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T W E E K LY “A newspaperR is a mirror reflecting the public, a mirror more or less defective, but still a mirror.” -Arthur Brisbane Volumelume ?,38, Number Number ? 6 1000 Hilltop Circle, Baltimore, MD 21250 SeptemberMonth Day 30,, 2003Year

Inside UMBC Prof. Staff Senate News...... page 1 Comic books, Discusses Model UN, and the ghosts of Old Ellicott City. Campus Concerns

JESSICA LYNCH Retriever Weekly Staff Writer

The Professional Staff Senate Opinion.....page 8 of UMBC convened Thursday in the If you’re registered Commons Cabaret for a meet and to vote on the pri- greet in which those involved had a mary, you’re one chance to enjoy refreshments, and step ahead of hear the points of view of other rep- LaRouche. resentatives on different issues. The meeting was hosted by Jim Citro, President of both the Professional Staff Senate and the Steering Committee; and Joe Hill, File photo Vice President of the Professional Fall Comes to Campus: Temperatures dropped in the area this week as the seasons began to Staff Senate and President of change. The Commons, shown here in an undated photo, provided warm respite from the chill. Council of University Systems Staff Features.....page 14 (CUSS). Playboy gears up The Professional Staff Senate for their 50th (PSS) has been instrumental in anniversary, ensuring the rights of not only the movies and music Blue Lights Ensure Campus Safety staff at UMBC, but the faculty, stu- reviews abound. PATRICK TYLER how often are these resources a normal call as being informa- dents, and campus itself, as well. The PSS, which consists of five indi- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer used? tional with callers requesting According to police bus information or campus vidual senates, tackles “community Blue lights are one of those records, in 2002 there were phone numbers. There are also concerns on a campus and adminis- campus staples that many stu- roughly 100 calls made from more serious calls for motorist trative level,” explained Joe Hill. dents don’t notice, like ciga- blue light phones. Jennifer assistance. At times phones The group is part of CUSS, rette receptacles and over- Dattoli, a dispatcher for the malfunction, causing a call sig- which includes 13 University of Sports...... page 22 stocked bulletin boards. For UMBC Police Department, said nal to be sent without anyone Maryland system institutions and the system office. Volleyball wins nearly 20 years, 78 blue light that she receives “a couple of pressing the call button. Prank The main goal of the PSS is to two at the phones have been on campus in calls a week” from the blue calls are also a problem. Autumn Classic the event of an emergency – but light phones. Dattoli described see BLUE LIGHT, page 4 see SENATE, page 7 and Adam Driscoll is AOTW. Redefining “Fast” Food How quickly can you grab lunch on Also check out: college news...... page 2 campus? The Retriever investigates... world news...... page 3 JOE MAHER has timed how long it takes to classifieds...... page 27 plow through these dreadful Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Commons food lines, so that you know where to go for your time four day forecast Retrievers generally don’t complain about the quality of cam- crunched schedule. Tuesday: mostly sunny, low If its 12:50 and you’re hoping 48, high 66 pus food, we’ve got a broad selec- tion of decent fast food joints to to sneak in a quick bite before your Wednesday: chance of one o’clock class you can stop by a evening showers, low 43, high satisfy our constant hunger. Not to 64 mention that we have plenty of “grab and go” station, where you time to build up an appetite wait- can get in an out in three minutes Thursday: partly cloudy, low or less. In just a minute or two you 43, high 61 ing for the food to be prepared. So, maybe your not so thrilled can use the Market Fresh mini- Friday: partly cloudy, low 46, mart to pick up a pre-made salad, high 58 about the long waits and unforgiv- ing lunchtime lines that you face sandwich or, California roll. Anita Fields / Retriever Weekly Staff when you buy food from the Second on the list is Jazzman’s In case of emergency: Blue lights and the associated call boxes Commons. To help you get past café, where in three minutes you help to make UMBC a safer place for students to walk at night. this problem, the Retriever Weekly see FOOD LINES page 3 Page 2 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS September 30, 2003

BehindtheScenes College News Behind the Scenes with Dr. LaCourse Harry Potter, the college course SHIRA HELETZ another. “Family was and is very impor- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer tant to me. My daughter is the center of FROSTBURG (AP) — Harry Potter is my world and that’s how it should be.” in college — as a subject, not a student. If you think that eggs, star wars, To Dr. LaCourse his initial interest in “The Science of Harry Potter,” a three-cred- and peanut butter and jelly have nothing chemistry didn’t stem from a class, but it honors seminar new this fall at Frostburg to do with Chemistry class, then you from building boats with his father. State University, offers fans of J.K. obviously haven’t had a class with Dr. While working outside and building with Rowling’s popular fantasy novels an oppor- William LaCourse. Dr. LaCourse teach- his own hands, he gained an appreciation es Chemistry 101 this semester, a tunity to study the links between magic and for tools and how things worked and fit Cutline / Cutline science. course that many science and non-sci- together. To Dr. LaCourse, chemistry is Caption Head: Caption goes here. Can antigravity research produce a fly- ence most likely end up taking. His just an amplification of that. Chemistry And here. ing broomstick? Can Fluffy, the three-head- quirky stories and odd connections explains how everyday events occur. His ed dog, be explained by genetic engineer- between real life and chemistry theories work with tools inspired a need to make a matter of laziness.” When he hears ing? make his class memorable. Dr. “better tools that helped people and made students complain about their course Those are some of the questions LaCourse started teaching at UMBC in their lives better.” As a result, the path of load, although he understands, he physics professor George R. Plitnik is 1992. UMBC was attractive to him not an analytical chemist, who researches knows that it could be much worse. exploring with 15 students, mostly juniors only because of the new analytical different chemical methods and tools, Although he enjoyed his work at and seniors. He says the class is not all fun chemistry program that was just starting seemed the most right for him. Phizer, not teaching wasn’t an option. and games, despite his penchant for dressing out but also because it was a great envi- Because of his financial situation and Dr. LaCourse genuine concern and up as Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of ronment, “President Hrabrowski talks the cost of education, Dr. LaCourse took interest in his students understanding is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and about how this is a home for nerds, and a less than conventional path to work obvious, “I have a true desire to help Wizardry. I’m a nerd. So I knew that I would fit in towards his PhD. After graduating from people. It’s what fulfills me. People “This is not something where you just well here.” the top 10% of his high school, he always say ‘do it for yourself’. Well, I show up and talk about Harry Potter books Dr. LaCourse grew up in Noridge, worked towards his associate degree at can do a lot more for others than I can and get a grade,” Plitnik said before donning Connecticut which you can tell because Kennedy College, a college that puts do for myself.” his black wizard’s hat and robe for a recent of his northeastern accent. He grew up most of its effort into training more tech- session. “This is a college-level class.” with a large family of two brothers and nicians. He then attended University of Frostburg State, a public school in three sisters. “My dad liked it even. He Connecticut but dropped out after a year Quick Questions western Maryland with average annual liked the symmetry of it with the three because of the financial strain it put on undergraduate enrollment of 4,300, isn’t the girls and three boys”. His father was a himself and his family. He found a job at If you could be any cartoon only institution of higher education offering natural philosopher, “He taught me les- Phizer Pharmaceutical company. character who would you be? a scholarly take on the Potter phenomenon. sons. Taught me that if I didn’t use my Although he enjoyed his work there Pinky and the Brain. Pinky seems The books were featured in a “Literature for head I had no chance to get farther and because he got a chance to see his work pretty happy. Young Adults” course at Kent State achieve.” end up in a finished, tangible product, he University in Ohio, and Cerritos College, in Dr. LaCourse and his family grew still wanted to work towards his PhD. He What was your best Halloween up poor. Although his father owned his Norwalk, Calif., has an introductory compo- took classes at Northeastern University costume? sition class, “Words and Magic: Harry Potter own business as an electrician, new while working and went on to finish his My best Halloween costume was and Vocabulary,” this fall. technological advances led people to post doctorate at Ames Lab in Iowa. the one I made for my daughter. We Plitnik’s seminar may be the first sci- throw away things, like radios, instead His hard work in college to work and dressed her up as a bag of M&M’s. ence-based Harry Potter class offered for of getting them repaired. Although they study at the same time gave him a college credit, although other schools, didn’t have much money, they did have refreshing perspective on what someone including Penn State University, have devel- pride and the belief that they could live is capable of. “I learned that anything What is your favorite food? oped similar programs for children’s sum- on their own. They depended on one you can set your mind to, you do. It’s not Whatever my wife makes. mer camps. Plitnik designed his course after read- ing “The Science of Harry Potter: How Model United Nations: A Model of Excellence Magic Really Works,” by London-based science writer Roger Highfield. The book, OLIVER BARANCZYK United Nations conference, open to any col- global issues and other countries’ view of published last year, uses Rowling’s fanciful Retriever Weekly Staff Writer lege within the United States. Then, in the these issues.” creations as springboards for what The New spring, New York City plays host to another Recently, the officers set the roster for York Times Book Review called “an enjoy- For many students, when looking at the conference, however, the spring conference this fall’s conference in Chicago, where ably indirect survey of modern science.” different organizational clubs, seeing the is open to international colleges and univer- UMBC will take 20 students and represent In the book, one of two required texts in heading of “Intellectual Sports” often merits sities as well. the nations of Croatia and Iraq in the com- Plitnik’s class, Highfield discusses Muggle a rather puzzled response. With constituen- Since its inception in 1995, UMBC’s mittee proceedings. Taking place over a four- (ordinary human) technology capable of cies like the Chess Club, Genesis Model United Nations has attended each day span in the days leading up to approximating such magical effects as walk- Toastmasters, the Mock Trial Team, and conference and built a favorable reputation Thanksgiving, the members will be repre- ing through walls and regrowing bones. He Model United Nations, Intellectual Sports for itself due to its excellence in each compe- senting not only their respective nations, but covers the latest research on teleportation — require more than a decent level of physical tition. Serving as the faculty advisor, Dr. UMBC as a whole as well. “apparating” in the Potter books — and fitness. Cynthia Hody, also the chair of the Political While Model United Nations does devotes an entire chapter to Bertie Bott’s While the Chess Club receives a lot of Science department, has seen MUN grow receive funding from the Student Every Flavor Beans and the science of taste. attention at UMBC, and rightfully so, anoth- and prosper since its humble beginnings. Government Association (SGA), many con- Plitnik’s students must do similar er Intellectual Sport that has made a name for This year Model United Nations has ferences expenses are not covered by the research for their final project, a written and itself is the Model United Nations team. enjoyed a large turnout that sees a mixture of allocations. To combat that situation, Model oral presentation on a scientific topic with a Simulating the actions taken towards real old and new faces. After watching many United Nations members participate in sev- Harry Potter theme. It accounts for a fifth of international issues, the members of Model experienced members graduate last spring, eral fund-raising events, such as selling their grade. Other grading factors include United Nations are granted the opportunity to the addition of several interested students is a Krispy Kreme doughnuts and hosting a date two written exams and daily quizzes on experience some of the responsibilities of a welcome occurrence. As expected, the exec- auction. Additionally, the officers are looking assigned reading in the Highfield book and delegate of the United Nations. utive board officers of MUN share between to attract a delegate from the Croatian in a collection of critical essays, “Reading A recognized club since 1995, UMBC’s them a wealth of experience; President Irena embassy to speak on its behalf. Harry Potter,” edited by Giselle Liza Anatol, Model United Nations team simulates the Auer, Treasurer Melissa Kirkendall, and The only way left for Model United an assistant professor of English at the work of delegates of the United Nations. Secretary Rob Crow each have attended sev- Nations is up, and the interest of all who are University of Kansas. However, the members do not simply lock eral conferences in the past. involved is evident with each weekly meet- They are not required to have read all themselves in a room and talk about the Although many members did graduate, ing. As for the impact of Model United five Potter books. Four of the 14 students at issues; there are two Model United Nations the influx of new faces is beneficial for the Nations and its worth to those involved, one recent session acknowledged having conferences each year, both of which have future, as Kirkendall elucidated, “I’m very President Irena Auer divulged, “I love done so, although all had read at least one or UMBC students in attendance. Each fall, the pleased that several of the new team mem- MUN—it is the reason I like to wake up seen one of the two Harry Potter movies. city of Chicago hosts an American Model bers are so enthusiastic about learning about Monday mornings.” September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 3

but Sad True underage girl, filed a lawsuit against ell, either by divine inspira- It Made Me Think of Seinfeld tion or from eating bad the facility because of the mental W stress and anguish and weight-loss Chinese food, I have been called 2003—Scene: someone is working, late at night, on some important home- caused by finding a fly in his mashed World News to start weaseling in a bit of work or other assignment. A strange, yet potatoes. And the post office in Fulton, UMBC happenings into this unmistakable sound comes from the Mo., removed a tape dispenser that had Colombians Tell AP U.S. Pilots globe-spanning column. Seems front door. Investigation ensues. While long been available for customers to Face Risks that UMBC has some crazy the victim looked through their peep- seal packages, because a customer had hurt himself using it and had filed a hole in horror, a very intoxicated resi- CUCUTA, Colombia (AP) - Steep goings on, and I feel that, as an claim against the Postal Service. dent urinated on their door, even though mountains, thick jungles: U.S. govern- editor, it is my job to make you, the resident’s door to their room was the reader, feel sort of strange ment-contracted pilots are facing immense only footsteps away. Wait… Is that a Valid Excuse challenges and hazards as they fumigate for coming here. Last week, to do Anything? drug crops at ground-hugging altitudes in some of you guessed correctly, Definitely Law & Order their latest offensive in eastern Colombia. in that I took statistics in a sad, Material, Dontcha Think? 2003—Bowling Green, Kentucky: But the pilots’missions are made even but true, story and inflated them A disoriented woman was found on the dicier because they are flying beyond areas for your reading pleasure. A cou- 2003—Between June and August, side of the highway one night by a cleared of rebels by army troops, two sen- high school dropout Jonathan Harris, local state trooper, wandering around ior Colombian army commanders told The ple of folks caught on. I like it 34, acted as his own lawyer in three in her nightrobe while a car, flipped on Associated Press. The practice, which they when that happens. Philadelphia felony cases and won them it’s side and smashed into a large tree, say exposes pilots to hostile fire, goes As usual, it is YOUR job all, including a murder trial that could burned. The trooper said that the against tactics normally used in the anti- to write to me and tell me how have sent him to death row. At press woman had claimed that her dead hus- drug campaign - and may have already I’ve tried to lie to you, giving a time, he had scheduled two more for band had come to her in her sleep, and cost one contractor his life. himself, on a 2001 gun charge and at a told her to kill herself, so they could be Mario Alvarado, a native of Costa false gem scattered amongst the new trial on several lesser charges relat- together again, by the mandate of God. Rica who worked for an unidentified U.S. bizarre factoids that comprise ed to the murder (although he had taunt- The woman had been visibly upset company, was killed Sunday when his this corner of the News section. ed a prosecutor in court about taking because she had not succeeded in plane crashed while fumigating coca crops If you do so, and get it right, I him on again). The prosecutor blamed doing so. in the rebel stronghold of Catatumbo. The have no choice but to steal the murder verdict on unreliable and no- U.S. State Department said the OV-10 show witnesses. apparently “was struck by hostile ground something supercool from the And They Call Themselves Criminals? fire.” Government troops were in promo stuff (which includes CDs, The Original Title? “Wimpy Catatumbo, but nowhere near the pilot’s route. clothing, dumb stuff and movie Americans” 2003—Zachary G. Holloway, 20, “Where the planes sprayed on tickets) before the excitable edi- and a pal were arrested in Springfield, Sunday, the troops weren’t there. They torial board snatches it up and 2003—Ms. Jamila Glauber filed a Ill., in September and charged with were a five-minute helicopter ride away, or lawsuit against the transit system in breaking into one car (and stealing, fights over it and causes people several days travel by foot,” said Gen. Juneau, Alaska, because a driver’s among other things, a motorcycle hel- to call our office in anger, or I’ll Jorge Pineda, commander of the Fifth attempt to enforce the well-known no- met) and attempting to break into Brigade, based in the sprawling, red-brick simply buy you candy. Good eating rule on a bus (it was a Snickers another. To try to get into the second town of Cucuta, the staging area for the candy, too. We’re in the UC, bar) caused her, she says, at least car, Holloway put on the helmet, stood offensive. room 214, and I’m there every $50,000 worth of emotional distres. And back from the car, and charged into it, President Alvaro Uribe has vowed to Kenneth Williams, in jail near San head-butting a window, unsuccessful- Monday at 11 and 1, wipe out cocaine production in Colombia, Diego, awaiting trial for raping an ly, twice. The two were arrested short- Wednesday at 1, and Friday at the world’s main supplier. The fumigation ly afterward. 11. campaign has cut coca cultivation in the Email me at country by one-third in only seven months, [email protected]. the United Nations reported last week. Operations between the ground forces and the spray planes are normally coordi- nated, so the low-flying crop dusters don’t Commons Food Line Relief In Sight wander over areas rife with guerrillas. But the Colombian commanders said from FOOD LINES, page 1 in interviews Wednesday that in the new up their lunch with Mexican food from a Oscar Berninger, general manager of offensive - now called Operation can buy a pastry and espresso of your choice selection of custom made tacos and enchi- Wood Dining Services, defends UMBC’s Catatumbo after previously being dubbed to settle for a modest meal. For a quick and ladas at Salsa Rico. Despite two separate food services. “Roughly 3,000 students who Operation Holocaust - standard practices filling meal you can put together an eastern lines during the peak of the lunch hour don’t get out of classes at 1:00 descend on our seem to have been ditched as ground culinary delight at the Mein Bowl in three to be surprised to face a 12 minute in line to food services,” says Berninger. “I don’t troops move more slowly over the steep four minutes. grab a meatball sandwich from Subversions. know of any food operation in the world mountainsides, which are often wreathed If you are willing to give up a little bit If you’re hoping to see these lines pick that can offer quick food, with options, to in clouds. of extra time to settle down for a decent meal up some pace you may be in luck. The such a large population at once.” Berninger Gen. Arturo Suarez, commander of then you might consider eating at a category grand opening of the Rappitz wrap station is is also concerned that scheduling of a “free the elite U.S.-trained Counter-Narcotics 2 restaurant to pick up food in five to eight expected to be a popular attraction that will hour” after 1:00 cause the Commons food Brigade, said the Catatumbo region - minutes. Pete’s Arena gives you a chance to ease existing pressure on other food stations, services are overwhelmed for a short period located in the far northern reaches of the pick the slice of you choice in under five especially Subversions. of time. Andes near the Venezuelan border - was minutes, but, if you’re picky about your Despite this upcoming improvement Wood Dining Services argue that once much tougher to operate in than other pizza toppings you might have to wait a few students will continue to be critical of the class scheduling is more carefully planned areas. more minutes for your pizza to come out of Commons food services until waiting times with consideration for students’ eating “It’s very slow, very difficult, very the oven. After the installation of a new oven are significantly reduced. Junior Robert habits then food services can improve. “If thick with jungle,” he said. to serve quicker and fresher pizza, Pete’s Morris expresses his dissatisfaction with classes released students more gradually Leftist rebels control much of Arena shows a major improvement over last UMBC food services, “I’m not so sure that throughout the lunch period it would lift an Colombia’s cocaine production, and are year’s unreliable pizza service. the monopoly contract the school has is the enormous strain on the food stations and quick on the trigger when they spot one of If you’re looking to tackle a traditional best way to run the schools food operations,” make service quicker,” Berninger explains. the low-flying spray planes. burger and fries, then you can expect a five says Morris. “It really seems like food serv- Wood also uses a system called batch Suarez, whose brigade was trained by or six minute wait at the Original Grille. For ices here could operate a lot more efficient- cooking, where small batches of food are U.S. special forces and equipped with a sampling of Tyson’s chicken you’ll run ly.” prepared throughout the lunch and dinner dozens of U.S. helicopters specifically to into a seven or eight minute wait before Wood Dining Services, the company sessions. These small batches ensure that protect the fumigation planes, said the indulging in chicken fingers at Sunset Strips. contracted to provide campus-wide food students receive fresh food, but each batch pilots were jeopardizing their lives by Category 3 is catered for students who services, claim that the origin of long lines is may serve only 4 or 5 students at once. “Our fumigating unsecured areas. are prepared to devote a ten minute wait for not caused by the food services themselves focus is on freshness” Berninger states. “If they go in areas where we’re not the most popular food in the Commons. In but is a result of poor scheduling by the uni- “With quality food there are prices to pay, present, then they’re running a grave risk,” exchange for ten minutes students can spice versity. including some degree of time delay.” he said. Page 4 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS September 30, 2003 The Blue Light Specials Emergency phones ensure student safety

from BLUE LIGHT, page 1 likened a false call to calling 911 and The phones, which are made by hanging up. GAI-Tronics Corporation, are easily Arrests have been made for phony identified by the blue light atop the ten calls in the past. A few years ago some foot poles that hold the call boxes. Units youths from Arbutus were brought in for are evenly spaced throughout the aca- making a prank call from the stadium demic and residential areas of campus, phone. Yet, even with the hassle of prank in parking garages, around the loop, and calls and malfunctions, people find the in every elevator on campus. The phones phones very useful. allow for immediate contact with the Jim Lins, Records and Evidence UMBC police department by pressing Coordinator for the Campus Police, said, the red “Help” button on their panel. “The phones are like a fist aid kit. It is After pressing the button once, students nice to know they are there, but we are will be directly connected to a police glad to not have to use them.” dispatcher who will then offer assis- Lisa Conn, a junior majoring in tance. In the event there is no verbal Psychology and Social work, frequently communication, an officer will still be walks home from the RAC at night. “I sent to investigate the site of the call. feel a lot safer walking at night with the Response times average between 30 sec- phones there.” onds and two minutes depending upon In the coming years the number of the location of a call. phones will continue to increase. Last Officer Dave Bowers said, “People year alone, 11 new phones were installed who misuse the blue light phones will be around campus and the police department identified and referred to the student is currently in the process of recommend- judicial board, or could face criminal ing sites for new phones. As Dattoli says, charges for making a false report to “As UMBC keeps getting more buildings emergency personnel.” Bowers later we will keep needing more phones.”

Universal Comics: An Untapped Arbutus Resource

RYAN DORRILL ning the shop as a hobby, so if you’re Retriever Weekly Staff Writer looking for a book he won’t over-charge you if it was difficult to find. Ray used to Past Little Abner’s one will notice the work as a commissioned home improve- colorful posters lining Universal Comics’ ment salesman, but then one Christmas he windows that make it stand out from the bought his son one eighth of a partnership other grimy brick buildings. Universal in a store called “Comic Book Place.” In Comics is Arbutus’ very own comic book time they bought out most of the partner- shop, owned and run by the Noon family. ship and created the shop in Arbutus. The store has been open in Arbutus for the During that time they learned a lot about past 25 years, but most UMBC students the comic book business and collected a have probably never heard of it, despite lot of books. His son Mike used to travel the fact that there is enough interest in to comic book conventions with the now comics on campus for there to be a giant businessman Steve Geppi. If you “Comic Book as Literature” class. ask, Ray can tell you the whole story of The store may be small, but it has a how Geppi turned from small business wide selection of books and other col- man into the sole distributor of comics for lectibles. Generally Ray Noon, the man all the major companies in the U.S. who runs the shop, only orders enough to Ray himself doesn’t really have a meet the demand of his customers, but he favorite comic, but his son loves and his son have over 50,000 comics in “Batman” and “Spiderman.” Mike Noon storage. And if he doesn’t have it, Ray actually has every spider Spiderman says “If I can get it, I’ll get it.” He does- comic including his first ever appear- n’t particularly run the shop because of an ance in “Amazing Fantasy” in 1962. interest in comics. He enjoys meeting the When asked what his favorite movie is, customers and finding stuff for people. He people would probably expect Ray to gave one example of three customers who say Batman or Spiderman, but Ray does- all wanted a copy of “Street Fighter” n’t really keep up with movies either. number one. He had never carried the “The last movie I saw was Ben- book, but he managed to track down three Hur,” he said in reflection. He did say ‘first printings’ of it for them. The store that if he could have any super power he carries action figures and other col- would like to be able to know the future. lectibles too; so students looking for a As for the future, one thing is for new hobby (or a chance to catch up on an sure: Universal comics probably won’t old one) might be interested. It’s only a be around forever. Mike, the store’s short walk from Poplar Avenue at the bot- owner, has a job elsewhere. The shop is tom of the circle. open Wednesday through Friday from 11 Ray isn’t really interested in comics a.m. – 6 p.m. and Saturday from 11 a.m. as a business, he’s really just enjoys run- - 3:30 p.m. September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 5 Professor Mark Croatti Tries to Raise the Dead in Old Ellicott City

Lakin Jones / Retriever Weekly Staff Boo! Professor Mark Croatti (l) and store owner Chester Oderlock discuss the ghost of Al, who has reportedly taken up residence in Oderlock’s store.

MALCOLM FURGOL corner she disappeared. Afterwards the cook locked up the Tavern and got the Retriever Weekly Senior Writer owner. The two of them explored the Boo and beware, UMBC has now building, but found nothing. added the study of the supernatural to its That night one of the Howard County long list of distinguished academic Tourism Council ghost tour guides inter- departments. In the nearby idyllic setting viewed the cook and grilled him concern- of Ellicott City Political Science ing the woman’s clothing. Apparently Professor Mark Croatti has authored an everything the cook described, from the all-new ghost tour for the Howard neck down, fit exactly what a woman of County Tourism Council entitled “Ye class during the late 19th century would Haunted History of Old Ellicott City.” have been wearing. The tour guide, Croatti and the Tourism Council Marty, claims this as proof that the cook hope to attract more visitors to the city in saw something, for how else would he an effort to enhance the local economy have been able to describe the woman so and of course obtain the attention of the precisely. ever so fickle UMBC student. When Another incident occurred during the asked about his personal beliefs in the dead of night earlier this year, when two supernatural Croatti remarked, “I just cops were walking up Old Columbia Pike like doing the tours, I’ve never seen a and saw in the far left top story window a ghost, but I’m open to the idea of them woman’s face which slowly faded away being real.” into the corner of the glass. Deborah Ing, the manager of the The most bizarre “activity” however Ellicott City tour programs, best summed occurred on another night when the up the aim of Croatti and the other tour owner was counting money at the cash guides in presenting the ghostly tales, register at the bar downstairs. Before he “We try to make it a fun and educational had started counting the money he had experience for everyone.” locked all the rooms upstairs, including a The opening of the new tour began at private dining room, which had been The Tiber River Tavern, which advertises setup for an event the next day. The din- itself as the newest restaurant in Old ing room has only two doors leading into Ellicott City, a welcoming hearth for it, one approached from the outside, those searching for ghosts on a cold rainy which no one has a key for (you must Monday night and a host to a few ghost lock it or open it from the inside) and sightings itself. another that is approached by the stairs When the building the Tavern occu- and has a deadlock that only the owner Women Earn pies was being renovated a year ago, has a key to open. before its opening, the downstairs wood- So the owner was understandably $5,000 surprised when he heard a large crash en floors were varnished one night only Be an Egg Donor to have footprints appear on them the upstairs. He ran up and opened the door next morning. No one confessed to mak- to the dining room to find one of the For an Infertile Couple ing the footprints and the building was tables completely flipped over and the supposedly locked up after the cleaning chairs knocked back. Most puzzling •Healthy — Mature — Non-smokers crew had left. though was the fact that the cloth and the • Age 20-29 — Average Weight After the Tavern opened a few items on the table were located exactly as •2 week Part-Time Commitment •Confidentiality at All Times employees claimed to feel a slight pres- they were, simply inverted from their sure on their backs as if someone was previous state. tapping them even though no one was in After this incident and after hearing the room at the time. the cop’s story about sighting the face in On one morning when the cook came the window, the owner decided to do into the kitchen to start the day he some research and found out that the din- thought he saw someone in the bar area, a ing room was a bar at one point and that transparent woman with long flowing a woman in the late 19th century had 410-296-5126 Towson, Maryland been raped and murdered on the premis- hair and a long billowy white dress. So he www.familybuild.com pursued the woman, but upon turning a see GHOST, page 7 Page 6 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY ADVERTISEMENT September 30, 2003 September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY NEWS Page 7 University Professor is on the Trail of Al, the Ghost of Ellicott City from GHOST, page 5 ous owner, Al, had spent most of his liv- es. Croatti and some intrigued fellow tour ing days there. Since the ladder incident guides have volunteered to spend a night Al has seemingly reappeared several in the “haunted” dining hall to see if they times and some of Oderlock’s customers can find anything else out about the fem- have commented to him about a ghostly inine poltergeist. presence. Oderlock currently has no As the light rain fell and darkness problem with being haunted by Al’s pres- descended Coatti began the first presen- ence and even referred to him “as a major tation of his tour. Describing the local part of the store.” Oderlock also admitted feline spook, “Casper the Cat” and Susan, that before seeing Al he was “not the kind the local supernatural massage therapist of person who believed in ghosts and was Croatti illustrates a vision of Ellicott City not in it for that kind of stuff.” that is lost to the casual undergraduate Croatti then took the group along observer. The tour is extensive, starting at Main Street where the majority of the the bridge where Frederick Road crosses buildings seem to be troubled by some the Patapsco River and then following kind of otherworldly interference. The Main Street up to the Ellicott City Bean Hollow Coffee Shop was only one Distillery Company. Some of the volun- of several establishments, which has had teers on the tour, such as Elizabeth Hunt, problems with poltergeist activity in the even make their own period costumes to past. The owner of the café was so con- add to the mood. cerned about her bothersome spirit that Croatti seemed to have some ghoul- she had the shop spiritually cleansed, ish piece of knowledge about every since then she has had no troubles with building in Old Ellicott City. Across from ghosts of any sort. the Tiber River Tavern he pointed out the There were many other ghost stories building where the Waning Moon, a new exchanged and elaborated along the tour, age bookstore, used to be. Apparently all awaiting discovery by any UMBC stu- while it was open the owners would find dent wishing to break up the monotony of books tossed to the opposite sides of their weekend. Who knows? Maybe the bookshelves in the morning. next person to update the pages of And at the What’s IN Store Croatti Ellicott City’s ghost lore will be another introduced the group to the owner, member of this constantly growing com- Chester Oderlock who proceeded to share munity. Weight Watchers: Creating yet another paranormal story. Once when Ghost tour tickets are eight dollars he was up on a ladder adjusting some with a one-dollar discount for students lights he turned around to find a man with a valid ID. Reservations are required a Healthier UMBC standing below him. Oderlock then let and can be made by calling (410) 313- out a scream, he had believed he was 1900 or 1-800-288-TRIP. Tours start ROSSI IROBALIEVA gram for the rest of your life. You need to be alone in the room, and the apparition Fridays and Saturdays at 8:30 p.m. In Retriever Weekly Staff Writer able to learn how to incorporate cookies, you slowly disappeared. addition, the backs of the tickets are need to be able to incorporate pizza; we Living in a high-tech world where every- After talking to his neighbors about redeemable for discounts to many of the don’t want you to cook separate meals for thing is designed to be fast and easy just so it the incident he discovered his store used restaurants and stores in the historic you as supposed to your family,” Paris said can meet the demands of society’s busy to be Al’s Body Shop and that the previ- Ellicott City area. ”We wanted it to be something that every lifestyles, it is often hard to stop and think type of [person] could live with no matter about issues such as having an active and what the circumstances.” Every week the Professional Staff Senate healthy life. For the past two years, the nation- members are given 35 flex points that many wide program Weight Watchers has been help- choose to “spend” on their favorite foods, ing UMBC students and faculty members to such as ice cream, chocolate, and cheese- Addresses Campus Issues lose weight, stay in shape and create healthier cake. eating habits that will last a lifetime, but most “[Weight loss] is very difficult. You students are unaware of this service being on- have to learn to make modifications in your from SENATE, page 1 Citro went on to say, “[The PSS] tries to assist in accelerating the goals of the campus at a campus. overall diet forever,” added Paris. “You can’t make every voice heard and provide adequate management level.” The UMBC Weight Watchers chapter is just lose the weight and then go back to what representation. “Everyone has a strong voice,” The Professional Staff Senate formed in open to all UMBC students and faculty. The you used to do or the weight will come back said Hill, who later went on to add, “It’s the 1980s, at a time when both faculty and stu- group, which currently consists of 17 mem- on. We want you to make modifications that encouraging that your voice, no matter how dents had a shared governance, but the staff did bers, meets once a week for ten weeks. During will stay with you.” small you think it is, is heard at a high level.” not. Since its creation, the PSS has received a the meetings members get a chance to monitor The program also promotes physical The Senate consists of 21 senators, who good deal of support, including that of UMBC their progress and discuss their experiences activity as a major part of weight loss. There put a great deal of time and effort into the com- President Freeman Hrabowski III, who has from the past week. is even the opportunity to earn bonus points mittee. “I call it a commitment to selfless serv- helped the PSS to grow and with whom they The goal of the program is “to help people by doing exercise that the members can add ice,” Hill said. In recent years, they have dealt have an “open door policy.” The Senate meets loose weight in a healthy manner,” said Karen to their regular daily points. with issues and ideas such as staff bereavement with President Hrabowski twice a semester to Paris, the instructor at the UMBC Weight Consistency is certainly a big part of the leave, the newly initiated Campus Employee discuss current situations, plans, and concerns. Watchers chapter. What makes this weight loss successful completion of the program. The of the Month program, and the structured staff Citro also gave credit to the faculty for being program successful is that it is easy to incorpo- friendly environment and the support pro- development survey. Additionally, the Senate “very supportive”, and to the administration rate into anyone’s life style. The program is vided not only from the instructor but also worked to make the tuition remission program for their concern for the feelings of the staff. based on a Points system. There is a special from the other group members are very — in which staff members are able to take sev- The Professional Staff Senate is vital to booklet that lists the point values of the most encouraging, keeping everyone in the group eral credit hours within the university school the campus and especially to the staff. As one common foods and drinks. Acertain number of focused and motivated. system — less limiting in terms of the number of the first schools to have a senate, and as one points are allowed for daily consumption and “We are the fattest country in the world. of classes allowed. of the broadest senates in the system, they con- tools such as the Points Finder and the We have more health issues, more health The Senate has a well-rounded mix of tinue to represent and make their voice heard at QuikTrak Organizer make it easy to keep track problems [that are] directly related to obesi- individuals, including both long-term and UMBC and beyond. of the consumed points. ty and this is a trend that has to stop now,” newer staff members, and representatives from “We are considered a pulse of the campus Weight Watchers encourages its partici- Paris concluded. The Weight Watchers most areas, including the Vice President of for the people we represent,” Citro concluded. pants to keep track of the amount of food Program is ready to help those willing to Student Affairs. “Everyone has some form of “We are one of the most dynamic campuses in they eat as opposed to cutting foods com- change and adopt healthier lifestyles. The basis or representation,” Hill explained. the system.” pletely from their diets. “We really believe next meeting will be held on Friday, Oct. 3 “Shared governance is a fantastic tool.” Jim that you need to be able to live with this pro- in room 414 in the Social Science building. Page 8 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY September 30, 2003

Primary election campaigns: Are we there yet? 10

Learn how to beat the line at Late Night. 12

Who’s looking to raise your tuition? 11 Opinion UMBC professors should look more like this. 11 Flu Season is Back with a Vengeance Letters to the Editor It’s that time of year again. Freshmen (and other students) are still under the impression that they can party all they want and be absolute- ly fine concerning the areas of academics and health; mid-terms have Letters to the editor can be sent to [email protected] or delivered to UC 214, c/o Letters to the Editor. not yet rolled around and Halloween is just a month away. What’s a col- Letters must be received by 12 p.m. on Thursday and must be typed or written legibly and include the author’s lege student to do? name and telephone number. Letters to the Editor cannot exceed 400 words. The Retriever’s Advice? Be careful, health-wise, anyway. Make sure you get a lot of sleep and exercise. Eight hours is what’s recom- Smokers Not Welcome Here mended as the necessary amount of sleep each night. Getting fewer than six hours or more than ten will do more harm than good to your system; Smoking is disgusting, revolting, disrespectful, and most importantly unhealthy. The article, “Smoking Needs you’ll feel tired and sluggish either way. to be Eliminated, not Regulated” (9/23/03) made an excellent argument and I for one would be in support of elimi- Don’t procrastinate – it will cause you much more stress when the nating smoking on UMBC property 100%. The only thing I hate more than a smoker who throws their cigarette butt time comes around when all three of those papers are due in the same on the ground is one who blows smoke over their shoulder in a crowd. Trying to enjoy the sun and give ones mind two-day span, which therefore will have further affects on your immune a break while walking to and from classes is most unwanted and regularly interrupted by smokers and their horrible system. Get things done early. Try making a detailed hour-by-hour habits. UMBC should take the steps to eliminate smoking from campus grounds. What argument do smokers have? schedule that shows how long you will work on each task. Be sure to None. include breaks. And finally, don’t drink too much alcohol. Yeah that “power hour” Christopher Stanton was fun, but it won’t do you too much good when you’re seeing it come Sophomore, Emergency Health Service major back up again all day on Friday. Don’t look at every Thursday, Friday and Saturday as a day to party – spend at least one of those nights at home, with your roommates or your significant other, or studying. It Smoking Article Misses the Point will ground you, it will center you, it will keep you sane, and most importantly you will have the ability to concentrate better if you train While reporting on the need to eliminate smoking on campus (“Smoking Needs to be Eliminated, not yourself to realize that the weekend is not all about partying. Quite fre- Regulated,” 9/23/03) Safiya Mojerie omitted relevant facts. The ETS or Environmental Tobacco Smoke studies cited quently it’s about catching up on schoolwork. Which you could have never had anything to do with people smoking outside but had to do with smoking inside. Most of the studies looked avoided if you hadn’t procrastinated. into the incidence of cancer among individuals who have spouses who smoked but did not smoke themselves. The It’s a vicious cycle, really, but if it all ends in ice cream, it’s all good impact of smoking outside is truly an issue that is up in the air and there is not scientific research that I have been – just do your best to ensure that you’re able to taste it and that it’s pri- able to find that clearly shows a correlation between smoking in an open environment and associated risk to others. mary goal isn’t to heal your sore throat. Even at the Anti-Smoking Coalition meetings it is accepted that people smoking outside has no impact on other’s health. The goal stated by some individuals at the meeting was “to increase the number of places to ban smoking.” The health on non-smokers was never brought up. In fact it was stipulated that “second-hand smoke” was that smoke Wizards and Hobbits at UMBC which occurred in a closed environment and that the 3,000 adult non-smokers who died from lung cancer were dying from smoke they were exposed to in a building. If you want to ban something because it is unpalateable to you then “But now, he has a mind of metal and wheels. He no longer cares please admit that that is your goal, don’t hide behind the allegation that is for everyone’s collective health. for growing things.” Thus speaketh the great Treebeard of the white Wizard Saruman, Gary Hudiburgh who no longer walks in the woods among the trees. The tree herder, in Junior, Philosophy major, director of the WMBC News Department, his deep sadness, tells two Hobbits that “nobody cares for the woods member of the campus Libertarian Party. anymore,” which is not entirely true, because—as everyone knows—all Hobbits have a love of things that grow. Looking around the UMBC campus, it would appear that we are a school of Wizards. Despite several days of perfectly inviting weather, the grassy patches and tree-dotted areas are sparsely populated, while The Retriever Weekly staff edi- the Commons is crowded to capacity. Of course, there are a few Hobbits torials reflect the views of the edito- lazing about, reading books, having picnics, napping in the sun. But the rial board; signed columns and vast majority of students trample the grass more often than lie in its E ETRIEVER advertisements represent the opin- growing goodness. H ions of the individual writers and Grass is a scarce commodity on this campus, so you’d expect

T W E E K L Y R advertisers, respectively, and do not patches such as the library steps or the resident fields to be covered with necessarily reflect those of The relaxed, care-free individuals. Instead, the only grass that gets any Editor in Chief ...... R. Eric Thomas Retriever Weekly or the University action is Erickson Field, where people are naturally more concerned Managing Editor ...... Nick Chrest of Maryland Baltimore County. with the game than the scenery. Business/Advertising Manager...... Brett McKenzie Letters to the Editor are printed Perhaps the UMBC campus is just not aesthetically pleasing News Editor ...... Amy Segreti verbatim, although the editors enough for the true nature-lovers. Then, head on over to Patapsco Park Assistant News Editor...... Joseph Howley reserve the right to edit any letter for all the growing things you could hope for. Bike or hike a trail, wade Opinion Editor ...... Amber Sampson deemed lengthy, repetitive, libelous in the river, talk to people, bring a book. Features Editor ...... Kaidye Hansen or otherwise in need of revision. We humans should strive to be more like Hobbits, and less like Assistant Opinion/Features Editor ...... Phil Watkins The editors further reserve the right Wizards. We can care for the things that sustain our lives, or ignore Sports Editor ...... Andrew Chaney not to print any letter for any rea- them to our detriment. Let us mind the growing things before Winter Photography Editor ...... Lakin Jones son. Letters to the Editor must be sets in. Let us remember the grave words of the herder of trees: “Side? Assistant Photography Editor ...... Anita Field typed or written legibly and include I am on nobody’s side. Because nobody is on my side, little orc.” Production Manager ...... James Hamilton Production Assistant...... Wai-loon Chan the author’s name and telephone Production Assistant ...... Brooke Summers number. Letters must be received Production Assistant...... Vasanthi Abraham by 12 p.m. on Thursday and may Production Assistant...... Noel Mueller not exceed 400 words. Copy Editor ...... Patrick Bladen The Retriever Weekly publishes Illustrator ...... Christina Ralls weekly on Tuesdays during the reg- Technology Manager...... Rick Carback ular school year. Editors can be check us out online Assistant Technology Manager ...... Paul Swenson reached at (410) 455-1260 during Circulation Manager...... Adam Driscoll normal business hours or at Webmaster ...... Aaron Stahl University Center 214; 1000 http://trw.umbc.edu Faculty Adviser ...... Christopher Corbett Hilltop Circle; UMBC; Baltimore, Administrative Adviser...... Dr. Patty Perillo MD 21250. The Retriever Weekly is an equal opportunity employer. Check us out online:trw.umbc.edu September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 9

write in, speak out.

“Does anyone have the right to monitor your online activities? If so, who?”

No. Because I’m a militant, I think that whatever you do on freedom-loving United States the internet is personal infor- citizen; and I don’t have to be mation and that no one has the This Week’s reasonable about it. right to trace anyone’s path of Dame Carolyn Black activities. (Except for the Freshman aliens.) Claire Ng I don’t think anyone has the Sophomore right to monitor anyone’s per- “Is the two-party political sonal activities. It’s sort of like I do not think that anyone current monitoring someone’s tele- should monitor your online system beneficial for American democracy?” phone conversations. activities. Monitoring is defi- Christina Gatto nitely an invasion of privacy. Sophomore No one has that right. It is unnecessary to monitor the The government has the right average citizen’s activities. to monitor our online activities Kristina DeBold if, and only if, a law has Sophomore All members of the UMBC community are expressly been broken. This encouraged to respond to the Question of the monitoring should not infringe Week to be published in “The Buzz” section in on free speech, however. next week’s issue. Please submit responses, under Chris Reese Freshman 50 words, to [email protected] by Friday at 10pm.

Point Counterpoint Long Campaign Alienates Voters and Divides Party Long Primary Seasons Reveal the Candidate candidates said things like, “No matter who public realized Kerry had ideals that AMBER SAMPSON gets the nomination, we must win back the NICK CHREST they could identify with, they would White House!” then identify with Kerry, vastly The democratic campaign trail is mov- That is clearly not the mood of the Let’s be honest, the average strengthening his candidacy. Thus, on a ing right along. Candidates are throwing campaign trail. Despite the appearance of American voter does not pour over vol- relatively short term, John Kerry would parties, telecasting speeches, recruiting in “Anybody but Bush 2004” bumper stick- umes of policy and platforms. The aver- be a strong candidate at least in the pri- overdrive—this is crunch time. Only…five ers, candidate campaigns rarely focus on age American voter goes to the polls and mary elections. However, given the long months to go. the general election at all. Instead of going places a vote for the candidate they most season that is playing out, we have Yes, that’s right. Five months. And with the “I can beat Bush” platform, candi- feel comfortable with. That said, it is learned a lot about John Kerry that has that’s just the primary. The real election— dates have jumped through hoops trying to very easy for a candidate, on the short alienated many voters. The primary where the democratic champion goes to please liberal interest groups. They have to term, to fool a huge voting block. It example is his explanation on why he battle with the Enemy—isn’t for over a do this to get the nomination, but it will takes the requisite spotlight of a long voted for the resolution to allow President year. So, the official campaign trail, minus only serve to alienate the moderates—the primary season to show the strengths, Bush to go to war in Iraq. Essentially, the input of one Wesley Clark, will last a central target population for beating Bush. and flaws, of each candidate. Kerry is arguing that his vote for the war whopping 19 months (from the first full The longer the candidates campaign, the Its like this: John Q. Candidate had a special meaning in that he meant it debate to general election). more people they have the opportunity to takes a massive leap off of the diving was ok to threaten force but not Surely, this seems good for the candi- alienate; that’s probably why Clark’s rat- board and impresses America with his really...you get the idea. dates: prolonged exposure, time to attract a ings topped all other candidates in a Gallup splash. The media, however, if given In any case, the point is that the supporter base, and, of course, time to take poll just days after his entry into the race. time, sticks around for a little while and American voter can be a very lazy crea- donations on their websites. But how will Of course, this only applies to voters looks at the oil Mr. Candidate left in the ture. In a short season, the voter can be this affect the Democratic Party, or the gen- who are still paying attention; the other pool. John Kerry is a good example. wowed by a big splash. In a long season, eral election? down-point about a long campaign is that When this primary season got started, a we see the splash then get to see the oil Recall the May debates (if you can). If some people are sick of it already—with lot of Americans felt like they could left behind. you didn’t know any better, you’d think five months to go. identify with Kerry’s ideals. It is, how- that each one of the candidates expected ever, important to remember that the some anomalous sense of unity to fall on Amber Sampson is the Opinion editor for majority of Americans could not identi- Nick Chrest is the Managing Editor for the Democratic Party in the throngs of war The Retriever Weekly. She can be reached for fy Kerry’s name. It takes only a small The Retriever Weekly. She can be reached with the current administration. Several comment at [email protected]. leap to assume that once the American for comment at [email protected]. Page 10 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION September 30, 2003 Young People: You ARE Registered to Vote, Right? selves and our families, the right to choose, the organizations on campus. If you don’t want to ter if you plan to vote in that election. The actu- KYRA N. WILSON right to a job when we graduate; these issues wait that long, go online; Maryland has a won- al general election will not be held until are up for grabs every four years, but you can’t derful voter registration website at November 2004. Dean, Kerry, Lieberman, Braun, let the big boys know where you stand unless Maryland.gov. Even UMBC’s website has a Don’t forget—there are other elections Sharpton, Clark…Who else? LaWho? you vote. So I ask you: link to help with voter regis- going on as well! Do you know who your rep- Welcome to the political season, everybody, you ARE registered to tration. You can get to it via resentative in Congress is? Can you name and if you haven’t already noticed, this one is vote aren’t you? the “Resources for Students” Maryland’s representatives in the Senate? You going to be a circus. The politically savvy have The politically webpage. If you are from out do not need to be a Political Science major to been watching this race for months, playing savvy will tell you that of state, don’t worry—a lot of know and understand who is representing you the numbers, writing the commentary, talking the Supreme Court states offer the same services in this nation. If you want more funding for the trash, starting the gimmicks, and in the end, chose the president in for registration online. And education, if you want more laws to protect the we the citizenry will be the ones to make the 2000, not the people. do not forget to apply for an Bay, if you want to ban cell phones from decision as to the rise or fall of the candidates. But think about it— absentee ballot. Can’t get to restaurants, then you may want to know what In the 2000 election, according to the US they might not have your voting place on the day your representative stands for. Census Bureau, only 36.1 percent of the 18-24 had the chance to do of elections? No problem! Politics does not have to be a remote sub- age group (the college student range) actually that if more than 36.1 You can get an absentee bal- ject, it is as personal as the air you breathe, the voted. This age group only accounts for 9.6 percent of our age group had gotten out there lot even if you are within the state but cannot price of your CDs, the deployment of someone percent of a population of over 281 million. and made their voices heard. Some freshmen get to your voting location. It isn’t hard to reg- you know, how much gas you put in your tank, Being 1 in a little over 27 million may sound and sophomores were not old enough to vote ister and vote. You make a statement every and how much money you are paying for like nothing, but actually you have a lot of in 2000, but in this election cycle we don’t time you check your choice. tuition. It affects the food that you eat on cam- power in your vote. As young voters, we have have much of an excuse. If we truly care about So for all of you who think that Bush stole pus, how much money your parking ticket is, a lot of power because we are new to the game, ourselves and our issues, we young voters will the White House, or that the War in Iraq was and what you have the right to say in an open we don’t have the same loyalties of genera- register and vote in this upcoming election. the right thing to do, or that LaRouche is the environment. Respect the vote. If you don’t, tions past, and we follow our moral values to The importance of voting in the country, espe- savior of our nation, or that Sharpton is truly we may have another Supreme Court ruling on pick a party that is right for us. This can be used cially in an age where our rights are slowly the voice of the people, don’t you think that our hands. to our advantage; however, more of us have to being taken away from us, could not be any your candidate deserves your support and get out and vote. higher. vote? The presidential primary election (the Think of all of the issues that affect you Registering to vote is easy, especially on a election that chooses the democratic challenger Kyra N. Wilson is a guest writer for The every day: the price of education, the price of college campus. Keep an eye out for various to the president) will be held in March 2004. Retriever Weekly. She can be reached for com- gas, the First Amendment, the safety of our- events sponsored by the political student You have between now and February to regis- ment at [email protected].

Quotes from the Quad What is your prefered form of birth control? photos by Anita Field

Jimmy Dipietro, 21 Senior, Sociology Ryan Flynn, 21 “Cellophane.” Lara Santi, 19 Freshman, Pre-Med Sophomore, Economics “Rabbit skins and rubber “Not dating guys without bands.” college degrees.”

St. Johnn Blondell, 25 Junior, Photo/Secondary Ed Malcolm Smith, 28 “Oral Sex.” Senior, Graphic Design “When I was in the Army they issued us these big, ugly bifocals and we called them “Birth Control Glasses” because anyone wearing them wouldn’t get laid.” September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 11 Hug’s Plan to Raise Tuition Teaching 101: How Profs can Would Be Double Trouble Make an Impact on Students

readily available. “Students who are load is based in both sexuality and statis- MARY KATE BUKOWSKI qualified to attend will have [financial] MATT WATKIS tics, although she’ll admit that the first is help,” says Hug. much more interesting than the second. As College tuition is too low. Yet the growing problem area is that an author of dozens of research articles, Or at least it is as far as Richard E. of middle class families. The general Many students have reason to believe her colleagues recognize her devotion to Hug is concerned. Hug, March 2003 belief held by many, including Shockley, that their college experiences are not easy. their work. appointee of Governor Robert L. is that “if you are poor, monies are avail- However, there’s a good chance that our This devotion is only one of the many Ehrlich Jr. to the Board of Regents, able for you to attend college…con- professors wouldn’t mind trading places ways in which competent professors make believes that Maryland tuition, already versely, if you are wealthy, your parents with us on any average day. their presence known. You might see your pumped up by the previous $120 million can afford to send you to both private For example, when our class periods favorite teacher named on a flyer advertis- in budget cuts, is not nearly high and public schools, so the tuition ques- are finished, we often have time to meet ing a lecture, in the sponsor role for a cam- enough. tion is not an issue.” friends for lunch or dinner, or browse pus club, or serving as a faculty mentor for “In my view,” he says, according to Shockley expressed concerns about through the Bookstore. Our teachers realize resident students. (Dr. Lottes is a faculty a sunspot.net article by C. Fraser Smith, the intentions of public universities to that their work just shifts to a different mentor for the Hillside apartments.) He or “tuition is too low for the value you get. support the public. “With each large place after class. When one considers the she may interrupt the routine by announc- We’re going to increase tuition. The tuition increase,” he says, “higher educa- countless demands from unsatisfied par- ing a field trip far, far away. question is how tion is shifting ents, unmotivated students, and unsympa- Unfortunately, some professors may much.” further and fur- thetic bureaucrats, the burden of the typical not care enough to break up the monotony In my ther away from college professor’s career should be appar- that seems familiar in many subjects, but view, that’s its historical sta- ent to anyone. occasionally one can find a way to liven crazy talk. tus as a public On the other hand, some UMBC pro- up the day. (Dr. Lottes once mentioned a Think paying good.” fessors give off the impression that those boring statistics class that became much $7,388 per year Is all this demands don’t hold them back quite so more engaging after she told the students for in-state really true? Is the much. Where other teachers may look at about one of her sexuality surveys.) tuition and fees great state of the craft as merely the price of a salary, the The sheer size of a typical lecture sec- to UMBC or Maryland willing more dedicated ones are not afraid to put all tion nearly ensures that most students $14,240 for to put itself in of their efforts into doing this job well. won’t get the chance to say much during out-of-state is such an awkward Even if that salary feels a bit too modest (as the course of a semester; it is no wonder steep? Try dou- position as to many of them will tell you), some teachers that the much smaller size of discussion bling it. demand more do this “for love of the game”. sections or seminars makes for better S m i t h ’ s money from col- They are the ones who will stay after interaction and easier communication. It article reports lege students? class when a question is being asked for the seems as if the subjects that are usually that according Though schools third time. If a fellow teacher is looking for taught as lectures need the better interac- to Hug, dou- like UMBC help with a project, they will offer whatev- tion even more than their smaller counter- bling college undoubtedly offer er help that they can. Parents don’t mind parts, but in some cases, the class size is tuition would high quality high- talking with them because the teachers are not so problematic. result in an er education, they patient enough to listen, but brave enough After one or two years here, the rants extra $600 mil- are also decent to speak freely (even if the news isn’t and raves focused about various teachers lion a year for cost-wise. Has it good). Their colleagues may look at them get passed down to incoming freshmen schools. He been forgotten and wonder why the job hasn’t crushed just as quickly as room keys. I have to pins the current average tuition at that UMBC is a Newsweek “Hot” their spirits yet. All of these noteworthy wonder whether or not most UMBC pro- $4,400, which would jump to $8,800 if School, one of 12 in 2002-2003 that habits build up positive reputations for fessors listen out for these stories. (I his proposal goes through. Additionally, “may well be the best bargains—those each of the competent teachers here and remember one in particular who intro- some campuses, specifically College offering excellent academics at more elsewhere. duced himself on the first day of class by Park, could rise even higher. affordable prices,” according to Dr. Ilsa Lottes is the sort of professor listing some of the negative reviews that D. Philip Shockley, Student Regent Kaplan/Newsweek’s criteria? who’s often seen in UMBC promotional students gave him; he did not seem partic- as of July 2003 and UMBC senior, says Aside from financial aid, which of brochures, and she’s certainly earned the ularly concerned by these comments: one that while the issue with the possible course will be in lucrative supply in acclaim. Her enthusiastic style of teaching student praised him for the same thing that tuition increase prompts various opin- attempts to provide for an overwhelming has been a fixture in the sociology depart- put him under fire.) ions, “I do believe that [Hug] is right in increase of those in need of assistance to ment since 1987; the field fits her so well Luckily for us, there are some teach- that it is one of the few ways that we fund education, college payments are that she has created a few courses in recent ers who can list all the testimonials they can see substantial new revenues quick- made from two other primary sources: years. A Ph.D from the University of get instead. ly.” parents/guardians and students them- Pennsylvania is balanced out by her Ease for law makers stems from low selves. The former, as mostly middle- Master’s degree in statistics; she has put Matt Watkis is a staff writer for The student political turnout. “Unfortunately, aged (intended as a generalization and both to good use in the field of research on Retriever Weekly. He can be reached for students are not currently active and not to offend) people, operate in a voting human sexuality. On campus, her class comment at [email protected]. vocal in their opposition to these increas- bracket with pretty good voter turnout, es,” says Shockley. “College age stu- relatively speaking. If policy makers are dents do not vote at high rates…and the concerned about decisions affecting their effects from [policy makers supporting political careers, those few Maryland other programs over higher education] adults that happen to have children in the are not nearly as severe to their political educational system may contain some future.” slight animosity. Chip DiPaula Jr., Ehrlich’s budget And though the latter group, being secretary, announced last week an antic- composed of students, is not quite as ipated shortfall of almost $800 million large, those who manage their own uni- for FY05 in Maryland, according The versity bills are able to just support Washington Post. DiPaula further themselves as it is. Double the educa- included that the governor intends to tional costs would mean double the jobs maintain his promise to not raise needed or loans taken to afford learning. income or sales taxes, and though law- As a result, individuals who have no makers fear funding for state programs choice but to fend for themselves will will be significantly reduced, DiPaula fall deeper and deeper into debt, not be has been instructed to avoid further cuts able to fully attend classes for time need- to higher education. ed to work off expenses, or not be able to But the two plans—to raise neither return to their current college at all. taxes nor college costs—are causing commotion. Smith reports that Hug has Mary Kate Bukowski is the assistant not yet discussed his plans with the gov- opinion editor for The Retriever ernor, but he believes he will be sup- Weekly. She can be reached for com- ported by Ehrlich if financial aid is ment at [email protected]. Page 12 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION September 30, 2003 Facism and Late Night Lines: Why I Love Veggie Pizza

always happen right as I got to the front of finer points of JOHN ELLIS the line—the Late Night crew would stop why the only pulling pizzas out of the oven, leaving me good squash is a Lines are Fascist. Something about to wait another eternity of despair, or dead squash, I their relentless dedication to order and maybe they’d pull out three specialty piz- decided to give in the idea that “he/she who is here first is zas in a row. and just grab the the most deserving” always struck me as A great thing about the Late Night veggie pizza. authoritarian. Some would claim the “I pizza has to be the specialty pizzas. No, “Fine man, what- was here first and waiting the longest, so that’s a lie; actually the specialty pizzas ever gets me out I should get the pizza.” But ladies and are often monstrosities. I think I speak for of here quick.” gentlemen, I have a dream. My dream is everyone man, woman and child on earth I walked up that one day, children will be judged by when I say “I like my pizza like I like my to where the the content of their heart, not the punctu- women, namely not covered in pizza was sitting, ality of their arrival. Cheeseburger and Onion.” Seriously, who defying all the I think about these things while I sit eats this stuff? There’s like ten piled up laws that lines in lines, marching like a good little storm when I walk in. impose on us. I trooper to wherever it is the line has com- Then came the night that changed reached for the manded me to go. everything. I was particularly desperate to pizza, expecting Yuki Tseng / The Retriever Weekly Staff So, naturally, I am dedicated to fight- get in and out fast, as I had a paper to someone to ly missing. ing lines wherever they may be here at write. As usual, around 15 people sat snatch the pizza before me and tell me to So there you have it fellow students. UMBC. Because of this, I generally ahead of me in the despotic line. My go to the end of the line. But no one cared. If you too are not a fascist, then you can dreaded going to Late Night. When my roommate Grant, however, was there with I asked the crowd “Anybody want this?” help end the tyranny of lines by eating stomach began to growl around 11pm, I a quick solution. “Just get the veggie No response. Well, I would have to eat veggie pizza. Just walk in to Late Night knew just what was waiting for me at the pizza John.” this “pizza,” but at least I got out of Late and take it. Trust me, no one will mind. dining hall: I would enter and try to grab “Veggie pizza?” I mumbled, but Night without standing still in a line. Suckers! a pizza, only to thwarted by the line. already a distinctively unappealing taste I got back to my room, and opened I began to try and figure out ways to was spreading through my mouth. “Dude the pizza box so I could behold this avoid Late Night altogether, and just have you seen them? They’ve got squash “food” I would have to somehow jam John Ellis, a staff writer for The snack at the room. It didn’t last. The situ- on them!” down my throat. (Was the squash still Retriever Weekly, is dedicated to fight- ation was getting worse. I needed a way to “What’s wrong with squash?” Grant moving?) Finally, I took a bite. “Hey, this ing line fascism everywhere, and can be get my pizza, and get it fast. As I sat in asked. ain’t half-bad!” The vegetables gave the reached at [email protected]. line every night, some tragedy would Since I didn’t have time to debate the pizza this refreshing crunch that is usual- The Honors Living Exchange: Cooperation, Community, and Leaky Windows clean, or spring fresh…it’s some mystery ELLIOT GERLACH smell that changes from day to day and room to room. It does keep everyone guessing, One of the greatest things about the though. UMBC campus is its living-learning commu- It’s not that honors students deserve a nities. People who share similar goals can “better” dorm more or less than anyone else, it come together to live, work and play. For cer- just seems that the honors community has tain, the opportunities provided by these been singled out from the rest of the living- micro-societies are priceless. These places learning communities to be in the not-brand- give students an environment suited to their new-with-a-living-room-and-huge-bathrooms lifestyle, be it in performing arts, women’s dorm. studies, social services, multicultural studies, Being cut off from other living learning humanities, healthcare, or honors studies. communities has made the honors floor feel a Each of these wonderful communities little left out. And a little alienation is under- gets its own floor in either of the posh, new standable when people from other floors in the dormitories, Harbor or Erickson Halls. All dorm don’t identify with the sense of kinship except one that is: The Honors Living- that’s felt here on 1st South Sus. Learning Community, situated on the first Of course there is that bond we honors floor south of Susquehanna Hall, the oldest students do get from living in Susquehanna residence hall on campus. that wouldn’t be possible in Harbor or Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful Erickson. In those dorms you have to swipe a for the opportunity to have this community. I keycard to get in, your access is severely limit- understand a lot of work went into creating ed, and doors are almost always closed. In this new community and I thank everyone Susquehanna you can go anywhere in the who lobbied for us. Even this early in the year dorm and as a result there are many inter-floor it has made a significant impact on my life. relationships. So perhaps Susquehanna isn’t all Living with people of diverse backgrounds, bad. yet having shared ideology makes being so far “The people here make the floor,” Black from home bearable. I wouldn’t have my floor went on to say, “Everyone’s door is always be any different open.” And when you walk through some- Well, except for the part about it being in one’s door here you’re always welcome. You Susquehanna. The bulging carpeting, rusted- could say its almost like Cheers: everybody out bathrooms, and less than stellar paint job knows your name. just don’t scream “Honors Floor” to me. And Still, as I look out my tiny, leaky window it came as quite a surprise during hurricane (past the $200 fine sticker) at my wonderful Isabel, to find out the windows are as leaky as view of the dining hall, I can’t help but won- spaghetti strainers. der what it would be like if the Honors Living- Most people on the floor agree with the Learning Community could instead look out window situation. “The worst part of living watertight windows and see a beautiful court- here [Susquehanna] is the windows. yard—perhaps even with its very own grill. Everything near the windows gets wet, plus you can’t even open them,” said Carolyn Black, 18. She went on to say, “plus there’s Elliot Gerlach is the assistant business that smell everywhere.” manager for The Retriever Weekly. He can be Yes there is that smell. It’s not orange reached for comment at [email protected] September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY OPINION Page 13 Lyndon LaRouche: High CHRISTOPHER CORBETT Drama In the Political Arena

ed loans with false assurances and showed WILL READ FROM WILLIAM ENGRAM “reckless disregard of the facts” by failing to mention the insolvency of his organiza- “Jazz was foisted on black Americans tion. by the same oligarchy which had run the In vintage spoiled-brat style, LaRouche U.S. slave trade, with the help of the classi- called the whole thing a frame up and fur- Orphans Preferred: cally trained but immoral George Gershwin ther asserted that the government took those and the Paris-New York circuit of drug-tak- people’s money, not him. I guess he’d have The Twisted Truth and Lasting ing avant-garde artists.” trouble explaining the $4.2 million in real Wow! I didn’t know that. I’d always estate and thousands of dollars in improve- Legend of the Pony Express thought that Jazz was the most American of ments to his personal residence then. He art forms, molded by the volatility also felt that the entire affair was a plot and sensuality of the early 20th (thursday) century African-American experi- OCTOBER 2 ence. Try this one: “Judaism is the religion of a caste of subjects of Barnes & Noble Booksellers in Pikesville, Christianity, entirely molded by (1819 Reisterstown Road) in ingenious rabbis to fit into the ide- Woodholme Center at 7 p.m. ological and secular life of (This is the former Bibelot.) Christianity. In short, a self sus- For information: 410.415.5758 taining Judaism never existed and never could exist. As for Jewish culture otherwise, it is merely the residue left to the Jewish home OCTOBER 15 (wednesday) after everything saleable has been marketed to the Goyim.” Now Borders Books at Towson Commons, that one borders on the whimsical, http://www.google.com 415 York Road at 7 p.m. because I’m quite sure that Jesus Long-Time Running: La Rouche is at it again. For information: 410.291.0791 Christ was Jewish. Maybe that means that he invented Judaism Maybe not. More likely, I’ve just given designed to get him into prison for the pur- you some exposure to the diseased and reac- pose of killing him. Now see kids, get rich, tionary worldview of one Lyndon because when regular people say the gov- www.orphanspreferred.com LaRouche, taken from the “LaRouche ernment is out to get them, they get put in a Sampler,” published by the Chicago sanitarium. Lawyer. You’ve seen his minions on cam- Speaking of rich, what did LaRouche pus, the forceful college dropouts trying to do to get his money? He’s obviously not hand out toilet paper in the UC. Chances politically successful. By trade, LaRouche are, they’ve never heard of quotes like these is an economist. However, the economy is a from their illustrious leader, or that he advo- fickle lover, and it’s hard to amass much of cated a quarantine of AIDS patients, called a fortune playing economic fluctuations. Queen Elizabeth II a drug dealer, and thinks After LaRouche took on a more political Henry Kissinger is a Soviet agent. Or stance, he found that the same researching maybe they do—kids today think the skills he had developed in economics would strangest things! stand him in good stead in politics. Regardless of what they think, it’s Specifically, LaRouche started investigating important that people not take riff-raff like his own followers with the rationale that this seriously, just because he might say knowledge of their psychological profiles some agreeable things now and then (if would allow him to better manipulate them. everyone was jumping off the bridge…?). Later, he found that those same dastardly tac- The 2004 Presidential election will mark the tics could give him power of financial and 8th attempt of the LaRouchies (as they are political constructs as well. Essentially, popularly called) to seize power. LaRouche LaRouche is a professional gossip, utilizing a says he’s willing to keep running for the rest vast international intelligence network to sell of his life, which is good, considering how people’s secrets. Real honorable trade huh? successful he’s been so far. Now I know that any of you who’ve Any of LaRouche’s supporters will be been talking with a LaRouchie know how happy to inform you of his feud with the hard it is to pin down their agenda, so I’m Democratic Party. Basically, LaRouche going to close this piece with a brief synop- claims to be a democrat and the party dis- sis, which you can in turn put to them for agrees. Now, it’s not like they just don’t like your own entertainment. According to him (although they don’t); LaRouche has a LaRouche, the world is controlled by a secret somewhat checkered past from the perspec- elite based in Great Britain. This oligarchic tive of the rather staid Democratic National consortium is comprised largely of Jewish Convention and all its adherents. At the top banking families, like the Rothschilds. These of the list (maybe up with some more of families exert their power through an inter- those quotes) is somewhat embarrassing national network including the Ku Klux fact that LaRouche isn’t even registered to Klan, the Mafia, and the Freemasons. vote, which makes him ineligible to be a Believe me, the extended version is involved democratic candidate. Any upstanding and bizarre, but all you really need to know LaRouchie will promptly harangue on the is that its ridiculous. unarguable fact that the rules should bend Fiction is good. It makes people feel for LaRouche! He’s a great man after all. good and it exercises their creativity. Why isn’t he registered to vote? Now However, people who believe their fiction that answer’s really embarrassing. In 1988 are not good. They lose touch with reality the federal government convicted and get themselves in trouble. The LaRouche of conspiracy and mail fraud. LaRouchies are definitely the latter. Let’s be Not surprisingly, the people’s complaint had the former and laugh at them together. to do with LaRouche’s chronically tenuous connection to the truth. In addition to hiding William Engram is a staff writer for his income from the government for several The Retriever Weekly. He can be reached years, LaRouche and his supporters solicit- for comment at [email protected]. Page 14 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY September 30, 2003

British Sea Power Music Sails In 16 Surviving Austraia with Brandon 17 Lost In Translation Makes Good 18 Features Badu is Back! 15 Class Back in Session in School of Rock

STEVE WILEY pletely formulaic fish-out-of- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer water, little-guy-against-the-odds kind of movie. Starring the inim- His name: Dewey Finn. itable Jack Black (Shallow Hal, Occupation: currently unem- High Fidelity), whose abilities as a ployed. Life’s goal: to become a musician are already well known rock and roll superstar. Major (in real life he fronts the two-piece obstacle to accomplishing this band Tenacious D) here made goal: his band (see “Life’s goal”) good use of. His slightly out-of- has fired him in favor of another control shtick never wears thin, guitarist (see “Occupation”). fortunately, this movie being writ- Living status: indefinite, since the ten (by Mike White, who plays rent is way past due and his room- Dewey’s roommate) as a star vehi- mate, a substitute teacher, is cle, with just enough wiggle room becoming increasing impatient. for spontaneous improvisation. Now what is a slacker/wannabe Dewey finds himself sur- rocker supposed to do? rounded by well-behaved, uni- Opportunity knocks, in the form form-wearing overachievers of a ringing telephone; on the (clearly not his natural environ- other line is a secretary from a ment). All the while that he’s well-paying prep school in need of teaching, he continues his search Courtesy of supermack.com a sub. Just how hard could it be for to find another band to play with. Rock the Clock: Supermack made the most of their 15 minutes on UMBC’s campus. this very modestly-educated twen- Then one day it hits him like a ty-something to teach a bunch of loud guitar riff to the eardrums, fourth-graders? observing band class: these kids Late Arrival Sadly Cuts Short That’s the set-up for School of can actually play! So, through var- Rock (★★★ out of four), a highly- Good “Supermack” Funk amusing comedy that is a com- see ROCK, page 16

back and expected a good show. Obviously, there’s quality to be PHILIP WATKINS I got one, albeit a quick one. had in these slightly goofy, Retriever Weekly Editorial Writer Supermack, comprised of extremely motivated musicians. lead singer J. Carter, guitarist The band, which formed Thanks to the nefarious I- and vocals Cmo, bassist and right here in the Washington- 95 corridor traffic, Freebie vocals MadMike, drummer Baltimore sprawl, has been Friday had less live music and Adrian, and Motz, keyboard together since 1999, and more frantic scrambling to get and DJ, has one of those hard- released “Shafted”, their first set up in double-time than core sounds that is slowly being album, in 2000. Since that usual. Program director weeded out of mainstream debut, they have signed with Stephanie Forbes said, “We music. Their heavy funk is Dragonfly Records, whose star- always ask our bands to come punctuated by amusing lyrics studded clientele of groups at a specific time. and a lot of pure talent. After include Dave Matthews Band. Unfortunately, we can’t account being on the scene for 4 years, All signs point to greatness, for unexpected traffic.” and becoming finalists in the with their current skyrocketing However, when Supermack “Rolling Rock Road to Town popularity. Courtesy of Paramount Pictures came bounding up the Terrace Fair” contest, only one of 18 School of Rock: Jack Black takes substitute teaching to a star- steps in full regalia, I leaned bands in the nation to do so. see SUPERMACK, page 17 struck new level in his hilarious new comedy. More Than Lust Fun and Games for Playboy’s 50th

CHRIS DOCKERY things, like Marilyn Monroe and tiple publications a month to bring Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Bettie Page. It was in 1953 when their viewers everything they Hugh Hefner decided to create a desire. For us that means a special That’s right ladies and gentle- magazine that would not only be college edition that has featured men Playboy Magazine is turning entertaining, but “educational” some of our local Universities, 50 - dude, that’s like older than my also. which leads me to my point. mom - and what better way to cel- Needless to say that the audi- In order to make it to the man- ebrate then to bring it back to the ence was there and the demand sion: first one must be a college college campus’ which made the was high. Many publications have student, and second be at least 18 publication so very popular. since followed in the Playboy foot- years of age. Still interested? Here Playboy Magazine is inviting step, however few can hold up to is what you do; you must create an any and all college students to the standards and class of this artistic tribute encompassing the “sing, write, or rap” their way into industry giant. It is hard for one to past 50 years of the Playboy saga. the Playboy mansion. That’s right, go an entire day without seeing an So crack out your old subscrip- a trip for two to the Playboy man- advertisement or a piece of para- tions for a refresher course. Courtesy of Playboy sion in Los Angeles, California. phernalia relating to Playboy. For the artistic tribute you can Is That Your Head or Are You Just Happy to See Me?: In Playboy’s 50 years, it has Today, Playboy is not only Pamela Anderson and Dan Ackroyd titilate on a classic cover. brought the public many great producing one magazine, but mul- see PLAYBOY, page 19 September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 15 Erykah Badu Deserts The Rock: A New “Ah-nold” Mainstream Neo-Soul with In Action Flick, The Rundown

JOHN ELLIS whatever pile of garbage Vin Diesel has “Worldwide Underground” Retriever Weekly Staff Writer stared in lately, you just see a bunch of people looking hard and with “issues.” KENNETH MALLORY honesty and intent to pay homage to older The action movie genre is in desper- The fact that both movies have no plot to Retriever Weekly Staff Writer artists. ate need of a hero. The departure of or speak of makes the Diesel movie seem Among the aforementioned neo-soul beloved “Ahnald” to become King of pretentious, and the Rock movie easy Perhaps the imagery is familiar: artists, Erykah Badu could arguably hold Nebraska or something like that has left a going. cloth headwraps, shiny, metallic ankhs the title of the “Queen of Neo-Soul”. Her hole in all our hearts the size of a mag- This movie is not overly comedic or and silver jewelry, earthy beads, hazy 1997 debut Baduizm garnered huge num exit wound. Well ladies and gentle- dramatic, and the fact that the two aspects swirling clouds of incense smoke, the album sales as well as Grammy awards. men, the Terminator has declared his blend creates an atmosphere of dynamic black velvety sheen of dread-locked and Erykah Badu’s subsequent releases, replacement, and his name is The Rock! fun atoms, while other action flicks are natural hair. Or, the music may also be Erykah Badu Live and Mama’s Gun have To fill such monumental boots is no destroyed in each other’s gravity. recognizable- its special organic sound; also had considerable success as have her small task, but The Rock has taken the Well, from eating hallucinogenic heavy grooves, live instrumen- first few steps in the right direction with fruit, to getting humped by monkeys, to tation, emotive vocals, and eso- his new flick “The Rundown.” The film getting humped by monkeys while on teric lyrics. opens as Brock (Rock) enters a party to hallucinogenic fruit, this movie has it all. Maybe you know some of kick ass and take names. As he walks in, It even has Christopher Walken yelling at the artists- Jill Scott, Alicia Arnold himself walks by and stops in Brazilians talking about the tooth fairy. Keys, Musiq, the Roots, front of him. With a knowing wink, he The movie does have some serious Floetry, India Arie, or Angie says, “Have fun.” Oh the Rock has fun all flaws though. As mentioned previously, Stone. There is a good chance right, if by fun you mean awesome the plot is hackneyed and makes no sense that you can hum the melodies adventures! at some points. For example, Brock has to songs like “Fallin’”, “Say The plot is about as original as a an aversion to guns the whole movie that Yes”, or “Video”. But undoubt- Communist Rock Band. Brock is an is never explained. When around guns, edly, you have turned on TV to enforcer for certain people, but wants to “Bad things happen” Brock says. Thanks see the ubiquitous commercials get out of his current line of work (The for the explanation there, Brock. His showcasing a variety of these ol’ “I gots to get out the game” syn- explanation of his origin is equally great. artists pledging to “Keep it drome). His boss tells Real” by drinking Coca-Cola. him he can walk away if If you have indeed wit- he’ll only do one more nessed this unique subculture, job for him: Hunt down heard its equally distinctive his son and bring him music, watched those back from South omnipresent Coke advertise- Courtesy of amazon.com America. ments and still remained clue- A Strong Woman: Erykah Badu makes her own Brock reluctantly less as to what to label the sound with an album of funky tunes. accepts and is off to genre, it is dubbed neo-soul. Brazil to find Travis Presently, neo-soul music represents singles such as “Tyrone”, “Bag Lady”, (Sean William Scott), but a culture of mammoth proportions that is and “Love of My Life (An Ode to Hip- soon finds a much more shamelessly exploited by a plethora of Hop)”. Despite their commercial success, complicated situation record companies as well as corporate these singles, like the material on her pre- involving a local tyrant monsters such as Coke. Yet, neo-soul has vious albums highlight Erykah’s old- (Christopher Walken) not always been the commercial giant soul, and demonstrate rich textural musi- and a group of freedom Courtesy of therundown.com that it has since evolved into. Its develop- cal accompaniment, but her lyrics on fighters (Rosario Hanging Out: Seann William Scott (l) and The Rock ment has its roots in the success of semi- these releases, (like most albums by Neo- Dawson). Brock engage in lots of monkey business in new film. nal artists. Soul artists) feel too self-righteous and becomes caught up in the In the mid and late nineties, artists oracular. struggle with predictable, hilarious, and “When you push hard, one thing leads to such as D’Angelo, Maxwell, Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu remedies these prob- HOT results. another” Brock says. and Erykah Badu were essential in bring- lems on her new EP Worldwide So the plot is nothing revolutionary, But to be honest the plot is lame and ing neo-soul to the masses. They devel- Underground, by reducing the righteous but its execution is primarily what hackneyed but you really don’t notice. oped a penchant for creating music that lyrical content of her songs and making counts. The fighting scenes are basically You just kind of coast through and enjoy evoked the same ambience and pathos of music the sole centerpiece of her tracks. martial arts free, and really stand from the action, laugh at The Rocks’ great old soul recordings by famed R&B/ soul The resulting virtuosity of the musicians the modern action crowd. One involving screen presence, and stand the fact that record labels such as Chess, Stax, who play on the record and Erykah (a The Rock and the rebels is amazing in Christopher Walken was given such a Motown, and Philadelphia International, music arranger on most of the tracks) is fact. The comedy also blends well with horribly written character. You have fun, and legendary artists such as Smokey admirable. the action, instead of being awkward as it but you don’t have too much fun. Kind of Robinson, Donny Hathaway, Stevie Worldwide Underground’s lead off was in the Scorpion King. like lighting yourself on fire but not Wonder, Betty Wright and Shuggie Otis. single “Danger” is clear evidence of Probably the greatest accomplish- dying, The Rundown will occupy your As a result, neo- soul artists are heralded ment of The Rundown is that it in fact time and brighten up your day, but won’t for their refreshing musicality, lyrical see ERYKAH BADU, page 17 doesn’t take itself seriously. Watching change you future.

One South by Eric Mills Page 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 30, 2003 School of Rock Rocks Audiences Scopin’ Out the Future from ROCK, page 14 of laughs and tons of heart. ious fibs, he manages to get the children to The author participated in an interview by the Retriever Weekly Staff begin a new class project: “Rock Band,” session with Jack Black, excerpted below: including everything from writing songs, Q:Dewey Finn is a role so well suited maintaining security (i.e., keeping the prin- to you and your strengths. I had heard Aries (March 21 - April 20) Libra (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23) cipal, played by Joan Cusack, from discov- Orange County was first written for you by Don't take Nyquil when you don't The mighty Bjork has declared you ering their hijinx) and even designing cos- Mike White, writer also of School of Rock? even have a cold. Especially if you are in cursed. Sell all your worldly posessions tumes. All of this leads up to the big battle Jack Black: This is the best representa- the middle of a very busy day. It makes and move to the summit of Mt. of the bands, with of course some hilarious tion of the real ‘Jables.’ No, Orange County you see things that aren't there. Whee! Kilamanjaro to commune with God and confrontations between outraged parents wasn’t written for me, it was a great role attempt to reenter his good graces. It that I really enjoyed. This is the first Taurus (April 21 - May 21) won’t work, but do it anyways. time anyone’s written for me and it was cool. Communist operatives based in Q: Did you have any especially Djibouti have inserted microscopic needles Scorpio (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) inspiring or eccentric teachers? full of anthrax into the speaker of your brand- The person you met on the internet, when JB: Yeah, I had some cool teachers. new cell phone. You have approximately 97 you decide to meet, is actually a 53-year old man I had an awesome acting teacher and a minutes until your immune system shuts from Cleveland. He will take you to his hotel music teacher. My step-father was a down and you die a horrific death. I told you room, smear you in mayonnaise and make you great teacher, a substitute actually. cell phones were evil. recite Keats, while he videotapes you. Q: So, would you say that the film was in some way almost autobiograph- Gemini (May 22 - June 21) Sagittarius (Nov. 23 - Dec. 21) ical? JB: No, my character isn’t autobio- Go to the corner of 4th and Main. Your mother bought your little sister graphical, but I did draw from personal Wait for exactly 34 seconds. There will be on Ebay with the money she made ped- things for the role. a man in a blue trenchcoat sitting on the dling smack. At least, that's what she told Q: What were some of your parkbench. Ask him for the time. He will me last night. Oh! Slam! favorite scenes? respond, "two of." "Two of what?" you JB: The ones in the classroom, ask. "Two of these nuts in your mouth! Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20) teaching the kids. That’s where most of The wombats are watching. I can say no the magic happened. Cancer (June 22 - July 23) more. Oh, and watch out for those teeth. Q: What was it like working with Disconnect your butt from your They hurt, especially in those regions. Richard Linklater? face. Now. On a side note, make sure our Courtesy of Paramount Pictures JB: Really great. He brings a lot of stolen ResLife furniture is properly con- School of Rock: Education gets a touch of Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19) integrity to the craft. He’s super-patient, cealed. I heard someone is on the Hunt. Rock N’ Roll. focused and mellow. You will realize that you really are a Q: Can you describe your acting mythical animal and then consider flying and faculty along the way. style and who are your influences? Leo (July 24 - Aug. 23) off the seventh floor of the library. Directed by Richard Linklater, who has JB: It’s called... high-energy, bass-mus- SARS is making a comeback. Infect Unfortunately, abominable snowmen are previously helmed wildly divergent films cular, tard-o-licious. I come from the clown your evil roommate. Laugh when she not among the ranks of winged monsters. like Dazed and Confused, Before Sunrise, school of acting- I’ve got a lot of theatrical starts to cough. Then, when she is in the Also, I am predicting numerous thunder- and Waking Life, School isn’t exactly a life- background. [laughs] Sorry, I didn’t answer ER, move all her stuff out of her room storms in your immediate vicinity. lesson teaching, inspirational kind of movie, your question. I like Jim Carrey and Chris and start using it for your yoga sessions. nor does it really pretend to be a radical Farley, those are my favorite comedic actors Pisces (Feb. 20 - Mar. 20) rebellion story, no matter how much trouble of recent times, and Richard Pryor and Virgo (Aug. 24 - Sep. 23) the lead character gets into. Its logic is high- Gene Wilder were my favorites earlier. You are loved by all. she world is ly lacking (no rigorous background checks Concluding the conference, Jack jok- Stay away from girls. All girls. They wonderful and floaty. The sky is pink, on this very strange new teacher?) and its ingly warned, “If you misquote me, I’ll all have SARS. Oh, and stop stalking the ground is orange, and the stars twin- outcomes are obviously telegraphed. But to come after you on my Harley of Death.” your sister. We are in Maryland, not West kle purpley. Ok, now quit looking its defense, School of Rock is a very light, With great trepidation, I humbly submit this Virginia. That’s just wrong man. through the kaleidoscope and go throw thoroughly mainstream comedy with a lot telephonic encounter. However, she does think you’re a hottie. up all that Ny-quil you just downed. Sailing Through The Uncharted Waters of British Sea Power

OLIVER BARANCZYK Having first seen British Sea Power cuts of the album, another standout, “The It’s an unconventional pop record, with the Retriever Weekly Staff Writer perform just over a month ago, I was taken Lonely,” has a melody to it that seems to choruses and hooks sugar coated with aback by their on-stage charisma that ebb and flow like the ocean’s tide, not coin- creamy guitar and bass lines; however, in a For many bands that emerge from amplified the effect of their innovative cidentally the subject matter of many a unique fashion, the band provides a mys- across the Atlantic, placement into a partic- music. Serving as the opening act for British Sea Power song. With creative tery that makes each listen a new voyage ular genre is imminent and usually unnec- another British band, the Libertines, British lyrics that reference the singer’s evening through the vast waters of British Sea essary. It seems that all of the music that I Sea Power created its own musical sanctu- activities, “I drink all day and play by Power. listen to and review for the Retriever fits ary of sorts, filled with lush sounds and cas- night, on my Casio, electric into its own separate niche within the cades of melodic beauty. However, the piano,” and my personal chaotic world of rap and punk and rock and entire sanctuary effect was probably jump- favorite, leaving the listener pop and everything in-between. started by the presence of several trees and hanging with a half whispered Well, the first full-length release from plants, as well as a swan, alongside the assurance that, “just like a British band that calls itself British Sea musicians on stage. Liberace, I will return to haunt Power seems to fit quite nicely into its own I was captivated, as well as many other you with peculiar piano riffs.” corner of the indie-rock music scene that fans in attendance, by British Sea Power Other standout cuts remain the dapples in post-punk, yet without the dark- and immediately flooded to their merchan- soothing “Carrion,” and the er sounds brought forth by New York City’s dise area to investigate possible music album’s magnum opus, the own Interpol, for example. deals. Because their album had not been 14-minute “Lately.” Chances are, the verbiage within the released yet, the band brought with it three Overall, I may seem a bit first paragraph did not explain a great deal, separate CD-singles, each with three songs. biased towards British Sea so I will try to put it into clearer terms from One of the singles highlighted a song that Power’s magnificence, as I this point forward. can be found on The Decline of British Sea have seen them perform in With the release of The Decline of Power, titled, “Apologies to Insect Life.” front of an audience and I British Sea Power, British Sea Power estab- Immediately luring the listener in with a liked their music before writ- lishes itself as an innovative band with a lot cranky guitar lick, the song elevates to a ing this article, as is the case of quirks. One minute, there are guitars wail of guitars and shouting, conjuring up for many of the albums I screeching and wailing in a fit of rage, the image of a parent in the doorway, pos- review. Nevertheless, I am while another has soothing sounds make it ing the question, “how can you listen to this confident that most people Courtesy of roughtraderecords.com difficult to comprehend the variety of such noise?” would really enjoy The Sailing Away: British Sea Power is Turning heads an instrument. In stark contrast from the opening few Decline of British Sea Power. everywhere. September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 17

Spinning the Globe by Brandon Dudley

Somehow, and God only knows octopi and even picking up a freakin’ main goal of any camping trip seems to lighthouse standing directly on some how, I’m not dead yet. In this country, shell on the beach could kill you! be to just come back alive. more cliffs right in the heart of town. that’s quite an accomplishment. There’s a creature that lives in these But, besides the possibility of death And that’s just here. Pretty much everything here can kill shells that has enough poison to kill around every corner, this country is one This week I’m actually going to you. something like 800 million people. of the most beautiful places I’ve ever be able to explore more of the country, There are poisonous spiders; one, I saw it in the Discovery Channel. seen. The town I live in is right on the and hopefully not get killed by any the Funnel Web spider, looks like a And if that doesn’t kill you, odds are Tasman Sea and is surrounded by moun- deadly creatures. Tomorrow morning I killer tarantula, and all ten of the top you’ll get skin cancer and die tains. The beginning of the path head off on an 18-day spring break ten deadliest snakes in the world and from that. Apparently to the mountain is about three trip. A few friends and I are flying up a kangaroo can disembowel a man (or Australia doesn’t have an blocks from campus (on a to Cairns (it’s at the top, right off the woman, they’re equal opportunity). ozone layer, which side note, never decide to Great Barrier Reef). After a few days There are sharks and the stone fish, explains why there are leave the path and just go hostelling it there, we head out to which is an ugly damn fish (looks like two skin cancer clinics straight up a mountain. Fitzroy Island for a few days of relax- a stone, obviously) with a giant spike within a block of each You will almost die ing on the beach, snorkeling, scuba on its back that releases poison when other in downtown climbing across ledges on diving and sea kayaking. After that, stepped on. Its sole purpose seems to Wollongong. According to 50 foot cliffs, get cut to it’s 13 days of traveling down the be to kill stupid tourists, since fish the Aussies, we pollute too shreds, be covered in dirt coast, stopping at any place we hap- don’t exactly go around stepping on much and it’s destroyed their and be almost dead from thirst pen to find interesting. each other. Then there is the box jel- ozone layer. I wouldn’t know; I when you get to the top and find a So, basically that’s why I came lyfish, which is one of the most poi- missed that show on the Discovery freakin’ road and a Cafe on top). About here, despite the killer animals, sonous creatures in the world. When Channel. 30 minutes down the road is the rainfor- there’s quite a bit of fun to have and a described by an Aussie in their classic Sometimes I wonder why the hell I est, with a very impressive waterfall at hell of a lot to see. So, I’ll write more way of understating things, was just came here. the top of the gorge. There are cliffs that about the trip when I get back, assum- something that “could really ruin a So basically there’s a slight level of jut directly into the sea just north of ing nothing has killed me and UMBC good surf,” like it was a crappy wave paranoia involved in pretty much any here, with small beaches and towns in hasn’t been blown away by a hurri- or something. Then there are deadly outdoor activity in this country. The the valleys between them. There is the cane. Supermack Makes Swift Badu is “Keepin’ It Real” from ERYKAH BADU, page 15 reminisces about her childhood, as rock- Appearance With Erykah’s loss of self-righteousness. er Lenny Kravitz offers a lilting guitar While on “Otherside of the Game” (on solo. The stirring trumpeting and vocals Baduizm) Erykah advises her love inter- of the legendary Roy Hargrove on “Think Hardcore Funk-Rock est against living a dishonest life by Twice” is nicely complemented by a tight working an illegal job, on “Danger” she backbeat and the warm nasal tone of sings of this same life: “ Its been a long from SUPERMACK, page 14 Badu’s vocals. The same feel is produced of verse like he was born to do it. Cmo time since my man been gone/but when on “Bump”, where Erykah seems to only When they took the set, all five guys and MadMike rocked all over the stage he gets here you know I won’t be gone”. aim to work a danceable beat around were wearing tacky suits and ties, shell- with their guitars, especially during the The invigorating beats and synth piano sophomoric lyrics. Other tracks on tops, and those aviator sunglasses that second piece, when the wireless amp make “Danger” a lively experience. On Worldwide Underground have an identi- remind everyone of “Top Gun”. Seeing proved beneficial for Cmo’s crowd the track “Back in the day (puff)” Erykah cal whimsical and rhapsodic feel, yet are as how it was one of those rare Fall days wanderings. Motz provides a polished superbly crafted where it was HOT, Adrian, whose steady and professional mixing job on synth, and flawlessly rhythm and complex style would wear making their music sound less like delivered. crummy stage music Such makes and more like what W o r l d w i d e you’re going to hear Underground more on their albums. than just a main- Speaking of stages stream neo-soul and albums, record. By losing Supermack will be per- the gimmicky, vir- forming all over the tuous “soul-power” area in the upcoming lyrics and flat weeks. Thanks to their organic vibe that Courtesy of supermack.com uber-informative web- sometimes plaques Making the Band: Short concert still proves to entertain site, http://www.super- neo-soul music, Saturday crowd. mack.com, you, too, Underground is a can go and see this solid R&B record- most drummers into the ground, quickly funk-rock phenom perform. Most notably, ing in its own right. had to forego style for survival, shed- they’ll be at the Hard Rock Café in The exception- ding his coat, shirt and tie and going Washington, DC, on Oct. 23rd, which is a ality of Worldwide bare-chested, which went over well with Thursday. Hmmm… Those UMBC students Underground pos- the female audience. The reason they who typically just go into Baltimore for the sibly speaks to were getting so steamed up? blasé “college night” at local clubs should Erykah Badu intent Their music, of course. J. Carter’s definitely hop down to 999 E. Street, NW, to to create an edge voice is powerful, and his experience check ‘em out. I’ll probably be there, to see over the overabun- with rap enables him to fire off streams what a full Supermack show has to offer. dance of neo-soul artists emerging on Movie Tickets...$0 the music scene. New CD’s...$0 However, she has an obvious advan- Concert Tickets...$0 tage over her com- Rockstar Interviews...$0 petitors -she does- Backstage Passes...$0 n’t need to appear Writing for TRW Features...Priceless in Coke commer- cials to prove that she is “Keepin’ it Write [email protected] to get more information on living the Courtesy of amazon.com Real”; her music life of a UMBC Features Reporter Erykah Badu: The queen of neo-soul manages to redefine speaks loads about and perfect a style that she already excelled at. her veritable talent. Page 18 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 30, 2003

F.U.E.L.’s Major of the Week Modern Languages & Linguistics

The Department of Modern students with study abroad experi- Languages and Linguistics offers an ences in Mexico. innovative, multi-disciplinary pro- What can I do with this major? gram which emphasizes a triple focus: MLL graduates have successfully language, literature, and society. pursued careers in law, medicine, edu- What do MLL majors study? cation, social work, government and Students may choose from four international business. Many stu- options within the MLL major: 1) one dents continue their education by pur- language option in French, German, suing masters and doctorate degrees. Russian, or Spanish; 2) two language What is the Intercultural option 3) language and literary stud- Living Exchange (ILE)? ies; and 4) applied linguistics. MLL The ILE is a new living and also offers a minor in modern lan- learning community in connection guages and a certificate in French, with the Office of Residential Life. German, Russian, and Spanish. This program promotes linguistic pro- What special opportunities are ficiency through the immersion of stu- Courtesy of lostintranslation.com available to MLL majors? dents in the language and culture in Translating Life: Murray and Johannson wow audiences with mind numbing MLL majors are encouraged to one of seven groups: Chinese, French, performances. participate in both internship, under- German, Japanese, Korean, Russian, graduate research and study abroad and Spanish. Residing in the ILE is experiences. Many internships can also an excellent opportunity for stu- Clever Comedy As Well As be connected to credit through MLL dents preparing to study abroad. For courses. Past internships have been more information, contact the ILE completed in government agencies Director, Judith Schneider, at schnei- Bittersweet Romance Can such as NSA, translation services, lan- [email protected]. guage teaching, and social service. Sound Interesting? Faculty support and encourage under- For more information about the Be Found in Translation graduate participation in research. MLL department, visit their website at UMBC participates in the Maryland in www.umbc.edu/mll or visit their STEVE WILEY Bob and Charlotte, both truly lost at Mexico program, which places MLL office in ACIV Room 146. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer the start of the film, somehow find each other amidst the unfamiliarity of their sur- Some movies, you simply couldn’t roundings, perhaps coming close to finding imagine their being different in any way, themselves in the process. The country they shape or form (which of course is why find themselves in, is, to use that most egre- remakes often are miserable failures). gious of clichés, “a land of contrast.” The Other films invite speculation as to how noisy, bustling, mechanical metropolis of their success, or lack thereof, would have Tokyo diverges with the serene spiritual been affected by a key change in terms of traditions of the Buddhist temple. The story, direction, casting or performances. nation of Japan is shown from the perspec- Lost in Translation (***1/2 out of tive of the American visitor, a not entirely four) could fall under both classifications. fair presentation (rife, some might say, with On one hand, Sofia Coppola’s new comic silly stereotypes), but one with many possi- drama has a distinctive look about it and its bilities for the absurd. superb cast is note perfect. Yet, one can If not a true culture clash, what these hardly help but wonder how immensely travelers encounter is cultural confusion, inferior this could have been, either a and the film depicts the disparities (or is generically Hollywood-ized snore, or an that “despair”) that erupt when the barriers aimless avant-garde mess, in the hands of of language and ritual are breached. The less-adept filmmakers and performers. It’s results, as when Bob’s TV commercial lucky that the stars, so to speak, converged director, who must think he’s the next Akira at just the right time to make what is at Kurosawa, shouts instructions for maybe times a travelogue filled with wacky 35 seconds, with the translation offered as Courtesy of fingertight.com humor, and other times a somber, reflective simply “turn to the left.” Many of the fun- Surprisingly Good: Fingertight has their fingers on the right chords. character study. nier moments of the film belong to what Bill Murray, whom most of us know you might call “broad humor,” slapstick from his big comedy hits like Caddyshack, comic relief that enhances the subtler heart Fingertight Is Right On Ghostbusters and Groundhog Day, has of the story, the conversations and adven- made a kind of second career playing tures of the two leads. weightier roles, often still in comedic situa- First exchanging glances in the hotel Key with Mainstream Fans tions, but with characters of a deeper hue. elevator, Bob and Charlotte don’t meet His somewhat morose persona has played a until each has reached the end of his or her large part in Wes Anderson’s Rushmore and rope. Bob, exasperated by a whisky ad pho- NARDI BELLETTE your feet starts tapping and your head starts The Royal Tenenbaums and his character in tographer’s pleadings to look like “Snah- Retriever Weekly Staff Writer bumping to the lyrics mainly about women. Lost in Translation, 1970s actor Bob tula” and “Loja Moo-wa: 007,” is ready for As the CD progresses you slowly get to my Harris, runs along these same bittersweet his flight home. For Charlotte, ennui has set Okay, so I don’t usually listen to this favorite part, which is what call their lines. A weary, disconnected but decent in, and not even visits to a shrine or to a kind of music, which I could only describe “soul.” From about track 10 or 11 man, Harris is spending a week in Japan to bizarre video arcade can help. The two, with my limited knowledge as the usual Fingertight starts to slow it up and get per- endorse a brand of whisky, being paid, as around 30 years apart in age, strike up a 99.1 to 99.5 turn-over. This is because the sonal. Probably the best song on the CD he puts it sullenly, “$2 million when he curious, almost intimate friendship that lyrics and beat are so sweet that you’d (because it reminds you of a sexual climax) could be doing a play somewhere.” seems improbable from a logical view- swear you heard it on MTV’s TRL. So, is Track 12: Resurface, which I fell asleep Enter Charlotte, played by the up-and- point, but natural and necessary, as seen by right now I know the skeptics reading this to playing on repeat (not to say that it give coming young actress Scarlett Johansson these lonely, desperate people. are saying “Your playin’” or “Who paid me any pleasure in that way). (Ghost World), chronically bored, obser- Lost in Translation is a witty wonder, you?” yet I am here only semi-paid my the By the time you realize you have vantly disparaging, and seeking enlighten- blissful in its portrayal two people who first newspaper and very unbiased. ended all 15 tracks you kind of don’t want ment. Her husband, John (Giovani Ribisi), want to escape to more familiar territory, Looking at the cover of this CD will it to end, and are surprised when they are is a busy photographer whose obnoxious but eventually find it impossible to leave probably at first draught the average R&B, since the songs are so short. Yet, afterwards navel gazing make him an unfortunately behind what they have discovered. Nearly Blues, Hits or Country listener (all of which you still think you’ve heard them some- poor match for his wife of two years, when all the elements work, from cinematogra- I devotedly am) with its Techno/Pearl Jam- where before since they sound a lot like he’s not off snapping rolls of film of insipid phy to the soundtrack. I’m tempted to use ish graphics, don’t be prejudiced! many other bands, but with a special twist. actresses. Really, the man pronounces the the term “tone poem” in relation to this For the first few tracks you kind of Finally, I guarantee that you’ll want to hear word “yeah” as if he’s getting paid each lovely movie, but perhaps “haiku” would think, “Wow, this is so hard core!” But then them again. time, with a bonus for nasality. be more appropriate. September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 19

RecSports 101: Intro To Fun This Week:The Excitement of Flag Football by: Dustin Fisher

Football fever is striking UMBC with Good luck and we’ll see you on the the Ravens winning again and what’s left field. of the Redskins fans hoping the Ball Coach can have a miracle sophomore year. And Important Dates now it’s time to join in the action yourself. Flag football is one of the few remain- September 30 ing spectator sports in intramurals with all Women’s Soccer: at Rider of our outdoor facilities spread all over the Women’s Volleyball: at Morgan State place. The flag football games will be played on Erickson Field between 12:00 October 1 and 5:00 Mondays through Fridays. Footlocker/ACIC Flag Football start- It’s a high traffic area and an exciting ing date sport to play. Your game will be broadcast live through the skybox windows of the October 2 library, the Skylight Lounge in the Field Hockey: Towson University Commons and half of the Erickson Hall Women’s Volleyball: Towson dorm windows. University So whether you’re out there looking for some fun and friendly competition or October 4 you’re just trying to look good to impress Men’s Soccer: at Quinnipiac some of your friends and random strangers, Women’s Soccer: Sacred Heart flag football is the way to go. University The sign-up deadline has passed Women’s Volleyball: Loyola College already, but the league won’t start until this Friday, so it’s not too late to get on a team October 4- October 5 as a free agent. You can bring a couple Men’s Tennis: Metro Classic friends too. There are three leagues of competition October 5 to suit all teams that want to play. There is Cross Country: Lasalle Invitational a competitive mens division (NFL), a Sunday Night Basketball starting recreational mens division (CFL), and a date coed league for all the football-loving females on campus. October 6 If you want to know more about the Field Hockey: at Siena College league, check us out on the web at Men’s Soccer: at Central Connecticut www.umbc.edu/Recreation/Intramurals/. Women’s Soccer: Monmouth So grab your friends and make sure you University stop up in RAC 321 or call 410-455-2118 UMBC World Cup Indoor Soccer to find out how you can sign up. signup deadline College Students Use Talent to innUendo Get Into the Playboy Mansion

from PLAYBOY, page 14 ly rewarded. The lucky S.O.B. with the best ...it’s your life, but we could live it better... do anything you want (literally anything). tribute will get the grand prize package You can send Playboy; artwork, raps, worth $4,000-5000. The package will poems, stories, photos, sculpture, songs, include a trip for two to the Playboy man- compositions, cartoons, collages, etc. See, I sion, two night hotel accommodations, some spending cash ($500), poolside lunch with a playmate, and a relaxing dip What do you get when you combine a soror, a in the infamous GROTTO. Think about it, you and your best friend at Hef’s private type-A student leader, a computer genius, a estate, with a bunny all to yourselves. homebody, a nerd, a love expert, and of course, What to do, what to do. a fabulous gay guy in one column? So you got your tribute all done, huh. Now you’re ready to party it up with the bunnies. Don’t go whipping out your Introducing an advice column like you’ve never bathrobe and cigar just yet. Each entry seen. It’s almost too hot to print, but we’ll let you will be judged on three different areas: be the judge. Boundaries? We cross ‘em. Originality, Creativity and Execution. Taboos? Never heard of them. Give us your best Each of these areas is weighted equally, stuff and we won’t disapoint. 33 percent each. However, after the scores are tallied, if there is a tie, then the prize will be awarded to the person with the greatest display of originality. So Real advice from real people who know...It’s like there is hope for us less “artistic” people talking to you friends, only cooler. to make it to the mansion, or you can just make friends with the graphic design majors on campus - the trip is for two. So now that your love for Playboy Courtesy of Playboy magazine has been renewed, go to your local book store and pick up a copy of the In Rare Taste: One of few clothed Write to [email protected] withques- Playboy covers over the years. literature that has been putting smiles on so many faces around the world for the tions about anything and everything... told you ANYTHING. The only thing that past 50 years. but please no more questions about where your mom’s Playboy asks is that the material may not be For more information go to been for the last 10 years. We don’t know. explicit or offensive in nature. www.playboy.com/on-campus/50contest/ For your efforts you may be handsome- and GOOD LUCK! Page 20 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES September 30, 2003 Punishing the Platter

✁ This Week: The Amazing Avocado ByKaidye Hansen

I have been eating a huge •tomatoes amount of Salsa Rico food lately, •you will also need a paring and have been mostly happy with it. knife, However, there is one thing that •spoon, fork and bowl. Salsa Rico can not do well, or even averagely. Guacamole. There is Cut each avocado in half, around nothing I love more in this world the large pit. Spoon the avocado out of than fresh avocados. Ok, well, a few, each section and into the bowl, setting but none of them are food. the pits aside. Squeeze the limes into the For this reason, I refuse to sub- mix, and then add salt, pepper and gar- mit my tastebuds to Salsa Rico's sub- lic salt, approximately 1/3 of a teaspoon standard guacamole, and am fully of each. Using the fork mix everythign understanding of anyone who dis- together, thouroughly creaming the avo- likes the stuff. However, the situa- cado. Once squished and mixed, add tion is no longer acceptable, and I diced tomatoes and stir slightly. am here now to convert you all to my While I am a big fan of diving semi-worshipping reverence for all into the guacamole as soon as it is that is avocado and good in this mixed, the flavors to come fully world with my amazing guacamole. together after about an hour. I would suggest eating with tortilla chips. Ingredients: Other options with this include •4 ripe avocados - they should mixing in some cream cheese, or sim- be brown/blackish, not green, ply slices of avocado topped with and slightly soft to the touch, but lemon or lime juice and some salt. not squishy Avocado also goes amazingly well on •2 fresh limes all types of sandwiches and salads. •salt •pepper Got a tasty food idea? Email •garlic salt [email protected] September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES Page 21

Beginning [Sept. 29] Events Happening Throughout Incidentally... the Greater Baltimore-Washington Area TOWN Events Happening On and Around the UMBC Campus Beginning [Sept. 30] Thursday, September 29 is joined at 8:00 by Pseudopod and Do You Feel...? Ingram Hill, so be sure to come to Tuesday, September 30 Is a 1956 film featuring the first elec- Back in the late ‘70s, there was one support these guys. Politics Schmolitics! tronic sound score (created by Louis album rock fans simply had to have, Saturday, October 4 Ever heard of the Green Party? No! and Bebe Barron.) The department of an LP that paved the way for many Inside Out Well, here’s your chance to find out music will be presenting a screening of other rockers to produce live You remember that song about the girl more information and even get the film at 8pm at the Commons Grill. records. I’m talking of course about who put the singer’s heart in a blender involved. A meeting will be held in A lecture on its electronic sound score Peter Frampton Comes Alive! You and made him really sad and stuff? Commons 329 from 8pm-9:30pm. will be given by Stephan Prock on might have seen him on the I’m sure you know that was by the Contact David Gill at gdbikeman@hot- October 3 at 1pm in the Fine Arts “Homerpalooza” episode of The band Eve 6, whose self-titled album mail.com for more info. Building (Room 011.) Admission is Simpsons, and now’s your chance to helped them make a name for them- Wednesday, October 1 free. For more information, call 410- see this legend up close and person- selves and have had two CDs released Eye Candy 455-MUSC. al, at D.C.’s Lisner Auditorium, since then, including the recent It’s Founder of an experimental art move- Friday, October 3 tonight at 8. TM* All In Your Head. Go see what all the ment known as Fluxus, Dick Higgins’ WMBC’s Friday Freebie You Really Got Me! fuss is about, tonight at 8:00 pm at the art work will be displayed at the AOK Get your groove on with Tome from Among the bands who stormed U.S. Recher Theatre in Towson, MD. TM* library throughout the day. Admission 1pm-2pm! Part of WMBC’s weekly radio and records charts in the Tuesday, October 7 is free. The collection can be seen in the Friday Freebie series, music will be 1960s- the British Invasion- were Bring Your Own Bag gallery which is open Monday through performed by Tome either on the the Kinks, a band who helped usher “Bag lunch” that is. Today at noon Friday, 12 noon to 4:30 pm, on Commons street stage (if its sunny) or in a rougher edge to pop music. there’s a Brown Bag Seminar that Thursday until 8 pm, and Saturday 1- 5 in the Cabaret (if its not sunny). Email Now Dave Davies, their guitarist UMBCers interested in entrepre- pm Anthony Davis at [email protected] Dave Davies is making two area neurship will want to attend, called Thursday, October 2 for more information. stops to give you a taste of their “Listen and get the sale.” It’ll be Battle of the Bands Friday, October 3 music: tonight at 9:00 at the State held at the Salem Evangelical Come out from 7pm to 12am to see live Take a Break! Theatre in Falls Church, VA and Lutheran Church, 905 Frederick talent compete against each other. The And come out to party with Omega Psi Sunday night at 7:00 at Baltimore’s Rd., and will feature guest speaker event is sponsored by SEB. Contact Jen Phi Fraternity, Inc. on the UMBC Funk Box. TM* Rhody Bosley. Get down to busi- Dress at [email protected] to find out Ballroom dance floor. Dance the night Friday, October 3 ness, then enjoy drinks and dessert. where the battle will be and get any of away to hip-hop, reggae, club, and go- Bunch o’ Crunch your other related questions answered. go music! Doors open at 9pm. Contact Pittsburgh-based rockers The Clarks *TM = Ticketmaster: (410) 481- Thursday, October 2 Aaron Smalls at [email protected] lead the bill tonight for a big show SEAT; www.ticketmaster.com Forbidden Planet for more information. at the Recher Theatre. The band, Got an upcoming area event? which prides itself on “straight- Email [email protected] (min. 2 ahead, pretense-free” rock ‘n’ roll, weeks notice). Page 22 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY September 30, 2003 Sports Retrievers Face Nation’s Number This Week in Sports Four and Fail to Score a Goal

KATHLEEN JACKSON Men’s Soccer: Retriever Weekly Senior Writer October 1 vs. Albany at UMBC Soccer This past week the men’s Stadium. (3:00) soccer team faced two of their toughest opponents this season Derek McElligott has 31 career goals after last and came out with a close loss to week’s tie against Northeastern. number four-ranked Old Dominion University and a tie to new conference foe Northeastern University. This past Wednesday in Norfolk, VA ODU earned their Women’s Soccer: seventh shutout of the season against the Retrievers. On October 5 vs. Howard at UMBC Soccer Saturday in Boston, MA in their Stadium (2:00) very first appearance in America Robin Barbaris has recorded 27 saves over the East conference games the last five games. Dawgs’ earned a 2-2 draw to the pre-season favorite NU Huskies. Against Northeastern junior forward Derek McElligott earned his second goal of the game with 3:14 left on the clock. NU came Field Hockey: out and took an early lead getting October 5 vs. Maine at UMBC Soccer on the board at 9:32 in. Huskies’ Daniel Ivec struck the ball into Stadium the center where it found Michael Red hot Maine (8-2) squares off against the Cipianro. McElligott earned his struggling Retrievers this week. first goal of the game at the 62- File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff Desire of a Dawg: Men’s soccer lost a good game to Old see SOCCER page 23 Dominion and will look to improve this week.

Volleyball Takes Two of Three in Cross Country: October 4 at Paul Short Invitational, Bethlehem PA (Lehigh) Autumn Classic at Conneticut The Paul Short Invitational is the next stop for the Cross Country team, who put up impressive DEREK SMITH numbers last week at the Great American XC Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Festival last week.

In the two tournaments pre- vious to the Autumn Classic, UMBC (9-7) has gone 2-1, and either taken first or second Tennis: place in each tournament. The Autumn Classic was no differ- October 3-4 at Towson Tournament. ent. The Lady Retrievers went Senior Josef Novotny recorded his three wins 2-1 and took second place, last Monday, improving his record to 52-11. behind the hosting UConn Huskies (10-6). On Friday UMBC won an exciting five-game match against the Maine Black Bears. Maine took the first game 30- Volleyball: 23. Then in the second game September 30 at Morgan State University. the Lady Retrievers woke after falling behind 15-9. UMBC Regional action vs. Morgan State and Loyola went on a 6-0 run and never are on tap for the Lady Retrievers this week, looked back, winning the game File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff after taking two of three games at last week- Up top: Jennifer Davis and Julie Waclawiak raise the roof at the 30-24. The Lady Retrievers recent tournament. end’s UConn Tournament. won game three 30-21, but could close the deal in game Week, Megan Gross, tallied 57 tough UConn (10-6) team. They four. Game five started out just assists. Jocelyn Teoh led the lost by scores of 30-26, 30-23, as close as the previous games, team with 22 kills and 19 digs and 30-20. The Lady Huskies until the Retrievers went on a while Jennifer Davis hit .273 held UMBC to a dismal .000 3-1 run to win it 15-13. with 19 kills. hitting percentage in game America East Setter of the At noon UMBC faced a three and .117 for the match. September 30, 2003 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS Page 23 Retrievers Fail to Score from SOCCER, page 22 minute mark. The goal came from a head- saved by a defender on the line,” said er off of a cross from junior midfielder McElligott. “After awhile it was just frus- Danny Mongello. trating.” Before McElligott scored his game- ODU’s game-winner came at the 37- tying goal the Retrievers had been behind minute mark when Ryan Sniegowski since the 75-minute mark. NU had taken passed a ball into the box that Brian the 2-1 lead at that point when Huskies’ Cvilikas put in. senior co-captain Atha Kirkopoulos sent The first half was controlled by the in a direct kick from the top of the box. Retrievers Retriever controlled as they out The ball bent around Dawgs’ keeper Andy shot the Monarchs 7-5. Trying not to let the Marchica and bounced off the post before frustration control the game UMBC finding its way into the goal. After two switched formations in the second half to overtime periods the game remained at a try and get more offensive opportunities. two all tie. But in the end they just ran out of time. In Wednesday’s away match the ODU’s 2-0 win over the Dawgs, makes Retrievers failed to score and followed them the only team in Division I men’s soc- suit with all the other opponents ODU has cer still unscored upon. ODU continues to faced this season. “It was just one of those hold on to their unbeaten ways as they beat days where it wasn’t falling for us,” com- Campbell University 5-0 on September 27. mented Mongello. “We couldn’t get a The Dawgs continue conference play Jean Dougherty / Retriever Weekly Staff goal.” at home on Wednesday October 3 at 3:00 as Men’s soccer: The men’s soccer has been hard to beat tthis year. “We hit the post twice and had a goal they face SUNY Albany. Field Hockey Remains Positive After Sudden Streak Of Losses Positive signs appear in losses

moral victories out of their game against DAVID JUN the Bucknell Bison, but it was the Lady Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Bison who came out on top at the end. The Lady Retrievers out-shot Bucknell 13-12, The UMBC field hockey team pre- but their best scoring chance on a penalty pared to play well for the entire 70 minutes corner shot from sophomore attacker Katie of action on the field. During their last two Cutchall ended up hitting the right crossbar. games, lapses of focus during the game cost With 1:30 remaining in the first half, the Lady Retrievers dearly as they lost on Bucknell scored first on a blistering shot by home turf to Bucknell 4-0 and then to sophomore forward Kelly O’Brien with the Georgetown on the road 3-1. The Lady assist going to freshman midfielder Callista Retrievers now have a record of 1-7. “The Costoupolos. Junior Meiko Boynton had losses are frustrating. We have a tough three points on the day as Bucknell went on schedule this year. The main problem is to score three more times in the second that we are consistently beating ourselves. half. Junior goalkeeper Meghan Polek had We let Bucknell take too many high-per- three saves for the Lady Retrievers. “I think centage shots in the form of penalty corner our team played real well, we dominated shots,” head coach Kristy Hartman said. the game. We were just a bit unlucky. But “But we have made major improvements in we need to watch ourselves so we get as terms of making good ‘back passes’ leading few corners as possible,” sophomore to better ‘transfer passing’. This has led to attacker Amanda Heinz said. “It was anoth- us being able to move the ball from one er frustrating loss. Our efforts are not pro- side of the field to the other side effective- ducing desired outcomes, but we’re trying ly,” Hartman added when commenting on to keep our heads up,” added junior mid- Aaron Stoler / Retriever Weekly Staff their current seven-game losing streak.. Charging forward: Rebekah Krolus runs down a ball in recent field hockey action. The Lady Retrievers may have gotten see HOCKEY, page 24 Athleteof theWeek: Adam Driscoll by Amanda Otis

On Sunday mornings this summer, ally the most challenging part of races, were ‘Suga,’ as his close friends call him, while most of us were still sleeping or in the easiest part.” doesn’t seem to have any limits. church, Adam Driscoll was out for a This was the second week in row that “Adam is a very hard worker and has twenty-two mile run. He was running Driscoll was the top Retriever finisher. Last overcome a lot to be where he is in the per week more than most people do in a week, at Navy, Driscoll placed twentieth distance events right now. I think every- year. Driscoll was putting in between 90 overall. one on the team looks to him as a leader,” and 100 miles a week, and it has been “I just ran once a day all summer, put- says teammate Michael Caputi. paying off this season. ting the effort and length of two workouts Driscoll, a senior, who is also on the This past Friday, in the Great into one,” he says about his training habits. staff of The Retriever Weekly, has had American Cross Country Festival at the “The more you run, the more efficient you many successes that have led up to where SAS Soccer Park in Cary, N.C., Driscoll get, so I chose to do long distances. Those he is today. He finished thirteenth at last was the first finisher for UMBC’s men last four miles after eighteen are the hardest year’s NEC championships and carried coming in fifteenth place with a time of part, but that is what separates you from the his momentum into the track seasons this 27:52.4 in the 8000 meter race. rest.” year. “This was one of the hardest cours- One of the most inspiring aspects of “I just ran once a day all summer, es I have run because of all the mud,” Driscoll’s success is that he has diabetes, putting the effort and length of two work- Driscoll says. “The hills, which are usu- which often limits athletes in competition. outs into one,” explained Driscoll. Page 24 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY SPORTS September 30, 2003 Field Hockey Dawgs Through Two Games Who’s Hot from HOCKEY page 23 The men and women’s cross fielder Leslie Chilcote. Three out of the country teams for having a four goals scored by Bucknell came off of solid weekend in the Great penalty corner shots. Two struggling field American Cross Country hockey teams met at Georgetown Festival. The men finished University with the Lady Hoyas surviving the contest, 3-1. Georgetown out-shot fifth out of 21 universities UMBC 17-4, scoring three times in the first and the women ended up in half. UMBC had a few attempts to score, sixth out of 18 universities. but found the back of the net hard to find. Polek was forced to make 14 saves as she Who’s Not faced a flurry of shots in the first ten min- utes of the game. “We have given it our all. Women’s soccer for having We try to leave everything on the field. a slow start to the season The effort is there and hopefully the results with an 0-5 record. will come if we continue to play hard as a team,” junior attacker Kristin Ramsay said. She added, “An occasional lapse of focus by a team may determine the course of their Weekly Poll: season.” “We are still looking to win right Q: Which sporting event now. Our coach introduced a new configu- ration to us to generate more offense. We would you rather attend? can beat any team no matter how good they Volleyball or Field Hockey are,” Heinz said about the remainder of their season. Last Weeks The UMBC field hockey team will be Aaron Stoler / Retriever Weekly Staff back in action at the friendly confines of Moving on: Field hockey has put the pressure on opposing defenses this year. Weekly Poll: UMBC Stadium on Sunday October 5th. Q: Have you visited the UMBC Stadium in the past Volleyball Takes Two of Three in Autumn Classic month?

from HOCKEY page 22 A: 90%-no, 10%-yes Teoh was the only Retriever with double digit kills with 15. Amy Storasta led the team in digs with 13. Jamie Hadenfeldt led the Lady Huskies with 22 kills and 15 digs. The Lady Retrievers had a chance to bounce back in their last match of the tournament against Florida Atlantic. Game one looked a lot like game three of their previous match against UConn. The Lady Retrievers hit .000 and lost 30-17. After that UMBC won the next three games by scores of 30-27, 30-24, 30-28. The Lady Retrievers hit an impressive .405 for game two and hit .250 for the game. Teoh, Starosta, and Davis had 23, 16 and 14 kills respective- ly. Gross lead the team in assists with 52, and Christine Skala lead the team in digs with 20. Teoh was the only Retriever that made the All-Tournament team. The Jean Dougherty / Retriever Weekly Staff Lady Retrievers next match is on Loud and clear: Head coach Greg Giovannazzi talks to his players this past Tuesday against Morgan St., and again weekend at the UConn tournament. on Thursday against Loyola.

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Adam Driscoll runs his way to AOTW. 23 Volleyball competes in another tournament. 22 Soccer opens the conference season. 22 Sports Field Hockey continues skid. 23 Cross Country Meets the Best and Fares Well

The senior garnered 15 points for AMIT CHAND his efforts. Another senior, Greg Retriever Weekly Staff Writer Saylor, was the next Retriever to cross the finish line in a time of Led by Adam Driscoll and 28:21.4 and was credited with 32 Stefanie Thomas the UMBC men’s points. Junior Jesse Stump finished and women’s cross country team in a time of 28:21.4 and received traveled down to SAS Soccer Park 38 points. Freshman Shawn in Cary, North Carolina to partici- Shokry ended up with 57 points pate in the Great American Cross and a time of 29:09.5. Standout Country Festival. The men man- sophomore John Commins was the aged to place number five out of a next Retriever to complete the field of 21 universities. The course with 65 points in a time of women placed number six out of a 29:28.5. field of 18 universities. The festival In the women’s 5K college attracted some of the top ranked run, North Florida ran away with teams from around the country, the top spot with 97 points and a including the number one ranked time of 1:38:23.90. Loyola College women of BYU. Their tough early placed number two with a time of schedule prepared the Retrievers 1:38:42.30 and 107 points. for such a major event. The battle Southern Indiana, Davidson tested men and women were able College and Hillsdale College fin- to have a strong showing against ished three, four and five respec- some top ranked competition. tively. Individual winner Jenny On the men’s side, the River Lake of South Carolina ran a time Hawks of UMass – Lowell had the of 18:29.9. Scoring 195 points the best time of 2:17:28.31 in the col- Lady Retrievers came in at six with lege 8K run and ended up with 55 a time of 1:41:37.80, with the team points. Hillsdale College, Grand averaging 20:19.56. Consistently Valley State University and strong performing Thomas once Southern Indiana came in numbers again paced the Lady Retrievers two, three and four respectively. with a time of 19:34.2. The sopho- File Photo / Retriever Weekly Staff UMBC rounded out the top five more ended up with 13 points to Looking good: Cross country had a fabulous weekend at tthe Great American Cross Country teams with a time of 2:23:24.90. show for her run. Junior Cara Festival. With Coastal Carolina besting Wettlaufer finished next for UMBC’s time with 2:23:03.50, the UMBC in 19:58.9 which got her 24 Next up for the cross country Retrievers finished ahead of them points. Promising freshmen Britta team is the Paul Short Invitational with 207 points versus 219. Terah Nelson and Kathleen Galan ended on October 4. The team will be UMBC Blanked by Kipchiris of Coastal Carolina ran a up with times of 20:06.5 and traveling to Lehigh University in time of 26:46.7 to come in first 20:56.7 respectively. Nelson got 32 Pennsylvania, the second straight place. Driscoll was the top points and teammate Galan got 61 week they have an out of state Boston 2-0 in AEC Retriever with a time of 27:52.4. points. meet. UMBC’s offensive woes continue

DOUGLAS MYERS they have played and have only Retriever Weekly Staff Writer scored once the entire season. “The cards haven’t been falling The Retrievers suffered their our way,” sophomore Jessica third straight shutout Saturday Golibart said after the game. against Boston University, losing “We’re trying to work it out, but 2-0. Rebecca Beyer and Brooke things haven’t clicked yet.” Bingham scored a goal apiece, Sophomore Robin Babaris and goalie Jessica Clinton had another excellent game, recorded her third shutout of the withstanding an onslaught of year as Boston won its fourth shots from a sharp shooting game in a row. UMBC remains Boston team. She had five saves winless this year, dropping to 0- on the day, bringing her season 5-0. total to 27. “I think that Robin Beyer scored at 37:50 after has really stepped up this year,” receiving a 40-yard pass from senior midfielder Jessa Karko midfielder Susan Marchall. She said. “She’s become a real leader came in from the right side alone and has carried this team.” and snuck a shot to the left side UMBC gets a slight past Retriever goaltender Robin break from the American East Babaris. Bingham nailed the cof- this week. They head to fin shut with an insurance goal Lawrenceville, New Jersey to off the crossbar at 54:09. face the Rider Broncos Tuesday The Retrievers were once and play host to the Howard again flustered on offense, only Bison this Saturday the fourth, Jean Dougherty / Retriever Weekly Staff managing a pair of shots the 2:00 at UMBC Soccer Stadium. Coming through: A UMBC defender bears through the pressure to help her team. entire game. UMBC has been The Broncos are 3-2-2 this sea- shut out four of the five games son while the Bison are 1-8-0.