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A Message from Rabbi Schuck NOVEMBER 2013 5774 CHESVAN/KISLEV A Message from Rabbi Schuck Dear Friends, In an engaging and lively interview, the Lutheran minis- It is precisely when people are happy and satisfied with ter Nadia Bolz-Weber discussed the phenomenon that the synagogue that we ought to ask them to commit to within religious communities, people often feel hurt by addressing their objections when we fail to meet their the pastor and let down by the community. It’s natural, needs. Synagogues make mistakes. After all, the commu- maybe even inevitable. In human relationships there will nity is comprised of human beings. I will also disappoint be moments of disappointment, and this is all the more you. But I can guarantee that when I, or the synagogue true in religious communities because our expectations leadership hurts your feelings, it will be unintentional. are so high. We expect synagogue or church communi- Knowing this may not hurt any less, but it ought to cre- ties to behave in ways that exemplify our religious doc- ate an opening for dialogue. trines and teachings, and when they hurt us, the pain can feel more magnified. Out of respect for the relationships that we all share and work hard to cultivate, let’s make a commitment to So what happens after someone is hurt? openly grapple with our disappointments when we ex- perience them. It is often easier to send a nasty email or Some people feel so disheartened that they begin to gossip with a friend about the ways that the synagogue back away from the community, or they begin to dispar- behaved poorly. It may even feel better in the moment. age the community to other individuals who will listen. But when we are productive with our frustration we ac- Others deal with their disappointment head on, discuss- tually bring healing into our relationships and thus ing their feelings and experience with the clergy or lay strengthen our community. leadership. Needless to say, the former is easier, but it almost never leads to healing. The pride that we feel about belonging to this commu- nity should generate enough goodwill to support difficult Pastor Bolz-Weber openly discusses this phenomenon. conversations. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to take At programs in which her church welcomes new mem- that first step. bers she says to them, “I'm glad you love it here, but..at some point, I will disappoint you or the church will let L’shalom, you down. Please decide on this side of that happening… [that] after it happens, you will still stick around. Be- cause if you leave, you will miss the way that God's grace comes in and fills in the cracks of our brokenness. And it's too beautiful to miss. Don't miss it.” Her descrip- Rabbi David A. Schuck tion of Grace may be very Christian, but the exhortation to work through the inevitable grievances that her pa- rishioners have is universally applicable to religious com- munities. From the Editor …. As the Pelham Jewish Center completes its first ever comprehensive Strategic Planning, and the leadership works hard to fashion vision, mission and values’ statements that reflect the aspirational goals of our growing and dynamic mem- bership, so the monthly Hakol is looking ahead. Our goals are to re-think, re-design and re-work the Hakol over time, with a new look and feel, new columns, and a fresh perspective on how it can best serve as a reflection of our unique, intimate, forward-thinking synagogue. For the Hakol this is, by definition, a work in progress … changes will be tried and kept, others will disappear quickly! We hope to experiment with new approaches and new styles, and we urge you to offer feedback in a constructive and positive spirit. In the weeks and months ahead, we will also be working on upgrading and enhancing our website, www.thepjc.org, and we will keep you posted here and in Weekly Announcements of new features. PJC members come from a variety of backgrounds, and have wide ranging experiences and knowledge of Judaism. All are welcome. I urge you to come, to show up, to share our wonderful home, come for Shabbat services or holidays, to pray, sing, eat, and find companionship. You can always catch up with old friends and quickly make new ones too. Our members - like you and I - are committed to getting to know and supporting one another, and sharing important mo- ments and meaningful conversations. Bring your children too - it’s hard to imagine a better place for our young people to grow up - in a synagogue they truly can call their own, with friends of all ages, in a setting beyond compare. Just come! I hope to see you soon, Jack Klebanow The Pelham Jewish Center 451 Esplanade Board of Directors Pelham Manor, NY 10803 President Kate Lauzar Phone: 914-738-6008 Executive Vice President Hildy Martin Fax: 914-931-2199 Treasurer Melanie Samuels Email: [email protected] Secretary Rhonda Singer Web: www.thepjc.org Religious Practices Steve Martin Clergy and Staff Membership Sandy Angevine Rabbi David Schuck Social Action Rachel Collens Ana Turkienicz, Education Director Fundraising Lisa Daley Adam Bukowski, Caretaker House Darren Lee Kim Lewis, Office Manager Communications Jack Klebanow Learning Center Liz Tzetzo The PJC is affiliated with The United Youth Programming Michelle Dvorkin Synagogue of Conservative Judaism Family Programming Gabrielle Sasson The HAKOL is published 11 times per year. Sub- PROGRAM COORDINATORS missions are due by the 15th of the month pre- B’nei Mitzvah Project Cheryl Goldstein ceding publication. Please send articles via Continuing Education Jeanne Radvany email to Kim Lewis at [email protected], with Hakol Kim Lewis copies to [email protected]. Kiddush Coordinator Leah Leonard 2 A WORD FROM THE PRESIDENT In the parlor meetings that were conducted as part of the local retreat for a Sunday afternoon in December to make Strategic Planning process, there were 2 key data points the space to explore these issues together as a leadership collected that revealed areas that needed further work. team. One was communication and the other was a feeling of disconnection from the work of the Board. In an effort to Giving each Board member expanded support for daily address these weaknesses, I would like to take this oppor- operations in his/her area will allow the entire Board to tunity to give you an update on the "state of the Board". concentrate a greater por- tion of its work together Historically, the Board has been used as a large commit- on substantive core and tee. In past years, each chairperson would report on the longer-term issues. With business in his/her area and use the larger group as a fo- the findings from the Stra- rum in which to conduct that chair's ongoing business. In tegic Planning process now this operational mode, the Board used its time almost in hand, clearly indicating exclusively on mechanics and execution of events and decisions that need to be programs, which left almost no time to delve into the made, we find ourselves in deeper, core questions of purpose, and how-- or whether- the exact right moment to - the events and programs being planned supported and devote time to discussions gave expression to who we are. of foundational questions and core beliefs. The shift This year, we have undertaken an important shift of prior- in the way the Board uses ity in how we are using the Board's time. In a fundamental its time will afford the op- shift, we are embarking on a course of reimagining how portunity to do exactly that. the Board will do its work. We have started by making a As we look toward sustaining the PJC well into the future, structural change in how we conduct daily affairs. As men- it is important that we anchor our community in a mean- tioned in last month's HAKOL, we are in the process of ingful, resonant purpose. It is important to share honest creating a team structure supporting each Chair in his/her conversations about how we can: continue to be a vibrant operational area. Each team, together with the Chair, will hub of engaged Jewish life; offer a safe and sacred space handle the decision making and execution of business in for individuals to explore their spirituality; provide mean- that area of responsibility. Chairs will keep the full Board ingful experiences and opportunities for connection; ac- informed as needed, but will not conduct lengthy reviews tualize the vision of who we are, and who we aspire to of the details of the team's operations at each board be, in our every day communal life.These issues are com- meeting as a matter of course. plex, yet essential to wrestle with if we want to remain vital and fresh. We expect that this shift will take some time to put fully into practice, and hope to have all teams in place by the We believe this new model will strengthen the efficient start of the new year. At this writing, Learning Center, Re- running of the business of the synagogue, while also en- ligious Practice and Social Action have fully formed teams. suring our long-term health and continued vibrancy. As The other areas are actively seeking team members: Com- leaders of our very special community, we feel energized munications, Finance, Fundraising, House(facilities), by this new course, and look forward to the work before Young Family Programming and Youth Programming. us. In addition to the structural change, we are beginning a P.S.
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