Kid Stuff Find What’S Good on TV a Daughter’S First Date Young Star in the Kitchen Talking Politics Success Starts with Taking a Hands-On Approach

January 2017 Queens FREE Family www.NYParenting.com Cool kid stuff Find what’s good on TV A daughter’s first date Young star in the kitchen Talking politics Success starts with taking a hands-on approach.

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Features columns 8 Talking politics 6 Ask an Attorney How to handle election discussion By Alison Arden Besunder, Esq. with your children By Shnieka L. Johnson 28 Divorce & Separation By Lee Chabin, Esq. 27 14 2017 resolutions: Care more, love fiercely 31 New & Noteworthy By Lisa J. Curtis By Carolyn Waterbury-Tieman 18 Kids & TV calendar Ratings, recommendations, and guidelines for parents 22 January Events By Myrna Beth Haskell 27 First-date jitters special sections Daughter’s first dance brings out mom’s teen nostalgia 10 Catholic Schools By Kara Martinez Bachman Directory 30 This kid’s got chops 17 Kids Activities Directory 31 NYC cooking prodigy tells us about 29 The Marketplace his prize-winning dish By Shnieka L. Johnson

January 2017 • queens Family 3 letter from the publisher Short days and long nights ’m writing this on the of the glorious things about Rolling out soon will be the “new look” shortest day of the year, life in New York are all the of our website, NYParenting.com, and we I Dec. 21, and I can only wonderful parks that make hope you will visit it often. It works well say how happy I am to know our city so enjoyable in every with any device and offers a great calen- that every day from here on season. dar, helpful guides and of course all of our will grow longer. It’s draining It won’t be long before we editorial, both recent and archived. Our to get up when it’s dark and have a snowfall that leaves Online Camp Guide 2017 will be launching to leave work when it’s dark accumulation on the ground, soon. Be sure to look for it. also. I miss the light and don’t and what kid doesn’t love Wishing all of you and our staff and know anyone who doesn’t. finding a good hill in a park contributors a very Happy New Year! We Kids especially have a really and sledding or snow tubing hope you have started out the year right difficult time in the winter, particularly down? And what about those ice rinks? and that good health and prosperity will now that most of them are engaged in af- There are many wonderful rinks in all the be a part of your every day life in 2017. ter-school programs. By the time they too boroughs and I urge you to make sure that Take nothing for granted. Enjoy! Thanks are finished, it’s dark and also cold, not the your family begins this fun practice really for reading. best recipe for outdoor fun. early on in your child’s life. Light is very important to our psyche The holidays were fun as they always and we have to take advantage of the week- are but now we’re on to a New Year and ends in the winter in particular to make new experiences. New York is exciting all sure we get enough outdoor light time. year long and winter is no exception. This Getting yourself and the kids up early issue offers a variety of ideas of how to Susan Weiss-Voskidis, enough on weekend days to get outside stay healthy, eat well, and prioritize and Publisher/Excutive Editor and frolic is of the utmost importance. One make the cold months internally warmer. [email protected]

Community News Group Contact information ceo: Les Goodstein advertising: Web or Print address President & Publisher: (718) 260-4554 New York Parenting Media/CNG Jennifer Goodstein [email protected] 1 Metrotech Center North 10th Floor circulation Brooklyn, NY 11201 New York parenting (718) 260-8336 [email protected] Publisher / executive editor: Susan Weiss editorial www.NYParenting.com Publisher / business Manager: (718) 260-4554 Clifford Luster [email protected] oPerations associate: calendar NEW YORK Tina Felicetti (718) 260-2523 sales rePs: Alexis Benson, Erin Brof, Parenting Jay Pelc, Stephanie Stellacio art director: Leah Mitch The acceptance of advertising by New York Join the conversation on Facebook. Parenting does not constitute an endorse- New York Parenting has been recognized for Web designer: Sylvan Migdal ment of the products, services or informa- editorial and design excellence by PMA. tion being advertised. We do not knowingly graPhic designers: Arthur Arutyunov, present any products or services that are New York Parenting is published monthly by Richard Chance, Gardy Charles, Earl Ferrer, fraudu lent or misleading in nature. New York Parenting Media/CNG. Subscrip- tion rate is $35 annually. Reproduction of John Napoli, Mark Ramos Editorial inquiries, calendar information, New York Parenting Media in whole or advertising rates and schedules and subscrip- part without written permission from the tion requests may be addressed to New York th publisher is prohibited. All rights reserved. Parenting, One Metro tech Center North, 10 Copyright©2017 Managing editor: Vince DiMiceli Floor, Brooklyn, N.Y. 11201. assistant editor: Courtney Donahue New York Parenting can also be reached by coPy editors: Lisa J. Curtis calling (718) 260-4554, emailing Family@ NYParenting.com or by visiting our website, calendar editor: Joanna Del Buono NYParenting.com.

4 queens Family • January 2017 Catholic Schools Week January 29 - February 4, 2017

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January 2017 • queens Family 5 ADVICE

ASK AN ATTORNEY ALISON ARDEN BESUNDER, ESQ.

other half going to any surviving children. And, there are many people who hold themselves out to be husband and wife (or spouses) but in fact are not legally married. New York State does not have common-law marriage. Often people lose sight of what is involved to administrate an estate, and Don’t have a will? the fact that it can be less organized and require additional paperwork than in a probate estate. For example, for unmar- ried persons, you can try to go to court Know the risks to have a judicial declaration of a marriage, but it is a high burden of proof and ust” is not justice. when someone pulls something off the an uphill battle, one that encounters legal People often think that if they internet and just has it notarized, or has costs. Those costs are always considered “J die without a will, everything will it witnessed by one of the beneficiaries in determining the cost-benefit analysis just get taken care of. named in the will. of whether to proceed in a certain di- “Oh, I don’t need a will. Everything There are rules about the order of pri- rection. Estate taxes can also be higher will just go to my spouse.” Or, “I don’t ority about who stands to inherit from an in those cases, where a decedent was need a power of attorney. Worst comes intestate estate and who has “standing” not actually married to his partner, who to worst, they’ll just get a guardian- — the right to petition to be the fiduciary now will not receive the assets of the ship.” of the person’s estate. The fiduciary is decedent because he or she has no legal Often, these statements are driven by called an “Administrator” and not an standing as a non-spouse. the speaker’s desire to avoid paying legal “Executor,” a term which applies to pro- Also, if there are minor children, those fees, making it easier to resort to his vi- bate estates where a decedent died with minor children are not legally competent sion of focusing on what he thinks is the a will. (By the way, in New York State, to own property. Therefore, the parent ultimate result — rather than the process female fiduciaries are no longer called must seek appointment as a Guardian of required in order to get there. “Executrix” or “Administratrix” since the the property in order to receive the as- When someone dies without a Last diminutive suffix was abolished by court sets, at which point those funds must be Will and Testament, the rules of descent rule in 1997, yet many people continue to held jointly with the Clerk of the Court, and distribution of property under the incorrectly use these terms.) and the Court’s permission is required laws of intestacy — that is, dying with- The application of the laws of intestacy for a withdrawal of those assets. out a will — apply. These rules also may have unintended consequences. For This puts the Court in control of the apply when someone leaves a will that example, the spouse does not take all. In- assets, and not the child’s parent. The is invalid and does not comply with the stead, the spouse takes the first $50,000, parent is then required to seek the Sur- formalities of the statute, for example, and then half of the remainder, with the rogate’s Court approval every time she

Disclaimer: This column is provided by Arden Besunder P.C. and New York Parenting Media as a public service to inform readers of legal issues. It is not intended to advise. Since legal issues vary with an individual’s situation and needs, one should consult with an attorney. It is impossible to cover all aspects of the law in an article. Please be advised that the laws are constantly changing. The content in this article reflects the current law. Nothing contained in this article is intended as advice and does not create an attorney-client relationship between the reader and the firm. Individual consultation with an attorney is required to determine the specific facts and circumstances of any particular situation. A written retainer agreement between you and the firm is required before any attorney-client relationship may be created. Circular 230 Disclosure Notice: To ensure compliance with Treasury Department rules governing tax practice, we inform you that any advice contained herein (including in any attachment) (1) was not written and is not intended to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of avoiding any federal tax penalty that may be imposed on the taxpayer, and (2) may not be used in connection with promoting, marketing or recommending to another person any transaction or matter addressed herein.

6 queens Family • January 2017 or he wants to access some of the child’s conservative family members and don’t Even though he was not culpable in his money for childcare expenses. In New speak with them once arriving in the Big wife’s death, the Court barred him from York County, the Guardianship depart- Apple. Nonetheless, in this case, blood taking in intestacy. ment has an unspecified rule (not cod- really is thicker than water, and they will Children who are “adopted out” may ified anywhere) that there should be stand to inherit if there is no will to stand also not inherit from the biological par- enough money left for the child to go to in the way of that situation. ent. Stepchildren are not included in the college. There are no guidelines for what Without a will, you lose the option of intestacy list, no matter how emotionally this means. College tuition at a state choosing the person who will administer close the relationship. school or a private university? an estate, or serve as trustee. Often in an You need to look no further than es- Although the child is legally entitled intestacy situation, in cases where there tates of celebrities to visualize what to whatever is left in the account once he is no one suitable to serve, or even where happens. Prince died unexpectedly this or she reaches the age of 18, many would there is no family, the Public Administra- year without a will. Now his estimated agree that no child should have access to tor will serve as fiduciary. This is a per- $300-million estate will be distributed large sums of money at 18, particularly son appointed by the Court to administer among six siblings. This is complicated when that child has experienced a trag- those estates that are without someone because of the nature of his assets. Un- edy like losing a parent. to serve. surprisingly, other potential heirs have In addition, there are certain factors In certain circumstances, even those surfaced claiming to be Prince’s out-of- that render a person ineligible to serve people who are otherwise entitled to take wedlock child, including a federal prison as a fiduciary, such as a felony convic- under the statute can be barred from inmate. tion. Although a will does not necessarily that entitlement. For example, a parent There are serious consequences to not overcome that statutory barrier, at least or spouse who abandoned the decedent leaving a valid will, yet nearly two-thirds you would be able to state why you want cannot inherit, nor can a person who of American adults fail to do so. Don’t be that person to serve notwithstanding the murdered the decedent or was culpable one of them. And remember that this is defect or barrier to serving. in their death (known as the “Son of Sam” not a “do-it-yourself” project. In other situations, the decedent might rule). Alison Arden Besunder is the founding at- not have gotten along with his or her A Surrogate Court recently took that torney of the law firm of Arden Besunder P.C., siblings, or parents, from whom he or logic one step further: A husband who where she assists new and not-so-new parents she was estranged, or distant cousins murdered his wife’s mother (his mother- with their estate planning needs. Her firm as- whom he or she never met. Often, people in-law). The wife — the heir of the mur- sists clients in Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, in same-sex relationships, particularly dered woman’s estate — post-deceased Nassau, and Suffolk Counties. You can find Ali- those who hail from the South or “fly her mother, also intestate, leaving her son Besunder on Twitter @estatetrustplan and over” states, had a falling out with their husband as the sole heir of her estate. on her website at www.besunderlaw.com.

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JanuaryMonth 2017 • XXXXXqueens Family Family 23 7 Talking politics How to handle election discussion with your children

By Shnieka L. JohnSon thought that the outcome of the election disappointment in themselves, but also would change their lives. Most teens who their children’s dismay. Clinton said dur- s our country prepares to inau- took the poll also ranked issues — like gas ing her concession speech, “To all the little gurate its 45th president, Donald and food prices, education, health care, girls who are watching this, never doubt A J. Trump, it would be an under- war, and the environment — as “very im- that you are valuable and powerful and de- statement to say that there are still mixed portant” to them. serving of every chance and opportunity feelings amongst many Americans. The Regardless of personal politics, parents in the world to pursue and to achieve your election is over, and we must accept the are still tasked with promoting certain own dreams.” results, regardless of political designation. ideals in their children in the face of divi- Parents can use this moment as an op- As parents, we focus on our kids — their siveness surrounding our political leaders. portunity to show our kids how to voice questions, concerns, and opinions. Now Although we are no longer inundated with their opinions, respect others’ opinions, more than ever, children (as young as el- election coverage and advertisements, we and value differences. Start by sharing ementary aged) are politically informed. have not seen the end of negative talk on your own opinions on these subjects, and Due to social media and mass media our screens, which will continue to raise then ask your children their opinions. En- coverage, children engaged with their par- questions and reactions for children. Add- courage expression, questions, and feel- ents more than they might have during ing to the challenge in discussing the cur- ings, to ensure children become comfort- previous presidential election cycles. In rent news coverage with children is that able voicing these difficult emotions. fact, children are quite aware of the sig- parents may still be struggling with their Talking about the election result will nificance of this most recent election ac- own feelings about this election. add to their learning and critical-thinking cording to KidsHealth.org poll, where 75 For example, a task for parents who skills. It will also allow for you to hear their percent of kids and 79 percent of teens hoped Hillary Clinton would become the thoughts and correct any misconceptions. answered “yes” when asked whether they first female president, is how to cope with Maybe your child has fears about the fu-

8 queens Family • January 2017 ture. Possibly something a candidate said or did while campaigning is still concern- Although we are no longer inundated with election ing to them. Actively listen to your child, her concerns, and reassure her, but also coverage and advertisements, we have not seen encourage her to think about the future. Let your children know that they can also the end of negative talk on our screens, which will make a difference in their greater community, and help them think of things that continue to raise questions and reactions for children. they can do for others, or identify a cause that they can more actively support. Although it can be difficult at times to their emotions and learn to manage them and counting to 10 to diffuse anger, or decipher the complications of this elec- appropriately. using positive self-talk to overcome fear tion, parents must model a positive ex- or sadness. ample and provide support for their kids Managing emotions as the 45th president takes office. Research has shown that children — and Talking to teens adults — who can’t manage their emotions When children understand their own Strategies for have more difficulties academically, profes- feelings and those of others, they can act helping children sionally, socially, and psychologically. with self-control, compassion, and empa- Denise Daniels is a Peabody Award-win- It’s never too early, or too late, to begin thy. When teens have developed emotional ning broadcast journalist, author, and par- the process of helping children develop intelligence, they are better able to resist enting and child development expert, who “emotional intelligence” — so that they peer pressure and stay true to themselves. specializes in the social and emotional learn to act with civility and respect, de- When young adults act responsibly, development of children. She offers the spite any bad examples they may have they will vote with care and conviction. following strategies and discussion tips for seen during the election season. Our world — and our endless election helping children understand the election: cycles — will be better for it. Talking to kids Find this and other tips online at www. Actions and values Help older children feel comfortable denisedanielsparenting.com. We’re guided by our values, but we’re talking about their emotions by listening Shnieka Johnson is an education consultant judged by our actions. And actions, es- without judgement and emphasizing that and freelance writer. She is based in Manhat- pecially in children, are almost always all feelings are okay. Then teach your chil- tan where she resides with her husband and inspired by feelings. That’s why one of our dren strategies for managing their emo- son. Contact her via her website: www.shnieka- key jobs is to help our kids understand tions, whether it’s taking deep breaths johnson.com.

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January 2017 • queens Family 9 Catholic Schools Week Directory

The Mary Louis years of providing high-quality Academy Catholic education to students in Astoria. At SFA, Success For All, OUR LADY OF THE BLESSED 176021 Wexford Terrace is our ultimate goal. 718-297-2120 www.tmla.org SACRAMENT SCHOOL Principal – Sister Kathleen “The child is a veritable image McKinney of becoming, poised to reach nd 34-45 202 Street, Bayside, NY 11361 The Mary Louis woman is towards what is not yet, towards a growing that cannot be pre- (718) 229-4434 • Fax (718) 229-5820 offered an array of intellectually challenging courses that determined or prescribed. The potential is there, and it is up to OLBSACADEMY.ORG provide academic foundation. us to create the learning environ- Each student develops her pro- ment in which it can prosper Nursery Half Day and Full Day Programs gram incorporating honors and and succeed.” We consider it a advanced placement courses FREE Pre-K For All Program great privilege to help a child, focusing on her strengths with all their God-given gifts and and interests and leading to a Kindergarten through Grade 8 talents, grow and flourish! SFA is Regents Diploma with Advanced deeply committed to the ministry Comprehensive Technology Program Designation. SMARTBOARD of Catholic teaching and giving featuring iPads & Chromebooks Technology is used throughout our students the good example, the school. Over 100 comput- guidance, and love required to Art, Music, Physical Education, ers are available for student develop in them an active life of Foreign Language Classes use. Guidance Counselors offer faith, skilled academic compe- personal and academic coun- tence, and a keen global con- Interactive Whiteboards & SmartBoards seling beginning in the first sciousness. in ALL homerooms year. TMLA has a unique and extensive college program which St. Joseph Catholic CYO Sports, Girl Scouts focuses on acceptance to top Academy level colleges and universities. 28-46 44th Street Before-School Program starting at 7:15 AM Student talents are developed 718-728-0724 After-School Program until 6:00 PM and interests cultivated through www.stjosephsch.org participation in more than 50 Committed to the development extracurricular clubs and activi- of students of diverse back- ties. grounds and faiths from nursery Sacred Heart Catholic through eighth grade by providing a well-rounded foundation Academy for future learning and life. We 115-50 221st Street offer a rigorous academic pro- 718-527-0123 www.shcach.org gram, complemented by classes Our students learn the values in music, art, library, physical and traditions of Faith as we education, Spanish, Mandarin Join us in Celebrating incorporate them in each and and a hands-on science lab, every academic and extracur- with SMARTBoard computer ricular activity. We will endeavor technology in every instructional Catholic Schools Week to instruct our children in the area. In addition to our newly basic skills, to serve as tools, renovated Library Media Center 1/29/2017 through 2/4/2017 in the development of their housing our desktop computers, God –given talents and gifts. students in grades 4 to 8 have Sunday ...... Mass 10:00 AM in Church As we teach the children these individual iPads for instructional Tours 11:00 AM to 1:00 PM academic and physical skills, use. Our educational program Monday ...... Super Helping Hero Day we wish to provide them with encourages in students a desire opportunities to develop their for life-long learning, a commit- Tuesday ...... Pajama Day and Storytime fullest potential and to honestly ment to meeting the challenges Wednesday ...... Grandparents’ Day 9:00 AM evaluate their own efforts and to our society and planet, a willingness to give of their time Thursday ...... Open House 9:00 AM – 10:00 AM accomplishments through daily challenges. These efforts will and talents in service to others, Careers in STEM Community Fair 7 PM – 8:30 PM also be measured through timely and the development of a God- Friday ...... Student and Faculty Appreciation Day municipal, local, and school centered value system for life. To that end, we seek to create Saturday ...... Family Bingo evaluations. The faculty and staff recognize and respect the role of a nurturing community com- the parents/guardians as the pri- mitted to academic excellence, mary educators of their children. character building, and a respect NEW STUDENT REGISTRATION We look forward to their deep for the religious and multi-ethnic Sunday, January 29: 11:00AM–12:30 PM involvement in these efforts. diversity that characterizes our Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, 1/30, 1/31, 2/2 7:30 AM-2:00 PM community. Wednesday, 2/1 7:30 A.M.-1:00 P.M. St. Francis of Assisi St Sebastian Catholic Friday, 2/3 7:30 A.M.-11:00 A.M. School Academy 21-18 46th Street “Accredited by the Middle States Association 718-726-9405 www.sfa.org 39-76 58th Street of Colleges and Schools” Principal – Anne Stefano 718-429-1982 Proud to be celebrating over 60 Continued on page 12

10 queens Family • January 2017 Special Advertising Section St. Sebastian Catholic Academy Serving the Parishes of Blessed Virgin Mary, Help of Christians, Queen of Angels, St. Sebastian and St. Teresa 39 -76 58 Street, Woodside NY 11377 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” 718 429 1982 • www.stsebastianacademy.org GrAdeS NurSerY – 8 OpeN HOuSe Tuesday, January 31st – 9 AM until 10:30 AM Thursday, February 2nd – 9 AM until 10:30 AM • Monthly Liturgies • Internet Based Symphony • Academic Intervention and Seasonal Prayer Math Program Service Services • Newly Renovated • SETSS/Speech/OT • Elizabeth Ann Seton Library/Media Center • Free After School Sports/ Service Volunteers • Art Clubs for grades 6, 7 and • Junior Lectors & • Physical Ed./Health 8 sponsored on site by Altar Servers • Math Strategies Maspeth Town Hall • Technology Center Grades 5/7 • Paul Effman Band Service • Smart Board • Foreign Language • Extended Day (N-5) Technology In All • Title I Service • Classrooms on the 2nd CATHOLIC SCHOOLS WEEK Classrooms in Reading and Math and 3rd floors are air OPEN HOUSE: • Science Lab • Guidance conditioned Sunday, January 29th 12:30 - 1:30pm FREE Universal Pre-K For All Partnership with Monsignor McClancy HS SCHOOL VISITS: Classes in Advanced Algebra / Earth Science Mon., Jan. 30th 8:30 - 9:10am - All Grades Thurs., Feb. 2nd 8:30-9:10am - All Grades You may be eligible for tuition assistance for the 2017-2018 school year. 21-18 46th Street Wednesday, Feb. 8th, Thursday, Feb. 9th Astoria, NY 11105 from9:30 - 10:30am BUILDING 718-726-9405 On-going appointments are available www.sfaschool.org STRONG VALUES St. Joseph Catholic Academy

January 17, 18, 19, & 20 Pre-K for All between 9am & 11am 28-46 44th St. OPen LIC, NY 11103 Learn more about us HOuse at www.sjcalic.org

Special Advertising Section January 2017 • queens Family 11 Catholic Schools Week Private/Independent Directory

Continued from page 10 governments, medicine, educa- School Guide www.stsebastianschool.org tion, finance, business and many Principal – JoAnn Dolan other professions. Our school serves 440 girls and boys in nursery through Xaverian High School eighth grade. Each grade level Bay Ridge has approximately 25-30 stu- 7100 Shore Road dents who are heterogeneously 718-836-7100 x117 grouped. All levels of ability are www.xaverian.org reflected in our student popu- A Catholic, co-educational, lation. We are a multicultural college preparatory school in school with over 40 nations rep- resented throughout the student the tradition of the Xaverian body. A strong sense of family Brothers since 1957. A cutting pervades our school community. edge, one-to-one learning envi- Our Academy provides a Catholic ronment with iPads for every learning atmosphere in which student. Project and problem- students may develop spiritu- based learning through hands-on ally, intellectually, physically, and classroom experiences within socially. Each student is recog- the Michael T. Strianese ’74 nized as a unique individual with STEM Program, Xaverian’s highly special talents and abilities. We acclaimed Science, Technology, strongly encourage daily prayer, Engineering, and Math curricu- Sunday worship, and responsible moral conduct. For more than lum in conjunction with Project eighty years, this Catholic School Lead the Way. Private bus service of Excellence has prepared is available. Now offering Parent young people to move into lead- Tour Thursdays or spend a day ership positions and service in on our campus as a “Clipper for the Church, national and local a Day”.

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12 queens Family • January 2017 Special Advertising Section The Mary LouisThe MaryAcademy Louis Academy At The Mary Louis Academy, you will find your own voice — distinctive, confident, Atintelligent, The Mary Louis creative, and empowered — a voice that will be one of your greatest assets in life. At The Mary Louis Academy, you will find Academy, you will find your own voice— distinctive, confident, your own voice— intelligent, creative, and SHADOW A STUDENT distinctive, confident, empowered—a voice [email protected] intelligent, creative, and that will be one of your SHADOW A STUDENT greatest assets in life. empowered—a voice [email protected] that will be one of your 176-21 Wexford Terrace Jamaica Estates, NY 11432 greatest assets in life. Phone: 718-297-2120 Fax: 718-739-0037 VISIT OUR WEBSITE @WEARETMLA www.tmla.org #HILLTOPPERNATION 176-21 Wexford Terrace TACHS #016 The Mary Louis Academy is sponsored by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Brentwood, New York. Accredited by the Middle States Association Jamaica Estates, NY 11432 of Colleges and Schools and Chartered by the State of NY. Phone: 718-297-2120 Fax: 718-739-0037 VISIT OUR WEBSITE @WEARETMLA www.tmla.org #HILLTOPPERNATION TACHS #016 176-21 Wexford Terrace, Jamaica Estates, NY 11432 • Phone: 718-297-2120 • Fax: 718-739-0037 • @WEARETMLA • #HILLTOPPERNATION • TACHS #016 The Mary Louis Academy is sponsored by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Brentwood, New York. Accredited by the Middle States Association The Mary Louis Academy is sponsored by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Brentwood, New York. Accredited by the Middle States Association of Colleges and Schools and Chartered by the State of NY. of Colleges and Schools and Chartered by the State of NY.

V E R I A A N X

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Special Advertising Section January 2017 • queens Family 13 2017 resolutions: Care more, love fiercely By Carolyn WaterBury-tieman streets of the once-charming town were poses. George discovered that in the pres- lined with businesses catering to all man- ence of genuine caring and relationship, aily reports of hate-motivated vi- ner of human vice. people strive to live up to your highest olence, divisive rhetoric, threats In a world without George Bailey, Mr. expectations of them. Potter preferred to D to long-held racial, religious, and Potter managed to destroy every shred operate in the absence of genuine caring gender liberties, along with irreparable at- of decency and humanity that had char- and relationship, counting on people to tacks on the Earth, have led me to limit my acterized Bedford Falls. In the absence of be satisfied to live down to his lowest ex- screen exposure. It’s not that I want to hide George Bailey, Potter capitalized on peo- pectations. from reality. But determining what is real ple’s fears, distrust, ignorance, anger, and These two opposing approaches to has become so much more complicated desperation, creating a dependence on wielding personal influence have been and difficult to establish. him for their livelihood. Without the con- readily observed over the past year. What Lately, it feels as though I’ve been trans- science, optimism, courage, empathy, and is abundantly clear is that if we allow our- ported to an altered state of existence rem- loving kindness of a George, Potter’s quest selves to become disillusioned when faced iniscent of the sequence in “It’s A Wonder- for power and control went unchecked. with disappointment, it is easy to slip into ful Life” when George Bailey wished that Whereas George looked for the best self pity and despair. By doing so, we make he’d never been born and finds himself in people, appealing to their strengths, ourselves vulnerable to those who would in Pottersville. He discovers the people and inspiring them to discover these in guide us down a destructive path. he knew and loved have degenerated into themselves, Potter relied on people’s inse- This is not the time to retreat into dark- the worst versions of themselves. They curities, preying upon their weaknesses, ness. Now’s the time to rise up, determined had become bitter, greedy, and cruel. The which more readily served his selfish pur- to stay alert, be smart, take action, and

14 queens Family • January 2017 work harder to create the conditions nec- courage, knowledge, confidence, and ful- essary for the preservation of a healthy fillment lending to growth, compassion, future for ourselves, our children, and our This is not the time to and unity. planet. We have reached a critical time in retreat into darkness. It’s easy to hate. You don’t have to our history when we must choose between give up anything to hate. Loving is much what is best and what is easy. In choosing Now’s the time to rise harder, because you have to give some- to do what is best, we must think globally thing up. You have to give up putting your- while living locally. We must live in the up, determined to stay self first. Love is powerful, even fierce. It is present while being mindful of the future. patient and kind. It sacrifices and protects. Here are two recommended New Year’s alert, be smart, take It challenges wrongdoing and defies injus- resolutions: action, and work harder. tice. Love endures hardship and dares to hope. People yearn for love in their lives. Care more They want to be loved fiercely. I choose to When my younger son became over- love, in hopes that it will serve as a beacon whelmed by challenging situations, he astating consequences for all of us, such guiding others to discover the power of attempted to alleviate anxiety by declar- as pollution, climate change, and food love within themselves. ing, “I don’t care!” Instead of trying to waste. Therefore, I have to care more and George Bailey discovered he had a convince him that he did indeed care or do more to make up for those who choose wonderful life, not because of what he excusing him from trying, I would say, not to care. Hopefully, in time, they will had, but because of what he gave. The “Then I guess I’ll have to care enough for find the courage to care. care and love he unselfishly shared in- both of us until you feel strong enough spired hope, giving others the courage to care again.” This response, combined Love fiercely to care and love as well. George’s wealth with guided practice and encouragement, What we have witnessed, recently, was measured in devoted family and generally invited a spirit of cooperation is what happens when anger prevails. friends. May we all seek such riches in rather than antagonism. Before long, he Anger is an emotion that appears pow- the New Year. felt confident enough to resume caring. erful and strong because it is loud, even Carolyn Waterbury-Tieman is a resident of It’s easier not to care. It relieves any violent. But anger is based in fear, igno- Lexington, Ky. She has been married for 29 sense of personal responsibility for im- rance, insecurity, and emptiness leading years and has two sons. She spent 15 years proving the situation. But not caring cre- to hate, cruelty, and division. Anger may as a family therapist and parent educator and ates a false sense of security that can be be a strong emotion, but it is not an emo- has written extensively on the topic of parent- dangerous. Not caring leads people to do tion of strength. Love is an emotion of ing. To contact her, please e-mail parent4life@ and fail to do things that may have dev- strength. Love comes from a place of yahoo.com.

January 2017 • queens Family 15 Fall–Winter 2015–2016 FREE MUSIC & DANCE NEW YORK SPECIAL CHILD CLASSES www.NYParenting.com NEW YORK The risks of FOR misdiagnosis How social media supports parents SPECIAL ALL AGES Strategies for language

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16 queens Family • January 2017 Special Advertising Section Kids Activities-Sign up now Directory Kimmy Ma Art Performing Kimmy Ma ARTStudio Arts ARTStudio Fresh Meadow 190-19 Union TPK Joe’s Music & Dance “Launch Creative Minds” 646-209-9352 Academy www.kimmyma-ARTStudio. St. Albans com 114-04 Farmers Blvd The fall session begins in September, with the Studio 718-454-3036 open 7 days a week; begin- www.joesmusiccenter.com Happy New Year! ner friendly classes are offered Since 1998 Music lessons & Sunday/Monday, Tuesday- dance classes for Guitar, Bass, Thursday is ideal for serious Voice, Violin, Viola, Cello, beginners. For skill assertive Upright Bass, Drums, Piano, all learners, Friday & Saturday’s 2.5- woodwind & brass instruments, hour classes are designed to fur- Year of the Rooster ther artistic development. The Choir, Preschool Dance, Ballet, Fine Arts curriculum is designed Jazz, Hip Hop, Tap, Step, African by Mrs. Ma, Master of art in and Modern Dance and more the school of education at NYU – offered all in one location. Schedule a Trial Now! since 1996. The learners explore Private and group lessons in all 5 units in a 16-week semester: popular instruments, as well as comic, pastel, charcoal, water- voice are available. The staff NEW session begins 2/1 color & painting, using medium consists of experienced music based & ability level instructions. teachers, capable of teaching Enroll now before the session begins or make an appointment all ages and levels. Constantly to visit; no walk-ins. Please see renovating and improving the Art for Beginners: the website for the student gal- facilities as well as providing on- (K-3rd) Mon. 4-5:30 & Sun. 9:15-10:45; Sun. 3-4:30 lery & bios of all our teaching going support to the instructors. artists. Enrollment is open all year. NEW (Age 6-9) Sat. 3-4:40 (Age 9+) Sun. 11-12:40 (Age 8+) Cartooning Sun.1-2:30 Medium Based & Ability Level Fine Arts Instructions: T/W/Th 3:30-5:30 (age 9-MS) Intermediate Beginners: Online Activity Guide Fri. 4-6:30 & Sat. 9:30-11:45; Sat. 12:15-2:45 on Lead curriculum designer: www.NYParenting.com Mrs. Kimmy Ma, Master of Art in the School of Education, NYU, with a creative team of qualiﬁ ed art instructors. 646-209-9352 190-19 Union TPK, Fresh Meadow, NY 11366 www.facebook.com/kimmyartstudio For curriculum & 16-wk art calendar, www.kimmyma-ARTStudio.com

Special Advertising Section January 2017 • queens Family 17 Kids & TV Ratings, recommendations, and guidelines for parents

By Myrna Beth haskell gist, co-author of “Unplug: Raising Kids “In terms of negative in a Technology Addicted World” and knew a mom several years ago who founder of Technology Wellness Center had a “no TV” policy. She was ada- programming, I always (www.technologywellnesscenter.com), I mant about a television-free environ- reports, “The American Academy of Pe- ment, so she didn’t own one. What she say that turning on any diatrics (AAP) recommends no televi- may not have known was that her son sion for children under the age of 2. For would visit his friends’ houses and make media is like opening the children older than 2, the recommenda- a beeline for the tube, instead of choos- door to your living room. tion is no more than one to two hours of ing to play soccer down at the park or go quality programming a day. TV watching for a bike ride. Would you let kids in who and technology use can impede valu- Television programming has changed able developmental activities like explor- immensely in the last 20 years. There are were being violent, mean ing, playing, and interacting with others. so many choices that it can make one These functions are vital to learning dizzy at times. Part of the positive aspect to each other, or making and healthy physical and social develop- of this change, however, is that there are fun of other kids?” ment.” plenty of quality choices available. Experts also remind parents that TV Perhaps the quandary for parents time includes watching programs on the today is not if their children should watch computer and iPad. TV but what they should watch and how school work, and family time. Dr. Jephtha Tausig-Edwards, a New often they should tune in. Parental con- “Television can be a source of learning York City-based clinical psychologist and trols as well as resource websites (i.e. and entertainment,” explains Dr. Sanam supervising psychologist for Family & www.commonsensemedia.org) provide Hafeez, a licensed neuropsychologist Children’s Services of Nantucket, says, parents with control and information and founder and director of Comprehen- “Don’t have it playing in the background. that they didn’t have decades ago. sive Consultation Psychological Services, Keep screens and other media out of P.C. (www.comprehendthemind.com). children’s bedrooms and do not use right How much is too much? “However, too much TV can take away before bedtime. There really isn’t a sub- Have you ever tried to have a con- from other activities, such as exercising, stitute for reading to a child in terms of versation with a child engrossed in his playing with friends, reading, and doing the boost this gives to early literacy and favorite TV show? It’s like trying to get homework.” the opportunities for interaction between your dog’s attention when he’s just gotten Hafeez warns parents of additional parents and children.” a hold of his new, stuffed bone. He knows concerns. If televisions are not in children’s bed- you’re there, but he’s too busy chomping “Studies have shown that kids who rooms, the battle is half won, because it to acknowledge you. watch too much TV are more likely to be will be easier to monitor screen time if Balance is the operative word. Some- overweight, and depending on the con- the television is in a central location used times we all — parents included — need tent of what they see, more aggressive. by all family members. a bit of a break from the “real” world. Excess TV viewing has also been linked It’s not unhealthy if quality television to poor grades, sleep problems, and be- Quality programming programs are viewed in moderation and havioral problems.” What should parents look for in quality are not interfering with social activities, Dr. Lisa Strohman, a clinical psycholo- programming?

18 queens Family • January 2017 “Look for educational content, respect- creator of the current hit, “Daniel Ti- ‘Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood’ fits this ful language, take-home messages or les- ger’s Neighborhood” (PBS Kids) as well bill because of its socio-emotional sto- sons which are congruent with your val- as “Blue’s Clues” (Nick Jr.) and “Super rylines, preschool musical strategies ues, and what you feel are important per- WHY!” (PBS Kids). She advocates televi- about sharing, going to the potty, dealing spectives you would like your children to sion viewing in moderation: a good bal- with disappointments, and trying new have towards their fellow human beings,” anced diet of healthy media! foods. These are life lessons that this says Tausig-Edwards. When it comes to preschoolers, San- young age group is able to grasp with mu- “I’ve always recommended a rich diet tomero counsels, “Interacting and physi- sical strategies that help and guide both of good, quality educational media that cal touch is the most important stimu- parents and kids together.” kids are interested in, want to talk about, lation for babies and toddlers. When “Go with calm, quiet programs. Slower- and want to learn more from,” explains television is introduced, it should be at paced viewing gives small children time Angela Santomero, a child development a slower pace so that it is not overstimu- to think and absorb. Lots of random activ- expert, TV executive producer, and co- lating. Continued on following page

January 2017 • queens Family 19 ity, like the kind in action-adventure cartoons, confuses them,” Hafeez describes. “Instead, choose simple programs that em- How to interpret TV ratings phasize interactivity. Ideal shows inspire Here are Dr. Strohman’s explana- geared toward children, your child to make sounds, say words, tions of Federal Communications but they are appropriate sing, and dance.” Commission (FCC) ratings. for all ages by most parents. They do not con- Santomero suggests the following shows Ratings directed tain excessive violence, for various age groups: towards children: expletives, or sexual ref- For preschoolers: TV-Y: These programs are not erences. “Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood” (PBS expected to frighten or upset TV-PG: These pro- Kids: Socio-emotional) young children as they are spe- grams may contain some “Creative Galaxy” (Amazon.com Inc.: cifically designed for viewers violence, some suggestive Art) between the ages of 2 and 6. or sexual material, and occa- “Super WHY!” (PBS Kids: Literacy) TV-Y7: These programs fea- sional strong language. They “Blue’s Clues” (Nick Jr.: Kindergarten ture fantasy that young chil- are likely not appropriate for readiness show) dren may not have the develop- young children to watch unat- mental skills to understand and tended, but are acceptable for For young kids: are typically not appropriate for older children. “Wild Kratts” (PBS & PBS Kids: Adven- children under 7. The make-believe TV-14: Parents are cautioned to ture learning) plot lines are more likely to frighten not allow children under 14 to view “Wishenpoof!” (Amazon.com: Adven- young children. these programs without supervi- ture learning) sion. These programs might include “Word Girl” (PBS & PBS Kids: Literacy) Ratings directed toward overtly sexual situations, inappropri- general audience: ate dialogue, indecent language, or For tweens: TV-G: These are not “specifically” graphic violence. “Master Chef Jr.” (FOX: Cooking) “Project Runway Jr.” (Lifetime: Fashion creation) Tausig-Edwards points to Albert Ban- ship can and should be.” “The Amazing Race” (CBS and Travel dura’s seminal work in this area. Channel: Reality adventure) “The work showed that children are Some general guidelines “The Gilmore Girls” (Warner Bros. and affected by instrumental violence. For “Overall, I believe in watching age- Netflix: Family drama) example, if they see it, they are likely to appropriate content that is enriching “Fuller House” (Sequel to “Full House.” try it subsequently. Content is crucial and inspiring,” says Santomero. “I also Netflix Original Series: Family drama) as children are not able to differentiate believe that, as a parent, you are doing between real and cartoon violence until your best when you are interested, ac- For teens: they are much older.” tive, and involved in what your kids are “Downton Abbey” (PBS: Period drama Hafeez agrees. doing. Get into the content that they are series) “Younger children tend to model be- watching as deeply as possible. Read “Friends” (Reruns on TBS and NIK: havior they see and don’t always un- the books, play the app, do related ac- Comedy drama) derstand the difference between reality tivities, or just sit over a snack and have Also recommended for teens: and entertainment. Therefore, exposure a good old-fashioned discussion about “Scorpion” (CBS: Tech-driven drama se- to sex and violence through the me- your child’s favorite show.” ries) dia’s influence can cause aggressive or Hafeez advocates critical viewing. “Bunheads” (Freeform: Dance drama) anti-social behavior. Media can influence “Even young children can learn to “The Fosters” (Freeform: Family about children to believe violence is a good so- watch without ‘tuning out.’ Encourage foster teens) lution to solve problems or desensitize your child to ask questions and relate and cause a lack of empathy for human what’s happening in the show to her own What to avoid suffering.” life. For example, if you and your toddler Santomero advises, “In terms of nega- In terms of the consequences of being have just finished watching a ‘Sesame tive programming, I always say that turn- exposed to sex and violence on televi- Street’ segment that introduces a num- ing on any media is like opening the door sion, Dr. Hafeez states, “Kids exposed to ber, talk about it later and find other to your living room. Would you let kids sex on TV are almost twice as likely to ini- examples to show him. While setting the in who were being violent, mean to each tiate sexual intercourse. Some research table you might say, ‘Hey, today’s number other, or making fun of other kids? De- suggests that kids who watch violence was 3, and there are 3 places to set!’ ” pending on the age of your child, the im- on TV are more likely to display aggres- All experts advise encouraging social mersive experience of media creates an sive behavior.” For young children, she activities that draw kids away from ob- image that can hardly ever be erased, so suggests that scary shows be avoided sessing about what’s on the screen. be careful of what stories you decide to as well. have your kids be part of and what char- Santomero adds, “Watching violence Myrna Beth Haskell is an award-winning acters you want your kids to be friends on television is not only a modeling con- author, columnist, and feature writer. Her work with. Also, be ready to talk about any and cern for kids, but might also motivate has appeared in national and regional pub- all issues that they see.” kids to be more violent in nature. Watch- lications across the U.S. as well as interna- Experts have studied the effects of vio- ing sexual content, before [one is] ready, tionally (www.myrnahaskell.com). She is also lent and sexual content affecting young could cause confusion or lack of under- cofounder and senior editor of “Sanctuary” viewers’ behavior for decades. standing about what a positive relation- (www.sanctuary-magazine.com).

20 queens Family • January 2017 autiSm ServiceS

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January 2017 • queens Family 21 Calendarjanuary

Get creative with the Moving Image Brighten up winter by dropping in to games. Recommended for ages 7 and the Museum of Moving Image through- older, accompanied by an adult. out January. Moving Image Studio is the Drop in dates are Jan. 7, 14, 21, and 28 museum’s drop-in space where visitors from noon to 4 pm. Free with museum can create media and other projects. Ac- admission. tivities range from making flipbooks and Museum of the Moving Image [36-01 35th thaumatropes (hand-drawn optical toys) Ave. between 36th and 37th streets, (718) to stop-motion animations and video 777–6888; www.movingimage.us].

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Sun, Jan. 1 In Queens Tinkering weekend: New York Hall of Sci- ence, 47-01 111th St.; (718) 699–0005 X 353; www.nyscience.org; 1:30 pm to 5 pm; Free with admission to the hall. Join us at this free drop-in workshop for tinkering activities that will encourage your family to build, explore, and create together. Historical fun for kids Mon, Jan. 2 Come to Long Island’s Gold Coast fancy hat and have your picture taken, for a fun family day of crafts at the just like the many portraits on view In Queens Nassau County Museum of Art on in the 100 Years of Photos exhibition, Winter Warrior Workshop: Museum of Jan. 15. before embarking on a scavenger hunt the Moving Image, 36-01 35th Ave.; (718) The event Merrymaking in a Gold throughout the museum. Design a pic- 777–6888; www.movingimage.us; 11:30 am; Coast Mansion offers children an op- ture frame with gems to showcase a Free with museum admission. portunity to discover what life was favorite photo at home before joining Participate in creative media-making in- like in the early 1920s — before com- us for a sweet — nut-free — treat. spired by “Kubo and the Two Strings.” Activi- puters, TV, and electronic games. Merrymaking in a Gold Coast Man- ties include character design, origami, animat- The museum was the home of sion, Jan. 15 from 1 pm to 4 pm. There ing your own samurai scene, and more. Drop Childs and Frances Frick and their is a $10 materials fee per family, plus by or stay all day in this workshop for young visitors and families. Recommended for ages four children who read stories, made museum admission. 5 and older accompanied by an adult. art, and performed plays for enter- Nassau County Museum of Art [1 Mu- tainment. Come dressed for a party seum Dr. in Roslyn Harbor, (516) 484–9338, Fri, Jan. 6 inspired by the Frick family. Create a http://nassaumuseum.org]. In Queens Digital Media Lab: Museum of the Mov- Sat, Jan. 7 and other projects. Activities range from making Image, 36-01 35th Ave.; (718) 777–6888; ing flipbooks and thaumatropes (hand-drawn In Queens www.movingimage.us; 4 pm to 6 pm. optical toys) to stop-motion animations and video games. Recommended for ages 7 and Teens dive into the world of Snapchat and Mulch Fest 2017: Brookville Park, older, accompanied by an adult. explore its use as a storytelling tool. For teens Brookville Blvd. at 144th Avenue; (718) 14 years and older. 392–5232; www.nypgovparks.org; 10 am to 2 pm; Free. Sun, Jan. 8 SsingSsing: Flushing Town Hall, 137-35 Families get involved and volunteer to help Northern Blvd.; (718) 939–0647; www.flush- by spreading mulch that is generated dur- In Queens ingtownhall.org; 8 pm; $16 ($10 members; ing MulchFest around young trees to insulate Peruvian art workshop: Flushing Town Free for teens between 13 and 19 years old them from the cold winter weather, retain Hall, 137-35 Northern Blvd.; (718) 939–0647; with student ID). moisture, and provide a decorative addition to www.flushingtownhall.org; 2 pm to 4 pm; $5 Six Korean musicians from diverse genres neighborhoods around the city. You can also (Free for Members) materials included. join creative forces in the eccentric band Ss- pick up bags of mulch to take home with you All-ages art workshop by Peruvian-Ameri- ingSsing. The group melds two totally dispa- and use on the trees on your street! can artist Renzo Ortega introducing the art of rate elements: rock music and authentic Ko- Moving Image Studio: Museum of the drawing and painting. Learn basic composi- rean folk singing, Minyo, while also including Moving Image, 36-01 35th Ave.; (718) 777– tion and color concepts. elements from ballads, pop music, and sha- 6888; www.movingimage.us; Noon to 4 pm; Story time & craft: Queens Botanical Gar- manist rituals with an extravagant visual style Free with museum admission. den, 43-50 Main St.; (718) 886–3800; info@ and stage presence. For teens older than 13 Moving Image Studio is the museum’s queensbotanical.org; www.queensbotanical. years old. drop-in space where visitors can create media org; 2 pm to 3:30 pm; Free.

January 2017 • queens Family 23 Calendar Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar

Bring your little nature lovers to QBG for a relaxing afternoon featuring seasonal nature- inspired stories, followed by a botanically themed craft activity. Recommended for ages 10 and under.

Sat, Jan. 14 In Queens Family programs: Queens Botanical Gar- den, 43-50 Main St.; (718) 886–3800; info@ queensbotanical.org; www.queensbotanical. org; 11 am to noon; $10 per class ($40 for four classes; $36 members). Bring the whole family and experience winter’s splendor with indoor garden activities and an outdoor nature walk. Activities are geared for 4–10 year olds, but all are welcome to attend. Each week will include indoor nature-themed hands-on activities, followed by a short nature walk around the Garden. Bundle up and dress for the weather! Sign up for single sessions or all four. Registra- tion required. Moving Image Studio: Museum of the Moving Image, 36-01 35th Ave.; (718) 777– 6888; www.movingimage.us; Noon to 4 pm; Free with museum admission. Moving Image Studio is the museum’s drop-in space where visitors can create media Blast off to outer space and other projects. Activities range from making flipbooks and thaumatropes (hand-drawn Ground control is calling all space Ellen Van Dusen, and the Bridge Project optical toys) to stop-motion animations and travelers to come and visit before the Crazy Space Odyssey, by Tom Burnett, video games. Recommended for ages 7 and mission takes off on Jan. 22 at the Chil- Edy Escamilla, and Yung Oh Le Page. older, accompanied by an adult. dren’s Museum of Art. The Bridge is full of sights, sounds, Science of Sound Workshop & Show: The exhibit Mission to Space covers and even a moving comet. As you Flushing Town Hall, 137-35 Northern Blvd.; the mysteries of outer space and how continue to the space station you will (718) 939–0647; www.flushingtownhall. it continues to challenge our imagina- board a spacecraft and blast off into org; 1 pm – 2:30 pm; Call for pricing (free for tions. As life on Earth faces a volatile out space. teens 13 to 19 years old with student id). future, outer space emerges as a des- Mission to Space, daily until Jan. 22, Hands-on activities and demonstrations tination of refuge, peace, and infinite from noon to 4 pm. Free with museum by Michel Lauzière on how he uses basic possibility. admission. scientific laws regarding sound to build his While there, come to the Pepperman Children’s Museum of the Arts [103 Char- bizarre contraptions and original musical in- Family Fine Arts Studio and enjoy two lton St. at Hudson Street in Hudson Square, struments, followed by a performance where he entertains with bizarre and original musi- new interactive installations by designer (212) 274–0986; www.cmany.org]. cal instruments. Through Michel’s funny way of transforming noise into music, he explains what sound is, how it travels, and how it is Sun, Jan. 15 Once upon a time, before computers and amplified with visual examples and audience TV, the museum was the home of Childs and participation. In Queens Frances Frick and their four children who read Exploring the night sky: Alley Pond En- Little Makers: New York Hall of Science, stories, made art, and performed plays for vironmental Center, 228-06 Northern Blvd.; 47-01 111th St.; (718) 699–0005 X 353; entertainment. Come to the museum dressed (718) 229–4000; 7 pm to 9 pm; $15 ($9 www.nyscience.org; 10:30 am to 12:30 pm; for a party inspired by the Frick family. members). $8 per family ($5 members). One of the longest running astronomy pro- Investigate everyday materials to create a Mon, Jan. 16 grams in the city, now in its 20th year, will be colorful masterpiece. Mix up a batch of wash- led by seasoned professor and astronomer able paint to continue art making at home. In Queens Mark Freilich. Each program features an in- Recommended for children 18 months and Gingerbread Lane Giveaway: New door question and answer session on basic older. York Hall of Science, 47-01 111th St.; (718) astronomy, followed by exciting outdoor 699–0005 X 353; www.nyscience.org; 3 pm viewing using a professional telescope. Lim- Further Afield to 5 pm; Free with hall admission. ited to 20 participants. Although this is an Merrymaking in a Gold Coast Man- Museum visitors can take home a piece of adult workshop, children ages 9 and up are sion: Nassau County Museum of Art, One GingerBread Lane. Gingerbread houses will welcome to register as long as they are ac- Museum Drive, Long Island; (516) 484–9338; be given away on a first-come, first-served companied by a participating adult. Rain date nassaumuseum.org; 1 pm to 4 pm; $10 per basis until every piece of GingerBread Lane Jan. 21. Registration required. family materials fee plus museum admission. is gone. Visitors are asked to bring a box or

24 queens Family • January 2017 Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar Calendar

bag (flat-bottomed shopping bags or paper grocery bags work best) to carry their gingerbread loot home. (Line starts at 2 pm).

Sat, Jan. 21 In Queens Family programs: 11 am to noon. Queens Botanical Garden. See Saturday, Jan. 14. Moving Image Studio: Museum of the Moving Image, 36-01 35th Ave.; (718) 777– 6888; www.movingimage.us; Noon to 4 pm; Free with museum admission. Moving Image Studio is the museum’s drop-in space where visitors can create media and other projects. Activities range from making flipbooks and thaumatropes (hand-drawn optical toys) to stop-motion animations and video games. Recommended for ages 7 and older, accompanied by an adult. Story time & craft: 2 pm to 3:30 pm. Queens Botanical Garden. See Sunday, Jan. 8.

Sun, Jan. 22 In Queens Little Makers: New York Hall of Science, 47-01 111th St.; (718) 699–0005 X 353; Discover vintage ’toons www.nyscience.org; 10:30 am to 12:30 pm; $8 per family ($5 members). Experience the magical world of vin- children get to see what their parents Mix and blend strips and scraps of re- tage animation, projected on 16-mil- watched on Saturday mornings and in cycled paper to make soft paper clay. Think limeter film as it often was in homes movie theaters. with your hands as you mold it into delight- through much of the 20th century at For children and adults of all ages. ful sculptures. Recommended for children 18 Voelker Orth Museum on Jan. 22. Vintage ‘Toons on Jan. 22, 2 pm. Ad- months and older. Film historian Tom Stathes brings us mission is $5; free for children under 3. Vintage cartoon characters: Voelker a delightful afternoon of vintage car- Voelker Orth Museum [149-19 38th Ave. Orth Museum, 149-19 38th Ave.; (718) 359– toons from Pat Sullivan Studios, includ- between Northern Boulevard and Roosevelt 6227; www.vomuseum.org; 2 pm; $5 (Free ing Felix the Cat. Adults get to enjoy Avenue in Flushing, (718) 359–6227; www. for children under 3). their childhood favorites again and vomuseum.org]. Experience the magical world of vintage animation, projected on 16-millimeter film as it often was in homes through much of Chinese New Year Temple Bazaar: animations and video games. Recommended the 20th century. Film historian Tom Stathes Flushing Town Hall, 137-35 Northern Blvd.; for ages 7 and older, accompanied by an brings us a delightful afternoon of vintage (718) 939–0647; www.flushingtownhall. adult. cartoons from Pat Sullivan Studios, includ- org; 11 am to 1 pm and 2 pm to 4 pm; $5 ($3 ing Felix the Cat. For children and adults of members and children) per session. Free for all ages. teens 13 to 19 years old with student ID. Long-running For centuries, people in China have cel- In Queens Sat, Jan. 28 ebrated the Lunar New Year in temple fairs. Gingerbread Lane: New York Hall of Sci- Bring your family to enjoy performances, mar- In Queens ence, 47-01 111th St.; (718) 699–0005 X 353; tial arts, crafts, and food to celebrate the Year www.nyscience.org; Daily, 10 am to 4 pm; Five Senses Exploration: New York Hall of the Rooster. The Temple Bazaar is offered Now – Sun, Jan. 15; Free with hall admission. of Science, 47-01 111th St.; (718) 699–0005 X in two sessions. Join the dragon parade at Visitors can marvel at homemade ginger- 353; www.nyscience.org; 10:30 am to 12:30 Flushing Library at 9:30 am. bread houses made entirely of edible ginger- pm; Free with admission to the hall. Family programs: 11 am to noon. Queens bread, royal icing and candy. The houses are Workshop for children with autism spec- Botanical Garden. See Saturday, Jan. 14. drafted, designed, baked, planned, built, and trum disorder. Explore your five senses and decorated by creator Jon Lovitch over the Moving Image Studio: Museum of the learn how they work together to help you course of an entire year. discover the world around you. Join us for Moving Image, 36-01 35th Ave.; (718) 777– hands-on science experiments and sensory- 6888; www.movingimage.us; Noon to 4 pm; Digital Media Lab: Museum of the Mov- rich projects in work. Materials will include vi- Free with museum admission. ing Image, 36-01 35th Ave.; (718) 777–6888; sual schedules, a communication booklet, and Moving Image Studio is the museum’s www.movingimage.us; Friday, Jan. 6, 4 pm; more. Sometimes creativity can get messy, so drop-in space where visitors can create Friday, Feb. 3, 4 pm. please dress your little scientist (and yourself) media and other projects. Activities range Teens dive into the world of Snapchat and in old clothing that can be splattered. Regis- from making flipbooks and thaumatropes explore its use as a storytelling tool. For teens tration required. (hand-drawn optical toys) to stop-motion 14 years and older.

January 2017 • queens Family 25 Calendar Our online calendar is updated daily at www.NYParenting.com/calendar

Stacks After School program: Children 6 to 14 years old have an opportunity to improve their education through struc- tured and unstructured activities that enhance science, technology, engineering and math along with literacy activities. Each child must commit to the full year program. have a valid Queens Library card, and the permission of a parent or guardian. Free for all. Weekdays 3 pm to 5:30 pm. www.queenslibrary.org: • Arverne Public Library, 312 Bch. 54th St. at Rockaway Beach Boulevard. (718) 634–4784. • Baisley Park Public Library, 117-11 Sutphin Blvd. at Foch Boulevard. (718) 529–1590. • Briarwood Public Library, 85-12 Main St. at Village Road. (718) 658–1680. • Cambria Heights Public Library, 218- 13 Linden Blvd. between 218th and 219th streets. (718) 528–3535. • Corona Public Library, 38-23 104th St. between 38th and 39th streets. (718) 426–2844. • East Elmhurst Public Library, 95-06 Astoria Blvd. at 95th Street. (718) 424–2619. • Far Rockaway Public Library, 1637 Central All aboard for this show Ave. at Mott Avenue. (718) 327–2549. • Flushing Public Library, 41-17 Main St. at Hop aboard and come see the Holi- to the North Pole. This year’s ex- Parsons Boulevard. (718) 661–1200. day Train Show at Grand Central Termi- hibit showcases Lionel’s Grand Cen- • Jackson Heights Public Library, 35-51 81st nal now through Feb. 26. tral Express, Metro-North, Pennsylva- St. at Northern Boulevard. (718) 899–2500. • Laurelton Public Library, 134-26 225th St. The 15th annual display features nia Flyer, Polar Express, and vintage at Merrick Boulevard. (718) 528–2822. iconic holiday images of a model train subway train sets against a backdrop • Lefferts Public Library, 103-34 Lefferts whirring by as it circles the base of designed for the museum’s 40th an- Blvd. at 103rd Avenue. (718) 843–5950. a brightly-lit tree, evoking feelings of niversary. • Lefrak Public Library, 98-30 57th Ave. at warmth and wonder in children and Holiday Train Show, weekdays now Junction Boulevard. (718) 592–7677. adults alike. through Feb. 26, Monday to Friday, 8 am • Long Island City Public Library, 37-44 21 To the delight of all, Lionel trains to 8 pm; Saturday and Sunday 10 am to St. at 43rd Avenue. will journey along a 34-foot long, two- 6 pm. Free with museum admission. • Queens Village Public Library, 94-11 217 St. at 94th Avenue. (718) 776–6800. level, “O” gauge model train layout, Grand Central Terminal (89 E. 42nd St. • Ridgewood Public Library, 20-12 Madison departing from a miniature replica and Park Avenue in Midtown East, www. St. at Forest Avenue. (718) 821–4770. of Grand Central Terminal on its way nytransitmuseum.org/exhibits). • South Hollis Public Library, 204-01 Hollis Ave. at 204th Street. (718) 465–6779. • Woodside Library, 54-22 Skillman Ave. cal Garden, 2900 Southern Blvd. at Fordham out, departing from a miniature replica of (718) 429–4700. Road, The Bronx; (718) 817–8700; www. Grand Central Terminal on their way to the • Richmond Hill Branch, 118-14 Hillside Ave. nybg.org; Tuesdays – Sundays, 10 am to 5:30 North Pole. This year’s exhibit showcases Lio- 718) 849–7150. pm, Now – Mon, Jan. 16; $20 ($10 children) nel’s Grand Central Express, Metro-North, • South Jamaica Public Library Branch, 108- (Weekends ($30; $18 children). Pennsylvania Flyer, Polar Express, and vintage 41 Guy R. Brewer Blvd.. 718) 739–4088. More than 150 New York City landmarks subway train sets against a backdrop de- • South Ozone Park Public Library, 128-16 are recreated in miniature out of bark, nuts, signed for the Museum’s 40th anniversary. Rockaway Blvd. South. (718) 529–1660. leaves and other plant parts. Large-scale model trains zip around such familiar sites as Neiman Marcus Family Sundays: Nas- Further Afield the Statue of Liberty and Rockefeller Center. sau County Museum of Art, One Museum “All Aboard with Thomas and Reservations strongly recommended. Drive, Long Island; (516) 484–9338; nassau- Friends”: New York Botanical Garden, 2900 museum.org; Sunday, Jan. 8, 1 pm; Sunday, Train show at Grand Central: Grand Southern Blvd. at Fordham Road, The Bronx; Jan. 22, 1 pm; Sunday, Jan. 29, 1 pm; Sunday, Central Station, 42nd St. and Park Avenue, (718) 817–8700; www.nybg.org; Daily, vari- Feb. 5, 1 pm; Sunday, Feb. 12, 1 pm; Sunday, Manhattan; www.nytransitmuseum.org/ ous times, Now – Fri, Jan. 20; $30 ($28 se- Feb. 19, 1 pm; Sunday, Feb. 26, 1 pm; Mon- exhibits; Weekdays, 8 am to 8 pm, Saturdays niors & students), $18 children under 12. and Sundays, 10 am to 6 pm, Now – Sun, day, March 6, 1 pm; Sunday, March 26, 1 pm; Join Thomas and Driver Sam at the New Feb. 26; Free with museum admission. Free with museum admission. York Botanical Garden. Help Thomas find his The Fifth Annual Holiday Train Show is an Be inspired by the works in the galleries, way from Knapford Station to Brendam Docks iconic holiday image of a model train, whir- explore new art materials. Talk about and using teamwork, friendship, and discovery in ring by as it circles the base of a brightly-lit make art together. During the showing of this fun-filled sing-along, mini-performance ad- tree, evoking feelings of warmth and wonder Feast for the Eyes family art projects will draw venture. Bring your camera to have your photo in children and adults alike. To the delight of inspiration from the exhibition’s many works taken with Thomas after the performance. all, Lionel trains will journey along a 34-foot showing food and feasting, restaurants and Holiday Train Show: New York Botani- long, two-level, “O” gauge model train lay- dining. New projects featured every week.

26 queens Family • January 2017 First-date jitters Daughter’s first dance brings out mom’s teen nostalgia

By Kara Martinez BachMan

his weekend, I had the first-date jitters. My heart raced a little. My T hands shook. My nerves were on fire. As the big day neared, I had made sure everything was perfect. Shoe heels: high enough to be attractive, but not high enough to attract the wrong glances. Dress: Just the right amount of sparkle — but not too much! (Remember: there’s a fine, but very important, line between “Frozen” snow queen and over-the-top drag queen.) Makeup: just a touch, on the eyes only. When the day of the winter dance came, the big event was the first thought I had when waking up and the last I had before going to sleep. My daughter had a blast. Yeah, the big date was, of course, hers. At age 46 and married for more than 20 years, I’m a little old for first dates. And believe me, if for some reason I had one, I’d spend less time worrying about how I looked and more concerned with whether I’d brought a Tylenol, two antacid tablets, and if I’d make it home before the news started. When I was her age, there was no eighth-grade dance. Not the kind where anyone brought dates, at least. These days, though, things are different. Every- thing seems to happen at younger and younger ages. I wonder why that is, why there’s a mad rush on for childhood to start — and thus, end — sooner. Why? Does everyone want vously with her date and posed for a few report card, or wait on medical test re- to just “get it over with,” so our children awkward photos; when I adjusted her wrist sults, or when it’s almost midnight and our can move on to more important things, corsage — because it was too loose — and oldest child is still not home such as making money and continuing the felt a misty hint of tears well up; when she When the genie’s popped out of the competitive climb? left the house beaming, but returned say- bottle, all we can do is watch, wait, and go It’s sad to rush something so precious ing, “Well, that was okay, I guess. Nobody ahead and take those two antacid tablets, and brief. Rushing the years of first dates danced much … ”; the genie of nostalgia hoping she uses her three wishes wisely. and terrible, but exciting, kisses is a mis- was on the loose. Kara Martinez Bachman is author of the take. I look back on those times, and I wish In the end, her first date at winter dance humorous essay collection, “Kissing the Crisis: I could grab and hold them. I wish I could was more about the preparations than the Field Notes on Foul-mouthed Babies, Disen- bottle up those sweet teen days and set thing itself, just as it was for me back in chanted Women, and Careening into Middle the bottle (it would be pink) on my fire- the 1980s. Age.” She’s read her work on NPR, and it has place mantle. I wish, maybe every decade It was more about what was to come, appeared in dozens of magazines and news- or so, I could open the bottle and release a a reminder to me that I’d some day lose papers, including The Writer, Funny Times, the tiny whiff of carnation corsages and punch her, and a herald of all the dreams of most New Orleans Times-Picayune, and many more. bowl punch and let a bit of that genie out of every girl: marriage, children, friends, job. She is managing editor of Parents & Kids–Gulf the bottle. Just for a minute. And as every mom knows, our jitters may Coast, Parents & Kids–Pine Belt, and Parents & And that’s kind of what happened this momentarily subside as dance night winds Kids–MS Delta magazines in Mississippi. Find weekend. When my daughter stood ner- down, but still crop up when we open the out more at KaraMartinezBachman.com.

January 2017 • queens Family 27 ADVICE Mediation tackles income, expenses

ill and Angela, who we have been new things, because of how much she had following, are set to begin their grown over the summer. B second mediation session. They at- Angela says that she will look at her tended a consultation in November. In their statements for the past year and take the first mediation session in December, they average of that 12-month period. Bill agrees DIVORCE & addressed parenting issues. Now, they will to her suggestion. The mediator makes a begin to discuss financial matters. note to come back to this question. SEPARATION Angela asks if — since money will be LEE CHABIN, ESQ. Jan. 19 — Session 2 tight — Bill can cut down on his recre- The mediator asks Angela and Bill how ational spending. Bill bristles at first; but they and the children are, and whether looking at where his money goes, decides anything of note has happened since the this is reasonable. Bill says he can spend last session. a lot less on sporting events. He does a Can we do that?” The mediator gives the spouses a brief quick calculation, agreeing to reduce rec- Bill is still annoyed, but he also feels overview of Marital and Separate Property reational spending by 10 percent, starting that he is being heard by his wife. He (and Debts). this month. He believes that he can bring it agrees. They discuss what to do with the He then begins setting out Bill’s and down further, but feels comfortable start- money that will be saved. Bill wants to use Angela’s respective income and expenses. ing at 10 percent. it to pay down a credit card. Angela agrees [The mediator had e-mailed each of them The mediator, noticing Angela’s facial to this. a blank form asking for this information expression, asks if she wants to say some- Regarding the expense and income fig- after the first session, and both spouses thing. ures now displayed on the flipchart, the have filled it out.] This is done using a flip- She answers, “Well, I think Bill could spouses agree that the numbers are pretty chart, so that all three of them can see the do more here.” (Bill immediately becomes accurate. figures that the spouses supply. upset.) Bill raises a concern he has about the Bill questions why Angela is paying “But,” she adds, “Bill is willing to com- parenting agreement. He says that he has $400 a month for clothes for herself and mit to this, and says he’ll do more; I believe what is a minor change in mind that would the children. Bill isn’t angry, but thinks the that.” Turning to Bill, she says, “Maybe it’s allow him to spend more time with the chil- number is high. In discussing the matter, a good idea that you start with 10 percent; dren during the summer, if Angela would it turns out that Angela based her calcula- that way, you won’t feel deprived. If you be ok with it. Bill shares his thought. tion on her September credit card state- spent less now, you might hate it, and be Angela says that the change would be ment, which showed higher costs than angry with me, and we’d be worse off. So, alright with her, if another small change average due to purchasing back-to-school good. Do the 10 percent for now. Then, we can be made when it comes to the Thanks- clothing. Their daughter needed a lot of can talk about it again in a month or two. giving holiday break, starting the following year. Bill tells Angela that he is willing; while he likes the Thanksgiving break and doesn’t really want to change the schedule they had agreed to, the change over the summer is a much bigger deal to him. The session ends, with the spouses agreeing to complete the Asset/Debt forms for the next session. Next time: Assets (especially the house) and debts. New York City and Long Island-based divorce mediator and collaborative divorce law- yer Lee Chabin helps clients end their relationships respectfully and without going to court. Contact him at [email protected], (718) 229–6149, or go to http://lc-mediate. com /. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/lchabin .

Disclaimer: All material in this column is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.

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January 2017 • queens Family 29 This kid’s got chops NYC cooking prodigy tells us about his prize-winning dish

By Shnieka L. JohnSon

en’s Beginners is an interactive program and contest that aims to B make cooking an activity that bring families together. Offering a cash prize to kitchen-savvy kids, the contest is simple: submit a photo of you and your family making a rice-based dish together to the Uncle Ben’s rice company. Manhattan sev- enth grader and cooking prodigy Jesse Gunn did just that. His “Lop Chung Fried Rice” earned him $15,000 and an additional $30,000 for his school. Thanks to Gunn’s creativity in the kitchen, the East Side Community School will now have a lunchroom makeover. Gunn shared his experience with us. Shnieka Johnson: Who taught you to cook? Jesse Gunn: My dad taught me how to cook. His favorite thing to tell me is nothing is hard, you just have to try and learn Matt Hurst, Corporate Affairs Manager at Mars Food North America, and Ben’s Beginner’s recipe from your mistakes. He is not a chef, just a winner Jesse Gunn celebrate Jesse’s prize — $30,000 for his school’s lunchroom makeover. foodie. We spend a lot time together in the kitchen with me cooking and him cutting perimenting, but the most fun is when I do to help our school with the cafeteria make- onions and cleaning up after me, ha! We molecular gastronomy. It’s like doing sci- over and help promote healthier eating. work as a team. We get to talk about the ence, which is one of my favorite subjects. SJ: Do you want to go into culinary day, video games, our next projects, and SJ: Who do you cook with now? arts? things like that. JG: I cook with my dad and sometimes JG: At the moment, I have been asked SJ: At what age did you start cooking? my friends come over and they want to to do a series of cooking videos called JG: I started helping my dad in the learn how to make something. I have cook- “Recipes from the Studio.” kitchen when I was really young by stir- ing play dates, and I show them how to The guys Manny and Peter are great, I ring and mixing ingredients. Later on, make French macaroons, profiteroles, Chi- get to cook whatever I want. I am involved my dad got me interested in tasting new nese food, and other things. Other times in a lot of cool things in addition to cook- things. When I was 8, I used to watch “Bi- I cook with other chefs doing demos or ing. I love music and playing guitar. I am in zarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” and teaching classes. two bands right now, and we play out in began to start eating things like chicken SJ: What inspired your dish? nightclubs like the Bitter End, where Bob feet, tripe, snails, and frogs But I really JG: We came up with a lot of amazing Dylan and Janis Joplin used to play. I am got into cooking when I was 10. I had seen dishes, like rice pudding, crème brulee, also into building and designing drones. “MasterChef Junior,” and I saw how good mango sphere on top of coconut rice on I have been building them since I was 8 those kids were and was a little sad — I a bed of Crème Anglaise, but the rice dish years old and right now, I am the young- thought I could never be that good. But we posted, I think 15 minutes before the est professional drone training pilot in the my dad asked me if I would be interested contest ended, was Lop Chung fried rice world. I have trained more than 700 people in trying out. I said “no,” so he said, “ok, with transformation egg. What makes our how to fly a drone. I do this with the aerial well, I can teach you if you really want to fried rice different is that almost every sports league at the Maker Faires across do it.” So for the next six to seven months, fried rice dish uses a plain scrambled egg. the country. I was cooking with him three times a week. We put umami in ours. If you’re passionate about something Each week, it was always something differ- It is based on a Japanese dashimaki and put the time and work into it, no mat- ent and harder, reinforcing the basics and tamago-styled scramble egg, which is full of ter what it is — sports, science, music, art, learning new techniques. At the last min- umami, which totally changes the egg to a writing, school, or cooking — you will see ute, my dad entered me into “MasterChef.” I different flavor — sweet, salty, savory, sour results. Anyone can cook, you just have to lasted eight episodes and went out on team — and plays with your taste buds. The sec- get in the kitchen and start! challenge. Since the show, I have learned ond reason is anyone can make fried rice Shnieka L. Johnson is an education consul- and improved so much, and with cooking super easy and every ingredient is inter- tant and freelance writer. She is based in Man- you never stop learning! changeable, so if you don’t have Lop Chung hattan, where she resides with her husband SJ: Have you always enjoyed it? — Chinese sausage — you can use chicken and son. Contact her via her website: www. JG: Yes, I love trying new things and ex- or sausage beef. We really wanted to win shniekajohnson.com.

30 queens Family • January 2017 New & Noteworthy By Lisa J. Curtis Give boring Hot gift idea

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