El • Senior JUNE 9Th Oar Banquet

' COME ONE BUY YOUR COME ALL TICKET To The TO THE

Commencement , Sophomore •

Ball el • Senior JUNE 9th oar Banquet

Volume lii • HARTFORD, CONN., MAY 26, 1949 Number 31

Dangerous Quartet Levinson Lowered Into Ground Before Large Being Investigated Assembly: Tears Shed By Teachers, Too! The Un-Civilized Activities Com mittee of the United States' Senate has College Gives Former brought action against four Hillyer ln Short College personages. Harold O'D. Hun Editor Final Sendoff; ter, Norman Sigal, William Mayo, and Charles Booz-nazian, eminent con ductor of the Front-Street Symphony Soul Heads_ Toward Hell Ruth F. Axelrod, have been indicted ' as violating that part of the national Orchestra, will make his debut at Joe's Today, standing in the pouring rain, constitution which states that all per- Flop House on Sunday morning, as a twelve thousand people stood with . sons living in the United States must benefit for the Alan W. Silson bene bowed heads to watch the interment be human. Pleas of not guilty were fit fund. Mr. Booz-nazian and his of their own personal enemy, John E. immediately entered by all four of the "Men of Distinktion" Orchestra have Levinson. His widow, Barbara Lev suspects. _ made other appearances throughout inson was at the side of the grave the country, but this is his first Hart attired in a scarlet sarong and sing~ The case came to light after several ford appearance. He will conduct his . "H ' months of investigation in which it mg, appy Days Are Here Again " own compositions, "Wouldn't You accompanied by the Goldman Band. ' was established beyond the shadow of Rather Drink Four Roses?", and "The a doubt that the accused persons were Officiating at the ceremony were Shooting of Old Grandad." those well-known ecclesiastical fig the most inhuman things alive. The· * * * case brought against Hunter had its ures, Father Don Ryan, and Father It was reported incorrectly in last Kurt Weinberg, both of whom par basis on the convocation papers that week's Callboard that Alan S. Wilson the former Dean of Men made hap ticipated in a Be-Bop session, prior is the Hillyer custodian. The custodian to the burial clam-bake. At the cere less convo-absentees write-each to is Mr. White.. Mr. Wilson is one of the tune of 500 words each. mony, they also did a soft-shoe dance the janitors. to the tune of, "The Worms Crawl The second suspect arrested was * * * Norman Sigal, who is accused of man In, The Worms Crawl Out." Tom Walsh was seen at 'Charlie's An oil derrick was used to dig the handling the Student Council to the College To Be Torn Down After Examinations¡ last Saturday night by himself. Hav point where the Callboard actually grave, in order to insure the deceased Grounds Will House New International Zoo ing a cocktail with him was his dual a hastened journey in the direction felt sympathy for the legislative body. personality. The crime was depicted as shameless. Dean ln Complete Sympathy downstairs, and play nine records, * • • which his shameless soul is known thus helping the Administration to to have taken. As the casket was Third on the list of suspects is Joe Blume has returned to the lowered into the mile-deep grave, peo William Mayo, who somehow manages With Council's Plans: Slab defray the expenses of the machine. freshman class at Hillyer after study ple stood alongside and dropped re to be a curve-raiser, even though the Of Plaster Injures Parisi For Whom the Ceiling Fell ing a broad for six months. membrances such as sticks of dyna college does not use a curve. Teach Later, Robert Parisi took the floor The Student Council today voted ••• mite and old cigar butts onto the ers and students fear him, as the and presented the budget for the Class the sum of $10,000 to be used for the Larry Nizza's dog gave birth to a coffin, while Mrs. Elizabeth Lindsay sight of the aforesaid person strikes Night Dinner to be held next week. demolition of Hillyer College. Work litter of puppies last Wednesday in stood by and recited, "The Congo." terror into every fiber of their being. Mr. Parisi did not finish his speech, on the project by a local firm will be the front seat of Larry's Hudson. Funeral arrangements were undez However, the most dangerous of the though, because a large slab of plaster Mother and all six dogs are going fine gin immediately after final examina fell from the ceiling, hitting him the direction of Alan B. Rice, old group-which Gordon will quickly tions. The building, which stands be with the exception of the fifth one, friend of the deceased, who carried out substantiate-is Ruth F. Axelrod, bet squarely on the skull. who didn't quite make it. tween Wadsworth and Hudson Streets, He was carried from the room by Levinson's last wish-that his body be ter known as "Queen of the Dugout." will be remade into an international stuffed with old Callboards. Her crimes have resulted in several fellow-legislators Gordon Kilduff and zoo as an everlasting tribute to the National Guard Present deaths, as in the case of Harry the Carl Lindquist who report that Mr. students and teachers who played Signa-Phi Holds Annual There was one single group of hon Hawk, who couldn't stomach her, and Parisi continually muttered some school there for so long. est mourners at the grave side- therefore died of indigestion. "Queen thing about '"class rings" all the way Tea: Members Treated To The first department to be leveled to the hospital. Thomas Lavery, Norman Sigal, Bar ie," as she is known to her cohorts, is the President's Office, which will Informal Merriment bara Beaty, Gracie Kummel, and Ras stands the least chance of acquittal, As the meeting came to a close, be dynamited on June 5th. Vice-Presi The faculty lounge was the scene mussin Q. Petrol. In fact, the party according to her lawyer, John E. President Siga! requested that Rep. dent of the Student Council Donald Verne Brookes and Faculty Advisor of the annual tea held by Signa-Phi was so broken up, four of the mourn Levinson. H. Blake will light the first match Harold O'D. Hunter discontinue the Nothing sorority on Monday after ers bad to restrain Petrol, who was If convicted, the entire group will with President Norman Sigal officiat crap game they were conducting in a noon. I. Made Geraldfitz poured. !Miss gushing all over the place. be forced to live in each other's com ing. corner of the seminar room and get Geraldfitz was attired in a chiffon The National Guard was there un pany for a period of five minutes. When informed that his office was busy. Robert Lassow then proposed gown trailing down to her hips. The der the command of General James Said former Dean Hunter, "Good to be the target for the initial salvo, that the Council grant all feminine other members also wore chiffon Manupelli. Manupelli later explained Lord, I thought even the worst crim college President Alan S. Wilson re teachers of the now defunct college gowns but Miss Geraldfitz's was dis that it was standard operating pro- · inals were allowed to get the electric marked: an honorable pension of $100 per tinguished because it trailed. cedure for the 21 gun salute to be chair. Why make it worse for us?" "%$"&'l's**c!" week-if they be over 35 years of Miss Barbara Batty, sergeant-at fired at the casket. At the present writing, this state age, that is. Mr. Lassow's proposal, legs, entertained the group with a · Professor Doodabble X. Schmidt men has not been translated by Mr. however, fell through. So did Mr. Las rendition of "I'm Forever Blowing was at the funeral, and watched at the McGovern To Perform Kurt Weinberg, head of the language sow. It seems that the demolition Bubbles." She was accompanied by side of the grave as the body was department, although Mr. Weinberg squad came a bit early and had chop Miss Lillian Egadd at the piano, Miss dropped in, busily calculating with his Ancient Rope Trick claims that he has his suspicions as to ped the floor from under him. Sec Marion Anne Puddles at the violin slide rule, the exact time that the Lawrence McGovern, former presi its meaning. retary Ruth F. Axelrod, an eye-wit and Miss Grayce Come-On at the coffinwould hit the bottom. The casket dent of Newman Club, was found Dean Pascal Poe, however, when ness to the catastrophe, said that as garden gate. was three-tenths of a second late. guilty of murder today, as the jury told of the opening day's plans, was he fell through the floor, Mr. Lassow The members reported that Miss . Block Party all smiles and snorted: was bravely singing "Hillyer Forever" Come-On was favorably received, as Immediately following the cere quite clearly. Nevertheless, it was be was Miss Batty. A short business monies, came a block party, after "Wonderful; simply wonderful! r This is a move that I feel should lieved that the pension bill would nev meeting was held following the enter which the will was read. have been executed ages ago." er have carried anyway. As Rep. tainment: It was suggested by Miss "I John E. Levinson, being of sound 'I'he public is cordially invited to George Tudan barked: "It is extreme Egadd that the members dispense mind, and all that baloney, do hereby attend; Rep. John Wilks reports that ly doubtful if any woman in the build with their chiffon gowns, but this was relegate all my worldly possessions: a hot-dog roast will be held over the ing would admit to being thirty-five!!" not passed because the members felt to the following persons: burning ashes later in the afternoon. Another Gift each one of them that they had at To my wife, Barbara, I leave the You Can't Take It With You Peggy Suzuki's suggestion that tained freedom with the 19th amend most precious thing that ·I can think Miss Blanche Forance's suggestion members allot Rep. Marion Zirken ment and that was enough. of-the memory of me. - that a prize of $5000 be given to the bach the sum of $25,000 as a gradua No Treasury Report To Fred Vogel of the Callboard king and queen of the Commencement tion present was passed unanimously. There was no treasurer's report be Staff, I leave ten thousand T.S. slips, Ball was passed unanimously. Later, It was pointed out that this gift does cause the treasurer refused to give for the injuries that he sustained _,,' members found that the resolution not include the new Cadillac convert one. The secretary also refused. Miss while employed as a critic for the could not be enforced when they dis ible and twenty-room home given Miss Batty then refused to give the report Callboard. covered that Treasurer William Mayo Zirkenbach by the Council last week. of the Sergeant-at-legs, but none of To Norman Sigal, I leave the thou rendered a verdict in less than three had absconded with the Council's The last motion made by the mem the members cared about her legs sands of nasty "letters to the editor," minutes after leaving the court room. funds. James Manupelli was immedi bers was to vote as a body that the anyhow. The secretary then made which I never had the nerve to print. The trial is a close parallel to the ately appointed treasurer, and he in Callboard act as their go-between and up her mind to give her report but To the printers, I leave nothing but trial of John Walsh, infamous axe turn passed the hat among the repre give the student body the Council's this was voted down because the bitter hatred for the typographical slayer, who was hung several years sentatives present. The total of 47c best wishes for a happy and. prosper members had not liked the secretary's errors that I tried to i1ame on them, back. As a coincidental note, we was realized. Rep. John Keithline ous holiday. It would seem from previous motion, which was not re while all the time it was my lousy might add that Walsh was in some then suggested that John Prendergast present indications that this has been corded because the treasurer had no copy reading. (Continued on page 4.) take the money, go to the juke-box accomplished. · pencil. (Continued on page 2.)

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:2 HI LLYER . CALLBOARD •

HI LLYER CALLBOARD President's Corner LEGS ! LEGS ! LEGS Hillyer Lulus Begin Hillyer College, Hartford, Conn. By Walan S. Stillson, President The annual Girdle-Busting Contest Intra-mural Contests As the executive of this institution got under way this week with some We have word from the Zulu Pubrished Weekly by the Students of Hillyer College 24 contestants vying for honors in branch of Hillyer College, concerning • Subscription $1.50 per Year -and this is an institution-I wish to bring to your attention the dire im the hip-harness splitting marathon. their intramural head-hunting con- Application for Second Class Mailing Permit Pending . th t th· bl. , test. Although the season's results plications of the depleting birth up to the tmie a is pu ication . Advertising Rates Furnished on Application are not as yet complete, we give you rate in the United States today. First went to press, twenty of the contest-. the following information. Représentative: National Advertising Service, Inc. of all, we must consider the case of 420 MadisonAvenue, New York, N. Y. ants spread out in defeat, leaving Skulm the poor rabbit. · Consider the feel Batted ings of the poor quadrupeds · without only four contestants. Those left are Team Heads Losses In the thunder of little feet about the Hilda Hiptoss, Tosship Hilda, Toss Congo Management 48 25 146 hutch. This is one of the basic tenets Hildaship and Hilda Tosship. Liberal Witchcraft 25 48 146 of Hillyer College. Without Hillyer EDITORIAL STAFF MumboJumbo College,where would you be? ( Come Editor Accounting 37 36 146 to think of it, where would I be î ) Skull-Fracture John E. Levinson Getting back to the main point of Engineering 36 37 146 Photography this article, it is difficult to solve the Sports Secretary to Editor The members of the extension have problems of the world without the Robert Schultz John C. Bloomquist Alice Manama developed a new set of rules with interjection of the course of history. Kay Diamond regard to this sport. These rules ex This brings to light the case of the Art pressly forbid the use of the heads Russell J. Kone dinosaur, who at the moment seems of members of the same teams. Heads to have disappeared. After all, we Editorial Assistants must be properly shrunk, or only part see the case of thousands of former credit will be given. No contestant buggy whip makers who have been may, under any circumstances, take· THEO VOCETTA starving for the past twenty-five more than one . head from any one years. This we may blame on the victim. Disregard of this will be • automobile industry. This brings one deemed a direct violation of the rules, BUSINESS STAFF of the minor points of this issue to • and the offender will provide Sunday the fore-that being that even though Business Manager Advertising Manager dinner for the rest of the group-in the automobile replaced the horse, the Donald H. Blake I. Edward Webster the flesh. dinosaur will never replace Henry Ugga-Ugga-Boo-Philclark, coachof Ford. This we maintain. the team was quoted as saying, "We'll Hillyer College has been a college murder 'em." for the past two years. Despite this advantage that we have over compar able institutions, we cannot afford to LOCAL ST.UDENTS IN THIS IS NO JOKEll slacken our pace one bit. Therefore, FIRM DEALING IN I have made a proposal to the board of trustees-that is, our better be EQUINE PRODUCTS haved inmates-that we enlarge our Thomas Livery, one of the boys at institution by making branches of the the college who is constantly horsing, college. The first one that I have in around has jest announced that in mind will be opened on Pàrk Street, the future he will refrain from riding The girls have been bouncing, some of the students in the college. and will be called Charles' Branch, swinging, and shimmying for the last inasmuch as many of our students In the past, Mr. Livery has felt that thirty-six hours; but in the cases of it was his place to saddle college study there already. Until next week, the last four contestants, the old I remain, your lord and master. problems by doing his bit, but now blubber cases have held fast. he seeks greener pastures. In an interview with the remaining Livery and his fodder are going foursome-which remained in motion into the fertilizer business which al during the entire interview-it was ways pays off in the end. The name Hillyer Sweepstakes found that the secret of success of of the company that the Liverys are To Feature Profs ln the girls was in the fact that they buying will be changed to the V. had received considerable practice Zlingit Fertilizer, Manufacturing and Bushnell Park Meet while in the modern dance classes. Strewing Corp., is located in Terd Reporter Interviews ville, Conn. Said Livery, "My ambition is to Dean As Learned Mad The reporter swallowed hard again. settle down and raise a big stink." Drops Paper Bags "Why yes, if you say so, Dean." Levinson ... The reporter and Dean Poe sat atop "Now this sweepstake idea," the (Continued frÒm page l.) the roof of the college building, over Dean continued, still smacking his lips over the cigar, "Here's the way All the rest of my worldly belong hanging the physical education office, ings-including my yo-yo, I give to and began to drop paper bags of I got it figured. Instead of having horses. run, we get the profs. They're Don Ryan and Russ Kone, who I am water to the sidewalks. Thè Dean sure, will say belonged to them in seemed somewhat troubled whether much cheaper and besides, we won't have to insure them, and we won't the first place.'' to release the bags just to the left After the reading of the will was and ten feet in front of the students, have the expense of jockeys and hay completed, tens of thousands of bricks or whether to release the bags just to and all that. Most of 'em could stand were hurled at the grave by the per the right and fifteen feet to the to lose a little weight anyhow. Now, sons who had expected remuneration front. we'll line 'em all up down in Bushnell for the injuries that they had sus The reporter, however,explained to Park, you know, in different colored tained at the hand-or perhaps the the Dean that it really didn't matter, shorts, and we'll make sure all the that he should release the bags when weights are even by tying iron sacks pen-of the deceased. Exactly what had happened to the shares of stock he felt the time was right, and that on the skinny ones. It's gotta be fair Y?~,, '',;!' even though it was not a direct hit, you know. We'll line the park off at that Levinson had usurped from trust it would still scare the pants off the a fifty-yard distance. O! I can see ing friends and relatives remains a .. studen,ts-and that was the point of it now! We'll get the State to set up mystery. One of the more important the whole business. bleachers, and Joe can build some implications here is the fact that Lev After the Dean had thoroughly sort of a hotdog stand-get 'em go inson had control of the Amalgamated Hartford police have become some police was the constant stream of amused himself and had run out of ing and coming, you know. We oughta Lightning Company stock, ~and that what unnerved by the series of sui trucks from the local paper mills, bags and water, he and the reporter be able to charge about two dollars the company cannot now function. As \ cides which have taken place at Hill who were supplying countless rolls shimmied to the very top of the slate to see the thing. We can get Clem a result, rain has not fallen in a .J yer College during the past week. of paper to the . laboring students roof and then began to discuss col McCarthy to come down and broad thunderstorm for the past several Strangest of all, however, is the fact who fed their typewriters by the roll. lege conditions. cast it,-I mean, think of . the tre weeks. that all of the persons involved held Typewriter ribbons were of the ten The Dean pulled a large pencil mendous advertisement we'll get from Wakes Held slips of paper in their hands as they mile variety. One of the more finan from his watch pocket and a black it, let alone the dough. Oh yes! The Several wakes were held for the de hit the pavement, which all bore the cially secure members of the student cigar from his vest pocket and began dough. We'll tax the profs their ceased which from all implications legend, "You didn't attend convoca body had three direct lines to the to figure rapidly on a piece of Kleen salarie~s for the sweepstake money will continue to function for several tion. Therefore, write six typewritten local library, as well as ten secre ex. "You see," he told the reporter, they're getting too much anyway-so weeks. It was the suggestion of the pages for every word that was spok taries and a dictograph machine. One smacking his lips over the black everything we make at the gate will widow, that the body be stuffed so en at the aforesaid convocations." of the latest victims was seen by po be clear profit. And besides that Joe that the party might continue for an - cigar, "if we raise the tuition to two ' These were all signed in blood, prob lice to· leap to his feet, gnash his thousand dollars, with an assessment oughta be able to make a little on the indefinite time. The reason according ably belonging to the victims. teeth, foam at the mouth, scream, of five hundred for coming here, hotdogs. What d'yuh think? Great ~o the widow is, "Why break it up, · The police also found it most diffi "Thirty-thousand more to go!" and double the cost of the books with a idea, hah ? " it's so much frui. In fact if I .had cult to extract information from mem leap to his death on the sidewalk be rake-off to the college of course, and The reporter swallowed hard, again. known it was like this, I would have bers of the student body who all an low the window on the third floor. run this Hillyer Sweepstakes I've "Yeah, sure Dean, if you say so... By shot him long before I did." rswered queries with, "Go away. I One of the students who seemed to been planning, then we should have the way ... ah-who you gonna bet Following this, the crowd rushed have ten-hundred pages to go." There have finished his work loadedhis work sufficient money to buy a television on?" back to the cemetery and proceeded 'was one member of the body who was into a waiting ten-ton truck, and set for the dugout." "Bet! Bet!" The Dean gobbled. to fill the grave with concrete and old ·not busíly writing, and who wore a shouted, "Whee! I only missed one "Have you seen the profs in this lead pipe. A two-hundred foot monu l>uttòn which read, "I don't gotta convoi" Won't Insure college?" ment was erected over the spot, upon write. I go to all convos. I am deaf.'1 At the present time, the police re The reporter swallowed hard. "Just The reporter swallowed hard once which was a cherubic reproduction of Howéver, this person was of little main baffled. The one suspect is one ... one... set?" again. "Ah-yeah." Joseph H. Buckles, with the ínscrip help. of the deans, which of course is im "Why yes. Doesn't that seem "And you think they can make ,tion, "Behold the blind, leading the Another factor which hindered the possible. logical?" fifty yards ? " blind.'' '

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HILLYER CALLBOARD • • 3 Goodwin'Park Scene Of Scandinavian lullaby, tripped gaily up Food Will Be Served to the tee, and after finishing 360 Recent Golf Fiasco; pushups, prepared to drive the pellet ln Snack Bar Shortly THE DOORKNOB Next month, many of us will leave Says Alan, "Just Wait." (We're still Long Drives Featured into the spaceless empyrean ("Thank Dr. George Gallup and Elmo Roper Hillyer either for the summer or for waiting, but we're not holding our you, Dante and Mrs. Lindsay."). In have released the results of a recent good. We will all leave with pleasant breath!) Crowd Thrilled Stiff By true woodchopper style, "Randy" wal poll conducted at Hillyer College in memories. (Well, memories, at least.) Gordon Kilduff: One pair of track loped the first pitch with every ounce Hartford. The results indicate that a Agility Of Hillyer Golfers Now, the students are thanking the of power his anemic 145-pound frame large percentage of the students in shoes. She hasn't caught up yet! Threesome Plays To Finish faculty and vice-verse. Each cannot could command, The result was as the college eat-the rest of the stu Dolly Foranee: The boys in the bare to leave the other or see the (The writeup of the following wide usual: the ball dribbled weakly away dents use the Snack Bar. Anthony Bookstore. Oh, Mikie! AND one sea other leave. So, and here we get ly-publicized golf tournament was -only 10 feet beyond. A group of P. Stomachretch, manager of the local son ticket to the Hillyer Baseball and down to brass tax (Thank you, Har made available to the Callboard Psychology students from a nearby culinary Dachau, has announced that Basketball Games. sports staff through the gentle sug college at once broke into song, ren it might be possible in the near fu ry!), the following is a list of be Elaine Slutzkin: One white bathing quests from both the students and the suit. COMPLETE! . gestion of Mr. Willyum Farris, a dering the familiar "Siegfried Fu ture, to introduce food into the Snack Profs. disinterested barstander who main neral March," by Dickie Wagner. Bar, to accommodate those who Donald Hodgins, Ken Landry, Bill tains that the printing of the article Murmuring "Well, at least I try not patronize the establishment, so that WE THE FACULTY leave for a Fredericks, Red Donahue, Eugene was of no consequence to him.) to be maladjusted," Randy walked they too may eat. short vacation. (Too short.) Being Feehan, and Bill Dunne: 6 cases of It was the beginning of the climac away sobbing. In the suggested menu are such members of the grossly underpaid ptomaine poisoning! tic match between Messrs. Shutts, Then, as wave after wave of wild, sumptuous things as Potassium Cy teaching profession, we have few Bob Judd: 30 tickets for speeding. Randeberg and Farris (who disavows elated applause filled the tension anide Pie, and Lucretia Borgia sand assets but we hereby give the fol Says Bob, "I'm just a fast boy! Ha! Ha!" . all relation to the above character). packed atmosphere, the imposing fig wiches. The possibility of bringing a lowing items of our wealth to whom The sun shone brightly on the first ure of Battling Ben Farris marched commodity so rare as meat into the ever wants them: (Who are they Alice Green: Receipts for the above trying to kid?) tickets which I paid. tee at Goodwin Park, and the packed determinedly to the center of • the establishment at the present time is gallery, 33,000 strong, stood silently, stage for his try at the little white rather remote, unless one of the do Mr. Holmes: 13¥.! dissected frogs Bill Mayo: One worn-out ping pong shoulder to shoulder-in awe as they pellet. With quiet confidence in his mesticated animals in the neighbor ready for use; 16 worn-out razor ball! witnessed the approach of the famed tremendous, unsurpassed ability, Ben hood meets a vehicle-head on. blades AND his desk in Miss Fecher's Marilyn Quiltizsch: Umpteen post trio. Shutts, his powerful shoulders moved to the tee, and without any of office. ers which I have painted this year. stretching the seams of his well-tai the ostentatious display that had Mr. Buckles: One well-worn hat Donald Brooks: "You make me lored shirt, strode heavily up to the marked the previous feeble attempts and, "by the same token," a Press blush!" tee, his martial heels crunching the of his contemporaries, prepared to Card. Donald Blake: The Young Republi crisp, new grass into dust. With a swing. With a smooth, rhythmatic Mr. Sherman: A $500 royalty check can Club. (Who wants it?) sudden flash of the F.D.R.-like grin movement that would do credit to an (to anyone except Barb Beatty). Verne Brookes: The best seat in the that brought low moans from the eel in a pail of cream, Farris powered Mr. Farris: 5,187 Social Psychology Dugout. feminine group, Ken shüted his long the ball into the blue heavens-and Reading Reports and a dog-eared Bill Griswold: My chorus lï'ne! cigarette holder from the right side there our story ends. The little pellet edition of "How to Tell a Joke in 10 Shirley Hohn: "Leave me alone. of his mouth to the left, and pre was never recovered, Shutts refused Easy Lessons." I've got Fink!" pared to "powder the pill." After to play unless Farris found his ball, Mrs. Lindsay: Folders of data on Lillian Gadd: My seat at the Bush what seemed like hours, he swung Randy w~s still crying, and so Farris every girl in the school (including nell Concert Series. with grace and determination-Pow! won by default. However, for fur dating habits and phone numbers!) Al Rajune: My book entitled, "Tan Away sailed the pill - and slicing ther info on the next match, see the Mr. Weinberg: One pipe; one pair go Lessons in a Subway." sharply, it disappeared into a dense next issue. horn-rimmed glasses and his head Bob Simmons: E AZ. tangle of underbrush 300 yards off (On the slim shoulders of the re ache acquired from Mr. Howe. Bill Nelson: All my test papers to the right. With a savage string porter fall the heavy tasks of piling Mr. Balmer: One bottle of "Lark marked "Lovely!" (I think so, too, of curses, Shutts broke his wood over on a cart the three ancient carcasses spur Lotion" and a 700-page volume let's face it.) his caddy's head and strode angrily and wheel them to the nearest mas entitled "How to Do Much with Noth Anthony Humphrey: My jitterbug away. sage place. With examinations near ing" or "Talent Isn't All." steps. (Thank you, Tony. I've been The Norwegian giant, whistling a ing, the boys were neéded at school.) Mrs. Nazzaro: 600 stunning hats, wondering what they were.) with features, birds and all inciden Frank Bloomfield:Mr. Buckles' Ad , Hartford Highlights tals. vertising Class. Professor of the Weak Mr. Randeberg: A set of broken Having dispersed with the chief By Cholly Bockerknicker 'golf clubs. "I give up. This could turn items of our wealth, let's add: Notes Around Town: Mr. Joseph Our mentor on the protocol into an obsession. Anyway, we can't The Student Council leaves: And "Billy Rose" Morrone, one of Hart In matters biological ; win at everything." there's still hope for Hillyer! ford's most popular restauranteurs, in We render still the hand salute WE THE STUDENTS LEAVE: The members of the Creative Writ forms this department that the grand To Admiral William Holmes Ruth Axelrod: "All of Me." ing Class leave their autographs to opening of his latest venture, Jules In the midst of pedagogical Russ Kone: 60 blackboards, well Mr. Sherman who will some day be Restaurant, has been set for Saturday, Discussions of the logical decorated with my gruesome art. able to say, "I taught them all they May 28. The lavish shore spot is sit, He waxes allegorical Tom Lavery: My full repertoire of know:." uated in one of Connecticut's most In pointing out "the bones." threatening and nasty Letters to the Bette Askinas: One reserved table Editor. at the "Algier's." fashionable shore resorts, Sound View, "The Ascaris Lumbricoides," Grayce Kummel: 10-600 word es commonly referred to as the "Riviera He pontifically points out Last, but not least, "We, the Mod of Connecticut." The opening, Mr. says (or "I Cut Convocation.") ern Dance Class leave to Miss Fesch in defense of what is nothing but Alan Rice: One Dewey Button, Morrone informs us, promises to be a a worm er, all our broken bones, strained mus gala affair. Highlighting the conti "ls an elongated beast, cles and broken straps. We are glad nental-style cuisine will be gefillte fish But' securely dead, at least. Weineburg Caught that we are to be Hillyer's addition to the 'Rockettes'." and pasta fazula a la Morrone'. On Come and get one girls," he says ln Insertion Case 0hoping hand to entertain will be the Ballet in accents firm. I, the author, leave that I Russe, the entire cast of "South Pa Kulu Weineburg, master of foreign can run faster than you can! cific" and the United States Marine In paragraphs rhetorical objects, was apprehended early this Band. • For tickets and further de He harps upon the skeletel morning in the hold of 'the "Lily De Two Local Dancing tails consult Mr. Morrone at his offices And divers other organs of the beast France" as a stowaway. The "Lily De located at 66 Wadsworth Street.... On the disemboweled organs France" was scheduled to leave for Artists Join Ranks Local college students will note with Of the twice ill-fated beast. Le Chine at 10 p.m. this evening. Of Famous Rockettes interest the coming lecture, (the date He issues rusty razor-blades Hash Slinger Kulu was discovered by a crew mem Hartford, Connecticut, December 11, as yet unannounced) being presented For dainty co-ed hands Ken Laundry, chief swab in the ber in the cargo hold where the ani 1961-Elmer K. Droop, Manager of by the Hartford Chapter of the Amer Their autopsical meanderings, to kitchen is of the opinion that the mals are kept; he was disguised as a the world-famous Rockettes, announc ican Vultures for Culture, which will aid time ·has come for a revolution in the dachshund. Said the crew member, ed Tuesday that five new girls are be held at a well-known Trumbull And the laboratory echoes field of culinary arts, so that food can "What made me suspicious was the now under contract. Street assembly hall. The lecture, With the daintiest of cries be concentrated into little pills, which French beret and the unusual pipe he Two of the girls are natives of "American Culture and the Kinsey Hartford. They are Ruth F. Axel My ladies' debt to science has been will be sold by the jar. Said Laundry, was smoking." Upon .further ques Report," Will be followed by a debate paid. "When you hit the bottle from now tioning the crew member, Pas O'Poe, staff of Killduff Street, Hartford and on the subject "Are Comic Books Re on, you're just having lunch." stated, "lt was quite hard to tell the Karyl Klonoskate of Lassow Place, placing the 'One Hundred Great Oh! the twice ill-fated worm difference. You see, his nose had been Manchester. Miss Klonoskate is Books'?" Representing Hillyer Col Once so fully packed and firm painted brown." formerly of Siegel Avenue, Hartford. lege will be Vultures Carlos Boor And. so very, very squishy on the 111 Kulu has for some time been under Extensive Background nazian and Lawrence Makepeace Mc floor Have Returned!'', the close supervision of the P.F.O. Both girls have had extensive terp Govern. Where the ladies often drop them Claims Hillyer's into D.0. (Prevention of Foreign Ob sichorean and dramatic training. Miss Disc Data Near the ancient rubbish basket jects into Domestic Ones), and it is Axelstaff studied dramatics for three • Local record collectors were further In their rush to be the first one out Biggest Mouthpiece believed that he was manufacturing years under John Tereserias Balmer, infuriated this week when two record the door. Grosslin S. Frank, Program Director Knockwurst and placing it on the noted authority on Central Staging companies announced that th~y will Now don't forget tomorrow, warns the of Station WPA in East Podunk, Up market as "Good Old American and head of The Mask and Jug Ama soon introduce new speed discs on the doctor very gaily per Rhodesia, has written to tell us Baloney." Kulu refused to comment; teur group in Hartford. For five years, market. Golden Bantam Records will But the co-ed softly answers, that the natives there-Ubangis the only phrase he uttered was, "You Miss Axelstaff worked under the di put out a 50 RPM disc and Vox Popu NEVERMORE. have taken to calling him, "Grosslin talk, I'm all ears." As he was es rection of Muriel Arabesque Fisher lus Records a 20 RPM. This means the Lip," because of his proficiency in corted off the gangplank and his feet at The Hillyer Schoolof Dramatic and that two additional attachments to tricate mechanism, intended for home matters verbal. touched American soil, a far-away Other Arts. Miss Fisher's latest book, -conventional phonographs will be nec- use only, is equipped with a juicer, In telling us of the nature of his look came into his eyes; he began "First Aid to Broken Bones" is now -essary, bringing the total to four! meat and coffee grinder and built-in program, Mr. Frank mentioned a disc quoting Ezra Pound: a bestseller and a practical guide to Encouraging news, however, comes pressure cooker. An interesting inno jockey show that he has produced Oh!to be in France ' all types of dancing. , · :from the Pandemonium Phonograph vation (and a very welcome one!) in called The· Ugga-Ugga-Boo-Ugga Nowthat Hitler's out, Klonoskate Wel-~chooled Company which plans to manufacture cluded in the new phonograph is the. Bo0-Boo-Ugga 890 Club, which has Now that there's room for doubt, Miss Klonoskate who also studied an all-speed machine that will play "Mechanical Critic," a sensitive ham as its theme song, "I've Got You Un And the don's may save the nation. dancing with Miss Fisher at The records of any size, shape or color, at mer which automatically smashes to der My Skin," or, "Pass the Bicarb, When told that he was to be con- Hillyer School, received broad train any speed from zero to infinity. De bits all hill-billy tunes and such items Daddy, Mother Didn't Taste So Hot." fined until trial at the Gardens of ing in Dramatics and Elocution from signed by the noted Brooklyn music of corn as "Powder Your Face With Said Mr. Frank, "This Marks My Epicuris, Kulu replied, "Gentlemen, I Carnal Narow, Instructor in Literary ologist Dr. Alexei Nastrovia, the in- Sunshine" and "Candy Kisses." Return to Radio. I Have Returned!" am not a disciple of Rousseau." Interpretation at the Hillyer School. , )

•

HILLYER CALLBOARD 4 • Can You Imagine-?!? Fighting •••• • Snack Bar Alters Its Policy; Sandwiches Will (Continued from page 6.) Contain Food High ln Vitamin Content in Future By The Hillyer Bard only lasted one quarter, was re the dishwashing department working Can you imagine, in a moment most moved to Hartford Hospital for post More Talk About Downstairs out?" we asked. rash, mortem treatment at half-time. The Cafeteria; Management two lads, after leering significantly at I "Well, men, we have arrived at a Mr. Sherman winning a 100-yard each other, winked broadly to a trio Scorns Use of Regular Fare new high peak of efficiency, Joe re- dash! of rough-looking characters who sat (After much preliminary dickering marked, flicking a large-sized ameoba Or can you picture, in some faraway in the front row of seats and fondled with high administrative officials, an off a pot of coffee. "You see, we have nook, suspicious bulges in their right-hand agreement was finally arranged eliminated the dish-washing process Mrs. Lindsay engrossed in a comic coat pockets. (Flash! It is rumored whereby two Callboard reporters to some extent." (We instantly un book! that Meyers and Feehan recently would be allowed to penetrate the derstood the subtle innuendo in his purchased new Cadillacs designed to mist of secrecy and superstition sur statement when we spied Don Lod It's ridiculous I'll grant, but can you match the color of their cream-yellow rounding the Hillyer Snack Bar. An gin's hustling from the refuse window see, Buick convertibles.) interview was granted to a duo of over to the coffee counter out front Doctor Schempp approving of mon Baker and Pilon were, as they both quaking scribes by His Majesty, Joe with another armful of cups that had opoly! expressed it, "mildly colossal." Their Can-or-melon, the Most Potent Pro- just come in from the dining hall. Now let your fancy go wild and run collection of weird shots completely Freak of the Week curator of Poisonous Potables, as he "lt saves sugar, too," Joe added with free, baffled their opponents, andafter the , is otherwise termed. The results of a fiendish smile playing diabolically about his lips. And picture Kurt Weinberg as a fray, both were offered contracts by One of the most beautiful females the interview follow:) "hep" disc-jockey! the Phillips "Oilers"-to oil roads. to grace the halls of Hillyer is Doro- Joe greeted us with the gay, dis Ptomaine Gulch Addicts "Rit" Cueroni and Pete Zerío re thy Dogface. We saved her for the arming smile that has lured many a We directed more queries at the To continue these musings, these im ceived bills from the Hillyer Athletic last issue because we are sure you fair young damsel to her doom-that king of the ulcer factory concerning, possible flashes, Office,which demanded that they pay will agree she deserves a place of is to say, the purchase of another the new ingredients which were be for the backboards which they bent so ing added to the coffee ( ? ) by the Picture Bennett and Hunter-without distinction in the series of "Student piece of Bahston cream cake. "Well, badly with their one hand shots. Mut "night crewmen," who are-in the their mustaches! of the Week." men, what can I do you for?-er, I tered Coast Guardsman Cueroni, Name: Dorothy Dogface.Born: yes, mean, what do you want to know that order of their serial numbers, I. M. Now can you imagine, (Oh! vision "Wait'll I tell Sid Vaughn about this." Spoonsville,Ct. Lived there: 44 years. I'm allowedto tell you?" Dunne, Alwayseatin' Feehan, Milk most rude!) Zerio said nothing except "I don't High School: No. Her parents We promptly bombarded him with shake-Consumer Frederick and Quail Miss Grady playing be-bop- not a care, I still got that back road out thought she should lead a sheltered eager queries concerning the new lover LaFrenÍere. This quartet, known Chopin Etude! side of Meriden if things ·get tight." lüe and thereforê engaged a private cuisine that was to be forced on the in Hillyer circles as "Fluff-off, Inc.," Big Bob Nelson and Gene White tutor for her. A "fewyears later the public within a short time. Slipping all members of local Loafers 107,has For this mental picture, your whimsy added two more notches as they pol tutor went stark, raving mad. Extra- us a few Choco Pops as hush-gnoney, concocteda• potent slug o' mud which bestir, ished off another pair of umpires who curricular Actívìtíesr- Men, Anatomy Joe confided in an awed tone that has the energy and effect of an axe Milton Smith not being a "Vulture had dared to rule against them. Said Men. Art, Men. Sports: football, henceforth meat would be used in the blow on the head. At the request of for Culture!" Bob, "It was easy. I made believe checkers, and men. Dot once played steak, hot dog and hamburg sand several of the young ladies, a bit of And, oh yes, there's J.B., our polished the ref's head was a basketball and tackle for the Spoonsvjlle Bulldogs. wiches. Similarly, the milk would be nationalistic flavoring was added John Balmer, just bounced it off the wall. Haw, Travel: Has been through the mill, purchased from some local source something called "Scotch," we believe. Haw." · Added Gene, "I just ran into Imagine him in overalls, in the role and to Outer Strombovia. Hobbies: rather than from some "udder" place, After further probing, we discovered him with my stomach, and he col that some of the lesser-known flavors of a farmer! Reading the Kinsey Report and men. thus avoiding such a long pull by the lapsed like he'd been hit with a full Nickname: Nature Girl. Plans for farmers. "And," Joe added, "in order now being used are strychnine, ar barrel of beer." (Well?) senic and refined sulphur. Imall You'll shout I'm insane, but I ask the future: Pursuance of men. to refute those claims that we even Ross Breaks Record-Buys New One Comments and Ideas: Dot believes dilute the water here, I want to state Dunne informed us that a stomach you to try, • • Mitch Ross got two hoops while that one of the most serious problems further that from now on we will no pump and several hfe-savers are kept To picture Joe Buckles in a jazzy bow looking for his girl in the crowd. As confronting students today is that of longer just drag a dead hen through in constant readiness for any emer tie! he explained later, "I wasn't watching Sex. She believes that free love is the chicken soup. As a part of our gency-and after tasting the 'wonder Or can you envision those two sea the game and someone threw me the the solution. new policy, we inte~d to leave the hen ful stuff, we knew why. faring Sirs, ball at half-court. I kept my eyes in the pot of water for a longer per The clown prince of Ptomaine Bill Holmes and Ken Shutts-as on the crowd and tried to pass back.' iod . . . Ah-h yes," he reminisced, Gulch wound up the interview by Army recruiters! The next thing L knew, I had four "Pretty soon our soup will be almost offering us a couple of "yesterday's" points." Problem of Night And like the stuff mother used to bathe sandwiches to take home to our bam Now can you imagine as a Centerfield Pot pourri: A rabid fan (from Bris Day Taken Up By Prez in-er, that is, used to make in the binos. We each lost three front teeth Dodger, tol) who went into a frenzy during During. Recent Confab old days." and cracked a jawbone on them be That fanatic sports fiend, Mister the game was finally restrained for Melting Horseshoes fore Joe tipped us off. "Oh, boys, I Frank Barber! cibly and hauled away to Joe Carta's Alan S. Wilson, president of Hill A cloud of oily blue smoke billow forgot to tell you, those are the ones And this can you picture, (still an summer home on the hill in Middle yer College, revealed to the Hillyer ing out of the sandwich department made in 1942-sorry we haven't got other absurdity!) town by two burly State Hospital at Board of Trustees on Monday night (in the capable hands of Ken Laundry anything newer." With a much clear Mrs. Nazzaro telling someone to be tendants. This fanatic individual, in the boiler room that the college and Dill ("the man with the pickle") er understanding of what went on, come a "slave of the city!" known in local circles as "Gordon J." holds classes both during the .day and Donahue caught our eye, and we we mumbled "Thanks," around our or "Captain Jim," was heard, to mut during the night. questioned Giuseppi anxiously. Again mouthful of broken teeth and wan * * * ter as he was being removed, "Like "This," he said, "is an astounding turning on the charm and the tooth dered away. I predicted, the boys woÙldwin sixty fact which must be driven home to ful 'smile, Joe laughed weakly, and, Postscript per cent ~f their games . . . I'm the each and every one of you. The rela muttering curses at the stupidity of greatest predicter in the world ... " tionship between night and day is the help, said, "My, boys are whipping I know there are many whom, in my such that we can no longer avoid the _up a new type of bacon sandwich- ~ PLIMPTON'S tome, are not cast; foreign entanglements which came I guess they're melting down the STATIO NERS since 1863 To those I've omitted: your forgive- •.....- ...... --...... ,.,.----r""~~----, about when Russia first overthrew the horseshoes now." ness I ask. ·• chains of capitalism after the stock With an involuntary shudder, we This I'll say to save face: -~-- .,_ ·'!! • -::-' market crash in 1929. This day and decided to ramble on to other fields. OFFICE OUTFITTERS "Conforrnìng to space night problem," he continued, "has "By the way, Your Majesty, how is Is sometimes an embarrassing task!" grown to such proportion that we are now forced to keep the electric lights • òn in the college until as late as men and ladies, too, then the entire 142 TRUMBULL STREET twelve each night. We are also forced world will lose hope. The eyes of the Telephone Hartford 2-2291 Society Goes Serious to employ instructors for the· night eastern world are focused on us, here • classes, although I might add that we in this boiler room. So we must keep West Hartford 32-2747 Within the past several weeks, the are working toward a system 'W!ere the lights on." following notìces of nuptial entangle Mr. Wilson went on to point out by the day instructors will not work \ ment have appeared in the Hartford later than noon, so that the evening that the juice for the lights is sup PAT'S I papers: students will not be deprived of their plied by the Hartford Electric Light The wedding of Miss Patricia Mary one o'clock classes. Company and that this arrangement ATLANTIC SERVICE Gleave, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. "This is our problem, gentlemen: is made possible by the poles outside Hudson and Buckingham Sh. Arnold Gleave of Cedar Street, to the problem of day and night. Now, the school. Mr. Harold A. Nelson, son of Mrs. I don't mean to imply that night is In concluding,he said, "Now is the All Hillyer Students Martha T. Sherman of Newport, R.I., any different from day, nor that day hour." I0°/0 Discount on Auto Parts took place Saturday at Trinity Epis is any different from night. It is And Accessories copal Church. Rev. H. Lawrence merely that we must keep the electric Traffic Cop: "Use your noodle, 2c Per Gallon on Gas Whittemore, Jr.1 officiated. The bride lights on for the evening students. is a graduate of Hartford Public High lady! Use your noodle!" College ldentifìcation Must Be Shown For if we turn the lights out, gentle- School, and is attending Hillyer Col Lady Motorist: "My goodness! Cars Serviced While You're ln Clau ' lege. Mr. Nelson is a graduate of Where is it? I've pushed and pulled Rogers High Schoel in Newport, R.I., everything in the car." Open 'Til I I P. M. and Hillyer College. He served two years in the Coast Guard. McGovern ••• The marriage of Miss Faye Lenor (Continued from page 1.) HOME AND AUTO RJADIO REPAIRING Aldrich, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. A SPECIALTY W. Orin Aldrich of Farmington Ave way connected with McGovern. nue, and Mr. Stanley Miller Arnold, The McGovern case came to light son of Mr. and Mrs. E. Holden Arnold five weeks ago, when the police de We ,ca.rry a large supply of tubes and batteries. of Clüton Avenue, West Hartford, partment received an anonymous tele took place Saturday afternoon· at 4 phone call, to the effect that an in ACME RADIO SERVICE o'clock in First Church of Christ, spiration had been stifled at Hillyer Congregational, West Hartford. Mrs. College. 'J'he police rushed to the col 91 Park Street Telephone 6-2344 Arnold attended Hathaway Edge lege, and found some of-the students wood Park School, Briarcliff, N.Y., were administering artificial respira and the · American Academy of Hillyer Student Walking to Cow tion. Thé coroner announced the in SALES SERVICE - REPAIRS Dramatics, New York. Culture IOSA! ! Tell Me Anudder. spiration dead upon arrival.

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HILLYER CALLBOARD 5

Cousins Will Address Student Council Meets Newman Club Holds Hillyer1s June Grads - Passes Constitution Communion Breakfast MASTER On Re-Education Theme Of Gamma Sigma Nu On Sunday, May 22, the Newman · By Lawrence C. Nizza Club of Hillyer College held a Com Noted Editor And Author The last official meeting of the munion Breakfast at Brown's Restau PROFESSIONAL Is Commencement Speaker Student Council was held on Friday, rant, corner of Farmington Avenue For Bushnell Ceremonies May 20. It was one of the outstand and Sigourney Street, Hartford. ing sessions of the year in the fact Approximately 30 Hillyer students Norman Cousins, distinguished edi PHOTOGRAPHY that everyone was present and a attended the breakfast which began tor of "The Saturday Review of Lit at 9 a.m., immediately following the erature" will speak on the topic "Ad large amount of business was accom plished. 8 o'clock Mass at St. Joseph's Cathe ventures in Re-education," at Hill . creates The first matter to be taken up was dral, Farmington Avenue, Hartford. yer's commencement exercises, to be the selection of nominees for Student Mrs. Elizabeth C. Lindsay, Dean of held at Horace Bushnell Memorial Council held last week, May ·20.. It Women,and James J. Sullivan, Chair Hall, Sunday, Juné 12, at 3 :30 p.m. was decided that these nominations man of Department of Accounting Mr. Cousins, who lately was ap were not valid because the nominees and Faculty Advisor for the Newman pointed by Governor Bowles to head .were not selected from every depart Club,were also present . the commission investigating the ment as prescribed in the constitution May I. Fitzgerald was chairman of entire field of higher education in the of the Student Council. The consti the Breakfast. state of Connecticut, is well known tution states that so many nominees as the former literary editor of "Cur • Finest Quality from every department such as: The Harvey & Lewis rent History." Liberal Arts, Engineering, Business • Low Prices Mr. Cousins, a native of Elmira, Student of the Week Administration, etc., must be placed New York and a graduate of Teach- • Variety of Proofs ers College,Columbia University, has Al's wêll on his way to wearing a on the ballot for elections. . earned a distinguished place in the trenchcoat, and an old bashed in hat, The next issue to come up was the • No Appointment presentation of the Hillyer ChessClub G field of letters as an editor and with a press card sticking out of the 852 MAIN STREET Necessary author. hat and the nicotine stains creeping constitution by its president Max Immediately after his graduation up his forefinger. Even if he doesn't, Mayhew; the constitution was voted from Teachers College in 1933, Mr. he'll still be a reporter. upon and unanimously passed by all FOR YOUR • Cousins became an educational writer He was born in Hartford and has the members. Following this, the of the "New York Post." He remain- hung his hat here except for the time constitution of the Gamma Sigma Nu SUMMER EVENINGS ed there until 1935,at which time he from the spring of 1943to 1946which (Liberal Arts Honorary Fraternity of became first, literary editor and later were his army years. He served as Hillyer College) came up before the LORING managing editor of the "Current His- a platoon sergeant in the Third Council for the third time; it had not Dancing Nightly \·O_STUDIC»-S} tory" magazine. • Army, seeing action in the European been acted upon during the previous In 1940 Mr. Cousins resigned his Theater of war. He holds the Bronze times because of a shortage of Coun position with the "Current History" Star Medal, Presidential Unit Cita cil members to establish a working on 86 PRA TT STREET magazine, in order to become an ex- tion, and European Theater ribbon quorum. After a heated debate con cerning the constitution, the main Phone 7-8131 ecutive editor of the "Saturday Re- with two battle participation stars. New England's view of Literature." In 1942 he was He also found time to write for the issue of which was the fact that the promoted to the position of Editor of "Stars and Stripes," the army service by-laws of said constitution restricts the membership to male students, the the same magazine and has remained paper. . Danciest in this capacity ever since. Al came to Hillyer from Weaver Student Council voted. It was a tie As an author Mr. Cousinswrote the in September, 1942 on a Journalism vote, but President Sigal exercised Dance books, "The Good Inheritance," and scholarship. He received his asso his power to cast his affirmative vote, ~learanee "The Democratic Chance" in 1942. ciate degree in Business Administra and thus the constitution was passed He also has edited the book, "A tion, and spent his junior year at by a close margin of one. Floor Treasury of Democracy," 1941, and UConn. Now a Hillyer senior, he Sale with the assistance of Mr. William will get his B.S. this June. Medical Secs Meet and To the Rose Benet, the book "An Anthology Prior to his army stint, he did Hold Elections MAY 31 to JUNE 3 of the Poetry of Liberty," 1943. ' dramatic work with Guy Hedlund At the monthly meeting of the Lilting Music of ,Mr. Cousins, who in 1943-1945 was Players on WTIC and wrote feature medical secretarila sorority May 4, with the overseas bureau office of stories for the "Connecticut Circle 1949held at the College the following Hartford1s Finest • Jewelry: War Information, as chairman of the Magazine." election of officerstook place. For the editorial board, has in the past served Al's now a news writer for the Active Chapter the following: Presi Dance Band as a consultant on international rela- Courant. He feels Hillyer's growing dent, Geraldine F. Shea; Vice Presi tions for American Broadcasting and will continue to do so until it dent, Betty L. Fleischer; Treasurer, Company, and was also appointed as ranks in stature with America's top Beverly J. Faulds; Sergeant of Arms, a publishing consultant and Editor universities. Doris J. Dzialo; Recorder, Elaine Landerman Brothers of the "U.S.A." ======Today Mr. Cousinsfinds ample time as a trustee of Briarcliff College, a Slutzkin; Historian, Janet N. Wyka; member of the board of directors of Corresponding Secretary, Joan C. Kra to participate, in other activities- the Freedom House, Willkie Founda- witz; and Keeper of the Ritual, Jennie tion, Moderator of Norwalk, Con Vincenzo. • FINE SPORTS EQUIPMENT necticut, Town Hall Association, a For the Alumnae Chapter: Presi member of Public Education Associa dent, Olga Kindl; Vice President, Bet No Co:ver or Minimum tion (College Council), Council on ty Borichewsky; Treasurer Mildred Alling Rubber Co. . ' Foreign Relations of PEA. He also Schultz; Sergeant of Arms, Helen at ANY Time 167 ASYLUM STREET is an active member of the National Stuart; Recorder, Phyllis L. Gordon; Press Club. Historian, Emily Jesionka; Keeper of the Ritual, Peggy Suzuki; Corres • ponding Secretary, Shirley A. Hohn.

Chairman Extends Thanks The June Dance Committee an l-IOTE:L • Pillows nounced this week that the King and Queen will have two attendants each • Pennants at the CommencementBall. Names are to be announced at the dance. BOND • Popular Name Pens Blanche Foranee, chairman, sends her thanks by way of the Callboard WILLARD B. ROGERS and Pencils to all committee members, for the work given by them. President and General Manager Heading for Washington Diner • Stationery: (

"A HEARTY MESSAGE'' Orchids to you, the Class of '49 i~~ • ~\t.i; :t,~G~ GRADUATES OF '49: May you have continued success in making your coi. The management of Washington Diner congratu career as you have had as college students.

\,, lates you and extends its hearty wishes for suc Remember The Commencement Ball - cessful careers. 'Moments like this are treasured +hrouqhou+ life. A farewell banquet-party will on June 9fh crystallize these moments. ln later life, class re Give her an exquisite, exclusively designed corsage union and dinners help to bind closer the friend- or an orchid

ships which began at school.· ~ \ "PLAN YOUR OCCASION" Ö'leÁút FLORIST at 287 MAIN ST. 1181 MAIN ST. 175 Washington Street Hartford, Conn. Tel. 2-1425 Tel. 7-6421 .JHE BOOKSTORE

• ., 6 . HI LLYER CALL BOARD Popcorn Heiress Weds; "Fighting Hawks'' New Teaching System Au Revoir, Kurt! Father Says "Hooray" To Be Inaugurated; A farewell banquet was held in White snapdragons, palms, Easter Routs Hysteria H. S. Yoga Powers Extended honor of Kurt Weinberg, Hillyer in lilies and eggplants formed the back ln Season's Finale Dr. Edward Schlernpp, instructor in structor, who is retiring to a Tibet ground Monday afternoon for the Yoga and Occult Science,a freshman Monastery so that he may devote the wedding of Miss Ruth F. Axelrut, Rabid Fan Carted Away To requirement in Hillyer College, has rest of his lüe to the study and com daughter of the Moon, and Mr. A. Carta's Summer Home; Many announced that from now on his position of be-bop music. Said Mr. Weinberg, "The only way I know that Tom Bomb of Oakridge, Tenn. The New _Scoring Records Broken clas~es will be conducted in a coop 3 p. m. ceremony took place in the erative anti-capitalist fashion in much I can do somethirlg that will further Sparked by high-tallying Fred Ward women's lounge with the Rev. Edward the same way that Dr. Drew-Wolf the endeavors of mankind-and I love and Lew Mazur, Hillyer's torrid total S. Hipkiss officiating,assisted by the conducts his classes in similar sub mankind-is for me to delve into this ers, the "Fighting Hawks" basketball jects. Said Schlempp, "Monopoly on worthwhile study." · Rev. S. Edward Kisship. crew swept to a commanding 54-53 Yoga teaching has been in the hands Presented in marriage by the rout of Hysteria JunctìonHígh School of the few for too long a time. Moon, the bride was attired in a last night in the feature event of the We are proud to supply Through cooperative enterprise in this square neckline which extended into f" locals' season. In the prelim, the Hill MOTHERS BUTTERCRUST PIES field, I hope to extend to every work a full circular sweeping train. Her yer Junior Varsity, led by a pair of Exclusively To fingertip veil of imported delusion F":· ing man the powers of Yoga." mountainous forwards, bruisin' Vern The Hillyer Snack Bar fell from a tiara of matching pro- l. Baker and cruisin' "Chick" Pilon, tusion. t romped to a new scoring record by The Conn. Pie Baking Co. Dead and live fish decorated the decisively flooring the Yale first home of the bride's parents for the stringers, 19-8. reception which followed the cere The bridegroom's mother was gowned The evening's main event witnessed Congratulations ! ! mony. Mrs. Moon received in a lace in a light pink flowered hat and a one of the most amazing exhibitions We wish to extend our con yoke and sleeves, a pink floweredhat matching corsage of ragweed. For a of foul shooting ever seen in the and a dark pink corsage of herring. gratulations to the graduating trip to Poconos, Pa., the bride wore Wadsworth Street arena. Big Fred Class of '49 at Hillyer. lt has brown accessories. ("It was nothing") Ward, whose un- been a pleasure to serve you. The bride is a senior at Hillyer usual one hand technique has won him We wish you every success on HO NISS College and a night student at St. world-wide plaudits and millions of the road of life upon which you QUALITY FISH and SEA FOOD Mary's Training Home. Mr. Bomb is fanatic phans, rent the cords on 27 are now beginning your travels. Visit Our Famous Restaurant a graduate of Oakridge Conservatory of his 28 free throws. (The twenty 22 STATE ST. HARTFORD in Tennessee and saw action over Na- eighth attempt was ruined when some Reservations for Leagues Accepted Known from Coast to Coast gasaki during this past war. moronic official opened a window r------. and· the resultant draft blew Ward's try away as the immense crowd Washington groaned in unison.) Ward's total of WELCOME ONE AND ALL 29 points was completedwhen he sift Recreation Center ed through the five-inanline that Hys WASHINGTON ST. NEAR PARK "Ray will play your favorite songs." teria High had set up defensively for a brilliantly-executed layup. Tel. 6-5566 Ample ·Free Parking O'Brien Assaulted By Hoodlums CHARLES RESTAURANT Mazur's accumulation of 17 was r------~------... garnered mostly on set-shots inside PARK S'JiREET HARTFORD, CONN. the bucket. Also appearing in the HILLYER MEN Hawk lineup (for short periods only) were "Whirling Dervish" Lichatz, IF fOU WANT PROFESSIONAL HAIRCUTS "LEGAL BEVERAGES SERVED" who canned a sensational pair of WITH QUICK, COURTEOUS SERVICE counters from his position five feet in the air above half court, and Grunt It's The ing Bill ("I'm in labor") Manierre, who finally collected a tap-in after Y.M.C.A. BARBER SHOP BEST OF LUCK IN THE EXAMS! a full dozen tries. Hillyer's catlike forwards, Willie ("Itchy Fingers") "THE COOLEST SPOT IN TOWN ON HOT SUMMER DAYS" HAY~ AN ENJOYABLE VACATION Oleksinski and Jim Murphy, were so 315 ~EARL ST. TEL. 2-4291 intent on stealing the ball from the Hysteria guards that they were fi- r======::! WE1LL SEE YOU NEXT FALL nally arrested by Referee Jack O'Brien for larceny. O'Brien claimed that CONGRATULATIONS the Manchester pair had snatched his whistle, his pair of pants," his "ref To you graduates and to those of HILLYER SNACK BAR fing" shirt, his shor-(Censored by the Hays-Lindsay Office). you who have successfully completed Playmakers "Woody" Woodhouse, . another year at HILLYER Clüf Pinney and Mike ("When my head goes down, it means I'm gonna • Compliments to shoot") Lynch were so busy fight FOR YOUR FLORAL NEEDS ing off passionate feminine admirers on the sidelines that they had no time See George Tudan, or walk down to Jefferson Street THE GRADUATING SENIORS to play-(basketball, that is). Coach and see us personally AND SOPHOMORES Rqztum V. D. Clarke, who was lustily beating a huge bass drum in the Hill yer band all during the contest, had LUCIAN FLORIST THE BOND PRESS a few words for the press: "Oh yes, índesdy-do," he chortled, his face (A HILLYER ALUMNUS) Printers of the "Callboard" wreathed in ecstatic smiles, "I was 94 JEFFERSON ST. PHONE 5-7373 dee-lightedwith the game, and I think my boys played jolly well, too, so there! Bully for them!" With this," r======-J. the Maroon-and-gray mentor grabbed a nearby pitchfork and heaved a pile of "bully" out onto the floor. Jayvees Pile It Up I In the jayvee "tilt" (term copy righted by Dick Pilon), several things of importance occurred. A yokel by the name of Tony Lavelli on the Yale Your lost -chence to save Best Wishes team was held to a mere eight points by burly Frank Meyers and "hanger" to the Gene Feehan, a pair of pivots who stretch the tape to six feet one and Class of 1949 füteen-sixteenth inches. Tony who (Continued on page 4.) from COMPLIMENTS OF

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