UNDERSTANDING GRIEF and LOSS It’S Normal and Healthy to Mourn Any Kind of Loss

UNDERSTANDING

Grief is a psychological and emotional response to loss. While grief is universal, we all grieve in diﬀerent ways. Because of this complexity, we often struggle with how to talk about it. GRIEF IS MORE THAN JUST BEREAVEMENT Grief is a normal and natural response Loss is when you are deprived of or cease to to loss. Many of us associate grief with have something or someone important to bereavement—the death of a loved you in your life. Here are some examples one; however, there are many kinds FORE- of diﬀerent kinds of loss. of loss that may result in grief. CLOSED

LOSS OF A JOB OR FINANCIAL SECURITY

LOSS OF SAFETY

LOSS OF CHILD

LOSS OF A HOPE DEATH OF OR DREAM FOR LOVED ONE(S) THE FUTURE LOSS OF HEALTH

CHANGES IN IDENTITY OR WAY OF LIFE DIVORCE OR LOSS OF A RELATIONSHIP SUICIDE

DEATH OF LOSS OF PRIZED POSSESSION A PET

EVERYONE’S EXPERIENCE IS UNIQUE There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Pain and suﬀering is a wholly individual experience, and everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace. Here are some common reactions to loss:

Emotional Physical Behavioral Sadness, loneliness, shock, Aches, pains, headaches, Short-tempered, distracted, disbelief, jealousy, anxiety, nausea, change in confused, forgetful, crying, prone fear, guilt, regret, anger, appetite, insomnia, fatigue, to mistakes, isolated from others, emotional detachment, reduced immunity, lacking motivation, trouble panic, resentment increased blood pressure concentrating, substance abuse

UNDERSTANDING GRIEF AND LOSS It’s normal and healthy to mourn any kind of loss. Be patient with yourself and others. Avoid making judgments about the severity of a loss or the “right” to grieve. Here is some information to consider:

No time limit on grief Some of us will be ready to return to work and normal activities in a few days or weeks. But others will need much longer to process and grieve. Sometimes grief is experienced in cycles where setbacks are triggered by a signiﬁcant date or memory.

Domino eﬀect of grief Stigma around grief Some losses can trigger auxiliary Disenfranchised grief occurs when losses, amplifying the initial feelings we experience a loss that others of grief. For example, a divorce can may not understand, making us feel lead to loss of one’s home, ﬁnancial that we cannot openly acknowledge security, sense of purpose or identity, or mourn publicly. time with children, connection with family, friends, and community.

IMPACT TO YOUR Don’t ignore some of the warning signs: MENTAL HEALTH The feelings of grief generally lessen over time. But for some of us, grief can become overwhelming and debilitating, disrupting our ability to work, carry out daily activities, and engage in satisfying relationships. DEPRESSION ANXIETY SUICIDAL THOUGHTS OR TROUBLE ABUSE OF SUBSTANCES RECKLESS BEHAVIORS WITH SLEEP LIKE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS

WHERE TO GET HELP When grief gets complicated and you or someone you know struggle for an extended period after a loss, it may be time to seek additional help.

From your employer: Mental health services From online resources: Learn more about may be available to you through your health grief and mental health from the National insurance plan at work or through an Employee Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI), National Assistance Program (EAP) provided. Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), or Mental Health America (MHA)

From your doctor: Talk to your primary care physician about your experience with grief. If the situation is potentially They can provide you with coping strategies life-threatening, call 911 immediately or refer you to a mental health professional If you are having suicidal thoughts or are with experience in grief counseling. worried that someone you know might be suicidal or emotionally distressed, reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

From your community: Grief centers and care CALL: 1-800-273-TALK (8255) providers oﬀer a variety of services to individuals LIVE CHAT ONLINE: and families coping with loss. Many programs https://SuicidePreventionLifeline.org/chat/ include support groups or individual therapy.

SUPPORTING COLLEAGUES THROUGH TOUGH TIMES It’s diﬃcult to know what to say or do when someone experiences a loss. And we may inadvertently withdraw from them at the time they need our support the most. Here are some tips to consider:

Be compassionate Be respectful Acknowledge their loss and let them It’s their choice to share know you care Some people welcome the Express your sympathy. People notice and opportunity to share with value the sentiments expressed by friends and colleagues. Others colleagues and leaders—it shows they care. may need a little more time or want to keep their situation private. Give them their space.

Be courageous Be persistent It’s never too late to reach out Keep checking in Silence and avoidance can leave Someone may look like they someone feeling isolated and abandoned. are coping well but inside, Don’t let your fear of saying the wrong thing they may be falling apart. Grief prevent you from being there for someone. doesn’t have an expiration date. Be brave and reach out. Then take your cues Keep checking in weeks from them in how to proceed. and months later.

Be present Be patient Be encouraging Show up and listen Grieving is a process Show that you genuinely care Don’t feel you have to do or say As your colleague returns to work, they Invite them out for coffee, lunch, or something specific. Just be there. Be may need some time to readjust. Mood group activities. They may not patient and available to listen. For many swings and distractibility can be common. accept every time, but they still like people, talking is part of the healing Be accepting and continue to offer to be included. Offer to help in process. Listening shows that you care. support where you can. practical ways.

WHAT YOU CAN SAY WHAT NOT TO SAY Never force someone to open up. Acknowledge the magnitude Avoid comparing your own grief experiences or trying to provide of the loss and oﬀer your support. Just being present and answers. Everyone's grief is unique. Be an active listener and willing to listen compassionately can be a source of comfort. allow them to express their emotions. Phrases designed to focus Here are some helpful phrases: on the “positive” side of loss should be avoided.

I could do [ﬁll in I’m so sorry to gesture here]. You’re still young. You can [have At least hear about Would that be helpful? more kids/get married again]. they are your loss. no longer I’m not sure what to say, but I know how suﬀering. I want you to know I care. you feel.

I can’t imagine I care and You’ll get over I’m here if it and move what that was Everything happens you want on in time. like for you. for a reason. to talk.

SELF-CARE STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH GRIEF Any signiﬁcant loss creates a void in our life and grief is a normal and healthy response. But grief can also be emotionally and physically exhausting. Here are some strategies to help you cope with grief:

Allow yourself to experience Be kind to yourself the pain and loss Allow your grief to unfold at Let yourself grieve and fully experience a pace that is natural for your feelings without judgment. you. Don't judge or criticize It’s OK to be not OK. Set aside private yourself for not coping time and space to process and as well or healing as quickly release the intense emotions that may as you think you should. arise. If necessary, seek professional help for guidance on how to cope with your loss.

Express your grief Take a break from grieving Talking about your loss and sadness may Part of healing is going back and help you process and release your forth between experiencing the feelings. Seek out support from friends grief and adjusting to the new and family that you feel comfortable “normal.” Avoid isolating around even when you aren’t yourself from others. feeling well. Consider joining a Take time out to enjoy the support group in your company of supportive community. Capturing your friends and family. feelings, thoughts, and A healthy distraction may memories in a journal can be just the thing you need. also help you reﬂect and heal.

Build resilient habits Manage your energy Sometimes grief is so Grief is depleting and overwhelming, we forget basic the “brain fog” is distracting. self-care practices. Try to get Plan slack in your day restful sleep at night, eat and take extra breaks for nutritious meals, and engage recovery. If you’ve in physical activities. Include returned to work, plan relaxation and meditation for a sanctuary space practices. Keeping a daily to escape when routine can help you the emotions well up. structure your time to maintain normalcy.

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