Why the Hell Am I Doing This?
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The Origin of the Toilet Paper: How Soul on Fire Came To Be In January of 2013, I spent an hour on the phone with Darcie Rowan, Peter’s niece. The most memorable portion of this call was her words telling me, "Peter was clean and sober when he died, and he didn't die of a heart attack. We want your book to set the record straight." To say my heart quickened was an understatement. What had happened to Peter Steele? Darcie and I confirmed my trip to NY and NJ to meet with Peter Steele’s surviving sisters on Feb.9th. It was to be a day full of questions, laughter, tears and some great Italian food! While I was to be in the area, I would also meet with Monte Conner and Mark Abramson of Roadrunner Records. It is exciting and bittersweet all at once. At this point, I was merely dipping my toe into the Green Man’s life but I could already sense a presence of sorts. Maybe it was just imaginary, or maybe this is what happens when you become someone’s biographer. For the next 2 years, I would be eating, sleeping and drinking green and black. Back in NY and NJ everyone is gathering together their memorabilia and best memories of Peter. Back in NC I am busy organizing the book in my head, and preparing interview questions. Why the hell am I doing this? First, because I have been a fan of Peter’s special, singular creative vision since that great first Carnivore album was released in 1986. And I was fortunate to know the right people -- I was asking the right questions at the right moment in time. My History I’ve worked in the music business as a writer and record label dork for over 20 years now. A brief CV of my work goes something like this: college radio metal show; contributor to fanzines (including my own -where I once interviewed Peter and Josh); job at Relapse Records, job at Metal Maniacs, then Century Media, then The End Records, then back to Century Media, now at InsideOut. Amidst all this I wrote Mean Deviation, then contributed to a Rush book, and in between all those things I was steadily writing for magazines such as Terrorizer and Decibel and various online blogs. It’s been an awesome ride, taking the only thing I know for sure (that music is THE BEST) and turning it into a career. Back to the Story... In late 2012 I was contacted by a couple people close to Jon Nodtveidt, the late mastermind of influential Swedish death/black metal band Dissection. It was felt his story would make a compelling book, they thought I was the guy for the job, I agreed, and decided to roll up my sleeves and dive in. I was organizing the book one morning and, out loud to my girlfriend, and very organically, we both discussed prepping for writing the book by looking at some biographies about other great frontmen who had passed away. I wanted to figure out the proper approach and tone. Peter Steele came to mind instantly, but there was no book about him. There was a brief moment where I thought “THAT’S the book I want to write!” I was already a huge fan, and knew he had an amazing story that needed to be told. But I was committed to my Dissection project and set the idea aside. In the coming weeks the Dissection deal began to get complicated, mostly due to distance and a few other legal issues involving Jon’s murder trial, his time in prison and a very dangerous accomplice who is still out there, free. The book was becoming too dark and problematic, too quickly. I didn’t want to travel down that road – so instead I chose to put on bookshelves the world over the book on Peter Steele I felt was needed. The joke was on me. I pitched the idea to several publishers who turned it down. One even suggested there be a collaborative book, something that tied him in to the ‘90s decade, but that all sounded like uninteresting bullshit to me. I knew Peter deserved his own book. Another publisher wanted to focus on SXDXRNR –sex, drugs and rock n roll. Undoubtedly there is much to be told in Peter’s life with regards to drugs, tour stories and women, but that wasn’t the kind of book Peter deserved, and it wasn’t the type of book I wanted to write. Peter deserved a deeper survey of his work, mixed with personal stories, his struggles and his victories. He was an extraordinarily complicated and highly talented individual. His full creative life needed to be told. His entire story needed to be told. This was a man whose music changed my life, first in the escapist craziness of early Carnivore, and then the escapist revenge fantasies of early Type O Negative. He grew up and then out of the post-nuclear world of Soviet Brooklyn only to find that his girl was “fucking someone else,” and this emotionally distraught beast called Type O Negative grew and grew. His heart, his emotional body and his physical demi-God stature thrived by writing dark ballads of love and angst while covering songs and making them sound uniquely Type O – so good that they often deleted the original versions in terms of depth and character. So I called Monte Conner, an early ally of Peter’s at Roadrunner Records. Monte got me in touch with Peter’s surviving sisters. Despite any controversy, (and we’ve all heard the controversy and seen the video on YouTube), his family needed to participate. Then I got in touch with Mark Abramson of RR and he got me a list of other names. The ball was officially rolling. Now to reach out to the four members of Type O Negative. That didn’t go the way I’d hoped. Without naming names, one was very angry the family was involved. Angry they were not contacted first before the idea went live. Another was nearly in tears on the phone with me. Another just wanted to get on with their life and predicted the drama this book would create. They bowed out but not without it causing some drama. I was approached by Blabbermouth to report on the status of the book after one member of the band felt it was important to let everyone know that by “band members” being interviewed for the biography, this did not include the remaining four of TON. I let BM know the band didn’t wish to cooperate with the project but in print it read to me as if they were choosing to lash out instead of participate. Emotions were already high and things were tense. How could I write a book without his TON bandmates? Couldn’t they each just give me a one-hour interview? It was frustrating; I couldn't imagine why I wasn't being granted access. Life goes on. The book goes on. (One TON member did eventually contribute and helped fill in some holes and add to the commentary.) That’s the basic story about how I began creating Soul on Fire. Not all the timing has been perfect in regards to this book, but I’d rather the story of Peter Steele’s life and music be late, than not at all. In fact, for a while, early on, I wondered if maybe it was too soon? But no…I was a fan, a longtime, respectful, admiring fan, first and foremost. I wanted this book done right, and I wanted it out there NOW. So I made it happen. Despite the dramas, there’s a certain kind of appropriateness that the book whipped up a few shitstorms of controversy. I mean, consider the subject, right? .