VOLUME XXIV

T H E V I E W

NEWSLETTER OF THE RI DGEVIEW ALUMNI ASSOCIATION STEERING COMMITTEE

H.A.L.T. (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired)

S T O R I E S B Y

Johnny L. 3

Maureen M. 4

John W. 4

George M. 5

John W. 6

Bill 7

Terri L’H. 9

Doug F. 10

Tom S. 10

Mary R. 11

Anonymous 11

Anonymous 12

Steven F. 13

Puzzle 14

John W. 16

T H E R I D G E V I E W A L U M N I ASSOCIATION 3995 SOUTH C O B B D R I V E S M Y R N A G A 30080 T H E V I E W PAGE 2

U PCOMING E VENTS

6:30pm Friday, May 30, 2014 Ala-Non Speaker Meeting—Day Hospital Spring Fling Weekend 8:00pm Friday, May 30, 2014 AA Speaker Meeting—Day Hospital 12:00 noon Sunday, June 1, 2014 Alumni “Carnival” Event—Tennis / Pool Area Golf Tournament 8:00am Monday, June 2, 2014 Towne Lake Hills Golf Club—Woodstock, GA 1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm June 6, 2014 Day Hospital 1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm July 11, 2014 Day Hospital White Water Rafting 8:00am Sunday, July 20, 2014 Meet @ Pro North—Quest Expeditions—Ocoee, TN Atlanta Round Up Thursday, July 31, 2014 Westin Atlanta Perimeter North

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm August 1, 2014 Day Hospital

Summer Retreat 4:00pm Friday, August 8, 2014 Camp Donnie Brown

Allatoona Round Up Friday, August 15, 2014 Hilton Garden Inn—Cartersville

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm September 5, 2014 Day Hospital

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm October 3, 2014 Day Hospital Men’s Workshop Friday, October 2014 Rock Eagle

Georgia Pre-Paid Thurs., October 16, 2014 Jekyll Island Women’s Workshop Friday, October 2014 Rock Eagle—Date TBD

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm November 1, 2014 Day Hospital

Bowl—A—Thon 10:00am Sat. November 2014 Place & Date TBD

Gratitude Dinner 5:00pm Sun, November 24, 2014 Gym

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm December 6, 2014 Day Hospital

Scottish Rite Santa 7:00am Thurs, Dec. 25, 2014 Scottish Rite Children’s Hospital

New Years Eve Dance 8:00pm Wed., Dec. 31, 2014 Gym

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm January 2, 2015 Day Hospital

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm February 6, 2015 Day Hospital

1st Friday Speaker Meeting 7:45pm March 6, 2015 Day Hospital

This issue, as well as archival copies, are available on our website at www.ridgeviewalumni.com. The Newsletter will be in an Adobe PDF format, our website will link to download the FREE Adobe Reader, allowing you to read and print the Newsletter at your leisure.

Thank you to those who submitted articles for this edition of the Newsletter, if we have learned anything in Recovery it is that We cannot keep what we have if we do not give it away! If you would like to submit an article for the next Newsletter, please email it to Dawn Liistro at [email protected] using “Newsletter” in the subject line.

Warren Taylor: Communications Chair Sean Cleary: Co-chair, Minutes Dawn B. Liistro: Chair Emeritus, Newsletter Formatter, & Proofreader Delores DeFreitas and Dorothy Seiden: Bulletin Boards John Wallace: Proofreader Barbara Wheeler: Endowment Fund & Communication VOLUME XXIV PAGE 3

D ON’ T T AKE Y OURSELF SO S ERIOUSLY Submitted by: Johnny L.

Such an important thing to Such is the case when I helped my and thinking the worst... transmission remember. We all know the pain, stepson change the v8 engine in his blew? Engine blew? Speeding ticket? agony, and loss that got us here, but a 4x4 truck. I got to walk him through Stock market crashed? Gas is now lot of us forget to enjoy the ride now the steps of swapping the engines and $20.00 a gallon? that we are here. When I go to RE- we got it running. We didn't have He said "NO!!!!" With sincere BOS, they are always having outings time to finish it because the weekend panic "The Engine Fell Out Of the Back named, "We are not a was over and he had to go of the Truck!"....." And it’s in the mid- Glum Lot!" It is strange back to work. So I finished I was full of guilt, dle of the intersection!" that we alcoholics have to it up and straightened out remorse and cer- I didn't see that one coming. Okay at be reminded that it’s okay the loose ends. I put the tainly didn’t feel this point I head straight to load the to have fun. old engine in the back of his crane in my truck, dying laughing at worthy of having In the beginning truck and test drove it to the same time as I go to the intersec- fun. Especially the of being sober I was full of gas station and put some tion with my truck. As we are hoisting guilt, remorse and certain- last time.... gas in it. It felt good to give the engine into the back of my truck, I ly didn't feel worthy of him the call that his truck have tears in my eyes because I'm having fun. Especially the was fueled, test driven, and laughing so hard as the passing cars last time I came back from my relapse, ready to go. are taking pictures and asking how? adding shame to my list of horrible That following Saturday he The cop that passed even laughed. I'm feelings. But the program has been got a friend to give him a ride laughing now thinking of it truly healing. My sponsor's under- to our house to pick up his again LOL. I'm sure it was a standing, working the steps, meetings, truck. You could see he was The point in sight to see. networking, the big book, and of happy to finally have his truck all this is The point in all this course Ridgeview, has helped me done, so I threw him the keys s**t hap- is s**t happens. Good or learn to live my life sober and to be and said try it out, and off he pens. Good bad, make the best of it. You happy; I mean really happy. Life and went. or bad, make never know who is watching. sobriety ...working together, has been Not long and he was back. the best of it. My stepson gets to see that contagious. The first thing he said with it’s okay to enjoy life, no Rewards from this come in that deer in the headlight matter what may fall your the strangest directions. I get to help look.... " Johnny you’re not going to way and that I owe to AA. people. Sometimes in those endeav- believe what happened. " ors I get quite the priceless story. Of course I'm still an alcoholic

T H E V I E W PAGE 4

H. A.L. T.! Submitted by: Maureen M.

I was hungry to be fed and to be heard Ever angry, my soul screamed whenever stirred I was loneliest within familiar crowds And so tired that I lived nightmares out loud

But something magic happened when I learned how to live again…

Once fed up with hunger, I learned how to eat Serenity slapped my anger still Crowded out now, loneliness cried out sweet defeat No longer tired, I can face the real

When I HALT, I’m not denied The tools to ever stronger stride Toward purpose, with God at my side

T HESE R OOMS Submitted by: John W.

A collection of individuals, strangers most Hailing from locales spanning each coast Individually managing a neural hot mess Spots of light amidst a creeping darkness. Gathering to confront the shivers of cold Shaking free the bonds that alcohol holds.

Beams crossed in beautiful synergy Combining, building, exploding with energy Bring clarity, peace, and tranquility Via the building crescendo of soliloquy, To buttress the soul of collective sobriety Of a group purposefully shunning notoriety.

Hands physically unite in concluding collective prayer Myriad voices melding to one for all to share From the communal fount of spirit So palpable that all can feel it. Another day of many spent one at a time Allowing through themselves God’s power to shine.

VOLUME XXIV PAGE 5

C OOL T HOUGHTS FOR H OTHEADS Submitted by: George M.

Righteous indignation is the wrote a letter to my father describing years, I felt guilty about certain feel- capacity to arouse anger when it my painful memories and angry feel- ings, such as anger, apathy, and even matters. When people are mistreated ings. I went to his grave and read the moments of happiness, from escaping and I don’t feel concerned, letter aloud. My emotions reality. In recovery, I learned guilt is I’m lacking compassion or in … my hot tem- took over and I was able to irrational, often buried inside, and denial. Anger moves me to per blinds me to feel the relief many years arises out of unrealistic expectations, action. But my hot temper reality and after his death. I knelt at his distorts the facts, and is usually over blinds me to reality and drives a wedge grave, the tears flowed, and things I cannot change. Forgiving my- drives a wedge between between others years of hurt and anger self, praying the Serenity Prayer, and others and me. I don’t find a and me. washed away. asking God for help gives me some receptive audience when Another way I cope perspective on being human. I’m enraged. People just is by sharing my anger with Letting go of guilt is key to resist or discount my accusations and a healing person, someone who can healing anger. When pride hides as get angry in response, which makes handle it. Healing (HEAL) people con- anger, I am Edging God Out. The Pray- me angrier! nect us to God’s love in a powerful ers of the 3rd Step, 7th Step, and St. Dealing with my anger is a way. When people are here for us, Francis, are to Let Go and Let God dai- work-in-progress. To bring out the Empathetic, Accepting, and ly. They help me to interrupt anger lurking under the surface, to let Listening, God works through my anger, grief, or other myself feel my anger, begins to loosen them to bring us the healing When people emotional buildup, to break anger’s grip on me. we need. Keep a close look- are here for us, the negative cycle, to stop, To recognize my anger, I out for them. Seek them out. Empathetic, not react and gain self- name it, and identifying the target of Tell your friends how they Accepting, and control. my anger is an important first step in can care. “Here’s what I need Listening, God Today, I am learn- rendering it harmless. Anger is a nor- from you. Let me be upset works through ing to avoid angry people. mal response to loss and is a natural without trying to cheer me them to bring us Like a bad virus, I get infect- human emotion, just like happiness, up or fix things. Let me talk. the healing we ed, especially if I have anger excitement, or fear. How do I accept Let me cry. Give me a hug. need. issues.. “Don’t hang out with my anger, even if it is irrational? Just be here and care.” angry people; don’t keep Unexpressed anger can build When my mother died last company with hotheads. Bad temper up until it erupts, with health prob- year, I experienced anger and grief, is contagious--don’t get infect- lems or risky behavior. One way to let but I didn’t drink like I did when my ed.” (Proverbs 22) my anger out is by writing about it. I father died twenty years ago. For

P UZZLE A NSWERS

ACROSS DOWN

1. We THOUGHT we could find 1. Quit TALKING to sponsor 3. Life BECOMES unmanageable 2. Character DEFECTS flare up 5. Restless, IRRITABLE and discontent 4. Alcohol– CUNNING baffling and powerful 8. Quit SEEKING to God 6. An EASIER softer way 9. Quit reading the Big BOOK 7. Stop going to MEETINGS 11. 1/2 measures avail us NOTHING 10. Powerless OVER alcohol 12. Everyone else is WRONG 13. Hold onto our OLD ideas

T H E V I E W PAGE 6

O WNER OF A L ONELY H EART? O R H OW TO KISS Y OUR L ONELINESS G OODBYE Submitted by: John W.

I love acronyms. A.A. is rife as clear as mud? Does it sound like Maybe the person is your sponsor or with them. So rife, in fact, that it psychobabble bull pucky? maybe it’s your closest friend in your seems as if the higher power of the Following the KISS principle, sober network. I’ve always found that universe knew that A.A.s would need there might be a simpler talking things out with anoth- them to stay grounded and to keep way to understand the state Recalling a basic er person greatly helps to from over-complicating things. One of of our mental health. Re- truth that our identify what is bothering me. my personal favorites calling a basic feelings reflect Furthermore, the simple is KISS, which stands truth that our our thinking, we (again… I know… I can’t help for Keep It Simple Stu- feelings reflect could just ask it…) act of talking to another pid. Those who know our thinking, we ourselves, “How person tends to deflate my me well all agree that I could just ask do I feel?” problems significantly. For need to keep this acro- ourselves, “How one thing, the concerns that nym front and center do I feel?” If you feel occupy my head never sound as dire in my personal recov- good, then there’s likely when I verbalize them to another per- ery! While pursuing no need to dig further son. Also, I get the feeling that the oth- the easier, softer way into why you are alone. er person is “in my camp,” which makes has proven ineffective, If, on the other hand, you it two of us facing the problem, rather the simpler way always don’t feel so than just me alone. I’m convinced that wins the day. I’m sure I read some- good, or you’re feeling two of “us” can solve any- where that ours is a “simple pro- stressed, then you likely thing! gram”… Here’s how the KISS principle need to take action. So if you find your- can work. This action could self alone and wondering Have you ever found yourself take many forms. You could whether that is ok, then the alone, and wondered if that is ok? If try to delve into your think- following approach usually you are asking this question, then you ing, for example. What is works for me. Ask yourself are likely trying to understand the the inventory of thoughts floating how you feel. Take action, if warranted. difference between isolation and soli- around in your head? Which of them Talk to someone else in the program. tude. Isolation reflects one’s choice to appear to be bothering you? What Above all else, keep it simple. separate from others, to detach in or- might have triggered your angst? This der to be alone or apart. In medical approach can work well, if terms, scientists isolate dis- you have the discipline to eased cells in order to study One of my per- evaluate yourself objectively. them and/or limit their con- sonal favorites is However, executing this ap- tagion. Solitude, on the oth- KISS, which proach may be too daunting er hand, reflects a state of stands for Keep It to undertake, leaving you being alone with an absence Simple Stupid. dissatisfied, frustrated, and, of humanity around us. unfortunately, still alone. There are typically Alternatively, you no negative connotations associated could simply (there’s that word with solitude. On the contrary, solitude again…) find another alcoholic or ad- often reflects a peaceful context, as in dict to talk to about your situation. being alone in nature. Is the preceding

VOLUME XXIV PAGE 7 G US Submitted by: Bill

I never felt unconditionally her gone. Soon after the wedding, we After several years of mar- loved. became, intentionally, pregnant. Soon riage, and many meetings, sponsor By a mother who came to my after that, the pregnancy ended. one-on-ones, professional help, ser- bed room late at night, to a father So, we decided to vice and time with you, I experienced, and my wife who, spurred by tales of my disobedi- get a dog. When I finally enjoyed, greater periods of ence, would have me bloody and We named him Gus. was “beaten time between my blowups. curled into the fetal position as soon A typical Golden Retriever, into a state of Gus became less skittish. as he came home from work, I soon Gus peed, pooed, chewed, reasonable- Imagine that? developed a coat of armor that I yipped, and barked his way ness”, and sur- learned would protect me: ANGER. under my skin. Come home rendered to the At 12 years of age, I insulated myself from you from work and find the table Program of Gus started slowing down. I and others by always being on the leg chewed nearly in two, Alcoholics refused to allow myself to attack, extending the hand of anger scream at Gus. Poop on the Anonymous, acknowledge that he would before you could even think about rug after just coming in from not be with us forever. Alt- hurting me. If you were smart, you a poop walk, slap. Bark at hough it was clear that he would run. Sometimes, you would not. 3:00 A.M. for no apparent reason, was in pain, if you didn’t take him with After I punished you, with words, kick. the other dogs for a walk, he sat at the slaps, kicks, you would skulk away, Afterward, adrenaline from front door and cried. He struggled to because you never really loved me. my ANGER receding, Gus would slink get up and down. We helped him up Unconditionally. (how does a dog learn to slink?) to the stairs at night. I once tried to carry Years of attempting to abate my AN- where I was sitting and lay between him, but, Gus would not suffer that GER with copious amounts of adult my legs and whimper. For a long time, indignity, and would somehow make it beverages only served to feed the I would not reach to offer him a pet to up those 13 steps on his own. beast; I lashed out at you, at me, at console him. Still, he would lay there We took Gus to the Gus doc- the world. And then I found AA. and look up at me with those big Gold- tor; she told us that when it “was You told me that en Retriever eyes, and just time”, we would know. A week later, you loved me. What bull. I be with me. I hated him for Gus could not get up. He would not I insulated my- held your hands in the circle it. It hurt on so many levels. eat or drink. We “knew”. self from you to conclude the meeting, Mostly, it hurt because I felt I carried Gus to the car, and but I wanted nothing more and others by my ANGER, my constant gently placed him in the back seat. We than to escape your grip always being on friend and advisor, my suit drove to the vet, not saying a word. and run. the attack, ex- of armor of a lifetime, slow- It was very early on a Satur- But, after much tending the ly leaving me. I was scared. day morning, but, prompted by our trial and error, and a drawer hand of anger Over time, I earlier call to the emergency number, full of white chips, I stayed, before you stopped abusing Gus. Gus, the vet was ready for Gus. Two of the got a sponsor, worked the could even think however, did not allow me vet assistants, carrying a pup stretch- the courtesy of not remind- er, walked solemnly to our car. With steps, tried to be of service, about hurting ing me of what I had done tears in their eyes, they softly placed met a girl, got married… and me. seethed with ANGER. to him. Loud noises freaked him on the stretcher and carried him Said girl soon him out. Yell at my wife, Gus inside to an examination room. Soon, found out that I was a raving loony. ran for cover. Smart pup, that Gus the doc came in and offered kind She stayed, but in my heart, I wanted dog. words and gentle touches.

T H E V I E W PAGE 8

G US ( CON’ T) Submitted by: Bill

She left us in the exam room tionally. I left the examination room, into a state of reasonableness”, and for our last moments with Gus. My went to the car, and fell apart. surrendered to the Program of Alco- mentor; my friend. I was beyond con- The God of my understanding holics Anonymous, I was surrounded solation. I held Gus in my arms and sent that fuzzy pup to me, because He by love and understanding. Not know- sobbed, soundlessly. I thought back to knew that I would not let another hu- ing how to accept your love, or how to how, as a puppy, I had treated Gus man being in to my heart. Thank you, give love back, you kept on loving me with the same ANGER I treated every- Big Guy. anyway. And, Gus the dog, who is now one. And although I tried mightily, Gus When I finally was “beaten in pup heaven, just loved me too. would not cease to love me, uncondi-

AA Funnies

God grant me the laughter to help me see the past with perspective, face the future with hope, and celebrate today— without taking myself too seriously.

— Jane N.

VOLUME XXIV PAGE 9

HALT A MONG O THER T HINGS... Submitted by: Terri L’H.

I love all of the sayings and LAZINESS can’t handle, and I hang on to my se- acronyms in AA and HALT (Hungry, This one can creep up on me, so renity. I smile and laugh a lot more on Angry, Lonely, Tired) is one of my fa- I have to be super vigilant. One of my the days that I beat laziness. This vorites. This one clearly explains im- routines that I learned at Ridgeview was leads me to my next big caution item. portant moments to watch out for but to meditate and read some recovery CONTROL I’ve got a few more. Here are a few literature for a few minutes These are the times when I examples I have lived through and each morning before begin- think to myself “I got this!” learned from. ning my day. Sounds easy … “Thank you, As human beings, we know enough, right? Well, it can GOD, for this EGO that we don’t have control be, but it can also be easily beautiful morn- over things like hurricanes Wow! This one is a biggie. skipped when laziness takes and tornadoes but guess Early in sobriety during my stay in the ing.” Seriously! I over. Getting 15 minutes of what? We don’t have con- halfway house at Ridgeview, I was told am that happy extra sleep has sometimes trol over a whole lot more to get on my knees and pray every morning person seemed so much more im- than just the weather. So morning as soon as I got out of bed who gets on some portant as I lie in bed with my why is it that I try to take and to do the same thing every night. people’s nerves eyes half open. But here are back control over situations “On my knees?!” I thought. Now mind because I see both scenarios. On the morn- that are clearly out of my you, there was NO ONE in my room ings when I’ve skipped, my beauty in things. league? EGO! That’s why. when I was doing this and yet I felt day becomes rocky at best. I AND we are back to the weird and uncomfortable. That’s ego seem to race around running beginning. for ya! On top of that, I had the gall to late all morning. Traffic is HORRIBLE, complain that I didn’t know what to So take it from one who has and I’m sure to be late. Everyone gets say. I really must have lived and learned. Remember HALT, on my last nerve and I’m thor- thought I was something. but also remember to rid yourself of oughly worn out and exhaust- The only one who could Ego, Control, and Laziness. Maybe I’ll Early in sobriety ed from trying to keep control hear me was GOD, and all try to come up with some cool new of everything all day long. I’m He wanted was for me to during my stay in acronym so I don’t forget, although still baffled as to why on earth make some kind of con- the halfway house the pain that comes from not doing I would do this to myself nection, and I faltered at Ridgeview, I was the right thing ought to be reminder when I know how to make it because I didn’t know told to get on my enough. better. When I do the right what to say? I was told to knees and pray eve- thing, my day flows more like say anything and to speak ry morning as soon this: I calmly get ready and I to GOD as if He were my as I got out of bed look to the sky as I’m sitting in I work really hard at trying best friend so that’s what and to do the same traffic and happily say “Thank to see the big picture and I did and now do (without thing every night. you, GOD, for this beautiful not getting stuck in ego. I feeling weird about it). I believe we're all put on morning.” Seriously! I am can’t believe I wasted so this planet for a purpose, that happy morning person much time in Egoland on and we all have a differ- who gets on some people’s ent purpose... When you this one. I wouldn’t give up my con- nerves because I see beauty in things. I connect with that nection to my higher power now for think that the person who cut me off love and that compas- anything and I will GLADLY tell him must need to get somewhere more sion, that's when every- that on my knees! thing unfolds. quickly than I do. I give up control to Ellen DeGeneres GOD throughout the day on the stuff I

T H E V I E W PAGE 10

Control Alt Delete Submitted by: Doug F.

I've had a day that did not go to do for dinner before I can even get allowed common circumstances to my way at work. I pack up my stuff, my shoes off. I am short spoken and I'm drive my mood into a slow rage. leave the office, and hit the freeway. sure the expression on my face tells There is a common cure to Traffic jam! them to back away. I plop PC problems: control, alt, No one is moving and those in my chair to go through delete. This causes a restart There is a com- that are moving aren't letting anyone the mail and find that a to the troubled device and mon cure to PC in. I inch toward the 75/85 split head- credit card is charging me a often gets rid of the problem. problems: con- ing north just to find that idiots are in late fee from last month. Somehow on this day I forgot trol, alt, delete. the wrong lanes and they crisscross Really? $45 dollars just be- that I could have crtl-alt- This causes a across the lanes at the last moment cause I was three days late? deleted my day at any point. restart to the while talking on their phones to cor- Needless to say the I forgot that anger eats away troubled device ... rect this. I get madder and inch up to evening continues as I ex- my serenity and cascades ensure that they don't get in. Later on pected it. In fact my atti- upon itself if not addressed. I as I work my way through the mess, I tude ensured it. As I lay in bed thinking failed to see my part and attacked find I need to get over and some per- about the whole mess, I play it back- others instead of pausing and look- son won't let me in. I get even more ward just to find it all started with me ing at my role in it. frustrated and flip them off. This being late to work and missing the first Realizing this in bed, I whole day has just gone to hell and 5 minutes of a conference call. No one turned to my spouse and asked for- the commute home adds gas to my said anything but I was snappy and giveness for the anger I had when I fire. short the whole time. After the call arrived home. I prayed to my higher Finally arriving home I find someone asked if I was ok and I said, power and set my day right. Getting my arms full and getting to the alarm “Yeah, why?” As I reconstructed the sleepy I reached over to the night pad causes me to drop things. I just day I found that I played a part in every- stand and made sure that this time become more upset. I'm late and my thing that went wrong that day. From the alarm was really set. family is already asking what we want being late to paying the bills on time, I H.A.L.T. Submitted by: Tom S.

Hungry, angry, lonely, tired; they will get their other any one of these can spiral me off into two friends together and ‘poor me’ thinking and we’ve all heard there I am, totally off the “Poor me, poor me, pour me a tall beam! one”. Awareness is es- It has been my experience sential to prevent this from that whenever one of those traits is happening as often as it not dealt with in a timely manner it used to. will seek one of the others for compa- Being in the mo- ny. If I’m tired, I’m often grumpy or ment increases my aware- I’m quick to get angry if I’ve not taken ness. time to eat something. If those two together aren’t dealt with promptly

VOLUME XXIV PAGE 11

Farewell to Alcohol Submitted by: Mary R. (written as part of a group assignment @ Ridgeview)

I have given you loving care you with the finest glasses and decanters will merely bide your time, lying in for far too many years. I have chilled to carry you gently into my body. wait, ready to jump back into control. you to the perfect temperature. I Ah, but you are a fickle and evil But where you reside is surrounded by have opened many beautiful vessels lover! I turned to you in a time of my the best of me and the fabulous mem- that held you, to release your lovely greatest need and you turned on me; ories of my life. With my higher pow- aroma and perform the perfect ritual oozing into every neuron and synapse of er, and the support of my family and of letting you breathe and honorably my brain and every fiber of my body; friends, I will trap you and smother taken you into my body as you liked. I blurring my cognitive abilities, masking you, so that your roots will shrivel. have mixed you perfectly as a martini, the real me, trying to steal my family and They may never die completely, but gin and tonic, daiquiri, and many oth- the best parts of my life. I know that you you will get no food, water, or sun- ers. I have taken you straight up to have planted deep roots and will always shine from me to help you grow and feel your comforting warmth. I have be there waiting. awaken to take over again. You will blended you with the finest of ingredi- But I am serving you notice that be minimized and overpowered by my ents for many elegant meals comple- you are being cut off. Through a being Higher Power, me and my group. mented by the best wines and finished far greater than me and you and the love Ta-Ta Forever satisfyingly with desert and accompa- and support of my family and friends, I Good Bye and Good Riddance nying cordials. I have always provided am taking back my life! I know that you you f***ing predator

HALT OR STOP Submitted by: Anonymous

When I crawled back in, the cellar. I felt pressured to get better I avoided anger because I had nothing acronym HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, quickly, although I knew that probably to be angry about. I kept going to Tired) hardly applied. My particular could not happen. meetings and expanding my recovery Drug of Choice didn’t allow for hunger. I had lost everything. I had nev- network to avoid loneliness. As I re- I wasn’t angry, I was indifferent. I did- er known true hunger, but not being gained my physical health, I no longer n’t feel lonely, although in reality I was gainfully employed, full meals were felt exhausted. very alone. I was tired, though, very sparse. I still was not angry, but I felt Today, with my life back on tired of living the life that had nearly defeated. I would not let myself be lone- track, I have the tools to avoid HALT. I killed me. ly because that is a choice, and I chose to do not hesitate to use them. I don’t I could more identify with the stay close to people in recovery. There have to be hungry anymore. I am not acronym STOP (Stupid, Timid, Loathing were times when I felt tired, because the easily angered because the directions and Pressured). relapse had taken away my health. laid before me in the Big Book tell me I felt stupid because I had, in After I retained a sponsor and to “pause.” I will not allow myself to my mind, blown almost four years of started working slowly through the Steps feel loneliness because that remains a sobriety. I was returning to treatment (again), things started to get better, choice. When I feel tired I keep it sim- after an eight-month relapse. I felt seemingly at the same pace that I was ple- get some rest. timid because I was in a new city with working the Steps. I had to be careful Our program teaches us how very little chance of ever returning this time to be as thorough as possible to avoid HALT, but it’s up to us to ap- home. I felt loathing because my self- because I felt that this was my last ply the tools. worth and self-esteem were in the chance. I found a job which meant food.

T H E V I E W PAGE 12

Anger Submitted by: Anonymous.

How does anger fuel alcohol- in a blackout for about two weeks. I must add that the relationship with ism? I had been married for 10 years at this the therapist I had to see for 6 Where did the anger come from? I had time and my wife seriously contemplated months, as I stated earlier, continued had a tumultuous child hood but I dumping me. But she didn’t. She wanted for another four years. Need I say moved on and just discounted that 12 me to leave because she didn’t want me more?? ANONYMOUS year experience. Anger wasn’t an to die in our home that we loved so much. issue that I remember. But later in life Total degradation is the only description I Article from Psychology Today I found alcohol, at age 15, so if there can come up with. I ended up at Ridgeview Magazine: was anger the alcohol would mask it Institute, sick, sad and sorry. I hated every “While the relationship be- over. Drinking was magic for me. I felt minute of it. I displayed anger I didn’t tween anger and alcohol, not directly good inside and out. It was the answer know existed in me towards staff and oth- causal; there are multiple instances for why I didn’t fit in, why the self- er patients. I particularly hated Sam An- whereby the two are interactive or consciousness went away and why my ders for getting in my face in front of a dependent on each other. Studies skin fit better. So I set out to imbibe whole group. suggest that growing up in poor neigh- alcohol whenever I could. Upon leaving R.V.I., it was strong- borhoods with unstable homes can Very quickly though I started ly suggested for me to go to Anger Man- lead to lifelong frustration and anger. to get into trouble, never once consid- agement, and, of course, I had a tantrum Emotional and physical harm at any ering why. The next period of years about it. But I did seek out a therapist/ point in life can cause anger in any age many things happened. Horrible teacher and, true to form, also resisted group. Some people deal with this things from loss of marriage and chil- this process. We found out why I was so anger by abusing alcohol. Alcohol's dren, DUI’s and jail time, loss of a sig- angry and we met it head on, no holding known effects make it easy for some- nificant relationship, indefinite loss of back. Turned out I had experienced severe one with anger management issues to my driver’s license, started hanging trauma as a child and we addressed it in block out negative images, people or out at low-end bars, and got and lost detail. I discovered that alcohol was my events in their life. Thus, alcohol be- many jobs. suppressant, which explained why the comes a suppressant for some peo- I went to AA at age 35 for anger continued to show up in dry times ple.” various visits after not being able to when I had no substance to calm me “But because of the progres- stay dry. After many additional low- down. The feelings I was having during dry sion of addiction seeking relief drink- end life problems, I went back at age times were finally explained. Until the an- ing again was causing lower and lower 40. I stayed dry for over three years, ger and rage was addressed I could not bottom. So the answer was A.A. and never ever being approached about stay sober. 12 Step Recovery. As bad as I needed the Big Book or Steps. Of course I did- I was supposed to see this Thera- it I did not take it seriously. But I did n’t need a sponsor, right? I went on pist/Teacher for 6 months and I did. I do one thing right, I sought out thera- vacation at age 43 and drank every found real recovery with a Sponsor, a py! It changed everything and the an- day. I entered treatment this time and home group, 12 Steps, a network of men, ger went away, really went away. Be- stayed dry for 11 years. No sponsor, meetings, and service work; the real thing. ing ignorant about the intense work I no steps, no Big Book and very few I am still married to my wonderful wife; did, I didn’t know how important meetings toward the end. During that the anger is gone for the most part. I have maintenance was. So with no 12 Step time I achieved some financial suc- achieved some certifications that allow me or any other support over a period of cess. Guess what I developed during to do the work I like to do. Very important double digit years the anger and de- that time? A huge amount of ego, to me, I am an active Ridgeview Alumna pression returned.” pride and only a small amount of fear. now and have been for a while. So in 2002 I picked up again and was

VOLUME XXIV PAGE 13

I’M A V OLUNTEER Submitted by: Steven F.

People can say what they will, some more milk.” Yet, another choice. Tired. Who hasn’t had a long but I feel as though life is about choic- That didn’t seem to bother him, so he hard day and wanted to cap it off with es. I choose to volunteer for a number tried another.” Need I tell you the out- a few drinks? After all, don’t I deserve of things. Some of these leverage my come? If you don’t know, check out it? Sometimes I’m just tired of the experience, my strength and my hope. page 36 in the Big Book. It’s all fight. This battle has lasted One of the early tools I learned in re- “IN” there. so long, I can’t fathom the covery was HALT. Never get too Hun- Moving forward, on … my first spon- notion there’s another solu- gry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I can cer- page 64 of the Big Book of Alco- sor shared with tion. So, I take my tired self tainly relate to those feelings and holics Anonymous, you can find me. His version back to that miserable place emotions, especially where my alco- a line that reads, “We asked of HALT: and drink to oblivion. Not a holism was concerned. Have you ever ourselves why we were angry.” Hush up, Act comfortable place to be, but decided to drink when you were angry This is a part of doing a 4th right, Love oth- it’s all I know. or lonely? What about hungry or step. Funny how anger seems ers and Trust So, there’s a small look at tired? I know I certainly did. to play a big role in most peo- God. Hungry, Angry, Lonely and There’s a story in the big ple’s 4th step. It’s usually at the May you find Tired. I volunteered to write book of Alcoholics Anonymous about root of a resentment, in one sobriety and this story in hopes that a guy who got hungry. He made some form or another. Practically dwell there. someone else might relate to choices in what to do about it, too. He every line of my 4th step was some of these instances in chose to drive in the country, stopped riddled with anger. It’s no wonder their own life. Know this, THERE IS A at a roadside “Anger” is part of the SOLUTION!!! Volunteer yourself to place, complete HALT acronym. change. It’s called willingness. That’s with a bar, to “get Now to lonely. You where it all begins. YOU get to make a sandwich.” No need to look no further that choice. If you want it, you will find intention of drink- than page 1 in Bill’s it. If not, well, chances are, it won’t ing, he thought he story. Bill plainly states, happen. might find a cus- “I was very lonely and One last thing I’d like to share tomer to sell a car again turned to alco- that my first sponsor shared with me. to. He ordered a hol.” Since he used the His version of HALT: sandwich and a word “again,” it tends Hush up, Act right, Love oth- glass of milk. He to lead me to believe ers and Trust God. still had no AA that he used alcohol as May you find sobriety and thought of drink- Love a coping mechanism dwell there. ing. “Suddenly, the for his loneliness. Ap- ...our thought crossed parently he knew the cup run- his mind that if he neth effects of alcohol and were to put an felt this to be a viable ounce of whiskey solution. Why else in his milk, it could- would he state it so n’t hurt him on a plainly? I don’t know full stomach.” An- about you, but I can other choice. The certainly relate. experiment went so well, he ordered another whiskey and poured it into

T H E V I E W PAGE 14

C OMPLACENCY L ANE P UZZLE

ACROSS

1. We ______we could find 3. Life ______unmanageable S obriety 5. Restless, ______and discontent 8. Quit ______to God 9. Quit reading the Big ______L oses 11. 1/2 measures avail us 12. Everyone else is ______I ts

DOWN P riority

1. Quit ______to sponsor 2. Character ______flare up 4. Alcohol- ______, baffling and powerful 6. An ______, softer way 7. Stop going to ______10. Powerless ______alcohol 13. Hold onto our ______ideas Answers on Page 5

VOLUME XXIV PAGE 15

Remember hitting your bottom? Do you remember that moment when you first began to feel some hope? Looking back, can you remember those angels who appeared at that precise moment when you needed help the most? I can. I can also remember the abject fear of, “How am I going to pay for this?” No insurance, no real savings, no trust fund, no golden benefactor. Scared, having hit my bottom, finally able to ask for help. I was in a safe place. The rest would just have to take care of itself. Treatment costs money, real money. Programs, therapies, prescriptions, food, housing and all the while life continues to go on outside with- out us. As active members of the Ridgeview Alumni Association our fund raising goal is an endowment fund that will one day be able to help financially that person currently in treatment. Whether it’s more time in treatment, another couple of days in a halfway house, medications, daycare so the patient can make it to the program that week, the needs can be overwhelming at times. We all know how powerful a helping hand at that critical moment can make or break a spirit. Our goal for the Endowment Fund has to be set high if we are to be able to generate any kind of meaningful income. To date we have raised $86,650 and change. towards our first $500,000. Every single dollar raised goes into an asset management account over which the Alumni Steering Committee has sole control. When the day comes, and it will, that we are in a financial position to begin offering grants to patients, a review committee will be estab- lished. This group will be comprised of active Steering Committee members who have demonstrated a record of service, and a representative from the hospital. The committee will review the requests and make grants based on need, the patient’s participation in their own recovery, and the patient’s treatment team’s input. Obviously we are a ways down the road from making any grants. The next several years are about increasing awareness of our project, rais- ing and investing the donations that come our way. Today, you can make a difference in the life of that person who is still out there. Won’t you make a commitment to be someone’s angel, just for today? We have.

Ridgeview Alumni Association Endowment Fund Campaign Date:______

YES, I want to contribute to the Alumni Endowment Fund. I’ve been in Recovery ______years and would like to give back $______.

YES, I am not an Alumni; however, I wish to contribute to the Endowment Fund. As a family member, friend, business owner or corporate representative/sponsor. Here is my donation of $______.

Name______Phone (_____)______

Address______

City______State______Zip______

The Ridgeview Alumni Association is a non-profit organization and all contributions are tax deductible. Make checks payable to: Ridgeview Alumni Association Endowment Fund Mail to: Ridgeview Alumni Steering Committee, 3995 South Cobb Drive, Smyrna, GA 30080-6397

Serenity Garden—Memorial Brick Order Form

Name______Phone (_____)______

Message to be engraved on brick: (2 Lines/14 characters per line) Cost $30.00

(Line 1)______

(Line 2)______

* Please fill out name and contact number, even if you wish this to be an anonymous contribution, so we may contact you in case any questions arise about the inscription. The Ridgeview Alumni Association is a non-profit organization and all contributions are tax deductible. Make checks payable to: Ridgeview Alumni Association Endowment Fund Mail to: Ridgeview Alumni Steering Committee, 3995 South Cobb Drive, Smyrna, GA 30080-6397

NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION U.S. POSTAGE TTT H H H E EV E I E W V V I I E E W W PAGE 16 PAID SMYRNA, GA PERMIT NO. 118

3995 SOUTH COBB DRI VE SMYRNA, GA 30080

S URRENDER Submitted by: John W.

Living a life of my own choosing In a bottle I found my creed. I could not last another hour. Fighting, flailing, but alas only losing Oft hidden in my house or car In prayer and meditation I found My wife, my children and my health At times my solace-taking alone in a Him Clouding over my own True Self. bar. And slowly the fires of Hell did dim.

I cannot begin to account the cost Down, down I slid to the depths of Peaceful surrender is what I sought Of passion and inspiration lost. Hell. Found recompense that cannot be Neural impulses re-directed, Slipping, sliding, down the well bought. I struggle to remain connected Of hurt and shame from all the lying Happiness, joy, and beautiful sound I truly felt that I was dying. Of melodious songs that I have found. To my peeps, my posse, and my breed. “Help!” I cried to my Higher Power