THE RETRIEVER FEATURES December 5, 1995 PAGE 13 Must-See Movies for the Holidays MAX ALERT AND JOLT

Gregory Norris Ride the Caffeine Train to a Sleepless Exam Week Retriever Staff Writer and unknown world of chemical my face, and if I did, would it look Karen Keys combinations. It's a decision every- Retriever Editorial Staff cool, or would people laugh? I de- With the holiday season upon us one must make on his own. Maybe cided it would all depend who found and movies flooding our theaters, it you've ridden that caffeine train be- me — friend, foe, or suitemate. is important to know which flicks to Finals are quickly approaching fore — Vivarin, Coke, coffee, Moun- Friends would probably cry, but spend those dollars on. Unfortu- and teachers are squeezing in the tain Dew and suddenly it all means knowing the amount of non-over-the- nately, there are four very good mov- last of papers and tests, so Auntie nothing. You no longer get the same counter drugs they've done, would ies out there right now, and all Karen is here again to share her high, the same energy. It's time to enjoy the squiggles and my face and deserve to be seen on the big screen. stay-awake knowledge. A note of move on, it's time to begin. comment how fitting it was that was The comedy, the action adventure, warning though, if you're the way I would leave this the surprise thriller, and the Disney caffeine-free and like to use world of impending doom and movie. natural methods — such as oblivion. sleep, a healthy diet, and ex- "At this point in your life, you may Enemies would laugh and Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls ercise to stay awake — this not be ready to dabble into the laugh and laugh. I could hear is not the advice you need. I their sinister giggles in my The comedy is the latest Jim admire people like this, re- wacky and unknown world of head and I thought about how Carrey movie, Ace Ventura II: ally I do. They can live in chemical combinations." I would haunt them and wreck When Nature Calls. There isn't their powder blue ranch — havoc on, their life. Ha ha. My much that can be said about this houses with a white picket suitemate would probably be movie that Carrey himself hasn't. fence and 2.5 children and leave You're ready for something stron- relieved that the phone was finally Carrey says it is a rip-off of many me to indulge in my addictions. ger, something new, you've been free and tell all her friends about the of the old Ace gags, it's stupid, and First go to your local 7-11 or searching. Search no more. indents on my face, and I would be- you should go see it. Royal Farms and buy Max Alert The main ingredient in Max Alert come just a character in a story, no I agree with all of those statements. and Jolt. Jolt can be purchased for is pseudo-ephedrine hypochloride, a longer a person. In the beginning, Carrey spoofs 60 cents in the Yum Shoppe and nice little non-sleep inducing over- Anyway ... Jolt is simply a bever- Cliffhanger by rescuing a raccoon Max Alerts are 99 cents for six tab- the-counter drug. Do not take this if age that contains twice the caffeine from a/mountain ledge. While going lets. Not a whole lot of money to you plan to sleep any time soon, it of normal soda, which is about across the wire from one cliff to an- pay for all the joy and satisfaction will keep you up for a long time. I 1 OOmg of caffeine. Coffee drinkers other, the raccoon falls to its death. you'll receive. once took three at 11 P.M. and I didn't can translate this to about one cup Max Alert and Jolt make the per- feel sleepy until 6 or 7 hours later. I Carrey is so overwhelmed with guilt ©The Walt Disney Company. All Rights Reserved. of joe, while Vivarin users can trans- that he spoofs another Stallone fect combination, a sort of store- made the mistake of thinking I was late this to about half a pill. In and The rivalry between two toys -- a traditional cowboy doll named movie, Rambo II; Carrey goes to re- bought yin and yang, providing all sleepy and tried to lay down and all I of itself, it's a nice waker-upper but Woody and Buzz Lightyear, a flashy new space ranger action figure side in a Buddhist monastery. the necessary elements for a happy, did was think and think and think. For over-indulgence will cause loss of — leads to comic complications in Walt Disney's Pictures' Here is where Carrey really pulls meaningful life. Max Alert can three hours I laid in my dorm bed concentration and stomach upset. I delightfully irreverent new animated comedy adventure, Toy Story. on the old Ace strings. His room is cause you to become a little dazed under my fuzzy green velour blan- must say, Jolt allows for more activ- full of animals, he is meditating, and bumbling, funny, and at times, mo- tempts to tell the police, he tries to and confused, so the 12 oz. of pure ket in a trance. ity, while Max Alert allows for ex- refuses to leave his new life of soli- ronic younger brother. What a stretch, call for help, and he panics. Every- energy in Jolt will counter balance I thought about how the coils of tremely focused, sometimes off-beat tude, much to the dismay of the for both. where he turns, Walken is there to this side effect. Too much Jolt may the bed bunked above me made nifty- thought. monks. Finally, he's offered $25,000 As Harrelson's first action-oriented stop him. Gene is portrayed so well invoke jitteriness and the Max patterns and wondered if the pins Do one, do both, either way the to scour Africa to recover an animal movie (The Cowboy Way doesn't by Depp that the audience switches Alert helps one to maintain a clear holding the bed in place would fall results will be a happy, joyful, lost by an ancient African tribe. count because it was barely a movie, places with him and feels as if they train of thought and enlightenment. out, crushing me to my death. And awake student who is now able Once in Africa, he finds out it's a let alone action), and he does a fabu- are running against the clock. At this point in your life, you may when they pulled the bed off of me, to study for exams, write papers, bat! "Large rodent with wings," is lous job as Snipes' sidekick. Snipes The clock is another interesting not be ready to dabble into the wacky would I have those little imprints on and take over the world. how he refers to it. He is taken in to welcomed doing this movie after part of the movie. Every five min- the good graces of the tribe that's To Wong Foo, Thanks for Every- utes, the screen flashes to a clock, thing, Julie Newmar since there watch, or digital monitor. At first, it looking for their sacred bat, only af- m m • ter a loogey spitting ceremony. was gossip that he was comfortable is annoying, but you come to rely

(Don't take any tapioca pudding with filming it, and an action movie upon it, even want it. The other thing •i made him feel better — it's the tes- is that this clock is real time. The you, I'm warning you now.) 1 ... # Carrey once again proves he is the tosterone thing (only men can pre- whole process takes over one hour % - reigning King of Comedies in the tend they understand). and 45 minutes. The clock is not a \ '90s with this sequel. The interest- The two are New York City transit "movie time" clock where a one • ing thing is that the talk around Para- cops as part of a squad that is "un- minute flashback can take two and a mount Studios is that Carrey is dercover." They act drunk, dress like half hours. The accuracy is delight- n / • rr ... looking for a serious role — possibly tellers, etc. They bust the lowlife fully pleasing. a thriller — in the near future. He is that rip-off drunks and try to steal Depp may as well have proven even willing to take a large pay cut money from tellers. Then the twist himself to be another of the ambi- comes in and the movie slows dextrous actors. Funny, upsetting, (under one million for the whole m ^ thing) to do so. Let's hope he down drastically, just like in White happy, and actionable. He is defi- doesn't travel down the same road Men Can't Jump. nitely one of the most underrated that Robin Williams traveled — A woman enters the picture. We get actors in his time. * from comic actor to Comic Relief a tired Hollywood scenario: The ^ Wr and not much more. brothers fight over her. Yawn. The Toy Story The movie is dumb; it is slapstick good part of the twist is how the mob f funny. It should be appreciated for is involved. No singing! No singing! An ani- — (\M what it is: regurgitation. The writers Of the 110 minutes of the film, mated Disney movie by any other Photo by David Lee chewed up and spit out the original maybe 15 are the money train chase. name is a musical, especially if it John (Wesley Snipes) and Charlie (Woody Harrelson) turn the tables on would-be muggers. Ace and When Nature Calls is the Don't worry, those scenes are worth is going to gross millions. Well, it's product. Funny and hilarious at waiting for. Woody and Wesley time to break the mold in several and gorge on popcorn and Goobers. times, but lacking coherence. Don't prove, once again, white men can aspects. This movie has no singing, do, too. news shows and TV dramas, but put Where is the best place to go? Read go see it for quality, see it for a good jump. The movie has some tired sce- it's computer animated, and it Basically, Toy Story is the movie you reality on hold. Put your feet up on the chair in front of you. Laugh out loud The Retriever next week to get the laugh. narios, but the actors never struggle makes a reference to light beer. must see. The holiday season is full of in their ability to bring to life one of Disney is really trying to attract an scoop on the best theaters in Baltimore. Money Train the better Die Hard-esque movies of adult audience. the year. Tim Allen, Tom Hanks, John Crowded Choir Practices Money Train is Wesley Snipes and Ratzenberger (Cheers' Cliff Claven) Woody Harrelson's third movie to- Nick of Time are just some of the voices that grace cal Engineering student, but with bly a Baltimore area premiere. From CHOIR, Page 12 gether. Everyone knows the second our ears. They help to bring to life her unusual combination of stud- was White Men Can 'tJump. But who Although Nick of Time has an awk- the characters a bit more, and con- ies, she is actually typical of the The choir's Winter Concert is De- knows the first film the two appeared ward name, bordering on dumb, it tinue the new Disney direction of noted Mrs. Dykstra. She aims to makeup of the choir. cember 11 at 8 RM. at the Charles- in together? Wildcats starring Goldie debuted in the top five movies of the having Big Name Actors be cartoon make each individual as good as they Last year, there were 11 different ton Retirement Community. It is Hawn, the story of a high school foot- week, and is possibly Johnny Depp's character's voices. can be and nation- recommended that concert-goers ar- ball team. The two were a great com- finest "acting" job. He is not weird, The computer animation in won- then better. alities rive at least 20 minutes before edy team in the first couple of unstable, or a teenage cop. He is a derful. It encompasses the eyes and Amanda "The choir also has another unique repre- showtime for parking and seating. movies, but can they prove them- dad who loves his daughter. wraps up the senses of wonder and Fabula is one quality: they are a family.,» sented selves as an action team? Yes. Christopher Walken plays the man imagination. The audiences are never of those stu- in the The funniest part of the movie is that ensnares Gene Watson (Depp) in fooled about this being a cartoon, but dents. choir, that Snipes and Harrelson are broth- his plan to assassinate the mayor by the reality of the computer world Amanda has always been involved and they did holiday carols from nine writers ers. Everyone makes jokes about it. threatening to kill Depp's daughter. He compared to that of the real world in choir, but not here at UMBC. of those countries. This year, they The story is that they are foster broth- gives Watson passes, itinerary, and a trend to cross hairs through out. It's She has excelled faster than any of will perform "Silent Night," but half ers. Snipes is the responsible, action gun, and then puts him on his way. believable that these toys do come to Dykstra's other students, after only of the tune will be sung in Korean. oriented big brother. Harrelson is the Gene follows all the avenues that life and some folks will probably two semesters. Amanda will be per- They will also do carols in Finnish, writers the average person would. He at- want to run home to see if their toys forming at a recital as she has been Hebrew, and Latin. But their finale studying Voice privately with will certainly leave favorable impres- Dykstra. Once she graduates she sions on all who attend their winter hopes to stay on with the choir concert. Their last piece will be writers through Continuing Studies. Most "Hodie" by Z. Randle Stroope, and interestingly, Amanda is a Chemi- the three movement piece is possi- writers dtmm writers writers CUSTOM PBINTCD: T-SHIRTS sweatshirts jackets Pr»m»liwial il«ras writers ARTISTS ON STAFF 79tH Awiyeut Scnee*tpnUtt&i CK t6e (}ouHt*y writers

Copyright © 1995 by Paramount Pictures. Photo by Bruce W. Talamon. Ubst 4220 VORK RORD BRLTI/vVDR€ MD 21212 Mysterious operative Mr. Smith (Christopher Walken, background) punishes Gene Watson (Johnny wanted Depp) for trying to wriggle free from an assassination plot in the suspense thriller Nick of Time. 1-800-234-T€€S, FRX (41 O) 366-8659

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