though, Bolin is still realistic. “I’m murmuring quietly, contentedly. Walking past the wide windows facing Hope Street, involves a whole lot more than placing an order with Sysco. not naïve,” he’s careful to point out, “I’ve been in the restau- it’s hard to tell that yesterday those windows rant industry for 16 years. It’s not just about good intentions. were covered in brown butcher paper and GATHER THE INGREDIENTS A lot more is involved than cooking good food and being the bar was just a wooden frame. But inside Cook & Brown will join the handful of Providence restau- nice. It’s a business.” Working with so many small farmers there is a lingering smell of new paint and rants already subscribing to the slow food ethic; La Laiterie, requires more work and negotiation. “The dilemma is, farm- sawdust. The waiters, who are warm and New Rivers, Local 121, and Chez Pascal all rely on local in- ers are small business owners as well,” Bolin said. They can attentive, are also a little bit flushed. The gredients and feature seasonal menus. These seasonal menus only produce so much, and they have other customers to chefs are still getting used to a kitchen can change anywhere from once every few weeks to once supply. “Do we get every single carrot? No.” It helps to build that’s been ready for only a day, cooking every few months. Bolin wants to take Cook & Brown a relationships with farmers before they start planting. They’ll dishes they’ve never made before. little farther—the menu will change much more frequently. be more willing to plant more, and more diversely, if they The plates come out of the kitchen Other locally-sourced restaurants have a few set producers know they’ll be able to sell it. If nothing else, the advantage in a steady stream: turnip soup with whom they buy from, and who are often the same for many of a changing menu is that if one item runs out, it can easily bacon lardons, baked eggs with lobster restaurants. Bolin is interested in exploring new options. He be replaced with something else. and shitakes, white wine braised lamb wants to find different farms with interesting varieties. “We Working with small farms means that getting the produce shank with green farro and fennel pu- don’t want just the same stuff you can get at Whole Foods,” can sometimes be a problem. Many small farms don’t have ree, olive oil-poached fish with clams he says, “it should be better, more diverse.” the resources to deliver regularly. In Rhode Island, where and green herb sauce, crispy fried quail Around here, crops are fleeting. Asparagus season, for there isn’t a huge network of farms, restaurants quickly have with a shaved vegetable salad. Just example, is only a few weeks in early spring. But that’s what to turn to farms in Massachusetts, Connecticut, or farther. about everything comes from small Bolin likes about New England. “The seasons are really sea- Even for those that do deliver, Providence is out of the way. producers in New England. And a sons,” he says. If something’s only available for a short time, That’s starting to change as more farms and farmers markets week or two from now, just about that’s fine. While it is, “you get as many as you can, and then crop up in Rhode Island, but for now Bolin needs to work everything will have changed. you can say ‘let’s focus on this, let’s use this up.’ It gets you out who can deliver, whether it’s possible for some farms to The menu at Cook & Brown is amped up in the kitchen.” piggyback on other delivery trucks, and when it might be what chef-owner Nemo Bolin calls Most restaurants want to be able to count on getting worth it to drive out himself to pick produce up. “super-seasonal.” It is never the same produce consistently. It can be dangerous not knowing what Being reasonable is especially important for a new restau- for long. Bolin cooks simple, high they’ll get from week to week. But with no fixed menu to rant hoping to be successful, and Bolin is careful not to lose quality New American food, with an maintain, Bolin and Mir say that that kind of irregularity sight of practicality. He’s not willing to give up profit or the emphasis on fresh ingredients that are will just inspire them. As they set out to find suppliers, that quality of his food for the sake of being local. “We don’t want from as close by as possible. The dishes inspiration is what they’re looking for more so than the large to preach. It’s about striking that balance.” Bolin says, “There change from day to day based on the supply and consistent availability that most restaurants re- are no olive trees or lemons around here, but we’re gonna use season and on what produce is avail- quire. Such an approach will take more work, and it runs a those.” Some sustainable ingredients, like grass fed beef, are able from farmers that week. There is greater risk of falling short. It’s easy to be inspired by produce just more expensive. While starting out, Bolin can’t afford to some framework—there will always in the height of summer, less so by the potatoes and squash serve that all the time. He’ll have to budget carefully, either be at least one vegetarian option, one of winter. serving it occasionally or buying cheaper cuts and relying seafood of some sort, probably one But for now, at least, both chefs are confident that find- on skill to prepare them well. When he’s still unsure of how option for every kind of meat. There ing good farmers will mean finding good produce, regardless many customers they’ll have, he’ll also have to buy smaller will always be a salad, most likely some of the season. “We want to be able to have a dialogue with animals, to make sure he can sell everything before it goes kind of soup. Exactly what composes farmers,” says Bolin. He talks about how, for a long time, bad. those dishes depends entirely on what’s most restaurants have been entirely disconnected from the In New England, sometimes what’s in season is not a fresh from nearby farms. But keep- farms that supply them. Many restaurants get all their food whole lot. In all those cold, grey months between late fall ing up with constant change will be a from one big company. Sometimes it’s the same company and early spring, pretty much all that’s available are root challenge. It takes skill and experience they get their equipment or linens from. What’s available is vegetables, winter squash, and maybe some hardy greens like to come up with a menu every day, es- the same all year round. “And they try to sell that,” Bolin kale and cabbage. In the late winter, when root cellars are pecially when that menu relies on what said, “like it’s a good thing.” If these companies are pushing a dwindling and spring crops have yet to be planted, how local produce is available, and what’s available certain item, he said, most likely it’s because they need to get can the restaurant stay and still produce food that people in Rhode Island isn’t always a whole lot. rid of it. At Cook & Brown, he says, “We want farmers to be want to buy? It’s a question that Bolin and Mir will have to telling us what we should get, not just because they’re trying answer with experience, and it may very well mean that some PREP WORK to sell it, but because they’re really happy with it.” produce has to come from a little farther away. But they’re Bolin is an experienced chef and has been Bolin wants to know what the farmers are excited about, keeping the food as local as possible, and for now, even in the in the restaurant industry for 16 years. He since that’s usually a sure indication of what’s good. He’s will- bleakest season, Bolin doesn’t see the limitation as such a bad started out his career at L’Etoile in Mar- ing to buy tomatoes from one farm, greens from another, thing: “It’s a good time to be opening. The fact that there’s tha’s Vineyard, where he grew up, and has all depending on who does what best. He’s also interested not a lot available forces us to keep it simple. It gives us a worked in some of the most highly regarded in heirloom varieties and unusual vegetables, things like chance to start out slow.” restaurants in both Boston and San Francis- cardoons. “Ever heard of a cardoon?” Mir asks, “most people ______co, including Craigie St. Bistro and Rubicon. haven’t.” A cardoon is celery-like stalk that tastes like an arti- For at least five years, he told me, he’d been choke. “That should be the test for farmers we talk to,” Bolin Just hours before service on opening night, Bolin changed thinking about opening his own restaurant. joked. “Ask them if they know what a cardoon is.” out of the work clothes he’d been wearing since January into But it never seemed like the right time until He also wants to find foragers, people who will go out and a new white chef’s jacket. He shaved off the beard he’d been he and his wife, Jenny, moved to Providence find not just wild mushrooms but other wild edibles as well: growing for the past six weeks. There were dark circles under in 2008. Just as they did, the economy tanked, ramps, autumn olives, and fiddlehead ferns. All the better if his eyes. But he and Mir were cooking. They were, like he and though he asked every good restaurant in it’s stuff customers have never heard of, or never tried before. said, starting out slow. The menu was a little bit shorter than town, no one had the money or the opening to “It’s a good time to be opening a restaurant,” he said, “People they hope it will be eventually, and they were taking their hire Bolin. Finally, Bolin says, Jenny turned to him care more about what they eat. A lot more people are getting time to make sure everything was just right. By the smells and said “Let’s just do it.” A year later they bought interested in this kind of food.” Bolin plans to cook food that and the murmurs and the clink of silverware in the din- the restaurant at 959 Hope St. In January they had he thinks tastes good. Ideally, he says, he will create popular ing room, it was. Now, two weeks later, they’re in full gear. been there just long enough to gut it. When I first demand more so than he will cater to it. With entrees cost- They’re looking forward to asparagus and ramps, and plan to met them they sat with the sous chef, Adam Mir, in ing $20-$30, the success of the restaurant will depend on start curing meat pretty soon. the middle of an empty dining room, perched on bar people agreeing with Bolin’s taste. Given that some of the ______stools above bulging garbage bags, construction tools and fundamentals of his approach are to keep it simple and “use MARGUERITE PRESTON B’11 is helping Cook & stacked chairs. They would open in just six weeks. lots of butter,” success seems likely. But even he admits that Brown search for farms and foragers. In that time, the Bolins had to manage all the usual he doesn’t know whether people will like something like salt chores and negotiations of opening a restaurant, from get- cod fritters. He may yet have to contain his own preferences the college hill independent april 8, 2010 science | 16

b o ta n y i n V i g n e t t e s

An Ecuadorian adventure

B y Ta r a h K n a r e s b o r o ILLUSTRATION b y i s a b e l k h o o

e walked into class with a big red sweater draped poison, killing fish species and crab species and oh yes, the ences, the algae blankets the fungi and together they live in over the skinniest, oldest shoulders I had ever seen. villagers who eat them. Introducción a la economía. their wet home, perhaps on a mountain wall or a tree trunk. He spoke in rapid, emphatic Spanish I could barely One weekend we went on a botany class field trip to col- There’s a little zone of cells on the stems of leaves and H lect and press plants as well as learn to identify 42 families fruit called the abscission layer, right up near their mother hang onto, the sweater sleeves flying in all directions as he gesticulated madly. I spent a moment considering whether of plants. Some families, like Verbenaceae, aren’t so hard branch. When this zone senses that the leaf is dead or the or not his waist was thicker than our botany textbook and because the stem is round at the bottom, quadrangular at fruit is ripe, the abscission layer itself dies, weakening the hoped he didn’t die before he finished teaching the course. the top, with opposite leaves and a pentametric corola. Fam- link between appendage and core, and thus the fruit, or leaf, Introducción a la Botánica. ily Betaluceae has “imperfect” flowers—you call them that comes tumbling to the ground. It’s like a maturity sensor. Ecuador is located right on the equator and is, per square if the flower has just one gender, a male or a female part. That’s why ripe fruits are plucked off easily, and why the meter, the most biodiverse country on earth. As you travel, Only hermaphrodite flowers are called “perfect” because they young fruits cling. How is your abscission layer doing? your surroundings change like a nature slideshow on fast- have male and female parts. I guess there are lots of ways to Some seeds have little wings, or tiny hairs, to help them forward, from jungle to cloud forest to rainforest to desert categorize things. Introducción a la clasificación. fly with the wind. Other seeds have air bubbles so they can to volcanic mountain to beach. The soil is so rich it spits out Learning botany in Spanish makes me wonder to what float in water. Some are deliberately tasty and prefer to travel green every time it thinks you’re not looking. extent the ideas transfer. On one hand, pétalo is petal and within the comfort of a digestive system. A plant stays in one As usual, humans come like some sort of death-warrant- tallo is stem and hoja is leaf, but on the other hand, when you place its whole life, but the seeds have wanderlust. There are contagious-disease and mess things up; it’s mostly the same see two boys swinging on a huge Tarzan vine on your moun- many methods of travel. old story. This time their weapon was eucalyptus. They im- tainous plant-collecting hike and think hey, that looks cool, When you count the rings on trees, you count hardships. ported and planted their Myrtaceae in the most fertile part of and they explain how to do it in Spanish but you don’t know Each year in the growing season, trees produce thick juicy Quito, whose thirsty roots they knew would suck the ground the phrase “definitely don’t rely on upper-body strength, cells, big and fat. During winter, when times are rough, the dry enough for them to build houses promptly. Imposing, especially considering your relatively un-built biceps,” and tree can only manage to squeeze out a few small, misshapen perhaps, upon Ecuador’s initial hospitality, the eucalyptus you start off swinging but then fall tumbling down a hillside cells. Undersize and underfed, these winter cells are the dark trees began to spread, killing native and endemic plant spe- to miraculously little bodily damage but emerge covered in rings we see. One ring for one winter. A scar. When there cies as it went, drinking so much water so quickly the other scratches and twigs and dirt and have approximately eight are no changes in seasons and no harsh winters, there are no little plants in the area keeled over from thirst before they families of plants just in your hair, that might not transfer as rings. The tree is unmarred, ageless. Scars tell a story. were old enough to have children. Introducción al Ecuador. well. Or when that same day you get poured on so you say to Strawberries don’t need husbands. When the mother plant I made a friend Osvaldo who rebuilt a mountainside— hell with it and jump into a river, then come back to the hut is ready for a daughter, she stretches out one big horizontal from death to life. He says all any living thing needs is food, and flip on the lightswitch but get electrocuted up to your stem called a stolon, and the daughter plant grows right out water, love, and a place to live. Plant or person. Each time shoulder and have your brains feel rattly for five minutes, of that skinny appendage. The daughter plant, too, can fol- he plucks a plant from its home and moves it to somewhere then forget how to say electrocution in Spanish, well, those low suit, stick out a wiry little limb and up sprouts a grand- new, he gives it a kiss and his blessing, repeating comida, are the kinds of things that don’t transfer as well. Introducción baby. No husbands, just a female lineage with a strawberry agua, amor…. Family Orchidaceae is one of his favorites. a la vida. matriarch, all holding hands underground. Other countries use their orchids to attract money and tour- ______ism to protect their environment—sure, they have some Botany notes Tarah Knaresboro B’11 is in the market for orchids but we have even more here in Ecuador; look who’s Whenever I meet a flower, the first thing I want to do is smell protein shakes. treasuring their treasure and look who’s destroying it. Why it. I feel like this is a pretty natural reaction since flowers do we let things die? Why do we kill them? Introducción a la usually smell good. But botanists got their panties in such injusticia. a twist about how to describe scents and the subjectivity of Eucalyptus is back; more problems. They say planting smell and what smells good to who, so now, after they col- trees is always a good thing. Japanese companies plant euca- lect a plant and take note its characteristics, they just put lyptus trees in Ecuador to cut them down and make cheap “Aromatic? Yes or No.” I want to write a poem but all I’m paper, promising job opportunities and environmental supposed to do is check a box. It could smell like a chemistry perks. They pay the workers less than minimum wage, no lab or a French kitchen and all I’d have to put would be Yes. sick leave, no running water, work-related accidents are your Lichens are comprised of symbiotic relationships between own problem. Sick workers leave in droves. Poison sprayed fungi and algae. Fungi hate light but love humidity; the everywhere, to keep things live and healthy, of course. Tree nondiscriminatory algae love both light and humidity. In roots suck the rivers dry but not until they’ve spread the a beautiful combination of similar interests and key differ-

april 8, 2010 theindy.org april 8, 2010

M e lt d o w n - A poc(ellips)is

b y M a r i a A n d e r s o n I llustration by sue rynn ,

but ! hot

steams from from steams

crickets

literary | 16 blue light

And the lushing cars pass, Sorry, spud, Sorry, with fire now, now, with fire Old Jim screams, The earth is mine! Old Jim screams, fire fighting are We me, AIDS! Cure pockets, pockets, into held ourselves We breath, every and escaped from say to you I turned to and when were you who something I forgot me, and to next were you and why going to I was what then I forgot put in the first place. I let you say a little me for arm around your the out into but then walked while the corridor between blue streetlit stink boozing cars and drunk-lined houses. You and cardboard alleys on your had this hurt expression in around eyes your and rolled face stress Baoding two hand like your balls. Down on the block a week ago Old on the block a week Down standing on his soapbox Jim was his arms in howling and swinging birds light; hot white that trail arcs behind doors the of out and in flying his ears. searching bleary-bad, and trying to to and trying bleary-bad, searching Big old fried ways. in unnatural care rimmed in golden buckets chicken into mothers trick bungled grease man carries his sad Every obesity. in his left hand. around eyes They’re searching They’re Through the ozone layer of layer the ozone Through dirt I look at the Kazakhstan masses mobbed faces. their together crabbling these days have mechanical failure mechanical failure have these days at times so just sit back and rub the ride until the against yourself flowers for spots turn tricks sore against and the dust just chatters and roll in the moonlight teeth your the sidewalk back across eyes your and now happy because you’re and sometime if your later happy it time comes, which forgetting that the person just remember may, it. is worth leaving you’re life whose Sometimes their mothers or try to or boyfriends brothers them, that one lost soul remind miracles he can make that thinks in another’s mind, but this as the epic as often about works comas. long term from comebacks potholes and the streets are golden are potholes and the streets and electric and once in a while ones their loved who people forget with no memories out walk and are the dirty mob without any into losing. are they conception of what the college hill independent X | 18 pat e n t ly r i d i c u l o u s

c o m p i l e d b y In the United States, inventors seeking patents for their brainchildren must meet three main criteria: the invention should (1) be novel, (2) be unobvious, and (3) G i l l i a n B r a s s i l produce a useful, concrete and tangible result.

Patent laws are generally only enforced through civil suits claiming infringement, though suit-bringers beware: defendants have the right to challenge the validity of the patents themselves—and courts often agree that the patent in question is wack. METHOD OF CONCEALING PARTIAL BALDNESS This is unsurprising, considering what’s made it through.

For those people who are partially bald and wish to cover the bald area, hair transplants, hair weaving, and hairpieces are the most commonly used solutions. The cost of covering bald areas by one of these methods can range from a few hundred dollars to thousands of dollars depending on a person’s choice COMBINED TOY ARMADILLO AND AIR and financial means. Some of these commonly used bald area FRESHENER coverings require periodic care, which generally cost money. Jesus A. Carbajales Santa-Eulalia and Javier B. Carbajales READILY PORTABLE BURRITO Obviously a partially bald person without the financial means Santa-Eulalia (because what calls for a family affair more cannot afford the luxury of such hair coverings. This person, than an armadillo air freshener?) have dozens of other therefore, has few options; he can attempt to use his own hair patents, all of them animal-related. Their specialty appears A highly portable Mexican-type food item is provided and to cover the bald area, but generally most people do not have to be figurine designs, a line featuring a water buffalo, a more specifically a burrito-type product on a stick... The por- the ability to properly plan a hair style that will look good, and baby orca, a condor, a skunk, a lemur, and two unicorn tability of the burrito product thus approaches that of an ice most attempts result in brushing the hair in one direction over models—one sitting, one rising. cream bar or a coated hot dog having a stick impaled in one the bald area, or he can allow his baldness to show. end thereof, for example.

Frank J. Smith and Donald J. Smith: inventing a combover that looks good so you won’t have to.

METHOD OF EXERCISING A CAT

Cats are not characteristically disposed toward voluntary aerobic exercise. It becomes the burden of the cat owner to create situations of sufficient interest to the feline to induce even short-lived and modest exertion for the health and well-being of the pet. Cats are, however, fascinated by light and enthralled by unpredictable jumpy movements… Intense sunlight reflected from a mirror or focused through a prism, if the room is sufficiently dark, will, when moved irregularly, cause even the more sedentary of cats to scamper after the lighted image in an amusing and therapeutic game of “cat and mouse.” The disruption of having to darken a room to stage a cat workout and the uncertainty of collecting a convenient sunbeam in a lens or mirror render these approaches to establishing a regular life-enhancing cat exercise routine inconvenient at best.

In accordance with the present invention, a light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation (laser) device in a small hand-held configuration is used to project and move a bright pattern of light around a room to amuse and exercise a cat.

APRIL 8, 2010 theindy.org FRI 9 NOON-2PM What Can I Do With a Degree in English? Alumni Perspectives on Life After Brown. Tell me baby girl cuz I need to know @ 70 Brown St., Room 315 // free & open to members of the Brown community 4PM The College Hill Independent defeats the Brown Daily Herald by what proves to be an embarassing amount in the Biannual Kickball Xxxtravaganza @ Pembroke Field // stripes 6-10PM SLAVIC FESTIVAL. Slavs know how to party, take it from one who’s known some @ Sayles Hall // $6-$12 7PM My Penis: An Exhibition by André St. Clair Thompson, part of The Black Laven- der Experience @ Rites & Reason Theatre // free and open to the public 7PM The Sound, an original play about wiz- ards by Sam Alper. Through April 11 @ 13th Street Repertory, W. 13th St. between 5th and 6th, Manhattan // $10-20 8PM STOMACH LEVEL CRAVINGS Take 2 @ ask where // BYOB 9PM Divine Intervention: The Ultimate John Waters Tribute with MAHIMAHI, What Cheer? Brigade, Tinsel Teeth, Nicky Click, + Dance Party Finale w/ DJ Morgan Louis @ The Grand Ballroom of the Providence Bilt- more, 11 Dorrance St. // $6 adv/$8 door 10PM Speakeasy Sessions: Vol. IV–Maximum Volume @ Grad Center Lounge // $ SAT 10 1:30-5PM Second Annual Brown University Crossword Tournament, headlined by Puzzle- master Will Shortz!!! @ Macmillan 117 4-6PM The Spring Princess Tea Party. No, not that kind of Tea Party. One with the 2010 Miss Rhode Island contestants to benefi t the Children’s Miracle Network @ Mach- ado House // free, suggested donation $10 MON 12 7-9PM Pouring Tea: Black Gay Men of the 6PM Zugunruhe Lecture Series with David Wilson, Found- South Tell Their Tales by E. Patrick John- ing Director at the Museum of Jurassic Technology: son, part of The Black Lavender Experience Nikolai Fedorov, Konstantin Tsiolkvsky, and the Roots @ Rites & Reason Theatre // free and open of the Russian Space Program @ List 120 // free to the public 8PM Aurea Concert: Refl ections on Rilke, Part 1 @ Grant 7PM Juiceboxxx, Ninjasonik, Math the Band, Recital Hall Kokomo, + Shams @ Firehouse XIII, 41 Cen- tral St. // $7 TUE 13 8PM Dirty Projectors @ Cape Cinema, Rt. NOON-2PM Anarchist Lunch! We Are An Image From 6A, Dennis, Cape Cod, MA // $20 adv/$25 the Future: The Greek Revolt of December 2008 door USA Tour @ AS220, 115 Empire St. // free 4-5PM “Mikhail Kuzmin and Anti-Gay Censorship SUN 11 1:05PM Pawtucket Red Sox vs. Rochester Red in Russia” A lecture by Dr. Alexander Timofeev Wings @ McCoy Stadium, Pawtucket // pretty @ Marston Hall // free damn cheap 7:30-9PM “The Lnd of the Free and the Elements 3PM Brown University Gilbert and Sullivan of Style” A lecture by Geoffrey Pullum @ Met- presents “The Pirates of Penzance” @ Alum- calf Chemistry Building Auditorium // free nae Hall // free WED 14 9PM Riot Acts: Flaunting Gender Deviance 7PM “The Unrule of Law in the Occupied Terri- in Music Performance (SENE Film Festival) tories: Prison and Human Rights” A comparative @ The Cable Car, 204 S. Main St. // $8 panel on International and Human Rights Law in Israel/Palestine and the US @ Kassar House // free 7PM “What the %@&*! Happened to Comics?” A lecture with images by Art Spiegelman @ List 120 // 1 free ticket per Brown/RISD ID 9PM Daniel Francis Doyle, Math the Band, Div- ets, + Global Crash @ AS220, // $6 THU 15 8-9PM A Reading by John D’Agata @ McCor- mack Family Theater // free and open to the public 8-9PM Brown New Music presents: GREEN TEA PARTY. Don’t pay your taxes! Come by Grant instead for an evening of experimental music featuring the East-Asian avant-garde @ Grant Recital Hall // free 9:30PM-1AM Benefi t Party for Partners in Health–Haiti @ Waterplace, 1 Finance Way // $donation

Lola & Margo spent all day on the grass