BEAUTY 589

SHA Itisa brightsummer day in 1947.Myfather,a fat,funnyman

with beautifuleyes and a subversivewit, is tryingto decide

Beauty: When the Other Dancer which ofhis eightchildrenhe willtakewithhim tothecounty

fair.My mother,ofcourse,willnotgo.She isknocked outfrom Isthe Self gettingmostof us ready:Ihold my neck stiffagainstthepres- sureofher knucklesasshe hastilycompletesthebraidingand theribboningofmy hair. ALICE WALKER Myfatheris the driverfor therichold white ladyup theroad. Her nameis MissMey.She ownsall thelandformilesaround,as wellasthehouseinwhich welive.AllIremember aboutheris thatsheonceofferedtopaymy motherthirty-fivecentsforclean- ingherhouse,rakingup pilesofhermagnolialeaves,and wash- ingherfamily’clothes,and thatmy mother—she ofno money,

eightchildren,and a chronicearache—refusedit.But I do not AliceWalker isan AfricanAmerican novelist,poet,and essayist thinkofthisin 1947. |am two-and-a-halfyearsold.1wantto go best known for her 1982 novel The Color Purple,forwhich she everywheremy daddy goes.Iam excitedattheprospectof riding won the American Book Award and the PulitzerPrize.Born in in a car.Someone has toldme fairsarefun.That thereisroom in 1944 inEatonton,Georgia,Walker attended Spelman College in the carforonlythreeofus doesn’tfazeme atall.Whirlinghap- Atlanta,Georgia,and holds a BA from Sarah Lawrence College pilyinmy starchyfrock,showingoff my biscuit-polishedpatent- in Yonkers, New York.After college,she became activein the leathershoesand lavendersocks,tossingmy head in a way that civilrightsmovement, risingto prominence inthe blackfeminist makes my ribbonsbounce,| stand,hands on hips,beforemy movement. InThe Color Purple,Walker dealswiththe themes of father.“Takeme, Daddy,”Isaywithassurance,“I’m theprettiest!” racism,sexism,and poverty featured in much of her work. This Later,itdoes not surpriseme to find myself in Miss Meys selection,“Beauty: When the Other Danceris the Self,”wasfirst shinyblackcar,sharingtheback seatwiththeotherluckyones. publishedinher 1983 essay collectionInSearch of Our Mothers’ Does not surpriseme that|thoroughlyenjoythefair.At home Gardens: Womanist Prose. In this essay, Walker details a child- thatnightItelltheunluckyonesall Ican remember aboutthe hood accidentand the impact ithad on herself-image through- merry-go-round,theman whoeats livechickens,and theteddy out muchof her life. bears,untiltheysay:that’senough,baby Alice.Shut up now, and go tosleep.

ItisEasterSunday, 1950. I am dressedin a green,flocked, BB scalloped-hemdress(handmade by my adoringsister,Ruth)

10

a

591

up

in-

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see

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me

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my

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is

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upon.

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trunk,

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happened.

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BEAUTY

to

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head.

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a

into

up

to

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close

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doctor.

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to

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it

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and

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look toward

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great

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mother. wish happened,

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pleased.

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birds.

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and

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WALKER

thank

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highly

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ranch,”

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sense!”

my

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pellets

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ALICE has

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On

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“on mother;

black

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livering we 592 ALICE WALKER BEAUTY 593

and shakinghishead.“Eyesaresympathetic,”he says.“Ifone is My brother,theone who createdthestoryabout thewire, blind,the otherwilllikelybecomeblind too.” comes tomy rescue.But then brags so much about“protecting”

Thiscommentof thedoctor'sterrifiesme. Butit isreallyhow me, I become sick.

Ilookthatbothersme most.Where theBB pelletstruckthereis Aftermonths of tortureat the school,my parentsdecide to

a glob ofwhitishscartissue,a hideouscataract,on my eye.Now send me back to our old community, to my old school.I live

when I stareat people—a favoritepastime, up to now—they with my grandparents and the teacher they board. But there

willstareback. Notat the “cute”littlegirl,but ather scar.Forsix isno room for Phoebe, my cat.By the time my grandparents

yearsIdo notstare atanyone,because|do notraisemy head. decidethereisroom, and Iaskformy cat,shecannotbe found. Miss Yarborough,the boardingteacher,takesme under her

Yearslater, in the throes of a mid-life crisis,|ask my mother and wing,and beginstoteachme toplaythepiano.But soon she

sisterwhether 1 changed afterthe “accident.”“No,”theysay, marriesan African—a “prince,”she says—and iswhisked away puzzled.“What do you mean?” to hiscontinent.

Whatdo Imean? At my old schoolthereisatleastone teacherwho loves

I am eight,and, forthe firsttime,doing poorlyin school, me. She isthe teacherwho “knew me beforeI was born”

where I have been somethingof a whiz sinceI was four.We and bought myfirst baby clothes.Itisshe who makes life

have justmoved to the placewhere the “accident”occurred. bearable.Itisher presencethatfinallyhelpsme turnon the

We do not know any of the people around us becausethis isa one child at the school who continually callsme “one-eyed

differentcounty.The onlytime1seethefriendsIknew iswhen bitch.”One day Isimplygrab him by hiscoatand beathim

we go back to our old church. The new schoolis the former untilIam satisfied.Itismy teacherwhotells me my mother

statepenitentiary.Itisa largestonebuilding,coldand drafty, isill. crammed to overflowingwith boisterous,ill-disciplinedchil-

dren.Onthe thirdfloor thereisa hugecircularimprintofsome My motheris lyinginbed inthemiddle of theday,something 25

partitionthathasbeen tornout. Ihaveneverseen.She isintoomuch paintospeak.She hasan

“What used tobe here?”Iaska sullengirlnexttome on our abscessinherear.Istandlookingdown onher, knowing thatif way pastitto lunch. she dies, I cannotlive. She is being treated with warm oilsand “The electricchair,”says she. hot bricksheldagainsther cheek.Finallya doctorcomes.But

At nightIhavenightmaresabouttheelectricchair,and about Imust go back tomy grandparents’house.The weeks passbut allthepeoplereputedly“fried”init.|am afraidoftheschool, 1am hardlyawareof it.AllIknow isthatmy mother mightdie, where allthestudentsseem tobe budding criminals. my fatherisnot sojolly,my brothersstillhave theirguns,and

“What'sthematterwithyour eye?”theyask,critically. 20 I am the one sent away from home.

When I don’tanswer (Icannot decidewhether itwas an “You did not change,” they say.

“accident” or not), they shove me, insiston a fight. Did Iimaginetheanguishofneverlookingup? a 40

35

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the

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Desert

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Would

596

ago:

madly,

become the five

The poem 598 ALICE WALKER BEAUTY 599

Walker makes deliberateuse of her age throughout the rollingup outof fatigue,not tomention floatingback atatten- . tioninexcitement(bearingwitness,a friendhascalledit),deeply essay as an organizing strategy,but to what end? Examine suitabletomy personality,and evencharacteristicofme. her use ofthis strategyand explainhow itrelatesto the subjectof identityas she exploresit here.Cite the textas That nightI dream I am dancingto StevieWonders song neededto supportand illustrateyour ideas. “Always”(thename ofthesongis really“As,”but I hearitas Develop an argument about what Walkeris sayingabout “Always”).As I dance,whirlingand joyous,happierthan I’ve childhoodexperiencesand how they shape our identityand ever been in mylife, another bright-faceddancer joinsme. We relationshipswith otherswhen weare adults.Includeinyour dance and kisseach otherand hold each otherthroughthe night. treatment a discussionofthose techniquesWalker uses to The otherdancerhas obviouslycome throughallright,as I persuade readers(and herself?)of thisposition. have done.She is beautiful,whole, and free.And sheis also me. Explainthe meaning ofthetitle based on what Walker says

inthe essay,especiallyatthe end. Be sureto clarityand support yourideas with detailsfrom the text. NAVIGATING THE WATERS: Reading Closely

1.How does Walker see and describeherselfup untilthe age of

eight(inparagraphs1-6)? Cite specificpassages forsupport. SHARING THE DISCOVERIES: Discussion and Writing 2. How doesher self-identitychange as she describesit it Inadditionto discussingher appearance before andafter paragraphs13-15? Cite thetextas needed to support your “the accident,” as she refers to it,Walker considers her response. appearanceand her ownfeelings aboutit atdifferent 3. When doesher identity change next, transforming her stagesof herlife.What do you thinkshe issayingabout our “almostimmediately...intoa differentperson from the girl relationshipwith and feelingstowards our appearance as we who would not raiseher head”? Describe the event andits age? What are your own thoughts about thisbased on your effecton her,citingthe textforsupport. experiences,those of people you know,or charactersyou 4. What causes Walkerto feel“happier than[she'd]ever been” have read aboutin novels? and see herself as “beautiful,whole, and free” by the end of Examineall the differentelements thatmake up our identity her essay? Describethe event andits effecton her,citingthe by firstmaking a listofthem all,then consideringwhich of textforsupport. these factorsmatter most to the world ingeneral,which are most importantto your ownidentity,and which apply to Walker based on what she writes. EXPLORING THE DEPTHS: Rhetorical Strategies and Structures Walker suggests we allowour identityto be determined or . mates, 1.How does Walker use the phrase “You did not change” defined by members of ourfamily, ourfriends, school

throughout the essay to examine heridentity andits spousesand partners,our children,and ourselves.Discuss

evolutioninher own mind and others’?Cite the textas thisideainher essay and asit appliesto one or more works needed to supportand illustrateyourideas. from thisuniton identity.