FEATURE WWW.SU.IC.AC.UK/FEUX NEXT WEEK

Renaissance; a Felix back on the Who is Tony

rebirth net! Mitcheson?

Double Standards

KENT YIP next month. The possibility of the not yet be implemented because latter being turned simply into a BUSA was not prepared to apply Widespread hostility among BUSA entry debate was thought to different entry rules to selected medics continues to emerge after be undesirable. clubs. At present, BUSA is still con- the decision reached last term to Responding to calls for his res- sidering changes to resolve similar submit a single entry to the ignation, Charlie Joynt, Deputy predicaments faced by colleges British University Sports President (Clubs and Societies), incorporating the London medical Association (as reported in Felix denied having reneged on his elec- schools. A decision will be 1102). The debate at Tuesday's tion manifesto. He believed people announced in February. Emergency General Andy Heeps, Meeting has forced President of Imperial the Executive College Union, who Committee of forced the F.GM in the Imperial College first place, was glad to Union to re-open the have the chance to dis- discussion before cuss the issue again at Council next Monday. the next executive The meeting, BUS \ meeting. He felt that attended by more than members of the execu- 300 people, was held lllBii afflr^ tive committee who after Katie Armstrong, cast their vote on the president of 1CSM last occasion did not Union, withdrew her have enough time to call for a union-wide take in, and subse- referendum on the quently reflect, the matter. Her motion wide ranging views was supported by among the population about 800 union mem- Hil i of the college. bers. However, the Commenting on calls legality of holding a referendum had misunderstood his concept of for Charlie )oynt to resign, he said without first referring the matter 'hybrid entry' advocated during his his deputy had done an excellent back to ICU Council for considera- election campaign. Under this job so far, and he had no reason to tion has been challenged. scheme, smaller clubs would sub- question his personal integrity; any Moreover, if the referendum had mit a single entry, whilst larger misunderstanding was due entirely taken place, it would have clashed ones remain separate in BUSA to his inexperience in politics and with the annual Sabbatical Elections competitions. However, this could presenting his ideas clearly.

Extremists: Narrow Escape for IC

ANDYSINHARAY been faxed to them demanding to The Union also received a fax know why IC was giving space to demanding to know why IC was An extremist religious group "fascists". "We do get events under playing host to a group of fascists. apparently booked conference fictitious names," Felix was told. Michelle Lewthwaite, ICU office space at IC towards the end of "They tried several venues but manager, said that the union was last term. The group, turned away couldn't get in...we have to look telephoned from a man claiming to from IC after Police intervention, out for suspicious groups." They represent a different group who went on to stage the event in said the Conference Office organis- "weren't happy about them [the North London. One source es around 4000 events each year, London Turkish Islamic claimed several arrests were con- including those from mainstream Association] using college... the sequently made. Muslim groups, but annually guy went on and on." The caller It appears that the group, who receives "five or six" attempts at then confirmed his complaints in called themselves "The London bookings from extremist groups. writing by fax. "I then called college Turkish Islamic Association", made They usually have no fixed corre- security who told me the event had a booking only to have it later can- spondence address or a PO Box- been cancelled," Ms Lewthwaite celled by Security, who had been number, or may be vague on added. This has not been the first advised by Scotland Yard that the details of the event they wish to such occurrence: "There was a Association was believed to have organise. "We get fundraisers here, group here two or three years ago, be a terrorist group. and we can't be seen to be who caused big aggro," explained One Conference Office source fundraising for terrorists." Felix was Rob Clark, ICU Deputy President. said that after the booking was also told the group finally took the IC Security were unavailable for made, threatening messages had event to Stoke Newington. comment. NEWS 16 January 1998

Student Dies News in Brief...

ANDY SINHARAY rier, probably on a first, but no doubt of a two-one. We had no ishing at around 3am. Term has begun with news that yet worries." CCS SHOP Chetan Tailor, chair of the another student has died. The As regards the adequacy of Overseas Societies Committee Director of Undergraduate Studies pastoral care, Dr. Goodgame A member of the Centre for (OSC) which is responsible for in the Chemistry Department, Dr. added, "Welfare provision is fairly Computing Services Shop staff organising the event, told Felix David Widdowson, said that the good. It's scattered, but that's it's has been suspended in connec- that while the event would be sure third year was found dead in his strength, because it's diverse, and tion with "stock irregularities" to pull the crowds. "It's the Acton flat on Monday 5th January. the links are good." according to Professor Hynds, biggest IC event," he said. His flatmates attempted to revive Dr.Widdowson also told Felix head of CCS, who went on to add However, he also commented him, but he was pronounced dead that "We worry like mad as to that "the matter is now being that the expense was the main on arrival in hospital. There are whether we're doing enough" investigated fully". problem: This year's event had believed to be no suspicious cir- though he added it was difficult to David Thompson, head of the cost £15000, more expensive cumstances and an inquest has yet strike a balance between giving stu- internal audit unit was, however, than previous years, with the food to be held. dents freedom and imposing too unable to put a value on the loss, fair alone costing £5000. "It's a The deceased chemist represent- intrusive a welfare system. He also as all stock records have now large part of the affair," he said. ed, according to Dr. Widdowson, a added that if the student involved been removed by police officers Also contributing to the increased "very different" case to November's had difficulties they certainly investigating the alleged disap- cost is the new stage, being built suicide (Felix 1102). "He wasn't seemed well-hidden from those pearance. However, whilst no with equipment on loan from depressed or down-and-out at all," around him. As regards the avail- official figure will be available until DramSoc and St. Mary's. "We had he continued. "The whole thing is ability of welfare resources he said, a member of the CCS staff in con- to build it [in earlier years] and it's total mystery... he seemed per- "We would have to publicise even junction with the investigating a lot of hassle," said Samad Latif, fectly normal, though a bit worried more the personal tutorial system. officers make a final valuation, it is OSC honorary secretary. Both he [about exams]", though he stressed We're not even sure if it's suicide." rumoured that the cost of the and Mr. Tailor appeared non- that the student appeared to be One of IC's welfare advisors, stu- "irregularities" may run into sever- plussed at the comment that they under no more pressure than any dent counsellor David Allman, did al thousands of pounds, and the were tempting fate by holding the of his peers. He added that his not wish to comment on this par- police are treating the matter very event on Friday 13th February flatmates had been with him earlier ticular case, though he told Felix seriously. 1998. that day and found his behaviour to that students are welcome to dis- be normal. cuss any problems with him. STUDENTS OVER Dr. Margaret Goodgame, College "People are very welcome to come C&G STAFF LOSE Tutor, said "Chemistry is devastat- if any student would like to come THE LIMIT ed... we can't see any reason for it, and talk," he said. Mr. Allman can WAY TO UNION? I don't think anyone could have be reached on x49430. A new campaign to kerb student foreseen it... he was a bit of a wor- The continued poor showing of drinking is due to be launched by City and Guilds Union officers at the National Union of Students ICU meetings has resulted in the and the Portman Group, a self- C&.GU President, Vivake Bhalla, regulatory organisation funded by being asked to explain the actions all the major UK brewers to of his Union. Although Mr Bhalla's encourage responsible drinking. personal absences from several The report will stress the impor- recent ICU Executive meetings tance of sticking to the govern- were unavoidable, the reasons for ment's recommended safe drink- the continuing poor turn-out from ing limits of 28 units for men and the C&G Junior Treasurer at fund- 21 units for women each week. ing meetings and several C&G Whether the guidelines will apply officers' absences from Union to non-NUS colleges such as IC Council remain unexplained. Rob has not been made clear. Clark, Deputy President (Finance Services) described the C&GU as "failing to represent the inter- FELIX ON-LINE ests of their membership". Mr. Bhalla told Felix that he had been After a term of inactivity, Felix.net absent for the last two weeks "for has returned with a new layout. personal reasons." The contents of Felix will on-line Work begins this week on renovation of the area around the Royal in full every Friday, with back Albert Hall, opposite the Royal College of Music, writes David issues up to three years ago. The Roberts. The steps will be closed whilst the concrete layer which OSC BASH site is located at covers the original gardens is ripped up, to access the three-storey www.su.ic.ac.uk/Felix. Adobe basement beneath. In place of the current cramped Victorian plant- The arrangements for Acrobat Reader is required to rooms, a larger car park, delivery access points and offices will be International Night, one of the view the pages, and it is available packed into the underground area, to free the area from traffic. most successful annual events in on the site. When finished, the original stonework, balustrade and monument IC's social calendar, appear to be will be restored to their present locations. The Circle area will also going according to plan. As on be renovated, and the famous acoustic 'mushrooms' will be previous occasions, the event is removed for the Hall's ceiling. Although currently six weeks behind to include a food fair and show in schedule, the hall's chief executive still hopes that "the development the Great Hall in the Sherfield will be completed by 2000, restoring the monument, gardens and Building, followed by a disco fin- public facilities to their former glory". Photo: Aliki 16 January 1998 NEWS 3

rr Builders Get Ghoulish Trainer "Despicable

ANDREW OFORI sent in order to pursue their politi- cal careers. Leeds union have not Surprise Student unions nationwide have surrendered and are still pressing expressed resentment at the way the NUS to take a harder line ANDREW OFOR1 remarked on his amazement at the in which the NUS has conducted against fees. find and explained that the remains their campaign against tuition The NUS accused unions of Contractors were stunned to dis- were given the "necessary respect fees. failing to mount resistance to fees, cover a severed human foot while human remains should be treated There have been numerous whose introduction is planned for carrying out renovations in the with". He speculated that jovial demonstrations, such as the one September this year. The old Mechanical Engineering building. medical students had planted this held in Hyde Park on 26 November favourite, student apathy, has been Just before Christmas, a sealed sink portion of a cadaver as a prank, (Felix 1100), which involved selected as the root cause. These in the Biomechanics unit was being expecting it to be found in two or 10,000 people, reflecting fierce allegations were refuted by Matt converted to a store for workshop three weeks, never envisaging its student opposition. Hyde, the QMW President, who equipment, when it was found to unearthing by unsuspecting con- Unions felt that the campaign placed the blame on Douglas contain the disembodied foot pre- tractors fifteen years later. should have been spearheaded by Trainer. He defined the NUS as served in formalin. On the assumption its owner the NUS, and are severely disap- more of a "leisure complex" than a The police were called in to has no further use for it, the foot pointed with their tardy and feeble political body describing some of assess the situation, as regulation has now been safely and securely actions. Opportunities to recruit their actions as "despicable". dictates, and subsequently the disposed of by the college. future students to the campaign ICU president Andy Heeps coroner's office was informed. through schools have been missed. viewed the NUS allegations as a Tony Whymark, the project Unions have hit out at Douglas transparent attempt to shift blame manager of the renovations Trainer, the NUS President, accus- after a weak campaign. Although ing him of managing an ineffective, he agreed that current students undemocratic campaign by allow- who will not be affected showed ing Labour alliances within the NUS indifference, he suggested that the to obstruct positive action. The campaign should have "targeted NUS have been distinctly quiet at people starting University". He Labour conferences and David went on to say that one of the few Blunkett even thanked them for advantages of the fees would be their co-operation. Some student that they enabled students to com- unions feel they have not fully ben- plain about the standard of educa- efited from their joining fees. tion they are receiving on solid Leeds Union have proposed a grounds, but he asserted that "edu- vote of no-confidence in Douglas cation should be based on the abil- Trainer, that could bring an abrupt ity to learn and not. the ability to end to his presidential term. He earn". He saw Labour's fees sys- predicted that the motion will fail tem as unfair, as entrants such as due to an absence of backing, but medics could expect to be paying QMW proved him wrong by giving higher fees due to longer courses. their full support. However, the ICU is not a member of the NUS vote is unlikely to take place due to and Mr. Heeps has no intention of time restrictions. Helen Russell, of joining. He gave his support to Leeds Union, stated the NUS had Matt Hyde, and ICU shares his "portrayed the wrong image" of position of opposing the introduc- student feeling and accused mem- tion of tuition fees. bers of betraying those they repre-

RCS in Drunken Art Attack

JEREMY THOMSON entered the gallery and began to its distressed state by the artists The 22-Club committee were abuse the artworks, covering vari- Jason Pidd and Edwina Ashton, apparently unaware of the situation The 22 Club, the Royal College of ous pieces with wine, cigarette who had come in the morning to until the president was informed of Science elective social club, has burns and vomit. An offensive note check over the exhibits. They the situation by Pro-Rector Igor been banned from all college was also found at the scene, closed the gallery to the press, and Aleksander last week. "Regardless premises for two years following describing the perpetrator's opin- informed College of its condition. of one's personal opinions of the incidents of vandalism at a ions of the sculpture. The situation was particularly exhibition, it is a very regrettable recent dinner. The violation remained undis- sensitive, as the 'rolling art' pro- incident. Steps are being taken to The all-male old-boys drinking covered throughout the evening, gram in the gallery is to form an identify the transgressor", he com- club met on 29 November to cele- and the room was not cleaned that essential part of a forthcoming mented. brate their seventy-fifth anniver- night or the following evening. "It National Lottery bid to fund the The cost of restoring the exhibi- sary, and were allocated space in went swimmingly well... lively but new music and arts centre in the tion, which has now closed, is said the Main Dining Hall and the newly civil", commented 22-Club presi- library extension. A large emer- to be around £700. It is not yet refitted Ante Room Gallery, which dent Simon Baker. Unfortunately, gency meeting was called two days known whether the 22-Club will was hosting a modern art exhibi- the gallery was due to receive a later attended, amongst others, by have to bear these or related costs. tion, 'Blanket'. During the evening, press visit on the morning of the 30 the Rector, the Pro-Rectors and the one or more of the revellers November, and was discovered in heads of departments. J p Morgan

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These summer positions offer students the opportunity to work on a variety of special projects or to assist experienced professionals in their work. The programme also offers a range of educational activities which broaden the interns' understanding of J.P. Morgan and its business and the role of other financial institutions in the City. 16 January 1998 LETTERS

Letters to Felix.

NEWS FROM ENTS evolution is proposed to work (a about lots of things; I've got work slight drawback when trying to to do, I'm sorry. I hate to leave at Dear Felix, argue against something) but his this point, but I hope I've made the Another year, more stuff from own arguments in favour of cre- point. Please dont let Wes Hinsley Mark. ationism are so weak that if god anywhere near us again. I hope you all enjoyed the existed he'd surely be squirming Christmas Bond Carnival, it was with embarrassment right now. The good to see so many sophisticated one doubt Wes raises in my mind is Dear Felix, outfits. how natural selection could have I strongly protest against you But I'm afraid one of you took possibly produced him. printing fundamentalist creation- espionage a little bit too far by 1 have no objection at all to dif- ism masking as 'a scientific alterna- stealing the prize BMW from the ferent points of view, but I do mas- tive to evolution'. It's always the casino, and we'd really like to get it sively object to you printing an arti- same stragey: get some quotes back for the person who legiti- cle this weak, which has no coher- about the (real) gaps in our under- FELIX mately won it. So if you've sobered ent argument and spreads disinfor- standing of the evolutionary history up, or your conscience is bugging mation and misunderstanding, of life on Earth, put in a few quotes you, you could just drop it off at surely Imperial isn't the place to be from some physicists and material issue 1103 Beit or Sherfield Security, or in the pandering to this sort of reac- scientists (who usually have very Union and no further action will be tionary bullshit? little understanding of the issue) taken. yours astonishingly pissed- and then offer god as the solution 16 January 1998 But it's not all complaining, I've offedly, to the problem. Mainstream also got to tell you that dBs has Anon biochemist. churches are very happy to accept now been fitted out with a new 10 an evolutionary interpretation of foot video screen for all the big PS. Oops! I forgot to point out life and creationism is just a throw- sporting events, (and The all those flaws! I was having such a back to a prescientific dark age and Road. London. SW7 2BB. Simpsons!!) so your viewing plea- good go at Wes that it slipped my has no explanatory value whatso- Internal tel: 58072. fax: 48072. sure will be complete. See the mind completely, oh well, lets ever. adverts for all the details of what wade through the bullshit and point Don't let Felix become a vehicle Urgent out-of-hours internal: we'll be showing. out the smelliest bits: for weirdos to propagate their anti- And, just to prove there is a "Not one theory about evolu- scientific medieval pseudoargu- Email: [email protected] long term plan at work, the initial tion has been scientifically proven." ments!!! planning phases for the proposed -You wascally wabbit Wes, even Best wishes, Felix is produced for and on behalf extension to dBs are beginning to you know that scientific theories Dr. Robert O.J. Weinzierl ol Imperial College Union take shape. If all the work takes don't prove things, merely reflect Publication Board. place, as of next October ICU will best what evidence is available, possess one of the biggest and the evolution does this, so of course it Dear Felix, Felix is a registered newspaper newest venues in London. Watch isn't proof. I'm sure you already got truck- ISSN 1040 - 071 I Felix for details. "The spontaneous generation loads of letters about this article on We hope you enjoy all the of a living organism is impossible." creationism. Here's mine. I react as Copyright © Felix 1998. Photo- events and stuff we've got lined up -Oh really Wes? any evidence for a scientist, not as a christian or an for you this term, to help you take that? Didnt think so. no matter, you atheist: I will never know whether your mind off all those exams. just go ahead and state it anyway. God created the world or not, Cheers "An amoeba in some 'primeval because if He did. He could create Printed at the Imperial College Mark Home soup'." Not true Wes, amoebas as well all sorts of evidences and . \<;'.v, i. :>' Events &. Marketing Manager. came much later, never mind, we'll counter-evidences to prove this or i let you have that one. that. He could even create the ': *?vV::'\:c. | / . : :; ''i . "Amoeba... became a man, world by evolution (I don't deny CREATIONISM, MY woman, cactus etc while simulta- that the present state of nature is a neously remaining an amoeba all miracle). However, what I know is ARSE. that time." Wes, that would be that there is really few science in i: i> tricky indeed, but as you know, it is this article despite the way it's writ-

t'T'Cv, vv:i'ii: ' ..'-.v. Dear felix, proposed that we have common ten, so few it is worrying, coming the sort of observation-deduc- ancestors with all other living from Imperial College. News Editor?: Andy Sinharay. Paul tion science Wes Hinsley uses in organisms, not that we necessari- Let's begin with the main argu- : his Alternative Science article is, in ly evolve from them. ment: there is little evidence to Photographic Editor: Ivan Chan your opinion, worthy of a double "This...flies in the face of...the show that we evolved, therefore

fVi;<:;:.' iv'.::C'''::, page spread. The obvious flaws in law of entropy." Wes, thats bol- we probably did not. This is an y.'-'.ril!i'cfi.c'j., ],.';; 'iVeyS: his arguments could cover a double locks! living organisms rely, ulti- insult to basic logic and I won't edition. mately, on the sun as a source of comment. One could say that the

! : fiv.". C.;;>'i.->;i;',..-:'«-/ ' Apart from the downright lies energy, the system is not closed. evidence for the creationist theory about "scientific evidence favouring At this point, Wes starts crapping is very small as well: one book, special creation by god" Wes, with

; : : ;>'..:!;V'.'. ;':'.< si ' .'-.'iy.''.: ' , the help of the equally barking Dr Gish, create a stunningly absurd Deadline for letters is 6pm Tuesday. Letters may be edited for "demand" for a Creator by refer- length, but will not be altered or corrected in any other way. i ; ence to the Bombardier Beetle. Letters may be signed or anonymous, but please show your swipe 'rrw;!':":',';:'. ii l'V\r".-".'r ! i' Not only does he display his palpa- card when submitting them. Right Hand Man: David Roberts ble lack of understanding of how MORE LETTERS 16 January 1998

whose author is Second, any argument negating assumed as it will depend on cir- tors have told me that there are unknown. It's rather a scientific (or historical) research is cumstances and the penalties on risks (1 put it no higher as it question of balance. dangerous for the truth. I mean conviction in a criminal court can depends on the individual) of other The argument about that I prefer believing in evolution- be severe. What you may not be harmful effects on health. It is also entropy shows a deep misunder- ism, because there is a lot of familiar with is that the same Act much debated whether frequent standing of the very bases of ther- research left to do (as the article also makes it an offence for the cannabis use brings risks of being modynamics. The Earth is not a shows), than in creationism which College to permit anyone to use or introduced to other much more closed system. denies the need for science to dis- possess illegal drugs on premises harmful Class A drugs, mainly But evolution is a matter of cover the truth. That's my scientific for which it has responsibility or through contact with unscrupulous fact: for example, in the short peri- religion, and it's not atheism. control; the word "permit" includes suppliers. There are a lot of people od since the invention of antibi- Similarly 1 prefer believing that the "turning a blind eye" to drug mis- in all big cities who make large otics, bacterias have become resis- gas chambers existed, because it use. So the College takes a serious amounts of money from supplying tant to them on such a large scale makes me vigilant about the future. view of drug misuse on campus illegal drugs and who care nothing that it may soon become a real We can't hope to prove any- and all cases are taken to a Student for the harm they cause their "cus- public health problem. Biologists thing about the evolution theory Residence Tribunal as well as being tomers" and who resort to violence studying these resistant bacterias with only one single sample of evo- referred to the local police. In a few to protect their trade. are surprised by the number of lution. Science needs to make cases the police have prosecuted With regard to some of the techniques they have developed. experiments, but we can't afford to and severe penalties have in fact other points you made, Wardens All this, I recall, over less than fifty wait the millions of years needed been imposed by Magistrate and are in a better position to respond years. This, as other observations, for serious ones. That is the only Crown Courts. than 1 am but I can say that clean- proves beyond doubt that evolu- real argument for those who want There is much public discussion ers are not used as spies and it is a tion is currently at work in our this field of knowledge to rely on nowadays about de-criminalising slur on them to refer to them in this world. Now remains this other faith rather than science. recreational use of cannabis. way. As regards security guards question, can we extrapolate such Florent de Dinechin, Irrespective of the rights and patrolling corridors in Beit after small mutations within a species to Computing. wrongs of that debate, within the recent fire alarms, this was for a the evolution from bacteria to man present law we have a clear legal very good reason concerned with and bombardier beetle? This is a duty not to permit or condone its the protection and safety of stu- big leap. Considering the scale of use on campus. My own conversa- dents. time involved and the similarities HEROS IN GREY tions with students who have used between species discovered by cannabis, makes me believe that Yours sincerely, Darwin, evolutionists say, it makes Open letter to Southside Security there are effects on students (e.g. Dr Gareth Jones, College Tutor perfect sense. No proof, I agree, I would like to thank them for short term memory loss) of fre- but it makes sense. their kindness towards me last quent cannabis use which could The extensive example of the term. I know that it is traditional for harm their academic work and doc- bombardier beetle is completely Felix to be rude about them, but flawed: the author tries to con- they did far, far more than neces- struct it as an engineer, by putting sary on this occasion. After a rather HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS HAIR NEWS the pieces together in a certain alcoholic evening, I was waiting for order with the purpose of the final a night bus by the Albert Hall when result. This is precisely a creationist I was approached by a strange view. Evolution wouldn't work like man, and followed back to the that: living beings are full of useless Prince's Gardens Halls of HAIRCUT bits and bobs, and a small mutation Residence. The Security guards not may make a huge difference by only phoned the police, they also bringing some of these compo- took me home, which since 1 live in nents to a new use. The order of Fulham, is not in anybody's way.I £8.00 apparition of the different parts of am extremely grateful to them, the bombardier beetle can't obvi- they really reassured me,and never UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX UNISEX ously be the one described, but it made me feel like a waste of INCLUDES: doesn't have to be this order. time.Thanks guys. Then from the theological point Julia Harries V CONSULTATION with stylist to discuss your style, try of view, God wouldn't let us prove Chemistry 2Dear Felix, a new look and learn how to manage and control your hair. that He exists, even by dismantling beetles. SHAMPOO followed by Herbal Conditioner and scalp Now for the really bad thing in massage. this article. Some people also say THE DRUGS "there is little evidence that the gas V PRECISION HAIR CUT by fully qualified hair stylist. chambers were actually used to kill DON'T WORK experienced in modern hairdressing. jews, therefore they did not". This comparison is a little bit harsh, but Dear Felix USE OF HAIRDRIER with complementary gel or it makes two points: First, of course Your editorial "Mind Your Own mousse to finish your style. there is little evidence for the gas Business" in the 1 7 December Felix chambers: the Jews there were puts forward views that cannot go killed and burned all but a few, so unchallenged. OPEN 9.00AM - 6.00PM you'll get only a little evidence. It is As I am sure both you and your Last Appointment for Hair Cut 6.00pm the same for those missing links, readers are aware, the possession, Phone for information on other special offers, e.g. Perms. Highlights. Tints. which you take as a proof of cre- use or supply of illegal drugs such ation: in the evolution theory they as cannabis, is an offence under the TREVOR ROY SALON Misuse of Drugs Act 1971 and is disappeared under evolution pres- 52 Kensington Church Street, W8 sure, and it takes an awful lot of also an offence against College and luck to leave a fossil behind. This Hall regulations. Although the TEL: 0171 937 6413 doesn't prove the theory, of course, police often deal with such cases 3 minutes from High St. Kensington & Notting Hill Gate but it proves its consistency. by a "caution", this cannot be EASTER VACATION EMPLOYMENT

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LINKS will be running lifesaver courses It's a tragic irony that London, well. But what if they don't? Very throughout the term. The first is on the never-sleeping city that offers commonly, when problems devel- Sunday 25 January. The courses are par- so much in the way of entertain- op, they easiest 'solution' is simply ticularly worthwhile for all those sports- ment and social life can also be the not to turn up to college at all, at men, mountaineers, fellwalkers among loneliest place on earth. Whether which point all the normal support you. If interested, leave your name, email you're stuck in a damp flat in one systems fail totally. I know this, etc with either Charlie or Neil in the ICU of the rotting Victorian suburbs, or because it happened to me. Stuck resource centre (Ist floor). Further dates a social prisoner in one of the in a lonely flat out in Stockwell in will be orgainsed according to demand. dispiriting college halls, London my second year with no hope of simply does not offer the social catching up my course, I simply and moral support of a community. wasted time, not turning up for You only have to sit on a busy weeks on end. 1 could have had a underground carriage to experi- serious problem, I might have ence this very real and deeply dam- become seriously ill, 1 could have aging fragmentation; a hundred fel- been broke and evicted or I might Papers are available from the union office. low Londoners, united by a com- have become a drug addict. For all mon need to travel somewhere, my department knew (and, it but isolated to such a degree that seemed, cared) 1 might even have unsolicited eye contact is a minor been dead. BEST - BOARD OF EUROPEAN STUDENTS OF TECHNOLOGY crime. All it takes is to notice if a stu- Faced with this intimidating dent is having problems, or has " PROMOTE EUROPE AMONG EUROPEANS " environment, students need sup- gone AWOL, and simply phone Communication and exchange between students of technology throughout port - they need it from their flat- them up, see how they are getting EuropeAcademic events : summer courses, language courses, careers mates, their work colleagues and on and find out if they need any fairs, short intensive courses ...Cultural exchanges, sport activities... their families, but most importantly help. Positive action must be taken Well established network of 50 local BEST Groups all over Europe, within from their college. I am well aware to look after students, who are a high ranking universities in 21 European countries that IC has some excellent vulnerable and unusual group. They resources; the College Tutors, the are forced to deal with living inde- Welcome to the BEST presentation - THURSDAY 22 JANUARY AT 12PM Councillor, the Chaplains and the pendently, an enormous workload, ERE - Room 1-02- RSM BUILDING, 1st floor Health Centre can all help. But surviving on a pittance and dealing these all suffer from a fundamental with a traumatic stage of life all http://www.best.eu.org problem - they require the students simultaneously. Show them gen- BEST is a non-profit and non-political student organisation to go out an seek assistance them- uine interest and care into their selves and, as they say, when you well-being and progress, and you realise that you've got a problem, will have a happy successful group you're half way to solving it. grappling with some of life's What college needs is an effec- biggest challenges, and winning. tive and committed system to look Carry on treating them as sta- after its students. It is not accept- tistics on a league table and you able to assign students work with- will have increased depression, a out helping them to deal with the high drop-out rate, increased drug stress caused. Sure, if a student abuse and, as we are seeing, even attends all their lectures and tutori- suicide. HairsaloN als, then they are likely to cope 15a Harrington Road South Kensington London SW7 3ES (/ Minute walk from South Kensington Tube) Small Ads CUT & BLOW DRY

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Sagittarius (23/1 1 - 23/12) so avoid regretful pondering on the past by out- Leo (23/7 - 23/8) The prospect of rest and relaxal lining decisive resolutions. The fiery spirit of the Knight of Wands the carefree Fool, enhances provokes a fundamental yet benefj ties of spontaneity and enthusia^glirour ejpEen- Taurus (21/4 - 21/5) change in your current lifestyl tric humour and cheer trans|pflrri jj|u into the Inspired by the wisdom of the Kj;erophant, a powerful rivers of nature a I way life and soul of event. However as th\ centre of priest in ancient Greece, you reprefcjpt a ftgpre whereas the trickle of bois||lP attention, a reckless comment places you in an of reliable advice and guidance to dWOTfen- rupts the peace. Therefore ||Pl| uncomfortable position. bers of your entourage. Before afusing yMir your adventurous personality status of responsibility, rememberlhat a guap- tal boasting. Capricorn (24/12 - 20/1) ed secret remains your slave butSabetjj^d Under the restoring influence of confidence emerges as the master of your Virgo (24/8 - 22/9) troubled mist of doubt and confusion c haunted conscience. The prosperous Nine of Pentac your emotional cycle disperse^ Lib celebration and rejoicing » the confinement of disturbing h of your labour with regard 9 your renewed self-assurance aT prise. Despite the satisfying rfewardsj regain a sense of inner balance. Coura; 3-Coroscopes tion and appreciation, guard 'against1' a kite, as an opposing wind elevates you. of critical duties by equating the time4Rvd!ikl to business and pleasure. Aquarius (21/1 - 18/2) wit ft Rediscovering or establishing your roots and Libra (23/9 - 23/10) family ties, highlighted by the bonding Ten of The recent accumulation of restriartwewension is Pentacles. was the 11 ^ I

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mm LASAGNA BOLOGNESE the oil smoking hot before putting heads. Now gently bring the sauce mm- the vegetable in and to fry the to the boil, stirring often and sim- This famous italian dish is an pepper at some point. Drain as mer for 3-4 minutes until it thick- excellent winter warmer and much oil off as possible and com- ens. Salt fairly heavily as this is although it basically consists of bine all the fried stuff with the what the pasta will cook in. premixed splodge and stodge can tomatoes (roughly chopped) and look really impressive - I often do concentrate in a nice heavy pan Assemblage: it when I've got friends round. The over a moderate heat. At some point in the proceed- preparation is fairly complicated Next fry the pork until most of ings, you should preheat your and takes a while so Sunday after- its fat is rendered (melted) and oven to 190°C, gas mark 6. Take a noons (aka the armpit of Alan's add it to the sauce. Finally do the large oven proof dish and butter it soul, or so I'm told) seems an mince. When it is brown (not grey) liberally. ideal moment to get down to it. and just starting to stick to the 1) Pour on and spread out some There are three stages: making pan, add the liver, stir gently for a of the bolognese sauce. 1 prefer the bolognese sauce (which you few minutes until it have set. not to use too much per layer so can use for any pasta), making a Transfer everything into the sauce that I can make lots of layers but white sauce and the assemblage pan, vigorously reheat the frying that's just me. (or putting everything together). pan and then chuck in a glass of 2) Pour a large ladle of white I'll go through these separately. water (or better, white wine) to sauce on top of the meat. Quantities are for around 4 greedy deglaze the pan. This involves 3) Arrange a layer of lasagna on bastards or 6 quiche eaters i.e. leaving the liquid to boil for a top of everything. Break up the using 1 kg of lasagna. minute, scraping off all the stuff sheets if you need to. that has stuck to the pan and then Repeat l)-3) until there is no more For the bolognese, you will need: pouring the mixture into the bolognese left. Pour a final layer of f 500g finest beef mince sauce. Wicked flavours! white sauce on top, sprinkle with * 125g smoked pork belly, Leave to simmer for about an grated parmesan and bung in the cubed hour until the sauce is fairly dry. oven for an hour or so. « 40g chicken liver, finely chopped with a White sauce: The key to getting this dish right is knife (gross) or in a blender This is standard. Slowly melt a using the correct amount of liquid (slightly less heaped tablespoon of butter in a so that the pasta is well cooked gross) large pan. Then add the same vol- but doesn't float in a bath of sauce 1 onion, finely chopped ume of flour and a pinch of nut- when you serve it. The quantities «* 1 carrot, ditto meg and fry gently until the flour above should be OK but the 1 celery stick, re-ditto starts to colour. Now take the pan author accepts no responsibility llli: 3 cloves of garlic, crushed off the heat, add a weeny dribble for disastrous results produced by others. You'll just have to practice. * 1 can plum tomatoes of milk (say about a tbl) and stir Ill&lllll « A squirt of tomato puree thoroughly until the mixture is Antoine «" Vast amounts of olive oil homogeneous again. Repeat lots » Salt, pepper, mixed herbs of times until the mixture has the Ed's hot tip: Try putting generous llllllfll' consistency of say golden syrup or chunks of mozzerella cheese on There is no secret to making really warm conquaillotte. At this point top of the pasta each time you good bolognese: everything must you should be able to add the rest reach step 3 for an even tastier, be fried in lots of oil until dark of the milk (make 4 pints, if you fattier version. brown. Do the vegetables first, have any left over it keeps very one by one as they take different well in the fridge) without too times to cook. Remember to get many lumps rearing their ugly

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Well, if I'm not very much mis- When similar episodes took quash all opposing voices with ago. It did not run entirely to taken, this is 1998, so a very place under the Conservatives, Whips that make the Stasi look plan and they were banned from Happy New Year to you all. good men were hounded out of like Girl Guides. Quite why Tony the College. Surprisingly, they Imperial loves you even if some office on the pretext that the Blair is so afraid of any opposi- were schelduled to revisit of the departments have a funny Government could not apply the tion, even with an enormous Imperial before Christmas until way of showing it by giving you "Back to cushion of Security spotted the booking and exams before the remnants of Basics" doc- 179 MPs, is a stopped it in it's tracks. The the turkey have been completely trine to the mystery. All of meeting was moved to North curried. So much water has country, with this coupled (D London and resulted in a very flown under the bridge since we exemptions with the irri- large number of arrests and the lat met and I hardly know where for its own tatingly puri- intervention of the riot police. to begin. What better place than members. Yet tanical stance Regular readers will know that I the evils of drugs I would imag- young Mr. he has adopt- bow to no one in my admiration ine that the disclosure of Jack Blair has ed offers the for the Conference Office, an Straw's name came as a surprise made ethics c Conservatives organisation run with miltary to virtually no one, but this can and Christian o a real chance precision. It therefore comes as have prevented few from taking family values of landing a great surprise that they accept- at least a modicum of delight at a key feature blows on what ed this booking with little regard his misfortune. The issue of res- of New should now be for what had gone before. I sup- ignation in this case is a little bit Labour. The on paj. a relatively pose that even the finest opera- tricky, though of coursethe reason that easy target. tions in the world have their off waters would be distinctly less such breath- Time will tell. days, and as the cock-up was muddied had this happened to taking hypocrisy has succeeded, spotted before Sherfield was the last government. Along with so far, in saving so many skins, Finally, a wordof congratulation razed to the ground, no real the Robin Cook farrago, it serves brings us to arrogance. With to my dear friends in Security, harm was done. Rest assured, to highlight some very worrying such a large majority, dissent Ken Weir in particular. Those of my confidence in Conferencing is traits that have developed within can always be easily drowned you with long memories may completely unchanged by this lit- the shiny edifice of New Labour. out, but Labour have gone one recall the Friends of Palestine tle mistake. The first is, naturally hypocrisy. step further by attempting to shindig held here a few years

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0181 808 5232 or 0850 200648 FEATURE 16 January 1998 RENAI ANCE Civilization declined after the fall of the Roman Empire. Little of substance was contributed to

the spheres of science, philosophy or art for over a millennium. Then, shining out from the Dark

Ages, came the Renaissance. Julia Harries enlightens us further...

The Renaissance was the beginning of a new way of looking at the world, embracing politics, poetry, painting, sculpture, science, religion, architec ture and music.

The heart of the Renaissance was Italy, and in particular Florence. At the time, Italy consisted of many city states, each with their own government, and laws. The Florentine rulers were republicans, the Medici family, wealthy bankers and gener- ous patrons of the arts. Florence, even without it's art, is one of the most beauti- ful cities in the world. The view of the cathedral must rank as one of the most famous and best loved in the world. E.M. Forster even wrote a book about it.

CJuomo, Florence

This was work of great charm, rich in inven- this picture is that the focus is not the Holy tion, and filled with sweetly seductive Family, it is the cliff path leading to a images, dreamy harmony, and only a church, with the distance is clearly repre- superficial use of form and space. There sented by perspective. Art changed from was little true perspective - these were simple Iconistic Gothic painting to the Iconistic paintings. By breaking away from recreation of Nature in itself, with Man as conventions, Renaissance artists were able the centre point, not God. Mary and Jesus, L.ippi to portray the Holy Family as people, with the events from the Bible being set in the The myths of the Ancient Greeks and Until the fifteenth century, Florentine Art Tuscan countryside. This painting of the Romans were revised, and used by had been dominated by the heavily sym- Madonna, jesus and John by Raphael, painters, especially Botticelli. This painting, bolic school of Flamboyant Gothic. These shows Leonardo's influence, and depicts perhaps his most famous, shows the birth were extremely beautiful paintings, with what would have been familiar landscape of Venus at Cyprus. With her serene looks, limited subjects, and the personality of the to everyone who saw it. This is a long way and long flowing hair, she has come to painter was never expressed in the work. from the heavily stylised Gothic pictures. symbolise the renaissance, and in particu- Everything was done to further the glory of lar the Florentine style. Her face can be God. Artists such as Gentile da Fabriano Fra Filippo Lippi's portrait of Mary and seen in many paintings including the Mona produced really beautiful pictures, all with Jesus shows the Renaissance development Lisa and countless Madonnas. the same subject, always in the same style. of perspective. The important thing about 16 January 1998 FEATURE 13

The Birth of Venus, Botticelli

What prompted these radical changes? The there's Mirandola, Machiavelli and Dante. Renaissance was a time of sensitivity, Or you could simply go to Florence and fall humane scepticism, and intellectual curios- in love, just as I did. ity. The old view of the world was chang- ing. Religion was no longer of such para- The Catholic Church, however, would not mount importance. Michaelangelo was ille- be undermined. Lorenzo de'Medici, died in gally dissecting dead bodies in an attempt 1492, and in 1494, a religious fanatic, to make his sculptures more life-like, Savonarola, took power, exploiting the dis- Leonardo was carving lions in butter, content of the populace and their fears for Columbus was sailing to the New World, the future. Most people were poorly edu- Amerigo Vespucci was naming parts of the cated and jealous of the wealth and influ- Globe, Humanism was conceived by Pico ence of the ruling classes. Savonarola della Mirandola and Machiavelli was wanted a "Back-to-Basics" campaign: for- scheming. get reason and humanism, hell-fire and damnation awaited all those who did not The Medici family returned to power and follow the Church's doctrines exactly. their sponsorship of art continued. The Books, jewellry and some of Botticelli's Church gradually changed it's views, and paintings were burnt on huge bonfires. But the world moved on. The Renaissance was during this period, Michelangelo, ever a a period of great change and upheaval, and sceptic, created one of his finest sculp- also of violence and extreme worldliness. tures, the drunken Bacchus. Savonarola, To learn more about Florence and the however, didn't last long. He was burnt as Renaissance, I recommend "The a heretic. As Machiavelli said, "Nobody Civilisation of the Renaissance in Italy" by should start a revolution in a city in the Burckhardt, "The Rise and Fall of the belief that later he can stop it at will or reg- Medici Family" by Hibbert and ulate it as he likes." "Renaissance Art" by Russelli. Alternatively, Madonna, Lippi

A REMR1 14 DIVERSIONS 16 January 1997

MUSIC - 14 20 - BOOKS The Prodigy and Morri; Battersea Read all about the sharp new novel The All reviews are given a mark out of powerstation, th< unique Tortoise and Cut. What we think of Clive James' latest five as follows... your weekly dollop ifc jhifli i effort and one for the astronomers out CLUBBING - 16 there. 18 - ARTS Beck's Jo Public looks at the club Movement XXXX Castlemaine reviews of DreamScape, Andy Lewis and DramSoc's new production Insignificance the Dreem Team, plus more singles rwn k * * Stella Artois ever before. Alex Katz FILM - 19 * ir Fosters A look at Bring me the Head of NI&Mm 24 - ISAMES Davis, plus four biting critiques of current Two &mesiaB&t"«*, Dynasty Warriors it Boston i releases. and Jersey Devil. Plus, what's plastic, has two arms and a tail? No Stars Tennents Extra

PRODIGY Brixton Academy

ell. It was good...but they told me not to say W just that, so I will have to elaborate, I guess. Arrival in Brixton was met by the usual barrage from touts... tempted to sell the tickets and run... no, grab some dinner of dubious nutritional value and in. Defenders of liberty may balk as their ticket is scanned and arrival is registered. Still, not to worry, we're in. One support act lost to arrival time, another to vain attempts to procure anything other than a generic 'beer' from the bar. The one actually witnessed was quite unex- pected. A quintet of people in Teflon hats attempt to outdo each other with their new break-dancing moves. Some moves that were obviously pretty tricky, others that were pretty plain and others that just went wrong. Still, it did serve to focus the audience's attention for the imminent arrival of the main feeling that it was too much like just that is,for the departure of last tube act. With two second-hand experi- any gig, with the band at the front which seemed to draw away a ences of the Prodigy live - booed and decreasing grades of moshing rather large share of the audience... off the stage in Munich last year out from the stage. This slight Richard and in top form in a previous doubt was instantly dispelled as appearance at Brixton - I wasn't Keith made an impromptu appear- completely sure how well it would ance on the lighting control place in go. The general mood was very the midst of the crowd. Two secu- positive though. rity guards flanked him constantly, Eventually they're on and the preventing any suicidal crowd surf- full splendour of their industrial ing. The cynic in me said that this stage set is revealed for the first stunt served its premeditated pur- time. Straight into Smack My Bitch pose very well, rejuvenating a Up with the video-they-tried-to- slightly flagging concert and split- ban (err, that'll be the video-they- ting attention sufficiently to the did-ban) projected onto the video atmosphere a bit closer to that of a walls, volume at expected thresh- club. old-of-deafness levels, lights on Later still, after the completely brink of inducing epilepsy and the predictable encore - why do they perfect crowd response. They con- bother? - the D| returned and there tinue through a broad selection of seemed to be no forced rush to new and old with only one flaw, the leave, a refreshing change. Except , i6 January 1997 MUSIC

ALBUMS

TORTOISE + MOUSE ON MARS MORRISEY + SALARYMAN Battersea Powerstation

Camden Electric Ballroom

n the world of post-rock, from the last two decades. Heavy have never seen so many Dr. sessed by demons, striving for just Tortoise are kings. This is large- dub is followed by electro, funk Marten's boots. Never so many a touch of their Messiah's hand; I ly due to the fact that the chases disco down drum and bass I of same covered by turned-up with grace, a kiss. Two men got up group's driving force, John alleys, and the crowd go mad for it jeans. I have seen quiffs before, but simultaneously, charging toward McEntire, has been involved in pro- all. Particularly good are their hard none so large. And the daffodils... the unflappable vocalist before ducing, engineering or playing with house tracks, rousing anthems that well, it was fairly clear that it was being dragged aside by the few the majority of the bands that fall drag our hands into the air as the the right place. "I used to be the remaining roadies and security into this badly-defined genre. So German duo take us to broad drummer in a band called The staff. The way was clear, and a lone any bill that features them at the plateaus and tease us for a Smiths"; Stephen Morrisey knows thirthysomething got up, and top is guaranteed to be bursting moment, before forcing us even how to play a crowd. incredibly he had a full with experimentaiism, arhythmic higher. When Tortoise have finally He sang superbly fifteen seconds of stage percussion and a dangerous ten- set up their huge amount of equip- throughout; anc time ahead of him. dency towards fifteen minute long ment, they treat us to a gentle although his recent Hugs, kisses exchanged, improvised sonic excursions. wander through rolling sound- trend of whipping him- hands raised to the Fortunately, Salaryman keep it scapes. Dyed is compressed into a self with his microphone crowd in exultation, and short and sweet. Dressed in identi- (relatively) short ten minutes, and lead was a tad distract- the fulfilled dream of cal white shirts with black ties, they yet they still capture the full vitality ing, 1 doubt a single per- many; a few shared look like the reanimated corpses of of the track, especially in the 'bat- son took their eyes off lines with Mozza and Kraftwerk after a makeover from tling xylophones' section. The band his for the whole perfor- then he was off, The Gary Numan. No robotic keyboard frequently swap instruments, so at mance. The music; well the open- Man Himself as close to laughing playing here though, as drum and times two drumkits and a Moog er, Satan Rejected My Soul proved as I have ever seen. On and on bass beats are twisted and warped battle for control before the power itself to be more than just a t-shirt blazed chorus after chorus, ever through a bewildering array of fuzz shifts to a slow, funky bass. This filler. The absence of classics such louder, ever more glorious, and effects and tone phasers. They spirit of improvisation is the key to as Dagenham Dave and The Last of then it was all over, the lights came pound their battered old Rolands the Tortoise sound; only hours of The International Playboys was dis- on but the magic stayed; the same with gusto, and make an interest- effort could ever produce a perfor- appointing; almost every song was smiling faces, Shoplifters sung en ing, if occasionally unlistenable, mance this effortless. As they from his slow selling Maladjusted; masse on the streets, and I wasn't din. Its only on their final song played Night Air, a calm rapture but no one was about to complain. the only one who floated home. Humus that it all starts to make spread from the stage to form a It took the final encore track to The quiff is smaller these days, he sense, where a guitar is stapled to pool around us, and we were left really give the crowd what they has one or two more lines on his death to produce a epic dronefest backstroking through it with glee as wanted; and he came through in square, square face, and even the that could have come straight from the bass twisted and turned spades. Shoplifters of the World, nicest suit could not disguise a bur- Mogwai's Young Team. through the room. Most of us were Unite was triumphant, triggering geoning stomach, but he has still Mouse on Mars offer a whole still swimming when we left. the most entertaining stage diving I got it, don't let anyone tell you oth- different set of reference points - Norm have ever witnessed. Grown men erwise. Viva Morrisey... in fact, every dance music style leaping onto the boards as if pos- Mr. Trout

SINGLES

Radiohead - No Surprises Bag - Blue Suburban Skies Wireless - In Love With The Familiar This is the third single from Felix's 1997 album This could easily be Blur a few years ago. What Yet another bland guitary song attempted to be of the year, OK Computer. It is a beautifully del- is it about the word suburban that brings up spiced up with a string arrangement in the back- icate ballad nearly but not quite worthy of the images and sounds of the Beatles. Well the title ground. The CD cover has a nice picture of fish essential choon this week. of this track is true to its influences. Unoriginal and chips with a side helping of mushy peas. and bland. Out of the three items on offer, this song would Space - Avenging Angels have to be the peas. 'Nuff said. Welcome back Space, unfortunately. Once The Essential Choon again they have released a mediocre single that Insane Clown Posse - Halls Of Illusions appeals at first due to its sheer novelty value Bernard Butler - Stay Menacing hip hop with an irritatingly catchy based on the 'quirkiness' of the tune. However The first thing that strikes you about this song is chorus, the line 'This is all because of you' on second listen you're soon convinced that Bernard's voice. I don't know what I was embedded in your head, which no amount of you've just had enough. expecting but it wasn't the angelic one that effort can remove. you're greeted with. You could compare it to the The High Llamas - Cold And Bouncy recent Verve material, which is fine praise, Skoot - Seems To Me How does one describe this? Is it possibly an splashed with a bit of Oasis's Champagne A lively, bouncy indie pop song that is pleasant attempt at lounge core easy listening? Supernova. He has wisely stayed clear of any on the ears but doesn't exactly capture any sort Background music at best is probably the best Suede comparisons by writing in a totally differ- of vibe. What is happening this week, there guess. ent mood. seems to be a huge influx of bland indie tracks.

Rialto - Untouchable Cuckoo - Non Sequitur This is a very mature sounding song with soar- This track is more grunge than indie, along the ing string accompaniments and you might say Gravediggaz - The Night The earth Cried same lines as the Fountains Of Wayne. It's a it's full of pretentious overtones. Starts off in a A lament to the days of the slave trade whose catchy tune although it isn't very memorable. promising if brooding manner but then changes lyrics preach out over an equally sombre piano to a pretty cheesy chorus. Disappointing. line. Jason 16 MUSIC 16 January 1998

CLUBSCENE - THE UNDERGROUND MUSIC GUIDE

Hello and welcome to a new year at IC and tle and haunting. You can find the original on Simmonds is more complex and relaxing than also with the Electric Cafe. Hope you'll enjoy Glitterhouse Records. Don't Judge the Silence most of the latino house offerings of today. the sounds that we'll be covering this year on by Edge of Emotion points out that techno Yet a simple turn of the volume knob in the Clubscene. need not be fixed completely on four to the loud direction turns it from easy-listening After the hectic rush of Christmas and floor rhythms. Rolling drums and big beats all pleasure into a very danceable piece of music. New Year parties, and all the crazy music in one provide the structure to a very classy Sccobs of Columbia by Plaid has been one of associated with them, I thought that I'd cover track. the dancefloor hits of 1997. Salsa piano riffs the more chilled-out and eclectic styles of and funky scratching; tumpets and big beats. music that are emerging from London nowa- What a combination! days. I was particular/ motivated to do this We soon turn to reggae in the form of after listening to a new compilation album Work Hard by Charismatic. Chilled out listen- called Atlas Earthed (Jumpin' and Pumpin'). ing and completely different from anything Atlas is an underground record store based in you are likely to hear for a long time - this is Soho (Archer Street) that has been dealing in dub reggae with a distinct electronic flavour. cutting edge music for a couple of years. Pete Herbert is represented by his own Many other stores in the area prefer to music, under the pseudonym Bushflange with keep to their music policy strictly. However Nick Rapaccioli. The basis of their track Atlas' philosophy has always been to connect (Chicken Feed) is a deep jazz riff. When the people to great music that would not other- track finally kicks off it is a real treat! Layer wise be given a chance in a world dominated upon layer of sound jostles to get to the cen- by catagories and cliques. Countless different tre of your attention. The result is a highly styles of music will be heard during a visit to enjoyable track. Atlas. From dub reggae to latin soul; deep The type of music on this compilation can melodic house to blunted hip-hop breaks. be further investigated via a variety of Techno is also well represented from Detroit sources. Well-established labels such as to Chicago and London to Berlin. The empha- Mo'Wax, Ninja Tunes, Talkin' Loud, Outcaste, sis here is on what sounds good, not what and of course all the labels representd on looks cool! Earthed are all excellent starting points. And The album itself contains eleven pieces of of course if you are ever stuck in the rain in music that the staff of Atlas feel have really Soho and feel like listening to some great and caused a stir in recent times. In fact Earthed varied music, you can always pop into Atlas was compiled by Pete Herbert, the manager to relax for a bit. of the shop and an accomplished D] in his While the world outside keeps on churning own right (as we found out last year when he out new sub-cultures and styles of music that visited the studios of IC Radio to record an are supposedly better than the last, places Electric Cafe broadcast). like Atlas are making the cement to hold the My personal highlights include Nod to whole thing together! H20 by Rainer. This is a moody downtempo Many thanks to Pete, John and Kirby at number that blends the echoes of an acoustic Latin eclecticism is well-represented here Atlas Records. guitar with a flowing synth. The effect is sub- in the form of two tracks. Luna Swell by al;ck

CLUBSCENE - CLUB REVIEW MOVEMENT

AQUARIUM, 260 Old Street. (10pm-4am E10 members/NUS. £15. Smart Dress)

his is a club I've heard a lot you feel relaxed thanks to friendly and resident Huge Gunnal. As for tide period and clubs are to capac- about but never been to, so door policy of no search at all, a the styles of music being played, it ity this is well worth a visit. When T when the invite came to go pleasant change from the normal started off in a cheese house style, this place is full you are guaranteed down there 1 jumped at the chance. full body search experienced at but as I was told it's not a strictly a mad one especially when people Now being run by Paul Nelson the most clubs. You just walk straight underground club. But as the night start jumping in the pool. I'll defi- man behind Raindance, probably in. went on the music did get more nitely be returning to check the the biggest & best events of late The main room just oozes class underground, fat garage b-lines and place in full swing, and don't forget 80's earlier 90's, so he knows how plenty of mirrors and silver, a large driven house beats soon took over, to take your Speedo's. HE to throw a party. bar that's quite pricey £3 a bottle, and in the 2nd room which is usu- /o Public The night we went was 29th absolutely wicked lighting system, ally open playing 93/94 december not the most lively time and an ample sound system, that's hardcore/jungle, funk & old skool. in club land, and due to this only incidentally hung from the ceiling And although their was only a small the main room and the pool were as are the decks cool. But not the crowd most of the people were open, yes that's right there's a best thing for the DJ's as the decks dancing and there was a surprising- swimming pool &. Jacuzzi in the keep swinging back and forth, ly friendly atmosphere. club with changing rooms. Not that which was doing at least one Dj's At this point I must give a big anybody was using them, not really head in that I was talking to. shout out to Phil Mitchell of the weather 1 suppose. But 1 feel it But this did not seem to have Eastenders fame who I saw chilling was good that the 2nd room was any real affect on the quality of the at the bar, if it's good enough for closed, as it created a better atmos mixing, as I hardly heard a bad mix him it's good enough for me! and a little crowd In the main room. all night from the four Dj's, Tony This club has serious potential, From the moment you walk in Nickels, Paul Jackson, Nigel Clark once everyone's got over the Yule 16 January 1998 MUSIC 17

CLUBSCEIME - COMPETITION VIBES, MICKY FINN & JASON KAYE In Brief

Dreamscape (Vol.2) - The Vision D&B Selection.

been tried and tested at one with JK's experience and skill Dreamscape events, they're almost can. Some of the tracks featured late last year that I did not residence. are: Altern8 Infiltrate 202, Bizarre A A have a chance to mention. Disk 1. Vibes keeps the 4-beat, Inc with Such A Feeling, TopBuzz happy hardcore coming at ya like Living In Darkness etc. from Nico & Trace. Cells. Dark only he can on disk 1. Dropping With all three of these CD's (if stepping beats and an excellent such tracks as Venus Sound of you've been there before), you can sample in the break-down. Love, Vibes & Seduction Free just sit back close your eyes and ''.: i/.><-:;;;:.?'.'' - .:-' of :

Yourself & Visa Fly Away. you're there. Standing in a throng ; A-j'i':! ' fV> ' ::''"'-a/ Disk 2. Micky Finn, one of the of people, music crystal clear, the most consistently on-it Dj's you'll lights going crazy and an atmos- collection of stepping beats with a ever find and one of my favourites. phere of peace, love 'n' harmony. :}': &>:

those of you who know of off with that bad-arse Urban nal underground dance music. LTLcl :. ,' Dreamscape I needn't say (write) Takover remix of The Jungle Jo Public much, as you'll know what to Brothers Jungle Brother. You get Breakz II. a awesome collection of

expect. Shit-hot Dj's dropping the idea of how things are going to Those generous people at , ; ibyf «::/; ; massive tunes and value for carry on: fat, fat bass-lines, crazy Phuture Trax have given us two ' (!'< :.>)>;!'* .'i',.?.i':.-'.?!>rrO money. amen breaks, jump-up D&B at it's copies to give away to you lucky here such as Optiacl's To Shape For those who don't it's safe to best. With the lyrical wizardry of people. All you need to do is , : 'A .. ' '>;,, say that Dreamscape have been MC GQ another of my favourites answer the following question: Majik's dreamy Repertoire with putting on some of the very best and undoubtedly one of the best tracks also from Ed Rush. Sci 'raves' over the past seven years. after Conrad. You're set for a non Where was the first Clone. Adam F. Lemon D and On a truly massive scale, giving stop ride on that D&B aeroplane. Dreamscape event held ? :. Vh.-r viAy. VT '(>'' value for money, top quality pro- Rounding things off is Jason 'I '

duction and of course the best Dj's Kaye, one half of TopBuzz taking us Entries into the Felix office as ' 1 ':

& MC's in the world. Where ten's back to the days when he, Mikey B usual. ., of thousands of party people have & Patrick rocked the place on many .III I.;' had the time of their lives. many occasions as the TopBuzz These 3 CD's capture this spirit collective. All 15 tracks are classics excellently, using Dj's that have and mixed together like only some-

CLUBSCENE - COMPILATIONS ANDY LEWIS DREEM TEEM UK GARAGE FEVER IN SESSIONS (VOL 2)

and cutting the records and not as has been made with the likes of if a computer is doing it all, as I'm Amira's Desire, RIP's Rip Groove, sure many of these mix CD's are Somore's / Refuse and Scott produced. Garcia's It's A London Thing all Things are set rolling with featured. I though it a tad modest Matlok's Rocket, a wicked tune putting their own tune, The Theme, and it's just gets better from here on there twice albeit in two differ- on. Fat b-line after fat b-line rolls in ent mixes. with tunes such as David Anthony's These three boys are making Anticipating, Banana Republic's big noises in the house/garage Catch The Feeling (one of the best his mixed compilation, like world and I can see why. They have tunes of 97' for me) and Baffled many of the big name house been around from the start, and Republic's awesome Bad Boys T compilations, lacks any excit- pioneered what has been come to his is probably the best (Move in Silence) to name but a ing mixing and pretty much just be known as Speed Garage by the mixed garage CD out at the few. gets the mix in and keeps it there media but what they would call it, T moment, truly capturing the So if you want to find out what for a while before fading it out as would I, is just Underground vibe & styles of the clubs 'n' pirate this underground garage / house without any cutting of the records. Garage, combining jungle b-lines stations of London. No cheese, no thing is all about then check this That said there are no mash ups and structures with garage beats fillers just 13 fat 'n' fresh floor one out. It is also a must for those and it all rolls along nicely. But as and bpm. stormers, many still unreleased. who know. the Dreem Teem is made up of One of the best garage compi- The involved mixing by Andy Lewis To see Andy Lewis flexing his three people, Micky B (from lation you'll find, showing the UK is a nice change from the fade-in mixing skills live 'n' direct you can TopBuzz fame), Timmy Magic & club scene as it really is with no fade-out styles of mixing normal ly catch the man at EC1 club, Peach Spoony, what did they do - play a fillers, just quality underground found on this sort of mix CDs. It @ Camden Palace and Cookies & couple of tunes each? cuts. EE actually sounds as if he is mixing Cream @ Base. EH Jo Public A strong selection of tracks Jo Public 18 MUSIC 16 January 1998

CLUBSCENE - ALBUM DJ VADIM

USSR Reconstruction (Ninja Tunes)

Russian DJ, Vadim, capturing a truly Conquest of the irrational, the (nice use of bullfrog sounds!) and multi-cultural collection of remixes Jupiter Jam mix of Abstracts and Herbaliser's mix of Conquest of the of his crazy dope stuff. It features the powerful Theme From The irrational. The variation in the use remixes by artists from all four cor- Conquest Of The Irrational remixed of sounds in the sample is diverse ner of the globe including Japan's by the Prunes.The style goes all the to say the least - some of the DK Crush, Canada's Kid Kola, way to other, more down-beat, no things you can hear are whale call- England's Animals on Wheels and, vocal tracks. sand bullfrogs as well as a whole of course, Vadim from Russia. This There is outstanding use of host of others. This journey is com- is a good reminder that England is scratching throughout the journey, pleted on a down-beat tempo, not the only country pushing the and some of the ways that the use leaving you with a sublime feeling boundary's of electronic music. of, what sounds like, live record after the CD has finished. Again, This album has a definite down- manipulation (scratch mixing at it's this collection of bleeps 'n' beats is his awesome collection of beat/ hip-hop feel to it but some best) is truly great. Some of the designed to be listened to, so sit breaks 'n' beats has been put tracks are more rap/hip-hop orien- tracks that stand out for this are back and enjoy the ride. ELcl T together by the pioneering tated such as The Herbaliser mix of Kid Kola's mix of The Pimp Theme Jo Public

CLUBSCENE - SINGLES

mmim

Freddy Fresh. Revolvo. Out Now Barabas &. 0D1. Rhythm Inc. Drum Lessons EP. (Eye Q) White label. (No U Turn) Deeper (Phoenix Uprising) Tell The World. (Sweat) 26th Jan. This is dark 'n' deep just the way I 19th Jan. 98. Mid Jan. 98. Cool drum patterns and stabs of like it, squelchy bass tones, clean This one boarders on hard banging This has a couple of Dub mixes guitar all roll together nicely, but crisp beats and eerie atmosphere- house 'n' techno with its hard, fast that sort it out, fattening up the it's a shame that he decided to put icals. It just keeps building layer driven beats. The Jon The Dentist beats, cutting down the lyric to in the Hulk Hogan style Hoooo! upon layer, then it's all stripped mix is more action-packed, using only a snippet of the original and That spoils an other-wise wicked back to minimal beats cut back 'n' that well-used sample from the echoing 'n' looping it. Making it a track, other tracks not as strong forth with more crisp beats and a Todd Terry tune, also used by Jay more full on track, those Dubby an OK little ep. beautiful vocal blends over the Dee in Plastic Dreams - you know beats save the day again. atmosphereicals. A must for those the one. The A-side is kept more Skylab. looking for something different. minimal, with a more trancy feel. Candido. Dancin' &. Prancin' Judas EP. (Eye Q) Out Now. Both sides will certainly take you 187 Lockdown dub (Catch) This track is driven by electric gui- Goldie. Out Now deeper. Mid Jan. tars looped, stretched and fuck Temper Temper. (MetalHeadz) This one-sided promo has hardly knows what else, over a breakbeat You may have heard the Random 2. (Beggars Banquet) been off my decks since I received style drum pattern. That guitar Grooverider mix being played on The Gary Numan Remixes Pt 3 it, and has got a great reception starts to work it's way deep into the radio, with Noel from Oasis on This remix series continues. Dave when played out. Strong bass your mind and, yes, this one's guitar &. Goldie on vocals, although Angel gets things going with a typ- drum sets the pace, building up dark 'n' deep. Another quality pro- it doesn't sound much like him. ically funky, but unremarkable, with the looped title sample. Then duction from Skylab. And I don't see why they used interpretation of Warriors. More a comes the b-line that you can't Noel on guitar, other than to make track for the already converted 1 help but move to, top notice once 16B. Oasis fans buy it. It's sure to be a guess! The Liberator Djs are taking again from the from 187 crew Blackhole (Eye Q) 19th Jan. big seller. no prisoners with their mix of Are This track is a smooth, top quality I prefer the Optical mix harder 'n' "Friends" Electric?, and proceed to Jerome Isma-Ae. production and a pleasant journey darker as it uses less of the vocal. rip the place apart with their hard Mellow Yellow Tracks EP. into the blackhole, jiggerly drum Only Goldie and crew could make beats. Good stomping fun! Steve (Compose) pattern, echoing spacey sounds &. this sound so good. Stoll has the last word. Remember Mid Jan. stabs of trumpets, wicked tune. I was Vapour reminds us of his minimal, abstract style. The sister label of Compost Freestylers. Feat Tenner Fly. A Guy Called Gerald. (Juice Box) (Munich) releases this EP of relax- B-Boy Stance (Freshanova) Radar Systems/The Fallen Prince Underground Resistance. ing vibes for chilled minds. Mellow 26th Jan. of Heaven The Turning Point EP (UR) Yellow Pt. 2 is my personal This as good as it gets, an 26th Jan. "Mad" Mike Banks serves up his favourite. A catchy rhythm teams absolutely wicked tune, you'll be Two dark d'n'b tracks give us a vision of how the future will sound. up with a punchy bass-line to lay hearing this everywhere soon. It's taste of Gerald's forthcoming Soul Circuits is a screeching piece down the funk. The strings and bound to go top 10, with it's roots album. Fallen Prince of heaven is a of electro. Sharp bursts of an organ flute keep the piece fresh and har- defiantly deep in the underground, twisted up selection of breakbeats, collide with stabs of electronic monic. The flipside contains two no sell-out business here just pure not to be listened to on your own! pain. Spirit Caller is dark techno, mixes of the more harmonic, easy quality. This one's gonna put big- Radar Systems is a sneering, which manages to retain an organ- listening flu bassoon. FTlCl beat firmly in the public spot light. mocking piece; daring the listener ic, tribal feel. This contrasts to Tuff beats, fat bad-arse bass-line, to open their mind to the expanse High-Tech Funk, a minimal, bleepy awesome scratching, wicked lyrics of its creator. An EP so resolutely electro tune that'll bounce around Jo Public &. al;ck from the one &. only Tenner Fly. ahead of its time comes along very your head. First Galactic Baptist Get this while you still can as it's rarely. Don't miss out, taste the Church is my personal favourite. gonna sell out big time. You have future. Finger lickin' southern deep fried been warned. funk finds its way into outer space! 6 January 1998 FILM

BRING ME THE HEAD OF MAVIS DAVIS

Starring: Rik Mayall, Jane Horrocks -kit Director: John Henderson

hose of you who found the but she is reluctant to acknowl- No attempt is made to dispel ing for a more mature sound. humour of Bottom con- edge Marty Starr's help. His the suspicion that this is a Mayall There are one or two genuine- T cerned too often with bodily thankless task becomes more vehicle, and his facial contortions ly funny moments, notably Mavis' functions will be relieved to learn demanding when Mavis' popular- adorn every scene. Danny Aiello, determination to continue her that Marty Starr, Mayall's charac- ity begins to flag. When we join however, shines as the sinister Mr national tour despite Marty's best ter in Mavis Davis has far more to Marty, he is down on his luck, Rathbone, who is convinced that efforts, and the film's climax is do with his earlier creation, Alan struggling to revitalise his pro- Marty can make a success of his surprisingly neat. Mavis Davis is a B'stard. While the schemings of a tegee's fame, when he suddenly son's awful Britpop band. Jane moderately entertaining comedy, Tory minister are no longer topi- hits on the highly original notion Horrocks too is superb as the self- but only Mayall's most devoted cal, the idea of a music producer that her untimely death would obsessed Mavis, never straying fans should be disappointed if it manufacturing a pop career are raise her profile no end. The bulk too far over the top. The music passes them by. Q far from fanciful. The singer in of the film then centres on throughout is excellent, and her Simon Bradley question is the eponymous Marty's abortive attempts to soulful anthems are no exception - Mavis, played by Jane Horrocks, orchestrate this fatality. perfectly capturing an artist striv-

. . OUT NOW .... OUT NOW OUT NOW OUT NOW. . . . OUT NOW .... OUT NOW. . . . OUT NOW STARSHIP TROOPERS THE JACKAL

Starring: Casper van Dien, Dina Meyer Starring: Bruce Willis, Richard Gere, Sidney Poitier Director: Paul Verhoeven Director: Michael Caton-jones

ing) computer-generated bugs rep- feared around the world. Sidney resenting the Viet Cong, perfectly Poitier is the FBI agent sent to stop suited to their home terrain, fight- him, and in a desperate attempt to ing the pretty boys and girls who find anyone who can identify the enlist straight out of College. Jackal's true identity he turns to However, it's also a vision of a fas- convicted IRA terrorist Gere. cist future, where only "citizens" The chase then ensues, as have the right to vote - and the Willis dons false wigs and beards right to citizenship can only be one by the score as (yawp) he attempts through military service. The fun to stay one step ahead of his pur- ith this effects-driven, begins as the doomed batallions suers . Yet the feeling still remains mind-exploding cre- take on the killer creepy-crawlies in aving been disowned by that the squeaky-clean FBI opera- W ation, Paul Verhoeven gore-soaked CGI battle scenes. As Fredrick Forsyth before a tives have released one terrorist finally turns 360 degrees through the bugs rip the soldiers to pieces, H shot had been taken, simply to catch another. the quality circle. Total Recall was you can almost hear Beavis and hopes don't ride high for the re- As a safe evening's entertain- good; Robocop was mediocre; Butthead sitting in the directors make of the 1973 nail-biter, The ment, The Jackal still manages to Basic Instinct was downright bad; chair, yelling out ideas "Yeh yeh, Day of the Jackal, and the film lives hold it's own thanks to some well Showgirls was laughably awful; monster rips guys legs off. Hey up to these expectations, ditching orchestrated action; a surprising and now Starship Troopers rede- cool. Bug impales grunt on leg. the originals believability in favour performance from Willis, who, fines the phrase "so bad it's Heh heh". Or something. Q of all-out action and some really whilst not the icy cold killer the film good". David big guns. really needs, shows off his versatil- The plot is intended as Vietnam Bruce Willis is the Jackal, an ity; and that amazingly big gun.fl in space - the (amazingly convinc- assasin and master of disguise, David

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID, PICTURE PERFECT

Starring: Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar Starring: Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Bacon, Jay Mohr Director: Jim Gillepie Director: Glenn Gordon Caron

t's a Jennifer Aniston movie who only starts to chase her when rying to cash in on the suc- receiving threats. -what are you expecting he realises he has a rival. Will she cess of Scream, writer Kevin Scream was applauded for its I here - Citizen Kane? What choose the right man? Of course TWilliamson falls flat with his knowing take on the horror genre you get is a perfectly competent she will, and a good thing too, as latest take on the horror genre. but / Know resorts to the type of romantic comedy, with Aniston, Mohr shows himself off with a fine The plot begins in standard scenes which the former spoofed as an advertising exec trying to performance, whilst Bacon horror mould, as four teenagers so well, such as the female lead climb the corporate ladder who remains on autopilot. Indeed, it's driving home from a party alone at night, trying to solve the has everything (good looks, nice competent performances all accidentally run over somebody in mystery herself. hair) except a man. round, with Aniston falling easily the road and throw the body into / Know just leaves us waiting to As per romantic comedy rules, into a part not a million miles from the nearby sea, Although they're see what May's Scream 2 will she finds herself torn between Rachel on Friends. certain nobody witnessed their bring.... Q nice, sensible Mohr, and the evil Take your girlfriend. 'Nuff said. deed, the next summer they start Dick Dastardly...sorry... and Bacon, a 20 BOOKS 16 January 1998

FICTION

THE SILVER CASTLE Clive James

orn on the pavements of allegiance to different gangs. Soon, ourselves caring about Sanjay and Bombay, Sanjay is an unusu- he graduates into a guide for TV what happens to him because he B ally beautiful child. His cute crews and then into the rent-boy has only really been brought up in look and soulful gaze gave him an trade in which he gains the favour the way of the street. It would be advantage over those begging for of one particular middle-aged man easy in a story like this to analyse the same food that was needed to who buys him a cheap room. He Sanjay's character in a detached survive. Begging is all part of having also attends a special school run by way. It would be easy to attach his the right look and Sanjay had that. volunteers once a week. It is obvi- downfall to his inherent amorality. At the age of seven, he wanders ous that Sanjay is intelligent and he It would be easy to call this a trag- away for a while and finds himself picks up English quite quickly ic-comic story and throw Sanjay at what he believes to be a silver although, comically, not quite into the long list of tragic heroes castle. Unknown to him, he is on understanding its irony in certain including Macbeth and Lea/ who the set of a major Bollywood film. situations. Throughout, Sanjay is had but one flaw that could not be Finding himself in favour one day, obsessed with the film world and reconciled. However, this is the he is thrown off the set the next. reads all the magazines and goes very aloofness James is encourag- He is beaten by his father for stray- to the cinema as often as possible. ing us to avoid. Sanjay is real. He ing but the memory of the silver Soon he finds himself catapulted exists. You will no doubt see him castle and the beautiful princess into its world and far from the lowly and look into his ruined eyes, one stays indelibly stamped in Sanjay's pavement. However, in the end it day. Whether you recognise him is mind and both become an obses- all crumbles away and Sanjay finds for you to decide. Dennis. " You can stand aloof from the sion from then on. himself without the favours he had sufferings of the world; you are The novel takes us through previously relied on. Clive James free to do so and it expresses Sanjay's life. He becomes both an has proved himself a skilful writer Publisher: Picador your nature; but perhaps that very adept beggar and once he is no with this commentary on Bombay Price: £5:99 aloofness is the one suffering you longer seen as a small child, devel- and the Indian film industry. He Available: Now. also shows his sensitivity as we find might have avoided." -Kafka. ops into a skilful thief, changing his

THE CUT Daniel Blythe

his is not an easy book. It is an extremely into lots of fights with them. One night, howev- well written, fast paced, well plotted book er, things go horribly wrong, as someone is T with excellently drawn, deeply unsympa- killed by the stolen car they're driving. Bel's thetic characters. It's written through the eyes of world spirals out of control and she finds that Bel, a nice, well-educated middle-class girl, her so-called friends, including her boyfriend, brought up in a seaside town somewhere on the will betray her time and time again. South Coast. She is also a sadistic, cruel bitch, I really liked this book. Bel is a nasty, com- without a spark of humanity, who believes her- pletely believable character: I have a friend who self to be above things such as kindness and tol- is a bit like her in many ways, and I can see ele- erance. She is the proud owner of a small, slim ments of her in myself as well. Of course, I'm deadly weapon: a flick-knife. Bel's just finished not a knife-wielding psycho, totally devoid of all her A-levels, and now feels trapped in Suburbia. human feeling, but there are some things that She really wants to get out, but she's bored and she does that I've sometimes contemplated can't be bothered to change things. To relieve doing. 1 was fairly bewildered by the title, The her boredom, she goes to parties, to clubs, joy- Cut, but it apparently refers to the day when Bel riding, shoplifting, takes drugs and has sex in will stab someone with her flick-knife and kill churches. She also sleeps with someone for a them. It's a state of mind, an assertion - as I said hundred pounds. this isn't an easy read. Her mother died when she was fifteen, and I recommend this book to anyone who grew some of her attitude problems stem from that. up bored in a small town, to anyone who's ever But she's uncompromising and doesn't attempt really wanted to kill the person they hate most to justify her behaviour at all. She doesn't want and anyone who's ever thought that nice mid- your pity, or post-Freudian psycho-analysis, she dle-class girls couldn't possibly ever behave like just does what she does because she wants to. complete yobs. You are so wrong. Nothing Bel ever does seems to be right for It's not really a book to give your granny the type of family she comes from. Due to her though. Julia H father's wealth and status, no-one ever suspects her or her rather dubious friends, even when they ram-raid a few shops, steal CDs and The Cut - not the sort of book to cheer Publisher: Penguin destroy thousands of pounds worth of goods. youself up with, really. Price: about £6.99 Suspicion always falls on the kids from the Available: 5 February. rough end of town, the Fallies. These people naturally become their enemies, and they get 16 January 1998 BOOKS

NON-FICTION

FIRST LIGHT Richard Preston

irst Light is the 'cult' 1987 book by Richard akin to a novel than a work of non-fiction; in the Preston, author of The Hot Zone. Now in a introduction Preston admits that he did not new edition, it is the story of the intend for this to be a science book. However, a Fastronomers at the Hale Telescope at Palomar book about scientists is obviously going to have Mountain, Southern California. The telescope a lot of science in it. This mixture of soap and was built by George Hale in the 1930s and is the science does, in this case, work very well. largest working telescope on Earth, with a mirror Although not quite 'Eastenders' it shows that two hundred inches in diameter. It is housed in astronomers can be exciting. This approach is a a massive dome, looking like "Hollywood's idea subtle one but is effective in explaining the sci- of a Mayan temple." The astronomers here are ence involved and making the subject entertain- searching for light from the edge of the universe ing, although this was not the primary objective and their lives and work are described in metic- of the book. It is a very good introduction to the ulous detail. The book centres on the distin- subject to people with little knowledge on guished astronomer Professor James E. Gunn of astronomy. It is still useful to experts from the Princeton. Other important characters are the insights it gives into the lives of professional sci- senior night assistant Juan Carrasco, the entists and interesting to those who have no American astronomer Donald Schneider, the interest in the actual science from the way in Dutch astronomer Maarten Schmidt and Eugene which it works as a straight novel. It is a read- and Carolyn Shoemaker, now famous for finding able and extremely accessible book. the comet that bore their name. The book is full of fascinating facts, including certain names of Chiron asteroids and planets: Lucifer, Tolkein, Publisher: Corgi Mr.Spock, Swissair, Retsina (the Greek wine) Price: £6.99 Hale and his two-hundred inch telescope and Transylvania. Preston wrote the book by Avaiable: now observing the astronomers first hand for the period of the story, "like Jane Goodall among the chimpanzees." This has created a book more

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UH, HUH, HUH. HEH HEH M HEH HEH. YOU SAID "COLUMN".

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Hello, hello...

is returning to its pre-Christmas return to second-order differential level. I am naturally disappointed equations, and the rest will wish to to discover that there is still no re-affirm their love of Southside turkey here. I sincerely hope every- Bar, and remind themselves that, one enjoyed the break; let's all be yes, the beer really is that cheap. glad that it wasn't another frugal Personally, 1 am looking forward to Sherfield two-weeker. Once again, a second term reminiscent of that solemn New Year's resolutions will in the first year; work, counselling, be swapped earnestly in the dark painful relationship trauma, depths of Southside Bar. None will impending failure, missed lectures, be kept, least of all the ones about therapy by alcoholic oblivion. As "going to all lectures this year", or Gary Glitter once prophesied: "It's any containing the words "teetotal" good to be back." or "drugs". 1 am going to ignore any Hands up all the freshers who have correspondence pointing out that not joined any Clubs or Societies this includes more than one of my yet. Too busy drinking, huh? Didn't New Year's resolutions. that term fly by? You are going to There are some things around look quite silly next year when Imperial I am sure everyone has there is no hall bar to pop into. Plus missed. Students returning to Hall you will probably have decided that will be glad of the simplicity of you hate all the people with whom ' elcome to all! Folk who drunken swipe-card entry, rather you are sharing the draughty flat in have avoided death by than the significantly more complex Brixton, especially if one of them is "Now I'll transfer £2,000 from W: Chicken Flu or CJD will be mental computation required to now making a move on your sweet- Union funds into your able to observe that the population operate a set of keys and a Yale heart. My advice is to pick a club or account..." Ali and Jeremy get of turkeys is beginning to return to lock. The intrepid Felix crew are rel- society. Did I mention that Felix caught on security camera while its pre-Christmas level, and those ishing a return to cheap curries, needs a new sports editor? supposedly laying out the first few feathered fowls still remaining cheap computers, an extremely issue... will be appreciating the resultant cheap collator, and the all-pervad- Ali Campbell fall in their life-insurance premi- ing smell of cheap litho ink. Three ums. Similarly, the population of IC or four students might appreciate a

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Kensington Gardens Hyde Park Class Prices Kensington Gore |RCA| r\ Members 1 ^-Albert Hall Non Members 1.50 "i 1 i: , : l» Mj Prince's imperial C of lege Dl Garden; Professional Instructors uthside Science ^ Gyro Museum at Student Prices!! CLASSES HELD HERE 16 January 1998 ARTS 23 *tf IMAGINATION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN KNOWLEDGE

INSIGNIFICANCE Terry Johnson y self-imposed holiday tion. She doesn't understand it. confidence in life, aided by his task was to write a pre- One of the main themes of the play solipsistic outlook that everyone Mview of DramSoc's pro- is the conflict between knowledge only exists in his mind, enables him duction of this play. This was actu- and understanding, each character to destroy without conscience both ally a lot harder than I'd anticipat- representing a different angle to the life and work of the Professor. ed, since I've not seen a perfor- these supposedly complimentary Ain't difficult once you've sold mance, and so I've no idea how it ideas. These concepts are usually you soul. My orders are to find his will be staged. I've heard that it's assumed to go together hand in work, take it and sit on it. Then I going to be dramatic and spectac- hand, but the play highlights how get a call and I hand it back or I ular with a "big effect" at the end. we often misinterpret one for the shred the damn thing. I've given a Having read the play, I now know other in love, life and science. great deal of thought as to the that this is a tragic comedy about The Actress loves her husband importance of these documents knowledge, Relativity, understand- in a way he'll never understand. He and I came to the conclusion that ing and the poignancy of human wants to possess her, to own her. the shape of Space/Time is of fuck- relationships. She wants him as a counterbalance all importance to any of us. It's just There are four characters: the to her own feelings of confusion, paper, otherwise why would he Professor, the Actress, the to her own insecurity. He seems throw it all away? Ballplayer and the Senator. The so secure, so right in what he is and It's this "ignorance" that scares Actress is married to the Ballplayer, knows: he's an all American boy, a the Professor because it lacks true and it's their failing relationship gum-chewing, hard-hitting, World understanding. that is the tragedy of the play. The Series winning baseball player. Smallness happens and alone- characters represent real figures, I He's also stupid. ness happens but the miracle is won't tell you who they are, just You remember my first orgasm? that insignificance doesn't happen. that it's set in America in 1953 at Yep. The stars tell us we can walk on the the time of the anti-Communist Afterwards I lay in the dark, grass, talk to anyone we meet, terrors. The States were gripped by utterly exhausted, hoping you touch these people, ask anything of the type of mass hysteria usually might light me a cigarette, and them; the stars won't think the only expressed by mourning what did I hear? Pop. That's all I worst of us. The stars won't even nations. hear now, pathetic little explosions, notice. Knowledge is nothing without that's all you give me. Insignificance. Don't be fooled understanding. Knowledge is not You want a divorce? by the title. This play will force you truth, it is merely agreement. You So stupid that he works at his to think, to question your own cannot understand by making defi stupidity, building it up as a barrier knowledge. How much do you nitions, only by turning over the between him and her, a barrier that know? How much is received wis- possibilities. It's called thinking. could eventually destroy one of dom? How much is genuine com- The Actress has just explained them or their marriage. prehension? How much can you the Professor's Specific Theory of Their inability to grasp each explain? Everyone at Imperial Can you guess who it is yet? Relativity to him, but she only other's ideas of knowledge and College can benefit from this play. knows the General Theory by heart. understanding only help to compli- Go and see it. I can't wait to.D Knowledge, however, is far, far cate their lives - a problem not more than mere parrot-like repeti- faced by the Senator. His assured Julia H

THERE'S NOT ENOUGH ART AT IMPERIAL COLLEGE (THERE'S SOME POETRY, THOUGH)

25 YEARS IN PAINTING Alex Katz

lex Katz is an American artist family, mainly his wife and son. When I spoke to him, he told me of considerable skill. His One of his best known works is that his work is meant to be optical, Awork is heavily influenced by "The Red Smile", his wife laughing. by which I think he meant that his the late Renaissance school, espe- Although not on display, this is a paintings were not to be analysed cially artists such as Tintoretto and truely beautiful painting. But Alex too deeply, that they were Veronese. He is exhibiting for the Katz's work is beautiful. It's full of designed to appeal, rather than to first time in the UK. Unlike many of perfectly formed all-American boys be intellectualised. his contempories, such as Norman and girls, but it's cool, in a terribly The last Saatchi collection was Rockwell and Andy Warhol, Alex New York sort of way. It's the the truely horrendous Sensation, Katz has never been pigeonholed same cool as Count Basie, as Lou dismembered cows, embalmed into any particular category. He Reed and as Andy Warhol. sharks and other works by British could never be classified as a Pop The Saatchi Gallery is itself "artists". This time, however Artist. He is almost unique in his amazing. It's white. Stark white. Charles Saatchi has spent his treatment of his subjects. The only This really highlights the vivid money wisely on one of the best artist I can think of who seems to colours of Katz's work. According artists in America today. Go and express the same love for his mod- to him, his work is both abstract see this exhibition, it is stunning.El els is Anthony Green, a British and figurative. I think that by this Red Coat by Alex Katz artist, now living in Cambridgeshire. he means that they express real Julia H It's HUGE Like Green, Katz prefers to paint his things in an unrealistic manner. 24 GAMES 6th January 1997

REVIEWS

Dynasty Jersey Devil Warriors Ocean

Ocean* Platform games have been a largely untapped seam of gameplay on Let's face it, what modern 3D consoles - with the the world really exception of Crash Bandicoot and needs is another | Mario - but Ocean are hoping to fighting game for change this with Jersey Devil. the Playstation, Claiming to have a non-linear isn't it? Well, this appears to be blow from four different angles in dynamic 3D environment, it aims what the boys at Ocean think and quick succession. Completely gra- to be a true 3D platformer rather so we have Dynasty Warriors. But tuitous and guaranteed to raise a than the restricted environments of it's not another Tekken clone, oh smile from the average violence- Pandemonium. no - there are weapons (ooh), it addicted gameplayer. A highly amusing and excel- has lush high-resolution graphics Dynasty Warriors boasts all the lently animated opening movie sets equipped with wings, and can float (aah) and - wait for it - the charac- bells and whistles that are the scene, showing the evil Mad down safely from heights, all too ters are based on 2nd and 3rd expected from a modern fighter - Professor aiming to take over often the player is presented with century Chinese history (waheyl). versus mode, endurance, team jersey with his army of mutant veg- levels chock full of teeny weeny Seriously, this isn't really all that battle, practice and a plethora of etables. (Sounds familiar? It will be, platforms above a gaping abyss. bad. The graphics are rather options. And that's just about it - as they've nicked the plot from Falling into one of these results in impressive - both fighters are what you see is most definitely classic cheesy B movie "Attack of an immediate loss of life, much to highly fluid and detailed, animation what you get. There's no real point the killer tomatoes"). Only the the annoyance of the poor game- is superb and the presentation as a in playing the game for hours on enigmatic Jersey Devil can stand player. This is platform tactics from whole is great. Dynasty Warriors' end, as there just aren't enough against him. the Manic Miner school, and controls are ludicrously easy to combos and skills to be discov- The game's non-linear levels shouldn't be found in a modern pick up, with two attack and two ered. The promise of three hidden predictably fail to arrive, with the game - especially on the first level, defend buttons. A quick waggle of characters doesn't really extend different levels available from the when the player is still becoming the joypad and stabbing at buttons the longevity of the game. town square in a strict order only. accustomed to the irritating cam- results in a very slick set of moves However, if you want a fast era angles and unsubtle controls. from the on-screen fighters. For moving, gorgeous beat-em-up that Strong character design, a won- those who like things really easy, is face-meltingly easy to pick up derfully haunting and atmospheric special moves can be assigned to a and enjoy, this is for you. Is it soundtrack and the wacky cartoon- single button so that even your Dad worth spending forty quid on as like world help to entice the player can pick up the game and have a well as Tekken 2? No. Is it worth into the game. Unfortunately, this hiring for a night and getting pissed is all wasted as the increasingly The one nod to advanced whilst beating merry hell out of frustrating gameplay and puzzles gameplay is the 'special move' bar. your mates? Definitely. Did 1 laugh which have seemingly random This is increased by aggressive play out loud when I first saw the action solutions rob the player of all will to and once fully charged, devastating replay? Oh yes. carry on. Jersey Devil fails to live up special moves can be unleashed. Mark Baker to its promises and is ultimately an These moves are not only the most Price: £45 unsatisfying game. spectacular in the game, they Format: Playstation Mark Baker should hopefully leave your foe This is exasperated by the need to Price: £45 face-down on the floor. When you wander around until an entrance is Format: Playstation or your opponent are vanquished, found, adding only extra frustration rather than the de facto slow and boredom to the game. This motion replay, a high octane could be excused, but for the next instant replay shows the killing flaw; although Jersey Devil is

PERIPHERALS

What is it? eight available using the normal moment there aren't that many direction pad. It's also good for (Jersey Devil, reviewed above, It's the new Sony Playstation flight simulators. supports it). Analog Controller. Does it do anything else? Is it any good then? What does it do then? It's also a normal controller - a It works very well - the con- You see those big knobs in the button on the front changes troller is a bit bigger, so it fits in middle? Well, those are diddy between analog and digital your hand well. It does depend little analog joysticks. So you modes. So you can use it with on the game to some extent, have a greater degree of con- any game. though. trol. What's the catch? How much does it cost? What's the point of that? Games have to be written to You should find it for £25 in If you're playing a 3D platform support it - you'll find an most shops. That's about £10 game, then you can move in 'Analog Controller' icon on the more than the standard con- any direction, rather than the back of games that do. At the troller. leu ents presents.... Term E

Gvery Fri/6th

Tuesday POP TAIRT BUST-A-GUT comedy club BAR TRIVIA

Davinci's 8pm KEDonizm

Fr/30th common people

With live music from Sellophane Sun

Sth BOST-A-GilT comedy club

2 rooms 9-1 SHAFI

free b4 II Fri/3th

POP TAIRT Gvery FriZOth BUST-A-GUT Thursday comedy club

Cccktail KEDOnillil

Night

Davinci's 5-11 ABANDON Live music from 4 college bands CAPITAL 16 January 1998

DIVERSIONS FOR THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS

POP TARTS Women's Minibus Service The Verve Top pop tunes from the Takes lone female students Brixton Academy sparkly pop tarts in dBs, plus home in safety all over London. . ; v £12,50: eclectic dance and cocktails in First Run - Midnight, the UDH. Free B4 9/£l after. Last Run - Closing Time. Sugar Ray Also runs on Wednesdays. LA2 Friday Night AimisD®' £8,

iOiiii: ! ,

Rifle & Pistol Club The Blue Parrot The Verve 7.05am, BBC I ICU Kung hi Club Stand by Me 9pm, C5 '. ,: if! , Looking After Jo Jo V'-'' '' >l.i.':. 10.10pm, BBC2 St Elsewhere 1.50am, C4

STANDING ROOM ONLY ICU Kung Fu Club Bentley Rhythm Ace + Lo-Fi Everton v Chelsea. Live on the Training, 4 30-6.30pm, iO.iin : Allstars + Earl Brutus + DaVinci's Big Screen. Bar Southside Gym. All Welcome. s yy-. Headrillaz from noon. sissy Astoria i : £8.50. Dragons ..,1.00 li.

ICU COUNCIL Sesame Street . .. 111: I 12pm, C4 yy-l.-isvl : y.ys y s;x. vv.'Sh'V f, ,:s.iii:,,.sly,:,t!v:i <<' Light Lunch

(kfcli1 . 12.30pm, C4 ' y Eastenders : , i ' .!'' :-!"',';! 8pm, BBCI . yssy i. .IS- Ken Horn's Hot Wok

: ' . ' 8.30pm, BBC2 ' Metyiyy. ; 'yyv; y.-;-; I «y:y. Film '97 With Barry Norman ! il, !': .. ! '1 i| : | 11.15pm, BBC 1

STA BAR TRIVIA. Community Action Group . '.:- Deftones + Dust Junkys + Your chance to win £50 Soup run 8.15pm. Meet in Idlewild CASH or a crate of lager. Quiz basement kitchen, Weeks Hall : Astoria starts at 8pm. S&G Outdoor Club 1 £8.50. Meeting, 1 pm, Southside SS , Circus Skills Soc 6p..s, Georgie Fame And The Blue Meeting, 6pm-9pm, Table ' Flames Tennis Room, Union ' ' ,,; ' Jazz Cafe Yacht Club £12, £10. ypsn, s'l Theatre 3

: Wing Chung Kung Fu Rifle & Pistol Club The New Adventures of Spiritualised + Ciystal Method I jjjl Street self defence - Personal Join.and viiio:. lu/yyopm Winnie the Pooh + Jonathan Fire'Eacer + ,ind safety and protection skills - 3.50pm, ITV Trained armed and unarmed Cni.-\ie rom.T'iiniij;', is noo.n A Date with an Artist sounds Close-Quarter combat - i.'.h,i|iM'a"y.> '":,)'.' s C-arclens. 7.30pm, BBC2 '(!:. .Jif:;' Guaranteed confidence and Skate Sa ER s 8 : y) fitness. 'iteittiy, sst>"i;«: ky :>.-vfjv-mr-;s 9pm, C4

FREE LESSON AND DEMO nip ryxss :'.'..>!ii.«'ssysye Friends With the renowned Sifu Chess dub 10.30pm, C4 Andrew Sofos. 1.30pm, Union yyyy jy.Xyyy,. (Sown Gym CiVTihiiiio/livsn, l.y»rii(.vo.i

Community Action Group y ' : Supergrass CONTEMPORARY CLASSICS . an IC Soup run 8.15pm HS-Syry Iffics Shepherds Bush Empire From Bach to jazz, with SJICtlK ;ilii .' yX) .>!(». yj. vi s Meet in basement kitchen, . ' £12.(Rescheduled date; origi percussionists Colin Currie & '"'.i....n 6pm. i yyy ity.K.m; Weeks Hall Kpm Hfi< nal tickets still valid) Sam Walton from Sinfonia 21 , II:-', i.'l. : ':! ! IC Choir ; ' i.y FREE Rehearsal, MechEng room 342. 83§pm, C DAVINCI'S COOCTAIL NIGHT New members welcome. "' ,' SXs,e . The best value cocktails for :;..i0 »n. i;:'- miles Bar from 5pm. 16 January 1998 CAPITAL & CROSSWORD 27

PUZZLES CRYPTIC CROSSWORD

By Ed

Mario Benzedrine's Pop-Up Apocalypse 'V. !/: ' Etcetera Theatre Club ''.)'< .0:0 . Ifc'v . H.i'.-r,. 6.V'i ' i.io- Camden (til January 31'St) ... i 1 SO iflr.i i.liO. Odeon Kensington oi'/: oo' 0-123 y.i Sightings-New Photographic Vdnoui Breaklbedt nights® Wamer West End Art Institute of Contemporary Arts '.''. ''.'I Oil! The Mall (til March 15th) I J :

Devil's Advocate Heavenly Jukebox @ Tummills Virgin Trocodero Chemical Breaks 'n' Beats, 1.00, 5.00. 8.20. I 1.30 See REVIEW next week' Jon Carter, Norman Cook, Virgin Fulham Road Etc. 9.30pm-3.30am £8 12.00, 3.00, 6.00, 9.00 Strawberry Sundae @ The Odeon Kensington Diamonds Cloud 9. 67-68 Albert Embankment, SEI. 2.35, 5,45. 9.00, 12.10am ^ ;:. : .i' ' " h ' Warner West End Underground House & UK 12.30, 2.30. 3.30, 5.30, 6.30, Garage, Drew, Luis Paris, 8.40, 9.30, 11.40 etc. £8b4 11 pm £ 12 after/ students £10. !0pm-7am.

.... Kit and the Widow in Rummaging for Fluff : virgin Fulham Road Vaudeville Theatre : ' iv.'i- :. O/0': i .:.;!,,,,',..,; '.' The Strand (tilJanuary31stl ' i !

UCi empire Leicester Square Martinu: out of exile ;;„:ii,ri. Ji/i Chamber music played by ACROSS DOWN Odeon Marble Arch GSMD students :. . i'.'i ,

Barbican Foyer ;V|,,i; . I i.-.- I l2.30-2pm Harbour the queen in African city 2 Richard loses one, and nothing is (4,9) in the trees! (13) 10 Not tinny, but strange (7) 3 One sort of explosive makes a Bring Me The Head Of Mavis :,:;,'! i . ;r;.,/. ,..:,. Sultry Funk @ Fridge Bar II Stop nothing in his lab, pale colour (4) Davis i,r; ;:.<: Brixton Hill perhaps (7) 4 Perhaps toy ally brings Laid back soul, funk & Virgin Chelsea House 12 Art gallery shows nipple (4) faithfulness (7) 1.20. 4.20, 9.00 10pm-2am £Free Info: 13 Reserved, a backwards fool... 5 Eager Greek god without a lowly Virgin Trocodero touch of Evil 0171 326 5100 (5) half (7) 12.10. 2.25, 4.40, 7.00, 9.20 Warner West End 14 ...is in reversed decree! (4) 6 Kick shoe (4) 2,10, 4.40, 7.10. 9.40 North by Northwest 17 Sea flows and swirls one wet 7 Small bottle ends trip - losing day (7) the last is of little 18 Allow red wound (7) importance! (7)

Picture Perfect The Grizzly Beard Li:i: 0. 'I : \v~ ' : 19 Jewel-keepers mix-up storeys 8 Calculated cost to show position The Courtyard Theatre (7) of punctuated speech (9,4) Warner W est End Nr Kings Cross 'I. !.,::. 9 Jesus and Ian mean trouble for ! 22 7pm, £5 ' . '. ' ! -I Country holds Ro with mental st(«'.;-, 0o:y..' :y:ffi: . " illness (7) informal title (9,4) I C i Aliil J': 0! 1 ' lilin 24 He sounds like the post! (4) 15 David starts finishing too deli For more info on anything ir 01/1 .j,'f- 'i.:.iO. 25 Try street as meeting place (5) cate cloth (5) the Arts Column, either ema Julia at [email protected] uk, or po| 26 Run without one downfall (4) 16 Magma destroys Greek letter into the Felix office 29 Turn things over, looking for (5) spirit mixing a gem (7) 20 Alone with French name 30 Theo remembers hiding around David's son (7) Starship Troopers Swerve @ Velvet Rooms Charring Cross Rd. WC2 statement (7) 21 Sharp sound from loose rocks Odeon West End Pi;r;i'.»/ (U.i Itl! '. Upfront D&B, Resident 31 Thin gentlemen confuse by Church? (7) 12.15, 1.45, 3 05, 4.55. 6.00, Fabio £6 /Nus £4 European period (13) 22 Female flower? Not quite a 8.50 V;< >ii . '. : I0pm--2.30am Info: 0171 734 4687 decoration! (7) Odeon Marble Arch II.1 : 'i . I I.. ' 12.05. 3.05. 6.00, 9.00 ,"/. Oil .]' (iji:-} '' 23 Particle from one turn? (7) Virgin Chelsea 27 Magic reduced to bringing gifts 12.40. 3.30, 6.20. 9 10 (4) 28 Concerning the morning pieces of paper? (4) Titanrc (Previews) More arty-type films at the BistlfSiiSriiTilsj:: t Riverside Studios Haijf '!l' I'lvllrKif. NoiJ't, viiVfri r l ; :M::<-. ill Sid and Nancy Wti'icliOilO TiiTiCii ,V:;iriir. ... (1816.30pm fvll'.OfV lly.yil.y Mr jOpfi'i f £10 Blockbuster Video Token To Be Won \ Odeon Kensington wn 0.0 b'l II.J'J Warier First correct entry drawn out of the box on Tuesday morning wins this Nil by Mouth Ulomate BASE® Velvet great prize. Drop entries into Felix or send them in internal mail. Last CWeon Marble Arch Rooms (I8j 8.45pm week's winner was Duncan Barker of ChemEng. Congratulations! A £20 :; oo i i., i Ri'i. >. '".:: |' On video token awaits your collection. Well done to everyone who com- rechrx> Eli Kifirn-yairi Info v pleted this fiendish puzzle. Answers on request! / oi 7i / ;y:087 28 SPORT 16 January 1998

Fencers Note For Your Diaries Editorial

As from next week the Imperial formed to compete in the BUSA Thrust College Rifle and Pistol Club will be archery league. holding a regular archery session Those attending must be mem- Hullo Everyone and a happy new every monday evening from bers of ICRPC. Membership is year. This is the first issue of Felix Ahead 6.00pm in the projectile hall at the £8.00 which covers the use of the since the previous sports editor sports centre. On hand will be lovely new archery equipment and Simon tragically departed the Imperial College fencers continued Colin Ledsome, a National Archery tuition, not to mention the other realm of the living. For those who their domnation of the BUSA com- Association certified instructor. All fun and games the club gets up to. haven't heard the news already, it petition with some excellent per- levels of experience will be catered Those interested can e-mail is my sad duty to tell you that formances in both the Men and for, from total newcomers to [email protected] or over the holidays Simon was bru- Women's competitions. experts. This is a new venture for [email protected] to find out tally stabbed to death during an Eddie and Louise achieved the club so it is hoped that from everything they wanted to know argument in a Mexican bordello. gold in the sabre competition with those who attend, a team can be but were afraid to ask. This means that I have found Mo getting to the last 16. myself manning the sports pages In the foil things were much single handedly, a situation that closer with five IC competitors streches me to the very limit of making the last 16. Mark and Dave my meagre faculties and, sadly, H were forced to fence against beyond. each other with Mark emerging the If any hepcats or kittens out victor. There was a welcome return there fancy stepping into the for Alex, returning after an injury breach and helping out with the forced absence to finish (contro- editing, they have only turn up at versially) in the last 16, Eddie the Felix offices and make this reached the last 8. Dave.D desire known. No experience is knocked out Mark in the last four, necessary as I will be only too but was unable to retain the gold happy to pass on the few scraps medal for IC. Great performances of information that I have gleaned all roud with five of the last 16 during my time here. Can you dig coming from Imperial. it? I know that you can. Unfortunately, the less said about Free Nelson Mandela! the Epee the better. ICRPC archers show that you needn't he embarassed by poor scores Jacob. In other news both Men and Women's teams have qualified for the BUSA shield, losing out in the main competition due to the ongo- ing medical school saga, however, Football Mestel: most of those out injured last term have recovered and there is no expense of his knackers. At half reason that with our domination of ICFC II v Royal Vets time we were one-up thanks to Sudden the BUSA event we cannot go on Martin 'Lineker' Archbold's fifth of to win this. Last term we lost to these Peak the season and the game had been Fencing restarts on Friday 16 Practice rejects 5-3, largely due to all ours. Death January and as usual Ziemek will be having nine and-a-half fit players Despite an impressive half, teaching. All are welcome (at any and finishing the match with the Laurent gave way for Si and new level) to one free session, especial- goalie Chris 'Scary Scouse' Barlow signing 'Bertie' Basset came on for Shocker ly women for the team next year. sent off. This time we were ready Steve. It was soon 1 -1 as Si gave Enquiries to Phil Miller for them. This time it would be dif- away a free-kick just outside the On 15 December Grandmaster Dr ([email protected]). ferent. box and keeper Chris fell over at jonathon Mestel of the Maths The first half belonged to us. the vital moment and saw the ball Department took on 30 brave Despite the match kicking off sail over his stricken form and into opponents in a simultaneous before Si arrived and therefore the back of the net. Apart from that chess display. Play started at Results leaving him sidelined for forty-five, it was more or less one way traffic 6.30pm and the last game had to the desire in the IC Reds was evi- in IC's favour. Sterling perfor- be curtailed in a "sudden death" dent and the Vets were on the run mances from Andy Ferguson at finish at about 10pm. Hockey from the kick-off. Steve, back after right-back and Rob in the centre of Dr Mestel was in good form ICHC 14-1 QMW I injury, finally shook off doubts defence denied the horse-moles- and despite many daring attempts 1CHC II 3 - 0 QMW about his ability to 'get stuck in' as ters even the sniff of another to outwit him (such as playing ille- ICHC 1111-1 Charing Cross he mixed it with the best of them chance, and from this platform we gal moves, making two moves ICHC IV 0 - 3 St Mary's while still keeping his distribution launched attack after attack. instead of one and nonchalantly of the ball efficient and incisive. Debutant Bertie sealed the match completing some maths home- Football Pistol Pete missed a sitter that with a superb shot into the top cor- work between moves) he scored ICFC II 2 - 1 Royal Vets Martin Keown would have buried ner with the outside of his left foot. 25 wins, 3 draws and 2 losses. ICFC III 2 - 2 king's III but this was only one chance Great things are expected after a The victorious challengers were ICFC IV 2 - 4 SOAS among many as we peppered their start like this. Nick Moloney and Timothy ICFC V 3 -OUCLVI goal with shots despite having the With a few more results like Douglas, while draws were wind against us. Their only real this, IC Seconds could achieve the achieved by Branko Bijeljic, Rugby chance came from a free-kick given promotion they richly deserve. Jonathon White and Women's ICRFC I 53 - 0 St Georges for an alleged back-pass. This was ICFC II 2 - 1 Royal Vets International Master Cathy Forbes. ICRFC II 40 - 30 King's 111 ably handled by Chris in goal at the