Download (2MB)
Total Page：16
File Type：pdf, Size：1020Kb
THE FEMININE FACE OF DESTINY: AN ECOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE by ANINHA ESPERANZA LIVINGSTONE A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY IN PSYCHOLOGY MERIDIAN UNIVERSITY 2012 Copyright by ANINHA ESPERANZA LIVINGSTONE 2011 THE FEMININE FACE OF DESTINY: AN ECOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE by ANINHA ESPERANZA LIVINGSTONE A dissertation submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY IN PSYCHOLOGY MERIDIAN UNIVERSITY 2012 This dissertation has been accepted for the faculty of Meridian University by: ___________________________________________________ Shoshana Fershtman, Ph.D. Dissertation Chair ___________________________________________________ Aftab Omer, Ph.D. Dissertation Advisor ____________________________________________________ Melissa Schwartz, Ph.D. Academic Dean I dedicate this work to the earth and her infinite wisdom in hopes that the many hours I spent writing may ultimately serve her and all of life. May I know myself as you, and bear the fruit of the flower that I am. v ABSTRACT THE FEMININE FACE OF DESTINY: AN ECOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE by Aninha Esperanza Livingstone Women who dare to follow their dreams encounter both internal and external obstacles. This study proposed the research problem: What imaginal structures arise for women when engaging their destiny? The hypothesis was: Women who are challenged in engaging their calling have a deficient relationship with the positive aspects of the Mother and Father face of the Friend, or the feminine and masculine principles. The literature review considered women’s relationship with destiny from an ecological perspective. Women’s development and process of forming identity were explored, as were obstacles to success. Destiny was presented from various perspectives including psychological, mythic and ecological. Lastly, ecopsychology, deep ecology and ecofeminism were presented. The literature revealed a lack of inquiry into women’s relationship to calling from a soul-centered and ecopsychological perspective. The methodology for this study employed Imaginal Inquiry, utilizing its four phases: evoking, expressing, interpreting, and integrating experience. The primary affects evoked were fear, shame, and grief. Eight participants met for the study, while five attended the second integrative meeting. Utilizing expressive arts, journaling, nature- based inquiry and a women’s circle, participants explored their relationship to their calling. vi The study’s cumulative learning was: The retrieval of the instinctual body in community and nature functions to free women from affective barriers, allowing more ease in claiming one’s calling as both process and product. Five learnings emerged. First, cultural reference points breed fixed and product-oriented views of the self, while nature generates a more fluid and process-oriented view. Second, women are prone to becoming paralyzed in relation to their calling when challenged to take risks that require a greater valuing of themselves, their dreams, and their needs. Third, participants’ obstacles were rooted in shame which inhibited them from expressing their authentic gifts in the world, for fear of re-experiencing childhood wounding. Fourth, women who are blocked in their calling as a result of a deficient relationship with the positive aspect of the feminine and masculine principles can develop capacities of both, through engaging their ecological imagination. And lastly, suppressed grief can block calling and lead to isolation, whereas grief and longing that is named and expressed within a collective can facilitate women reclaiming their instinctual energies, which supports calling. The study’s learnings were reflected through the Jewish mystic creation story of Tikkun Olam, which speaks to the unification of the feminine and masculine principles, and the need for each individual to acknowledge their brokenness, and bring forth their divine spark in order to restore the world. vii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I could not have accomplished this without my ancestors who contributed to both the wisdom and suffering I carry, which inform my unique fate and destiny. I am grateful to my maternal great, great grandfather who speaks through old photographs and reminds me that I am holding a thread of wisdom that he tended, and that I must tend as well. I am enormously grateful to my family who supported my long hours of writing. I thank my husband Olivier who supported me in both traditional and non-traditional ways; not only did he support me financially, but he also took on much more at home so that I could pursue this aspect of my calling. He is the wind beneath my wings! I thank my children Amber and Stephan. They rarely complained about this endeavor, seeming to know its importance to me. I hope that the pursuit of my dreams will serve them in staying close to their own golden thread. I thank my mentors Marti Spiegelman who awakened my indigenous soul, and the shaman within, and Bill Plotkin who helped me integrate this awakening so that I could walk in humility and wholeness. My deep gratitude to Aftab Omer whose soul-centered approach to psychology made it possible for me to enter this field and remain congruent with my deepest values. My heart sings when I think of Melissa Schwartz who made me feel at home from the moment I met her. I appreciate her ability to make the scholarly feel within reach. I am blessed to have had Lisa Chipkin and Darryl Centers at my side when the technological demands of this great task were at hand. viii Lastly, I am also grateful to the spirit of the land where I live, who received and regenerated me throughout this process. ix CONTENTS ABSTRACT . v ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS . vii LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS . xiv Chapter 1. INTRODUCTION . 1 Research Topic Relationship to the Topic Theory-in-Practice Research Problem and Hypothesis Methodology and Research Design Learnings Significance and Implications of the Study 2. LITERATURE REVIEW . 19 Introduction and Overview Women’s Adult Development Women’s Obstacles to Success Destiny Ecopsychology x Imaginal Psychology Conclusion 3. METHODOLOGY . 101 Introduction and Overview Participants Four Phases of Imaginal Inquiry 4. LEARNINGS . 119 Introduction and Overview Cumulative Learning: Her Earth Body Retrieved, Her Calling Awakened Learning One: Looking at Destiny through Nature-Colored Glasses Learning Two: When Calling is Held Hostage Learning Three: Shame as a Portal to Destiny Learning Four: Wild Loss Grieved Feeds the Soil of Calling Learning Five: Intimacy with Nature and the Inner Marriage Conclusion 5. REFLECTIONS . 182 Introduction Significance of the Learnings Mythic and Archetypal Reflections Implications of the Study xi Appendix 1. ETHICS APPLICATION . 199 2. CONCEPTUAL OUTLINE . 209 3. CHRONOLOGICAL OUTLINE . 212 4. INFORMED CONSENT . 216 5. WORD OF MOUTH ADVERTISEMENT . 218 6. INITIAL EMAIL AND INTERNET ADVERTISEMENT . 219 7. FLYER ADVERTISEMENT . 220 8. DESCRIPTION OF IDEAL PARTICIPANT . 222 9. INITIAL EMAIL CONTACT . 223 10. INITIAL PHONE CONTACT . 224 11. SCREENING CONTACT . 225 12. SCREENING QUESTIONS . 226 13. ACCEPTING PARTICIPANTS . 228 14. REJECTING PARTICIPANTS . 229 15. ACCEPTANCE LETTER . 230 16. TELEPHONE REMINDER . 232 17. NATURE OF STUDY AND REQUEST TO SIGN CONSENT FORM . 233 18. LOGISTICS, CONFIDENTIALITY, AND DESCRIPTION OF ACTIVITIES . 235 19. INVOCATION . 236 xii 20. SPEAKING NAMES INTO THE CIRCLE . 238 21. INSTRUCTIONS: CREATION OF ALTAR OF CALLINGS . 239 22. INSTRUCTIONS: AS IF LIVING MY CALLING . 240 23. INSTRUCTIONS: CREATION OF ALTAR OF OBSTACLES . 241 24. BREAK . 242 25. DRAWING THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE CALLING AND THE OBSTACLE . 243 26. EXPRESSING ABOUT DRAWING TO GROUP . 244 27. INSTRUCTIONS: LETTER FROM THE CHILD SELF . 245 28. LUNCH BREAK . 246 29. INSTRUCTIONS: DRIVING TO OUTDOORS LOCATION . 247 30. PREPARATORY GUIDED MEDITATION . 248 31. INSTRUCTIONS: FINDING A SYMBOL OF YOUR SOUL . 249 32. INSTRUCTIONS: WRITINGS FROM THE EARTH . 250 33. LETTER FROM THE EARTH GROUP SHARING . 251 34. INSTRUCTIONS: SEEKING A NATURE SYMBOL OF THE OBSTACLE . 252 35. JOURNALING WITH OBSTACLE . 253 36. INSTRUCTIONS: DRIVING BACK TO COMMON WELL . 254 37. AFTERNOON BREAK . 255 38. INSTRUCTIONS: EXPRESSION OF OBSTACLE WITH AESTHETIC RESPONSE . 256 xiii 39. INSTRUCTIONS: EXPRESSION OF THE CALLING WITH AESTHETIC RESPONSE . 257 40. JOURNALING ABOUT ACTION, OBSTACLE AND ALLY . 258 41. GROUP SHARING ABOUT AN ACTION AND AN ALLY . 259 42. CLOSING: A SENTENCE FROM THE VOICE OF THE ALLY . 260 43. RELEASE OF THE DIRECTIONS . 261 44. NEXT STEPS AND CLOSING . 263 45. OPENING OF SECOND MEETING . 264 46. INSTRUCTIONS: JOURNAL ABOUT KEY MOMENTS . 265 47. GROUP SHARING OF KEY MOMENTS . 266 48. PRESENTATION OF PRELIMINARY FINDINGS . 267 49. GROUP DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS . 268 50. BREAK . 269 51. FINAL JOURNALING . 270 52. FINAL SHARING . 271 53. CLOSING: PLANTING A SEED OF INTENTION . 272 54. CLOSING COMMENTS . 273 55. SUMMARY OF DATA . 274 56. SUMMARY OF LEARNINGS . 289 NOTES . 293 REFERENCES . 315 xiv LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS Figure Page Illustration 1 – Julianna’s Drawing . 136 Illustration 2 – Cynthia’s Drawing . 137 Illustration 3 – Molly’s Drawing . 138 Illustration 4 – Bernadette’s Drawing . 139 Illustration 5 – Martina’s Drawing . 140 Illustration 6 – Ariana’s Drawing . 141 Illustration 7 – Laurel’s Drawing . 142 Illustration 8 – Naomi’s Drawing . 143 1 CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION Research Topic An exploration of women and the obstacles they face to engaging their destiny is the