Im So Lazy 16 Sep 11
Total Page:16
File Type:pdf, Size:1020Kb
1 im so lazy 16 Sep 11 “I'm sexist!?! What about e-mail!?!” 16 Sep 11 Counted same hundred twice - ever see somebody get half happy? 16 Sep 11 “Here @ Ghetto matchmakr you'll find long lasting love - becuz these brothas won't let you go --- EVA!” 16 Sep 11 Women worry bout matchn undies - 4 men - if u’ve gotn down to my torn up draws - I'm either havn my clothes cut 2 get 2 the wounds - or Im in the hosp 16 Sep 11 The gd thing about hangn with nudist is - it always sounds as if they're your bigger fans 15 Sep 11 I am tyler durden's insatiable, unquinched ambitious thirst 15 Sep 11 u can categorize people by level of importance! - i love you facebook 15 Sep 11 You know how you can unintentionally really hurt someones feelings w/ the most innocent of comments?....I LOVE THAT 15 Sep 11 I don't know about u - but I still use the term "cookiepuss" 15 Sep 11 With how sensitive kids r today - if spidey was created now - would he have gone Ed Johnson Presents: Edisms 2 back to school after being bit & fkd kids like Flash Thompson up? 15 Sep 11 to palin on glen rice rumor - BOOM goes the dynamite & any hope of the presidency 15 Sep 11 wouldnt a Coco (Ice-T’s wife) wardrobe malfunction be that her clothes fell ON? 14 Sep 11 Joss Whedon to rename son “Scarlett Johansen jr” in gratitude 14 Sep 11 So Palin banged Glen Rice - I had her all wrong - she can stomach black guys - "pow pow pow" 14 Sep 11 yes ms. johansen - bc the FBI has nothing better to do than find out who stole the pic YOU TOOK of your own ass! 14 Sep 11 preview for “terra nova” claims “like nothing youve ever seen” - i guess their demo is no one who’s ever seen “land of the lost” or “jurassic park” 11 Sep 11 Netflix starting to stand for "nothing ever there" 11 Sep 11 Penny approved 11 Sep 11 Inspector Gadget finding second career lucrative w/ new line of sex toys 11 Sep 11 Movie surprised me w/ subtitles - didn't feel like being literate & stopped it. Rather put on some dumb shit - so we'd have somethg in common Ed Johnson Presents: Edisms 3 11 Sep 11 I don't want to remember but I'll never forget - 9/11 11 Sep 11 hate when i know someone ahead of me - then they turn & see me - so i wave - but then they stop - FUCK! 10 Sep 11 Arent news media outlets suppose to be NEUTRAL? 9 Sep 11 why cant i press charges against a pet - if a cat scratches me - i want the option to put him away or down - there should be a trial & shit - why did he scratch me? was it an unprovoked attack? pets get away w/ too much shit - like shitting anywhere - if i was in your house & shat on your counter - you'd never have me over again 9 sep 11 Soon as i figure out how to delete or unfriend you in real life - there’s gonna be a lot more room on the trains in the morning - to those that do nothing but have a neg comment for everything - waste less time hating what others attempt & make an effort to improve or create your own lane - with the time you waste judging - you couldve done somethg better - i dont mind critique - but when its ur m.o. - i start to think it may not be me 9 Sep 11 Parents - you're handling the punishments all wrong - next time the kid acts up threaten not to pay the light bill - fake it & pull fuses X-box addicts will lose their minds 9 Sep 11 Ed Johnson Presents: Edisms 4 Just took 7 min 43 sec to pack my groceries - another 4:32 as he had to swipe EACH of the 6 cans of tuna! 9 Sep 11 Hm w/o exploding - gd start to wkend 9 Sep 11 Watchn “odd couple” w/ mathau & lemmon - apparently mid-age men had really bad backs in 50s & 60s 8 Sep 11 in "40 yr old virgin" loved Seth Rogen - now if i hear his voice or see him on the street i'm going to rip his head out thru his urethra 8 Sep 11 Man it must be hard breakin up now days - u gotta tell her, u gotta block or unfriend her on all ur accts, limit access to shared friends easier to kill her..yeeeah... 8 Sep 11 Scooby doo announces he's going solo - when asked how the rest of the gang felt he's quoted as saying "Ruck 'em" 8 Sep 11 ‘Yo seriously - I hate that dude Vader - wanna try & choke somebody cuz we disagree bout religion - yo fuck Vader son fo real! Punkass sith” 8 Sep 11 Ever call somebody something & they look @ you like its new info? example - I was pushing this guy in a wheelchair out of my way & he said somethg rude to me so responded "fkn cripple" & he looked at me like he didnt know... what?...you think he’d be more aware Ed Johnson Presents: Edisms 5 8 sep 11 if you wake up everyday thinking TODAY you are gonna have buckets of shit force fed to you - when you get home at night & all thats happnd is u've lost ur keys, broke up with ur wife & twistd ur ankle -u can know that it couldve been MUCH WORSE 6 Sep 11 Possibly high but have idea where capt kirk is a pimp - spock the muscle & mccoy & uhura take care of the girls "STAR TRIK"..no? 6 Sep 11 Should I feel offended that the question I just asked answers.com was listed under misc? Who are they to judge me? FAQ my ass! 6 Sep 11 Let's hijack mtv and turn it into a concert, battle rap, interviews, studio session, tour following, Fkn MUSIC NETWORK! LET'S GOOOOO! 6 Sep 11 katz deli reuben baby! sex betwn 2 pieces of bread - & i know cuz i've actual- ...nevermind 5 Sep 11 starting my own new lang. - first word - “Assidactyl” - someone who talks out his ass about old shit 5 Sep 11 my vision of “prince of persia sands of time” reboot - a suicide bomber inspirational video narrated by deepak chopra 2 Sep 11 Live action “lil mermaid” reboot - 90 minute info-mercial about femine hygine 2 Sep 11 Live action “strawberry shortcake” - story of a diabetic hooker that uses her name as an ironic ice breaker 4 what she can't have! Ed Johnson Presents: Edisms 6 2 Sep 11 Closest we'd get to a Libyan like uprising is a “modern warfare” tournament where the prizes are with-held 1 Sep 11 SEPTEMBER Hey - assh*les that send shit like "u look funny in this vid of you" to me & i dont kno u - that's not creative mkting - that's just fkn creepy! 31 Aug 11 Don't you get that when trying to make a serious point if you misspel a word it jus makes you look stupid & ellemenates the point? 31 Aug 11 jay-z just picked up his 100th problem - to infinity & beyonce rumored prego 29 Aug 11 Was on hulu & was thinking how i could make some of those shows better - here we go - Shark Nanny, ugly samatha who?, 20/21 jump street, 8 simple rules to 30 days of night, 10 things i hate about being 16 & pregnant 29 Aug 11 I don't make the bootlegs I just watch em - my part is more or less shoeankling 28 Aug 11 b4 video - music was allowed to create your own vision in your mind - when you hear a song in a video you cant hear it & it isnt allowed to be your memory - bcuz theyve Ed Johnson Presents: Edisms 7 already made one for you 28 Aug 11 That same kind of fear mongering they did w/ weather reports weather yester - they do for people too - stop watching the news 28 Aug 11 Shout out to all the girls w/ low self esteem - thk u for all u do & r willing to do - (take that w/ a grain of salt - ur still wack) 25 Aug 11 ving rhames starring in "I'm going to take off my clothes, & play a profoundly deep gay character with lots of uncomfortable close ups” 24 Aug 11 Nick ashford of ashford & simpson has passed 23 Aug 11 Eddie murphy drops out of movie for lack of fat suit usage and character written with too much dignity 23 Aug 11 Joe pesci starring in "c'mon Marty, make another gomba movie already" 23 Aug 11 Cuba gooding jr starring in "can't trip into a gd movie since making an ass of myself for best 2nd guy in a flick" as the retard 23 Aug 11 Jennifer lopez starring in "no onscreen chemistry while taking latin women backward 50 yrs in movies" as the maid 23 Aug 11 "United damsel coalition" founded today by several Princess' from various fairy tales & video games seeking equal saving opportunity rights Ed Johnson Presents: Edisms 8 Quote “Why not if Link can-” (Shhh) What?” 22 Aug 11 thinking of dressing up as Donald Duck this halloween - hoping for a warm night - & expecting to do alot of standing 22 Aug 11 every box of tampons or the like should come w/ a bag of weed for men - then you can "have a happy period...always" 22 Aug 1 day all these tramp stamps will be on the backs of 70 yr olds - they'll need an archeologist to determine what they lookd like originally 18 Aug 11 Id appreciate it if men would refrain from "poking" me on facebook - i'm cyber- homophobic 17 Aug 11 ok - ok - just over heard couple of kids talking - one said "whats good about ice is that it's like 90% water"........we're done arent we? 17 Aug 11 so now same guy who came up w/ “Pretty Litttle Liars” is doing "the lying game" - has this guy only experienced dishonest, attractive, little, white girls? 17 Aug 11 Same way they call big fat guys tiny - can I call flat chested girl I know titties? 15 Aug 11 Am I the only one that thinks R.