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NON-BINARY IN THE SOUTH RENAE TAYLOR isn’t as black and white as people think; there judge you by your presentation. I love graphic tee shirts are gray areas within gender. There are (and always have and girl jeans; that is my aesthetic. Some days being me been) many people who have existed outside of the strict is easy, and some days it is disheartening. There are days categories of male or . Diff erent cultures from all where I can’t get my groceries bagged. Once you identify over the world have embraced more than two . as trans or non-binary, some people want to see you in [See the box below.] I never felt fully male or female, but a a dress and with a hairstyle. People often ask me blending of the masculine and feminine in one vessel. I am why I don’t wear dresses. I’m sometimes uncomfortable non-binary in a culture that sees everyone as being one of wearing dresses in public. It’s not that I’m embarrassed; it’s two – male and female. about the negative attention I may get. I don’t always have access to a vehicle It’s okay I spend a lot of my time trying to and public transpor- inform people about what it means to tation is a no-no for not to un- be non-binary. I get mis-gendered a lot me. when I’m out in the community. My pro- derstand. nouns refl ect my . I ask I have some family people to use “They, Them, and Their” who support me, and when they refer to me. Being non-binary I have some family is a valid gender identity. More and more people are com- who still call me by ing out as feeling non-binary. We have a right to express my birth name. I ourselves as we see fi t. People might not understand these ignore it because it feelings, because they are . It’s okay not to under- doesn’t truly aff ect stand. Understanding is not a prerequisite for accepting my happiness with someone as they say they are. who I am. Sometimes, 2 I believe not communicating with relatives that don’t get I used to think of myself as a “gender bender” or me is important for my personal sanity. It’s better for me to androgynous. I didn’t even know the diff erent terms to de- be in a community of like-minded people. They help me scribe what I was feeling. When I was a child, people often stay grounded and help me continue with the work being thought I was female. In my early teens, I started to cross- done. Every now and then, I’m surprised by someone dress. I’m originally from a small town in Mississippi. My life telling me I make a diff erence in their life or they appreci- was very problematic. Children teased me for not being ate me for what I do in our community. Getting positive masculine. I left high school in eleventh grade and moved affi rmation helps me know I’m doing the right thing. away from home. I lived with my favorite aunt, who was more accepting, and she encouraged me to be who I am. Renae Taylor is a 41-year-old non-binary trans person of

color living in Memphis. They are an activist, advocate, HIV WHOLENESS RECLAIMING Here in Memphis, which is the buckle of the Bible belt, educator, author and speaker. They give a voice to the voice- it is hard existing outside of the . People less, and they are seeking equality and social equity for all.

LEARN THESE WORDS

GENDER: the social roles, behaviors, and activities : when a person has both male and that defi ne men and women. female biological characteristics. About 1.7% of the population is intersex. : the biological characteristics that defi ne men and women. : someone whose gender iden- tity does not correspond with the gender they were BINARY: a system that involves two things (such assigned at birth. as men and women). Non-binary is a system with more than two things (such as men, women, intersex people, CISGENDER: this term describes people who etc.). A non-binary person is someone who doesn’t identify with the gender they were given at birth. identify as one sex or another.

For more resources visit: http://www.transstudent.org

The Change Agent/SONG Special Issue— March 2017 23