St. Paul Lutheran Church 701 Washington Street Grafton, WI 53024
THEPARENTLINK 262-377-4659 splgraton.org September 2013 FOR PARENTS OF TEENS
HELP KIDS OVERCOME FEARS THE VIEW As young people head back to the classroom, some pretty significant fears Here are more stats about U.S. teen- are accompanying them. According to ad agency JWT, 78% of U.S. teenag- agers’ top fears: ers say they’re worried whether there will be good jobs after graduation, 69% are worried about doing well in school, and 67% are worried about which The condition of the planet left college will accept them. Combined with other top adolescent fears (see “The to their generation (64%) View”), that amounts to a lot of baggage to lug around. How their parents are doing fi- nancially (63%) To help relieve academic stress, experts recommend that parents take the fol- Real-world bullying (57%) lowing steps: Discuss your expectations; assure kids you’re proud of them How attractive they are to oth- when they try their best, no matter the outcome; stay involved, showing in- ers (52%) terest in their classes and activities; be available to help and talk when need- Doing well in sports and extra- ed; and watch for sudden declines in academic performance, which may indi- curricular activities (50%) cate a learning disorder or emotional distress. How popular they are at school (46%) Beyond the classroom, help teens conquer fears by offering these reminders: Online bullying (43%) FEAR can stand for False Evidence Appearing Real. Don’t let the devil How many friends they have conjure up “what ifs” that won’t come close to reality. (39%) When you’re paralyzed by fear, you won’t be able to live up to your God- Keeping up with other kids their given potential. age (36%) Rely on God’s Word, which has the power to break through our fears and —JTW will show us how to handle them with wisdom and strength.
PONDER THIS TIPS >>>
Although God tells us to Write down or memorize some What would you say are “fear” (or respect) him, he doesn’t Scriptures. Verses such as He- your teenagers’ top fears, want us to be consumed by a spir- brews 13:5-6 and 1 Peter 5:7 will and why? What attempts at it of fear. Here are some ways to help you trust God’s promises when offering reassurance seem get a grip on our fears: fears and anxieties creep into your effective or ineffective? mind. Distinguish between healthy and unhealthy fear. Take time to get to Make wise statements and decisions What causes you the most the bottom of whether your fear is to help you avoid fears. The book of flowing from a positive or negative Proverbs advises Christians to use anxiety, and how do you source. wisdom, sound judgment, and dis- tend to cope with stress? Decide to surrender unhealthy fear cernment. Repeat these statements to overcome fears: through trusting Jesus more. Many How can you remember to damaging fears that linger in our lives “I am not alone.” turn your fears over to God? are the result of a lack of faith. We hold on to them because we subcon- “I don’t have to live in fear.” sciously think Jesus won’t be able to take care of them properly. “I can make wise choices.” Do a few things that will cause you to confront your fears. Talking with a trusted friend or mentor, taking risks in those areas of fear, and laying fears down at Jesus’ feet can bring freedom from negative thoughts.
DELICIOUSLY SCARED Expert Insights for Parents of Teenagers By Steve Merritt
Ever been deliciously scared? Think drives out fear.” Some writers say that That sounds foolish, but we all get caught of late -night campfire stories that in the New Testament, the opposite of up in some form of awfulizing at times. make the hairs on the back of your love isn’t hate but fear. When we relate neck stand on end. When we’re on out of fear, it’s hard to love because Manufactured fear and awfulizing almost high alert, we feel strangely alive— fear likes control but love doesn’t. always take us toward control. And control especially when we’re scaring our- When we parent out of fear, we try to takes us away from love. Confronting our selves. control kids. During adolescence, fear fears is the first step back toward love— takes root as teenagers understand and toward the loving God who tells us to Manufactured fears actually help us more, see more, feel more, and want “fear not.” feel in control in our fear-permeated more. This is fertile soil for fear and world. Because we’re petrified of battles over control. Discuss these questions with your kids: genuine fear, we tend to create it, How does our culture (both secular and personally and as a culture. Scaring In counseling, one form of manufac- Christian) scare itself? ourselves helps us stay one step tured fear is “awfulizing.” That’s when What are some ways you see people ahead of potential monsters in the thoughts gravitate to the worst-case awfulizing? How do you do it? dark. Fear and control are indelibly scenario. Like the young person with a In what ways is fear the opposite of linked. sprained ankle who asks, “Doc, when love? How are fear and control con- do you have to amputate?” we jump to nected, and what’s the result? First John 4:18 (NIV) says, “There is what we fear most so as not to be no fear in love. But perfect love caught off-guard. RESOURCE
BIBLE FOCUS In the downloadable resource No Fear Living (Simply Youth Ministry), “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be veteran youth leader Doug Fields dismayed, for I am your God. I will strength-
offers four Bible-based messages en you and help you; I will uphold you with
about how to break free from fears. my righteous right hand. … For I am the Topics include fear of failure, fear Lord, your God, who takes hold of your of rejection, fear of commitment, right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I and fear of the future. will help you.” Isaiah 41:10, 13
MEDIA SPOTLIGHT
MAINSTREAM MUSIC CHRISTIAN MUSIC MOVIES
Movie: Riddick
Genre: Action, Sci-Fi
Rating: R
Synopsis: This new film in the unexpectedly popular
series finds antihero Riddick (Vin Diesel) stranded on a ROBIN THICKE NEWSBOYS planet, fighting for his life.
Background: The Newsboys Our Take: The R rating Background: This 36-year-old R&B have been around since the mid- should be reason enough to singer got his start writing hits for ’80s, but no original members keep kids away. Based on singers such as Brandy and Christina remain. They’ve stayed popular the other films in the fran- Aguilera. But he’s come into his amid all the changes, including chise, this one will contain own, especially with the popularity of the addition of former dc Talk lots of violence and lan- the Blurred Lines album and song. member Michael Tait as lead guage. The video, of which there’s a version singer. In the ’90s, when the filled with nearly naked women, has Newsboys collaborated with Ste- received criticism for being misogyn- ve Taylor, their songs were full Movie: Battle of the Year istic. One critic called it “kind of of sarcasm and humor to get at rapey.” Thicke’s songs are chock-full Genre: Drama, Musical the truth. The lyrics are straight- of sex. Interestingly, he met his wife forward now. Rating: Not yet rated when he was 16, and they’ve been
married since 2005. Synopsis: A team of danc- Albums: Restart (2013), God’s ers must work together to Albums: Blurred Lines (2013), Sex Not Dead (2010), Adoration win back an international Therapy (2009), The Evolution of (2003) title for the U.S. Robin Thicke (2006) What the Newsboys Say: Lead Our Take: Feel-good, over- What Thicke Says: “For me, nudi- singer Tait says, “People will be coming-obstacles movies ty is the least offensive thing in the excited about this album because offer temporary warm fuzz- whole world. Guns, violence, war? we’ve pushed the music and tak- ies—and dance musicals That’s offensive. … We’re not ogling en it further than we’ve ever tak- seem to be especially popu- and degrading [women]; we’re laugh- en it before. I haven’t felt this lar. Our Take really relies ing and being silly with them.” way about anything I’ve been on what this is rated. Explore: The censored version of involved in musically since Jesus “Blurred Lines” is available online Freak.” at: www.youtube.com/watch? v=yyDUC1LUXSU. You can also Explore: You can watch the watch Thicke, Jimmy Fallon, and story of “Live With Abandon” The Roots do a version here: here: www.youtube.com/watch? www.youtube.com/watch? v=6E_DeBNh46U. v=YOZjaqHioro
VIDEO GAMES Diablo III—This action-RPG is making its way from the PC (where it’s been out for more than a year) to the console. Your hero fights through randomly generated levels—facing hordes of evil creatures—until squaring off against Diablo himself. (Rated: M; Xbox 360, PS3, PC)
Grand Theft Auto V—This open-world sandbox game was one of the first of its kind. The games are well -made, interesting, and push the limits of storytelling. They’re also full of sex, violence, and horrible things that you’re doing as the “hero.” (Rated: M; Xbox 360, PS3, PC)