Psychic Vibrations UFO exploiter extraordinaire Timothy Mexican government scientists pro­ Green Beckley ("Yes! Aliens walk duced under carefully controlled condi­ among us . .") has done it again. A tions. When did Garcia make this recent ad promoting his new book, astounding discovery? The year was Strange Encounters, is headlined "Forced 1947. No one seems to have noticed his into Sex Aboard a Flying Saucer," and achievement until this past year. states: "A Canadian woman is found ***** wandering nude in a park and claims she was abducted by space beings and The science of "astrometeorology" has taken to the back of the moon where she suffered another spectacular defeat. was 'implanted with outer-space semen.'" Joseph Goodavage, well-known writer In this book, " one New York woman tells on paranormal subjects and "space of her 'cosmic union' in great detail," mysteries," has predicted that in the Beckley promises. When Beckley is not 1980s the United States will endure "the busily engaged in UFO research, he most devastating series of winters in reviews X-rated movies for Hustler recorded history." But before these dis­ magazine astrous winters strike (with snowdrifts of 17 to 27 feet in many major cities), ***** Goodavage predicted last fall, "a series Meanwhile, a peasant farmer in Mexico of earthquakes—some in areas not nor­ claims to be growing onions the size of mally considered earthquake-prone— bowling balls and cabbages the size of will begin following the vernal equinox manhole covers. His secret? Outer-space of March 20. 1980." Why was this going aliens, he says, have given him a "magic" to happen? "A solar eclipse at 26 formula for growing super-vegetables. degrees of Aquarius on February 16, He says he got the secret formula from a 1980, is opposed and squared—both "humanoid" creature who claimed to adverse aspects-at the March 20 vernal have been held captive by aliens in the equinox by Uranus at 25 degrees Scor­ interior of an inactive volcano. The pio, squared by Mars at 27 degrees Leo, story of the farmer, Jose Carmen Gar­ and also squared by the moon at 21 cia, has appeared in such publications degrees Taurus." What all this sup­ as the Midnight/Globe and the Weekly posedly proved was that the "great dis­ World News. He is said to have grown asters" of the 1980s were to begin in three times as many tons per acre as California in early April of this year. Fall 1980 17 Specifically, "the date and time for the more proof could be needed? first great earthquake to strike the ***** Palmdale Bulge area of California will be close to 2:17 A.M., April 4, 1980." All students of psychic phenomena are (This was published in the December well aware of claims that plants can 1979 UFO Report, on the newsstands telepathically sense human thoughts last October.) At last report, California and emotions (the "Backster effect"), had not yet fallen into the sea. but a Japanese electronics expert has discovered that plants can also talk, ***** sing, and do mathematics as well. Ken Well-known UFO contactee-psychic Hashimoto is, according to the Na­ Ted Owens claims to be able to guide tional Enquirer, the inventor of a "psy­ hurricanes, cause fires, and bring chic radio," which transforms the floods, rain, snow, and heat, owing to sounds made by plants into Japanese his special extraterrestrial contacts. vowels. Dr. Hashimoto reports: "I had When Owens's claims were reported in my wife sing Japanese songs to the his letter published in Fate magazine plant, and before long it—through the (December 1979), a Fate reader in Nova machine—sang right along with her." A Scotia, Stan Farnsworth, wrote to new era in interspecies communication Owens asking him to please bring mild began when Mrs. Hashimoto asked a weather to that province, where they precocious cactus to add two and two. reportedly have the highest heating It made four sounds, witnesses report. costs in Canada. In a letter in the June That's one small step for a cactus, a issue of Fate, Farnsworth complains giant leap for plantkind! that Owens never even answered his let­ ter and, worse yet, "we have had our ***** usual cold winter and lots of ice and Midnight/ Globe reports startling proof snow." Where are the space people that psychic healing really can cure the when they're needed? dying. The well-known psychic re­ searcher Thelma Moss tested the pow­ ***** ers of some of the world's most More evidence that America is falling formidable psychic healers in a 7-year ever further behind the Russians in psy- experiment. "Out of 300 volunteers, 75 chotronic technology: The tabloid Star patients said psychic healing made reveals that "Soviet scientists are them feel better," she stated. Another reported to have found a cheap way of researcher offered as proof that "Olga converting lead into gold, sparking [Worrall] only focuses her psychic fears that Moscow might be able to energy on them for 30 seconds, and the make a 'killing' on the world market at patients weren't told which 30 seconds the West's expense." Another tabloid. it would be." "Exactly how the process Midnight I Globe, reports that the So­ works is a mystery," Moss explained, viets have "now perfected the technique "except that the cure comes in changing to make gold for about $600 an ounce." a person's energy field by interacting When these stories appeared in print in with the aura of the psychic." early February 1980, gold was selling for about $680 an ounce. But almost ***** immediately afterward, the price of that Some ads found in a recent issue of the metal began plunging and was soon popular tabloid National Examiner: selling for just $500 an ounce. What "$ 1,000 guarantee I will curse your ene- 18 THE SKEPTICAL INQUIRER mies, known or unknown, in 3 hours. modern-day Moses: "I'm here to lead Total cost, $20.00." "Powerful Voodoo the righteous to a new world in another doll gets revenge! Conjure instructions, galaxy." James Harder, professor of pins $5.50." "Voodoo Magic. Only engineering at the University of Califor­ Doctor Zenda can guarantee revenge, nia at Berkeley and director of research money, love in 13 hours. Cannot fail. at APRO, a major UFO group, hypnot­ $5.00." ized Stalnaker, and endorsed the accu­ racy of at least some of her claims. ***** Stalnaker is now taking out full-page The well-known "ancient astronauts" ads in various publications offering for theorist Stuart W. Greenwood specu­ sale "The Cross of Antron—the univer­ lates in a recent letter in UFO Report sal Life Force surges out from it in pow­ that the Soviets invaded Afghanistan erful waves of energy." "I have met hot for geopolitical considerations but people from another galaxy," the ad because of the supposed "Afghanistan claims. "I have received the gift of heal­ Triangle," one of the "12 Devils' Grave­ ing." She states in the ad that "Dr. yards Around the World" identified by James Harder, director of research at the late Ivan T. Sanderson in 1973. the prestigious Aerial Phenomena Research Organization and a member ***** of the National Enquirer's Blue Ribbon The tabloid Modern People is offering UFO Panel has said publicly that my for sale, for a mere $9.95 (plus postage story is true 'beyond a reasonable and handling), a post-mortem record doubt.'" The reader is encouraged to made by Elvis Presley: "The king lives "share in the power of this amazing on and talks to the world from beyond cross" for just $7.95 (plus 65c for post­ the grave . Hear Elvis describe the age and handling). When shown the ad, strange world in which he now lives and Harder deplored the commercialization reveal startling facts about the myste­ and emphasized that he had endorsed rious, unearthly beings who dwell the reality of only part of Lydia's story. among us!" ***** ***** Poor Svetlana Godillo. She was a vic­ Lydia Stalnaker, who lives in Jackson­ tim of poor astrological timing. This ville, Florida, claims to have been Washington, D.C., astrologer devoted abducted by beings from a UFO a few a full column, published in the March years back and says that she was 16, 1980, Washington Post, to whether "implanted" with the personality of Gerald Ford would run for President. Antron, a female alien thousands of "Astrologically, on the basis of his and years old who is visiting from "another his wife's charts, I say that most proba­ galaxy" and currently resides in a glass bly he will enter the race." Unfortu­ tube on board a spacecraft in the vicin­ nately, Ford's decision not to run had ity of Earth. Antron also claims to have been announced one day earlier. psychic powers and says that she's a —Robert Sheaffer Fall 1980 19 .